Frannie Fires Back

6:37 AM

2013-05-18T07:48:00.002-04:00

The past year has been a whirlwind of change. New house, new job, new city, but some things just never change.

Monday through Friday I get up at 6:30am feed the dog, make coffee, take him out and begin the day.

Saturday and Sunday I would love to sleep until, say, 7am but no such luck.

In the life of The Dog there is no Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc.

There is just Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4...Day 1567

And they all start, you guessed it, at 6:30am.

So as much as I would've liked to sleep in this Saturday morning, instead I was up at 6:37am, feeding the dog and making coffee.

Because some things just never change.

Why Nerds Stick Together

2012-07-10T13:29:00.000-04:00

This all started with a conversation at the office about iPhones. Anyone that knows me knows that I call my iPhone the iPrecious, I love it that much, but it's also a not so subtle homage to my love of the Lord of the Rings...

Co-Worker: You call it the Precious?

Me: Yeah, you know, from the LOTR.

Co-Worker: ...blank stare

Me: Please tell me you've seen the LOTR.

Co-Worker: I've seen the first one, when my son was small.

Me: So you know how Golem calls the ring his precious.

Co-Worker: Well, I've seen it up until the train comes into the station.

Me: The train?

Co-Worker: Yeah, the Hogwarts train.

Me: THAT'S HARRY POTTER! How can you possibly confuse The Lord of the Rings with Harry Potter?!!

Co-Worker: Is that the one written by J.K. Rowling?

Me: *shaking my head* Oh my god, I don't know how we can possibly be friends.

This is a classic example of why nerds flock together.

Badgers

2012-05-24T10:19:00.001-04:00

Neighbor: Did you see the cute little family living under your shed?

Me: Family of what?

Neighbor: Badgers.

Me: BADGERS! I. Have. A. Dog. Badgers are mean.

Neighbor: Well, maybe not badgers but ground hogs.

Me (in my head): Son of a....

Later that night...

Me: Hun, we have a family of something living under the shed.

BF: Family of what?

Me: Neighbor saw them this morning, they're badgers or something.

BF: BADGERS!

Me: Maybe ground hogs.

BF: There's a big difference between ground hogs and badgers.

Me: Well, whatever they are you'd better fix it (read: get rid of) before the Littlest Kid gets home.

BF: Christ. That's all I need. If he sees them he'll be feeding them carrots.

Me: Do badgers eat carrots?

BF: We DO NOT have badgers!

Me: Either way. I'll pick up some extras carrots.

BF: Son of a ....

Quiet

2012-05-09T08:01:00.000-04:00

This sign is hanging in the fifth floor elevator lobby of our hotel.

You need a key card to access the fifth and sixth floors of this hotel.

We are on the fifth floor.

Take a minute.

Read it.

No really, read every word.

Especially the fourth paragraph.

We're on night 3 of our biz trip.

I have to admit, our hotel is nice.

It's comfortable.

It is not quiet.

Monday night maintenance banged on my door at 10pm claiming they needed to fix it.

Um, I didn't call you and my door works fine. Go away, I have school tomorrow.

At 11:30pm, Room Service dropped a tray of glassware in the hall.

A LARGE tray.

And it sounded like they broke every last cup on it.

And then they proceeded to pick it up.

LOUDLY.

For 20 minutes. Please, shut the eff up, did I not mention I have school tomorrow?

Tuesday night some jackass' car alarm started going off at 4am. It was still going off at 6am when I got in the shower.

At this point I'd take the stray Tuba player. (You should've read the sign like I said.)

Do you think the front desk has ear plugs for people who's rooms are in the Quiet Zone?

Richard

2012-05-07T19:44:00.000-04:00

Currently my boss and I are on a business trip in Philly.

We drove.

With Richard.

Her TomTom.

I have a TomTom.

She has a respectable British sounding name like Amelia.

She likes to turn left and doesn't give me any lip.

Amelia nows her shit and can get from point A to point B.

Richard is a pain in the ass.

He also likes to turn left.

Repeatedly.

Until you're in a rest stop off the New Jersey Turnpike with 700 tractor trailers and no apparent way to get out.

Richard also likes the suburbs.

So much so that he will take you through ENTIRE residential neighborhoods before he takes you back to your hotel.

Moral of my travel story?

Name your TomTom after a woman.

