Freelancer Mom

The New Demands of On-Demand

noreply@blogger.com (Sally Bacchetta) — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 04:03:00 +0000

WAHM Cheryl Ralston shares her observations of our on-demand lifestyles. I hope that after you read her piece you'll share how on-demand affects your life, both positively and negatively. Thanks, Cheryl, for provoking thought.

I’ve always thought of the word “demand” as a rather negative, impolite word. “I demand my dinner." “Women today have too many demands on their time.” Yet more and more I get the message that it’s socially acceptable to demand.

I work for a software company that is a leader in delivering "On-Demand" software solutions. In other words, our users deal with the software only when they need it, but otherwise don’t have to think about it or take care of it. My cable company offers me “movies on-demand”. I can get my prescriptions on-demand by refilling online.

I’ve been thinking about how on-demand has changed the way we manage our lives. How does it affect our parenting and homemaking? What about our approach to our work?

Because we’ve developed this on-demand expectation, we have no patience when we find ourselves waiting for the doctor or standing in the grocery check-out or sitting at a red light.

I witness my children’s approach to schoolwork. When term papers or projects are assigned they simply go to the internet, Google all the research and illustrations they need, then cut and paste it together. TaDa!!! They’ve adopted on-demand learning.

They’ve never had to sit in a library manually copying tons of material because they weren’t allowed to check-out the research books and copy machines didn’t exist. They don’t know what it’s like to sit in front of a typewriter, praying you don’t make a mistake because corrections make the paper very messy. Technology has made the work far less labor intensive. But I’m certain it’s not replacing the amount of time their brain needs to actually LEARN the material.

I observe my children in their social interactions. They don’t make plans until the last minute. Or they make a plan and then change it at the last minute, causing everyone in the household to adjust to the new plan. “C’mon, Mom”, they say. “Get a grip. We’re just going to the movies. Who really cares if we change our plans?” They sit in their bedroom on a Saturday evening until 10 pm, lulling me into that comfort zone all parents find when we know our teenagers are safe at home, and then announce that they are, in fact, going out and “What’s the problem, Mom? My curfew isn’t until midnight.”

The problem is that their inability to stick to a plan is 1. disrespectful to everyone involved; 2. not helping them learn how to make and follow through on a commitment; and 3. creating an all-around impression of unreliability.

On-demand tells them they need not consider anything beyond their own immediate gratification, however, their mother tells them that they need to develop patience, self-discipline, respect and consideration for other people, an appreciation of the value of hard work, and a million other things that will turn them into good people and serve them well as conscientious, productive adults. It’s hard enough without all the distractions our culture offers.

What do you think? How does on-demand impact your life? Do you think it’s positive or negative, and how are you managing it? -- Cheryl Ralston

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

Ditch the Revolution? Never!

noreply@blogger.com (Sally Bacchetta) — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 21:35:00 +0000

Today is National Ditch Your New Years Resolutions Day. How sad is it that we have a designated day for giving up on ourselves?

This is one WAHM who refuses to give up. I've kept all three of my "revolutions" on the same day only once since the new year rolled in. Yep. Just once. But most days I've kept at least two of them, and that's more than I would do if I ditched them altogether.

So I raise my decaf coffee to you (it's after 2:00) and ask "How's your revolution going?"

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

WAHM: New Year's Revolutions

noreply@blogger.com (Sally Bacchetta) — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 18:44:00 +0000

Shortly after I launched my freelance writing business I announced to my husband and the mirror that my work day ends at 5:00 p.m. I would happily handle dinner preparations, mail sorting, personal errands, gardening, and calls to my mother-in-law after the close of my business day.

That worked really well until our daughter was born and I fell clutching and screaming from the highwire of my perfect work/life balance and slammed into the unyielding reality of WAHM-hood.

For a long time all I did was wipe... her chin, her butt, her fingers, the counter, the floor, the rug, my lap, my shirt, Daddy's shoulder, strangers' hands...

After about six weeks I managed to eat breakfast and get dressed on the same day. She celebrated by screaming from 5:30 to 9:00 that night and every night thereafter for the next month.

Somehow, in the blur of wiping and screaming and 45-minute sleeping I loved her more every day and actually completed some work for my clients. It was the closest I've come to developing psychosis.

