Four Star Football

Two Dogs, Whaddaya Think?

2012-09-18T21:33:00.005-05:00

One of the dangerous traps into which I repeatedly fall in trying to handicap these games is that I take a liking to (or have an ongoing grudge against) certain teams and unwittingly transfer my biases to the analyses. It's a pretty serious sin, and it frequently is a costly one.

Dick Motta is the shortest, though maybe
not the palest guy in this photo. There were
some great players on this team: #2 is
Stormin' Norman Van Lier, who was an
absolute joy to watch, #8 is Bob Weiss,
aka "Mr Shifty from Mt Nifty", a nickname
that didn't stick, that I mistakenly
thought had been bestowed by the great
old gasbag announcer Red Rush.
Upon further review, I found that Red was
never a Bulls announcer. #14 is Cliff
Ray, a very talented but smallish center,
#20 is Dennis Gentry, a very talented but
very pale center, #25 is the great great
Chet Walker, and the giant who is
inexplicably in street clothes is the great
Bulls center of the era, Tom Boerwinkle.
Back to Wesley "Red" Rush, he was
the voice of DePaul basketball games
during the times when a big sponsor was
Gonella Bread Company, giving rise to
more Red Rush-isms, e.g. to
celebrate a home team score "it's swella,
fella, just like Gonella Bread!!!". Another
exclamation, in describing a dunk: "he
stuffed it home, just like putting a loaf of
Gonella Bread in the shopping cart!!!"
The games were played in the long gone
Alumni Hall, and Red sat at a folding
table about halfway up the bleachers,
no sidekick, no relief man, just him
and a loaf of Gonella Bread, pouring
a ton of enthusiasm into every play.
What's this have to do with football?
Nothing, but it's swella, fella.

So as I sat around this evening watching the White Sox try to move a little closer to a division title, I tried to disregard the emotions, this while looking for a couple of likely dogs to pair up to get a decent payday. I think I've found them. My pair is the Rodney Dangerfield no respect Memphis Tigers (+23 @ Duke) and the Fresno State Bulldogs (+5 1/2 @ Tulsa).

I'm going with Memphis because I don't think that Duke should give 23 points to anybody. Memphis isn't very good, but I don't think Duke is that much better. Memphis is 0-3, 1-2 ATS. The spread began at 24 and fell off 1, so there's some folks who agree with me.

Fresno State is 2-1, 3-0 ATS. After a cupcake opener with Weber State (where Dick Motta made his mark before becoming the coach of the tenacious old Chicago Bulls, 1968-1977), Fresno State hung with the mui bueno Oregeon Ducks before losing 42-25 in week 2, then beat the snot out Colorado 69-14 last week. I'm betting that the week 3 team shows up against Tulsa.

The Sox just finished off the Royals, reducing their magic number to 13. It's all good!

Two Gun Rides Again

2012-09-17T08:49:00.000-05:00

The forces of evil were vanquished
by our own Two Gun.

We're three weeks into the season already and tales of the unforseen and unexpected are running rampant across the college football landscape. USC has been unmasked and taken a bit of our cash with them as they've drifted off course. The Big Ten is adrift at the mercy of the winds of mediocrity. Alabama's biggest threat appears to be complancency. The stories abound, and the storylines are being redefined every game.

Big weekend coming up!

The Drought Continues, The Drought is Broken

2012-09-15T09:48:00.005-05:00

I opened week 3 with a sweet (I thought) 3 event parlay that began with USF and Rutgers. Checking the book balance this morning, I found a $$$ disparity that caused me to go back to Thursday's results. Nobody ever shed a tear for dear old Rutgers upset my apple cart as the state university of New Jersey thumped the USF Bulls. That was the tip of the parlay iceberg.

Another loss. Insert heavy sigh here.

It's game day. Parlay game day. More to come!

PS: in an effort to reprogram my mojo, I have shelved the 4 star format for this weekend and headed off to parlay land. Last weekend, I had an 8 event parlay that had a 50:1 return. That ship sank with the first event : Iowa and Iowa State in an over. They combined for 15 points all day and my dreams of glory were quashed.

No more quashing, thank you.
________________________________

Live! from the student section
at the pep rally.

First parlay of the day fails, thank you VATech. I had a five favorites line-up. NIU, Ohio State, Minnesota and Oklahoma State all fell in place. VATech spoiled it as they were manhandled by the previously placid Pitt Panthers.
_________________________________
I'm tired. Just finished the pep rally here at the mansion before the NU vs BC game. It's quite a spectacle of game day enthusiasm. I run around the rec room with the purple flag while our cat sits in the student section of the couch and cheers.
_________________________________
Man oh man did a pick up a turd...I took Navy +7 at Penn State and paired that with NU & BC over 54 1/2. PSU pounded the Navy and NU & BC scored 35. The drought continues.
_________________________________
Parlay Pete, pre-eminent prognosticator!!! FSU romped and Louisville survived by a whisker as Two Gun Pete picked a parlay winner. The drought is over!!!
_________________________________
Next: a loss on a complex 4 stage parlay that failed courtesy of ND and Sparty playing lots of defense and not so much offense. They didn't get halfway to the over I picked. To finish off the night, I banked some much needed wagering dinero when a 5 fave parlay on the late games paid off. Amen and hallelujah, we have some money for next week!