Because even electronic men cannot follow directions.

It just wasn't meant to be...

2012-04-19T06:00:00.000-04:00

The boys finally wore me down.

Amidst the parade of movers bringing items into our new house Friday, Ryan the Cable Guy arrived to do his thing. I should point out for anyone that isn't a regular here that we haven't had cable tv in our house in years.

Yes, years.

Internet but not cable TV.

Ryan manages to work his magic and install wiring in the upstairs bedroom that doesn't have a jack, without drilling a hole through the outside of the house. Apparently THAT is a big no-no if you're an electrician, and the BF is. Holes in the house are sloppy and forbidden and only amateurs do it.

Ryan clearly knew his stuff, because an hour later the house phone (that's a story for another post), the cable and the internet are all connected.

I have to admit it was nice over the weekend to flip on the TV and channel surf a little. Even if I had no idea what was on.

That being said, today is Thursday. We've had working cable for 6 days.

Today the BF will be stopping by the local Charter Cable Office.

Why?

Why you ask.

The dog ate the remote to the cable box last night.

Random Kid Talk

2012-04-18T07:34:00.000-04:00

Usually this would be Random Kid Convo but we've had such a rash of one-liners lately I thought I'd go with those.

Things you hear from the boys around the dinner table:

Littlest Kid: "You wouldn't believe the amount of jack-assery that goes on in my class."

(Is jack-assery even a word?)

The Kid: "And then we went into the locker room after gym...and all of the Asians were on top of the lockers. No, I don't know why."

This one had me peeing my pants...my 5 yo nephew has developed a sense of exaggerated frustration about eeevverrrryyytthhhinngggg although his pronunciation could use some work.

The Kid: Why does he keep saying Cheezits?

Littlest Kid: He's not saying Cheezits.

The Kid: Well then what's he saying?

Littlest Kid: He's saying JESUS!

The Kid: Oh. OOHHHH.

And even though I haven't posted for a while it's good to see that somethings just never change.

It's the little things or in this case the short things

2012-04-16T07:20:00.000-04:00

Buying and moving into our new house seemed like the longest process EVER! But thankfully this past weekend, with the help of some awesome movers, we're in.

BF: Do you know what the best part of this house is?

Me: What?

BF: Normal. Sized. Toilets!

Me: Touche.

Cuz for two years we've been living with this.

So You Want to Sell Your House...

2012-02-02T10:25:00.000-05:00

Sunday I went to look at a ranch-style house with the nicest realtor. Originally I had vetoed this listing because I didn't think it had a garage, it turns out it has a two car, underneath garage. The online pictures just don't show it. The realtor hadn't been to this particular listing before so it was new for her too.

I'm fairly certain what my first home choice is but I wanted to see what else was out there.
So we pull into the driveway and assume that the car already parked there is the other realtor's.

It's not.

The people that live there are home, awkward.

We take a walk around the yard and based purely on this walk I've decided that there is no way I would ever buy this house but we can't just leave because the people are home and that would just be rude.

So, just to be polite, we knock on the front door.

It went downhill from there.

We didn't bother looking in the kitchen, there was a woman cooking something that smelled like a combination of onions, lots of onions, and ramen noodles. The ENTIRE house reeked of it.

It was as this point my three year old niece whispered, "Can we leave now?", in my ear.

With the exception of the living room we could barely walk through the rooms, there was so much stuff ~~crap and assorted junk~~ on the floors.

There were missing tiles from the bathroom vanity and the remaining ones had a weird brown moldy grout around the sink. The grout on the edges of the vanity was white so, yeah. Ewwweee.

We moved onto the semi-finished basement, with the fireplace that doesn't work. It was pretty much what you'd expect from seeing the upstairs but the additional 'full bathroom' was the icing.

The plumbing for the basement bathroom was 100% exposed on the opposite wall. This wall being the garage.

The unheated garage.

This is New England, shit freezes here during the winter. You know, like pipes.

But it doesn't end there...

the back deck needed to be ripped off, it was rotting;

there was standing water in the backyard;

the large front picture window was original, the house was built in 1960, the glass was falling out;

a squirrel/rodent lived under the front step;

there was a structural crack in the hallway ceiling which coincided nicely with where the hallway floor dipped;

It was like a nightmare that would never end. It didn't matter where you looked, literally everything needed to be fixed.

While standing in the driveway getting ready to leave, the realtor comments that this house is priced incredibly high, $179,000 high, "This place is a disaster," she said, "it needs a bulldozer. It's NEVER going to sell."

At which point my niece dispenses with the whisper and chimes in with, "NOW can we go?!"

"Yes, now we can go."

It was my understanding that the realtor had another showing of that property later on that day. Hopefully the onion smell will have worn off by then, but I wouldn't count on it.

Could we put the Real back in Real Estate?

2012-01-27T16:00:00.000-05:00

You've all seen the inevitable post about words bloggers don't like, 'moist' seems to be very popular. I must admit I'm not a fan of that one either, but I have a different set of words I'm beginning to hate.

Real Estate terms.

Yup, house hunting has begun and I'm already reaalllyyyy disenchanted with the scene.

Let's start with...

Gleaming, as in gleaming hardwood floors. I've seen this in literally every.single.effing.listing, from cheapest fixer-uppers to the ridiculously huge. Honestly, my dog would love it if there was some carpet in the new place, he hates the hardwood floors in our current house, so much so, that it makes his fur fall out. No, I am not joking. I refer to myself as She Who Must Vacuum All the Time as a result of his floor affliction.

Sprawling. When I think of sprawling, I think of the mountain scene in the Sound of Music where Julie Andrews is spinning in a circle. A 14' x 12' space is not sprawling, it's the size a shed. I'm almost certain that the pictures of some of these places where taken with a zoom lens, through an open window whilst standing on the front lawn, in an effort to make them look larger.

Priced to Sell, um yeah. That just makes me nervous. If you don't think it's worth it, why am I ever going to think it's worth it? Just tell me what it costs and let's get down to business. I don't haggle well.

Charming. Translation, decorated circa 1982 using way too many DIY programming suggestions.

So, tomorrow I'm visiting the first house on my list and ironically the description reads...

This charming must-see property is priced to sell, well below market value. It includes gleaming hardwoods throughout, a sprawling floor plan with a flat yard...

Yeah. I know, I was grinding my teeth too.

The first words out of my dad's mouth were, 'What's wrong with it? It should cost more.'

My thoughts exactly.

I'll bet there's a chalk outline of a body in the basement.

I Smell a Rat or There's an App for That

2012-01-14T07:00:00.000-05:00

The Littlest Kid and I are playing Words with Friends, I'm fairly good at this game but let's look at the progress of our first game. The BLUE words are his, the BLACK are mine.

It started with HYPHAE,

followed by KIDDIES,

OTIOUSELY,

SHAWN,

JOHNBOAT,

FLOUNCE,

ZEIN,

TELERANS,

PELITE,

AWE,

SMOGS,

DOGE,

CABOB,

TINEID,

VARVE,

QI

Currently our score is 421 him, 245 moi. And we're only half finished.

Someone is chhhhhheeeaaatttiiinnnnggggg. Although if he's not he's got a lot of explaining to do.

When are signups for the National Spelling Bee?

Back to Normal

2012-01-13T07:47:00.000-05:00

Everyone loves gossip, at least the spike in my readership over the past few days says so, but sadly 'Those Who Will Never Be Spoken of Again' just aren't worth another post.

So since my previous post was a break from my usual funny I'll try to catch everyone up on what's been going on. I'm sure there are people, and you know who you are, that would love for me to take down the previous post bbuuuttttt I'm not gonna. The best I can do is not link to it here but that's really all of my good will you're going to get.

Operation Million Dollar Smile is back on track and thankfully progressing without incident. We've moved on to calling it Operation Delta. The wire connecting the dots in The Kid's mouth looks a triangle. I'll try and snap a pic over the weekend. (He hates posing like a trained pony but he loves me, so pic to be posted.)

I had a job interview this week so everyone cross their fingers. It went well and I feel confident I've made it to the second round. Honestly this job search thing is like being a contestant on the Price Is Right. I just dated myself didn't I?

Anywho,

This past weekend I embraced my inner Jew and made a brisket for the first time in the new Le Creuset pot my parents gave me. Oh My Gawd, it was so good I want to convert. I don't know why I never tried to make one sooner.

Me to the Kid: Did you see my new pot? My brisket making pot?

Kid (full of sarcasm): Yes, I see your pot. Don't you remember I carried it around the mall with Grampy? Do you have any idea how much that thing weighs?

