French Onion Soup

Porn Stars

2014-07-31T18:50:00.000+08:00

Interesting... Who's your fav?

Eat Grass Punishment

2014-01-27T16:07:00.000+08:00

The latest furore is a teacher who punished her students by making them wear a cow bell plus eating grass.

Upon reading the news, two key things come to mind:

First, what the heck did the students, or didn't the students do to deserve such punishment. I really wonder.

Next. Why are students such cry-babies. Back in my days, we would never want to tell our parents that the teacher punished us. It would mean a long interrogation, and chances are - you will be punished again. In addition to that, we have our usual creative ways of solving our own problems. It usually includes one or more of the following: fireworks, stone, the teacher's car, the teacher's house.... you get the idea.

Now - my comments for parents. I am not one (not to my best knowledge) but I sure hope to at least pass my own list. Before we condemn the teachers, think it is only the teacher's responsibility - here's a checklist.

Is this true: If your son does well, it is your son. If he fails, you blame the teacher (despite other kids doing well with the same teacher).
Do you remember your child's full name and date of birth? (No kidding. I use to recall parents going from class to class, looking at every student, trying to find their own kids. It's more so when kids have nicknames - Ah Meng at home, when Ah Meng is not part of his name on school records).
What class is he/she in? (name the class too!) Who is the class teacher?
What subjects in school?
Name of his other teachers?
Name of best friend? Bonus mark: Name of 3 best friends.
If he or she spends time at his/her best friend's house, how often have you visited the said house?
Do you meet his parents at least once a year? Do you think that's a big chore, or something important that you would want to do?
How much time do you spend a day to check on her homework? (if you spend one minute a day, one minute out of 1440 minutes in a day. Says a lot about priority right?)
If your kids do not do his/her homework, how do you punish or motivate him?
How do you motivate your kids to study / do a certain activity? Do you reward them with a iPhone (or other money / other gifts)? If yes - do your kids study for knowledge or did they study for the iPhone?
If your child is punished by someone else (teacher, perhaps), do you first question the punishment, or what the heck did your kid do?

Oh sure - I hear you all. It's demanding. It takes a lot of money to raise kids. I do agree. But hey, you don't need to give them to most expensive gift or the best tuition centre. It's more important we show that we care. Sure, I do not have kids - but I've seen how good teachers motivate students. I have mentored interns (minus any scandals). I am not an MNC to give the best facilities to the interns. But at the end of the day, the feedback is, the training has been very useful and they still wish they could learn more.

The best education process it to provide an environment conducive for learning. A TV blaring at full volume will not help. Mothers busy playing mahjong won't assist. Parents fighting, quarreling - no need for me to comment. Encouragement (which is free), a proper study area (a table, lights and fan) will do. Access to books is great. They do not need the fastest computer with 20Mbps of internet and a HDTV. Then, teach them how to work with what they have.That's difficult when parents themselves think they actually work better with the latest iPhone / car / PC, etc.

Nett nett. It's time to stop blaming the teachers only. Sure - the system is rotten. But hey, we have to do our part.

The Ultimate DuckFace

2014-01-27T15:43:00.002+08:00

This has to be the best duckface I've seen.

The Proton Bashing

2014-01-26T23:46:00.001+08:00

I recently read a comment from (allegedly) an engineer with Proton. Basically, what he says is - why do you all bash Proton? If you don't like it, just don't buy it. It hurts the staff. He also states that it is unfair - as no one seems to say anything negative about other cars. Why not go after Toyota or Honda? Or Perodua for that matter?

At a glance, it seems to be true. Seriously, why do we bash Proton? The comments are hardly fair - especially when we choose not to buy one. More so, when we are already driving some other cars. It is not even a customer feedback, nor complaint.

Here-in lies the long forgotten truth. This shows that the truth can be forgotten, but people will still remember to remain angry.

Proton has received lots of land (for RM 1?) to start-up. Does any other car company receive land to start a factory in Malaysia? Mind you, the land belongs to the rakyat.
EPF holds about 7% (last check in 2013) shares in DRB-Hicom. Anyone else have the luxury of having the rakyat's money in their kitty?
Any other car companies given endorsements by PM / ex-PM? Or must be made the official car even if it means changing the logo?
Who else gets huge protection in terms of APs, taxes? Proton only?
Why is Proton pretty much handed over to one person?