Pete's Power Parlay

2012-09-13T08:13:00.000-05:00

The Prince of Parlays says:

LOUISVILLE -4

FLA ST -27

I watched Teddy Bridgewater wreck an SEC team at home. The blocking from his OL showed me that they want this kid in the Heisman hunt. He's a great dual threat QB. Two games--he was pulled 5 minutes into the 3rd quarter after 4 TD drives each game. Great coach in Charlie Strong, 3rd year at Louisville, now has the programe back, plus---Cardinals 6-1 over BCS non-Big EAst teams. North Carolina probations plus sanctions, black listed no bowls for 2 years--perfect rout game for Bridgewater to showcase himself.

Florida State defense: no points allowed in 8 quarters. Love the way Jimbo Fisher brought in a new defensive coordinator to show the kids he wasn't satisfied even though they were #4 nationally last year! Get better for the coach! The Seminoles, with war chants loud in their ears are unbeatable at Tallahassee, best defensive line in the country. Wake's QB is in for a sack ful of sacks-sacks-sacks.

SR QB for Florida State EJ Manuel going in is 7 games in a row without throwing an interception.

FLA STATE ONE OF MY DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH TEAMS OF 2012 There it is. From the sagacious one himself.

Promises

2012-09-12T20:20:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow: the return of Parlay Pete!

Just in time, too, 'cause I am getting no good vibrations. Must be shell shock from last weekend.

Shmeeeeered

2012-09-09T08:18:00.002-05:00

Worst wagering weekend ever.

****LOSE
USC is not a super power. They beat Syracuse, but no blowout here.
*** LOSE
Northwestern played 4 quarters in beating Vandy
** LOSE
Arkansas State, a 23 point fave, beat lowly Memphis by 5.
* LOSE
LA Monroe, a 30 1/5 point dog, beat the Razorbacks at home. Wow! LOSE

No excuses. I had two other picks, a prop and a long shot 8 part parlay, and those both dumped, too.

This is a hobby. If it's your job (as in "coach"), it may have been a nightmare Saturday.
- Ohio State won but failed to impress vs UCF
- Maryland awoke and beat Temple.
- Penn State lost again as their kicker missed 4 FG's. That's a tough Saturday.
- Auburn became a little less important again, losing to Ms State
- Hey U! That was K State driving that truck! 52-13!
- So Carolina's backup QB led them to 48 points vs No Carolina
- ND barely beat Purdue. Who's that good, and who's a pretender?
- Air Force hung with Michigan. Same question as above.
- Iowa still stinks.
- Rice was an 11 point dog and a 1 point victor.
- USF ended Nevada's magical season after one week.
- Beavers over Badgers. Wisconsin is the Peggy Lee team this year.
- Toledo beat Wyoming. File for future use.
- The Zips went to OT @ FL Intl before they succumbed, but they beat the spread!
- Bob Davie's New Mexico honeymoon ended, 45-0, at Texas.
- Illinois. Blech.
- OK St scored 38. Nice, except when AZ hangs 59 on 'em. Yikes!

We had a wonderful Saturday night, Mimsy and I, up in Evanston experiencing Chicago's Big 10 Team. Big crowd, great atmosphere, big win (though I bet against them) and best of all, we left just before the rainstorm hit.

As for the betting...some days chicken, some days feathers, as they say.

Munchie Legaux

2012-09-07T07:53:00.000-05:00

Just another excuse to say
Munchie Legaux.

6 feet 5, 200 pounds, hailing from New Orleans, Louisiana, welcome back...Munchie Legaux!

Munchie and the Cincinatti Bearcats beat up Pitt 34-10 last night.

It's fun to say "Munchie Legaux".

One more time, all together: Munchie Legaux.

See?

Joe South

2012-09-06T08:28:00.002-05:00

One of my old favorite obscure perfomers, Joe South, passed away yesterday at age 72. Joe had some hits as a performer, a few more as a writer (Rose Garden was one of his songs) and a somewhat stormy life.

Who doesn't?

Here's my favorite Joe South song. I think the mood fits the moment.

r.i.p.

Life in the Fast Lane

2012-09-05T00:12:00.001-05:00

Opening week was not happiness, not by any stretch of the imagination. I wasn't heartbroken about the Illinois v W.Michigan loss, as the MAC can run hot and cold and I hit a cold one. I was, on the other hand, distraught at least and dismayed for sure at the letdown by the USC Trojans and their smug head man, Lane Kiffin.

I'm not a Lane Kiffin fan, based on the way he ran out on Tennessee. I am, however, absolutely comfortable about making money from the work of the guy whose hand is guiding what may be the top team in college football this year. USC got off to a smokin' fast start with a 75 yard TD on its first play from scrimmage. They gradually became less interested as the game went on in continuing to beat on Hawaii, and that made perfect sense. However, when USC went for 2 two points and failed on three consecutive PAT's, my day was destined for too much stress.

