Free Life Management

Benefits of Eating Together with Families

noreply@blogger.com (Ian) — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 16:45:00 +0000

The parents who want to instill good eating habits in their children, especially adolescents, should follow the advice on this one. Get used to regularly eat together.

In the first long-term study that examines the benefits of eating with family members, researchers at the School of Public Health at the University of Minnesota found that family meals have a big impact on adolescents because they encourage healthy eating habits and good nutrition choices.

"These findings suggest that regular family meals during the transition from early to middle adolescence positively impacts the development of healthy behaviors for youth," said Teri L. Burgess-Champoux, who worked on the study.

"The importance of incorporating shared mealtime experiences on a consistent basis during this key develop mental period should be emphasized to parents, health care providers, and educators," he added.

The researchers examined data from EAT Project, a study that examines the socio-economic factors, personal, and behavioral factors affect the eating habits of nearly 400 children. All children who were respondents in the study were asked to answer all the questions when they were 12 to 13 years and five years later. During his first 10 years, 60 per cent of children regularly eat with their families, while 30 percent do it later during adolescence.

Children who ate five or more times per week with their families, both in early and middle adolescence, eating more healthy foods with lots of vegetables and foods rich in calcium, fiber and minerals five years later

Although eating regular family associated with better eating, overall an adequate diet was not achieved for the entire study sample, the researchers said. The findings are published in the Journal of Nutrition Education and Behavior.

Violence Game Make Kids More Aggressive

noreply@blogger.com (Ian) — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 16:24:00 +0000

Should to keep children from playing computer games related to violence. Thus it is said three Austrian psychologist based on their research findings.

According to reports in their research titled "Violence and Prevention of Violence", three scientists from the Department of Psychology at the University of Vienna, Austria, suggested the attitude of "no tolerance" must be applied in dealing with youths who play violent computer games.

Teenagers must be kept away from these violent games because they're "not good and only cause harm".

The research results show that young people often play games related to violence in the computer tend to be more aggressive than those who only play games that little or no violence.

For that, the scientists explained that violent games not only tempt imitation, but the gaming environment also easily take someone on a mental reactive or imaginary aggressive.

"Children who play games related to violence in computer games will easily show aggression when irritated, unsatisfied, or angry". As such, they are more aggressive than children who do not play such games.

In that study also found that among adolescents aged 16 years and specifically surveyed, boys who play computer games with content that relates to brutality has even reached 60%.

Therefore, the scientists advised parents and teachers should begin related education in primary schools to keep children from violent computer games.

Forgiveness, Clear Your Heart

noreply@blogger.com (Ian) — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 06:39:00 +0000

Everyone asks, "how can forgive and forget hatred?" Maybe we have not been able to forgive because they still feel very shocked and hurt, worry if the act is repeated, the fear of looking "weak" to forgive, or considers to forgive would violate the principle of justice that had been believed.

Enright (in mullet and Girard, 2000) view forgiveness as a social phenomenon in six stages, and the other one may be understood in different ways.

(1) "Forgiveness with a vengeance" (I'm willing to forgive if he obtained a penalty equivalent to the wound),
(2) "restitusional forgiveness" (When I get back that was taken from me, I can forgive),
(3) "forgiveness because application (I can forgive when others ask me to do it),
(4) "forgiveness because of the demands of the norms / laws" (I forgive because my religion tells to do it),
(5) "forgiveness for social harmony" (I forgive because it is necessary to develop a relationship of peace),
(6) "forgiveness as a form of love" (I forgive because it's the essence of true affection, which prevents revenge and reconciliation open).

Forgiveness from the deepest heart can not be forced. If the situation is very painful, perhaps for quite a while we see forgiveness as a purely internal phenomena themselves.

Various studies (McCullough et al, 2000) shows, forgive develop balance and a sense of comfort, reduce stress, improve self-acceptance, and reduce health complaints. In essence, helping us happier.

We do not need to force yourself to reconcile with the party that really hurt us. But, somehow peace itself is very important. Hopefully this understanding can help us to "let go", not chastened liver injury, and smiled in treading the year 2009.

Love Without Words

noreply@blogger.com (Ian) — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 02:17:00 +0000

Maintains intimacy with often say "I love you" is good, but it's not the only way. According to Scott Haltzman, MD, psychiatrist and author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men, love can be expressed by a variety of these expressions, as quoted Redbook.

Serve Breakfast of Love
Prepare the toast, then draw a heart shape that smiled on bread with jam. Or create a heart smile decorative with cucumber slices or tomato on fried rice, to breakfast to your partner. Believe me, it will make your partner smile full of love to you.

Be Romantic
Put a piece of paper containing an expression of love in the form of written or drawn, on the pillow pairs. She also will go to bed with a happiness feeling because of your love flow.

Pamper Him
Setting up the warm water for bathing or serve a cup of hot tea when it is back on a drizzly night, will make it very comfortable and still feel loved.

Give Appreciation
Many men who complained about the lack of appreciation for what has been done. So, there's nothing wrong with expressing your pride or praise when my husband looked diligently tended the garden, painting the fence itself, or helping clean the house.

Hot message
Send SMS (short message) is now a means of telling intimate to maintain compassion, for example, contains, "I just listened to 'You're Beautiful' James Blunt, so i remember you."

Create a Special Sign
Husband kissed his cheek three times as a symbol of the words "I love you" performed a wife every morning. The husband responded by honking the car is also three times, each time to go to work. You can make your own creations to indicate love.

Be Seducer
According to Scott, cosmetic tool can be used to express love. You can wear lipstick to create a tattoo, for example drawing arrows that tempting, below the belly button toward the bottom. Guaranteed, this will make your partner love you more. "Remember, man was loved the visual," says Scott.

Dreams Reveal the Hidden Truth

noreply@blogger.com (Ian) — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 01:42:00 +0000

Dreams may not mean anything, but new research found that many people believe dreams contain important hidden truths, as performed by Sigmund Freud. This information is revealed in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

"Psychologists' interpretations of the meaning of dreams vary widely," said Carey Morewedge, an assistant professor at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh. "But our research shows that many people believe their dreams provide meaningful insight about themselves and the world," he said.

In six different studies, researchers surveyed nearly 1100 people about the dream. In a study on general beliefs about dreams, Morewedge and co-author Michael Norton, assistant professor at Harvard Business School, menyurvei 149 students in the United States, India, and South Korea, and ask them about the different theories about dreams.

In the third culture of this country, a large majority of students held to the theory that dreams reveal hidden truth about themselves and the world, beliefs that are held by a nationally representative sample of Americans, Morewedge.