And a long time ago, I can say that most of us embraced Protons - to various degrees. I have purchased one. We gave it a try. And found out that it took us for a ride, so to speak. So, can anyone blame us for the anger? Or the 'unfair' comments?

All said and done, respect has to be earned. It cannot be given, or bought. (Even true to the hamsap brothers trying to woo a gal). So yes, that's the peril of staff who works for a company that well - pretty much has no or very little respect from the public. Hint; It's a good time to update your resume and work for another company. (Some would say - but I am patriotic. Go try Perodua).

Insults

2013-12-20T11:52:00.001+08:00

The year 2013 seems to be full of insults. We have seen individuals and couples arrested. Some forced to apologies. But on the subject of insults, here's something we should think about.

You know what I find insulting. Some Malaysian chicks with a foreigner boyfriend / husband. Hey. I mean come on - that's insulting. What's wrong with me? Ok - What's wrong with Malaysian guys. There are plenty of guys in Malaysia. Some guys can even marry four wives. So, there is no need to worry if those guys have one wife. Still three more to go. But no - you prefer some foreigners.

Sure - I am not the most handsome. But there are still plenty of guys. We have our rich Datuks too. Oh yeah - I know. Some girls say - once they go black.... but hey, we have our Malaysian Indians. And not forgetting, the ever increasing presence of Nigerians. Mind you, some Nigerians are good at getting rich fast too.

So please, stop insulting Malaysian guys. We should do something about these insults. Revoke citizenship? That could be a start.

On a unrelated note, I have been dating a really pretty ML. Slim, big boobs, fairly polite. Oh - of course, she is from China. Hahaha.

Back to the topic of insults, I do find the following insulting too:

Maggi goreng mamak - tak mau cili.
Mat Sallehs eating western food in the country, instead of squatting by the road side.
Foreigners bringing in their own food when they visit / stay. Hey, we have enough food to feed the whole country. If it is good enough for us, it's good enough for you.
Malaysians eating imported stuff. I mean - what's wrong with our beef? You ever tried beef from a cow raised in a condo? Give it a try la.

Anything else insulting?

OMFG - big boobs

2013-12-20T11:41:00.002+08:00

So, one reader left this comment:

No 2 is a fat aunty...... Omfg. U guys all old goldfish man?

Hey idiot. Let's get real. We said she has a solid pair of boobs. And fat? What is fat? Some anorexic chick thinks she is fat too. And really, what are we to do? Carry a weighing scale there, and report - 28% body fat? Come on. Why don't you contribute to the gang and provide some meaningful report instead of a one liner?

And what has old man got to do with anyone's favorite flavour? Hey. If you want someone with a solid body, pretty face, good massage, you can do one of the following la:

Pay a really professional escort - those about USD 2000 per day
Sponsor your girlfriend or wife for plastic surgery (budget perhaps USD 100,000). Do note - I am do not support it. After the surgery, she might even find a better guy than you.
Start standing outside a college or a high school - we are not responsible if you end up arrested.
Realize that in this real world, the perfect girl or the perfect man does not exist.

The problem is, people spend too much time in front of the computer and start imagining all sorts of stuff. Hey, if your imagination is incorrect, don't blame others, OK?

Also - the real danger of paying for sex is, one forgets what a real relationship is all about. Same for girls. Some are only after material goods, good looks (guy or too busy looking good themselves) - forget about what a long term relationship is like.

I do feel sorry for such an idiot, unable to differentiate fantasy from reality and appears to be detached from the real world.

Fucktards on Wheels

2013-12-20T11:23:00.002+08:00

There we have it - two fucktards parking in the middle of the road. One is BKK8269, the other is TAN 9199. Seen in Jusco Bukit Tinggi. This goes to show - no la, you don't need to be rich or drive an expensive car to behave like a dick infected with leprosy.

Anyone can be an idiot (Class 1). When this photo was taken, it's only 10am, with plenty of parking available. What more can I say?

