Forwarded Emails and Pics

choose wife

noreply@blogger.com (tsblogs) — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 10:05:00 +0000

Choosing a wife

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market She earns several times the £5,000. She gives him back his £5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then he married the one with the biggest tits.

Men are like that, you know.

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research... This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

life balance sheet

noreply@blogger.com (tsblogs) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 10:01:00 +0000

Awesome reminder on the need to have a Balanced Life - balancing your balance sheet .....

Our Birth is our Opening Balance!
Our Death is our Closing Balance!
Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities
Our Creative Ideas are our Assets

Heart is our Current Asset
Soul is our Fixed Asset
Brain is our Fixed Deposit
Thinking is our Current Account

Achievements are our Capital
Character & Morals, our Stock-in-Trade
Friends are our General Reserves
Values & Behaviour are our Goodwill
Patience is our Interest Earned
Love is our Dividend
Children are our Bonus Issues
Education is Brands / Patents

Knowledge is our Investment
Experience is our Premium Account
The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet Accurately.
The Goal is to get the Best Presented Accounts Award.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some very Good and Very bad things ..
The most destructive habit....... ........ ......Worry
The greatest Joy......... ......... ......... ....Giving
The greatest loss..................Loss of self-respect

The most satisfying work......... ........Helping others
The ugliest personality trait....... .......Selfishness
The most endangered species..... ....Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource.... ......... ......Our youth

The greatest 'shot in the arm'........ .Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome.... ......... ...Fear
The most effective sleeping pill....... Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease...... .......Excuses

The most powerful force in life........ ........... Love
The most dangerous act.............................. .A gossip
The world's most incredible computer.... ....The brain
The worst thing to be without..... ......... ..... Hope

The deadliest weapon...... ........ .........The tongue
The two most power-filled words....... .... 'I Can'
The greatest asset....... .......... ......... ...........Faith
The most worthless emotion.... .......... ....Self- pity

The most beautiful attire...... ......... .........SMILE!
The most prized possession.. ........ .....Integrity
The most powerful channel of communication. ..Prayer
The most contagious spirit...... ......... ......Enthusiasm

Life ends; when you stop Dreaming,
Hope ends; when you stop Believing,
Love ends; when you stop Caring,
And Friendship ends; when you stop Sharing...!!!

forward email: mind peace

noreply@blogger.com (tsblogs) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 09:56:00 +0000

Peace of Mind Tips and Advice

By Remez Sasson
Most people would be glad to have some peace of mind in their life. They would be happy to forget their troubles, problems and worries, and enjoy a few moments of inner calmness and freedom from obsessing thoughts.
What is peace of mind? It is a state of inner calmness and tranquility, together with a sense of freedom, when thoughts and worries cease, and there is no stress, strain or fear. Such moments are not so rare. They may be experienced while being engaged in some kind of an absorbing or interesting activity, such as while watching an entertaining movie or TV program, while being with someone you love, while reading a book or while lying on the sand at the beach.
When you are on vacation, do you experience some sort of mental numbness? At this time, the mind becomes calmer, with fewer thoughts and fewer worries. Even while you are deeply asleep, not aware of your thoughts, you are in a state of inner peace.
Such activities, and similar ones, take away the mind from its usual thoughts and worries, and bring about temporary inner peace.
The question is, how to bring more peace of mind into our life, and more importantly, how to experience it in times of trouble. You might also ask whether it is possible to make it a habit, and enjoy it always and under all circumstances. First, you need to learn to bring more moments of inner peace into your daily life. Later, you will be able to experience these moments in times of trouble or difficulties too, when you really need inner calmness and tranquility.
You can turn peace of mind into a natural habit, but to do so, special training is required, through concentration exercises, meditation and other means. Browse this website, and you will find articles, advice and techniques for attaining peace of mind, as well as a special book dedicated to this subject.
Here are a few simple things that can help you:

