I’m getting old, I guess. This ad campaign annoys me. For those who don’t understand Dutch: if you take a Dodge Journey for a test-drive on the Father’s Day weekend, and make a baby on the back seat, then you have a chance of winning a car.

First off: it’s borderline immoral. There can be several reasons to have children, but winning a car shouldn’t be a motivation. Having children is quite a big thing. To make it into a gamble with a prize, feels wrong.

Secondly: the logistics. I can imagine they won’t require the couples to stay in the showroom with the car to perform the act, but where do you park? Side of the road? Public parking? In the garage at home? You’d need to live close enough to a garage. And what about the activities that happened in the car before you entered? What’s that smell? Is that a … on the backseat? OMG! Never mind, baby, we only have an hour, hurry! Close your eyes and think of off-road adventures.

And then the criterium for winning: the baby that’s closest to 8 March 2009 wins. I can imagine some future parents instructing their gynaecologist to have the birth on exactly that date. There’s a possibility for a 20K euro car, so if the baby has to come prematurely, then that’s just how it’s gotta be. And if you have 3 babies born on 8 March, that’s all equally ‘close’, right? Who will be chosen? The one that was born the closest to 12AM? (”Nurse, can, you change that hour of birth? Like one hour later, say 11.53AM?“)

For me this is a campaign thought out on the back of a napkin after a bit too much of alcohol. It should have stayed on that napkin.

Exhibit #1, May 2006:

Exhibit #2, August 2007:

Exhibit #3, May 2008:

A psychoanalyst would have hours of analysis pleasure on these beauties. The mammary image in the first picture clearly links forklift trucks (which is what they sell, by the way) to a homely feeling. There is also an element of surprise: forklifts can’t lift boobs?? Who would have thought? The second demonstrates your basic castration fear (Freud turns in his grave and shouts: “I thought of that one”) and the last one assures you that asian efficiency will be used to service … whatever (insert misogynist joke with ’screw’ and ’shaft’).

A look at TVH’s who’s-who indicates that the responsible person for the campaigns would be sales & marketing director L. Maertens. Keep excercising that innuendo muscle, Mr Maertens!