In another study, Morewedge and colleagues wanted to explore how dreams might influence people's behavior while conscious. A total of 182 commuters in the Boston train station were asked to imagine that one of four possible scenarios had happened the night before a scheduled trip by plane.

"Most people understand that dreams are unlikely to predict the future but that does not prevent them find meaning in their dreams, whether it usual or unusual," he said.

Marriage, Source of Stress?

noreply@blogger.com (Ian) — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 03:25:00 +0000

Marriage can be the greatest source of happiness for us, but it may also the strongest source of stress in life.

In the concept of psychological, marriage is described as "two persons who together". Two people with thoughts, desires, background, and differing expectations, decided to join in a common life.

According to Whiteman, Verghese, and Petersen (1996) there are several things that must be understood couples so that they can manage their relationships well, even when they experience stress.

Where are the stress of marriage appear?

Differences in background
Wife's parents are accustomed to taking out the trash and putting things in place would have felt disturbed by the behavior of husbands who recklessly put his work clothes.

Husband also will expect his wife to stay home and cook his own because his mother used to do just that, while the wife still wants a career because his mother used to be so.

Husband would rather watch a war movie, while his wife chose the show plays on the television soap opera. Wives more often pinched the child's ear as a means of discipline, while the husband feels better to give advice and examples.

All of these background differences are things that can lead to conflict and the couple should discuss these issues with cool heads and compromise.

Differences in style or nature
The husband may like snoring, whereas the wife if you sneeze loudly. Sometimes everyone has habits that make the couple feel disgust or opposite properties, such as the one enclosed, easy to open up their partners. Husband like to succumb, was the partner likes to criticize.

The differences are not insurmountable, but it will cause stress. Gender differences are a result of raised as a male or female.

Husbands and wives need to understand the style and nature of their partner and learn to accept. Any attempt to change the nature of the couple would likely cause the resistance of the couple and of course, can aggravate stress in their relationship.

Differences hopes / dreams
What would happen if the wife longed to live in a tiny house with large garden, but my husband bought an apartment in midtown? What if a husband dreamed of being famous painter, but her partner husband wanted a career in the company? Or that one wants to vacation in the interior of Africa, others want to go to Europe?

We save a lot of mental and emotional energy on our expectations, we should be able to adjust to each other, seeking common ground than differences in expectations because this is part of another conflict in marriage.

Disappointment
When we got married and then we changed partners, it can be fun, but can also disappoint us.

Before marriage, couples only show the positive sides of it, but once it was over they returned to their original side. This all can lead to disappointment for the couple.

With the increasing aging of a person, a lot of husband-wife couples are not satisfied with the condition, which may be graying hair, more body fat, sickly. Often the thoughts that influenced the culture of youth and appearance that still okay increased the discontent and exacerbate the marital relationship.

Usurpation
Although it was agreed the husband is the head of the family, the seizure of power can occur. For example, wives often seek influencing husband decisions, or vice versa.

Scramble of this are not always bad when couples exchange different opinions fairly and not cause a deep sense of losing the partner. Is the exchange that occurs in accordance with the expectations of your partner or not, there remains the potential for the emergence of stress. The best relationship is not that no conflict, but how we can manage conflict well.

Fears of lose the partner
Especially in an era where divorce is rampant, people often fear if the partner will leave them. Wife, for example, feeling anxious because husband did not care anymore. This actually makes the husband further away and wife are getting panic, feeling desperate.

All this is part of the stress that usually comes from within, does not appear in the form of an argument, but the disturbing feeling of each marriage partner. Faced with various aspects of interpersonal stress is important for couples to continue to pursue an open and effective communication.

Protect Your Kids from Bullying (2)

noreply@blogger.com (Ian) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 05:38:00 +0000

According to data from PACER Center (an organization that aims to improve the quality of life for children with limitations), in U.S. each year there are 3.2 million children are victims of bullying, and more than 160,000 children play truant every day because of trauma to the terror they received at school.

If bullying is not taken seriously, perpetrators of bullying can grow into an arbitrary, while the victim of bullying, those who were not confident, depressed, and even be the culprit. Therefore, protect your child from the dangers of bullying, either as victims or the perpetrators.

- Do not underestimate
There are still many parents who consider the class bully younger brother classes as a tradition, as well as the harsh treatment the child receives from his friends often ignored because it will pass with time. It's time to change that view. Establish communication with the child in, give more attention when the child suddenly gloomy and lazy go to school.

- Teach children to protect themselves
Teach children to be self-defense in the sense of avoiding themselves from the victim or the perpetrators of violence. Tell him, "If you hit your friend, you must notify the teacher." Instead of teaching behavior using force to retaliate or defend themselves. In addition, also taught to be assertive or say "no" to things that really should not be done.

In addition, children do not get used to bring expensive items or excess money to the school because it could potentially be a target of bullying the perpetrators. Fertilizer child's self confidence, for example, by actively following the extracurricular activities.

- Community relationships with teachers and parents
Community relations and good communication with teachers at school or other parents. You can get information or to report any cases of bullying to the teacher when your child tells about his friend who was beaten, for example.

Protect Your Kids from Bullying (1)

noreply@blogger.com (Ian) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 05:19:00 +0000

One night, the couple Ben and Linda was surprised to see Mary (14) sits in the window of their bedroom 11th floor apartment with one leg dangling out like a square off the position to leap.

After the events that almost brought disaster, they took Mary to a psychologist. Recently they know, Mary depressed because often derided "bloated" by her friends at school.

Bullying should not be considered reasonable

Actually, bullying does not only include physical violence, such as hitting, grabbing, slapping, snatching, etc, but also can take the form of verbal violence, such as cursing, mocking, gossiping, and the shape of psychological violence, such as to intimidate, isolate, discriminate.

Based on a survey of bullying treatment, most of the victims reported that they received the treatment of psychological abuse (underestimated). Physical violence, such as driven, beaten, and slapped more common among teenage boys.

There are two types of perpetrators of bullying. First, are the main actors, namely those who feel more powerful and initiate acts of violence both physically and psychologically to the victim, and the second is a follower actors, namely those taking part in bullying behavior by group solidarity, conformity, group demands, or to gain acceptance or group recognition.

Outside the offender and the victim is actually a group of witnesses, where witnesses are usually only able to let events take place quietly, doing nothing to help the victims, and often supports the bullying treatment. Witnesses tend to not want to interfere due to fear of becoming the next victim, the victim deserved bully feel, do not want to compound the problem or do not want to know.