I don't know why he tried three times for the two. I'm still sold on the idea that this is going to be a USC year, so I'm reloading on Kiffin.

**** USC -26 1/2 @ Syracuse
The Trojans are very strong, no secret there. Syracuse lost a one pointer to Northwestern at home last week. The game would have been a blowout for Northwestern if it weren't for their pathetic defense. Put the USC DB's out there last week and there would have been a half dozen picks. Put the USC D-line out there and the Syracuse QB is running for his life. USC isn't going to look like Northwestern, and it's going to be carnage in the big sauna that is the Carrier Dome. I am simply amazed that they skipped air conditioning, and in a building named for Carrier...seemed ironic cute at the time maybe.

*** Vanderbilt -3 @ Northwestern
Vandy is for real. The Commodores came up just a little short against South Carolina last week, and Northwestern isn't as good as SC. There was a mistaken no-call on the South Carolina pass defense that would have given Vanderbilt an advantage. I'm not suggesting it would have turned the game around, although the game did change when SC's quarterback was injured in the early going, compromising his effectiveness for the balance of the contest. I expect the Commodores to exploit the NU defense and NU to blaze away at Vandy in a shootout. I'll be at this one with Mimsy cheering on the 'Cats, but my money will be on Vanderbilt.

** Memphis @ Arkansas State -23
Arkansas State lost last week to Oregon. Memphis lost to the University of Tennessee-Martin. Seems to me that Arkansas State at home will want to put on a show. Memphis will want to get home. This one will be a rout, too.

These are Razorbacks, or feral hogs. There is
an old horror move called Razorback. The
Razorback mascot is called Tusk. The battle
call of the U of Arkansas is "woo pig sooie".
That concludes today's swine facts.

* Louisiana Monroe @ Arkansas -30 1/2

Arkansas is one of the teams to watch all year for a couple of reasons. Lots of talent, occasionally stunning performances, and an interim coach succeeding the dopiest guy imaginable, the deposed Bobby Petrino. Louisiana Monroe is visiting the Razorbacks in another example of payday scheduling. The Razorbacks will put on a show to please the home folks and send a message to the world that there's a big show playing in Fayetteville.

They What?

2012-09-03T09:00:00.000-05:00

=4: USC Missed 3 PATs. Four star push. Ugh.
+3: Akron Zips, they're good dogs. Three star winner.
-2: W.Michigan and 9 1/2. Riiiiiight. Two star loser.
+1: Penn State lost and the game stayed under. One star winner.

Other game notes from this weekend:.
* Navy was a mess. ND had a party.
* Northwestern, blew a big lead at Syracuse. There is no air conditioning in the Carrier Dome. The temperature had climbed to 95 inside when the announcers stopped talking about it. NU's defense wasn't the only thing stinking in there.
* Ohio State took a little while to get warmed up, then they pounded MiamiO.
* North Carolina embarassed an FCS school named Elon. Silly.
* Florida State vs Murray State. Silly x 2.

Nothing to do with football.
Happy Labor Day!

* Marshall at WVa, the highest scoring opener in WVa history.
* Nebraska played...umm, Southern Miss. Very sparkly helmets.
* Iowa has one fast guy, NIU has many, and the sod in Soldier Field will be an unusable mess in a couple weeks. BTW, there are Four Football Ferentz's at Iowa: Dad is the head coach, the O-line coach is his son, another son is the starting center, and there's another son who's a freshman TE. Isn't that niiiiice...
* Miami waltzed with BC for a half, then whoooosh and they were gone.
* Nevada beat Cal, our usual early-in-the-season breadwinner.
* Wisconsin, yes, that was Northern Iowa that wouldn't go away.
* Cyclones blew by Golden Hurricanes. Sorry, couldn't resist.
* New Mexico, this is your football team with new head coach Bob Davie: a 45-6 lead at halftime, 66-21 the final.
* Maryland, this is your offense with offensive coordinator (former New Mexico head coach) Mike Locksley. 7-6 over William & Mary.
* Youngstown State beat Pitt at home. Six Pitt players were suspended for this game by the new head coach.
* Alabama. That's all that needs to be said about that one.

Three missed PATs...

Opening Night Winner

2012-08-30T21:18:00.000-05:00

One of our selections for this opening weekend, UCF and the Akron Zips, didn't fail to please...or pay.

*** Central Florida -23 1/2 @ Akron WIN
UCF scored early and often en route to putting up a 56-14 victory over our favorite underdog, the Akron Zips. It was 35-0 at the half, then the reserves came in. It's a fine start to our year, a three star winner.

