Was your most recent accomplishment worth not accomplishing anything else? - I didn’t think so either. Be proud of what you’ve done, but keep it moving. Keep grinding.

~Sunday 12.20.2015 @ 5:58pm

In the spirit of learning from past mistakes and not making them again…phase 1of 2 is done, in realizing the issue and the patterns in the past behavior. Phase 2 should be adjusting said behavior(s) and being open enough for continuous tweaking so that future opportunities are not squandered.

~Sunday 03.12.2017 @1:54pm

The duality of emotions. They can fuel your drive and dedication of cripple every ambition you dare to have. Where the end result falls within that spectrum of possibilities, relies on your intent and perspective. Which direction will you steer those emotions when they begin to bubble up to the surface?

Your intent in those moments matter. Emotions don’t happen to you. They just happen. Actively practice to navigate them in your intended direction. Choose to cook your food, not to burn your house down.

~Wednesday 07.20.2022 @ 8:13am

That didn’t want me to write what I’m about to write.

Partly because I’m not sure what that is exactly. The funny thing is that without even knowing what that something is, that I’m getting ready to write about, I’m psyching myself out before I even begin.

You’re no expert.

You don’t know enough about this.

You’re a fraud.

Let me clarify something once and for all and simultaneously set the tone for anyone that finds themselves in a similar predicament that is perpetuating self-critical defeat: NOBODY in the history of everyone has ever been an expert from the outset.

What do those that we consider experts have to go through and where did they begin?

Do you think they feel like experts? Or is that an arbitrary ideal, that we’re all on some level striving for within our respective fields?

You’ll never know enough, which may make you feel like a fraud at times. Until you take a step back and notice the symbiotic relationship between the three [which way do you see it?]:

~ Sunday 01.04.2016 @ 12:26am

Phil Stutz & Barry Michels

“…Oliver Wendell Holmes in ‘The Voiceless’ wrote: Alas for those that never sing, but die with all their music in them.”

Sing your song. If for no one else, do it for yourself. If for no other reason, do it for the sake of doing it. Make that ‘what if’ feeling an after thought. Get yourself to a point where it’s a ‘never was.’ There is something in you. There is in all of us. And not just one thing, it can be plenty. Hopes and desires. Goals and achievements. Can’t think of any? Haven’t found it yet?

Look harder.

Look deeper.

Summon the wonderment of the child inside you that once wanted to be an Astronaut. Try different things. Challenge yourself and do at least ‘one thing every day that scares you.’ You’ll get it. You’ll find it, or it’ll find you. Self expression wants to be expressed. No matter how trivial or grandiose your ‘it’ may seem, jump in head first. Scratch that - DIVE into the deep end while doing the cannon-ball. Immerse yourself in yourself and your thing. Your hobby. Your craft. Make it an extension of you, and grow from/with it.

~Tuesday 10.29.2013 @11:35pm

“…Illustrate larger truths about life, with what you do…”

Tim said this about what he hopes he’s doing as a comic, while acknowledging a larger point of; people shouldn’t be taking him & other comics that seriously. Now, I get where he’s coming from in terms of not wanting that level of responsibility thrust on him (especially if it wasn’t asked for) but I share Lex’s view on why he and others do take comics so seriously. And I don’t mean in an ultra P.C.-cancel culture sort of way. I mean in a reverential sort of way. Looking to them for “answers,” so as far as there are any. Placing them on a pedestal.

They are the front line, last strong hold for freedom of speech and expression. They have an uncanny ability to perceive reality, dissect it and present it to the rest of us in ways that relieve us of the veils we’ve wrapped around our own perceptions. It’s my hope that through my own writing that I can some day emulate that ability to illustrate larger truths about life, through my expressions.