We've all learned a lot since then, and I've regained a fair portion of the work/life balance I had pre-WAHM, but not as much or as consistently as I'd like. Therefore, I'm making three New Year's resolutions - which I call revolutions, because although they seem simple enough, my mastery of them will revolutionize my daily life:

1. I will eat breakfast before leaving the house.
2. I will not have any caffeine after 2:00 p.m.
3. I will spend 30 minutes every day doing something just for me. I can kickbox, do yoga, read, play my flute, listen to music, look at old photo albums, journal, sit by the lake... anything that is truly for me. (No cheating by cleaning out a closet or making a grocery list "because I feel better when things are organized.")

I realize now that there's no way for my writer work day to end at 5:00. Some days it doesn't begin until after 7:00 p.m.! But even if I never return to the highwire, with good balance I can climb higher up the ladder. And that's a good day's work.

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

WAHM: Space... The Final Frontier

noreply@blogger.com (Sally Bacchetta) — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 20:52:00 +0000

"My husband doesn't understand my need to keep the hallway closet empty. I just finished cleaning it out and he doesn't understand why I don’t want him to put anything in there… I thought you might."

"All I want is one day when I don’t have to rush. I feel like I’m always hurrying… no matter what I’m doing I’m trying to get done fast because I’ve got other things to do. Then I have to do them fast so I can get onto the next thing. I’m tired of hurrying. Do you ever feel like that or is it just me?”

“That’s it. I give up. I can’t keep clearing out the same sippy cups and shoes and junk mail… and Kroger receipts… and the next day it’s all back again, all over the house and the car… like I didn’t do anything. I can’t do it anymore. Just let the mess come. I give up.”

Three different voice mail messages from three different WAHMs, but I think they’re all about the same thing. Space.

When we talk about work/life balance we’re really talking about space, aren’t we? We’re trying to make room for ourselves and our families and our work – in a limited space. Time management, clutter busters, feng shui, 15-minute meals… all about creating space, or at least the feeling of space.

I love white space – an unadorned wall or the rare blank square on my calendar; it feels like designated breathing room. Airspace.

I need outer space for running down a hill or jumping hard into a wide puddle. I need inner space for reflection and becoming. When I’m hunting ants I need crawl space. Doing yoga I need sprawl space. For thinking I need head space, and I can't imagine life as a writer without back space.

My husband is my safe space. My daughter is my play space. The big flat rock under the cottonwoods? That's definitely My Space.

Are you winning your space race?

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

WAHM: Aim High

noreply@blogger.com (Sally Bacchetta) — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 19:31:00 +0000

In addition to the observance of Labor Day today is National Skyscraper Day. Aim high in your labors!

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

WAHM: Yummy vs. Slummy

noreply@blogger.com (Sally Bacchetta) — Sun, 12 Aug 2007 11:43:00 +0000

Hello, WAHMs. I have to interrupt our summer hiatus with this great article by Kathleen Deveny. I hope you will set aside a few minutes and follow this link to her piece Yummy vs. Slummy. Many thanks to Mary Holley for sending it to me.

I'm looking forward to "seeing" all of you again on September 4th.

Live well,

Sally

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

WAHM: Business Partners

noreply@blogger.com (Sally Bacchetta) — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 12:55:00 +0000

Just in time for Father's Day Holly Swantek of Holly Swantek PR offers this clever and thoughtful celebration of her husband in his role as a WAHM booster. Holly shares five smart, realistic strategies for getting the most from your most important home-based partnership. Great job, Holly. Thanks!

Not long after Sally asked me to contribute an article on how my husband has helped me to be a successful WAHM, I was inspired by a pearl of wisdom from my 5-year-old son, dispensed over breakfast as my husband hustled around the kitchen and out the door to catch a plane.

"Mom," he said. "If Dad is on a trip then you're in charge, and if you're on a trip then Dad's in charge. Right?"

From the mouths of babes, that's how it works -- after 7 1/2 years of me working from home, we've finally morphed into a seamless team that supports a WAHM environment. Like anything worth doing, it hasn't always been easy. But today, the rewards are ours to share. Here are my Top Five Tips on how to make it work.

Banish 'Boy vs. Girl'
I bring home some bacon, fry it up in the pan, tie up the garbage, pull the recycling to the curb & hit grounders to my son when Dad can't make practice. My husband takes little temperatures in the middle of the night, folds and puts away laundry, fixes scrambled eggs and wields a toilet brush with the best of 'em. Neither of us has time for gender stereotypes.

Hold Regular Strategy Sessions
The topic of these meetings may flow from the kids' allowance, to his travel schedule, to specific projects either of us is working on, to why we got a cat without telling him first. (The kids called him from the pet store, it's not my fault we didn't have good cell reception!) Regardless of what's discussed, these sessions must occur. Over morning coffee. Over a glass of wine in the evening. Over the children's heads at the playground. They must occur.

