Fostering Awareness

She's 4!!

2013-09-05T16:17:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday Bri!!

50 Years

2013-08-28T22:01:00.001-07:00

A little update

2013-08-19T13:24:00.001-07:00

I just wanted to check in since it has been quite awhile
Life is really good
We are loving it here in California
I can't believe we have been here a year already
Its finally feeling like home

David is almost 2 and a half now
He is a little ball of energy
And by far the most athletic toddler I have ever meet
It will be interesting to see what the future has in store for these talents

Brianna will be 4 in three weeks

Seems crazy she is not a baby or even a toddler any more

She such a girly girl

She loves her nails painted and she really wants to get her ears pierced

We shall see

Maybe for her birthday

Bri and David are the same exact size

Everywhere we go people ask if they are twins

They are 18 mos apart but you would never know it

They are so close and play together all day

I even hear David talking to her in his sleep

William just turned 8
He is a great big brother
He goes back to school next week
And he is counting down the days
He will be going into 2nd grade this year
I love that he is still so excited about school

Right now he loves all things science

He is really into dinosaurs

He also loves cars

He wants a mustang when he learns to drive

A few years ago that would have seemed so far away

But at the rate that time is just flying by I am afraid he will be driving in the blink of an eye

Fall?

2012-10-17T10:10:00.003-07:00

Its amazing to me that Halloween is only two weeks away

It's hard to believe its fall

Most days the kids run around in shorts

And the water park is still a frequent destination

And afternoons are enjoyed on the beach

The leaves haven't changed

And I am not sure if they will

Its different and feels a little weird sometimes

But its a good weird

Checking in

2012-09-27T17:24:00.001-07:00

Hmmm... Where to start?
Its been busy since I last checked in here

The craziness of moving 2,760 miles has slowly worn off
And this place is feeling much less like vacation
and more and more like home

The kids are adjusting amazingly well
They love it here
William and Bri started school at the beginning of the month
We home schooled William for a year and a half so it was an adjustment
But he is doing well and has made lots of new friends

Bri is going to preschool 3 days a week in the morning
I must have gone back and forth 100 times
if I should send her or keep her home another year
But she loves school and her teacher
So I'm happy

And its given me a little time during the day
That it is just me and David
We have never really had 1 on 1 time together before
So its really nice doing things with just the two of us

I am sure there is a ton that I am not thinking of
But I just want to stop by and give a quick update
I have so many photos to post but I don't want to overwhelm this post
So check out my Flickr on the right sidebar
and you can see some of what we have been up to

splish splash

2012-07-23T10:40:00.003-07:00

Weekendness

2012-07-21T16:36:00.003-07:00

beach day

2012-07-11T21:03:00.001-07:00

Today was our first real beach day
And it was so nice
Its a lot closer then the beach was when we lived on the east coast
So I think we will be visiting pretty frequently
Now that I know how to get there and all

Its funny the little differences between the beach here and back east
For one the water is sooo much colder then it is in Jersey

William was fearless and splashed around
But there is no way you will catch me in there past my ankles anytime soon

Also the water is so blue here
I'm used to a greener hued ocean

And the sand seems to be much coarser
But maybe that was just the beach we were on today
I don't know

And I just can't get over the mountains
I feel like everywhere I look there are big beautiful mountains
Even at the beach!

Out West!

2012-07-02T17:18:00.000-07:00

We are finally in our new home
Things are starting to get settled
I love our new house so much more then I expected
The location is amazing
Mountain views in just about every direction
The weather is perfect
70 degrees everyday so far and sunny

The kids love it
They have lots of outside space to run
And the weather is so nice here is can actually use it
Back east there were maybe 3 months of the year
that we really spent our days outside
So they are really excited

The trip out here was long
But I was so amazed at how well the kids handled it
8+ hours of driving a day with 3 kids and a dog was a lot
but we made it here and it was so worth it

~near and far~

2012-06-20T10:51:00.000-07:00

You can here crickets chirping
Its been so quite around here
In this little corner of the blog world
So I thought I would pop in really quick and give a little update
We are in the process of a BIG move
Right now I am packing all of our belongings
And in a few short days we will be leaving on the adventure of our lifetime
We will be driving almost 3,000 miles to our new home
I am so excited and nervous at the same time

I can't wait to share this part of our journey with you guys
Hopefully we will have some wifi on the road
But if not I will have lots to share
when we arrive on the other side of the country next week!

look who's 7!!

2012-06-15T07:12:00.003-07:00

We had a great day at Will's favorite playground
I didn't bring my camera because I wanted it to be all about him
It can be a distraction,
taking pictures
Everything viewed through a little rectangle
Its amazing how panoramic reality is
Sometimes you just have to step back
to see it

We had gluten-free brownies with almond ice cream for dessert
(not a bowl of fire as it appears in the photos)
It was my first successful gluten-free baking experience
After 2 years of failure it was a welcomed surprise
All in all it was a great relaxed day
I am still in shock that I have a 7 year old!

