Thoughts pass through moments at a rate of thousands of times each day. We can allow thoughts and feelings to flow through and begin to slow until we become more aware of our breathing and our senses. Thoughts and stress melt away as the moment magnifies through the five senses. I become aware of the smell of a fresh cup of coffee on my desk, the sound of the birds outside my window, the sight of the cat sleeping on the other side of the desk, the taste of the same coffee and the temperature of a warm spring afternoon. Gathered around a table and sharing a meal with friends creates a wonderful moment. The sound of the laughter of companionship, the sight of smiling people interacting with one another, the taste of the sandwich, the smell of cooked food, the feeling of the chair under me and the sense of relaxation and joy all combine to create a moment in time.

We can create special relaxing moments with sights, sounds, tastes, smells and feelings we place around us to provide meditative joy. A recording of relaxing music to listen to along with a lavender candle to smell, a mint on our tongue, the feel of comfortable clothing and a comfortable chair, while looking out a window or at a peaceful picture or spiritual icon, will stimulate all five senses into a pleasurable moment of meditation. There is also moving meditation like Tai Chi, Yoga, walking, swimming, hiking, dancing or any other pleasurable pastime which requires little to no conscious thought other than physical movement and momentary awareness. As we develop the ability to live in the moment we can transfer that consciousness into work, listening at meetings and other daily activities. The ability to live in each moment, letting go of the past and future, is a gift. That’s why they call it the “present”.

Creator, help me to relax out of the stresses of the future and the mistakes of the past and share as many peacefully healing moments as possible with You. A-ho

The notion of seeing auras or visions is common among natives. When the subject comes up everyone has a story to tell about themselves or a family member or friend who has had a similar experience. We also know that anyone who has the gift of visions, dreams or healing will do well to discuss these matters and take direction from an elder or spiritual director from their home community or extended Tribal family. Many of us who share an intimate relationship with Creation in the natural world believe the Creator sends spiritual teachings to us through the activities of various animals, elements, weather changes, plant life and other combined or single aspects of the wilderness.

Native healing ceremonies appeal to a single benevolent Creator for miraculous change to occur within the physical, mental and and/or spiritual diseases of our people. They are performed reverently and respectfully to the Great Spirit as we understand Him, by individuals who have spent lifetime learning from Tribal elders who follow the exact dictates of our ancestors. For these individuals who were called in early childhood to become visionary healers, the ceremonies are a science to which they devote many waking hours of study and prayer. The healing medicine does not exist within the practitioner, but rather comes through them from the Greatest Mystery of all time, our Creator as we understand Him.

The science of indigenous healing is the combination of a lifetime commitment along with the allowing of our common Creator to work though the practitioner whenever the need arises. The Creator provides the practitioner with the intuition to gather natural herbal medicines and work with ceremonial sacred objects and the natural environment to inspire the miraculous “accidents” of the supernatural.

We may be amused or flattered by the non-native aristocratic scientific communities around the world, who are continuously proving ancient indigenous truths. The science of indigenous healing is a journey of faith and trust in the natural pristine landscape of our sacred prayers and timeless, honored ceremonies and ancient culture.

Recovery offers the freedom to each of us of comprehending our Creator within the abilities and imagination of our own individual understanding. We may relate to the Power of the Universe as traditional indigenous peoples, Judaism, Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus or any other organized religion, non-organized spiritual path, as one Creator or many, male or female or both. The only advice is to find each in our own way, the ability to connect with the Spirit of Creation that can help solve the problems of addiction and all other living problems. That connection offers us valuable experiences and the fulfilment of hopes and dreams that extend far beyond our expectations and limited abilities as human beings. The spiritual process not only relieves us of the burden of chemical dependency but of co-dependency as well and every form of fear and resentment that can stand in the way of our fullest potential and usefulness as humans. Spiritual recovery is a journey of trust and forgiveness. It is ongoing throughout our lives and through the twelve steps, opens doorways to unimagined freedoms and peace of mind.

The many articles contained on this website and within the book, Eleventh Fire, are only the opinion of a single author and are in no way intended to cure sickness or represent any Tribal affiliation. They are just one reporters opinion. They are the result of a single successful journey into the adventures of a chemical-free lifestyle and the transformation from a seemingly hopeless state of body, mind and spirit into one of happy, joyous freedom.

It is the prayer of this author, that the reader enjoys some level of identification and inspiration within the words of this presentation. If just one reader finds the sacred fire of enthusiasm and hope anywhere within this manuscript, then these words have not been written in vain. Peace to all!

The Haudenosaunee are great storytellers. When family elders told stories, it was more entertaining than TV or movies because the stories were about family or animals we saw near our homes. They were about the real things in our lives. The characters were not the pretty men and women in the movies. They were people who looked more like us and were moved and fashioned by the same lifestyle we lived. As the years pass and we enter adulthood, many of the imaginings of childhood fade. Perhaps this is what causes aging and sickness. Have we become brittle and fragile through the losses of loved ones and the disappointments of our own shortcomings? This needn’t happen to us as long as we allow ourselves to wonder at the great mysteries and events of the earth and sky. It is like mystical therapy to allow ourselves to wonder. Wondering is transcendental. That means it brings us into a higher place of consciousness and internal biochemical healing of the body, mind and spirit. When we are wondering at the Granma moon we are relaxed and the systems of our bodies are naturally regulated just as they are in sleep and dream time, by our mid brain and immune systems. And so we have come to believe that our Granma moon is a healer. The moon is not for worship. It is for the healing practice of wonderment.

Granma moon deserves a bit of dialogue here and there, to remind us of the gentle love, creativity and forgiveness of womanhood. Granma is remembered as a gently powerful life-giver. She stands at the top of our genealogy as one of the oldest remembered relations of the clan or extended family. She is not the Creator of everything in the universe but she may have a more interactive relationship with the essence of life then we do as her descendants. Within her memory are the songs, smells, feelings and wisdom of a time we will never know as younger generations. She is our history. Every Granma is a weaver of the history of her family. We all have a Granma. We all have a family history, no matter who we are.

The notion of Granma moon is that we each find the strength of our own Granma as we gaze at the planetary moon above our earth. She is the entity that links us to our own unique story and culture. What do we each see in the presence of a full moon? Are we a proud or shameful people? Do we feel strong and confident? If we feel energized by the light of the Granma moon, then she becomes a cyclic recurrence of healing for us each month. Facing our history can be disturbing or enriching. If we allow gazing and wonderment to become the song of the moon, we will be strong and renewed. We may overcome the darker side of our history and enter into the mystical realm of our timeless ancestors.

Medicines that grow in gravely places treat illnesses that are associated with stone or gravel inside us like kidney stones or gallstones by removing harmful accumulations. Herbs that grow in wet or swampy ground treat respiratory problems and those that grow near fast moving water act as diuretics, clearing the urinary tract of harmful toxins and reducing water-weight. Learning to identify healing signatures throughout nature is one of the ways in which medicine people do their job. Even after gathering and blending various combinations of wild medicines there is still the element of experimentation because every individual is different and unique. Some people respond very well to herbal teas and others more favorably to aromatherapies. Healing comes in may forms and activities like ceremony, prayer, herbal medicines, physical exercise, meditation, learning new ways of thought, affirmations and life-style changes. Effective healing treats the whole person, physically, mentally and spiritually.

In the same way we treat addictions with meetings, the steps, sponsorship and spirituality, we can learn to heal many other afflictions. Withdrawal from alcohol can be soothed with skullcap and chamomile teas and lavender aroma to calm our jangling nerves unless we are taking prescription medication. The use of natural medicines should not be combined with pharmaceuticals unless under the supervision of a health care provider because natural medicines are very powerful and can interact badly with other substances. Any medicine whether it be herbal or allopathic, needs to be followed by close monitoring and observation by someone well versed in it’s use. Herbs are not the only “medicines” to be found in the wilderness. The systems of our bodies are also strongly affected by the powerful elements of the natural environment.

Spending time next to a river allows our mind and spirit to flow naturally into a relaxed state of freedom and peace. The sound and sight of moving river water releases a series of biochemical responses within us that also begin the clearing of toxic substances and emotional and physical clogs that cause stress and illness in our bodies. A few minutes of sunshine causes another release of biochemical reactions along the natural absorption of vitamin D and relaxation received through the skin and eyes. The bones and even afflictions of the inner ear and sinuses respond well to exposure to sunlight. It is unwise to spend more than twenty minutes in direct sunlight so we remember to honor moderation in response to all things of the natural world.

The winners in recovery are our best medicine. Their signature is the authentic smile and willingness to listen and help others. They share about the hope, spirituality and recovery that comes as the result of working the steps. Love, compassion and service are as natural a medicine as the herbs of the earth. They are powerful healers and their signatures are easy to spot. When we open ourselves to be of service in recovery we become the natural gifts of Creation that heal the sick and mend the wounds of brokenness in ourselves and one another.

Creator—Am I the creation of Your dreaming? If I am a component of Your dream, let me offer a comfortable space for Your imaginings to dream great things. Let my home welcome Your rest and creativity. Feel safe here. I invite You to feel the same intimacy I feel in the arms of perfect love. I invite You to taste the coffee and hear the rumbling purr of my cat. I invite You to the sunrise over the snowy mesas and the river songs of Beaver Creek. I invite You to the laughter of my Grandchildren and the culture of my homeland. You are welcome in my gratitude and my tears and to every passion of this physical life and beyond. Come dance in my dreams and be proud of my children.

I invite you oh Great Mystery of Creation, into the life of one small unremarkable woman way out here in Your Holy land. I also invite You to listen to the tiny whispered prayer of the newcomer at our meeting, that can barely be heard in the silence of the night. You are invited to hear that prayer for help and dream Your miraculous supernatural recovery into their life so we may share the joy of it together in the meeting, You and I. You are invited to my Springtime’s, Summers, Autumns and Winters. My prayer for you is that Your dream be something for which you will always be grateful and fulfilled. There is trouble throughout the world in the dreams of all people and if You dream as I imagine You do, let your dream be free of shame or regret. Let Your dreams bring strength and enthusiasm for a bright future and an exciting eternity.

I invite you to see Your amazing planet through my eyes. Witness the miracles of recovery after having walked through the fires of hell in our addictions. See the depth of the blue sky in Springtime and feel the chill of a winter morning when breath comes quickly while walking the mesa at sunrise creating the mist of life around my face. Notice the strong winter tundra, ever pushing upward in it’s green journey towards the sun. Feel my gratitude for every heartbeat that heals the past and quickens my future on the sacred land. Taste the herbal medicines that grow in abundance and give thanks for all things of Your extraordinary creation. Aho!

Moments are linked together by the choices we make as the result of the feelings we had from earlier moments or entire events or experiences. There are defining moments that can be life-changing. Those of us who have suffered from addictions realize the power of the defining moments of our past when we chose to change our feelings with alcohol or drugs or other forms of addiction. Addicts do this to stop the ordinary pain that comes from life on life’s terms. Facing our feelings for the first time can seem terrifying but we learn that there is nothing to fear from our feelings. It was not the things we feared, that were the problem. It was the fear itself that was the real demon of our darkness. So we stood still for just a moment and stared into our darkness. Then we learned to exhale and move slowly forward into the mystery that is the future.

I remember thinking it was God’ fault. God had made the parking lot icy that day. Just as I stepped out of my car, I slipped on the ice and fell so that half my body was underneath my parked car in front of Circle K. Had I gone unconscious or was I just stunned for a moment by the fall? Then the cops stood over me looking at me as I attempted to struggle from beneath the vehicle. They didn’t even try to help me up. I guessed they didn’t like me because I am Indian. Then I went to jail for nothing! The next morning I was picked up from jail by my Uncle who drove me to Riverside Detox. I knew what was ahead for me then. I was too weak to walk out. I was freezing and sweating at the same time and every part of my body, inside and out, was trembling. The delirium tremens had begun—the well-known DTs. I was kicking alcohol again! Belly cramps curled me into the familiar fetal position. Darkness and despair were overwhelming and I thought the morning would never come again. I left the bed and somehow got out of my stuffy room into the hallway where I sank to the floor back into the same position with my head buried between my knees and shaking hands clenched around my calves. I gave up on life and was swallowed up in the darkness of my agony.

Suddenly I heard a noise off in the distance that sounded like institutional silverware clicking on a tray. I remembered I was in the hospital sitting on the floor of a carpeted hallway in faded jeans, a baggy tee shirt and barefoot. I looked up through stringy strands of hair. I had survived the night. There was a small window at the end of the hallway that was maybe just one foot high and two feet wide at the very top of the wall. The sky was pink from the rising sun. I was still shaking but the cramping had stopped and I was hungry. Later I ate cold mush out of a green plastic hospital bowl with a large spoon. It was delicious. I had stared into the darkest night and was still sober at the rising of the sun and the sweet taste of my breakfast. Somewhere between the black horrors of the nighttime and the pink sunrise there had been a defining moment of comfort from somewhere of divine origin. My prayer had been nothing more pious than a deep despairing sob answered by some far-off benevolent compassion.

Mysticism is not veiled behind the intellectual robes of theology or reserved only for the scholarly quantum physician. It is right out in the open grasslands of the world for everyone to grasp. It is a defining moment when time stands still and the heart is full. It is hope and gratitude. Mysticism is for the poor and rich alike, the educated or illiterate, the sick and the strong. There are no boundaries standing in defense of the Divine and no words to describe it or shackles with which to confine it. Mysticism is for fun and for free. It is the ecstasy of a moment in time, grasp by the soul of creation and held by the trust of the human soul. Mysticism feels like a gently passionate life, well lived and celebrated.

Bear is the strongest and most courageous animal on the mountain but he is not without frailties. His roar can send other creatures running for cover but the sound of a small round bell is unfamiliar to him so he will be cautious and careful if he hears it. I was told by an elder that if I don’t want to be surprised by a bear in the wilderness, wear a little bell on my moccasins. The bear will keep his distance because he is not a fool in the face of the unfamiliar. He guards the pristine wilderness with respect and dignity for the life around him. He is after all, the great dreamer. True courage respects others. Courage does not respond with fight or flight. True courage also remains calm in the face of conflict. It’s a learned skill, unnatural to many of us when we are new to recovery. Our book reminds us that as the result of working the steps we become able to “meet calamity with serenity”. As our fears are over come by the development of spirituality within us we naturally grow more serene and secure.

Surrendering everything we thought we knew about how to protect ourselves from danger can make us feel vulnerable in the presence of a challenging and quickly changing world. Old thoughts and actions like quickness to anger and fighting seemed like a suitable armor against the world for many of us. For some of us, it was all we ever knew about taking care of ourselves. It may have served us well in the dark streets of addiction and crime but in time we learn that we are safe today within the loving care of an infinite Creator. It’s a new and exciting life when we learn to let things unfold instead of trying to make things happen our way. Living in harmony with the rhythms of the mother earth and our senses actually serve us much better that the constant struggles of our past.

As we develop our senses, we can smell the air, hear the natural world, see our environment, taste courage and feel the real presence of safety or danger. We may be inspired by our senses, to take a step backward or forward rather than strike out. And when we sense safety we become able to bask in the moment, listening to the sound of the wind or allowing the sun to warm us. We discover our courage makes us stronger and enables us to hear the whispers of nature and make the healing medicine of happy joyous freedom. Aho, Bear!

Our sober families had gathered here as an educational camp out for our kids. Teachers and elders had planned a full schedule of activities like nature walks where the kids learned to gather herbal medicines from the forest, weave baskets with reeds they gathered from the river and paint with dyes made from plants they harvested themselves. Someone had gotten a donation of full sized tee pees made from canvas and lodge poles, where we slept each night. We bathed in a river and cooked over open fires in a large deep pit lined with adobe, where storytelling lasted late into the evening. Everyone there was given work and some form of activity to teach the children about ancient lifestyle and ceremony, just as was done by the Tribes of yesteryear. I helped with food preparation and demonstrated with other dancers as the Creation stories were performed by the Bird Singers. The women slept in one huge tee pee and the men in another. Teachers shared other large tee pees with the children. The elders were given lodging inside a bunkhouse, the only building on the property.

The last night a few of us remained late by the fire, wrapped in blankets and sleeping bags to listen to the mystical tales of a couple of strong old storytellers. Hardwood was used on the fire to prevent sparks from causing a brush fire. The wind whipped loose long hair around our faces and we stared into the fire as though we were transported back in time a thousand years. At such events, mystical things often occur among the people and there is nothing quite as life-changing or intimately unforgettable as a weekend like this. Later inside the tee pees we were bundled separately and silently against the cold night in thick socks, sweatshirts, heavy blankets and bags. The wind howled fiercely through the treetops. Did I just hear the voice of my Grandma singing my name in the wind of the sacred faraway? Then a branch slammed into the side of the tee pee and the other women whom I thought were sleeping, jumped up as a flap of canvas broke loose from it’s tie, inviting an invasive Brother Wind to ravage the safety of our woman’s lodge in the wilderness. Jimmy C’s words came back to me as I wondered if we would have to run for cover. Later after we had secured the tie and laughed ourselves back into silence I allowed the whispers of the wind to share it’s powerful bedtime story with me. I awoke to a spectacular sober sunrise, the songs of birds and laughing children. What I keep in my heart to this day is the experience of my ancestors, an enthusiastic relationship with all things of the earth and my recovery, especially the songs, whisperings and lessons of Brother Wind.

Corn was vital to the life of our ancestors. It is an honorable privilege to grow the ancient garden of corn beans and squash—the three sisters who feed the people. Last year’s crop is long since harvested and the seeds are dry for replanting. Much is learned each year about the nurturing of the next seven generations. Was the crop healthy? What was right and what was wrong with the harvest? The farmer turns the ear of dry corn in her hand and looks carefully at each part of the ear. The kernels are shiny and fat with a variety of bright colors but the cob is short and without kernels near the ends. The compost was good but more will be added this year just before each full moon, to feed the plants throughout the long hot summer. More prayers will be said and sung, asking for direction from the wisdom of Creation. Four growing seasons in the new location have passed and harvests of sweet fruits, plump squash, fresh chilies, rich herbs and fresh eggs from the hen yard have fed the family well. There is still so much to learn about the corn and beans and how to help them to flourish here. There is always so much to learn.

As the seasons of planting and harvesting pass, various aspects of the earth are revealed. These aspects tell the humans how to live more abundantly in harmony with mother earth. Planting and harvesting food and medicines shows us where we are weak and strong—what we can live with and what we can live without. In recovery we plant the steps deep into our lifestyle and the harvested wisdom reveals much about the strengths and weakness of us. We learn to love more deeply, labor with less fear and commit ourselves to our present and future. We find that we are much stronger than we thought and more teachable than ever before. We are pliable in the strong and loving hands of our Creator.

A Haudenosaunee clan was relocated and migrated across the land until we found ourselves three thousand miles west, being raised in the California Missions. There the family settled there and bore great grandchildren. We made our sacraments and married and buried our dead in the unmarked graves of the missions. After six generations, we are assimilated and much of our original language is gone but the corn is the same. It grows abundantly as it did the mountains of New York, or the mission gardens and in Central Arizona. It is our link with the ancestors. As a native grandmother, I am called to keep our culture alive and remembering the old ways. Our history was hard but the people remain strong in the face of assimilation, alcoholism and termination. Forgiveness makes us strong and whole and healed from the wounds of misunderstanding. It is the gentle forgiving earth and Creator that makes the corn grow and speak to us about the beauty and frailty of the human soul. We do not shut the door on the past. We remember the history through oral tradition and we learn for it. We never give up on the corn or on ourselves. We try new things learned from the old and we prosper. We are not extinct because we never forget the teachings of our ancients. We carry them in our hearts and build a future free of bitterness and regret. Like the corn, we are proud and strong and forever able to change and grow!