A couple other teams made an impact on me inThursday night's games, though for different reasons. Minnesota, under coach Jerry Kill (the former guru of Northern Illinois), looked simply terrible against UNLV. They are going to get crushed in conference play if Thursday is a true representation of who they are. They have an athlete at QB, not a QB, and the athlete is not an elite player, though it's tough to tell how much was due to Minnesota's porous offensive line. . Their offense performs as if they met each other a few days ago and decided to improvise. UNLV was a perrrrfect opponent; they're just not very good. Things got entertaining at the end as the two had to go to OT to decide things.

BYU and Washington State showed that BYU is solid again and Mike Leach and WSU have a long way to go to achieve anything on offense. The game was rather polite. Might even say boring, as WSU was out of it pretty early, losing 30-6.

finally, while Steve Spurrier and SoCarolina beat Vandy, 17-13, they couldn't cover, due in part to Their QB playing most of the game with an injured arm. The Gamecocks are pretty good, but Vandy was pretty impressive. Keep an eye on them to make some noise as the season progresses.

We Start Today

2012-08-30T09:43:00.001-05:00

Loosen Up Your Arm, Honey

2012-08-29T00:12:00.000-05:00

Some enterprising individual has found a new way to engage the formerly disinterested spouses of football on tv addicts. I found these Koozballs in a store in Nashville during the recent southern sojourn to return the young squire to his institute of higher learning.

The concept is quite simple: you don't want to get up to go to the fridge, lest you risk missing a critical play or the latest Mayhem commercial, but that thirst of yours is reaching critical status. It would be wrong to call on your significant other to cater to your drink needs...but wait! Now she can simply insert a frosty can into this handy foam football in the kitchen and solve all the problems in the family room in the blink of an eye! With no more effort than your favorite QB would expend throwing a skinny post pattern on 2nd and nine, the QB of your heart can put 12 ounces of frosty refreshment into play at any time.

I offer a couple of words about things you're going to want to keep in mind here to avoid getting the skunk eye. First, be mindful of her welfare. You and your dear one will want to go out on the front lawn a half hour or so prior to kickoff so she can limber up before the game. You don't want her coming up with a sore arm. If she balks, tell her the Kennedys were famous for their football games on the lawn and you're just channeling upward mobility.

Second, you may want to consider wearing a helmet while you watch the game, lest she zing one into the side of your cranium to express her discontent with you, even though you were concerned about her enough to go through that pre-game workout session.

Stuff happens.

Vultures Make Me Nervous

2012-08-23T15:31:00.001-05:00

Today is a travel review, not our usual football theme. I would like to tell you about Cedar Key, Flahriddah. I spent yesterday there.

Mimsy and I have been to a lot of places in Florida over the years, and we have enjoyed pretty much every one of them. From St. Augustine down the coast to Daytona, New Smyrna, Ft. Lauderdale, Boca, Jupiter, Miami, the Keys, Alligator Alley, Lake Okeechobee, Cape Coral, Venice and every place up the coast to Homosassa, plus lots of places on the interior of the state. We have done the theme parks, the roadside attractions, all manner of fun touristy stuff...we've experienced a lot of Florida and loved it.

Up until yesterday, we hadn't been to the northwest coast, the area between the towns north of Clearwater and the panhandle. So, when I stumbled onto Cedar Key on a net search, I got pretty excited. Cedar Key is portrayed as a laid back, artsy village that offers good sea food, relaxation and a little bit of old Florida, sort of an off the path Key West. I love the idea of undiscovered gems.

The tariff for this was a 47 mile ride off the interstate. Less than an hour to go from the main highway to private paradise. I was pumped up! We had an extra day on our schedule, so this jaunt to Cedar Key was ideal. Leaving I-75 at Lake City, FL, we headed west. Hurricane Isaac was pushing big clouds our way and there was intermittent rain to go with the overcast. The GPS was programmed for Cedar Key. We drove through some raggedy areas with sparsely scattered residential units (being kind here), undeterred by the rather unattractive landscape. Some cattle ranches popped up along the way; that was a highlight in this endless forest-swamp-forest scenery. After about a half hour, my son noticed that the GPS was calculating our ETA at an hour to go. This was the first bit of foreshadowing that our adventure would be a little departure from our expectations. Still, we expected great things to come.

That's when we noticed that there were vultures everywhere along the road, big black vultures in the trees, watching as we rolled along. Creepy.

When we rolled into Cedar Key a loooonnnnng time later, we found not so much a paradise unaffected by time as much as a run down little town that seems to be stubbornly clinging to a promise. It's a combo ghost town-painted lady- fishing village. There's a few blocks of main streets, stacked up and leading to the shore where the main cafes, restaurants, bars and shops are situated. Crossing the bridge to that row of buildings, the first thing you see it a large, weathered restaurant building on piers over the water with a sign that permanently proclaims tongue-in-cheek "now serving breakfast". Ha! Must be a 'round the clock place, huh? When we got around to the other side, we found that it's abandoned. 'Round the clock empty.

Walking down the street, there's businesses on both sides, looking chicly tattered. Recall the foreshadowing here. Half of the places weren't open, with no indication of when they might be or might have been. Still, there was lots of promise in the appearance of the others, until we found that they were pretty much deserted. Mimsy picked one of the two restaurants that looked to be open and we went in for lunch.