~ Thursday 02.25.2021 @ 2:50pm

That’s rough to take in for a calculator like me. But it’s an objective truth. And I think it’s applicable to every microcosm of life. You can’t wait for every thought to be aligned just right before you begin writing a novel. You can’t wait for all other stressors in your life to be alleviated before you begin making healthier lifestyle choices. You can’t figure out every crevice of a business deal before it even happens. I’ve been frozen at different times in my life. Overthinking things unnecessarily. Stressing over what if future scenarios that never happen. Each time I reflect back on those moments, it’s clear they were not helpful or productive or have any net positive result. So, begin to live. Don’t allow paralysis by analysis to be your MO. Make a conscious and deliberate effort to start taking steps in the general direction of your dreams.

~ 09.07.2022 @ 8:22am

~12.2.2022 @ 8:14am

I was about a year and a half into my first Corporate gig, give or take.  That morning, as one does, I was looking for something productive or consumptive to pass the time with.  I had about an hour-long commute, mostly underground with no internet connection.  My options were limited to reading (which usually didn’t vibe with my morning grog), sleeping (which was not only dependent on finding a seat, but finding one that was conducive to sleeping - like a non-aisle, non-middle, have a wall or window to lean on seat), writing (my dearest 1st love was also an option but it too required finding the perfect mix of privacy and seating that lent itself to pulling out a notebook and a pen).  Or I could vibe out to some music (which usually consisted of 1990’s to early 2000’s hip hop or some Aventura).

Not being in the mood for any of the above, the term “podcast” serendipitously came to mind.  I’m not even sure where I first heard the term but evidently it was floating around in the ether of my consciousness.  “Oh yea, I’ve been meaning to look into what a podcast is.  Might as well do that now,” I thought.  I didn’t know if it was something I could watch or listen to while underground on the train so I pulled up my phone browser while the train was still lingering around the 80th Street Hudson station due to train traffic ahead.  I googled something to the effect of “what is a podcast?” Or “how to listen to a podcast on my phone.”  This led me to Apple’s podcast app, where I browsed different categories and show art.  I remember clicking on a White House Podcast and listening to an episode that was only a couple of minutes long.  It was a replay of a quick press conference President Obama recently had.  Is this what a Podcast was?  Just audio replays of things that happened, but on demand?  That’s pretty cool, I guess.  I kept browsing and stumbled upon the show that would ultimately impact my life pretty profoundly.  

It was the 2nd Podcast I ever listened to; The Joe Rogan Experience.  It wasn’t the behemoth that it is now.  The colossal number one platform on the planet.  The show that would become the envy of most mainstream radio and television shows because in their arbitrary minds, it didn’t warrant the unwavering attention of the hundreds of millions of viewers/listeners it would go on to garner consistently on a monthly basis.  Back then it was just Joe Rogan and Brian Redban sitting on a couch in Rogan’s house along with a guest/friend of theirs while they streamed live, smoked way too much weed and shot the shit.  When I stumbled upon it I remember thinking: “hey that’s the dude from the UFC.  Let me check this Podcast out and see what it’s about.”  The guest on the first episode I listened to was Ari Shaffir.  It was either episode #118 or #129.  I remember it being in the early hundreds but not #109 (I’ve since gone back to identify each of the episodes Ari has been on).  I was instantly hooked.  Ari has always been the type of recurring guest on the JRE that brings out the most versions of Rogan.  So in retrospect it was the ideal guest for me to stumble upon on the perfect show at that most opportune time.  The episode was over two and a half hours long.  What was this unedited audio soup of hilarity mixed with introspection, fascinating anecdotes and vulnerable conversation that I wasn’t getting anywhere else?  It was a free and open discussion about life and experiences where one minute they would be talking about outer-space while lighting up a joint and the next speaking inside baseball about the stand-up comedy world.  It was such an intimate experience.  Hearing that first Pod I had an epiphany. “Oh, this is podcasting too…podcasting can be anything.”  I listened all the way to work, and probably for the first time ever in life, couldn’t wait to get on the subway again so that I could seamlessly pick up where I left off.  