Protect the Glass Ceiling
And the glass shower, the tile floor, the washer & dryer, and whatever else may need repair. A household issue quickly becomes a workplace issue for a WAHM. If husband travels a fair amount and neither of you is a talented do-it-your-selfer, then resolve to do whatever you have to do to get the job done. This usually means picking up the phone and calling for help. It hurts to pay for something you think you should do yourself, but it will save you tenfold in sanity down the road.

Promote From Within
Be generous with titles. Around the house, my husband is CEO and I am COO. In my business, I am Founder & President, and my husband is Director of IT and Strategic Consultant, but if I think he can take on more, I will give it to him. When I asked him how he has helped me to be a successful WAHM, he replied: "There's not enough blog space in the world for everything I do!" His confidence has been rewarded with a new title: Chief of Exaggerated Claims...perfect for a public relations business! And finally,

When All Else Fails, Remember You're On the Same Team

Holly Swantek

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

WAHM: Update

noreply@blogger.com (Sally Bacchetta) — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 19:24:00 +0000

Hello, friends!

I hope you're all well and enjoying the summer season.

I've been away from my post due to a family emergency, but I'm here again and looking forward to getting back in touch with all of you.

We have some new articles in the works for Father's Day - it's not all about the Dads! - and some ideas for celebrating World Sauntering Day, the Summer Solstice, and Camera Day.

I hope you'll check back soon to share your unique wisdom and find out how other WAHMs are making it work.

For now, hug your kids, hug your honey, hug yourself. It's National Hug Day!

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

WAHM: National Procrastination Day

noreply@blogger.com (Sally Bacchetta) — Fri, 01 Jun 2007 06:34:00 +0000

Today is National Procrastination Day. I've been meaning to tell you that.

From what I remember, there are productivity advantages to working in an office cubicle. Not much to look at except the work to be done. Not much to hear except your boss asking when the work will be done. Once the desk calendar has been doodled over and the phone cord uncurled, there's not much else to do except... the work to be done.

But working from home...

I should be able to knock this re-write off today with no problem. Maybe I'll just mix this cookie dough real quick and let it chill while I check my email.

Hi Sally, I need to have a sales training program written by mid-June. Are you available?
Dear Sally, I think my life would make a great story. After our divorce my husband stole a car and robbed a lingerie store. We reunited while he was in prison and he was able to break out in time for the twins' first birthday party. When my mother caught him cheating on her with her best friend she put rat poison in his coffee, but luckily he just had whiskey that morning. This is only the beginning. Please contact me if you're interested in writing this book for me.
Hey Sal, Mom and Dad are planning a trip to NY. Did you finish off your basement yet? Call me!

Hmmm. You know, I could toss a pan or two of cookies in the oven and let them bake while I get started on this re-write.

Actually, these bake so fast I might as well stay close. I'll re-pack the diaper bag, take the first pan out, put the second one in, and then start my work.

Diapers, diapers. Where's that new box of diapers? Oh yeah, it's in the garage. Well, we're going to need the cooler for this weekend, so let me just bring that back in with me. I'll clean it later.

OK. Diaper bag packed. Ready to work.

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. That was fast! Hot pan out. New pan in. Wash the sticky dough bowl... OK. Time to type!

Andragogy is best defined as the study of--- That cooler is nagging at my peripheral vision. Better turn my chair around. Actually, it's so hot down here with the oven on. Why don't I just clean the cooler now and move back to my office when the cookies are done?

Etc.

What do you do instead of your work when you're supposed to be working?

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

WAHM: Advice From My Big Sister

noreply@blogger.com (Sally Bacchetta) — Mon, 28 May 2007 18:51:00 +0000

"The things that made you fall in love are the things that will challenge you most in your marriage." My sister Laurie said that to me almost ten years ago, and she's been right the whole time.

While planning May entries for this blog I decided to ask my big sister's advice again. Laurie is a WAHM with two children and a home/car office. I asked her how being a mom makes her a better employee and how working makes her a better mom. What struck me most about her response is that aside from "Don't leave anything until the last minute", it's all about attitude. The attitudes that keep joy in her parenting also keep joy in her professional work. I hope that her suggestions will help you keep joy in the many roles you play in your life. Thanks, Laurie!