Reduce the amount of time you read the newspapers or watch the news on TV.
Stay away from negative conversations and from negative people.
Don't hold grudges. Learn to forget and forgive. Nurturing ill feelings and grievances hurts you and causes lack of sleep.
Don't be jealous of others. Being jealous means that you have low self-esteem and consider yourself inferior to others. Jealousy and low self esteem, often lead to lack of inner peace.
Accept what cannot be changed. This saves a lot of time, energy and worries.
Every day we face numerous inconveniences, irritations and situations that are beyond our control. If we can change them, that's fine, but this is not always possible. We must learn to put up with such things and accept them cheerfully.
Learn to be more patient and tolerant with people and events.
Don't take everything too personally. Some emotional and mental detachment is desirable. Try to view your life and other people with a little detachment and less involvement. Detachment is not indifference, lack of interest or coldness. It is the ability to think and judge impartially and logically. Don't worry if again and again you fail to manifest detachment. Just keep trying.
Let bygones be gone. Forget the past and concentrate on the present moment. There is no need to evoke unpleasant memories and immerse yourself in them.
Practice some concentration exercises. This will help you to reject unpleasant thoughts and worries that steal away your peace of mind.
Learn to practice meditation. Even a few minutes a day will make a change in your life.

Inner peace ultimately leads to external peace. By creating peace in our inner world, we bring it into the external world, affecting other people too.

fax

noreply@blogger.com (tsblogs) — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 09:54:00 +0000

An American, Japanese, and a Sardar (indian Sikh) were sitting in the
sauna naked. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American pressed
his forearm and the beeping stopped. The others looked at him
questioningly. "That's my pager," he said, "I have a microchip under the
skin of my arm.
A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese lifted his palm to his
ear. When he finished he explained, "That's my mobile phone. I have a
microchip
in my hand.
The Sardar felt low-tech and inferior. He didn't know what to do to be
as impressive as the American & the Japanese. He decided to take a break
in the toilet. When he returned, he didn't realize that there was a
piece of toilet paper got stuck and hanging from his backside. The
others raised their eyebrows and said, "Wow! What's that?" Instead of
being embarrassed, inspiration struck his mind. The Sardar explained,
"I'm getting a FAX. The other two fainted.

confession booth

noreply@blogger.com (tsblogs) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 15:27:00 +0000

Confession booth
After having far too many drinks in the bar, a man staggered into a
church and went into a confession booth. After a few minutes of
listening to the drunkard’s moaning, a priest stepped into the
adjacent booth and spoke to the drunkard through the screen.

“ Son, may I help you ? ” asked the priest.
“ God, I hope so,” the drunkard replied, “ Do you have any tissue
paper in this toilet ?

funny email : porch

noreply@blogger.com (tsblogs) — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 15:26:00 +0000

Handyman’s job
A woman wanting to earn some money decided to hire herself out as a
handyman and started convassing in a wealthy neighborhood. She went
to the house of a wealthy man and asked the owner if he had any jobs
for her to do. “ Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you
charge ?”
The woman said, “ How about fifty dollars ?” The wealthy
man agreed and told her that the paint and ladder that she might need
were in the garage. A short time later, the woman came to the door to
collect her money.

“ You’re finished already ? ” he asked.
“ Yes,” she answered, “ and since I had some paint left over, I gave
it two coats.” Impressed, the man reached into his wallet for the
fifty dollars.

“ And by the way,” she added, “ that’s not a Porch, it’s a Mercedes !”

forwarded email: 12 billion

noreply@blogger.com (tsblogs) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 15:24:00 +0000

US invention
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered
that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the
problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a
pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost
any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below
freezing to 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil.

joke email: curse

noreply@blogger.com (tsblogs) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 15:23:00 +0000

Pig and bitch curse
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving
down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of
the window and yells "PIG!!!"

The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!!!"
They each then continue on their way, and ..... as the man rounds the
next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road ..... and
dies immediately.
If only men would listen.

forward email: ice cream

noreply@blogger.com (tsblogs) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 15:22:00 +0000

Old man on a stool ordered banana split ice cream in ice cream parlor

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream
parlor and pulled himself slowly and painfully up onto a stool. After
catching his breath he ordered a banana split ice cream. The waitress
asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
" No," he replied, "arthritis.”

forwarded email: dumb blonde

noreply@blogger.com (tsblogs) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 15:20:00 +0000

Dumb blonde flying in first class
A beautiful blonde flopped down in first class on a flight from Los
Angeles bound for New York. A flight attendant approached her to say
that her ticket was only good for economy class.

“ But I am beautiful and I am blonde and I am heading for New York
city,” she replied, “ I deserve first class.”
Frustrated, the flight attendant summoned her boss who also asked the
blonde to move over to the economy class seat. “ Don’t you see how
beautiful I am ?” replied the blonde, “ I am a blonde and blondes fly
first class.”