After then it was off to the races.  If I told you that I was more hooked than Captain James, that wouldn’t be hyperbolic enough to describe my new obsession.  I’d listen all the time.  I mean all the time.  The conversation was too pure to limit my intake to just Mondays thru Fridays while commuting.  I listened at home while doing the dishes, in the car while driving (no AUX cable?  No problem.  I’d put up all the windows, turn off the AC and put my phone on speaker.  Then I’d place the phone in the cupholder of the center console so that the sound would be projected loud enough…that’s dedication, son).  Back in the day I used to smoke cigarettes.  As any nicotine head worth their salt knows, the two best times to puff a bogie would be right after a meal and while taking a shit.  But pressing play on that Pod you were listening to and having it pick up where you last left off, while you’re on the john, takes the cake my friend.  I would even listen up until the moment I fell asleep.  I put 15 minute snooze timers on so that the episode would automatically stop after as many minutes, and I would tack on another 15+ if it happened to shut off before I did.  My reasoning to do that wasn’t something sensible like trying to avoid an outburst of laughter on the show waking me up from a deep sleep, but rather I did not want to waste time rewinding the next day!  In the mornings when I’d wake up, before brushing my teeth, before getting out of bed even, I’d reach over to my night stand, feel around for my phone and press play to pick up where I left off before drifting away to sleep.  An episode would be on while I showered and while I got dressed to begin my day.  Today, when I get in my car, Podcasts are what automatically begin to play once I plug in my phone or the bluetooth picks up the connection.  

You know that thing that addicts do when they get “bitten by the bug” of their vice?  Where they get cajoled into doing anything and everything by that insatiable desire to get closer to obtaining the escape or relief or sense of satisfaction they’re seeking? - My Podcast obsession isn’t that.  Objectively, I wouldn’t call it an addiction.  Not because it’s not a true vice or negative thing, because I know folks can be addicted to “good things” like exercise or success.  I’d probably call it a fetish, if I had to put a label on it.  I have a non-sexual Podcast fetish.  I mean, aside from being a voracious consumer, I fell so hard that within about a year and a half of listening to that first Podcast while on the train, I started producing my own.  Me…introverted, self-conscious, ‘I-have-thoughts-and-ideas-but-seldom-think-them-worthy-of even-being-uttered’-me…decided to broadcast those same thoughts and ideas out into the world to become a forever record of my meanderings on the internet.  Anyone can listen to any episode I’ve ever recorded (yikes), or ever will, in perpetuity, at any time, instantly and via their choice of the dozens of available platforms that facilitate them doing so.

That’s the power of Podcasts.  They can take someone like me, who had no business speaking into a microphone (and probably still doesn’t) and give them the license to embark on a never before even thought of path and have them become someone who hasn’t missed an episode of his bi-weekly production of the Spun Today with Tony Ortiz Podcast - in seven years (see what I did with that shameless plug there?).  Aside from highlighting new paths for you, Podcasts also have the ability of dusting off and reconnecting you with old ones.  That’s what they did for me with writing.  Whether it was listening to a writing-specific Pod like The Creative Penn Podcast with Joanna Penn, or listening to accomplished authors discussing their crafts on an episode of the JRE and others.  I was put on to so many gems like The War of Art by Steven Pressfield, On Writing by Stephen King or Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott, to name a few.  I otherwise wouldn’t have known they existed.  Or documentaries like David McCullough: Painting with Words or Hemingway, which helped reinforce and reinvigorated my own desires to write.  

When it comes to Rogan’s Podcast I love the plethora of experts and variety of episodes.  From the silly-fests to the brainier ones.  When he has someone like Sam Harris, Brian Cox, Dr. Rhonda Patrick, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Lex Fridman or Elon Musk on, to name drop a few, listening to those episodes makes me feel like my IQ is rising via osmosis.  Like I’m eating vegetables for my brain.  Like I’m taking a huge scoop of athletic greens’ micro nutrients for my dome (see what I did there)? 

This excerpt can be found within the acknowledgments section of each of my books, and will always be included in any that I write in the future: 

The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast was the motivating straw that broke the procrastinating camels back, for me.  It has been a hub of fascinating conversations, inspiration, fun times, and life lessons.  Not only did it make me realize that it was ok to pursue my dreams, but it gave me the necessary kick in the ass to realize that they were all possible too.  It's truly a gift that each of you should unwrap.  Joe, Brian, Jaime and every guest that has and continues to share their experiences on the show … thank you.  I am eternally grateful.

Many years after that fateful morning train ride, I’m still an avid listener.  What I appreciate most about Rogan is the essence of transparency that echos throughout his orbit.  His willingness to sit and speak to anyone is contagious.  Whether they are on his side of the fence on a particular topic or completely opposite it.  Through egoless, unedited, long-form conversation he’s able to discuss his points of view while allowing his guests to flesh out theirs.  He questions & pushes back firmly yet respectfully.  He objectively fact checks himself and others in real time (“pull that up Jaime”).  All the while doing us, the listening public, the huge service of allowing us to be a fly on the wall.  Nowhere else that I’m aware of, does this nexus of humility, vulnerability and expertise exist.  It’s empowering in that it has the unintended (perhaps) consequence of giving each of us the license to be just as vulnerable.  To admit when we’re wrong.  To say and understand that it’s ok to say “I don’t know.”

That’s why I Podcast.  To reverberate that spirit.  As an ode to those that came before.  As a big-up to those that are currently doing it better than I could ever hope to which also inspire me to keep it pushing.  It’s my way of paying it forward, if you will.  Apologies in advance if my show happens to be the first Podcast you ever listen to but just know that my intentions to put you onto something worthwhile is pure.  I want to highlight the parts of movies that encapsulate an emotion.  The moments within shows that inspire the spirit or the prose in books that resonated with some dormant place within me.  I aim to share  the insights of a poignant stand-up comedy special and let you know where I stand on current events at a particular moment in time all while chronicling my journey to becoming the writer I know I could be.  

First Piece:

Here’s to all you control freaks out there. Myself included. You can only influence what is in your power. The things within your orbit. But there are forces at play in this experience we call life, that we don’t now nor never will have the ability to control. To determine in advance. To predict. Does that mean you should stop planning those pretty picnics in lieu of the possibility of a thunder storm raining on your expectations…I don’t think so. But don’t be naive enough to not be aware of the possibility. Think through it and adapt. Your reaction to the thunderstorm is still very much so under your control. So plan your pretty picnics but pack umbrellas just in case you have the opportunity to appreciate the rain.

~ Saturday 01.30.2021 @ 12:15am

Second Piece:

Some things are within your control, and some things aren’t. The question ultimately becomes then, how do we know what is controllable? Knowing this will aid in freeing us from the gut wrenching despair of trying to steer an uncontrollable situation. It’ll aid us in eliminating the noise and allowing us to focus on what would yield results from doing so. Once we can masterfully operate within this space, we’re left with another question. Why the obsession with control? Is it a byproduct of seizing the day and grabbing the bull by its horns? Or is it a desperate attempt to mask insecurities under the guise of being able to have a say in something. I like to think that controlling what can be controlled, or better said: organizing and executing is a pathway to fulfillment. It definitely is in the short term, like when you’re checking a task off a list. But I think and hope it to be in the long term as well. Fulfillment and realization built off of disciplined execution of the destiny you set out to take control of. But you must master that dance. You have to become able to decipher between the picnics and weather conditions of life.

~ Tuesday 11.09.2021 @ 8:19am

I hope he got to reminisce on all the laughs, the kisses, the intimate moments shared. And I also hope he got to see the rough patches on their journey. The turbid terrain. So that looking back at those moments all these years later…he can find solace and peace in knowing that they made it through. She sang for him the way I want to be sung to one day. The way I’d like to sing if I find myself with the opportunity to do so. Here’s to not letting the music stop.

~ Sunday 07.25.2021 @ ?:??

I was driving and saw an older Asian couple standing at a corner. The woman was leaning into & “singing to” (in my interpretation of the scene…I couldn’t actually hear them). He was sitting on his walker facing the same direction as she was. I pulled over about a block later and wrote this on my phone.

Draft one. It’s half way open.

Draft two. It’s completely flattened out.