Don’t leave anything to the last minute. If you plan to stop by K-Mart and pick up costumes on the way home from work on October 31, you will inevitably have to work overtime on a project that can’t wait, leaving your children in tears because they have to Trick-or-Treat as bed-sheet ghosts again instead of the matching Ninja Turtles they had their hearts set on. Likewise, leaving a work assignment ‘til the last day (“I’ll just finish it in the morning when I’m fresh”) is a guarantee that at least one child will wake up the next morning with chicken pox.

Start every day with a fresh slate. Cleaning off your desk before you leave the office is as important as clearing the dishes out of the sink before you go to bed. These small glimpses of order may well be the highlight of your day.

Smile, nod and look interested. It will make someone’s day. This works equally well with a boring co-worker or stressed out spouse as it does with your first grader -- “And then Susie walked up and said ‘Hi’ and I said ‘Hi’ and then we went over to the swings and then Adam came up and said ‘Hi’ but I’m not sure I like him and then the teacher looked over and said ...”

Treasure the silence; it is fleeting. My favorite holiday used to be President’s Day – the kids had school and I didn’t have to work. Make the most of a quiet moment... whenever you find it.

Pick your battles. Does it really matter if your office gets moved? Does it really matter if your toddler insists on wearing snow boots all spring? Keep your perspective and fight for what’s really important. Besides, how many battles do we ever really win with a two year old?

Move on, and don’t say “I told you so.” So you know full well that your client’s ideas are so last week. You also know that your son’s first girlfriend will break his heart. Give your advice when you’re asked for it, and don’t be upset when it isn’t taken. Most people ask for advice to reinforce what they’ve already decided to do. It’s just not good form to say “I told you so” after the inevitable train wreck occurs.

Remember that’s it not just about you. There is nothing like motherhood to put your personal ego on the back burner. Rather than pine for your lost self, re-frame it as an opportunity to learn the fine arts of persuasion, compassion, empathy and teamwork.

My father used to tell us that the boss may not always be right, but he’s always the boss. The same is true about your kids. Enjoy it all!
Laurie

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

WAHM: Manage to Find Time

noreply@blogger.com (Sally Bacchetta) — Mon, 21 May 2007 18:49:00 +0000

Here's another good article about making time for yourself. This one is from Cheryl, a WAHM with two kids and stellar time-management skills. Thanks, Cheryl!

Like most WAHMs, I spend my days mostly doing things for other people. My kids need this, my boss needs that, business travel here and there… it would be easy to short-change time for myself. But I know that if I don’t take care of myself I can’t be fully present for my kids or my work (or myself), so I make it a priority to take at least a little bit of “me time” every day.

When I began working from home three years ago, I gained somewhere between 8 and 10 hours a week of productivity just by eliminating my commute. Now I use that time before the rest of corporate America clocks in, for myself.

I run (well, mostly walk) a few miles and try to clear my head for the day ahead. I pray or think through issues with the kids or work. It’s a wonderful quiet time completely on my own.

I read every night before I go to sleep. My only bedtime rule is that the reading material is purely entertainment. No daily devotions, heavy biographies, or professional development. I want to get lost in the characters and settings of some wonderfully written novel. This, to me, is heaven and has been my joy since I was very young.

I’ve found that “me time” doesn’t have to mean “just me”. My kids are old enough to stay home without a babysitter, which frees me to get together most Saturday mornings at the coffee shop with a handful of friends, to share burdens or blessings, and to build each other up. I also belong to a bible study group, and I frequently call my sister just to catch up.

We’re all busy, and some days are easier than others. But if you’re committed to taking care of yourself, here are my Top Three Tips to help you do that:

• Get organized. You’ll feel better and you won’t waste time hunting for keys or shoes or cell-phones if you put things away. Keep up with a household routine, and start early teaching the kids how to pitch in and pick up after themselves.

• Be a good manager. Chances are you're in charge of the household schedule. So manage it. Be realistic about your commitments. How long does it take you to grocery shop or give a two-year-old a bath? The kids have t-ball and ballet tonight. Do you really have time to make brownies for the bake sale?

• Keep looking. If you think you can’t find time for yourself, maybe you’re not looking in the right place. You matter as much as anyone else in your life. If you have so much on your plate that there’s no room for you, something else needs to come off.

Cheryl

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

WAHM: National Memo Day

noreply@blogger.com (Sally Bacchetta) — Mon, 21 May 2007 12:05:00 +0000

Today is National Memo Day.

Memo to self: This is temporary.

Memo to my husband: I admire you more than you realize.