Finally, the pilot came over to speak to her. After a few moments,
the blonde got up and went to the economy class to take a seat there.
“ What did you tell her ? ” asked the flight attendant.
“ I told her that first class wasn’t going to New York, only the
economy class goes to New York.”

joke email: Jim’s birthday outing

noreply@blogger.com (tsblogs) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 15:18:00 +0000

Jim’s birthday outing

Since Jim works hard
at the factory and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball
at the gym, his wife thinks that he is pushing himself too hard. So
for his birthday, she takes him to a local beer pub. The doorman at
the club greets them and says, “ Hey, Jim ! How ya doing ? ” His wife
is puzzled and asks if he has been to this pub before. “ Oh no,” Jim
says, “ He’s on my bowling team.” When they are seated, a waitress
asks Jim if he would like his usual Budweiser. Jim’s wife is becoming
uncomfortable and says, “ You must have come here many times for that
woman to know you drink Budweiser.”

“ No honey, she’s in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them.”
A lady dancer comes over to their table and throws her arms around Jim
and says, “ Hi Jimmy, you want your usual table dance ? ” By now,
Jim’s wife is furious and she grabs her purse and storms out of the
club. Jim follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can
slam the door, he jumps in beside her and she starts screaming at him.
The cab driver turns his head and says, “ Hi Jim, looks like you
have picked up a real doozy this time !!! ”

funny email: Insistent lady cashier

noreply@blogger.com (tsblogs) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 15:18:00 +0000

another funny email

An old man walked into a shop and got some dog food and went to pay
for it at the cashier counter. The lady at the cashier told him that
he couldn’t buy the dog food because she needed evidence that he had a
dog. The old man protested and told the cashier that her request was
ridiculously absurd, but the cashier insisted that he showed her his
dog. So the old man brought in his dog and showed it to the cashier
and he got to buy the dog food.

The next day the same old man went to
get some cat food and the cashier told him that he couldn’t buy the
cat food until she got evidence that he had a cat. The old man
again protested and told the cashier that her request was absurd, but
the cashier insisted that he first prove to her that he has a cat.
So the old man went home and brought along his cat and he got to buy
the cat food.

Next day the same old man went in again and he brought
along a box. He told the cashier to put her hand
into the box and feel its contents and so she did. She said it felt
moist, warm, sticky and soft. The old man then said to the cashier,
“ Now that you’re satisfied with the evidence, can I have some toilet
paper please ? ”

forwarded email parachute club

noreply@blogger.com (tsblogs) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 07:11:00 +0000

Yesterday your daughter asked why u didn't do something useful with your time.   She suggested to go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys my own age.

U did this, and when u got home last night u told her that u had joined a parachute club .   She said "Are you nuts? You're almost 60 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"
I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card.

She said to you, "You idiot, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a
Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!"

U R in trouble again and don't know what to do! You signed up for five jumps a week!   Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier.

Forward Email: 8 Marriage-Busters to Give Up Today

noreply@blogger.com (tsblogs) — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 05:38:00 +0000

8 Marriage Busters to give up today

By Sarì Harrar and Rita DeMaria, Ph.D.

1. Nagging, nagging, nagging.

We know about the squeaky wheel, but complaining loud and long gets you only short-term gains and builds up powerful discontent on your spouse's side.

2. Blaming, criticizing, and name-calling.

These tactics belittle the person you promised to love, honor, and cherish; let you play angel to his or her devil; and don't address the responsibility you both share for your marital happiness.

3. Bullying, rudeness, and selfishness.

These ugly power plays tell your partner that he or she doesn't count at all in your eyes.

4. Peacekeeping and passive placating.

A 'whatever you say, Dear' attitude may keep your home quieter but leaves you in the martyr's role. You'll end up angry, defensive, and a drudge. What fun is that?

5. Deploying logic all the time.

Life isn't the starship Enterprise; playing the dispassionate Mr. Spock not only cuts you off from your feelings but also subtly tells your spouse that his or her feelings don't count either.

6. Throwing up distractions.

You're just having fun, right? Think again. Being hyperactive, fooling around all the time, and refusing to focus -- in conversation or in life -- often is an attempt to avoid intimacy or difficult issues, which can be horribly frustrating for your mate.

7. Stonewalling.

Another stall maneuver, stonewalling stops arguments and constructive discussions cold. Not much can happen when one spouse just won't talk about it.