Me: Now that you mention it, I vaguely recall talk of your carrying my pot.

Kid: Yeah, well, it's heavy. And right now it's empty.

Me: Are you saying you want me to cook more brisket?

Kid: Yes. Yes, I am.

Things are totally back to normal.

Operation Million Dollar Smile - The Gruesome Chapter

2011-12-13T07:03:00.000-05:00

Soooo, back in March Operation Million Dollar Smile began. For those of you too lazy to click, The Kid got braces, they pulled out some teeth to make room for other teeth.

After what seemed like countless trips to the orthodontist, he informed us that the teeth that where supposed to fill the gaps in his head were only working on one side.

Oh Christ, what does that mean?

He went on to describe a procedure where they slice open the gum and expose the tooth, gag, so that he can attach a bracket. Therefore making it easier to line up the tooth as it should be.

Long story short, 2 weeks ago the boy goes to his dentist, he exposes the tooth, we then go next door to the orthodontist who attaches the bracket and then tells us he wants to see the boy in a week.

Yesterday we go in for the follow up appointment only to be told that the exposure is wrong. It's his jaw bone you can see and the tooth is actually BEHIND his other teeth on the palette!

I think my face must have said, 'You Must Be Joking I'm Going to Kill You Now!' Because he immediately called the dentist and the boy went next door to have this debacle fixed.

Six shots of Novocain later the dentist has removed the bracket, stitched up the boy's gum, and cut open the roof of his mouth so we can return to the orthodontist to have a bracket put on.

Seriously, I felt faint....

He was thoroughly pissed by the time we got home yesterday, not that I blame him. I told him he would thank me eventually.

He shot me a dirty look which I'm pretty sure would've been followed by a string of profanities if his mouth hadn't been full of gauze.

Random Kid Convo of the Week

2011-12-06T13:56:00.000-05:00

Burn Notice is the Kid's new favorite TV show and I can't believe I hadn't thought of this sooner...

Me: Boy?

Kid (watching Burn Notice on laptop and not really paying attention to me): Yeah?

Me: EVERYTHING on that show is off limits.

Kid: But...

Me: EV-ER-RY-THING, capiche?

Kid: Fine. But the flash-bang thingy looked cool.

Me: Do. Not. Even. Think. About it.

Kid: Kill joy.

Me: My job is never done.

Some exclusions may apply...

2011-12-01T06:56:00.001-05:00

Christmas shopping should be fun, not an exercise is futility.

The BF and I decided that we wanted to get his father the Keurig coffee maker for Christmas. I noticed the last time we were over for Sunday dinner that his Mr. Coffee was looking a bit tired and let's be honest, it's a pain to make a pot for just one person.

Enter the Bed Bath & Beyond circular that arrived in the mailbox yesterday. To my surprise there was a 20% off coupon on the back and the very coffee maker we were looking for on the front.

Nirvana you'd say? Well, not so fast.

I always read the fine print on these types of coupons for fear that I'll get to the register and find out they want my first born along with payment.

The coupon has 20% in gigantic red font followed by:

This discount cannot be applied to All-Clad, Alessi, Arthur Court, Brookstone, DKNY, kate spade, Kosta Boda, Le Creuset, Llardo, Nambe, Monique Lhuillier, Nautica, Orrefors, Riedel, Shun, Swarovski, T-Tech, Vera Wang, Victorinox Luggage, Vitamix, Waterford, Wusthof, or Zwilling. And don't forget Argington, Baby Jogger, BEABA, BOB, Bugaboo, Bumblebee, ERGObaby, Mountain Buggy, Oeuf, Orbit Baby, Peg Perego, Plan Toys, Svan, Teutonia, Under Armour, Uppa Baby, baby furniture, diapers, wipes, formula, baby food or portrait studio services.

So basically, everything is the store except the frigging coffee maker!

Honestly?

This just pisses me off.

Why have a coupon at all? Just put the damn coffee maker on sale and call it a day.

I loathe shady attempts to get me into stores. It makes me want to shop there less.

Anybody else?

Thankful

2011-11-25T08:20:00.000-05:00

There's always plenty to be thankful for.

There's the obvious ones like family, heat in the house, the house, and food, but the ones I'm most thankful for are the things others would overlook...