Memo to the man behind me at the grocery store checkout: Yes, I hear your heavy sighs. And I hear your jangling keys. And still, it takes as long as it takes.

Memo to everyone who works at or manages a drive-thru restaurant: "Just a small decaf, please" really means "Just a small decaf, please". I promise I didn't forget that I wanted a crispy mandarin-honey chicken salad, Jumbo fries, an aquarium-size soft drink, and three toll house cookies to go with it.

Memo to the drive-through worker: Three toll house cookies, please.

Memo to my BFF: I still can't believe it.

Post your memos here in honor of National Memo Day!

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

WAHM Survey: National Pack Rat Day

noreply@blogger.com (Sally Bacchetta) — Thu, 17 May 2007 21:46:00 +0000

Today is National Pack Rat Day.

What's on your desk?

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

WAHM: Time for You

noreply@blogger.com (Sally Bacchetta) — Wed, 16 May 2007 11:31:00 +0000

We're almost halfway through Women's Health Week 2007. How are you doing? I'm sleep deprived and facing another chock-full day, but this article by Holly Swantek has given me a new perspective.

Holly is a fellow WAHM who has found a way to make time for herself no matter how full her schedule is. Enjoy! Thanks for sharing, Holly!

A favorite indulgence of mine is a deluxe midweek brunch, seating for one. It's the kind of brunch that's usually reserved for Mother's Day. An omelette cooked in olive oil, with broccoli or asparagus, maybe some purple onion, whatever I have on hand. I grate fresh parmesano cheese over the top, add a grinding of black pepper, surround it with thick slices of a pretty red tomato, add a crusty roll or english muffin smeared with hummus or cream cheese...maybe some cantaloupe or Girl Scout thin mints for dessert...and a big glass of OJ. I eat at the coffee table -- where food is not allowed! -- with only the cat stretched out to watch. Scrumptious, I say to myself! The best meal of the week!

But then the phone rings. The computer beeps. Someone's at the door. And I'm off and running again. How am I going to get to my next brunch?

Soon after becoming a WAHM I realized that "time for myself" was slim and on the way to none. Caring for my family and managing my business leaves me very little time or energy for myself, so I've learned to squeeze out time for myself where none really exists. It's a matter of perspective.

When I begin to feel like a role rather than a real person -- the driver, the baker, the candlestick maker -- I use perspective to turn a situation that doesn't feel like it's for me into some time for myself.

Here's what I mean:
Three times a week I have to waste 45 minutes on a hot, honking rush-hour drive to take my son to baseball practice.
OR
Three times a week I get to spend 45 uninterrupted minutes with my son, a cold drink, and a John Mayer CD. It's time away from unplugging a drain or unglue-ing the cat's mouth... Gee, honey. You'll have to do it. I'm in the car. Can't find your book report/gym shorts/brown shoes/boss's number...? Can't help ya. I'm in the car. By midweek, I can't wait for the drive to baseball practice for some time to myself.

When I'm in my mobile office (piled up in my lawn chair with a stack of client work, my cell phone and the land line from the house) I'm also outside enjoying the fresh air and watching the kids play. That counts as time to myself.

One of my sisters has a toddler, a newborn, a dog, and recently completed an online course from home to advance her Montessori teaching credentials. Yesterday she leaned over her kitchen sink and ate a Fat Boy ice cream sandwich with her kids swarming underfoot. "Everyone was still around, but it only took 30 seconds to scarf it down!" she reported. She counted that as time to herself.

Most WAHMs don't have enough time for themselves. But if you harness the power of perspective, you may find that you have more time than you think.

As I reclined in the dentist's chair with a gas mask over my face and the TV screen overhead I realized that I was kind of excited about this alone time. "Are you comfortable," the dentist asked as I began to relax. "Are you kidding?!" I mumbled. "This is the first time I've ever gotten the remote all to myself."
Holly Swantek

Contact Holly at Holly Swantek Public Relations - swantek@bellsouth.net.

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

WAHM: The Ultimate Mother's Day

noreply@blogger.com (Sally Bacchetta) — Sat, 12 May 2007 20:59:00 +0000

Some days it seems like all I do is fill and refill. Just once, I'd like to have everything full at the same time.

My husband, my kid, and myself, so no one needs to be fed.

A drawer full of full pens. A head full of new ideas. A vase full of fresh flowers for inspiration.

I'd like to have the maximum recommended air pressure in all of our bicycle tires.