8. Making unilateral decisions about the big things.

Sometimes you have to pick the bathroom paint color on your own. But if you're making major decisions about your money, your time, your kids, and your family life, you're acting without accountability and cutting off the possibility of joint decision-making and deeper intimacy.

microchip

noreply@blogger.com (Thrift Solutions) — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 01:57:00 +0000

Question to Dalai Lama

noreply@blogger.com (Thrift Solutions) — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 07:44:00 +0000

A question was posed to Dalai Lama:

What surprises you most?

His answer:
"Man"
Because he sacrifice his health to make money
Then sacrifice his money to repair his health
Then he is anxious about future that he doesn't enjoy the present
and thus he doesnt live in the present or future
so he live like he's never going to die
then he dies having never really lived

==========

A tale of Two Seas

noreply@blogger.com (tsblogs) — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 13:57:00 +0000

A tale of Two Seas
Sitting in the Geography class in school, I remember how fascinated I was when we were being taught all about the Dead Sea. As you probably recall, the Dead Sea is really a Lake, not a sea (and as my Geography teacher pointed out, if you understood that, it would guarantee 4 marks in the term paper!)
Its so high in salt content that the human body can float easily. You can almost lie down and read a book! The salt in the Dead Sea is as high as 35% - almost 10 times the normal ocean water. And all that saltiness has meant that there is no life at all in the Dead Sea. No fish. No vegetation. No sea animals. Nothing lives in the Dead sea.

And hence the name: Dead Sea.

While the Dead Sea has remained etched in my memory, I don't seem to recall learning about the Sea of Galilee in my school Geography lesson. So when I heard about the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea and the tale of the two seas - I was intrigued. Turns out that the Sea of Galilee is just north of the Dead Sea. Both the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea receive their water from river Jordan. And yet, they are very, very different.

Unlike the Dead Sea, the Sea of Galilee is pretty, resplendent with rich, colorful marine life. There are lots of plants. And lots of fish too. In fact, the sea of Galilee is home to over twenty different types of fishes.

Same region, same source of water, and yet while one sea is full of life, the other is dead. How come?

Here apparently is why. The River Jordan flows into the Sea of Galilee and then flows out. The water simply passes through the Sea of Galilee in and then out - and that keeps the Sea healthy and vibrant, teeming with marine life.

But the Dead Sea is so far below the mean sea level, that it has no outlet. The water flows in from the river Jordan, but does not flow out. There are no outlet streams. It is estimated that over a million tons of water evaporate from the Dead Sea every day. Leaving it salty. Too full of minerals. And unfit for any marine life.

The Dead Sea takes water from the River Jordan, and holds it. It does not give. Result? No life at all.
Think about it.
Life is not just about getting. Its about giving. We all need to be a bit like the Sea of Galilee.

We are fortunate to get wealth, knowledge, love and respect. But if we don't learn to give, we could all end up like the Dead Sea. The love and the respect, the wealth and the knowledge could all evaporate. Like the water in the Dead Sea.

If we get the Dead Sea mentality of merely taking in more water, more money, more everything the results can be disastrous. Good idea to make sure that in the sea of your own life, you have outlets. Many outlets. For love and wealth - and everything else that you get in your life. Make sure you don't just get, you give too. Open the taps. And you'll open the floodgates to happiness.

Make that a habit. To share. To give.
And experience life. Experience the magic!

Get out of the car!

noreply@blogger.com (tsblogs) — Sat, 02 Jul 2011 06:25:00 +0000

Good funny forwarded email - Joke email but true

Malaysia, truly paradoxical

noreply@blogger.com (tsblogs) — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 11:15:00 +0000

Foreigners are bemused by some of our peculiarities.

An expatriate friend of mine is slowly settling down to life in Kuala Lumpur. We will just call this American, Paul.

It is his first trip to Asia and he has found it easy adjusting himself. English is widely spoken here, which means he has no problem moving around.

The easy availability of news allows Paul to closely follow events and life in Malaysia but the country remains a paradox to him.

I assure him that he is not the only one who feels that way. Even Malaysians born and bred here are still trying to figure out the many contradictions of life in Malaysia.

Well, Paul has been pretty observant and has asked me about some of our peculiarities.

Below are his observations after a month:

Malaysians are supposed to be lazy when it comes to reading. They read an average of one page a year. Okay, the latest statistics say one-and-a-half pages.

But Paul is amazed at how we have become so emotionally interlocked over a book first published over 40 years ago. We may not have produced any literary giants, except our home-grown laureates, but he is impressed by how passionate we are when it comes to literature.