Semarak Puchong Massage

2013-12-11T12:41:00.000+08:00

I use to frequent this place a long time ago. About 6 years ago. More or less. It use to be 100% kosher massage. The ML back then, was good. Strong, forceful but not painful / a torture.

However, due to the jams and other more enticing places, I stopped visiting this place. And, I went there again about a month ago. It was a Sunday - bloody quiet. Obviously I had no particular ML in mind. Went it, and one ML gentle grab me by the arm, and asked me if I wanted a body massage (opposed to the foot massage, which they made less). The rates are still the same, RM 120 for two hours. I am OK with that.

In the cubicle, she gave me a good, strong massage and it wasn't a torture. Just the way I like it. She showed signs of naughtiness, and eventually gave me a happy ending. Without giving too much details, she behaved more like a hot girlfriend. But intercourse, only batin. She was truly surprised when I gave her RM 50 at the end of it all - I am guessing batin would be part of the package now. Alas - I forgot to ask her for name or number, so - I am clueless to who she is. I might recognize her if I see her. Let's just say I wasn't too focused on her face. She did indicate that if I could ever hang around till 3am - when she completes work, arrangements could be made....

Hoping to see the previous ML again, she I went back to the place last week. This time, it was a weekday night. Nope - didn't see her around the counter, but another ML 'grabbed' me. Fairly young, very sexy to me, a solid pair of assets and yeah - extremely flirty. She was wearing an ultra short hot pants and yeah - she made sure there were plenty of skin-to-skin contact.

At no time, she was naked, but allowed roaming. She would like flat, on top of me, whisper into my ears, grab and hands and my hands on her assets, biting me here and there. You get the idea. She also asked if I stayed nearby - again, she wanted extras. The down side is, her massage is an absolute torture. She is also more money-minded, asking for tips.

So, depending on my mood - I would make a different selection. Still waiting for the right time to ask them out after work....

Hamsap Massage (Batin) at Kemuning

2013-11-30T13:11:00.002+08:00

So, there is this place facing the main road. It's one of the 'newer' shop lot Kemuning Utama. Being itchy, I decided to check the place out, at about 10pm. It was late. I walked up - and yes, it has CCTV around. It only means one thing - a hamsap massage.

Ting tong - a Malay lady answered. Wow wow. Not her looks but the price. RM 110 per hour including batin. And she had no interest in taking clients no requiring a batin. In all honestly, I just wanted a massage - no need anything hamsap or half hamsap.

Anyway, it was bloody expensive - for a handjob. So, I just left. If anyone has a better location to check out - let me know. Oh yeah - there is a new place at Public Bank Sri Muda. Anyone checked that out?

Joke for the day... no, it's not political jokes.

2013-11-30T12:44:00.002+08:00

One bloody good reason to write properly.

On a more serious note - this is how easy it is to break in.

Go out, get some action. Don't just read my blog.

My idea of endless possibilities.

Guys - we have to learn.

Fit, and with a damn sexy smile.

And the old man rants on, a paradox, as usual

2013-11-30T12:40:00.000+08:00

So, our beloved racist rants on again. This time, he says that tax / AP / excise duties is a must - or else, traffic will be unbearable.

Do you think it is true that, if cars are cheaper traffic jams will be worse? I get it, it is bad enough now. An absolute horror show at times - made worse by rain or a fucktard who decides to drive up the road divider when he is drunk.

So, back to the question again: Will roads be more congested if cars where cheaper? Think about it. Seriously. And now, I present my thoughts.

First of all, taxing cars to solve traffic congestion is like cutting of all dicks when male babies are born to stop rape. Think about it. How many percent of Malaysia is truly suffering from traffic jams? Why tax the kampung folks as well? Or tax the retirees who will never join rush hour? How about areas that doesn't even come with proper roads? Yes - this is how stupid we have led to be for so many years.

And really - how many additional cars will there be on the road if cars where cheaper? Will you buy 20 cars if cars where cheaper? No. You will just get one better car, and sell the older one. You don't see me carrying 20 cheap-RM80 - Nokia phones around, thank you very much.

Of course - the poor will buy one car. Every tom dick and harry will buy a car. Huh? Does anyone have any data to show jams are caused by cheap cars? No. Every tom dick and harry is getting a car because car loans are cheap; and too easily available. If only they have a will to cap the loan - like loan for only 50% of the total value. The next real problem is - please stop subsidizing on petrol.