Toddler

2012-06-09T18:43:00.006-07:00

It feels like this little boy went from baby to toddler overnight

I'm not sure I'm ready for it

lost and found

2012-06-04T06:53:00.000-07:00

About a year ago my computer got a virus that slowly took over
I had fair warning that it was going so I backed everything up on an external hard drive
And wiped my computer clean deleting all of my files
That still didn't work so I ended up getting a new laptop
I plugged my hard drive in and guess what?
It was empty!

All of my pictures were gone
My heart sank and I felt a little sick
Most of my favorites were posted on here or flikr of facebook

But I took an internet hiatus when David was a newborn
So all of his baby pictures were gone
I don't even like typing those words

Then fast forward to yesterday
I was in the attic sorting through some boxes

and I came across a jewelry box
and inside was a 8g SD card

I had no idea what was on it and no recollection of losing it

So I raced down stairs
Popped it in the laptop
And waited a second
Opened Lightroom
And pressed import and held my breath

549 pictures imported
All of baby David
Its not everything I lost

But it softens the blow oh so much!

(This one is from the day he was placed with us at 2 days old and 4lbs)

So glad these weren't lost forever

Kiddie Pool

2012-05-26T13:16:00.000-07:00

(I love how our one year old already has a six pack, he is like a baby Hercules)

Mud Puddles!

2012-05-16T10:34:00.004-07:00

Mothers Day Tears

2012-05-14T07:37:00.001-07:00

I shot my first Wedding Saturday
It was really fun and crazy and stressful and beautiful
And I didn't get home until really late
Normally I'm in bed by 10
But it was more like 1 by time I got to sleep
David woke up at 3 and I tried for an hour to get him back to sleep
No luck
Finally I took him down stairs
Let him run around at 4 in the morning
And I curled up on the couch and started editing my wedding photos
I mean if you have to be up you might as well make good use of you time, right?
At about 6 David finally gave in and passed out on my lap
I took him back to bed and slept for a few hours

I think total I may have gotten three hours of sleep
but that's a generous figure
I wish I could say that this was just a fluke
and normally David sleeps through the night
But lately this is a nightly occurrence
I woke up feeling completely exhausted
and really sore from all of the running around at the wedding
I am so out of shape that carrying a camera around for a few hours leaves me sore
sad reality
I really need to join the gym
Anyway.... I was tired and cranky

We had about and hour or so before we had to start getting the kids ready
for a mothers day lunch at Michael's grandmoms
So I set down to work on the pictures for a bit before we had to go
The phone rings
Michael gets it
He talked for awhile
Then came in the room super excited
He announced that someone really close to us is pregnant

Then it happened
I started to cry
It wasn't the type of crying you feel coming and you can kind of hold back a bit
It was more of the you just got punched in the stomach
The wind was completely knocked out of you
and there is no stopping it type of crying

It makes me feel so bad to think about because
I love this couple and I really am beyond happy that they are expecting
It really had nothing to do with them
It just struck a nerve
and it was one of those really deep down ones
that you try hard to pretend are not there
They seem to sting the most

So I sat there and cried my eyes out for a good ten minutes
Michael just stood there looking really confused
Because as good as I am at telling myself that I'm OK
I am even better at getting other people to believe that
So when stuff like this does surface
It a bit of a shock to all parties involved

I love that our family was formed through adoption
When we started this journey 3 years ago I never in a million years
would have thought I would be sitting here today as a mom of 3
Its just crazy how fast it all happened
And it didn't give me a whole like of time to think about biological children
Now my house and heart are full and I feel like that window may have closed
At least for right now
Most days I am 110% ok with that
but sometimes it hits me when I least expect it
At the park when I see another mom breastfeeding her child
Driving past the birth center and seeing all the flags of babies born that day
Finding out that some of my favorite people are expecting

The fact is if we decide down the road to add to our family
I feel like we will adopt again
It just what we have felt called to do
But some days I daydream about what our child would look like
If they would have my eyes or look more like Michael
What it would feel like to have a baby summersalt around inside of me
That first surprising kick
And the right of passage of giving birth
All of these things came flying at me when I heard the news
And it took my breath away

I finally collected myself
processed my unexpected sadness
and moved on with the day
got the kids dressed
and went to our mothers day lunch
It was gorgeous out
and I laid in the grass in the backyard
as the kids ran around and played
the sun beat down on me
and in that moment all felt right with the world
Weather my children grew in my heart or my womb
They are mine
They may not look like me but they act like me
They share my mannerisms and inflections
And sometimes its really hard to believe
that there is no biological thread between us
because of the bond we share
I may not have been there before they took their first breath
But I will be there for them until I take my last
And that's what makes me their mom

guarded

2012-05-10T11:50:00.000-07:00

These kids are pretty amazing
And I am lucky to call them mine
As for how the rest of the world sees it
It doesn't really matter

wordless wednesday

2012-05-09T12:36:00.000-07:00

It's Friday!

2012-05-04T12:14:00.002-07:00

Embrace

2012-05-03T06:37:00.004-07:00

Embracing the camera here

Introducing....

2012-04-30T19:52:00.000-07:00

Brianna Nicole

And

David Moses

With all of our children's adoptions was have just changed their last name. And while their first names are not the names that I may have picked, the more I get to know their personalities the more their names really suit them.

Forever & Always!

2012-04-26T09:39:00.003-07:00

It's almost adoption day!

2012-04-25T20:02:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow is the big day

I am beyond excited

Not sure how well I'll sleep tonight

Here is a little slide show of Mia's journey~

And Eli's~

What Now?

2012-04-23T13:04:00.002-07:00

Our adoption court date is only 4 days away!!
4 days people!!
I can hardly believe that when I say it
I keep expecting it to change
Someone to call with some problem
Some missing piece of paperwork that was carelessly neglected
Something to slow down the process yet again
But so far it looks like everything is in order for once

We had a few papers we had to sign with one of our caseworkers today
And I realized that this will be our last caseworker visit until court
And it could potentially be our last visit ever!
Then I got to thinking about our plans once our adoptions are finalized

I have so many mixed feelings about this
I love being a foster parent
I feel like its a huge part of my identity anymore
I love getting butterflies every time the phone rings from a strange number
I love that our family grows and contracts (in our case mostly grows lol)
at a rate that I really have very little to do with
I never sat down and said "you know what, I really want 3 kids in 3 years"
But here I am I couldn't have planed it any better myself

Each of our kids fits so perfectly into our family as a whole
All of their unique personalities some how balance each other
in a way I never anticipated
There has been something so magical about our foster journey
Not that it always felt that way at the time
Actually most of the time quite the opposite
But looking back its all pretty amazing

But what a long strange trip it's been
And my heart is tired from
all of the pushing and pulling in different directions
And we all have been living here under one roof
But all of the obstacles we have faced over the last few years
Have made it hard to really relax and just enjoy our family

So I think its time to take a break
and really enjoy each other for a while
I know we will foster again in the future
And in my heart it feels like our family has some more growing room :)
But for now I just want to take some time and enjoy life with
no case workers
or paper work
or parental visits
or home inspections
And just be!

1700 calorie smoothie

2012-04-19T11:05:00.000-07:00

I should start by saying this smoothie is not for everyone! William has always had difficultly gaining weight. It was stressful as a parent worrying if he got enough calories for the day. His food allergies made that even more difficult because the things that you normally would think of that are high fat/calorie foods tend to contain things he can't eat. He is on a Gluten, Diary, Soy and Yeast free diet. So in an attempt to relive some of the stress of wondering if he got enough I thought of all of the high fat foods he could have and turned them into this smoothie. This recipe is for a blender full. We use a large mug so it works out to two servings for us. I normally guess a bit on the measurements but they are pretty close for the most part. We used to do a smoothie at breakfast and one at lunch and normal food in between but now we are down to one a day in the am. This is more then your daily recommend intake for fat but since we are trying to promote weight gain it works for us. If you want less fat then use more hemp milk and do 1/2 can (or less) of the coconut milk. Also if you child doesn't have a milk allergy you could try regular milk or yogurt as well.

Ingredients Calories Fat Protein Fiber

1 cup of Cooked Quinoa 222 4g 8g 5g

½ of a box of Hemp Milk 280 10g 6g 2g

2 Bananas 210 0g 1g 3g

1 can of Coconut Milk 720 72g 6g 0g

2 tablespoons of Peanut butter 200 17g 7g 3g

1 handful of frozen Blackberries 70 0g 1g 4g

Total 1702 103g 29g 17g

Fostering Awareness

She's 4!!

50 Years

A little update

Fall?

Checking in

splish splash

Weekendness

beach day

Out West!

~near and far~

look who's 7!!

Toddler

lost and found

Kiddie Pool

Mud Puddles!

Mothers Day Tears

guarded

guarded adjective1.cautious; careful; prudent: to be guarded in one's speech

guarded

wordless wednesday

It's Friday!

Embrace

Introducing....

Forever & Always!

It's almost adoption day!

What Now?

1700 calorie smoothie

guarded

adjective
1.
cautious; careful; prudent: to be guarded in one's speech