Like elsewhere, money doesn’t grow on trees here but access to it is pasted on every available place on the streets.

With thousands and thousands of notices plastered all over the city – offering competitive rates with just one mobile phone number to call – Paul thinks getting loans in Malaysia is rather easy.

He’s impressed that the country is both flushed with funds and how easy it is for people to borrow cash as there’s no red tape. Even those blacklisted can borrow. It’s a great country, he says.

Malaysians are health freaks. They are so health conscious that spas and services for massages, starting from foot massages upwards, have been sprouting all over towns and cities.

Notices promoting “Honey Massage” and “Rocket Massage” are even sprayed on walls. And of course, the Malaysian service providers are super efficient, making the massages available with just a phone call.

Malaysians love debates. Every other day, someone seems to be throwing a challenge to debate with another. He feels that these guys must have great oratory skills. He thinks that this is yet another indicator of a truly democratic country.

Paul finds it hard to fathom that Malaysia has a problem with corruption. Something is not quite right as Malaysians are also so religious. His question: If everyone gets all worked up whenever religious matters are questioned, how can the country be grappling with corruption? Many seem so puritanical too.

Paul also observes that Malaysians are environmentally conscious and take great pains in loving their trees. There may not be tree huggers like in the West but he thinks we protect our environment using the full brunt of the law.

He thinks our policemen spend an awful lot of time protecting trees because he always sees them behind trees, along the roads and highways. Such dedication and love for the greens, he says.

Paul has also found out that Malaysia, which used to rely on rubber for its economic growth in early days, still tends to stretch the meaning of being on time.

He has learned that when people say “on the way” or “coming soon”, it really means they are still at home or have yet to begin their journey.

Paul has also discovered that “traffic jam” is the most convenient Malaysian excuse for not being punctual, even if the person arrives an hour late. The rule of thumb is to add another hour if it rains.

But the best part is this: Malaysians must love many things about pirates. We call unlicensed taxis “pirate taxis” and imitation DVDs, “pirated DVDs”.

Pirated DVDs are illegal but openly sold. No one would admit buying or owning one but many Malaysians seem familiar with it.

And pirated DVDs even carry messages telling Malaysians why they should NOT buy pirated DVDs, with a short trailer of a speeding car, showing you the difference in quality between an original and a pirated copy.

Malaysia is truly amazing. Paul is already in love with Malaysia after being here a month.

To know Malaysia is certainly to love Malaysia.

motivational email: How To Plant Your Garden

noreply@blogger.com (tsblogs) — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 10:55:00 +0000

motivational email:
How To Plant Your Garden
First, you come to the garden alone,
                        While the dew is still on the roses....
FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING,
          PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS:

1. Peace of mind
                2. Peace of heart
                                 3. Peace of soul
PLANT FOUR ROWS OF SQUASH:

1. Squash gossip
2. Squash indifference
3. Squash grumbling
4. Squash selfishness

PLANT FOUR ROWS OF LETTUCE:

1. Let us be faithful 2. Let us be kind
3. Let us be patient
4. Let us really love one another

NO GARDEN IS WITHOUT TURNIPS:

1. Turn up for meetings
                   2. Turn up for service
                               3. Turn up to help one another

TO CONCLUDE OUR GARDEN WE MUST HAVE THYME:
1. Time for each other
                   2. Time for family
                               3. Time for friends
WATER FREELY WITH PATIENCE AND CULTIVATE WITH LOVE..   THERE IS MUCH FRUIT IN YOUR GARDEN BECAUSE YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW.

forwarded email: Butter or margarine

noreply@blogger.com (tsblogs) — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 10:13:00 +0000

forwarded email: Pass The Butter Please.

This is interesting...........

Margarine was originally developed to fatten turkeys. When it killed the turkeys, the people who had put money into the research wanted a payback, so they put their heads together to figure out what to do with this product.

It was a white substance with no food appeal, so they added the yellow coloring and sold it to people to use in place of butter. How do you like it? They have come out with some clever new flavorings.

DO YOU KNOW the difference between Margarine and Butter?

Read on to the end... it gets very interesting.

The two have the same amount of calories.

Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams; compared with 5 grams for Margarine.

Eating Margarine can increase heart disease in women by 53% over eating the same amount of Butter, according to a recent Harvard Medical Study.

Eating Butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in other foods.

Butter has many nutritional benefits; whereas Margarine has few, and that is only because those are added!