It appeared she had chosen well: a big woody room on the second floor over a fun looking bar, with floor to ceiling windows looking out over the water, a friendly waitress and a broad, albeit pricey, menu. Cut to the chase: The priciest meal of the trip, pretty crappy food. We paid up and strolled the business area and found...nothing to do. We did find cats everywhere. Sullen, scrawny cats, staring defiantly at us and at each other, like the in-town counterparts of the highway vultures.

One of the freaky guardians of the streets of Cedar Key.

Next, we chose one of the two motels that our waitress had recommended, the Gulf Side. Back up yet again to the foreshadowing. The little place was brightly painted with a front yard on the water leading to a huge two level wooden fishing pier that extended over a hundred feet into the Gulf. Retro, that's the word I heard from the smiling woman at the check-in desk as she took the same amount of money I had paid for a sleek ultra-modern room the day before. It was a bit later that we found there were no stairs to the top level of the pier, just a hole in the middle where the stairs might have once been. So appropriate to this place...

If they tell you it's retro, leave at once.

When we fled the room early the next morning, an hour before daybreak, we had had quite enough of our tenement on the water. It was clean, I'll give it that credit. It was also tiny, teeny tiny claustrophobic small...and old, like it was held together by a hundred coats of paint, though none recent... and dangerous, as evidenced by the yelp from my son when he got an electrical shock through his computer that left a burn mark on his stomach. The air conditioner in the bedroom window droned on and on, giving its all, to no avail, as it was challenged beyond its ability by the gap under the front door. No lock on the bathroom door, but we're family, so overlook it. Two TV channels on an ancient little set. America's Funniest Videos with a reference to the 2009 season...maybe we are in the Twilight Zone?

All that aside, Mimsy and I were glad that we went. It's the journey sometimes, really it is, that's more important than the destination, and we took a giggle from this one that we can talk about.
It helps, too, that I'm writing this from the luxury of a really kickin' room on the 11th floor of the Westin overlooking Tampa Bay. No vultures!

WACky Moves and Holy Wars

2012-08-22T00:12:00.000-05:00

Quick little update, this one coming to you from the heart of Georgia, Macon.

Did you catch the news that the WAC is suggesting that 2012 may be its swan song because it likely won't have enough member schools after this year's departures.

Currently, this is the WAC:
Denver, Lousiana Tech, Idaho, New Mexico State, Seattle, Texas-Arlington, Texas-SanAntonio, Texas-San Marcos, and Utah State.

Leaving:
Lousiana Tech and Texas-SanAntonio to Conference USA
SanJose State and Utah State to Mountain West
Texas-Arlington and Texas-San Marcos to the Sun Belt.

I am overwhelmed with apathy, as were the 19 former members of the WAC, including some really big names, e.g Boise and TCU. It's like your high school girlfriend who broke up with you ends up as the Playboy centerfold and you're still working the drive thru window at Wendy's...and Wendy's just told you they're closing.

This is the logo of the Northwestern State Demon
of the Southland Conference. So these two very
Christian schools are joining the conference and
I see some holy wars coming on the gridiron.
Even so, I don't care.

On a related note, if you think you don't have enough of a crowd playing D1, Abilene Christian and Incarnate Word have announced that they're going D1. Abilene Christian has 4,600 students and is located in (fill in the blanks) _ _ _ _ _ _ _, TX. University of the Incarnate Word is located in Alamo Heights, TX (really) and has 8,500 students.

They're both heading for the Southland Conference. If you want to know who else is there, in the Southland, click here. It's not an elite list.

Maybe the WAC survivors should call the Southland?

Opening Weekend of College Football

2012-08-20T00:12:00.000-05:00

The first game of the season is just ten days away. Remember when you were a kid and there were "just" ten days until Christmas? That's how this feels right now. It's time--almost--to start procrastinating on chores and scheduling shopping around kickoff times. Marching bands, cheerleaders, tailgating, it is the greatest atmosphere in sports.

As Two Gun Pete's favorite TV announcer (baseball) likes to say, "It's all good!".

Speaking of my partner, Two Gun, it's been 10 years now that we have been throwing darts at these games. Over those years, we've made a lot of money (not so much last year, blech) and I've learned a few things about ol' Two Gun, one of the most prominent being that he is uncomfortable placing wagers on teams from the MAC. I use the word uncomfortable here as an understatement, like saying that the Cub have been a little below average this summer. Two Gun's affinity for the MAC is somewhat akin to my feeling for Obama. Just the thought elevates the blood pressure and begins to elicit mumbling and low cursing. Even so, we've made some money on the MAC, and I'm hoping we'll do that this opening weekend.

Before we get down to business, here's another MAC, just for my partner.

