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Hilarious Sign Pictures - Funny Things People Come Up With

2013-07-01T21:58:00.001-06:00

Funny sign pictures, a few of them (in my opinion) are hilarious. What do you think?

Funny Perfect Timing Pictures

2013-07-01T21:48:00.000-06:00

Here are some hilarious pictures that were taken at the perfect moment and look funny.

Crazy Video (Best of Win/Fail Compilation 2012)

2013-06-29T15:56:00.000-06:00

Here's another hilarious, funny compilation of win/fail stunts in 2012.

Enjoy and Laugh Lots! Some really crazed people out there! lol

Crazy Video (Win/Fail Compilation) Part 1

2013-06-29T15:30:00.002-06:00

Funny Win/Fail compilation video. This is hilarious. Some people are just crazy lol.

Fun Online Auction With Top Quality Items Going For Just Cents!

2013-06-29T14:45:00.000-06:00

How would you like to pay only 2¢, 5¢, 75¢, or 99¢ for a decent video camera or television or even computer? If that sounds appealing to you, than you must join this fair and honest auction site right away and start bidding on items you wish to own. If you haven't heard of it yet, the site is called Deal Dash. It's Fun, exciting & most importantly, you get the best deals ever, which you would never find anywhere else. Check out these DealDash videos on how Deal Dash works, then sign up for free, buy a bidding package and start bidding.

You will be totally shocked at the items that go for merely cents, not dollars, but cents. It amazes me that an Apple TV was sold for just $0.03 and many other incredible items go for so little that will have you slapping your head and dropping your jaw!

DealDash is unique compared to other auction sites like penny auctions because there aren't near as many bidders as there are on penny auctions where power bidders keep outbidding you at the last moment. There are also new items listed every day, so there won't be any shortage of cool items and you won't get bored.

It's risk free to bid on Deal Dash because if you don't happen to win, you are able to buy the item now at retail price and you'll win all your bids back! Plus, they will even ship all of your items straight to you free of charge! How awesome is that? It's fun, easy and you will be very pleased at what you can win for next to nothing. So, check it out today if you want the best deals out there. Good luck and happy bidding! :)

Christmas Island Crabs, Holy Crab!

2012-12-02T13:34:00.001-07:00

This video is quite amazing. If you've never heard or seen what happens during October to December each year on Christmas Island which sits just Northwest of Australia, you must see it for yourself to believe it. Check out this crazy reality TV Christmas Crab video! Too funny.

More Funny Sign Pictures

2012-12-01T12:26:00.005-07:00

For those of you who like funny sign pictures with good sayings, here's some. Enjoy 🙂

Here are just a few:

How the Angel Became Atop the Christmas Tree - Funny Christmas Joke

2012-09-02T12:35:00.002-06:00

One Christmas, Santa was having a really bad day. The local elves union was up in arms over their contract and were threatening a walk-out. Mrs. Clause was pissed that Santa was never around to appreciate all of the hard work she had been doing around the house.

Santa decided he needed to go home, sit in front of a fire and relax. When he got there, Miss Clause was all up in his face and wouldn't let down.

Then, there was a knock on the door. It was Rudolph. He said the reindeer were sick and tired of Santa not upgrading to the new lightweight sleigh and they were joining the elves walkout. Santa slammed the door and threatened "The next person who knocks on that door is gonna get it!"

At that time, there was a knock on the door. Santa flung the door open and there stood a tiny little angel. The angel had been searching for the perfect Christmas tree for Santa's house all day long, until it found the perfect one. The little angel asked, "Santa, I was wondering where you would like me to stick this tree?" And that is the story of how the angel atop the tree tradition began.