Butter tastes much better than Margarine, and it can enhance the flavors of other foods.

Butter has been around for centuries; whereas Margarine has been around for less than 100 years.

Regarding Margarine, it:

Is very high in transfatty acids.

Triples the risk of coronary heart disease.

Increases total cholesterol and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol) and lowers HDL cholesterol, (the good cholesterol).

Increases the risk of cancers by as much as five times.

Lowers the quality of breast milk.

Decreases immune response.

Decreases insulin response.

AND HERE IS THE PART THAT IS VERY INTERESTING!

Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC and it shares 27 ingredients with PAINT.

These facts alone were enough to have me avoiding margarine for life, and anything else that is hydrogenated (this means hydrogen is added, which changes the molecular structure of the substance).

You can try this yourself:

Purchase a container of Margarine and leave it open in your garage or shaded area. Within a couple of days, you will notice a couple of things:

No flies, not even those pesky fruit flies, will go near it (that should tell you something).

It does not rot or smell differently because it has no nutritional value. Nothing will grow on it. Even those teeny weeny microorganisms will not a find a home to grow. Why? Because it is nearly plastic . Would you melt your Tupperware and spread that on your toast?

joke email: GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

noreply@blogger.com (tsblogs) — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 13:12:00 +0000

joke emails :GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa - half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe - well-developed and open to trade, especially for something of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain - very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece & gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all-conquering past..

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel - has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada – cool, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet - wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.... An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran – ruled by a couple of nuts

THE END.

p/s: click here for more tips on how to make a woman laugh

forwarded email on JPJ regulation for car plate numbers

noreply@blogger.com (Thrift Solutions) — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 07:28:00 +0000

While most of us drive a car or two, if not at least a motorcycle. How many of us really know the number plates of the car or motorcycle that we are driving/riding are according to JPJ regulations?

Most of us depends on the number plate makers who know the JPJ guidelines for number plates but often do not follow these guidelines. When you are stopped by a Police of JPJ enforcement officer, you are the one going to pay for the compounds, not the number plate maker. Hence you are strongly advised to check your number plates and make the necessary corrections, unless you want to live with fear of being summoned anytime by the Police or JPJ enforcement officers.
Most of the violations are the alphabets and numbers are placed too close.

99% of current Penang number plates PJX XXXX have the P & J alphabets placed far too close.
Fancy alphabets and numbers are another common mistake.
Reflective or aluminium colour alphabets and numbers are not allowed.

forwarded email: golf balls

noreply@blogger.com (Thrift Solutions) — Sat, 04 Dec 2010 12:39:00 +0000

The Mayonnaise Jar

When things in your life seem, almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.When the class began, wordlessly,He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
And proceeded to fill it with golf balls.He then asked the students, if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.Of course, the sand filled up everything else.He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectivelyfilling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided,'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.The golf balls are the important things - family,children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions –Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.The sand is everything else --The small stuff.'If you put the sand into the jar first,' He continued,there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for life.If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,You will never have room for the things that are important to you.So...Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.Play With your children.Take time to get medical checkups.Take your partner out to dinner.There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

'Take care of the golf balls first --The things that really matter.Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

'One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.The professor smiled.'I'm glad you asked'.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

Joke email: Attention: All Male Taxpayers

noreply@blogger.com (Thrift Solutions) — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 08:19:00 +0000

The Australian Taxation Office

Attention: All Male Taxpayers

Dear Sirs,

NOTICE OF CHANGES IN TAXATION AS ANNOUNCED BY THE HONOURABLE PAUL KEATING

The only thing the Australian Taxation Office has not yet taxed is your Ding Dong. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is

hanging around unemployed,20% of the time it is pissed off, 30% of the time it is hard up ,and 10% it is in the hole. On top of this

it has two dependents and they're both nuts.

Accordingly, from 1st of October, 2010 your Ding Dong will be taxed according to its size. To determine your category, please

insert this information on Page 2, item 13 of the standard "S"form.

4 - 6 inches Nuisance Tax $ 25.00

6 - 8 inches Privelege Tax $ 35.00

8 - 10 inches Pole Tax $ 45.00

10 -12 inches Luxury Tax $ 50.00

Anyone under four (4) inches is eligible for a refund.Anyone exceeding twelve (12) inches must file an Tax Return and include the appropriate item under Capital Gains. Please do not apply for an extension.

Yours faithfully,

(Signed)

Pecker Checker