The Journey of a child grows into adolescence the aggressor is quite complex, can be influenced by various factors: biological, psychological and social cultural. Biologically, it is possible that some children are genetically predisposed to develop aggression than other children. In his book, Developmental psychopathology, Wenar & Kerig (2002) adds that the high aggression in children can be the result of neurological abnormality.

Psychologically, aggressive children who lack self-control and in fact have low social skills; these children have a low ability of perspective-taking, empathy toward others who do not develop, and misrepresented signals or signs of social, they believe that aggression is a way of solving the problem of appropriate and effective.

If we trace from the family environment, children who develop aggressive behavior grows in the care that is not conducive; children have insecure attachments with caregivers immediate, parental discipline is too harsh or too lenient, and psychological problems are commonly found on the parent ; husband-wife conflict, depression, antisocial act, and perform acts of violence on family members.

Opening Up: Why not? (2)

noreply@blogger.com (Ian) — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 12:29:00 +0000

De Janasz, Dowd, and Schneider (2002) in his book Interpersonal Skills in Organizations provides information on how to open up, the benefits, as well as things that hinder.

Things Revealed
There are signs in the expression of that relationship to be effective:
- More express feelings rather than facts. When we express our feelings towards others, it means that we allow others to recognize who we really are. For example, information on how we develop relationships with our brothers and sisters make other people understand us, rather than simply providing information that we have brothers.

- The expanded and deepened. Maybe we are still experiencing discomfort share experiences with someone who is supposed to be close to us. For it is necessary for the development of relations toward a deeper (more to express feelings towards certain issues) and expanded (by discussing various issues, such as work, family, religious experience, and etc.).

- Focus on the present, not the past. When sharing experiences about the past we used to explain why a particular action is both catharsis (release tension), but can be left feeling that we are weak. This happens especially when the reciprocal openness did not last. So, we better focus on the present situation.

- Reciprocity. We must always match the level of our openness to the level of people's
openness we meet. Be careful, do not open up early, before passing through periods of development of the familiar relationships and mutual trust. On the other hand, when needed, no need to wait for people to open up. Do not be afraid to initiate important steps to build relationships. Give examples, and others will adjust. If people do not respond in a balanced way, stop these steps.

Many Benefits
Self-disclosure has the benefit for each individual and for the relationship between the two parties. By opening up self-disclosure and reply to others, we can improve communication and relationships with others.

In detail, the benefits are:

- Lighten. Sharing with others about themselves or the issues we face, can give the alleviatepsychological conditions. For example, stories about the inability to take an exam or end a relationship with someone. How do we overcome this? How the views of others? By opening up, we gain additional perspective to help themselves to see the point of frustration from the perspective of others.

- Assist the validation (test accuracy) perception of reality. With its own point of view, wemay tend to use size according idealistic self. When we communicate this with the rightperson (who provide sympathetic, supportive, trustworthy, and a good listener), we not only get approval, but also the information needed to better understand ourselves, we need to understand the world in a more realistically.

- Reduce tension and stress. When we deal with tension or stress for any reason, if notdisclosed to develop into explosively. Conversely, if disclosed to others, we will find a way out. Had not got a way out, at least more lightly because we do not feel alone. This can actually make us become closer to other people and add a sense of comfort at that time nor in subsequent relationships.

- Reduces physical. There is a connection between mind and body system. The existence of a positive influence on the mind (due to self-expression), resulting in the physical. Shareor express yourself with others, make us less stress, reduced anxiety, and relieving the heart rate and blood pressure. In other words, self-disclosure can have a positive influenceon physical health, than emotional.

- Chronology of clearer communication. By showing a desire to open up to others, andrespect for self-disclosure to others, then we increase the ability to understand the point of view or different perspective. Thus, we will be more confident to clarify intentions ormeanings of others. Feedback through open discussion, vagueness in communication is minimized.

- Reinforcement of relations. When the between the-co-workers more familiar with eachother, the reciprocal effects occur: openness to develop a sense of fun that more increasingopenness and growing resulting in the strong sense of fun. Without self-expression, the levelof closeness and trust relationships are at a low level. With openness resulting trust, andcooperation generated by the trust. Inside the organization, cooperation and mutual trust isvery important to determine innovation in order to remain able to survive and compete.Moreover, the research found that when more likes between the co-workers work together,they are more productive in working on projects or in a team situation.

Opening Up: Why not? (1)

noreply@blogger.com (Ian) — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 13:56:00 +0000

Self-disclosure are like currencies, has two sides. On the one hand means entering a more mature relationship. The other side, there is a risk scorned and betrayed. However, self-disclosure is a sign of developing healthy relationships that need to be managed.

Sometimes we are amazed by someone who is very open to tell what he thinks, feels, and wants. Despite many difficulties or deficiencies, life as perceived as being mild, and acted without burden.

We can become more comfortable interacting with a person like that. Because it is open, we can be more open, and eventually lasted more intimate relationship and mutual trust.

However, on other occasions, sometimes the other way around. We just feel fed up with someone who is too open yourself up to things that are very personal, we think do not deserve to be told to the crowd.

Let's call him Mr. X, to friends outside the office he told how the habits that occurred in his office: that the project in his department was only 20% are operated, and the other 80% divided between management and certain employees, including himself. He was told it was not based on concerns because he was happy to take part.

At other times, Mr. X tells us that he was there for an appointment with a boss together went into private practice of a psychic for a particular purpose. Not for the affairs of other diseases or disorders, but for the launch of a goal which he did not tell. The story in the environment of people living with full ethical culture rather than create sympathy, scorn instead produce.

This also occurs in intimate conversation previously between a taxi driver (male) with a female passenger. At the end of the conversation, the passenger who previously pleased to hear the story of a taxi driver finally felt humiliated because he was recently flooded with success story of dated with a few women taxi passengers.

In addition to positive and negative conditions as described above, there are other conditions that we can make a reference to determine when and how we should open up.

In a company, Lisa (not her real name) barely laid off after nearly a year of work. The reason, not because he had no ability or irregularities, but because of family problems that interfere, so that its performance as an assistant manager of a very degenerate.

As long as the issue took place Lisa was nervous, but did not dare talk to the boss because he felt unworthy to talk about personal issues with the office. Long story short, when she was reprimanded by the boss, she finally ventured to talk, and eventually changed his superior attribution.

The manager re-placed confidence in the ability of Lisa, and he continued to provide support Lisa in overcoming. Finally, Lisa able to work more quietly because of understandable circumstances. With the boss, but still formal, well developed personal relationships that provide comfort.

Behind the top stories in the face of it we can find that self-disclosure is required, especially in long-term relationships (friendships, marriage, work, etc), and that there should be certain rules so that it is constructive self-disclosure.

Happiness Laws

noreply@blogger.com (Ian) — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 10:05:00 +0000

Various predictions accompanied the whole society in entering the year 2012. The adverse impacts of the crisis overshadow and weaken you to stay happy through this year. However, basically you can still remain happy. What's the secret?

The 7 Laws of Happiness
Three "food" related to ourselves, the three "foods" relates to our relationships with other people as well as a "foods" more to do with God. Three first meal is patience, gratefulness or gratitude, and simplicity. Three second foods is love, giving, and Forgiving. One last meal is surrender.

Everything is influence the minds
Concept of the happiness its focus in mind. We put the wrong foods into our minds.Ordinary food we easily see that we can more carefully insert appropriate to the mouth. But if the mind, it is hard to sort it out if we do not do it seriously.

To deal with a part of the journey of life that are considered poor, often negative thoughts that first emerged.

Then we should really have a realization in advance what will we choose to be happy. We must be aware, even though this is an abstract.

Similarly, in the face of crisis, secret happiness is not determined by the conditions and environment. The secret is in the happy mind. Happy it's actually want what we already got.

Quoting Steven R. Covey, that everyone has the freedom to choose in response to stimulithat come to them.

Ever Cohabiting, Easy to Divorce!

noreply@blogger.com (Ian) — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 09:27:00 +0000

Please be careful if your son or daughter are tempted to "cohabiting" or living together before marriage. According to research conducted by Dr. Catherine L Cohan and Stacey Kleinbaum of Pennsylvania State University, U.S., couples who live together before marriage are more likely a problem in communication between couples thus prone to to divorce.

To 92 couples who were married about two years, the researchers asked their satisfactionin marriage, a history of depression, alcohol abuse, to use physical aggression to solve marital problems. In addition, respondents were also asked to directly address issues surrounding discussions of marriage.

From there it is known, couples who live together before marriage are less positive, and even being negative, when should discuss the issue in the marriage and providing support for their partners. Instead, they are more verbally aggressive and hostile to each other more easily compared with the previous spouse is not cohabiting.

The cause of it all, researchers suspect, there is the possibility of entering a marriage couples who had cohabiting to have a lower commitment. "The climate is very openrelationship that might cause them less motivated to develop the skills of resolving conflicts," the researchers report in the Journal of Marriage and Family.

According to researchers, it is not all cohabiting couples get divorced. However, fact that among couples communication skills they have low, the marriage counselor can begin to fix this shortcoming when dealing with the issue who had cohabiting couples.

Bad Habits, The Relationship Destroyer

noreply@blogger.com (Ian) — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 03:18:00 +0000

Do you know that is not always a big issue like infidelity can be a damaging the relationship. A little things were done without you knowing it, could disrupt the harmony. But, still you can fix it.

Not Satisfied with Body Shape
Why a problem? Your dissatisfaction of the body can affect not only mood, but also can interfere with your relationship with him. You changed so touchy. Speech praising the one who intends, for example by saying, "How thin or fat, you still look beautiful anyway," instead you respond with a tone of annoyance, "So you mean, I'm fat?"

He's good intentions clearly not up to you. Things like this, if allowed to go on will be problems later on. According to relationship expert, dr.Alice Pisciotto, feeling ashamed of her body can lose your passion and your partner. Because, when you feel comfortable in yourself, you tend to not care about other things and this is what will destroy the meaning of closeness with your partner.

Let's fix: Try to accept your body shape, with all the advantages and drawbacks. That way you no longer think negative, when the he said that you pretty or fitness when he invites you along. In addition, be more open, if you are not comfortable with his words. And most importantly, do not ever say to yourself, that you are obese, as this will always make you feel fat.

Angry at the Wrong Time
Why a problem? Communication has become one of the most important key in a relationship. Even so, the communication should also be done in the right place and time. Especially if you want to talk about a serious problem. Grilling him with questions when he was cornered in public is not the proper way.

Let's fix: Hold your emotions when he was in the middle of the show. Wait until I got home or other places more comfortable. If you want to discuss something to him, make an appointment first. Because, talks that will suddenly make him feel intimidated. Avoid solving problems via SMS or e-mail.

Diligent in Complaining
Why be a problem? Sometimes without realizing we often complain about him. From start to his eating habits are not polite, to the busy life that makes it difficult to meet you and your partner. Even if you do it as a form of dissatisfaction with the partner, but your grief willmake it feel being in the midst of enemies who are always looking to attack with shortcomings. And this could turn him away from you, because they feel uncomfortable.

Let's fix: Occasional complained to him, because of his ignorant attitude to you, okay. But try, you do not just complain. Say what you want from it. This will make him understand what you expect from him. You do not have to complain about any behavior, because it can make it feel not good enough to be with you. Moreover, if he can receive all the advantages and disadvantages of you, why you can not accept him strengths and weaknesses?

Vengeance
Why be a problem? Have you ever reply to every thing you get from your partner. For example, when he asked to watch a DVD at home accompanied, you immediately reject it, because a week ago he could not accompanied you to a friend's birthday. You can do this once in a while, but if too often becomes an unhealthy relationship.

Let's fix: A healthy relationship can be said when you and your partner can give and receive the balance. But this does not mean you should always take revenge on him. Your attitude is like this it will make you look childish. When he refused your call, does not mean he did it on purpose. If he had given a clear reason, you should forget your resentment.

Shadowed by the Past
Why be a problem? You always have the fear your partner will make the same mistake asthe former. For example, if your ex-boyfriend once had an affair with her personal trainer at the gym, so now you will try to prevent him from going to the gym. Do you mean perhaps that the same mistakes are not repeated. But unfortunately, you make the rules without considering his feelings.

Let's fix: Actually, something like this is the basic principle of psychology, that someone will use as reference the previous problem solving new problems. However, keep in mind, you had this relationship together with a partner. So, whatever your relationship discuss the rules in advance with your partner. If necessary, provide time to discuss the problems you've experienced with the former. Perhaps his will understand your psychological condition and help find a way out.

Having an Affair

noreply@blogger.com (Ian) — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 02:24:00 +0000

Infidelity will not just happen. However, infidelity can be prevented with a healthy mind and action and is always positive. Well, to begin with, have the following seven specific points that can help couples who are married to always appreciate the unity of the two of them to remain faithful to each other until the end of their life.

1. Keep your household together! Do occasionally provide opportunities to others who could threaten your marriage life.

2. Recognizing the workplace can be a dangerous area. So, avoid to always skip lunch orjust 'coffee' alone with a man the same. If you have a business trip with co-workers opposite gender, always have a meeting in a public place, and not in your room or in his room.

3. Avoid emotional intimacy with someone, other than your regular partners. Opponent with a strong desire to help a friend opposite gender that is often talked about her personal life to you.

4. Protect your marriage with your relationship problems always discuss with your partner. If it is necessary to speak to someone other than your partner about your marriage, make sure that person is your close friend or two close relatives, or family.

5. Avoid the 'old love blossomed again'! If your ex girlfriend will come in force reunion, invite couples to attend. If you value your marriage, think twice for lunch or dinner with a former girl/boyfriend.

6. Do not cross the line. If chatting with friends on the internet, be open to the couple. Show him who you chat. Invite your partner to join the chat to my friends know, you already have and they are not missing something friendly and familiar attitude towards you. And remember, do not let swapping sexual fantasies in cyberspace!

7. Make sure you always support social networks of married life both of you. Always surround yourself with friends who have a happy married life.

Check Your Self-Control Ability (2)

noreply@blogger.com (Ian) — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 08:39:00 +0000

Increasing age, a person is expected to further develop the ability to control the behavior.From where the source control one's behavior? The source can be divided into two: factors inside and outside of oneself.

Control the behavior that originates from within usually referred to as an internal control, and that comes from outside themselves are called external control. In self-control (internal), individuals regulate their own behavior and performance standards; reward for herself when successfully achieving goals; and punishing herself when not managed to reach the goal.

On the other hand, the external control, the individual puts the other person as the determinant of (the cause) of behavior, performance standards, and the rewards gained.

Of the two types of behavior control, personal control (internal) were considered more valuable. As long as we rely on external control, our lives are largely determined by others. Instead, by developing self-control (internal) means we control two things: ourselves and the world around us.

Self-Control Problem
As explained above, self-control is well developed will provide many benefits to a person. However, in reality we are not all capable of self-control consistently.

Our self-control capabilities vary. There are people who are often too much to drink (to get drunk), the other too much to eat, others more easily lose control of emotions, tend to delay the work, and others. How this can be happening?

As with any self-control, self-control is weak also develop through the learning process. For example, a teenager who still impulsive, which is always angry when his wish was fulfilled, it is likely to be so because as a child his parents always comply with all requests (functioning as a reward) each time the child was whining to ask anything, even more when the child getting angry.

When such rewards this pattern occurs repeatedly, it means that the child undergo a process of learning that his request would be met if accompanied by angry. Subsequently they developed a pattern of angry behavior every time the request has not been met.

Someone who has a habit of delaying the work, may be so because since childhood accustomed to working under pressure parents (functioning as a punishment). In such a situation he was motivated to do the task just to avoid punishment. Consequently, in a situation without any pressure, it tends to laze around.

Check Your Self-Control Ability (1)

noreply@blogger.com (Ian) — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 08:18:00 +0000

Each person needs the freedom to be creative and to actualize themselves. On the other hand, control of the self-regulation is necessary as on the encouragement and capabilities, both physical, psychological, and behavioral.

Acting without thinking is a characteristic inherent in children. They act spontaneously.When the pain they will weep anywhere, anytime, and under what circumstances. When happy, healthy children will be running around, scribbling, shouting excitedly, or do what ever they want.

Imagine if this kind of behavior by adolescents or adults. Of course quite strange. We will bevery annoyed if someone who no longer find the kids act as they pleased, letting impulsesor desires that are selfish just manifested.

The more a person gets older, she is expected to have more control over their own behavior. In other words, the more developed the ability to control themselves.

Self-control is the effect or the regulation of one's physical, behavioral, and psychological processes. This is a very important thing in someone's life.

Why?

First, self-control plays a role in one's relationship with others. This is not separated from the fact that we do not live alone, but in groups, in the community. In fact, we have personal needs such as food, drink, warmth, and so on. To meet these needs we need to control yourself in such a way, so as not to disturb others.

Second, self-control plays a role in the achievement of personal goals. Every person, fromany culture, always hoping to achieve certain goals in life. For example, the goal to have acertain competence, achieving personal maturity, and so forth, in accordance with the standards in society.

In order to achieve these objectives we need to learn and strive constantly, and control by delaying the instant gratification of needs in order to achieve long-term goals.

By developing the ability to control himself as well as possible, we will be personally effective, so it can consistently feel happy, free from guilt, live more constructively, can accept yourself, and also accepted by society.

Men with Longer Ring Finger, Smarter for Making Money

noreply@blogger.com (Ian) — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 08:02:00 +0000

Size a man's finger, which describe whether he's smart to make money or not. Similarly, a study reveals.

Scientists from Cambridge University found that the brokers who work in the stock exchanges have longer ring fingers than index fingers. This shows that they are smarter about making money.

This relationship may be associated with exposure to testosterone when they are in the womb. Such records of the National Academy of Science reveals.

Exposure is what allows the ability to make decisions quickly which also was associatedwith aggression.

Ratio of ring finger with the index finger is determined in the womb is also associated with previous success in sports competition.

The researcher, John Coates and his team reported last year proved, too, testosterone is left in the morning in a sizable amount is successfully managed to make the broker made money from the transactions made on the morning that day.

These findings concluded based on study of 44 male traders in London. Some of themcould generate revenues of more than 4 million pounds a year.

More than 20 months of the traders with longer ring fingers are 'printing' money eleven times than relatively shorter ring finger.

Scientists believe that exposure of aggression testosterone hormone in the womb is what increases the ability of concentration and business reflexes.

Unfortunately, Belgian scientists actually found that men with longer ring fingers tend to lack social sense. They are more parsimonious. Conversely, those with shorter ring fingers tend to be more easily spend the money.

Study leader, Kobe Millet, said, "These findings tell us that testosterone levels are exposed from birth affect all human behavior throughout his life."
Similar studies were also seen in women.

The Art of Decision Making (2)

noreply@blogger.com (Ian) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 15:24:00 +0000

By the time we took the decision with not much consideration, there is some tendency of our mental work spontaneously without realizing it. There is a positive trend, positive-negative, and some are negative.

Everything is formed because of habituation so it appears in this issue, namely the extent to which we get a positive trend that is not dominated by a negative thing.

The tendency of mental work

* PositiveIntuition is one positive thing. Intuition is the ability to know or recognize quickly and ready for the possibility that could occur in certain situations.

Nevertheless, it must be admitted that the decision-making is not enough just to rely on intuition. It would be better when combined with analytical and rational approach. Intuition is very useful especially in situations of decision making that risky or uncertain.

Creativity is also a positive trend. In decision making, creativity means developing unique responses related to problems and opportunities that exist at the time. It can develop when a person develops intuition.

* Positive-NegativeJudgmental heuristic is a form of assessment that is both simple (take shortcuts) in decision making. This has a positive value because it reflects the efficiency of mental work. However, this heuristic evaluation could result unfocused in the assessment so misleading in decision making.

At least there are two types of heuristic evaluation:
- Availability heuristic: judge something based solely on experience or information stored in the memory appraiser. For example, we decided to buy a certain product because a friend who experienced positive information with such products, although not necessarily fit with us.
- Representativeness heuristic: judge things based on the assumption has features in common with the characteristics of the group. For example, accepting a job applicant simply because he comes from a particular university that we know well. The problem is not all output alma mater is a reliable quality.

* NegativeNegative mental tendencies which covers a person's tendency to retain previous judgments or decisions despite feedback that does not support that assessment. This tendency is called an increase in commitments (escalating commitment).

Good decision makers know when he should change his decision, that is when he realizes that the decisions and commitments undertaken at this time it did not work very well.

Increased commitment to negative occurs when: (1) negative feedback is ignored, regarded as something temporary, (2) decision makers to protect the ego by not recognizing that the decision is wrong; (3) using a decision taken only to give a certain impression, eg wanting to be seen as head of the firm (thus taking authoritarian decisions).

Develop a positive Schermerhorn, Hunt & Osborn (1995) has adopted the tips to develop intuitive decision-analytical. Tips include three stages: relaxation techniques, mental training, and analytical techniques. All three can be done in a separate, but when we are really faced with a problem that must be decided the solution.

* Relaxation Technique
- Get rid of problems that exist for a while.
- Create quiet time for ourselves.
- Try to clear the mind (state of no-mind).

* Mental Exercise
- Use your imagination to guide our thinking.
- Let the ideas you have in mind to flow unimpeded.
- Train to accept a state of uncertainty (ambiguity) and receive also poor us to control it.

* Analytical Techniques
- Discuss the problems that exist with someone else who has a different perspective with us.
- Have the problems that existed at the time we are on full alert to deal with it.
- Take enough pause before making a final decision.

As Benjamin Franklin, we can make decisions effectively, wisely, and be accepted by many parties. To that end, in addition to the tips above, we also have to consider several criteria for ethical decisions :

* The decisions taken in such a way as to provide goodness not only to himself, but also to the many people involved.
* Does not violate the rights of others (right speech, privacy).
* Wearing a rule that is not unfocused (fair)

The Art of Decision Making (1)

noreply@blogger.com (Ian) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 15:16:00 +0000

Consider a problem of the pros and cons, think of any reason, and seeking common ground for three or four days to make decisions is a habit which Benjamin Franklin's called moral algebra. He was pleased with the habit because it can assess with a better and more responsible.

Benjamin Franklin is a very effective human figures in various functions, ie, business, military, politics, science, and diplomacy. In his day (XVIII century), he was a pioneer in various fields, namely the mobile library, fire department, almanac, Pennsylvania Academy (now University of Pennsylvania), the American Philosophical Society, to chair the drafting in U.S.

The more a person's function or role, the more he is involved problem solving and decision making.The thing to note from Benjamin's personal decision-making is that he managed to choose the right and wise in many ways to produce success. He also left a nice impression for many people.

He is a member of the community who greatly admired many people since I was very young. As an illustration, at the age of 30 years he has been selected as model citizens in Pennsylvania.

When you look at how Benjamin in taking decisions, perhaps we laugh, why it took him three or four days? Is still relevan with the situation now? When joked about it, there also can be ridiculed and questioned from ourselves. Still we will you consider what the decision is in our hands more wisely, in no particular hurry?

Variety of problems

As an adult, every day we are faced with a situation to make a decision. Taking food menu decisions everyday family certainly does not need to days.However, to make decisions about the fate of someone or something important to many people, both within the family (deciding the purchase of vehicles, choosing a partner, work, or school, breaking the psychological problems of children) and about other people, such as the hiring of employees, develop rules , put together a program, and others, of course need careful consideration.

As an adult, we are often overly confident (over confidence), felt he had matured and understand many things, so quickly convinced by our own decisions. Moreover, the effectiveness of present-day humans is often measured only by its speed to solve problems and make decisions.

More fatal, there is found the fact that every decision is taken always to bear fruit as the reward money so that more decisions are taken, the more money flowing into the pockets.Such things are finally led to the rush to solve problems and make decisions.

Hurry will only give birth to a premature decision. Like a mother who gave birth prematurely, she quickly felt physically lighter, but ultimately bear the burden of another, namely the quality of life is at risk of physical and mental weakness in babies born.

Similarly, a premature decision-making, producing quality decisions that harm ourselves and others.In the workplace, perhaps an organization's leadership decided to reject the proposal someone just because of age or gender. However, ultimately regret arises because five years later the applicant's name appeared in the media because of his work is important.

Alert! Negative Words Faster Recordable

noreply@blogger.com (Ian) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 15:00:00 +0000

Believe it or not, were our brains much faster conscious record of negative words. This is known after the University College London conducted a study involving 50 volunteers who were asked to look at the words in the computer screen.

Those words appeared in a few seconds. Then the participants were asked to remember and mention it. Lead researcher Professor Nilli Lavie told, the words that exist on the computer screen consisting of positive words, such as peaceful, happy, and flowers.

Among the positive words, then inserted the negative words, such as suicide, sadness, and irony. But not only positive words and negative there, Lavie also mentions neutral words in it, such as boxes, teapots, and ears.

When the process of choosing words, which participants were asked to classify positive words, negative, and neutral. The result, it turns out most of the words that classification accuracy is the negative words.

Lavie interest in doing this research actually began from so many speculations about the human ability to process emotional information unconsciously, for example, facial expressions and words.

"But from this research, we can understand that actually emotional values strong recorded in the subconscious 'recorder'. And the emotional value of the most easily recalled are negative messages," Lavie explained.

It also shows, basically how humans will react very quickly to emotional information. "So when we see someone carrying a knife when we're driving in the pouring rain, a quick message in the head are called DANGER," Lavie explained, mentioning that researchhas been published in the Emotion journal.

Tips to Forget Your Anger

noreply@blogger.com (Ian) — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 10:41:00 +0000

The past are often a bad memory store that we want to delete from memory. Unfortunately,not easy to break free from anger or resentment. In fact, research shows that most diseases originate from anger in the heart.

Anxiety, depression, anxiety, insomnia, and physical illness is a bit of disease caused by factors temper earlier. By forgiving and say the word sorry, actually we have to take back control of our lives. Plus bonuses for positive health. One of them is drop in the blood pressure.

In a study of The Stanford-Ireland Hope Project, Frederic Luskin PhD and Carld Thoresen PhD doing research on the impact of forgiveness. In this study involved 17 men and women whose family members had been victims of homicide. For some time the respondents were given training "to forgive".

After one week, 35 percent of the respondents who have lost spouses, children, parents, orsiblings it reported was reduced headache disease. Likewise, the various other stress-related illnesses. Meanwhile, 20 percent of respondents claimed to decrease symptoms of depression.

Many people admit, gave apologize words is not easy. However, there are 5 ways that we can use more sincere hearts to to forgive as described by Joan Borysenko PhD, the author of Inner Peace for Busy People.

1. Understanding the meaning of to forgive
In general, people do not want to forgive because they feel it is tantamount to stating that other people do not make mistakes or we make peace with people who have been hurt us.

Joan Borysenko PhD, psychologist, says, to forgive is about letting go of the anger that had been holding you. This is tantamount to accept you are wrong and decides to liberate yourself from hurtful things.

2. Grief for the lost
So that we can genuinely to forgive, we must feel the grief. It takes time, but once youdecide to release the anger, the heart will feel lighter gradually. In time, the memory on theevents of the past will be less remembered and it was no longer painful.

3. Do not wait for an apology
Sometimes people who we think has hurt us do not realize his actions are wrong. Or maybethey were not able to understand and empathize. Apology from the person can indeed heal wounds, but decided to throw away any hopes of an apology as well have the same impact.

4. Trying to understand the reasons
The fact is, bad behavior is the result of a less mature emotion. This is evident from the majority of perpetrators of crime who suffered physical or psychological violence inchildhood. Empathy will help us to erode the sense of anger, and even change our lives.

5. Welcome to the future
Life is a school where we learn many things, including painful. We can not avoid pain, but we can choose to opt out of the shadows of our life-long grudges.

Choosing to let go and move on will make you into a new individual. This will give you maturity and compassion to others and also yourself.

Frustration? No Way!

noreply@blogger.com (Ian) — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 09:51:00 +0000

In certain situations we may experience frustration. The problem is how to deal with it, evenprevent it, in order not to turn aggressive, especially depressive and commit suicide.

Richard Bugelski & Anthony M Graziano (1980) states, is feeling frustrated, angry or upsetas a result are unable to do anything because external conditions are not as desired. Frustration can also arise when a person is prevented from doing something he wanted.

Another expert, Leonard Berkowitz (1995), states that frustration is a person's internal emotional reaction when the environment is felt to obstruct or hinder the achievement of its objectives.

Sigmund Freud, psycho analysis expert, stated that in our personalities are childish part that is always demanding immediate fulfillment of all desires. When the desire "child" in our personality is blocked, we get angry or emotional behavior appeared less mature.

Based on Freud's theory, two psychologists, namely John Dollard and Neal Miller, statingthat frustration occurs when highly motivated individuals who face barriers in reaching the goal. Barrier or barriers may be physical, psychological, or symbolic.

According to their view, the desired results have been previously expected. So, people who have no hope would never have experienced the frustration.

Special Behavior
John B Watson, psychologist, stating that we were born to bring the three basic emotional patterns that are ready we show that there are appropriate stimulus. Three basic emotional patterns that are fear, anger, and love.

Emotional behavior patterns that arise due to frustration is usually in the form of anger.People who desire impeded or obstructed, his frustration will grow. His behavior becomesless directional and emotional (irritability). In fact, peaks anger can lead to aggression or violence.

Any aggressive actions are usually motivated state of frustration. However, in a state of frustration, people do not always become aggressive. Those who do not become aggressive is generally withdraw from social life, looking for other satisfactions, or become disillusioned and depressed.

Practicing tolerance
In everyday life we learn that many desirable things are not easy to achieve. When we put the expectations too high and could not reach it, which is obtained frustration. Instead, put the expectations are too low, but can reach, but underestimate it, eventually we just lose the opportunity that is not necessarily going to happen again.

To overcome the frustration, we need to have some sort of level or levels of tolerance for frustration. Tolerance to frustration should be trained from childhood.

Hopefully, in adulthood they are trained to face the disappointment and more resilientagainst frustration. In adults, frustration tolerance can be trained with a more realistic face reality and do not put too high expectations.

We also need to expand the association to raise awareness of the possibilities or other opportunities that we can actually achieve. Who knows of the little things we can develop agreat satisfaction and pride?

Many examples of great men, rich, and famous who started with little things, which we might take for granted before. Most importantly we do everything with all my heart, good, and earnestly.

Why Men Hobby is Seeing Adult Site?

noreply@blogger.com (Ian) — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 09:10:00 +0000

Fotolia

It's no secret that many men like to watch pornographic material. According to the 2011 Survey Tracking by the Pew Internet & American Life Project, 35 % of male Internet users frequently access the site specifically adult males. Compare with women, only 3 % who had a similar habit.

Hobby of a man in pornographic material is often concerned reaction from their partner.

"Usually the women feel pressured by their partner hobby because they feel as sexy as a porn star," said Lonnie Barbach, PhD, sex therapist from San Francisco, United States.

The big question is, why the men like to see a picture or a video man naked? This questionmay be somewhat difficult to answer. Experts say, how the passion that arises after viewing pornographic material relating to many parts of the brain.

One theory, neural mirror plays an important role in the onset of arousal in men. These brain cells will react not only when an action is taken, but also when we only observe. That is why, looking at pornographic images can excite just as if there is a real object in front of the eye.

Another theory says, the brain naturally men very easily aroused, so he is ready to have sex all the time. Therefore, when viewing pornographic material, mirror nerves in the brain will catch it as the real thing.

The experts also claim that pornography addiction can cause effects that the process is the same as addiction to cocaine and other addictive substances. Addiction resulted in the front center of the brain to shrink.

Shrinkage of brain cells that produce dopamine, a chemical trigger pleasure, that disrupt neuro transmitter or message sender.

The Brain Sections that Make Fear of Losing Money

noreply@blogger.com (Ian) — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 08:34:00 +0000

Fear of losing money may be an ordinary thing in humans. A study by experts from California, United States, has recently managed to find parts of the brain that triggers the fear of losing money.

In a research report published in the proceedings journal of the National Academy of Sciences, the experts identified a brain region called amiglada responsible for one's behavior while risking something. When amiglada not working properly, a person tends to take risks.

Amiglada is part of the brain that consists of two networks for almonds. This section is associated with feelings and perceptions of fear and the ability to empathize.

These findings, the researchers say, offer an understanding of economic behavior andsuggests that humans evolved to be cautious about the prospect of losing food or other valuable property.

The author of this research, Benedetto De Martino of the California Institute of Technologyin Pasadena and the University College of London claim this study may explain why people will reject the bet even if there are opportunities produce a victory.

"Evidence of laboratory and reality shows, people often avoid the risk of losing even whenthey may obtain greater results, the choice of a behavior called loss aversion," said the researcher.

"We think this shows that amiglada very important role in triggering a sense of cautiontowards the establishment of a bet when people might lose," said Colin Camerera from College London University who is also involved in research.

"Amiglada fully functioning seems to make us more cautious. We already know thatamiglada involved in the process of concern, and it seems also to make us afraid to face the risk of losing money," said a member of another researcher, Ralph Adolphs.

Who Am I ???

noreply@blogger.com (Ian) — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 08:08:00 +0000

This is a fundamental question that needed the answer to every human being. Called apsychologically healthy individual if it finds itself as a unique individual with no separation from others. Despite his feelings blend with everyone, he did not immerse himself in the group wearing alias blindly mass identity.

"I'm a businessman", "I'm a cop", "I'm a doctor", "I am an American", "I am of Arab descent," "I am Muslim," "I am a Catholic", and so is the statement that can be verymeaningful . Nationality, ethnicity, religion, status / profession often help give a sense of identity before someone found the original and unique.

To find out the awareness about the true identity within ourselves, it is conceivable toassume a situation when someone asks, "Who am I think you know?" Perhaps no one answered, "You're a successful businessman" or "You're a Christian European", and others.

Are we satisfied with knowing our identity like that? Are we already feel very valuable to our membership in a group of nationality, ethnicity, religion, status / profession?

Such an answer would not be enough to satisfy people who have discovered who the real him. He just would be satisfied if given appropriate answers to the introduction of self isunique, like "You're the person unique: firm but gentle as well," or "You are looking recidivists, but be angels," and others.

However, the discovery of true self-identity is not as short as those answers. The most fundamental in the discovery of true self-identity is a feeling as unique individuals, feeling 'I'as a central and active subject of its potential, and experience who she is, free from the pressure of a particular authority.

The opposite of self-discovery of identity is a state of identities of individuals who rely on things that are external, generally depending on the group where it belongs.

Not everyone can find a true identity. The majority of us still wearing the identity of the masses: ignore the potential for thinking-feeling-acting in the original suit "taste" of their life.We replace them with thoughts, feelings, and actions in accordance with desired by the group in which we are part or desired by a particular authority.

Identity needs

"I shall be as you wish" is the title of a drama that never existed. Erich Fromm in his book,The Sane Society, see that the drama was written by Pirandello reflects the conditions in which a person's sense of identity rests on a sense of which is owned by the crowd without being questioned (criticized).

Uniformity (uniformity in thinking, feeling, and acting) and conformity (following attitudes and behaviors of the group) is often not recognized and sheathed with illusion of individuality.

According to Fromm, the problem is not a sense of identity as understood people in general : simply regarded as a philosophical problem. The need for a sense of identity out of the basic conditions of human existence and is the source of a very intense struggle."Because I can not be healthy without feeling I am, I am compelled to do whatever it takes toget a taste of it."

Fromm explains further, beyond suffering severe, status and conformity is so needed and sometimes more powerful than the need to survive physically.

It can be seen from the fact people are willing to risk life, sacrificing love, give up freedom, sacrificed for the sake of ideas becomes a conformist group, and there by gain a sense of identity, although only an illusion.

Society

The fact mentioned by Fromm in 1955 with the context of American society is still visible in our society today. The identity of the visible mass of people who do not dare to think, think, behave, and act differently from the group where he became part despite his group made a mistake.

The identity of the mass of the phenomenon also appears when the youth, mothers, fathers,and children were herded to take action (demonstrations or go with the flow of certain mind) without really understanding its meaning.

When asked why he did the action, the answer given will be sought in accordance with what is expected by some parties who have authority over him or by the command.

It appears that the answer given is not sourced from the original thoughts or feelings from within him. Their expressions seemed empty with moving eyes searching. Or conversely, it is exaggerated in expression, but it still appears as a imitator.

We also easily find how the adults (not just young people or children) are happy to declare,"I just run the command" or too often stated, "According to the instructions .......".

At the family level, many parents are experiencing keotoriteran rulers continue that approach in the family.

Not only the otoriteran that allows the development of mass identities. In society, we can also see a variety of lifestyles have become so important and "regulate" how people develop their self identity.

Anxiety people seem to always be able to follow a certain lifestyle in general smelling materialism. They have illusions "discover the identity of self" by being part of a group with a certain lifestyle.

Identity and morality

"Shame" is expected by society when a person known to perform immoral acts, violatingthe norms of society. Shyness is a sign that a person's thoughts and feelings into consideration the community at large.

Having a sense of shame is better than not having a sense of shame when someone isdoing immoral. However, if only to have a sense of shame, without feeling guilty for havingdenied his own voice, it means he is still an opportunity themselves to perform immoral actsfollowing, provided not known by the public. Identity developed people like this still a massidentity.

The most important thing to do when someone immoral is a sense of guilt for havingreneged on her own voice. This indicates that the person concerned has developed a self-identity is not only on the authority of the masses, but has also been in contact with the inner voice which is the true source of identity that can be owned by each person.

Mentally healthy

Physical needs (eating, drinking, sex) is a basic human need that is not different from animals. Although these basic needs are fully satisfied, not a guarantee for health andmental well-being.

Fromm argued that health and mental well-being depends on thesatisfaction of the needs of a typical human: the need for openness of the relationship,transcendence (realized as a human creation and the need to address the situation as the creation of a passive), sustainability mixtures (finding the roots of a new human), sense of identity and orientation framework (intellectual) and devotion. It appears the need for a sense ofidentity is one of the typical human needs.

When basic needs are not met, will develop unhealthy conditions. Despite being met, if it issatisfied in a way not satisfactory, there will be consequences of the development ofneurosis (mental disorder in a state still can interact with others based on reality).

In summary, Fromm explains, mental health is characterized by the ability to love and createa break away from the ties of clan incest and ground water, with a sense of identity based on the experience of ourselves as subjects and actors impulses himself, by capturing reality in and outside the self, through the development of objectivity and reason.