Source: http://www.jokecenter.com

Funny Joke on Steps to Cook a Turkey

2012-09-02T12:14:00.001-06:00

Steps on How to Cook a Turkey

1: Go buy a turkey
2: Take a drink of whiskey, scotch, or JD
3: Put turkey in the oven
4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
7: Turn oven the on
8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
9: Turk the bastey
10: Whiskey another bottle of get
11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey
13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
14: Take the oven out of the turkey
15: Floor the turkey up off the pick
17: Turk the carvey
18: Get yourself another scottle of botch
19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out

Source: http://www.jokecenter.com (It's been modified slightly)

Funny Job Application Letter or Resume

2012-09-02T11:34:00.004-06:00

Imagine getting this funny job application letter or Resume, the guy who wrote it should apply for a comedian position

Source: http://twitpic.com/6z4jq7/full

Quick, Funny Comebacks To "Why Aren't You Married Yet?"

2012-07-26T23:09:00.000-06:00

25 Quick, Funny Comebacks to "Why aren't you married yet?"

1. You haven't asked yet.

2. I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.

3. What? And spoil my great sex life?

4. Nobody would believe me in white.

5. Because I just love hearing this question.

6. Just lucky, I guess.

7. It gives my mother something to live for.

8. My fiance is awaiting his/her parole.

9. I'm still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America.

10. Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon?

11. I'm waiting until I get to be your age.

12. It didn't seem worth a blood test.

13. I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.

14. Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.

15. My co-op board doesn't allow spouses.

16. I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.

17. They just opened a great singles bar on my block.

18. I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.

19. I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals.

20. What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads?

21. We really want to, but my lover's spouse just won't go for it.

22. I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.

23. Why aren't you thin?

24. I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.

25. (Bonus reply for Single Mothers) Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.

Source: http://www.funnynewjokes.com/

Starting Salary for a College Grad

2012-07-26T22:41:00.002-06:00

Here's a great, funny short joke ...

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young engineer who was fresh out of MIT, "What starting salary were you expecting?"

The Engineer replied, "I was thinking about $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package of course."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental benefits, company matching retirement fund up to 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - let's say perhaps, a cherry red Corvette?"

The Engineer stood strait up and said, "Wow, Dear God! Are you kidding?"

The interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

Funny Radio Show Gig

2012-07-26T22:08:00.001-06:00

A good friend of mine sent me this hilarious joke, who got it from http://www.activejokes.com. I hope you get a good laugh out of it..

You know how they do gigs on radio shows sometimes? Well, this is what happened on this particular radio show one day; it was live:

On the morning show at WBAM FM in Chicago, IL, they call someone at work and ask if they're married or in a serious relationship. If they are, then the person is asked three private, personal questions and the significant others name as well as their work number. If the significant other answers each question the same, then they are winners. This particular day it got real interesting and very funny:

DJ: "HEY! This is Edgar on WBAM. Do you know 'Mate Match'?"

Contestant: (laughing) Yes I do.

DJ: "What is your name? First name only please."

Contestant: "Brian."

DJ: "Are you married or what Brian?"

Brian: "Yep."

DJ: "Yes? Does this mean you are 'married' or what, Brian?"

Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes I'm married."

DJ: "Thank you, Brian. Okay, now, what's your wife's name? First only please, Brian."

Brian: "Sara."0

DJ: "Is Sara at work Brian?" Brian: "She is gonna kill me."

DJ: "Stay with me here Brian! Is she at work right now?"

Brian: (laughing) "Yes she is at work."0

DJ: "All right then, first question: When was the last time you had sex?"

Brian: "She's gonna kill me."

DJ: "BRIAN! Stay with me here man."

Brian: "About 8 this morning."

DJ: "Atta boy."

Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."

DJ: "Okay, Question #2: How long did it last?"

Brian: "About 10 minutes."

DJ: "Wow! You must really want that trip huh? No one would ever have admitted that if it there weren't a trip at stake."

Brian: "Yeah, it would be really nice."

DJ: "Okay, final question: Where was it that you had sex at 8 this morning?"

Brian: (laughing hard) "I ummmmm..."

DJ: "Ooh this sounds good Brian; where was it?"

Brian: "Not that it was all that great, just that her mom is staying with us for a couple of weeks and she was taking a shower at the time."

DJ: "Ooooooh, sneaky boy!"

Brian: "On the kitchen table."

DJ: "Not that great? That's more adventurous than the last hundred times I've done it. Anyway, (speaking to the audience) I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this." (Advertisements)

DJ: (Speaking to the audience) "Let's call Sara, shall we?" (Touch tones...*ringing*)

DJ: "Hey, is Sara around there somewhere?"

Clerk: "This is she."

DJ: "Sara, this is Edgar with WBAM. I have been speaking with Brian for a couple of hours now."

Sara: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"

DJ: "Well, a while anyway. He's also on the line with us. Brian knows not to give away any answers or you lose, sooooo, do you know the rules of 'Mate Match'?"

Sara: "No." DJ: "Good."

Brian: (laughing)

Sara: (laughing) "Brian, what the Hell are you up to?"

Brian: (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay?"

Sara: "Oh, Brian."

DJ: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sara I will now ask you three questions and if you answer exactly what Brian has said, then the two of you are off to Orlando, Florida at our expense. This does include tickets to Disney World and Sea World."

Sara: "All right."

Brian: (laughing)

DJ: "All right, when did you have sex last, Sara?"

Sara: "Oh God, Brian...this morning before going to work."

DJ: "What time?" Sara: "About 8, I think." (sound effect) DING DING DING.

DJ: "Great! That's one. Now! How long did it last?"

Sara: "Oh God! Brian...ummm, about 12, maybe 14 minutes I think." DING DING DING.

DJ: "Okay, the judges say that's close enough, I guess she's trying not to harm his manhood."

DJ: "Last question: where did you do it?"

Sara: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN! You did not tell them did you?!?!?"

Brian: "Just tell him honey."

DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sara?"

Sara: "Well, it's just ... just that my mom is vacationing with us and..."

DJ: "SHE SAW?!?!"

Sara: "BRIAN?!?! Jesus?!?!"

Brian: "NO, no she didn't."

DJ: "Ease up there sister. Just messin' with your head. What's your answer?"

Sara: "Dear Lord... Brian, I cannot believe you told them this."

Brian: "Come on honey, it's for a trip to Florida."

DJ: "Let's go, Sara, we ain't got all day. Where did you do it?"

Sara: "In the ass." (long pause)

DJ: "We will be right back." (advertisements)

DJ: "I'm sorry for that ladies and gentlemen. This is live radio and these things do happen. Anyway, Brian and Sara are off to lovely Orlando, Florida. Congratulations guys!"

Various Cute Pics and Of The Calgary Zoo

2012-05-17T01:58:00.000-06:00

Here's a fun trip to the Calgary Zoo as well as some other very adorable, cute pictures :).

The Orange, Lemon and Egg Magic Trick by Criss Angel - Amazing Magic Trick on Video

2012-03-31T08:45:00.000-06:00

This is one of the most amazing tricks I've ever seen. Criss Angel does some mind baffling magic. This video is stunning.

Funny Irish Birth Control Joke

2012-03-31T08:35:00.000-06:00

Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.

The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?'

She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.'

The Father asked, 'And be there any wee little ones yet?'

She replied, 'No, not yet, Father.'

The Father said, 'Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.'

She replied, 'Oh, thank ye, Father.' They then parted ways.

Some years later they met again. The Father asked, 'Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?' She replied, 'Oh, very well, Father!' The Father asked, 'And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?'

She replied, 'Oh yes, Father! Two sets of twins and six singles, ten in all!'

The Father said, 'That's wonderful! How is yer loving hoosband doing?'

She replied, 'E's gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin' candle.'

Funny IRS Audits Grandpa Joke

2012-03-31T08:17:00.000-06:00

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.

The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks. 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

I keep telling you! Don't Mess with Old People!!

Funny Bran Flakes Joke

2012-03-31T07:57:00.000-06:00

There was a couple that were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.

Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade. One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.

They reached the pearly gates, and St.. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favourite clothes in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said, 'Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now.'

The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. 'Why, nothing,' Peter replied, 'remember, this is your reward in Heaven.' The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.. 'What are the greens fees?,' grumbled the old man. 'This is heaven,' St. Peter replied. 'You can play for free, every day.'

