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Playing With House Pancakes

2009-07-03T01:55:00.003-04:00

You want to know why I didn't flinch when Shaqobronix, or whatever it's called, came to pass? Why I was lukewarm on the Celtics, and to this day think my premonition was right? It's because this is what a real meeting of the minds should feel like.Let's stop momentarily and honor Trevor Ariza, who will have a bright career elsewhere, starting with Houston, where he will either make okay to like

Taking One For the Team: On Converting Your S.O. Into A Sports Fan

2009-07-01T12:40:00.002-04:00

With the draft dead and summer league weeks away, it's time to ponder other matter. Hence, we turn to Jim Ruland for some sports/relationship advice. Jim is the author of Big Lonesome, a collection of short stories, none of which are about Chris Kaman.Now you’ve done it. You’ve gone against your best instincts and worst intentions. You’ve risked ridicule from your friends and put your free time (

French Furniture

2009-06-29T20:21:00.006-04:00

Sportsfans, I feel so old media, the way every time I pick up my pointer finger to start typing, it’s already been covered, re-covered, and thoroughly digested. Nonetheless, allow me to ponder some recent events. Richard Jefferson. Amazing deal for the

Toss Off Those Glittery Outlaws

2009-06-29T11:36:00.001-04:00

So that's how I found myself in the position of reputationally damaging one of my favorite players.On Saturday, when the sun should've been setting and I should've been buying chicken broth, I ended up having an impassioned phone conversation with Chris Littmann over those Jennings/Budden tapes. I hadn't taped them off the original camera feed, or put them on message boards, hip-hip with a trace

You Take All You Can

2009-06-26T16:36:00.000-04:00

Last night was totally discombobulating and snuck up on me, weird-wise, like various things that kill you. After it was all over, I tore out my teeth trying to decide if I liked the possible Amare-to-GSW trade, and realized in the process that my very being was at stake. So that's a longer post that will get written over the weekend. In the meantime, here's 1,000 words on the Jennings/Rubio

We Live in Crazy Times

2009-06-25T17:45:00.003-04:00

Draft coverage starts in 35 minutes, and I gotta head home, so I don't miss any essential Jay Bilas moments. Shoals will be Covering It Live over at the Baseline, and I'll be getting all a-Twitter (ha! bet no one's ever used that one before!).If you're looking for something to do between picks, you could do worse than downloading this polka track from legendary free jazz saxophonist Frank

O Darkest Night

2009-06-25T01:58:00.000-04:00

Below please find some amazing links, and the latest podcast.-Earlier posts here, on draft fashion psychoanalysis and important details culled from past telecasts. -My virulent, FD-friendly, reaction to the Shaq trade.-Joey, after being crucified for his NY-centrism, has decided to change horses and look to the Wolves that could be.-On the latest FD Presents: The Disciples of Clyde NBA Podcast,

Social Studies Was Fun

2009-06-24T21:36:00.000-04:00

If you haven't already, read Shoals's analysis of the 2009 Draft portraits.Over the last three days, I've spent each morning watching old drafts on NBA TV. Please enjoy these remembrances, observations, and lost moments from years past:- Bob Neal, in 1991: "If Bill Walton wrote the book on big-men passing, Luc Longley probably read it." Unfortunately, he relied on Cliff's Notes for the rest of

You've Got The Look!

2009-06-24T15:52:00.000-04:00

I always thought these things came out after the draft, but here these are. Okay, so maybe they always come out beforehand; perhaps I didn't notice until this year because so much is unsettled, so many players looking to define themselves amidst the din, that such images matter more than usual. Anyway, here's my cursory do/don't take on these, with apologies to Billups:For someone so gangly on

Collapse in Reverse

2009-06-21T14:35:00.001-04:00

Read the official FD Mock!You don't need to warn me about the perils of drafting based on potential—what it seems like a player might be able to do one day. I have both been seduced by, and gotten endless mileage out of, this rotting cliche of NBA scouting. There's a distinction to be made, which I've done several times and don't feel like doing again, between "might be able to do" and "could be

FreeDrafto #24883131: The Mock

2009-06-19T01:36:00.000-04:00

We may never be capable of answering with "FreeDarko" means, but explaining the basis of the FD Mock Draft is a lot simpler. Like the real thing, it involves a sometimes delicate balance between best available and best fit—or in this case, most FD player and most FD state of affairs. Your pickers, in order: The Brown Recluse, Esq., Joey Litman, Tom Ziller, yours truly, and Ty Keenan. Honeysuckle

Get a New Mazda

2009-06-18T13:31:00.001-04:00

Belated Blogs with Balls thoughts in a second. But first:This reminds of a Painted Area post that boldly and matter-of-factly declared Jennings the third-best prospect in the draft. This was based on actual observation, whereas everyone else was going on murky deductions about what Euro stats did or didn't mean, or a handful or anecdotal reports that trickled in from interested parties.After

Why Is It Gnawing on Arkansas?