How about the diaper bag, the gym bag and the lawnmower gas can - all full at the same time?

My water bottle. My gas tank. My windshield wiper fluid. Full, full, and full.

The fire extinguisher, the first aid kit, the linen closet, sock drawers... dare I dream of a full can of new tennis balls?

I'd like for every box of tissues in the house to be full. Every spice jar in the rack and every cup in the egg carton... full.

How 'bout a full jug of soymilk to wash down my full cookie jar? And speaking of wash, I'd even like a full laundry hamper, so at least I'd know where I stand.

I'd like my printer full of toner, my fax machine full of paper, and my Inbox full of acceptance letters. My Outbox, of course, should brim with a column, a few articles, and a book manuscript - all complete and brilliantly crafted.

Please, for Mother's Day, will someone fill the ice cube trays? Fully charge the dust buster and fill my prescription? Would you replace my old, flattish pillow with a full, fluffy new one?

Maybe tomorrow morning (having gotten a full night's sleep) my husband and I will watch as our daughter is fully content playing by herself for a full five minutes. And maybe my husband will gaze at me with eyes full of love and a pot full of steaming coffee. And as I reflect with a full heart on our wonderfully full life, I'll know that although I usually see the glass as half-full, in fact, my cup runneth over. I hope yours does, too.

Happy Mother's Day!

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

Joy!

noreply@blogger.com (Sally Bacchetta) — Tue, 08 May 2007 11:55:00 +0000

"When did you become so joyless?"

I shiver every time I recall that line from the movie American Beauty. It's disturbing to think that anyone, especially a mother, can become joyless.

How does one become joyless? Can it happen to me? After all, I skip meals. I postpone doctor visits. I let my hair get too long. Do I do enough to nurture my joy?

Yes, I believe that I do. More on some days than others, of course, and with more or less effort depending on how crowded my To Do list is, but I have to say that mine is a joyous life.

Here are two ideas from Woman's Day magazine (Make Way for Joy, June 2007) for cultivating a JOYOUS life.

1. "Look for something that makes your body and mind feel so wonderful that you start to crave it," says Joan Borysenko, PhD., author of Inner Peace for Busy Women.

When our precious daughter was born I slingshotted myself into motherhood, and I'm embarassed to admit how long it was before I cared at all about my own appearance (my poor husband) or preferences or interests. It took a medical scare for me to realize that unless I made time for myself irresistible, I probably wouldn't have any. So now, instead of breaking promises to myself to workout in the basement (boooooring!), I'm back in tap class getting ready for a summer tour. And my flute and I re-joined the choir at church, so I have to pay more attention to my music and my faith. How do you make yourself irresistible to you?

2. "Let your soul catch up," advises Candace Pert, Ph.D., a biologist and author of Everything You Need to Know to Feel Go(o)d. She says, "If you kick back and do nothing for 20 minutes, your soul can catch up."

Are you kidding me? I never "do nothing" anymore, even at a red light! But I can do less. I can slow down. And when a little hand slips into mine to tug me from the sink I'm scrubbing, I can toss the brillo pad and dash off to lick play dough and dance like a cat. Because happiness has a way of settling in, but real joy must be romped after and wrestled into place.

Over the next two weeks I'll be posting contributions on this topic from some other WAHMs. I hope you'll check back soon to read their thoughts and ideas.

And tell us... how do you create joy in your life?

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

WAHM: May Day

noreply@blogger.com (Sally Bacchetta) — Tue, 01 May 2007 11:53:00 +0000

Welcome to May! It's going to be a busy month here on the Freelancer Mom Blog.

May has been designated as the month to appreciate barbecue, eggs, and salad, so check back throughout the month for our WAHM Blog Recipe Swap features.

May is the month to Date Your Mate, Sleep Better, Revise Your Work Schedule, and Improve Your Mental Health, and we've got some great articles and resources to help you do all of that.

There's Mother's Day, of course, followed by Women's Health Week, National Chocolate Chip Day, Pack Rat Day, and National Memo Day. Be on the lookout for surveys, Open Q&A, and other chances for you to share your voice with other WAHMs.

Thanks to all of you who have contributed your unique selves to our online community. Keep it coming! I'm looking forward to hearing from the rest of you soon. And please, send this blog link to any other WAHMs you know. We all have so much to offer and receive from each other.

Make a great day!

Sally

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

Have I Made The Right Choice? - by Cheryl

noreply@blogger.com (Sally Bacchetta) — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 19:57:00 +0000

When I was a little girl my best friend and I played a game called ‘Harriet the Spy’. (We were mad for the book!) We walked around the neighborhood with notebooks, staked out in strategic locations, and collected clues to solve a mystery. What mystery? Well, there wasn’t one, really, so we sort of made one up based on the clues we collected.

This is a game that I continue to play as an adult. In airports or in the dentist’s waiting room I make up stories about the people around me. By observing recycling bins and other yard art I learn a great deal about the people who live in my neighborhood. Sometimes this game leads to serious introspection. As I watch my neighbors drive off to work, I sometimes wonder if I’ve made the right choices.

Working from home means that I’ve eliminated many of the nuisances that come with a work day, but it could also mean that I’ve cut myself off from things vital to career development. Who’s promoting my accomplishments or thinking of me for a new project when I’m not physically there to represent myself? Who knows about my commitment level when I’m always joining via conference call?

Flexibility throughout the day is a great perk for a WAHM, but am I doing my very best professionally by constantly intermingling my home and work lives? Am I as focused as my colleagues in the office? Could I be earning more or gaining more notoriety in my field if I were in a more ‘traditional’ work environment? The intelligent, ambitious woman in me often asks these hard questions.

What do you think?

I think that it doesn’t really matter. Yes, maybe I could get more attention from the boss if I were in an office next to his, but in the end, what will that do? I allow my faith and family to guide my choices, including the one to become a WAHM.

I need only pass through my front door and take in the feeling of the home I share with my children to realize that mostly I’ve made the right choices. Being a WAHM creates challenges but they’re not insurmountable, and they’re absolutely not enough to pull me back into the game. I know what I can accomplish, and I happily take on the responsibility of doing it from my virtual office.

We work hard enough as parents so why find a way to question or feel guilty about a good decision? I hope that faith and family become my legacy and if that’s really what defines me in the end, what difference will it make what I did at work?

Cheryl

WAHM: "What's For Dinner?"

noreply@blogger.com (Sally Bacchetta) — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 20:34:00 +0000

As I debate whether to wake my toddler from her carseat nap or begin dinner prep, I wonder about the dinnertime wizardry other WAHMs work. What's your favorite fall-back default dinner? Your up-against-a-deadline, no-time-to-shop, if-I-were-single-I'd-eat-a-bowl-of-cereal-and-call-it-a-night-but-I'm-not-single-and-everyone's-hungry specialty?

Mine is beef rolls, which I don't eat, but my husband loves. I chop mushrooms and celery, and mix that with bread crumbs and parmesan cheese. I spread the mixture on very thin pieces of beef, then roll them like a jelly roll. I cook them stove top in just a bit of olive oil, adding water and extra mushrooms to make a nice sauce. They go together in about five minutes and cook in less than that.

I choose dinner prep. Chop, chop, chop... Ah! No bread crumbs. Geez, this happened last time, too, and I had to use some middle aged stuffing to stand in for the bread crumbs. Rummage, rummage... stuffing's all gone. Hubby will be home in 20 minutes and I hear my angel calling from the garage. I'm looking at a choice between low fat Pringles and bran flakes. What would you do?

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

Begin Again - by Cheryl

noreply@blogger.com (Sally Bacchetta) — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 19:02:00 +0000

Today I wonder how many times I can simply 'begin again'. First thing in the morning one child is late for the bus and needed to be driven to school. But no fear! I recovered the lost time and began again. I looked at my calendar, and mentally organized my tasks and conference calls.

Then a call didn't happen as scheduled and I had to begin again. I re-worked my errands around my re-scheduled tasks and meetings. I found myself racing through the grocery store in order to return to my desk for the rescheduled call.

After the call I decided to eat my rescheduled turkey sandwich and realized that the turkey was still sitting on the self-check conveyer belt in the grocery store. So I began again....this time with tuna. Am I back on task? Can I get everything done today? I think so.

But wait--a call from the school. Another child staying after for extra help in math and will need a ride home. Now let's see....if I move this thing to tomorrow and do that thing later tonight, I can probably figure out how to begin again........

Cheryl

WAHM: How Will You Begin Today?

noreply@blogger.com (Sally Bacchetta) — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 11:34:00 +0000

I begin today with thanks for all that lies ahead.

I see that framed declaration every morning while I'm at the kitchen sink, and most mornings I think, "Yeah! Thank you for this day and for every unanticipated moment. Bring it on!"

Other times I think, "I don't feel thankful for what I know lies ahead today, and I'm afraid to think what's out there that I don't know about!"

Some days I spend more time at the kitchen sink than I'd like. "It's just the two of us here during the day. Where do all these dishes come from?", I ask my toddler daughter.

"Mama's so cute", she says, wrapping herself around my legs and pulling me down for a hug.

She hasn't yet learned to read but she's already learned to be thankful for all that lies ahead.

How will you begin today?

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

WAHM Network

noreply@blogger.com (Sally Bacchetta) — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 14:42:00 +0000

Thanks, Donna, for introducing yourself (see Donna's comment on the previous post). How about the rest of you? Wouldn't you like to meet your fellow WAHMs?

Log on and tell us about yourself:
Who you are
Where you are
What your business is
Family stats
Interests and hobbies
What you want today

I'll go -
I'm Sally.
I live and work in western New York.
I'm a freelance writer/pharmaceutical sales trainer.
I'm married to Dennis and we have a 21-month old daughter.
My primary interests besides my faith and family are writing, music, nature, cooking, gardening, and politics.
Today, I want to have an uninterrupted hour of yoga.

Now it's your turn!

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

God is LOL

noreply@blogger.com (Sally Bacchetta) — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 12:28:00 +0000

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.

How's this for irony? My post about How Becoming a Mother Changed My Business Plan is delayed because my toddler daughter somersaulted out of her crib 4 hours before my flight out of town for an overnight business trip.

She's fine and all is well, but it's a perfect illustration of a WAHM's prime directive. BE FLEXIBLE.

I had planned to spend the morning playing tea set and Play Dough, then post a blog article and pack at my leisure while she napped. Instead, I spent the morning running the roads (pick Daddy up from work for the pediatrician visit, go to the pediatrician, take Daddy back to work, go to Target for infant Tylenol, go to the grocery store for a bear-shaped ice pack, go back home, go back to Target for diapers, go back home)and feverishly jammed a suit, a tooth brush, and some saltines in a bag while she "planted" Cheerios throughout my bedroom.

I'm posting this now from a hotel lobby several states from home. I'll be in touch tomorrow from my wonderfully turbulent home office space.

Make a great day!

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

Welcome to Freelancer Mom!

noreply@blogger.com (Sally Bacchetta) — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 19:07:00 +0000

Welcome to Freelancer Mom, the blog for mothers who freelance from home.

All mothers are working mothers, but those of us who run a business from home (or work from home for a business we don't own) find our work/life balance uniquely challenged. Fortunately, most of us have developed unique ways of meeting these challenges, like conducting conference calls in the bathroom with the phone on mute and a toddler in the tub, or re-setting the dryer again and again because we don't have time to fold the clothes.

All are welcome in this global WAHM (work-at-home mom) community. All we ask is that you share yourself. Your comments, your insight, your challenges, your solutions... recipes, funny stories, time management, marketing strategies, potty training advice... each of us has much to offer. Please, join in!

I was asked in an interview recently, "What's the biggest challenge you face as a freelance writer?" This blog was born of the realization that nothing has challenged me or my business plan more than my daughter's birth.

I've been a freelance writer/pharmaceutical sales trainer for several years and a mother for almost two, and I can't imagine a more exciting (or exhausting!) dual-career.

I remember setting up my first home office with a desk, a file cabinet, and a giddy sense of freedom. This is it, Kid. It's all you.

Of course, it wasn't all me - I had clients and prospective clients too - but it was mostly me. I am marketing. I am sales. I am accounting, administration, IT, maintenance, PR, HR... when do I get to write?!

It's all part of the business plan, I reminded myself. And life was good.

Until I realized that it was also my houseplants and my beta fish and my dishes in the sink and my laundry and my car that needs an oil change and my birthday card for my mother and my recycling toter and my leaves that need raking and an unruly mob of other household time-burglars, none of whom were in my business plan.

And so, I learned. I stopped answering the doorbell between 9:00 a.m. and 5:00 p.m. I replaced my neurotic tropical plant with a self-sufficient cactus. I let the answering machine pick up the personal line and my husband pick up dinner on his way home. I mastered the art of work/life balance, and was rewarded with a flourishing business and a peaceful home life.

Until...

Tune in tomorrow for Episode 2 "Enter the Beloved Infant".

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

Coming Soon!

noreply@blogger.com (Sally Bacchetta) — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 23:55:00 +0000

Welcome to Freelancer Mom, the blog for mothers who freelance from home.

We're scheduled to launch April 9th, and it's going to be great.

See you then!

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood