Free Parenting Classes

Healing The Critical Parent

noreply@blogger.com (Jack Bauer) — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 07:56:00 +0000

Audio file explains the inner 'critical parent' and how to change it into a loving, nurturing voice. A life-altering meditative technique for anyone who suffers from inner self-criticism.

Check it out!

Why parents need to enclose your children before marriage

noreply@blogger.com (Jack Bauer) — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 04:54:00 +0000

We live in an age when love, sex and intimacy seem to be many people's epitome of happiness. Yes, we seek other ways to find happiness and fulfillment, but the rate of divorce and the percentage of single parent families compared with two-parent families tells me that parenting is either of less importance to parents than marriage or that they are uninformed about the effects of divorce on their children. Parents who leave an unhappy marriage for the sake of their children are not in possession of all the facts or are misguided in their belief that divorce is in the best interest of the children. The best wisdom out there says that children of divorce suffer more than children of unhappy marriages.
Here are 7 reasons why parents should put parenting before marriage.
1. Children need two parents more than they need a perfect home
The influence of both a male and female parent on a child's development cannot be understated. A good mother, on balance brings a nurturing, protecting and comforting aspect to a child's life, while a good father brings his child stability, security and strength. Mothers tend to be more emotional, fathers more rational. Mothers tend to be more understanding, fathers more decisive. A good mother may offer her child a shoulder to cry on while a good father may show his child how to get up and move on.
Of course, a good parent possesses all these qualities and shares the responsibility for providing their child with all their needs. But it is in the nature of a male parent to provide a child with answers and solutions and direction while it is more inherent in a female parent to be protective of a child's emotional well-being and to be a good listener without feeling the need to give her child a logical solution to their problem.
Having both a male and female parent present in the home teaches a child how to explore and develop both the masculine and feminine aspects of their own character. In balanced adults there is a healthy presence of both male and female characteristics. In women, the balance will tend to be more feminine and in men, more masculine. If a child is to have the best chance to develop emotional stability then two parents are needed on a daily basis. Even the slightest change in the balance will have an adverse effect on a child's emotional and intellectual development.
2. A child has a right to be brought up by two parents
Marriage is a choice that two people make for themselves. It is rarely a selfless or altruistic act. People marry because they find someone who brings them happiness and fulfilment in life. Of course, there is also the promise to live to make the other person happy. Even though the phrase "for better or for worse" is still often said in the marriage vows, more and more this promise is being broken as married couples find it's a promise they are unable or unwilling to keep.
However, when a child is born into the marriage, it has rights which far outweigh the needs of the parents. Even though a couple desire to be fulfilled in their personal relationship with each other, a child has the right to be brought up by two loving, caring, selfless parents: parents who put their child's interests before their own.
Parents rarely make a commitment to their children when they are born, but children ought to expect that their parents will do whatever it takes to give them a stable, loving home in which to grow and develop. In a good parent, the rights and needs of their child will always come before their own, whatever the cost to themselves.
3. To be a parent is a moral obligation - not a choice
There is never a time as long as a parent and a child are living when they will not be connected. Even if estranged, a parent will always be the parent to their child. There is no divorcing a child. There is no saying to a child 'I'm sorry, I don't love you anymore, this simply isn't going to work'. But when two parents say that to each other, they are in some measure saying it to their child. Parents may put a spin on divorce by saying to the child 'it's better for you in the long run' but the truth is - it isn't. A child's perspective will be 'you don't love me enough to stay together and make your marriage work' - even if only subconsciously. While some may say 'I'm glad my parents split up - I couldn't stand the shouting', what would they have said if their parents had found a way to make the marriage work in order to keep the family home together? Or are they even aware of the effects that growing up in a broken home has had on them?
The love between a husband and wife can wane or even be extinguished, but the love of a good parent is unconditional and unmovable. A marriage can breakdown and be dissolved, but the love that a good parent has for their child can never be diminished and their commitment to their child can never be undermined or broken. The commitment that a parent has to their child is not one based on choice, it's one based on moral obligation. It would be even better if it were based on unconditional love. What lengths would a good parent go to to provide their child with the very best upbringing they could if they truly loved them more than themselves?
4. A child deserves and expects it
During their formative years, children depend upon both parents to show that they are committed to them. They need to see that they are loved and to know that their home is stable and secure. They need to know that no matter what storms the family has to face together, the foundations of the family home cannot be shaken. Children need the certainty that the love their parents have for them comes above their own personal happiness - that it indeed comes before their love for each other. When a parent puts a child's interests second to their own it will make their child feel unloved and second-rate. The child will begin to doubt their own worth and their value to the parent. After all, what kind of love puts someone else second?
If a child doesn't deserve a parent's unconditional and undying love then who does? Children are vulnerable and need protecting. Parents have a responsibility to give their child the best parenting they possibly can whatever the cost to themselves. A child has no reserves on which to draw to cover the emotional shortfall which results from growing up in a broken home. Parents, on the other hand should be prepared to go into emotional debt if they have to in order to make sure their child does not grow up emotionally poor or crippled.
5. Spouses can expect too much from each other, but children never expect too much from their parents.
Marriages are not perfect, neither are parent-child relationships. But a child deserves understanding, provision, support, affection, and security moreso than a spouse. After all, when two people get married, they make an agreement to love each other and provide for each other's needs. When a child is born, no such agreement takes place. A child simply grows up expecting all that's coming to them. When one person in a marriage fails to uphold their part of the agreement, the other has every right to withdraw their own part of the agreement. So often, when the love that one has for the other depends on what they 'get' out of the relationship, if they ain't 'getting' then the love dies. But this only works one way with a child-parent relationship.
When a child fails to be a perfect child, a parent cannot abandon them or withdraw their love from them. The child still has the right to expect to be loved unconditionally. Children owe nothing to their parents, but parents owe everything to their children. If a child fails to love a parent as they would like to be loved, the parent must go on loving their child nonetheless. The child has no debt of love to pay to the parent. But if a parent loves their child unconditionally, that child will grow up to love their parent too. If a parent fails to love their child more than themselves, the child will withdraw from the parent to a greater or lesser degree.
Even though good parents will fail their child in some measure, a child's expectations of the parents are always right - even if unrealistic. Good parents will always understand that they are not married to their child - they are inextricably connected and committed to their child and that a child has a birthright to expect unreserved love and commitment from their parents regardless of how much a child returns their parents' affections or lives up to their expectations.
6. A broken home results in a broken child
Somewhere along the way, when a child is brought up by one parent or by two parents who live apart, something in the child is lost or broken. Having two parents who could not find it in themselves to stay together to give them a stable home will have a detrimental effect on a child. It may not emerge till later in life, but a person from a broken home may find it difficult to make strong emotional connections with others. Statistics show that people from single-parent homes are less successful in life - even years afterwards - than those from two-parent families.
While parents may argue that they split up for the child's sake, in actuality, it's rare that divorce ever benefits a child. Growing up in a home even where parents are disconnected or in constant disagreement gives a child more stability and normality than growing up where they have to deal with the loss of the two-parent home. A child growing up in a broken home grows up grieving for the intact home where two parents are available on a daily basis to provide them with the moral, emotional and intellectual support essential to their development and nourishment. The best parenting cannot be done over the telephone or on weekends. The best parenting is done on a daily basis and in partnership with the other parent. No matter how parents try to justify divorce, it will nearly always result in a broken child.
7. Putting parenting first may save a marriage
Children should never be used as an excuse not to leave a marriage, but they can be the reason why a parent would stay in a marriage. The difference is that if a parent knows that to provide their child with a stable, loving and peaceful home in which to grow up will give them the best possible start in life, it may give them the resolve they need to work harder at their marriage than if they had not been a parent. Whereas, not leaving a marriage for the sake of a child is a mindset which can result in a parent putting too much responsibility on their child to bring them personal happiness.
If parents can proactively take steps to make a marriage workable so that their child has the home they deserve, they may find that their marriage becomes less of a disappointment. Focusing on the needs of their child and resolving to work at their relationship for the sake of their child doesn't necessarily mean that the marriage is false or a sham. It merely shifts the priorities of the marriage. Nor does it mean that the child carries the burden of keeping the marriage together. It merely requires a level of giving to the child that supercedes the parents' desire to take from each other. Providing a child with a good home is one of the best reasons two people can stay together.
Who said that romance or sex or a great social life are the only reasons to be married? Surely, providing a child with a loving home is as good, if not, a better reason for working at a marriage than all the others put together? The result of working at the marriage wouldn't be to prevent the pain of separation for the parents, it would be the enduring and immeasurable investment that they make in the well-being and personal development of their child. If parents can keep their child the focus of their ambitions and desires, they can find ways they otherwise wouldn't have done to make their marriage workable and as enjoyable as possible and thus provide their child with the parents and the home they deserve.
http://stayforyourchildren.com

Stephen Rees
Having worked at a difficult marriage for 20 years in order to bring up my two children my desire is to encourage and help other parents in a similar situation to do the same. My core belief on parenting is that a good parent can find ways of making a marriage work - even if not fulfilling - in order to provide their children with a stable, happy home in which to grow up.
The modern belief that leaving a bad marriage for the sake of the children has no evidential basis. In fact, studies on both sides of the Atlantic have shown that children who come from homes where both parents are present even if the marriage isn't a good one, develop better emotionally and intellectually than those who come from broken homes. Parents who are considering divorce should take notice of this evidence if they truly want the best for their children.
My book "How To Be A Good Parent In A Bad Marriage" provides encouragement and support for parents who find themselves struggling to cope with the stresses and traumas of being a parent in an unhappy marriage, and shows how you can find happiness and fulfillment in life while being a great parent to your children.
http://stayforyourchildren.com

Parenting: how to get two parents on the same page

noreply@blogger.com (Jack Bauer) — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 00:14:00 +0000

E. my spouse cannot agree on how to raise our children. I believe that my spouse is too rigid and my spouse believes that I am very gentle. Meanwhile, children are getting away with everything. What to do?

A. This is an excellent and all-too-common question. Thus, in a manner typical therapist, I'm going to start my answer a question.

Where in the world did we get the idea that both parents should agree to every aspect of parenting; supposed to somehow, we believe that two separate individuals, who grew up with different models of how parent (if they had been in all models), life different experiences and possibly different temperaments, going to come together and agree on all aspects of the complex task of parenting.

Sorry, just don't buy it.

Not only this is unenforceable meaning in the real world, it can be a disastrous as well. The best goal, of course, it would be for these two different people to combine their respective parenting styles to a group of regular and supportive parenting is difficult, although it can occur.But when they believe the lie for having always to agree, you can set up a power struggle between two adults.

All of us are right and we tend to fight for. In many cases, instead of coming together as a team, parents grow distance and distance between two lamps, strictly adhering to their own style.

A person with a more aggressive style has something to learn from someone with a more lenient style, and vice versa, but instead of learning from each other, this is more strict and gentle is more lenient. This creates, at best, criticism and discontent, and a large enough for a child to drive a truck through vacuum children suffering, and parents alliloexoydeterwnetai between them.

It also sets up what I call '' parent '' trap. Image on the face of a clock. At 12 o'clock is the word ' angry, ' four ' in the word '' '' and sympathy in eight phrase '' take advantage. ''

Trapping starts when a strange, does something wrong or is the problem; the parent starts at the top of the clock, it becomes '' angry and says something like ' OK, you do so, you're grounded for life!'' or some equally pragmatic proposal.

After a while, the parent moves down the clock for '' hard '', and lets the child off the hook.

Sure enough, the child develops and repeats the same action or something equally disappointing that moves the parent over feeling '' taken advantage of.The mother did not feel this way for a long time before thinking or saying, '' how to do this after you've made for you!?!'' The parent quickly returns to the top of the clock, and anger.''

See the vicious circle that defines? in the middle is the child runs the show.

Now let's complicate even more, with our two styles different parenting process. Imagine having a parent stuck anger and another crash in sympathy or a combination of equally harmful. There is a hole to odigiseis a truck through.

There are many useful features out of this trap parent. one of the simpler called odd/even schedule.

Here is how it works: numbered days, it is a parent of parenting.This means that all discipline, privileges, debates, etc., passed from the parent to that entire day; the other parent is to honour and just say (unless there is blood or some other legitimate emergency).

The parent is on for that day to call about the other parent as a practitioner, if you so choose. otherwise, disable parent required '' personality the wisdom '' for the day, has reversed roles simply have the next day, even on the day of the parent who was responsible is disabled and the parent who was disabled is liable.

This plan can take advantage of the family in several ways:

Parents come together to agree to follow the plan.

To see other this in action and see that he or she can parent takes of each parent.

To practice their own parenting skills takes of each parent.

Children and to see each parent.

The door is open to parents to come together as a group.

The task of parenting is quite difficult, but it does not have to become a power struggle between two adults, it is important to remember that the goal is to form an effective team, with both parents to have their own unique skills and learning; in this way, the whole family benefits.

Visit parentingyourteenager.com for tips and tools for eyimeroyse during teen. you can also subscribe to our f * r * e * e 5 day e-program about The Top 5 Things to never Say to your teenager discounts from parenting coach and expert Jeff herring.

Children in the tips for a good, effective Parenting

noreply@blogger.com (Jack Bauer) — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 20:02:00 +0000

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Many parents are hungry for healthy parenting tips parenting advice doesnt.The Responsible Kids Network offers parenting tips to encourage and support, authoritative parenting.

I did not expect parenting to be so hard

New parents may be unprepared state for the exhilarating, yet exhausting, journey that occupying ahead in parenting.It's important for all parents to realize that just because a person is able to procreate, doesn't naturally provide the patience and knowledge needed to be an effective and healthy parent. Gaining knowledge about the nature of children and healthy and effective parenting styles, will help parents to be calmer and empower parents to be more effective in raising responsible kids.

I am hopping to parent differently than I was parented

Many times a parent may be aware of times that didn't go so smoothly in his or her own childhood and wish to parent differently once he or she has children. At all ages and stages of our children's lives, we may remember back to how our parents may have reacted in similar situations. Prior generations did not have the information that we now have available about healthy parenting. But family loyalties and legacies in each of our families has shown to significantly impact our parenting.

I am nice to my child but then he misbehaves

Parents and other caregivers sometimes hope that if they act nicely to a child, the child will act nicely in return. This is referred to as the "strings attached" approach. Adults (and some older children) can relate to the concept of fair giving and receiving, but most children are not mature enough to respond this way. By expecting this level of maturity, a parent is being unfair to a child.The executive role of parenting cannot be done through love and understanding alone.Effective discipline promotes self esteem, self-respect, self-control and existing a positive parent-child relationship.

Am I a bad parent when I get angry with my child?

Anger is a natural and inevitable emotion and it's okay to feel angry with a child.The key is for parents to learn healthy ways to express angry feelings to a child. Anger is usually a secondary emotion, so figuring out what the underlying feelings may be (frustration, disappointment, embarrassment, etc.) can be helpful in managing how to express anger. At these times, emotionally charged parents are role-modeling for a child how to handle anger.

My child and I are so different and we always clashing

The make-up of a child who is consists of ages and stages of development, uniqueness, maturity level, and situational factors. The uniqueness of a child (or any person) includes the individual nature of temperament, intelligences, brain dominance, giftedness, and learning styles. If these unique traits of a child do not "match" the unique traits of a parent, then there may not be "goodness to fit" and power struggles and miscommunication may result. When a parent is able to better understand these unique traits in a child, and how it may differ (i.e. conflict) with his or her own unique traits, the parent becomes calmer and more confident in parenting.

Is it okay to spank my child?

Spanking, and other forms of corporal punishment, is not a healthy or effective way to discipline children. The goal of discipline is to teach children proper behavior and self-control.Spanking may teach children to stop doing something out of fear. Despite some underlying attitudes and beliefs that spanking is an effective way to discipline children, extensive research strongly indicates any form of corporal punishment will negatively impact a child's self esteem and the relationship between parent and child.

My problems and I don't have the same style of parenting

Reconciling different parenting styles may be a challenge for many spouses.Consistent messages from parents to children is a key element of healthy and effective parenting. Many times when we're going to court and marry our problems, we have not even thought about parenting styles, and then we have children and parenting style differences may suddenly surface. Parents should take time when children are not present to work on a consistent "parenting philosophy" that can accept and even honor different parenting styles.Working together, rather than against each other, will help support and nurture responsible kids.

How can I be a good parent?

A healthy and effective parent is an intentional parent, who understands a child's needs. There are no "perfect parents," just as there are no "perfect children." Striving for accomplishment in all areas of parenting can only cause frustration and stress. Parents are given mostly chances each and every day to provide healthy authoritative parenting for their kids.

Show your love. Tell your kids you love them every day by sending messages of "I believe in you, I trust you, I know you can handle life situations, you are listened to, you are cared for, and you are very important to me."

Be consistent.Your rules don't have to be the same ones other parents have, but they do need to be clear and consistent.(Consistent means the rules are the same all the time, and followed by all family members.)Establish a "parenting philosophy" with your problems.

Prioritize your relationship with your child.Building a strong relationship with your child should be top priority, and when communicating with a child, it's most effective to remember to preserve the strength of the bond.The importance of strong, healthy bond between parent and child cannot be overstated, because these bonds serve as the foundation upon which all other life relationships are well-formed.

Listen to your child.Active listening is the greatest gift to a child.Learn to accept, although not necessarily agree with, what your child is saying.Temporarily put set-aside your own thoughts and values and show empathy when listening to a child, trying diligently to see things from his or her perspective.

Strive for an produced connection with your child.Understanding your child's emotions will help you understand what motivates his or her behavior.Emotions are the real fuel of power struggles with your kids.When you identify those emotions, you can choose strategies to teach your child what he or she may be feeling and how to respond to those feelings in a more appropriate way.

Evaluate the behavior, not the child.Be intentional about self-esteem building and address misbehavior directly, rather than through evaluating the child.It's better to say "I see you're having trouble sharing with your friend," rather than "don't be selfish, you need to share.

For more information on understanding the complex nature of who is a child, how his or her brain – and processes information, and to practice new and easy-to-learn healthy parenting tools, please visit: Responsible Kids Network at http://responsiblekids.net

Marty Wolner (BA, CPE, ICF, PACA) is a Certified Parenting Educator for the Institute for Professional and Educational Development, and New Paradigm Training Institute in Ft. Washington, PA and the Institute for Family Professionals in Philadelphia, PA, and the parent of two teenagers.

Where Did I Come From [VHS]

noreply@blogger.com (Jack Bauer) — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 15:31:00 +0000

Tongue-tied over introducing the facts of life to the kids? If the humor-and-honesty route sounds appealing, consider Where Did I Come From?, an animated, 30-minute icebreaker for parents who need a little help getting all the words out. Based on the treasured 1977 children's book of the same title, this Film Advisory Board award winner induces plenty of laughter as it playfully teaches lessons in reproductive anatomy, intercourse, fertilization, gestation, and childbirth. The action begins by roasting all the goofy explanations parents concoct regarding their child's arrival; then it follows "your parents" (anatomically correct) as they bathe, make love, and await the arrival of "you." Comedian Howie Mandel narrates almost verbatim from the book, so a few scenes and lines are somewhat dated (think ambulance and gurney rides). Ultimately, parents must determine an "appropriate" viewing age for this topic, but the vocabulary and degree of explanation seem suitable for ages 4 to 8. --Liane Thomas

Price: $9.98

Click here to buy from Amazon

Parenting Guide For Christians

noreply@blogger.com (Jack Bauer) — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 11:36:00 +0000

There are not many ebooks for Christians who require stress management when bringing up their families. This is an easy to use guide for Christian Parents Check it out!

Parents step-what is rights?

noreply@blogger.com (Jack Bauer) — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 07:02:00 +0000

There are, in this complex world, a great many step-parents. If you're one, as I am aware of your legal status in terms of what you can and cannot permit, when it comes to your children step?

Imagine that you have your wife recently married and has three children. Your spouse is disabled in the camp with a younger child leaving to run around with two elderly. You agree to go on cycling for a half an hour. Then the police.One of the children have an accident and are currently treated with paramedics before taking the other in the hospital. child is accused of causing the accident and the police that you want to talk about it.

None of the children's natural parents cannot communicate with the mobile phone. what you can do or what to do? The answer to this question will depend on whether you have parental responsibility.

Who really has parental responsibility?

Step-parent, even if they marry a parent of children does not have custody of a child automatically. Parental responsibility is the package of rights and duties associated with a child. Duties include providing clothing, a home, education and making sure that the harm is in the child. A person with parental responsibility can authorise a change of the name for a child in certain circumstances and to give its consent to marry, if children under the age of 18.

The mother of a child is always in matters of parental responsibility. An unmarried father of a child whose birth was registered before 30 November 2003 does not automatically have parental responsibility even if it is entered as the father in the birth of the child. From 1 December 2003, however, an unmarried father, who is present when it is posted at birth is about the birth certificate, obtain parental responsibility.Father's day without parental responsibility is able to obtain it through a formal agreement registered with the authorities or through a series of Court.

The rights and responsibilities of step-parents

Step-parents from 5th December 2005 may also obtain parental responsibility through a formal agreement or Court order; Other orders which have the effect of parental responsibility, step-parent or other person (e.g. grand-parent) is a series of houses which starts when a child will live, and gives the person with the Residence Order in matters of parental responsibility, until the child is 16.However, a parental responsibility Order lasts until the 18th birthday of the child.After the Civil Partnership Act 2004 comes into force on 5 December 2005 same-sex partners in a registered partnership are also able to acquire parental responsibility by formal agreement or Court order.

Step-parents still will not and does not have parental responsibility For a automatically. formal agreement to any person with parental responsibility to sign the agreement; this is often the natural parents and any other persons who have parental responsibility from the birth of the child.

A parent on acquisition of parental responsibility has the same duties and responsibilities as any other individual including natural parent with custody.

For tips about how to obtain parental responsibility and what are your responsibilities as a step-parent contact Karen Agnew-Griffith, specialized family lawyer with Woolley & Co. lawyers. Karen advise regularly parents and step-parents concerning the rights and responsibilities; call (01366 727170) or email Karen with your specific questions at karen.agnew-griffith@divorce.co.uk

You must use four words letter each Parent

noreply@blogger.com (Jack Bauer) — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 03:50:00 +0000

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Rearing children has never been an easy task. Children are human beings in an underdeveloped state and just like their adult counterparts; they exhibit personality traits that can be challenging. Unfortunately, more and more parents are opting for the easy way out and not promoting healthy development in their children. More and more parents are focusing on the intellectual and athletic development of the child ignoring the psychological and sociological development. What is a parent to do? Are there enough words to help develop a truly well rounded adult? Below you will find the best four letter words every parent should use to rear healthy, competent, loving, and happy children.

TIME

"Quality Time vs. Quantity Time" has been kicked around for two decades as a way of absolving parents from their key responsibility: rearing their children. Bussing children around from one sporting event to another is not quality time. Only one in 16,000 children will grow up to be a professional athlete. How many "Hall of Famers" have you heard thank their little league coaches? Unless that person was a parent, the answer is none. How many wealthy men have left their fortune to any of these groups? However, wealthy men who left vast amounts of money to the Boy Scouts of America for the same reason: promotion of values, family involvement, and civic involvement. A parent must ask the following questions: Why am I carting my children off to all these events? Is it truly for the child or are you living vicariously through the child? Are you using your child as a status symbol? When we are together, are we talking about the child, or the activity? One last question, ask your child what the child would love to do if the child could choose the activity. If your child truly thinks of you as a parent and not a dictator (one who dictates activities) then the answer might surprise you.

PLAY

Playing is a child's work. It is through play that a child discovers and develops certain skills. A two-year-old needs to learn how to roll a ball back and forth, and preliminary social skills not the alphabet. A parrot can memorize the alphabet, and a chimpanzee can learn sign language. There is no great skill or higher intelligence in that. Playing is a child's version of stress release. It seems odd that someone who in 1968 could enter first grade without knowing how to read, attend a school day that included two fifteen minute recesses and an hour lunch, during a school year that began the day after Labor Day and concluded before Memorial Day and still grow-up to graduate college and end up a CEO of a major company. Why do we think that play is a waste of time? Play is fun. It makes you laugh thus lowering blood pressure, includes using various muscle groups through activity which keeps weight down, and is multi-dynamic: teaches life lessons, sharing, patience, reading, problem solving, arithmetic, rhythm, strategy, cause and effect, decision making, honor, self-worth, dignity, self-esteem, etc. Anytime a child plays any game, even if alone, a valuable lesson is learned. Just because a self-absorbed workaholic parent cannot see that does not make it less true. It is even more important for children to have parents play with them. Educational television is the poorest substitute for parental involvement, the parent is the primary educator in a child's life. Do you really want your child to talk about playtime with an animated character as the happiest childhood memory?

Video games only count if they last for an hour or less, and the whole family is actively involved. A child that spends more than an hour, and worse, alone playing video game does not gain any tangible intellectual, physiological, psychological, or sociological reward. Bill Gates does not own a video game system.

TALK/DINE

Children want parents to talk with them, even when they say, "Nothing" or "I don't want to talk about it." How will a child know what is important in life if the parent will not talk to the child? One of the best times to talk with your child is at the dinner table, not in some restaurant, fast or five stars, but in the safety and quiet of home. Home is safe base; it is a time for the child to have the parent alone. Practice rephrasing questions so that they are open-ended, cannot be answered with "yes" or "no." Parents need to listen to their children and talking with them about their day even if the events may not seem important or educationally sound to you. It does not matter the child's nationality, creed, race, or favorite team most of them will answer this question the same way:

PARENT: "What did you do in school today?"

CHILD: "Nothin' "

It is surprising how many parents accept that answer carte blanche. Many adults answer that question the same way when "work" is substituted for "school." The reason is simple, school is repetitive, the same subjects everyday. The child is just regurgitating an auto response. The teacher or teachers are teaching and the child is learning. Try reframing: "Did anything new, exciting, interesting, insane happen today?" The humor of the question will flip the auto switch off, and the choices will hit upon a memory. Unfortunately, parents want to hear about the joys of arithmetic, writing, reading a classic. If parents will honestly recall their own childhood, they will remember that PE, art, recess, etc. were their favorite times, too. The object is to accept this answer, expound upon it and lead the child toward the academics. Share some of your own experiences, good and bad.

Let your children know what you value and why. Why must the child make all As? Is it for a better future for them, or parental bragging rights at work? Studies have shown repeatedly that the B-C student is the most successful in life because the student understand failure is transitory and the student has the power, ability, to effect change upon the grade; the student is not the grade.

PRAY

It is not the fact that God has been removed from schools but that parents have removed Him from the home. A child who is given a spiritual support system tends to handle the difficult moments in life. The world is not worse, contrary to popular belief; however, the coping skills are nonexistent. Everyone needs to know that there is a Higher Force in control when they have lost control. It does not matter how this Higher Force manifests itself as long as it is positive. A centering prayer is a good way to help a child refocus when Life throws a curve ball. Prayer can give a parent the needed time to rephrase before reacting in a harmful manner, whether physically or verbally.

Pray with your child, for your child, for yourself, for others who encounter your child.

WORK/EARN

Children need to learn that money, privileges, items, grades, etc. are earned not owed. Children get a true feeling of accomplishment when they work and earn something. A parent does not help a child by giving the child everything the child wants without earning it. A baby chick that is helped out of the shell instead of pecking its way out is not strong enough to survive. It is true with children who never learn the value and accomplishment of earning something through work. A parent who completes a child's homework because the child says it is too difficult sends one of two messages: the child is not capable of completing the work, or the parent is a tool to be manipulated. Work with the child, reframe for the child, teach the child to ask the teacher for help, but do not complete the assignment for the child. Often a child is frightened of failure, or the unknown outcome and is looking for reassurance from the parent. When a parent gives in the child's unspoken fear is now validated: I'm not smart/strong/good enough.

LOVE

You may not always like your children but you must always love them. It is important that parents tell children often that they love them. All children go through periods of doubt, especially when they have committed some offense. Children do not always "know" that parents love them. If a parent cannot say the words, "I love you," to a child something is wrong and the child will interpret it as rejection. Things are not love, love belongs to people not to things. It is not money that is the root of all evil but the love of money. A child will reciprocate to the world the love received at home.

Lust is not love. Children need to learn that sexual desire does not equate love. If a child is not shown love at home, hugs for example, then the child will seek that physical connection somewhere else. Children need to be loved in a safe and accepting environment in order to grow into loving adults.

Love carries an obligation to be good, kind, and gentle to those who are weaker. Love means that, though someone makes you angry you have no right to harm them or hate them. As a parent, you need to teach your child to let go of the hate and anger created by the child's actions or the actions of others. Love does conquer all but you have to let go of hurt feelings to experience that caused the anger.

HOPE

Children need to know that "the sun will come out tomorrow." Children need to know that no matter how hard a situation becomes it will get better, it might take some time, but it will get better. Children need to know that they are a parent's hope for the future. The parent knows the world will be better because they are in it. The truth is because of hope the world will get better.

LIFE

Life is not fair. Life is not easy. Life happens. Life is disappointing. Life is boring. Starting in the mid-70s parents decided they needed to protect children from Life. You cannot. Children need to experience life in order to learn how to navigate past the difficult parts. Children who are taught they can say or do anything they wish without consequences fail in life. Life means "no" more times than "yes." The work force has taken a serious turn toward the worst because children have not learn the meaning of "no," discipline, responsibility, honor, pride, or love.

Life is beautiful because other people share in it. Life offers many fulfilling opportunities the most important of which is the number of diverse people in it. Life is rewarding because of the beauty it holds through Nature. Life is worth living because of every single life each person touches whether the other person realizes it at the time or not. Every child's life has a purpose and it is the obligation of every parent to encourage every child to seek and fulfill that purpose.

REAL

Aging teaches children the difference between reality and fantasy as long as the parent guides the child through the process. It is not reality to give children everything they want because that is not Life. Children who do not learn that there is a hierarchy will fail to become productive in the business world. The real world teaches everyone that there will always be someone else to whom they answer. Even someone who owns a business is accountable to suppliers and customers. The real world proves every day that an adult who throws a tantrum is either mentally ill or immature and not to be taken seriously.

In the real world, there are consequences for actions. Physics, every action has an opposite and equal reaction, cannot be denied forever even if it seems a person has gotten away with an illegal or unethical activity. Every Holy Book has some equivalent of "what goes around comes around." Children need to know that a parent cannot always rescue them from problems of their creation.

WANT/NEED

There is a huge difference between want and need. Children, by their egocentric nature, want everything. However, if a parent provides too many material things to a child at an early age then how does the child learn appreciation or gratitude? If a child needs the latest style in clothes in order to express individuality, or an item because everyone else has one, or a high tag item to fit in and the parent gives in without explanation, then parent has proven to the child material possessions are more important than personal growth.

A prime example of this is the perceived need for portable media devices. There was a time when a family trip afforded the perfect opportunity for families to reconnect. Only family members were allowed because the point was family togetherness. The long drive's entertainment included talking, singing (either to the radio or family songs when the airwaves were not available), arguing, reading, crossword puzzles, or travel size version of board games. Now, however, cars are equipped, or can be equipped with DVD players, each child has an individual handheld video game, several members may have MP3 players, or a member is on the cell phone all this going on in place of true communication. Children literally tuning out the world with their parents on the outside. Even when the family shops children and their parents can be seen ear plugged into MP3 players, and cell phones. It is interesting to note that more and more youth retreats and school field trips no longer allow children to bring their electronic devices. One reason is a security issue; however, behind that is an issue that schools are finally starting to address: personal communication between students.

Children's worlds are by nature egocentric, it is a parent's job to help them ascertain between want and need. Take an inventory of a child's room and see how many wanted items have been set aside and neglected for the latest fad.

FREE

What is a list of four-letter word without the "F" word? The entire list if items are free to every individual and maybe that is the problem. In today's society, most individuals are wary of anything that is free. People have been trained to believe that the most expensive is the best, the most exclusive the ultimate. It is important to understand the essence of the human being: to be love, understood, wanted, and productive. All unhappiness can be found in a shortage in one, or all, of those four. Fortunately, all can be attained and parents are the most important supplier.

All parents want the best for their children. However, the past thirty years have placed modern parenting on shifting sand and maintained this precarious foundation through psuedo-educational-psychological smoke and mirrors. Professional educators, child psychologists, and toy manufacturers have made millions on the backs of well meaning but ill- prepared parents. Stop the decline by introducing four letter words into your child rearing vocabulary.

AE Wise is an author on http://www.Writing.Com/ which is a site for Writers. AE has been a teacher, mentor and parent for over twenty years.

Parenting Book - How To Parent Together!

noreply@blogger.com (Jack Bauer) — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 00:03:00 +0000

Parenting Book By Parent / Child Relationship Expert Helps Parents With Discipline, Step Parenting & Blended Family Issues.

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Practical Parenting Advice

noreply@blogger.com (Jack Bauer) — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 20:02:00 +0000

Free Parenting Advice And Support On Children's Behaviour.

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Is child Support laws fair and reasonable for both parents?

noreply@blogger.com (Jack Bauer) — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 15:43:00 +0000

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I know that this article as well as this subject is going to touch the chord of so many people both positive and negative, both mothers and fathers. I recently posed a question to both men and women and to my astonishment; both favored and concurred with it. So, what is it? Child support! Did you know that child support is determined on the income of the noncustodial parent? Yes, I'm sure most of you know that. However, do most of you agree that child support laws are antiquated and biased and needs to be changed?

If support payment is based on a noncustodial parent income, then what happens to the excess of the money that is received by the custodial parent once the child's needs are taken care of? Most noncustodial parents want accountability for the payments received. I concur. During the divorce process, both parties are required to present a financial affidavit outlining all their expenses, assets and their income. Why then shouldn't custodial parents outline the monthly expenses of the child or children and present that to establish support payment? If it takes only $500 for a child's monthly expenses and the custodial parent receives $1200, then the remaining $700 is custodial support. Doesn't seem fair does it? The question that was presented to both men and women was should custodial parents be accountable for the child support payment they receive?

Child support laws have changed in many states to include the income of both parents, however, it needs to be changed nationwide for child support to be based on the expenses of each child. Most noncustodial parents would then stop evading child support and those that are reluctant to pay child support will pay child support because it will be based on the expenses and needs of the child. In order to make child support fair to both parents, this small change can be easily implemented when establishing the child support order.

Christy is pregnant by her ex-boyfriend and she came to my office for advice on how to proceed with her relationship with the father of her child. She was initially quite angry and disappointed but elated that she was having a baby. She did not want the father involved with the unborn baby and wanted to do it all by herself. I thought how selfish, but I explained to her that her baby would benefit by having both parents involved in his/her life. In another session, we discuss how much child support she should receive. I asked her to write down all the expenses she would incur from having the baby as well as the budget monthly for caring for the baby. She brought the expenses during a follow-up session and I suggested that is the amount you ask for child support and present the father with the budget. When she came back, her relationship with the father had taken a positive turn. Christy informed me that he was relieved that she was fair and equitable in deciding on the financial responsibility of raising their child.

However, the face of child support is changing. Statistic shows that 85% of custodial parents are mothers and 15% are fathers. The fasting growing segment/population of parents are fathers. More and more fathers are fighting for custody and in today's changing world; more fathers are getting custody of their children.

This is the perfect place to introduce Denise. Denise contacted me last year when her husband, of whom she was separated from, kept her two children when they visited him for the summer. She wanted to know her rights and the rights of her husband. What I told her shocked her. No parent actually has custody of their children unless it is outlined and determined in a divorce decree or in other documentation signed by both parents. I suggested to Denise that when the children come back for the Christmas holiday she could keep the children with her. However, I also suggested that she should have a candid conversation with her children to see where they prefer to live, with mommy or daddy.

At Christmas her two children came to visit, however, Denise did not take my advice. The children went back after the holiday to their father. During her divorce hearing in the following spring, and when the issue of custody was presented, the judge asked, "if you wanted the children with you, why didn't you keep them when they came to visit?" He continued to say, "if you didn't think the father was doing a good job with the children, why did you allow them to stay with him for so long." Denise called me after the hearing and informed me that the father was awarded custody and she should have listened to me.

Denise is not the only mother I know that doesn't have custody of their children and is the noncustodial parent. I have several mothers that I consult that are noncustodial parents. What happens when mothers are noncustodial parents? Do they have to pay the percentage outlined in child support laws? The answer is yes. What I've seen when mothers are noncustodial parents are fathers are more lenient to mothers paying child support and seldom demand that they pay the amount outlined in child support laws. This is the case for Denise. She only pays a small amount per month to the father for the care of her two children.

After seeing a trend in the way fathers who are custodial parents allow the mothers who are noncustodial parents to pay a smaller amount from the norm, it got me to thinking, why are so many mothers, who are custodial parents demanding noncustodial parents to pay a percentage of their income when in most cases that amount greatly exceed the need of the child or children.

I'm hoping that the laws will change in the future to allow custodial parents to outline the monthly expenses of their child or children when faced with child support. More noncustodial parents will stop evading paying child support and more will spend quality time with their children. Since 1975, over $100 billion is owed in unpaid child support. Of the amount owed, 70% of the noncustodial parents make less than $10,000 annually. The figure continues to grow because of the economy and the high number unemployment rate because of the amount of people being laid off. However, if both parents are working together for the same goals, and those goals are to love, provide, protect, be their physically, emotionally, and spiritually for our children, we are providing the best for our children.

When noncustodial parents pay child support, they are more likely to be involved and spend quality time with their children. Statistic shows that when both mother and father are actively involved in their children' lives, the children do better in school, more likely to go to college, less likely to be involved in drugs, less likely to get pregnant, and less likely to be involved in gangs and violence. It starts with noncustodial parents being treated fairly when it comes to child support. After all it is "child support" not "custodial parent" support. Let's work together to change the laws as it pertains to the monthly amount noncustodial parents pay for child support. You can start by contacting and writing your Senator or State Representative asking them to change the laws and make child support based on the monthly financial needs and expenses of the child or children. We can make a difference and we can strengthen families.

A child needs both parents involved in their life. When one parent abuses or misuses the other parent, a great amount of strain is placed on the relationship. The parent who is absent from the home, the noncustodial parent, will feel resentment and most likely stay away, even at the sacrifice of not seeing his/her child or children. I hear it time and time again from noncustodial parent and in most of my sessions with custodial parents; I communicate the frustrations and desires of noncustodial parents. Some times my message is positively received and other times the emotions of the custodial parents and noncustodial parents perpetuate a great division between both parents. I strongly believe that if most custodial parents appreciated and respected noncustodial parents many dilemmas between the two parents could be greatly avoided. Also, by no means am I taking away the responsibilities of noncustodial parents, what I see daily are the opportunities being taken away from noncustodial parents.

When one parent is no longer living in the same household with the other parent and children, a child support battle ensues. It can be made easier with less emotion and with both parents satisfied with the process if the actual expenses of the child or children are taken into consideration. All noncustodial parents will know exactly where the money is being spent and that child support payments are being accounted for. Parenthood is an opportunity and responsibility. So many times one parent takes that away from the other parent. We as parents can make a difference in the lives of our children by providing the best for them. The best for them is both parents actively participating and involved in our children lives and both parents wanting and providing the best for our children. What a wonderful world this would be.

Here are some suggestions to move more towards an amicable relationship with the other parent.

o Decide that your child's or children' best interest is the most important aspect of the relationship with both parents.

o Write a budget for each child. Make a list of all the expenses that is involved with the monthly care and needs of each child.

o Start appreciating the other parent and realize that they make a world of difference in the lives of their children.

o Get past the emotional upsets that caused the relationship to go awry. Parenting without the emotional upsets toward the other parent will open up a new relationship between both parents that will ultimately benefit your children.

o Contact your child support office and let them know that the budgeted amount calculated in as mentioned above in the second point is what you want to receive monthly for child support.

o Contact your Senator or State Representative and let them know that child support law need to be based on the expenses of each child and abolish the percentage of income of the noncustodial parent based laws.

o Watch and see the noncustodial parent playing a more important and bigger role in their child's or children' lives.

o Watch and see the difference in your child or children.

o Better yet, watch and see how your life will ultimately change because of letting go of all the hurt, pain, anger, disappointment, frustrations and whatever other emotional baggage that festered inside of you. Your family will completely change for the better.

I hope that these suggestions are received and are acted upon and that overnight your life, your children' lives and the noncustodial life will change for the better. However, we are all human and it make take some longer than others. The most important aspect of change is wanting to change and wanting what's best for not only ourselves, but for those we love. Start with one suggestion and keep adding each day, each week and whenever you're able to move on.

Take my advice because I have played the role of both custodial and noncustodial parent and I feel and have lived the experiences of both. Trust me, my advice will make a world of difference for your children.

Dawnette Lounds-Culp
Publisher/Author
The Face of Child Support
http://www.angeleyespublishingco.com

Diaper Dude Diaper Bag

noreply@blogger.com (Jack Bauer) — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 10:50:00 +0000

As seen on "The View", US Weekly, In Style Magazine, Parenting Magazine, TV's Extra!, and in many more fine publications. Say goodbye to flowery diaper bags... Now there's Diaper Dude! Diaper Dude is not your average diaper bag. It was designed with dad in mind. A cool, hip, funky diaper bag that comes complete with changing pad, cell phone holder and key ring for dads on the go. Diaper dude is compartmentalized and has enough space to hold those essentials needed for a day out with dad. Three large front pockets are designed for wipes, food, bibs, utensils and more. The main compartment contains a special place for diapers, changing pad and is big enough to hold a change of clothes, toys and extras. A bottle holder is at arms reach, so dad can access milk or juice at a moments notice. But most of all, Diaper Dude is form fitting to the body, comfortable, hip and affordable. And moms love wearing it too! Bag measures approx. 16"wide and 14"tall and 4.5" deep.

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Parenting Management

noreply@blogger.com (Jack Bauer) — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 07:32:00 +0000

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"Most children are raised by amateurs, not professionals."

- Bryce's Law

INTRODUCTION

Want to know what to expect of the work force in the years ahead? Look no farther

than our schools or homes. Let me preface my remarks by saying that in addition

to all of my other responsibilities, I was very active in my local Little League for a

number of years where I served as coach, umpire, and on the local board of

directors. Further, I have been very active locally in offering Masonic scholarships to

High School students. In addition, my wife has been active in the local school system

for the last ten years at the elementary, middle, and high school levels (this also

included PTA and SAC). Although we probably won't win an award as the world's

best parents, we made a point of becoming an important and influential part of our

children's lives. We didn't take any special courses in parenting, we just got

involved. But we are the exceptions as opposed to the rule.

Prior to World War II, the country was immersed in an economic depression which

put a strain on families and disrupted our society. Everyone in a family was expected

to pitch in and do their part in order to survive, this included going to school and their

place of worship. Some families suffered severe hardships during this period causing

children to drop out of school and go to work. They didn't drop out as some form

of rebellion or protest, but to simply earn money to help support the family. Consequently,

many earned nothing higher than a Junior High diploma which was prized by many

families. The point is, there was a sense of family back then and the people's hunger

built character. They understood the value of a dollar, worked hard and squandered

nothing. It was this generation that got us through the war and propelled the country

towards economic success in the latter part of the 20th century.

In the 1950's and 1960's, as the country was experiencing an economic boom, a parent

normally stayed at home to manage the family, usually the wife. If a child

had a problem, a parent was always home to tend to their needs. Children no longer

had to drop out of school to support the family and our High Schools and Colleges

swelled with students. The "baby boomers" were considered well adjusted

and readily adapted to the work force. This generation saw us through the space

race and the technology revolution which changed the face of corporate America.

But in the last three decades, we began to lose faith in our economy and our

standard of living. As a result, both parents began to work inordinate hours and a

generation gap began to emerge. Exhausted by their work, the parents

would return home where the last thing they wanted to hear was their child's

problems. Consequently, children became social outcasts in their own homes and

often had to fend for themselves; they simply couldn't relate with their parents. Sure,

the parents would sign their kids up for Summer Camp, Little League and Soccer, but

this was viewed more as baby-sitting services as opposed to taking a true interest in

the child's development. They would also give their kids television sets and video games

to occupy their time.

Today, school teachers have become surrogate parents by default, something

they weren't trained for, nor inclined to accept. Talk to a teacher and you will hear

stories of lack of respect for authority, poor manners, and dysfunctional social

intercourse. Children today no longer learn their values from their parents

but rather from Hollywood. As young adults entering the work force, their work

ethic, values, and behavior are noticeably different than the prior generation. There

is no longer a sense of quality, service, or craftsmanship; just put in your time and

collect a paycheck. This is all having an adverse effect on how we conduct

business and the corporate culture.

Now, let me give you a the scary figure: probably 20%, or less, of today's

graduating High School seniors are socially well adjusted.

Knowing this, what should you do as a manager?

THE NEED FOR PARENTING

In the past, if you were a new employee, it was assumed you knew how to manage

your personal life and you were expected to adapt to the corporate culture. This

is no longer true and presents a problem for managers. Younger employees today

have problems managing money, dressing appropriately, and interpersonal relations

and communications, not to mention alcohol, drugs, and sex. They are raw and rough. But

are they salvageable? They better be, for your company's sake, as they represent

tomorrow's work force.

Perhaps we can take a lesson from the military services here. The military is

well aware they are not getting the "cream of the crop" when they take on new

recruits. Many are social misfits coming from broken homes. As such, the

military's initial role is to break the individual of bad habits and impose a new

system of discipline and work ethic. Individualism is replaced by teamwork and,

in the process, a sense of belonging and family is imposed. This is either readily

accepted by the new recruit or they are drummed out of the service. Discipline,

organization, teamwork, and a strong work ethic can have a dramatic affect on a

drifting soul. By doing so, it can bring order to lives and a sense of purpose,

something that perhaps was neglected at home.

Today's Drill Instructors and junior officers also find themselves as surrogate parents

and are now instructed in counseling young soldiers. The boot camps of today are

a lot different than what the country experienced during World War II, Korea, and

Viet Nam. Yet, we are producing a fine class of soldiers which makes our country

proud. In other words, they must be doing something right.

If we have learned anything from the military in this regard, it is that the

times have changed and our employees today have different needs requiring

a new type of manager who can adequately tend to them. And like today's

Drill Instructors and school teachers, managers are finding themselves in the

role of surrogate parents, like it or not. Managers bristle at this notion. After all,

they want to get on with their business and do not want to be regarded as a

baby-sitter. But the fact remains, home parenting skills are at an all-time low

and to overcome this problem, someone has to assume the duty to compensate

for this inadequacy. Again, the military readily understands this and has adapted

accordingly. But can business?

Understand this, corporate America's "recruits" come predominantly from the

colleges and universities whose purpose is not to teach social skills, but rather,

to teach people how to learn. A college diploma most definitely does not

mean the graduate is socially well-adjusted, but that he/she has learned to study

and accept new ideas. If anything, the student's extracurricular activities tell

more about a person's personality than the degree itself. For example, participation

in team sports, club activities, or Greek life speaks volumes about a person's

personality and social skills.

PAST EFFORTS

In the past, new corporate recruits underwent special training programs to learn how

the company conducts business. Sales people in particular had to undergo rigorous

training to learn how to present products and care for the customers. Workmen

underwent training to learn how to build quality products. However, such programs

have been slashed in recent times as a means for cutting costs (and will be the subject

of a future paper).

There was also a period where mentors were assigned to new employees to chaperone

them on their journey through the corporate world. Mentors were basically a

"Big Brother/Sister" program where senior employees would offer sage advice

to neophytes on adapting to the corporate world. But like the training programs,

mentoring is also being phased out.

Although mentoring and training programs were intended to develop the employee's

skills and effectiveness from a corporate perspective, neither dwelled on the personal

problems of the employee.

Now that new employees are left to fend for themselves, a generation gap is emerging

in business. Managers from just about every job segment are frustrated with new

employees, and, likewise, new employees are frustrated with management. Whereas

managers lament how little is accomplished by new employees, new employees

complain how much time they are putting in at work. This highlights a significant

difference between the generations: whereas the new employees are watching the

clock, the managers are watching what is produced. The two are not synonymous,

but nobody has taught the young employees this yet. To the "newbies," their time is

what is important, regardless if they produce anything worthwhile or not; to the manager,

it is just the opposite. Also, young people believe calling in sick is an acceptable form of

behavior. Where did they learn all this? On their own. It is a sad state of affairs when

the media has more influence over the values of our children than parents do. But

when adults abdicate parenting to the media, it is not entirely surprising.

So, what is needed? More training? Mentoring? Nope. Just some parenting. The sooner

corporations realize this, the sooner they can begin to develop mature and responsible

employees. Again, this is why the military now teaches its Drill Instructors basic

counseling techniques, so they can help new recruits find their way through life and become

a good soldier. It is most definitely not "baby-sitting" but, rather, a recognition that parents

have dropped the ball in their child's development and someone has to pick up the

pieces in order for the newbie to realize their potential.

I do not claim to have a Ph.D. in parenting, but as I see it there are three primary

duties a parent needs to inculcate:

* Role Model - first, a parent has to be a good role model with attributes their subordinates

want to aspire to attain. Role models are respected for their authority and become

a highly credible source of information and inspiration,

* Teacher - second, a parent has to be able to teach, not just academic lessons but

those of life; e.g., morality, socialization, even finances (e.g., balancing a

checkbook, life insurance, etc.). It is the teacher who establishes the rules and

regulations of the classroom and, as such, is also the disciplinarian.

* Guidance Counselor - third, parenting includes guiding others on their path through

life, explaining options and making recommendations.

Very important, a parent has to recognize they won't have all of the answers, but

should know how to point someone in the right direction to get the answers they need.

Above all else, a parent has to care about the welfare of their offspring. I am not

suggesting corporate parents love their children like biological parents, but they

need to invest time in the person, believe in the person, and motivate them

accordingly, whether through kindness or a good swift kick in the rear. The

corporate parent has to also know when their work is complete and allow the

offspring to move on to the next stage of their corporate life.

The military has the advantage of written contracts and boot camps to

indoctrinate new recruits. Perhaps a corporate boot camp could be devised

and teach the same lessons as found in the military, such as:

* Cause and effect, e.g., if you make a mistake, you know you will be penalized accordingly.

* The value of good workmanship and its impact on others.

* How to give and take an order.

* Discipline and code of conduct.

* Teamwork.

CONCLUSION

Companies today are at a loss coping with the newest generation of

workers. What they don't realize is, it will get worse before it gets better. Since

most biological parents are content with allowing others to teach their children

the necessary values in life, teachers, the military and corporations are forced to

pick up the slack, like it or not. The sooner we admit this, the sooner we can address

how to remedy the situation. Whether this involves one-on-one counseling or a

boot camp type of environment, something has to be done to teach our newest wave

of workers the proper values to succeed in business and in life.

Let me leave you with a real-life story on parenting in the workplace. Some time

ago I was visiting with a CIO in Columbus, Ohio who took me on a tour of

his facility. Along the way, we happened upon a young programmer who

was new to the company. Frankly, he looked a little wet behind the ears and

had long hair over his collar. After the CIO introduced me to the young man, he

instructed him to go get a haircut. The young programmer, shot back

indignantly, "You can't say that to me!"

The CIO turned calmly but deliberately to the programmer, and said,

"Yes I can. Watch," then pointing to his mouth, "Get a haircut. Now!"

The programmer backed down and, to his credit, dutifully got a haircut.

I had just witnessed a little "Parenting Management" in action. The CIO

exercised his authority and had quickly instructed the newbie on one

of the rules to be observed in the workplace. The programmer's biological

parents hadn't instructed him properly, now it defaulted to his corporate

parent.

"Parenting Management" - Just remember, you heard it here first.

Tim Bryce is the Managing Director of M. Bryce & Associates (MBA) of Palm Harbor, Florida and has 30 years of experience in the field. He is available for training and consulting on an international basis. He can be contacted at: timb001@phmainstreet.com

Pampers Natural Aloe Unscented Wipes, 720-count Box

noreply@blogger.com (Jack Bauer) — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 03:27:00 +0000

Hypoallergenic for gentle cleansing. Pure water and natural aloe help thousands of soft cleansing buds leave your baby?s skin feeling perfectly clean.

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Your Baby Can Read: Early Language Development System

noreply@blogger.com (Jack Bauer) — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 23:11:00 +0000

Factory sealed. 5 interactive DVDs + 50 flash cards. Ships within 24 hours of payment!

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Parenting Skills OnLine

noreply@blogger.com (Jack Bauer) — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 19:40:00 +0000

The Parenting Skills Online course is based on the teachings of Parent-Link in the Uk. This is an ebook course with full audio books to follow. Very practical knowkledge, available in the privacy of the home, knowledge that can be used for years.

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The Happiest Toddler on the Block DVD with Bonus Spanish Track

noreply@blogger.com (Jack Bauer) — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 15:43:00 +0000

Like a magic window into your toddler's mind, this clever approach quickly stops most tantrums...boosts cooperation...adds patience...and doubles your fun!

Watch Dr. Karp as he teaches his revolutionary techniques. Parents who practice for just a few days will be rewarded with a happier, more respectful child and fewer, milder "melt-downs."

Price: $26.95

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Brainy Baby - ABC's [VHS]

noreply@blogger.com (Jack Bauer) — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 12:25:00 +0000

Mastering the alphabet involves much more than recognizing capital letters. Brainy Baby: ABC's offers a healthy dose of phonics and lowercase letter study as well, treating 2- to 5-year-olds to a lesson that proves equally entertaining and educational. The key to this delightful show's appeal stems from an engaging, interactive approach to learning. Vocally introducing each uppercase and lowercase letter pair, sharing each letter's sound (or sounds, as in the case of vowels and certain consonants), and showing examples of words beginning with each letter, a friendly narrator encourages viewers to repeat what they see and hear. Throughout the 40-minute program, playful review sessions help enforce each lesson. Upbeat music and exceptional camera work add to the package, making yet another positive contribution from the award-winning Brainy Baby Company. Favorite extras on the DVD version include a video sing-along and a read-along storybook narrated by a child. -- Liane Thomas

Price: $15.95

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The Happiest Baby on the Block - The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Baby Sleep Longer (DVD)

noreply@blogger.com (Jack Bauer) — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 08:26:00 +0000

HAPPIEST BABY ON THE BLOCK - DVD Movie

Price: $26.95

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Pampers Baby Fresh Wipes, 720-count Box

noreply@blogger.com (Jack Bauer) — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 04:42:00 +0000

Pure Water
Comforting, baby powder scent
Thousands of soft cleansing buds

Price: $25.00

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Top 10 list for parents

noreply@blogger.com (Jack Bauer) — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 00:55:00 +0000

What is the definition of "good parent" is someone nurturing? someone who is a disciplinarian; someone who is a friend; perhaps the "good parent" with each of these qualities and many more. The challenge of parenting is that each parent should come to know the child--and themselves--and critical decisions about the type of the parent. I believe that the definition of "good parent is a parent that their children to live a life where the parent is no longer needed. In short, a parent that allows you to be "not appropriate" might be the parent of the duty to have children.

My children, 18 and 17, continue towards that ultimate goal. Make decisions every day that is increasingly "their own". In my teaching work of children in a local Community centre is often asked by clients, "what makes a good mother"; because the task of parenting is so daunting and every parent and child is so unique, it is a reflection of my approach carefully and with great humility.Still, I think the best parenting makes for a better world and that parenting is shared with others who have lived and learned to Follow my suggestions:.

1 Say "Yes" to the extent possible; Saying Yes does not mean without limits.You can say, "Yes, you may have a cookie AFTER you eat your dinner." or Yes, you can play with your friend after you clean your room. "

2, you loose, but don't let go. Of course, is a rock song, but it works in most relationships, particularly children. The objective of parenting is to become independent in any way addicts: social, economic, intellectual and emotional. Comparing good parenting in a slope leading. The first fives years is about the basics: getting all the gear required together, get comfortable, finding the Groove. This course is difficult, and sometimes exhausting work.Over the next five years is the trek up to the mountain where issues of trust in the relationship between parenting are the thinnest. ask children, can count on you? "during these hours and parents must answer back," Real ". Over the next five years is the trek that when it comes to simply guiding and enjoying the ride and recovering from any commitment. The characteristics of this stage is a celebration and reflection.

3 Know the difference, and Testament.A Covenant is an agreement that is based on a person that a contract is an agreement that is based on two persons. Parenting is a testament to the love is there for children at any cost, expense or effort on their part.My kids can't win my love, my to give. There are things in the relationship, however, that have contractual agreements, not necessarily in the legal sense, but with the meaning of the agreement. " When you have finished your work, we're going to the movie. "or when your qualities grow, you can access with the car.

4 my children are not "my". I am grateful (and modest) for part of the process of creating my children, but these are not my own. Not theirs and, in fact, the role must offer them the opportunity to be "boss themselves" not for me to be the "boss".

5 is my children not to continue my dreams. What a huge burden is for children to fight under the parents hopes and dreams. I want my children to have their own dreams, you will not be burdened with reality, dreams of my life. This means that when it comes to the minefield of life--either transport or physcially-I can cheer for my child and the group.My children are not to fight in my past regardless how glorious or sad.

6 Speak the truth in life, wherever possible.Parenting is an opportunity for parents to create an opportunity where children see themselves in the history of life. This means that parents can speak literally what may be in the lives of their children, whenever possible; therefore, messages that parents give their children is very important because the child's parent is the image they see themselves. Sometimes it may sound like a fiction story when you say, "I know you'd be getting __ ___ goal!" And sometimes can be the impossible dream. The objective of the dreams is to create a new reality that can be done simply, see possibilities, good with the bad, the impossible possible.

On the contrary, it is the role of parents to instruct the child in areas where it can fit more. While never discourage my children to try new things I can see where you may have more natural and can encourage their development in music, arts and Athletics when he can.The final decision on where I go, however, is their own.

7 is a screw up-I believe that children need guidance, not perfection.In fact, I believe that the role of parenting is the creation of integration is not perfection.Parenting, by design, is both parents formation as children.This approach is modest for parenting is transformational that parents learn about themselves and the world through the process of good parenting, as children.

8 companion for # 7-Say "sorry" quickly-I have no problem saying "I made it!" for my children.The reality is I blow it daily. While it is humbling to realize that my kids math skills already know more than ever, it is also reassuring.Parent cannot know all nor can any parent is everything for the child; a parent can, however, let us know that their children are cared for and that is not only.

9 Have a partner-either married or not, parents need support. I am grateful for my husband of 21 years who are gifted in ways that I never like our children grew up I am comforted in my husband how to untangle a link with our children. sometimes my parenting skill sets may be more appropriate for a given situation. Knowing the needs of children and what is needed now is a skill to be learned, as you know your child; please be patient with the process and with yourself.(See 7 & 8 above!)

10 Pray a lot-I believe that children are part of the life of an author who knows everything before taking a first ever actually. This is my prayer murky days of children, "you know what they need, to help them but me."

Maurie Traylor is the parent of two teenagers, holds a BS in family relationships and the development of the child from the University of Oklahoma and teaches Nurturing children for Tulsa Parent child Center. it considers that we can learn a lot of good parenting skills, and good to parents for a better world.

Sleeping Through the Night, Revised Edition: How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night's Sleep

noreply@blogger.com (Jack Bauer) — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 21:48:00 +0000

If your child is keeping you up at night, you're not alone. About 25 percent of all young children have trouble either falling asleep or staying asleep through the night. This comprehensive, easy-to-read book covers a range of sleep-related topics, from the basics (What is sleep?) to tips on bedtime routines and common sleep problems and disorders in children. Child psychologist and BabyCenter sleep expert Jodi Mindell provides a proven method that will teach your child to fall asleep and stay asleep. She even tackles sleeplessness in adults. Thoughtful and reassuring, this book will help weary parents cope with the challenges and stresses often associated with bedtime.

Price: $14.99

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Indigo Teen Dreams: Guided Relaxation Techniques Designed to Decrease Stress, Anger and Anxiety while Increasing Self-esteem and Self-awareness (Indigo Dreams)

noreply@blogger.com (Jack Bauer) — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 16:50:00 +0000

Indigo Teen Dreams allows teens to manage stress, anger, and anxiety while increasing self-esteem and self-awareness. Teens explore the research-based, stress-management techniques of breathing, visualizations, progressive muscular relaxation, and affirmationsor positive statements. This straight forward, easy to follow approach encourages teens to take charge of their own feelings and stress. It provides a safe place where teens can be themselves while not worrying about peer pressure or living up to any ones expectations. The male narrator is motivating, encouraging and soothing at the same time! Additional uplifting music sound tracks are provided to further enhance their relaxation experience. Teens are encouraged to make good choices and believe in themselves while managing stress and anger. Great for teens entering Middle School through High School.

Indigo Teen Dreams is an approachable way to introduce your teenager to harnessing the mind s power to improve self-esteem, deal with difficult emotional or social issues, and instill calm during the tenuous years between child and adulthood. The introduction provides context for affirmation and positive thinking in a manner that is the perfect combination of welcoming and informative. Teenagers can be very resistant to trying new things, so the guidance is subtle enough to be effective without any over-the-top vibes that might make a teenager giggle or roll her eyes. The music for the exercises is relaxing and calming, devoid of screaming guitars or chest-pounding backbeats. The songs are suitably contemporary and pleasing, providing a seamless background for teens to practice their newfound skills of affirmation, breathing, muscular relaxation, and visualization. - Jennifer Sommersby Young, Reviewed in Rewind Resource Guide 2006

Price: $15.95

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miBook MKPB30 Parenting Kit Includes Baby's First Year Guide

noreply@blogger.com (Jack Bauer) — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 13:21:00 +0000

Don't just read it- see it! miBook lets you parent like never before. Unlike a traditional parenting book, miBook explodes with video clips, images, and sound. Pediatricians, parents, and the experts at Parent TV guide you through each stage of your child's development. Now you can really understand every aspect of your baby's first year, from basic child care techniques, like diapering and bathing to tips to help your child fall asleep. Learn how to baby proof your home, wean your child, soother teething pains, and much more. There are more titles available: Cooking, Decorating, Gardening, Travel, and lots more Parenting. The beautiful 7" LCD display makes your photos and videos look great-no matter the format. Enjoy your favorite MP3 tunes through the 2 built in speakers or the headphone jack. With just a couple of simple clicks, you can even put your slideshow to music. Play home videos you download from the internet. Keep track of time with the built-in calendar and clock. Easily adjusts brightness, contrast, and color. Switch between standard 4:3 and 16:9 widescreen display modes.To enjoy your favorite images, simply plug in your camera's memory card (SD/MS/MCC/XD). Easy photo transfer by using the included USB cable to transfer photos, music, and video's from your computer. Power options include AC adapter and rechargeable li-polymer battery pack included. For Customer Service Support call 1 (800) 955-5505. Product specifications are: Display: 7.0" TFT LCD, Jpeg (still photo) Display: Non-progressive Jpeg. maximum Jpeg resolution: 16,384 (Horizontal) x No limitation (Vertical). Picture preview 12 images are shown in one screen. Video playback: supports MPEG1, MPEG2, MPEG4, AVI, and DIVX. Memory cards: SD/MS/MCC/XD. USB Format: 2.0 interface. Power Supply: Adapter: Input AC: 100~240V 50/60 Hz Output DC: 5V ---2A, Li-plymer battery: 3.7V, 2600 mA.

Price: $129.99

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Midwest-CBK "Bailey" Medium Purple Striped Monkey - as seen in Parenting Magazine!

noreply@blogger.com (Jack Bauer) — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 10:15:00 +0000

Playful, fun and cute! Children will enjoy the mischievous nature of these delightful characters. Bailey is 22" tall and made of acrylic yarn. Head, hands & feet have magnets, so they stick to all things metal or each other!

Price: $24.95

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