* Ohio Bobcats @ Penn State UNDER 43
Saturday, September 1 @ 11:00 a.m.
When we last saw the Ohio Bobcats, they had just finished blowing a huge halftime lead and lost the MAC title game to Northern Illinois.   They will be the first guest in UnHappy Valley to launch the post-Joe era of Penn State football. Make no mistake, this is going to be a highly emotional day, as the loyal fans of PSU will come out in their usual huge numbers to begin the transition of the football program. Unfortunately, the team has been decimated by transfers as 9 players took advantage of the NCAA's decision to free them from their commitments to PSU. Some big name players were among those to depart, but there's quite a bit of talent still there. What I'm expecting is that the PSU defense is going to keep Ohio rather subdued, and the PSU offense is going to be hobbled by the departure of the QB and the stud running back. I see the two teams toiling away on a pretty even level without a lot of scoring.

** Western Michigan +9 1/2 @ Illinois
Saturday, September 1 @ 11:00 a.m.
Illini fans are howling at the thought of this, picking the Broncos to stay within striking distance of the Illini. WMU plays well against the Big 10, and they have an experienced, returning quarterback who can put up numbers. The Illini are a mystery. They have a new coach (Tim Beckman, from Toledo of -- guess who -- the MAC), a returning QB, and a lot of key guys gone from a sometimes exciting offense, and a lot of unknowns. I see another year of indifference from the fans down in Champaign, and it's going to begin with WMU giving the Illini all they can handle on the opening weekend.

*** Central Florida -23 1/2 @ Akron
Thursday, August 30 @ 6:00 p.m.
This one looks very appetizing to me. George Leary is in his 9th year at CFU, his team is facing sanction, there are 19 starters returning, and they have a chip on their shoulders from a very disappointing 2011 season. There's more motivation for this group, as they will be leaving Conference USA at the end of this season to become part of the Big East.  While schedules are made years in advance, this one looks to be tailor made for getting things started right : they're traveling from warm Florida to the warm midwest (beware Florida teams in the north early in the season while it's still warm!) to take on the punching bag that is the Akron Zips. The Zips are bad. They have a new coach and their sites set on improving an awful program, but week one is going to be a track meet, and CFU is going to win going away.

**** Hawaii @ USC -39
Saturday, September 1 @ 6:30 p.m.
I lamented (yes, Two Gun, from time to time I lament) the departure of Pete Carroll from USC, I further lamented the arrival Lane Kiffin, and I reveled in the sanctions against USC from the Reggie Bush scandal--though it was sort an open air market kind of scandal, where the only surprise was how long it took to uncover everything. Well, friends, USC is off their bowl suspension this year, they have a boatload of talent (including the newly arrived ex-Penn State Silas Redd at running back to bolster an already strong running attack), a very talented and experience quarterback, and a mission. The mission is make it very clear to the world that USC is back and intends to be playing for big stakes in January.   This game is at home, so there's no distraction of traveling to Hawaii. How does a Lane Kiffin make a statement that 2012 is going to be a very USC year? By beating the visitors from the island senseless.  39 is a lot of points. Too bad for Hawaii, as I'm looking for Kiffin to begin making Kiffin Covers the replacement for Carrol Covers.

So opening week has 3 MACs and a giant four star spread. It's all good!

I'm going to toss up a parley for opening weekend after I consult with the oracle, assuming that my MAC bets haven't caused a meltdown for Two Gun.

Hop On the Bus, Gus--er, Tyrann

2012-08-13T00:12:00.000-05:00

The first big screw up of the new season is awarded to Tyrann Mathieu, defensive back and student/athlete (wink wink) at LSU. The other day, Tyrann was dismissed from the LSU football team for a violation of team rules. Some of the observers of the college football scene have asserted that it was multiple failures of drug tests that brought the dismissal.

We may never know...did he select McNeese
because he likes the way he looks in gold and
purple headgear?
CORRECTION: royal blue and cornflower gold.

Next step for Mathieu was to pick up the phone and call the good people over at McNeese State to determine if he might have the opportunity to continue his college education at that fine institution. I thought that McNeese might have been the choice because of expertise in Mathieu's chosen field of study. As it turns out, it seems to be their status as a Division II football program that is apparently the most alluring. By transferring to a D-II program, Tyrann doesn't have to sit out a year.

At this point, I invite you to express your own feelings of shock, disbelief, dismay and/or outrage. As for me...meh. Somebody will still give him a big payday in the spring.

Then he will be their problem.

LINK TO STORY UPDATE HERE

Top 100 College Football

2012-08-11T11:51:00.003-05:00

Today, I offer you a bonus post: a link to the 100 Reasons You Should Watch College Football More Than the NFL.

Click HERE to enjoy!

New and Pre-driven Faces, New Places

2012-08-10T00:12:00.000-05:00

As the teams begin their preparation for this year's chase for the championship, we have a lot of new hands on the respective tillers of many of the major football programs. In plain English, there's a lot of new head coaches out there.

Most are the used car version of new coaches, that is, they have some mileage on them, but they're new to wherever they are now.

There are 124 Division I college football programs. 27 of those have new coaches for the 2012 season. That is 22 percent, and that is one heck of an attrition rate. If you want to peruse the entire list, click here. I'll stick to the highlights.

The big departure is Joe Paterno, out at Penn State, in at hell. Out of the hell that is New Mexico State is Mike Locksley, who couldn't beat anybody. He is being replaced by none other than former ND coach and ESPN announcer Bob Davie, whom I will miss more as an announcer than I will appreciate as a coach.

A couple of our faves have exited since last season. Another old fellow who left (his job, not the planet) is the venerable Howard Schnellenberger, departed from Florida Atlantic. Nobody ever shed a tear for dear old Rutgers lost highly successful Greg Schiano to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

Controversial coaches who've re-arrived include Mike Leach at Washington State and Urban "No Soul" Meyer at Ohio State. Rich Rodriguez follows his not so wonderful tenure at Michigan by assuming the top job at Arizona.

Farewell to Ron Zook at Illinois, replaced by Tim Beckman, ex of the Toledo Rockets of the Mighty MAC. Adios too to Bobby Petrino, who crashed the motorcycle he was riding while a grad assistant --whom he was also riding, though not at the time-- was perched on the back, term'd at Arkansas.

Rick Neuheisel finally ran out of runway at UCLA. He is being replaced by Jim Mora, whose father, Jim Mora (pictured above), became famous as a coach when they used his post game comments in a beer commercial. Coach Jim the dad was eventually sacked, too, but that's not news anymore, though I was momentarily confused as to why UCLA would bring in a 77 year old to coach. Howard Schnellenger just became unemployed at age 78, by the way, and Joe Paterno was 86 at the time of his passing, so it wasn't completely implausible. Just "mostly implausible".

I have an idea for a new wager for next season, a variation on The Dead Pool, using D1 football coaches losing their jobs. Wanna play?

It's Back to School Time

2012-08-06T00:12:00.000-05:00

It has been months, seven months, since I sat and pondered putting money down on a football game. A lot of newsworthy events have transpired in the world of college football since then. Very little of the news has been good.

The No Paterno statue at Penn State.

The biggest news has been the fall of Penn State. Joe Paterno's arrogance enabled Jerry Sandusky to run rampant as a sexual predator. The university can pay the $60 million in fines out of petty cash. The football program has been penalized. The shame that the university has brought down upon itself is incalculable. The whole sordid mess illustrates the danger of allowing the game to become too big for the people who run it.

It is amazing that as the 2012 season begins, the football programs of two of the biggest schools in the Big Ten, Penn State and Ohio State, are operating under sanctions.

If I'm the SEC, I'm happy the Big Ten is around to make me look good.

With a Bang AND a Whimper

2012-01-10T07:54:00.001-06:00

Excuses first. I was about to push the button on "under" for yesterday, when it occurred to me that it was just not enough to make a payday. I wanted to root for somebody, and I thought LSU was going to win this one.

From the first series, it became increasingly clear that the Alabama boys were going to have none of that. How long did you stick around? I went to bed at 15-0. 'Bama's defense was very good last night. With the assistance of the new LSU Keystone Kops playbook, the Alabama defense was resoundingly dominant.

The magnitude of LSU's offensive futility was mirrored in the grimaces of the LSU QB, Jordan Jefferson, who orchestrated the crescendo of this dreadful performance rather prematurely when he flipped an underhand pass into the arms of an astonished red shirted defender. The intended receiver had turned around to block as Jefferson came thundering toward him. The guy missed the block,too, so it was all a proper mess.

While it is the Alabama defense who are rightfully basking in the glow on the morning after, give some credit to their counterparts at LSU. The Tigers' defense performed admirably all night long, finally surrendering a TD after I'd headed off to sleep.

The statistics of this rout are available for your viewing pleasure here.

This was my shot at finishing the bowl season at .500, and it didn't happen. Oh, well.

Next? The wall that I'm patching in the basement will get finished, and the bedroom and the dining room may get painted as planned. Mimsy will begin her annual American Idol ritual, so I need to find something to do. Anything else to do!

Hail the champions: Alabama.

Dut-dah-da-daaahhhhhh!

2012-01-09T08:21:00.005-06:00

That's my text representation of the blare of royal horns. Try it again now if you didn't get it the first time.

There's not a lot for me to say about tonight's game that someone else somewhere hasn't already said, is currently saying or will be saying shortly on TV, on the radio, on websites, blogs and in the surviving newspapers. I'll post some thoughts and a choice later; as for now, I am leaning LSU. My son is walking around challenging me with "roll Tide". My spouse is smiling because there will be something other than football on the big screen after tonight.

I am preparing for withdrawal. When do we start again?

UPDATE I : I bought LSU +2 1/2 at 7:24 p.m.
UPDATE II : it's halfway through Q3 and LSU's offense is still MIA.
UPDATE III : Missed! 4 field goals it all they have to show so far. Screen passes ain't a gonna gitterdone, Lester. Tide is a rollin'.
UPDATE IV : Lester! You watchin' this? We need somebody else at quarterback, hear?

MAC v Sun Belt in the Penultimate Bowl

2012-01-08T14:20:00.002-06:00

Mobile in January! Not too bad: a high of 70 today and a low of 58 tonight, with some showers in the forecast.