Final draft. You iron it out, to pristine condition.

Both the quality and quantity of what you’re left with, correlate to the amount of work you put in. From a quote used in a meme to a thousand page novel. Flatten out all of the crumpled up pieces of paper in the wastebasket of your mind.

~ Friday 11.20.2015 @ 5:55pm

“Do as much as you can, as often as you can, for as long as you can.”

I don’t remember who said this during John Lewis’ memorial. Or if they were quoting him or attributing this statement to his legacy…but it is fitting isn’t it? A lifelong activist and champion of moral causes. He found his purpose, early on in life. What a blessing. When you find yours, make sure you know it. Honor it. Don’t take it for granted because this fleeting life that we live, it’ll absorb and dilute you out of existence. While you’re under the impression that you have all of the time in the world. Don’t let the “…as you can…” turn into “…when you want…”

~ Saturday 08.22.2020 @ 12:02am

Will Smith

“People think love is red. It’s not, it’s blue. It’s like water, it’s not like fire.”

Will mentioned this as something Jada told him that resonated with him…and it stood out to me. Red and fire symbolize heat, a burning desire. In relation to love it’s an unquenchable need to be with your better half. A devotion and kinship to your family and closest friends. Love, in my perspective, is all of those things, but it goes beyond. It incorporates more. Blue and water symbolize peace, tranquility, soothing, freshness. The ability to quench the thirst for love by realizing that it’s something fluid. It goes everywhere and anywhere. True love, like water, sticks around through the ups and downs. It carries and harbors the fire and devotion. It facilitates the routes that they [fire and devotion] navigate through.

~ Monday 06.17.2019 @ 4:26pm

What’s the root cause of it all? Why does there seem to be an incentive to stifle? Who or what doesn’t accomplish, when we do? Have they or it really achieved a method of being able to reach over and affect us? If so, how can we harness that ability and channel it towards turning potentiality into reality?

We should come to the realization that we truly are our own worst enemy and we do it to ourselves. We’ll say we’d do anything for it…except this, this and this. C’mon man, be about it. Reach into potentiality and grab a slice of your realized vision.

~Tuesday 08.25.2015 @12:00am

~Sunday 05.31.2020 @ 1:23am

#GeorgeFloyd

Even when you really want to make them.

Even when you plan.

Even when you schedule things.

Even when you break down goals into achievable granular tasks and setup goal-posts to monitor progress.

Even then, it’s hard to make changes you want.

But changes happen every minute of every day and have since the beginning of time. There’s an inevitability component to change. Along with a defined path to it. Identifying that path while timing its inevitability … maybe that’s the most efficient mechanism to change. The catalyst that should be focused on.

Or maybe it’s just hard as fuck and that way for a reason. Sometimes the only way through it, is through it.

~ Saturday 04.18.2020 @12:04am

I will say that it’s one of those things that will never be done. It’ll never become perfect. But no amount of work within it will ever feel like a 9 to 5. If it ever does, then you’re probably doing it wrong.

~Tuesday 07.26.2016 @ 7:52am

I have a finite window to create infinity. Something that outlives me. Legacy. Don’t let yourself wind up on the opposite side of opportunity, due to a fleeting false start. Time will keep going in-spite of you. Even when it stops in relation to you. When it’s all said and done…what do you want to have done with your time? - And how much more of that Mamba Mentality would you wish you had sprinkled onto it? Put in the work now. Regret less later.

~ Saturday 02.01.2020 11:30PM

Before the life lessons, you gave me hope. Something to strive for. A world of possibility lay ahead. Ripe for the picking. It was just a matter of deciding which path to proceed on, and then attack with an unwavering amount of devotion and dedication. Mamba out…but never forgotten. Always present.

~ Sunday 01.26.2020 @ 11:43PM

RIP Kobe

RIP Gianna Bryant

RIP John Altobelli

RIP Keri Altobelli

RIP Alyssa Altobelli

RIP Sarah Chester

RIP Payton Chester

RIP Christina Mauser

RIP Ara Zobayan