2009-06-16T16:13:00.004-04:00

Not so long ago, I was out at a party, and I met a Dallas Mavericks fan from Eudora, AR who closely follows NBA basketball. We shall call him Frank. Frank professes no extraordinary fondness for any other team, though he does hate Kobe Bryant. Frank is twenty-three, and he has spent his whole life in Arkansas, Tennessee, and Missouri. Frank turns twenty-four this fall, meaning that he wasn't yet

The 5000-Year Picnic

2009-06-15T10:20:00.001-04:00

You people are so thick sometimes. Anyone with two blind eyes could tell that this foray into Simmons-friendly Tollywood was, in fact, a premature tribute to those winnin' Lakers, and longtime FD fave Kobe Bryant. Congrats, weird guy!For those of you wanting a less heavy-handed way to talk about THE TITLE (and yes, it is that), please read my Baseline column on the matter. No joke, this was about

Boomshakalaka

2009-06-14T15:42:00.001-04:00

That's Chiranjeevi, the most famous Tollywood actor of all-time, schooling some creeps on the hardwood in the greatest finish to a basketball game film patrons have ever seen. The people who wrote that scene had clearly only experienced the sport in NBA Jam, so they treat us to unreal handles, glowing balls, and fluctuations in the space-time continuum. Except this is way better than the game,

The Pickle Tantrum

2009-06-12T17:08:00.001-04:00

I have numb hands and fingers, and might need an IV, so really quick on these.-Welcome the top of the FD draft board, Mr. Jennings. Question: When he says "3-guard," is that really Euro, really street, or the hybrid he was born to rep?(Or can I not say "rep" now that I've been thrown out of hip-hop fantasy camp?)-This week's episode of "FreeDarko Presents the Disciples of Clyde NBA Podcast." Just

So You Can See Me Now

2009-06-11T09:32:00.001-04:00

It's rarely stated explicitly, but FD has a long and lasting connection to hip-hop. For all our jazz pretensions and obvious Pitchfork ties, many of us were shaped and formed by rap music, and spent many long hours trying to make sense of our place as fans and, in some cases, participants. All I know is that, no matter what they take from me, they can't take away the first time I heard Rakim, or

Crossing the Rubiocon

2009-06-10T09:58:00.005-04:00

Jelani the Elder is a young man living and writing in NYC. When he’s not writing, he’s busy plugging Epilogue Magazine. He's hoping FD will have him back soon, as he's already started on his magnum opus, "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Clippers: The Blake Griffin story." In the notebooks of scouts abroad and at home, Ricky Rubio has been, all at once, the future and a throwback. He’

How We Saved the World, Again

2009-06-05T14:33:00.000-04:00

Don't ask me how a post about Rep. Steve Cohen's age limit remarks, and Cohen himself, ended up on The Baseline. Oh, I forgot: Because that's where everything corporate and boring goes to die.Anyway, this got myself and Joey talking about the rule, with me explaining to him the exemption/cap-and-trade system devised on last week's podcast. For those of you who didn't make it that far, Dan, Ken,

Carrying Torches...

2009-06-04T14:42:00.004-04:00

This week's edition of FreeDarko Presents the Disciples of Clyde NBA Podcast features Dan and Ken taking a journey through the darkness with Shoals and podcast pioneer J.E. Skeets of Ball Don't Lie. They provide a timely summary of where we've been and where we're headed.The Podcast:Tunes:"Some Kinda Fatigue" - Yo La Tengo"The Overly Dramatic Truth" - El-P"Sleep, Eat Food, Have Visions" - Four

FreeDrafto #6.545245: We'll Always Have Promises

2009-06-03T14:33:00.002-04:00

FD kicks off its draft coverage by looking forward in order to look forward to looking back. Like, awards we hope we'll be able to give out one day. Participants: Brown Recluse, Joey Litman, Tom Ziller, Ty Keenan, and yours truly.Least Likely to Dunk in a Game: Jeff Adrien. Dude could barely finish in traffic when he was playing against other 6'6" power forwards. Now what's going to happen? In a

Toothpicks Do Not Add up to Salvation

2009-06-02T03:40:00.002-04:00

Religious converts are often the most zealous about being pious. I was going to write that they fervently "act as though they are the most pious," but that's not fair, really. It's not an act because there is no intended deception. Rather, their faith is merely new, and often, the ardor with which they embrace it suggests making up for lost time. They sort of have to live like this, though, if

When Stations Shift, You Find Your Own

2009-05-31T13:26:00.001-04:00

Not that I think it's my God-given duty to size up the Finals and decide who's up, who's down, but you've got to admit that Lakers/Magic does present a certain number of curious proposition. For one, these two are neither mismatched nor equals. It's like they exist in parallel universes. The Lakers, as we all know, as flushed to the gills with ability, but only periodically harness it all. The

We Atone, You Listen

2009-05-29T11:39:00.000-04:00

We're traveling light this week on FDPTDOCNBAP, as Dan and myself sit down with the mighty Kevin Pelton to talk about what we got wrong about the playoffs. The ray of hope comes when we stop to marvel at the that great variegated snake we call the Orlando Magic. Then at the end we ponder what could cause the age limit to change, how it's bad for standardized testing and college admissions

Guest Lecture: All This (Rocket) Science I Don't Understand

2009-05-27T13:15:00.000-04:00

Today’s FD guest lecturer is Chi Tung, a man who may or may not refer to himself as the Chinese Stallion (after all, it is what his name means). When he’s not wearing lensless glasses for a tech show on state-run Chinese television, he moonlights as a writer, for publications ranging from the Huffpo to Asia Pacific Arts.Now that the 2009 Houston Rockets have bowed out for good (bless their