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages. 'Don't even ask,' said St. Peter to the man. This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.' The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife. 'Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and the decaffeinated tea?,' he asked. That's the best part,' St. Peter replied. 'You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!' The old man pushed, 'No gym to work out at?' 'Not unless you want to,' was the answer. 'No testing my sugar or blood pressure or...' 'Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself..'

The old man glared at his wife and said, 'You and your f.....ing bran Flakes. We could have been here ten years ago!'

Funniest Jokes Ever According To GQ

2012-03-25T23:29:00.002-06:00

The funniest jokes ever aren't easy to really pick. It's not even really possible since we all think and interpret everything differently.

Although there was a scientific study on the topic, which produced these jokes as the funniest jokes in the world. The list below was compiled with input from several comedians, and first appeared in GQ magazine. These were selected as the funniest jokes in the world, the best jokes of all time, by these comedians.

I failed my driver’s test. The guy asked me “what do you do at a red light?” I said, I don’t know… look around, listen to the radio… (Bill Braudis).

China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you. (A. Whitney Brown)

If I ever have twins, I’d use one for parts. (Steven Wright)

A lawyer dies and goes to Heaven. “There must be some mistake,” the lawyer argues. “I’m too young to die. I’m only fifty five.” “Fifty five?” says Saint Peter. “No, according to out calculations, you’re eighty two.” “How’s you get that?” the lawyer asks. Answers St. Peter: “We added up your time sheets.”

Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot. (Ellen Degeneres)

Check out more of the funniest jokes according to GO magazine.

Mischievous Kid

2012-03-25T22:57:00.004-06:00

Here's a funny joke about a mischievous kid (grandchild) acts out during a shopping trip and his grandpa tries to maintain his sanity.

There's a woman in a grocery store who happens to take notice of a grandpa and his poorly behaving 3 year old grandson at every turn.

It was obvious gramps had his hands full with the mischievous kid, screaming out for candy in the candy aisle, cookies in the cookie aisle; same for fruit, cereal and soda.

Meanwhile gramps is working his way around saying in a controlled voice, 'Easy Albert, we won't be long; easy boy.'

Another outburst and the woman hears gramps calmly say, 'It's OK Albert, just a couple more minutes and we'll be outta here; hang in there.'

At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the shopping cart and gramps again in a controlled voice said, 'Albert, Albert, relax buddy, don't get upset -- we'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, Albert.'

Very impressed, the woman went up to gramps as he's loading his grandchild and the groceries into the car and says, 'You know sir, I realize it's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. The whole time you kept your composure and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be OK. Albert is very lucky to have you for his grandpa.'

'Thanks, lady,' replied gramps, 'But I'm Albert . . . the little tyrant's name is Johnny.'

Check out more short funny jokes.

More of the Funniest and Cute Pictures Around

2012-03-23T19:06:00.000-06:00

Check out many more funny pics at Funny Various Pictures

Funny Video Song - I'm Homeless and I Know It (YouTube)

2012-03-23T18:16:00.000-06:00

This is the YouTube Video of "I'm Sexy and I Know It". I think it's hilarious. It's quite popular. These guys are too funny.

I found a parody of it called "I'm Homeless and I Know It", which you can see if you go to Funny Song Videos I'm sure you'll get a laugh out of it. :) Enjoy.

Funny Looking Veggies And Fruit

2012-03-22T22:36:00.001-06:00

Have you ever seen really funny looking veggies that just happen to grow that funny looking? Well, here's some in case you haven't seen these before. There's more funny looking veggies as well as fruit if you go to Funny Looking Vegetables And Veggie Art. I find these to be very humorous and sure you will too. :)

More Funny Pictures

2012-03-21T21:03:00.000-06:00

Hello all you jokesters, I hope you like the newest funny pics I've added here.

To see the rest go to the page Funny Collection of Pictures

Before And After Photos Of Celebrities

2012-03-18T07:49:00.000-06:00

Just put some pics of before and afters of celebrities. Check them out at Before And After Celeb Photos.html Here's a peek: