Four Men Sporting Diaries

Third Edition: England or India Cricket which team won?

2011-10-28T17:57:00.000-07:00

Ozzy: Yeah its time for the third edition already this round table discussion train is catching up some speed and we finally get first words from our other two experts of whom Isabelle Leroy comes up with some cricket updates.

Isabelle: Before I start why is this blog called four men sporting diaries? Are you people ignoring me or have you counted yourself as an expert Ozzy.

Ozzy: No Isabelle it's because four men sounded cool you cant expect me to call this three men and a woman sporting diaries cut the feminine lecture out tell us about cricket then go home cook some food and clean as you are supposed to do.

Isabelle: And i was told we had only one sexist here, anyways England and India fought like for the whole year and what only cricket could give us we still got a draw. England won all the matches in England, India won all the matches in India and we have a stalemate. Are you serious? For ages both teams play matches and that's what we get the home team always winning. Even Pakistan Srilanka 2nd test seems to be headed towards another draw. Come on people 2 test matches played over 5 days and you expect us to cheer that you declared a draw after us watching it for 5 days. No wonders test ratings are going down. We atleast had a result in the Australia South Africa ODI series with Australia winning the series 2-1. What surprises me is with their team and players how the hell do South Africa manage to even lose a single match let alone be embarrassed at the World Cup and then beaten at home by the new weak Australian team.

Ozzy: Wow that's not how we expected review by you Isabelle what happened at the Rugby World Cup?

Isabelle: New Zealand were crowned as favorites before the tournament and they won the world cup.

Ozzy: Wait is that it? Four years and you get one world cup and that is all you have got to report.

Isabelle: What is there to report the favorites won it. It was like pro wrestling where outcome was already given anyways I don't watch rugby.

Ozzy: You don't watch rugby... Then why did you volunteer to cover it.

Isabelle: I didn't you asked me if I could do it I said alright.

Ozzy: Oh... Well moving on I want to get done with introducing the last expert today Lord Michael Stevens my favorite guy because this guy is sane... What? What did you expect from this free blog detailed analysis and all the statistics be happy with what you get. LMS do you have anything for us?

LMS: Well to be honest nothing much to report about in tennis because to be frank who cares about who won an ATP tour title or a WTA title but yes Roger Federer is now world number 4 the end is near Fed Express sorry fans. Golf had no Tiger Woods so yeah not much to report about except Rory Mcllroy playing in Shanghai.

Ozzy: What is happening here LMS giving a lousy report, Isabelle keeping her obsessive behavior shut maybe it really is Halloween. Next time I promise we will have all our four experts... (drum rolls please) together. Yeah I know you don't care until next time...

Hamba Kahle

Second Edition: United Derby Blues and American Lockouts

2011-10-26T17:35:00.000-07:00

Ozzy: No one wants to hear what I have got to say so lets just forget it and lets go straight to our football expert Prince Andrey Gorbachev (he still makes me call him that).

Disclaimer Number One for Today: When I talk about football for my American readers I am talking about SOCCER which is actually called football and not american football that is supposed to be called rugby. So Soccer is football and football is rugby and rugby is... lets just ask Prince what the hell happened.

Andrey Gorbachev: First of all I don't like this in bracket joke thing you did with me here.

Ozzy: Get on with the news... Please

Andrey Gorbachev: Please always work... so I was talking about this humiliation that Manchester United faced by the hands of Manchester City being whipped 6-1.

Static One Alert: This was United's worse scoreline in a billion years or so.

Ozzy: Computer shut up this was actually their worse defeat in 40 or 50 years why does it matter you get the point right, also Sir Alex Ferguson called this "his worse defeat ever as a coach or a player".

Andrey Gorbachev: Talking of what went wrong nothing did, all the other experts are absolute idiots over analyzing everything what really happened was that United conceded a goal unexpectedly then they get a player red carded down to 10 men and so getting a goal against a great team like Manchester City becomes improbable and trying to do that they concede two more goals and Manchester United players are so smart that they think as if somehow they can make a comeback in the game and go on to concede 3 more goals trying to attack, making it 6-1. The famous Manchester United never dying spirit kills them this time again and again if only they could have been content with losing 2-0 or 3-0 for the night. Which brings me to a great joke.

Disclaimer Number 2 for Today: Manchester United fans don't be upset Prince supports the team that is winning. Till last week he was a Manchester United supporter and he made this joke when Manchester United defeated Arsenal 8-1. He will change his allegiance again so no need to fuzz over whatever he says.

Andrey Gorbachev:

Ferguson wife: Wake up Alex, its 7 already.
Fergie: What? They scored another one

Ozzy: Ok so that was as awkward as I would have expected any analysis done by the Prince (Andrey Gorbachev) but i must say that despite the unpleasantness and an highly inappropriate joke in the end a few of the things he said were definitely interesting and I will never hear another expert provide such analysis. Also our funniest expert last time had it pretty rough having to deal with a tragic topic today you will see him in his true elements it is Johnny time.

Johnny Blake: Thanks Ozzy, today we begin with what else but the big daddy of motor racing F1 racing where we will have the first ever Indian Grand Prix this week. Great for India to be hosting such an event after Commonwealth Games and the Cricket World Cup, similarly the chance to get more into the Indian market is also good for F1 so its a classic win win situation for the sports and the nation. Talking of predictions mine probably is that Sebastian Vettel won't win this one and with him having won most of the races this season that is quite a bold prediction. If you want to bet pick Alonso to win the race.

Disclaimer Number 3 for Today: As told in the introductions I again strongly advise you against believing in our expert picks they are highly incompetent in predicting and will probably help you in losing some money.

Johnny Blake: Over the lockouts that have happened in NFL and NBA i just have to say that we as fans are sick of the rich owners fighting rich players over money. To the players I say: You make more in a week then I have made in my life so far so stop whining and get on with playing. First it was the NFL lockout and currently we are stuck with the NBA lockout which threatens another season for Lebron James without an NBA title. Come on both the owners and the players stop making a mockery of all us untalented and/or poor humans who care about your damn teams and sport.

Ozzy: Or in other words lockouts are bad and issues should be resolved without effecting the sport. That is it for this edition of four men sporting diaries next time we will have our only women expert with us apart from also our most sensible and my favorite expert Lord Michael Stevens. I know I promised we will have all our four experts together but relax people I'm trying to find someplace big enough for five people to fit in till then read on whatever you can get it is free after all.

Ma ' A As-Salaama

First Edition: Racing Deaths

2011-10-26T16:43:00.000-07:00

Ozzy: Finally we are having the first edition of four men sporting diaries and I'm sure you have heard pretty much enough from me till now so lets just start with Johnny Blake our racing expert and some pretty sad happenings from motor racing world.

Johnny Blake: Yeah a really depressing start we have here with two racing deaths in the last two weeks first in the Indy Car World Championship of Dan Wheldon and then Marco Simoncelli's death in 2011 Malaysian Grand Prix. Events like these remind us that though these sports are exciting the cost of keeping these going is still too much because nothing is worth the price of a human life. It doesn't matter what they did or didn't do in their sporting career what matters is two more lives were lost for our entertainment and you have to question yourself where to put a line when it comes to driver safety

Ozzy: That was well said and though we had planned a long, fun and humorous first edition for you all with the other three experts participating too, I think nothing matters when even a single person loses his life. Nothing is more important and precious than a human life and we will end this edition on this sombre note praying for the two deceased and hoping such terrible events don't occur in future.

Ciao

Marco Simoncelli
1987-2011

Four Men Sporting Diaries Introduction

2011-10-22T14:29:00.000-07:00

Getting tired of sport news, experts and their opinions which sound too familiar and rehashed every time you hear them now. I am too but first before providing a solution, the question is who am I? I am Osaid Ahmad and you can call me Ozzy cos well the name is difficult to pronounce even for me (thanks mum dad) and I am a sports fanatic just like you who would like to know about everything happening in the sports world but in a way more colorful, enjoyable and most importantly different then other sites that deal with sports. So I went ahead and contacted four personnel I thought could spice up this blog with their round table discussions for better or for worse. Sounds a terrible idea getting them together they are no experts hell they might be downright wrong in their analysis, racist and a lot of other bad things that make me downright uncomfortable handling this blog. In fact to tell you the truth I didn't even wanted to do this with them but then again nor did anyone else in the world so I got stuck with conducting these sessions with The Four (yeah I'm going to call them that for now). Still what's started must be completed or at least be given a chance so let me introduce our four panel of experts (Yes, we call them experts for the sake of their egos). I will try that a war doesn't break out in our discussions and also updates are regularly posted on this blog while our four experts will give you updates about sporting events, opinions, analysis and betting tips (seriously don't trust them on that). We will bring in other random people just for the sake of it branding them as an expert from time to time so that you get variety of people giving you all the information you want about ALL THE SPORTS IN THE WORLD. So we have our The Four so let me just introduce them now before fearing the worse you close this page (and umm... I'll appreciate if they are not told about these biographies):

1. Johnny Blake

Johnny Blake has to be the most likable of all the four experts and that's why I'm introducing him first. Despite his dreadful IQ he is thankfully someone with a good sense of humor and a laid back attitude. With the other three intense, informative and enlightening experts (read crazy, dangerous and unstable) going on with their high levels of critical and rational discussion scrutinizing every issue we needed some who could make sense of all of that. We are not sure he can but its the best we could do and soooo.... we have Johnny though not much of an expert he is passionate about cars and racing. He also claims to have spent most of his life in the USA and also apparently has studied at Harvard (personal inquiries conducted by me revealed no records of his presence ever there). Anyways due to all the absurd facts above Johnny is our expert on all racing and American sports (NBA, MLB, NFL, NHL etc.).

2. Lord Michael Stevens

Lord Michael Stevens or LMS as we call him is the smartest person in The Four. In fact he is even more smarter then me and well most of you who are reading this post. LMS is the only slightly appropriate person we could persuade to do this blog, most of the other reasonable personnel didn't find our high pay and excellent working conditions appropriate for their stature. I hope he will help keeping this blog intact and help it survive anything that our other experts come up with. LMS is our Golf, Tennis and Athletics expert and if he had agreed I would have had him as the only expert for all the other sports as well.

3. Isabelle Leroy

Isabelle is not much of an expert or even much of a fan of sports as much as she is fan of sport personalities ranging from men to women. Women to copy and men to admire she doesn't bother about the actual sports that much. That would make her like all the women in the world right? Yeah but unfortunately she takes her obsessions to a whole new level sleeping with a human sized cardboard cutting of the sport personality she is obsessed with. And even that is not the worse part cos she has a new favorite almost every week. At least taking advantage of that whoever Isabelle is obsessed with will be our sporting hero of the day. But stay beware of her weird stories and strange encounters like once she said... well you will get to know soon what we are talking about here. Isabelle will mostly handle cricket and rugby as an expert. However she also is our expert for all the other less known sports in the world whenever something noteworthy happens in them and the only reason for appointing her to do that is because she volunteered and we were too lazy to find other experts.

4. Andrey Gorbachev

Well I tried to lie but can't, this guy is horrible and I absolutely hate him. He has gotten into this column by threatening to sue me for my biased approach of not hiring guys with the surname of Gorbachev and a first name Andrey and as he was the only man to have that quality in the world I got stuck with him. He always supports the team on top so don't be surprised if one week he is supporting Manchester United and the other Chelsea or Barcelona or Real Madrid. Folks no regrets in saying the truth I have saved the worse for last and he also says that he is the last living descendant of some long forgotten Russian monarch which was supposed to rule the world till infinity (thank God for their destruction but hey you missed one here). Arrogant, Selfish, Biased, Racist, Sexist and a Cute Power Hungry maniac he is but that doesn't make any difference and his Royal Highness The Last Prince of the World Ruling Empire Andrey Gorbachev (he insists we call him that) is our football expert. Speaking of which his knowledge about that sport is thankfully quite good even impressive at times. Also when I talk about football for my American readers I am talking about SOCCER which is actually called football and not american football that is supposed to be called rugby. So Soccer is football and football is rugby and rugby is... WTF i was talking about here. Yeah I'm done with the Prince.

Static One

Static one is a pc... Yes! a Personal Computer which stores our great library of sporting stats and is only useful to give random stats at random times whenever its weird wiring finds it appropriate and we decided to add them in the blog exactly like that whenever it comes up with one so don't be surprised when you get Static One alerts in this blog.

Finally you all are left with me and i'm stuck with this group to somehow develop and keep this blog going and make sure it keeps making sense. That is just my fancy way of saying that I'm their bellboy. I'm not sure if this blog will be weekly or twice a week or thrice a week or maybe even everyday updated with sporting updates and discussions by our experts. Mostly that is because they can't stop fighting and agree on a single format. But don't worry as soon as i sort it I will post that for everyone's benefit. Till then wait for the first meeting of The Four and what goes in there.

Adios