The last game before the game that everybody's been waiting for.

Two Gun's despised MAC vs the darlings of the season for our earnings, the Arkansas State Red Wolves.

Intrigue! Arkansas State's coach, Hugh Freeze, did a ~~Wanny~~ Graham on them and bolted for Mississippi. Hugh, btw, was coaching at Lambuth University in Jackson, Tennessee, just a few years ago (2009) and has leveraged that to one of the big jobs to be had anywhere, Ole Miss. Lambuth has leveraged itself, too, sort of. This past summer, they were sold to the University of Breathe for Me Elvis Memphis and became a campus of that school.

Mr. GunN, I know how little enjoyment you glean from the MAC, and I know you've enjoyed the Red Wolves this year. Despite that, I have made two wagers on tonight's game.

The NIU Huskies to score over 31 1/2.

The NIU Huskies to win, straight up. The give/get is only a point, anyway. The big reason is the Freeze Out. How do those kids, playing at high-high-high levels all year long, crank it up tonight when the coach has packed up the old carpet bag and droove on down the road (droove is a multi use past tense of to drive, from the Richard Petty school of American English, e.g. "he droove it inta the corner real hawrd an she just let go and he put 'er in the fayunce").

It's NIU tonight, Mac...

UPDATE I : the young man who kicks field goals for NIU has missed twice. At this point (3:36 to go in Q3) those points would have been 31 and 34---dingdingdingdingding--that was the "over 31 1/2" alarm sounding. It has been fun thus far, shank you very much.
UPDATE II : the final was 38 skate donate to 20. A pair of "w"s to put a little sugar on the season.

'Cause it's fun to say "Birmingham"

2012-01-07T11:22:00.002-06:00

I think it is, anyway. It sounds rather dignified, "Birmingham" as it rolls off the tongue. In the world of college bowl games, espousing dignity may be the best this game can strive for.

The combatants are the University of Pittsburgh and Southern Methodist University. The mention of either conjures up no image of anything much, these days. Pitt was coached by Wanny, then he left last year, leaving his team to go to this very same bowl game without him, at which very same bowl game they did prevail.

Wanny's replacement, some guy whose name escapes me at the moment (the guy is Todd Graham, I looked it up), has "pulled a Wanny" and left the Pitt boys without their head coach for the second consecutive year, and for their second consecutive appearance in the fine BBVA or something Compass Bowl in this dignified sounding southern burg of Birmingham.

This is SMU's Gerald Ford Stadium, not the site of
today's game in Birmingham, which will be played
at Dignified Stadium (not really, I'm just too lazy
to look up the name of the stadium). Gerald Ford,
the individual after whom this stadium is named,
was NOT the President of the U.S. of A!!!
GOTCHA!
This is a different Gerald Ford (haha), a lad
who made a couple bales of money in his career
and decided to fork over a chunk to SMU to
build this nifty little playpen. I've pictured it
here because I like new stadiums, and this one,
at 32,000 seats, appears to be pretty much a
perfect place to June Jones' teams before he
packs up the old carpet bag and shuffles off
to his next duty station.

The opponent for this afternoon's match up is Southern Methodist University, coached by good old June Jones, he being formerly the headmaster of the football program at the University of Hawaii, as well as the former head coach of the Atlanta Falcons, and for a short time, the big guy for the San Diego Chargers. I also learned that June Jones was a college quarterback, and true to his itinerant nature, he performed for no less than three schools : Oregon, Hawaii and Portland State. Coach Jones was recently a candidate, along with Todd Graham, the chap whose name I had to look up, for the coaching job that was eventually bequeathed to the now former coach of Pittsburgh. The job for which they vied was at Arizona State, home of the Sun Devils, boo-yah.

So, after a short study period on this game, I became highly agitated that I was facing yet another bet in a series of bowl games at which I have displayed the success and accuracy rate of a chimp flinging shit at the zoo crowed, and was thus cowed by the realization that I'm not having fun doing this and my performance record is a very strong indication that neither am I competent in this area. Doing what any rational man would do, given a like set of circumstances, I made another wager.

So there.
UNDER 46

Friday Fun

2012-01-06T00:12:00.008-06:00

Cotton Bowl tonight.

The fields in the song are in Louisiana. This game is in Dallas. I just think a little Johnny Cash on a Friday will put you in a good mood.

#7 Arkansas and #11 Kansas State. I studied a bit an then decided to take a shot, see if these guys keep the offensive showcase going.

The game is no longer played at the Cotton Bowl Stadium. It is played at Cowboys Stadium. As I began to marshal an argument about the heresy of this, I found the following page. Click the link here, then click the seating chart on the destination page.

Pretty cool.
OVER 63 1/2

UPDATE I : End Q1, "only" 61 points to go.
UPDATE II : Halftime 28 points. That's a little better.
UPDATE III : End Q3. Gettin' a bit anxious here.
UPDATE IV : Not tonight...sigh...