Goodbye Dylan. Rest in peace. (1999-2008)
DD lost two friends on Friday, May 9th. The pain appears endless and excruciating. I have been that young adult. I cannot tell her the pain will pass, because it won't. I tell her it will just becomes something else in time--a duller pain, a memory. Something that she will carry inside of her for the rest of her life. Just not so close to the surface, as it is right now.
We parents stand by helplessly, offering food and hugs and rides to wherever they wish to gather next. We don't want them to drive, because we know this pain comes in unpredictable waves. We want to take away their suffering, and go through it for them, so that they will all be okay, like they were earlier that day before the news broke. Like teenagers less than two weeks away from graduation. But we can't. We tell them their friends are with them forever, and that they are in God's arms now. And we look into their empty eyes and beg God to give them some peace. Just a moment of peace.
]]>I was thinking about the upcoming graduation the other day, and about a few of her friends who won't be there, because they dropped out over the past couple of years. One was from another country and just could never seem to overcome the language barrier; one dropped out because she came from an abusive home and made the choices she felt she needed to make to survive; and a third wanted to work full-time to help his struggling family.
According to this msnbc article, Cities cited for low high school graduation rates, 70 percent of high school students in the U.S. graduate with a diploma on time. But more than a million drop out each year. And there have been plenty of articles published online and in print lately about the drop-out epidemic (as some call it).
How do we fix this problem? Here's a good place to start: Solutions for America offers some ideas on Dropout Prevention.
]]>I think yellow has gotten a bad wrap over the years, and I guess I have contributed to this notion. Being olive-skinned, I always thought yellow was wrong wrong wrong for me, particularly the lighter shades. But this year, I decided to give it a shot, and went for this Cotton Rib Detail Scoop Neck Sweater from Ann Taylor Loft. So far, many people have told me I look good in it. And I may soon snap up this Garden Tote from Three Potato Four, for even a bit more yellow in my closet. It seems I am not the only one giving yellow my attention this season. Check out these features on the Web, celebrating the newfound popularity of yellow in fashion circles:
A few weeks ago, I was speaking with dd (who's 18) about reputations and she said it's quite difficult to get a "bad reputation" in high school these days because no one really cares what you do. I don't really buy this argument, but what do I know? I graduated from high school almost 26 years ago. Perhaps times have really changed. Can a teenage boy who has a lovely girlfriend cheat on her and really have no one think badly of him? I doubt it. And after the teen years, reputation is more complicated. If it all turns out to be true, and who knows at this point, can a teacher who cheats on his wife and has a sexual relationship with a student really ever get his good name back?
I once had a boss who told me my biggest flaw was that I "wanted to be liked and have people think well of me." I looked at her and said, "who doesn't want to be liked? Who would choose to have people think badly of them?" When she turned and flew off on her broom (get it?) I suddenly got it: reputation is a concept that means different things to different people. When I worked for a large corporation, I did want to be liked, and also respected. My old boss didn't care about those things, and as a result, was quite disliked and not respected at all.
According to wikipedia:
Reputation is the opinion (more technically, a social evaluation) of the public toward a person, a group of people, or an organization.
wikipedia also states:
Reputation is known to be a ubiquitous, spontaneous and highly efficient mechanism of social control in natural societies.
Whoa. Social control? I hadn't ever thought of it like that, but it makes sense to me. Either way, I will continue to tell my kids that reputation does matter. Because I still believe that it's tough out there, and sometimes, your good reputation is all you have.
So I went in search of support for my "organized is always better" theory and did find plenty of articles, but was also surprised to find some experts saying the very opposite. In Time's Messy is the New Neat, I read that some people argue that spending lots of time organizing can be counterproductive. And in CBS News' Being Messy Has Its Perks, I learned something I didn't know: that really messy people do actually know where their stuff is, so perhaps to them, the disorder (as we see it) is quite orderly.
So, am I convinced that being neat is a waste of time? No way. Perhaps it's my nature or just my preference, but I'll take a nice, neat room with shoes lined up in a closet and books organized by height over a messy one any day. It just makes me feel better. Life is hard enough, and I always like to know exactly where my new Justin boots, favorite University of Florida pen, and my favorite scissors with the pink handle are, just in case I need them.
Imagine getting laid off from a glamorous, six-figure job, having to change your entire lifestyle drastically, getting screwed out of one new prospect after the next, then really sticking-it-to-the-man by getting your memoir about the whole ordeal published. Apparently, that's what happened to Bitter is the New Black author Jen Lancaster. The result: a hilarious book (if you like sarcasm and mean people) that I am really glad I picked up when I was in the middle of bum-fu**-Georgia looking at colleges in January with my daughter. Anyhoo, I loved loved loved this book. It's chick-lit-ish, but if you're not crazy about that genre, you might like it anyway. It's one of the few books that almost all of my friends have read, and we all agreed it was fab.]]>
Of course, these were just fantasies--fleeting, unrealistic fantasies that I never planned to follow through with, even if I could have. But I think most people, at one time or another, have wished to just go somewhere new and start over fresh, minus the baggage that adulthood inevitably brings.
Those days more than 20 years ago came rushing back today when I read this article, Man Auctions His Life, on Reuters Oddly Enough site. It seems a bit extreme, but hey, it's his life. (But not for long...)
]]>| You Are Fairly Normal |
 Like most people you are normal in some ways... But you aren't a completely normal person. You're a little weird too! Why You Are Normal: You think fishnet stockings are trashy You think glasses can make someone more attractive If you had to, you rather live without music and still have laughter You would rather be an astronaut than a movie star You check your daily horoscope Why You Aren't Normal: You prefer flat potato chips. You are no longer with your first love You rather screw someone over than be screwed over You prefer non fiction to fiction You find the Chicken Dance to be the more embarrassing dance |