1) Having enough mixed-family you want to be around.

2) Our ability to all talk at once, loudly, and still know what's going on.

3) The stain on the table cloth that your nephew made during dinner but then you spit out your tea on said stain when someone told a funny story about you and now, according to 6 /o law, the stain is your fault.

4) Your mother making a pumpkin souffle which doesn't rise so your SIL renames it pudding and you all eat it anyway. (It was good.)

5) Leftovers.

6) Talk of trimming the Christmas tree that night. (We're spastic, I know.)

7) Talk of the Christmas Cookies we'll be baking Saturday with all 6 grandchildren, ages ranging from 16 to 4. The BF is bringing the camera, my dad's bringing the wine and my 92 y/o grandma will be directing. Should be a party.

8) That my BFF will be traveling from Buffalo with her longtime boyfriend so he can meet the family for the first time this weekend. He'll never be the same.

And most especially:

The realization that the important things in life don't involve money or things.

I think I'm going to wear my rosary beads around my neck, Alternative title: The Oldest Just Got Her License

2011-11-16T11:12:00.001-05:00

I've re-evaluated my Christmas and Easter Catholic status and decided I'm now a My Teenager Can Drive Catholic.

In case you're wondering in addition to Sunday mass, this includes a Tuesday and Thursday attendance as well.

The Chica has passed her driver's test and is now licensed to drive.

Typing that just caused a chest pain, not because I'm worried about her wrapping her cute little Toyota Corolla around a tree, but because this means that in one year, The Kid will be driving.

As much as she drives like a little old lady the Kid is going to channel Brian O'Conner from Fast Five.

I think I need to find a paper bag to breathe into just at the thought.

Last night she drove her and the Littlest Kid over to the house for the first time in her 'new-to-her' car. I told the BF that I envisioned the 12 minute car ride consisting mostly of the Chica telling the LK to stop fiddling with the radio. She was trying to concentrate.

Turns out I was right. He went to change the station and she almost took his arm off. Ahhh, sibling love.

The three of them will never be allowed alone in the car. Ever. I don't think I'd be able to look the policeman in the face after he brings them all home for taunting the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru people.

No, it's not beneath them. They're already plotting.

Anywho, apparently the Chica's grandmother bought the car from an elderly woman that hardly ever drove it. Although if we hadn't known it was once owned by an old lady, the 6,432 hard candies we removed from under the seats, every nook and cranny, pocket and cup holder would've given it away.

Seriously, we filled a small trash bag, oh, the joy of owning your first car. At least the woman didn't smoke.

So, while I'm getting used to the oldest being able to drive I'll be looking for used Sherman Tanks on Craig's List for when the Kid approaches driving age. (insert sign of the cross here)

In the mean time, I gotta go people, I'm late for church.

But it's pretty...

2011-11-14T08:23:00.000-05:00

I spent the past week in Disney with my parents embracing my inner child. We may have even ridden the Winnie the Pooh ride but there's no photographic evidence so you can't prove a thing.

Ahem, anywho, anyone who has ever been to Disney knows that there is an abundance of gift shopping. While my mother and I were looking for little things for my niece and nephews my mother spied the antenna toppers...

My mother: Ooooo, this one's pretty.

Me: For who?

Mother: I can get it for your brother's truck, Gee (my niece) will like it.

Me: You can't have that one.

Mother: Why not?

Me: You just can't, come on, let's look at something else.

Mother: But I like this one.

Me (whispering): Mom. It's a rainbow.

Mother: I know, it's pretty. I like it.

Me: Have you ever seen cars on the highway with rainbow stickers on their windows?

Her: No...wait, yes. So?

Me (leaning in so only she can hear me): Mom, the rainbow symbol is for people who want to proudly tell others that they're gay. It's kinda cool.

Her: Really?

Me (rubbing my face): Yeah, really.

Her: I probably shouldn't get that for your brother's truck then huh?

Me: Um, no, let's keep looking.

She was right though, it was pretty.

*rainbow sparkles to everyone today*

Wear them proudly!

16 Hours 52 minutes

2011-10-31T10:07:00.002-04:00

16 hours and 52 minutes.

This is precisely how much time we can spend together as a family without technology.

Saturday night at 10:30pm we lost our power.

I've mentioned how much I love snow and winter right? This past weekend solidified exactly how much. (That would be in sarcasm font if I had one.)

It wasn't until the morning when the fun really started.

The BF and I were out of bed before 6:30am Sunday morning in order to get the fire going in the fireplace. Our new windows kept the house fairly tight overnight, so with the fire going the temperature stayed around 60 degrees inside.

So just to recap, we had NO POWER, which meant that there were 3 teenagers with...

no TV

no Internet

no Playstation3

no phone/texting (once their phone batteries died)

and most importantly

no unrestricted refrigerator access

AND

2 adults with...

no coffee

Yeah, you think you know, but you don't.

Do you have any idea how long it takes to perk coffee in a fireplace? About forever. Move the fuck over Pioneer Woman (I do love you but this weekend meant war.) I broke out the cast iron skillets and the camping percolator and made breakfast.

In the fireplace. While the kids played games at the dining room table.

I'm sure if you're a parent you're familiar with Hasbro's widely advertised, 'Family Game Night', not the video game, the one where people actually play board games and interact together. In the commercials everyone looks happy and there's family bonding and such.

These people do not exist.

You see, at our house, when the kids break out the games it's like the US, USSR and China pull up chairs on opposing sides of our dining room table. Bet you didn't think Sorry, Pictureka, and Jenga could draw proverbially blood, but you'd be wrong.

There were multiple outbursts of

YOU'RE CHEATING!

IT'S MY TURN!

I DON'T HAVE ANY CARDS!

NOW YOU'RE BOTH GANGING UP ON ME!

IT'S MY TURN! YOU JUST WENT!

SHUT UP!

NO, YOU SHUT UP!

I do not care what Hasbro promotes, I'm fairly sure the above description accurately describes most family game nights.

At 5:22pm EXACTLY the power came back on. I actually ran out into the driveway shrieking to the BF that we had power.

Or more importantly, the children could stop interacting and there would be peace once more.

Some things just never get old...

2011-10-27T06:47:00.002-04:00

Car shopping with my parents just never gets old for me. Ever.

I'm 38 and I tagged along last Saturday just because I KNEW it would be a show.

My mom's all about the value.

My dad's all about the buttons.

This past weekend the 'rents went to the local Ford dealership to compare the Explore and the Expedition. As soon as my mother had the Explorer in her sights she gestured that we should keep walking; straight on to the Expedition.

The Explorer didn't even pass the visual test. I have no idea how roomy, etc. it was inside since we didn't even break stride on our way to the black Expedition at the back of the lot.

Conveniently it was parked next to a black Lincoln Navigator.

I told my mom that for the bargain price of $68,000 (yeah, you read that right) she could find her inner rap star, or gangster, which ever came more natural. Since women in our family can't carry a tune in a bucket and she could scare the pants off me until I was 25, I'm leaning towards gangster. She, however, was more interested in what was in it. At the end of her analysis, read agony of the salesman, she determined that the Expedition had exactly the same features for $25,000 less. Yup. You read that right too.

The salesman was trying reaalllyyyy hard not to laugh at the two of them, especially when it came time for a test ride.

My mom climbs into the passenger seat commenting that she likes the handles to haul yourself up. These things are important when you're vertically challenged, and we are. When I say we, I mean everyone but my dad, he doesn't need steps and handles and such to get it.

As I'm getting into the backseat I can't help but notice that the entire interior is encased in plastic, prompting my, "Hey mom, it comes with plastic seat covers! It's like they knew you were coming." My dad followed up with, "It's an Italian Expedition."

My mom laughed but I wouldn't be surprised if she kept the plastic once they get it home.

So after vicious haggling with the salesman they bought the Expedition that day, and then we promptly named it Everest so that my mother could remember what kind of SUV they bought.

Because if you ask her what kind, she'll say:

A black one.

The List has returned

2011-10-25T07:00:00.000-04:00

Being home this past week has really thrown my organizing skills into overdrive. Don't get me wrong, if given the proper motivation I could spend all day on the couch with my blankie and the remote for Netflix, it's a gift.

In my attempt to not fall into the abyss that is the couch I've begun making lists on things I need to do during the day. When I was working I had a short list, but those were things that I needed to get done that month, not that day.

Currently my lists consist of things like:

Call the Insurance man - check

Email resume to headhunter - check

Deposit checks - check

Write 500 words - halfish check

Remind BF to call accountant - check

Find Title for car - um, I'm moving this to tomorrow

Read Health Insurance paperwork - check

I did manage to do everything on yesterday's list with the exception of find title for car, but I'm pretty sure I know where it is, and I wrote 347 words (I had to leave to pick the boy up from school), so all in all not too bad.

The other day I actually went to Barnes & Noble to work in the cafe because all I could think about was cooking and doing laundry sitting at my kitchen island.

My loving son has embraced my being home with vigor....

Kid: Can you make bread during the day while you're home?

Me: I suppose you want Chex Mix too?

Kid: OMG! That would be awesome!

Me: Well, I already made the cookies you like.

Kid: Really? Where? (Looking around on the pantry shelves.) I love this no work thing! What's for dinner?

We are so going to get fat this winter.

I've Got an Idea

2011-10-20T07:40:00.003-04:00

Long ago and far away I used to be fairly artistic...I can draw and I can tell a funny story.

But then life and responsibility got in the way and I left that all behind for a mature respectable job that paid well and had great benefits.

Did you know that kids like to eat? Yeah I know, I did too, but honestly.

Gone were the closet dreams of doing something creative and hello, office-girl was born. Office-girl finds office work easy but boring. If you are office-girl you know exactly what I mean.

So, if you read my last post you'll know that I've reached a cross roads in my life and it's pretty much 'now or never'.

I've started doing research online about book publishing, or more specifically children's book publishers. (Thanks Jen for that great article on Amazon.com publishing direct. I'm going to have to look into this deeper as well.)

Ever since we moved to the 'burbs two years ago I've had a story forming in my head that I just can't shake, it's time to see if I can take it somewhere.

In the words of my BFF, 'You are not going to make money right away from doing this.' She's going through the publishing roller coaster right now, so she can speak from experience. All I know is that if I don't give it a try right now, I'll have only myself to blame for not taking a chance.

If anyone has publishing or writing advice I'm all ears. Right now, there can never be too much help.

So tell me, did you follow that dream or are you office-girl (guy)?

Reevaluating the path

2011-10-18T10:13:00.000-04:00

Life doesn't always give you the path that you want.

Sometimes, it's the path that you need to get by and make the best of and sometimes it's a trail so overgrown you can hardly find your way.

Inevitably you will come a fork in the road and have to decide which way you're going to go.

I am at that fork.

Today myself and another co-worker were laid off due to financial reasons. I can't say that I'm surprised, only that I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner. I will miss the routine that my life was but feel relieved at the same time that something new maybe around the corner.

Random Kid Convo

2011-10-12T08:13:00.000-04:00

Driving in the car. With the iPod....

Me: How can you listen to that stuff? Are those even words?

Kid: I like Rap music.

Me: Like that Whizz Cauliflower guy, how can you even understand the song?

Kid: It's Wiz. Khaah-Lee-Fa.

Me: Whatever, you know what I mean. Play the song I like.

Kid: Ooh-kaay.

Me: What? Why? Who sings it?

Kid: Wiz Khalifa.

Figures.

I'm pretty sure my mother secretly liked Axle Rose.

The Blanket

2011-10-11T09:26:00.000-04:00

This Saturday I switched the summer quilt on our bed to the down comforter. This, of course, guaranteed that it would be close to 80 degrees all weekend long.

And it was.

While the Boyfriend was helping me get the cover on the comforter he busts out laughing...

Me: What is so funny?

Him: We just had 'The Blanket' talk at work.

Me: The blanket talk?

Him: Yeah, all the guys were sitting around the break table talking about how it's the time of year when everyone's wives or girlfriends break out, The Blanket.

Me: So what are you trying to say?

Him: This is just one of your blankets. Soon you're going to put that 60 year old, handmade by great-great someone or other blanket on the bed and I won't be able to breathe.

Apparently there was a vigorous amount of head nodding around the break table that every one of them suffered from some form of blanket suffocation throughout the winter.

Me: (laughing) But I'm cold.

Him: Yeah, yeah...you and every other girl on the planet.

Me: Fine, we'll see how smug you are when it's -10 degrees out and I'm not sharing with you.

Of course these new windows we've been installing for the last three days will most likely make our house feel somewhat tropical.

Perhaps I can pare it down to one blanket? Although that seems unlikely given past winters.

Is it Blanket season in your house?