The next few ways to solve traffic congestion is by public transport and proper tolls. Public transport - we are only getting started. But it's a good move. But will people take public transport by the masses? I suspect, not really. Security has to be improved. No one wants to end up dead by the roadside as a result of snatch theft. That's a true sore point. It must be addressed.

Tolls - needless to say why - we ended up with a truly inferior and obselete near-Infra Red technology. Yup - that's the idiotic Smart - Tag. It causes more jam than ever. One has to slow down just for others to rob us. Funny eh? Now, imagine if we used the faster, cheaper (USD 1) RFID tags. Toll could be collected when cars drive past at 90km per hour. New technology allows time-based toll collection - much like the Singaporean system. At peak hours - charge more toll. At mid night, make sure it is free. That would help solve traffic jams rights? But alas, we prefer to chop up every guy's dick.

We could have special permits for KL jam zone only; or peak hour use pass. The funds from such passes - use it to fund public transport. We could reduce tax for smaller cars (Kancils) and increase tax for those that take up more space. And superbikes - please reduce taxes on those too. Make it zero tax, for superbikes. They don't take up much space, neither do they burn petrol like a 4WD.

I hear you. We should tax luxury cars. Sure - you can tax cars worth more than RM 500,000 (factory price). But guess what? Right now, those rich enough can get away with a simple "you help me, I help you". How on earth did they smuggle luxury cars from an island called Langkawi?

But of course - if you leave it to the grand old man - all the problems can be solved by just keeping cars expensive. This is not even putting brains in parked mode. This is putting the entire nation on reverse gear.

Public Service Announcement

2013-11-24T13:37:00.000+08:00

This is an extremely common sight. OK - this one is allegedly a driver involved in a hit and run. I have no clue what he allegedly hit.

The point is, do we have such 'security stickers' on our cars? Yes - please remove it.

You see, the problem with this kind of dumb-ass security is, we announce to the whole wide world (or more like an announcement to every maniac on the street) - where we live, eat, work and perhaps relax (golf clubs, etc).

What if, it was your pretty wife driving, and someone has a score to settle? Or if you are businessman, and your suppliers aren't happy with the payment terms? Or clients think they are screwed, but not in a good way? Or your teen daughter having a stalker?

For the hamsap guys - you sure you really want your mistress to know where your son studies? Or where you stay? Or when you go for a shady massage - you really want to open yourself to blackmail?

The list goes on. I really cannot understand - what kind of security does this system have. Who started this idea?

So, ladies and gentlemen, please protect ourselves. No point announcing to all maniacs where we stay. Malaysia is more than dangerous enough. If an organization insist that you need it, protest. You know what? Since this is Bolehland, where bribery isn't a concern, the best way to get around this - start being nice to the guards. Get them some curry puff, cold drinks, KFC... In no time, they will recognize you. And in no time, you will be able to move in and out freely without these idiotic stickers on the windscreen.

And some humor to start the week.

2013-11-24T13:21:00.000+08:00

Guys - beware.

For whatever shit reasons, Malaysians must hang around when the authorities work on a suspicious device.
Are we really that dumb or what?

This is why duck face isn't always a good idea. Gals, please take note.

How many girls would do a selfie like this? It's harder than you think - coz if there is silicon, the scar is usually at the bottom.... So, chances are, this one is a natural.

Rape and pigs

2013-09-23T14:57:00.000+08:00

I am a guy and yes, some guys are real pigs. My apologies to pigs if they feel insulted by referencing such guys to them.

Some guys keep commenting that they get raped because the girls dressed provocatively. I completely disagree and here's why - from a very hamsap point of view. Don't judge me first - but please, read on.

Firstly - if provocative clothes is all it takes to turn a guy on, there won't be any of these "Field Reports" on hamsap massages and the extra services. All we need would then be just, well, some short skirts, padded bras and of course, good make-up. Evidently, for the more experienced guys, this is far from sufficient. We wonder about skills (butterfly touch, BBBJ, CIM, riding stamina,...), attitude (CFM look, GFE, rushing or not, ...), looks (not to be confused with how they dress), hygiene, environment (is the place is dirty), and sometimes even more intimate details (tight, wet, fake moan or real moan, wild or not, swallow or not ... you get the idea).

What I am really trying to say is, for most of us guys (be it married, with girlfriend or with extras, or a combination there-of), it takes more then just provocative looks. So, what will provocative looks get? Just that - looks. It will grab a guy's attention (not his cock's attention) and he may take a second look. That's it. No more, no less.

And now, for my second argument as a hamsap guy. I love sex and I have sex often. I have some great sex partners. So, if you have had a damn good session, do you think you can just get hard after that? If I have a good session with H, or her young cousin, chances are, I will be satisfied for 48 to 72 hours. After that, I will be in my hamsap mode again.

After a good session, no amount of provocative clothes can wake up little brother. By good session, I mean her sperm count will be a lot higher than mine at the end of the session. Go figure if you still cannot understand that. If someone gets hard and gets driven to the point of raping a gal - that guy has to be truly deprived. My advice - please get a sex life, or sign-up to UNIFI and access Spankwire (using Google DNS, of course).

Clearly, the problem is - these rapist do not have the means to have a fulfilling sex life; or perhaps just being a tight-fisted wanker. On the same note, I seldom do one-night-stands or have impulsive sex. It's usually with some planning and scheduling. As they say - failing to plan is planning for failure.

And my last point, for this post at least - is this: Please learn what a damn good session is all about. Just raping her is a big turn-off for me (and many other hamsap guys). We want lots of passionate kissing, blowjobs, dining at her Y, making her really wet and yes - we do make her scream but that's screaming with pleasure, take our time, have seconds, and thirds, trying out all sorts of position. We want it to be a point she will look forward for a good session with us too. And yeah - we want her well lubricated, naturally (which is why its a negative point in FRs if she uses KY...). And of course, one of the best feeling is to hug each other, plus some french kissing, at the end of the session. The smile on her face would be, well - priceless. Better still, if she whispers "That was damn nice", and licks your ear.

All in all, for the truly sexually deprive, please grow a pair and learn what a sexual relationship is all about. Don't stay frustrated. To the very least, learn how to take matters into your own hands. By that, I mean - have a good wank.

NOTE: If it was just provocative dressing with nothing else, guys general call it a "dead fish" scenario.

Puchong - Naughty massage

2013-09-23T13:49:00.000+08:00

So, I decided to check out a place in Puchong. Took me long enough to locate it - went to the wrong part of town. The place does not have any signboards. It was a good thing I went there late at night - else, the traffic would have screwed me first. Next would be petrol prices.

Nett nett, it was not a bad place. It has a few young gals - all Vietnamese. The most 'serious' service would be bbbj, nothing more. (Being young gals, they aren't that skillful either). But what is fantastic is the nice, soft touch and their very tender skin. Aaaahhhhh. Oh - the massage would be terrible too - something that we would classify as "piano" massage (not a good thing).

The Effing Show

2013-08-05T15:32:00.002+08:00

This one covers all the current affairs within 10 minutes.

For whatever reason, I cannot insert a proper Youtube link, so we will have to click on this good old style link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShVinjZGOJU

B2B Hartamas - Featured on Giler Selamba Jane!

2013-08-05T15:28:00.005+08:00

Guess what - a massage parlour was featured on youtube. This is, of course the old shop. There is a new shop. I have not been there. But here's an interesting take on what goes on.

Sunway Mentari - B2B not...

2013-08-05T15:01:00.003+08:00

Here's one submitted by a keen reader. You know who you are. Thanks a million for sharing. For the record, I have not personally verified it.

In sunway mentari, the MP named O***** ... mostly the stock are pinoys, and very few PRC. Its nearby KK supermart. Wasn't really hard to locate though with the help of the shop huge signboard.

The stocks seems ok for me in term of looks. Most of it SYT. That time I went I took this girl named CC. Her GFE very good. Seems shes doesn't even want to stop DFK me since the beginning until end of session. Don't bother about the massages there. Totally not worth to rate since is a F*ck Shop. Haha.

I'll give u the link for their website -
http://www.as***.com/category.php?id=17

Here's my simple field report -
Age : 19 (OKT said)
Face : 8/10 (pretty cute act)
Body : 7/10 (nice and firm boobs)
B2B / Massage : 4/10 ( its a FJ place, can't expect much)
GFE & French : 10/10 (this girl will pamper u with hug and kisses until the end)
FJ : 9/10 TIGHT..and very energetic..but seems a bit lack of exp. Did cowgirl, Doggie and Missionary position & will keep calling u Baby while moaning. Hug and kiss for a lot before taking Lil Bro out after finish.

Damage : 160 + 50 tips ( I think its worth seems she treats me good)

Will I return...? Maybe if I wanna be pampered by SYT girls..but actually for me I'm a MILF lover. Hehe. I always hunt for places that provide good MILF service.

Anyway Bro Goldfish u doesnt have to approve this comment (if u want to la) for everyone for view since I clearly exposed the MP name.

Happy cheonging :)

Oh yeah - if you are a MILF lover, you should try the place in Taipan :) Or maybe Y*** at SS15...

Beauty and Economics

2013-08-05T14:43:00.000+08:00

A reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan to a pretty girl seeking a rich husband

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I’m going to be honest of what I’m going to say here.
I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.
You might say that I’m greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.
My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?
I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?
Among those I’ve dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.
If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.
I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I’ve met a few girls who don’t have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty

A philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:

Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.
My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.
Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty" and “money" : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.
However, there’s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can’t be prettier year after year.
Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It’s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a “trading position".
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or “leased".
Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.

Signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO

Just for laughs....

2013-06-09T10:39:00.000+08:00

And on a lighter side

Best gift from a gf :)

Spot on!

It does happen from time to time.

What's your experience? From what I hear, guys and gals (in Malaysia) are doing it before they get their SPM certs.

I am guilty as charged.

To those "cam-whores".... stop taking pictures of yourself la.

Why we have so many idiots.

Conspiracy theory.

Stop being an idiot.

This is what life should be.

If you cannot 'connect' to this picture, you are way to young to read this blog!

Einstein in the making. Nothing is absolute (Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle)

Nice figure to illustrate her argument.

Not my idea of a french kiss.

Which are we?

Not bad :)

Is this true?

Massage in Shah Alam

2013-06-09T10:13:00.000+08:00

It has been a super long week, with only 6 hours of sleep (or less) per day. So, I wanted a massage. Time - 8.30pm. Didn't want to drive all the way to PJ. So, I decided to try Asia Reflexology, at Sri Muda, Shah Alam. Went there, asked for body massage. Since I am new here, I ask for an hour only. A gal was assigned. Slim, not bad looking. No smile. And like I interrupted her. Oh.

And then, I got a very special one hand massage. One hand pressing my leg. One hand, messaging (not to be confused with massage) on her phone. It went on. And on. Forget about it. Put it down to experience and go get some sleep. I needed the sleep by then.

She asked me to turn over, and I did. Then she asked "First time here?" In Malay. I said yes. She said - oh - nak batin massage? I said no. I mean, look - it's just a money-face here. If I wanted a wank, I could have done it myself. And there were plenty of "wankers" (I mean, batin massage providers) around. She kept pestering me. Kept asking, why not? Finger slap my nose. Pinch my nipples. In short, real idiot. But I said, forget about it - just give a bad review online la. I didn't bother to get her name.

Finally, she sat astride me. And started rocking. Oh shit. I mean, her body looks good. The rocking motion - woke up little bro. But I didn't want anything to do with her. So, I paid and left....frustrated. No massage and left with a hard problem. Frustrated. Absolute zero... So, what's next?

PS: Moral of the story - better stick to the known good masseur (without hanky panky). If only Malaysia would clearly label "Fuckshop" or "B2B shop" or "Batin Massage", then, we know exactly what we want. All of it says "Massage", "Reflexology", "Spa" or "Health Club / Health Centre" (more like Hell Centre for some cases), when it is something else all together. And if anyone knows of a decent massage place in Shah Alam area, please let me know.

Hamsap B2B Massage in Sri Kembangan - Zero to hero.

2013-06-09T09:45:00.001+08:00

So, I started the night from zero. Being frustrated, I decided to try out a place in Sri Kembangan. This place is known for B2B massage. Heard about it, read about it, research about it. Now it is time to try it. It was getting late - about 10pm. I was getting really tired too. I couldn't get any fun at home - H was out. H's cousin - away for the school holidays. Or on holidays somewhere.

Called the provided phone number, and said - the place is very free. He did add... but a large group is expected after 11pm. Off I went to Sri Kembangan. A few wrong turns, endless traffic lights and the rain - I finally got there. The place was well, empty. I sat down and the OKT said, he will show me a few girls. And one poor guy, in towel only, had to do the walk of shame from 'his' cubicle to the washroom. Both locations are at opposite ends of the place.

Long story short, I selected a girl in blue. Very tall, fair skin, great assets, all-natural tom yam. She spoke English. It started as a normal massage. But she could not keep her hands of me. She was comparing a certain part of my body being thicker than her wrist. That's hilarious. Oh, she had nice long hair too, which she didn't tie up. I like it.

She was getting goose-bumps. The room was cold. I hugged her. She started to take my hands, and put in on various parts of her curves. I did not protest. She couldn't keep her hands, and mouth off me too. She was whispering all sorts to my ears "I want to do you now". The B2B didn't last too long. "Afterwards, take me slowly, ok?" Oh, the nice smooth body. Lots of licking, teasing and well, french kissing. BBBJ. 69. "So nice - I have feel". She was really really wet. Fingered. Kissed. And well, after that, she almost raped me. Almost - because I was a willing party.

I really enjoyed it - she rode me. I was sitting up. She rode hard. Hug very tightly. And french kiss. And I could still hear her "ug ug ug ug". She didn't seem to mind when I fingered her back-hole. Hmmm. New idea for the next visit. BJ. Licked ping pong balls. Then, we did a variation of doggy style. Entered her from behind. We were on our knees. One arm hugging her assets. Another fingered her clit. She had one arm on my buttocks... pulling me hard. Another, massaging my ping pong balls. Oh. And somehow, she manage to twist her sexy body to french kiss me. Fantastic. And she had this "planking style". She was on top, legs straight and together. That made it super tight. And she will still french kiss.

All it all, it was really really good. :) By the time we finished, both of us were full of sweat. And she would still hug and kiss. Nice, no rush. The scene outside was a ASEAN meeting by now. Indians (Malaysians or Indians, I am unsure), Chinese, Viet gals, China dolls, and of course - thai girls. Oh yeah - there were two Pinoys too. No shortage of Indons or Malays (unsure - but sounds like it). Some sat and talked about work while waiting for girls / waiting to decide. By the sounds of it, it looks like a whole "rombongan" from the office. Wonder if they got corporate rates. Or was it one of those "lawatan sambil belajar". Not a bad idea for "office trip".

And some buggers started smoking. Urgh. Trust me. The girls hate it. She told me..."Oh no. Someone is smoking. I don't like." I gave a warm and friendly hug. Ahemmmm..... No one wants to lick, kiss and hug an ashtray, OK? I know.... some will retort. "What if she is also a smoker?" Well, try putting a bunch of smokers in a car. Turn on the air-cond to full. Start smoking but with the windows all up. Bad idea? You get my point. And if she really liked smoking, she should try my....never mind.

By the time I got home, it was close to 1am. Or was it after 1am. And I had to get out of bed by 6am the same day. It wasn't the next day by then. But it was really worth it. An outing that ended up completely unexpectedly. All I wanted was a damn massage. Why is that so hard to get?

Honestly, sometimes that's not the best policy

2013-06-09T08:44:00.003+08:00

I nearly choked on my fish ball when I was reading the Metro section of The Star. The article was titled "Being honest with your friends". By.....DAPHNE IKING.

I mean, if one cannot even be honest with the then-husband, what sort of honesty are we talking about here? OK la. To be fair, maybe she has always been honest with her friends. This is sure one lady I like to be in "friend-zone" only.

And the name of the column? "Different Spin". No shit. It could be the ultimate spin. The only good thing is, I picked up the print edition from a table and didn't pay a cent for it. Imaging paying for this kind of articles.

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2013/6/7/central/13207271&sec=

Job hunting

2013-06-02T19:24:00.001+08:00

It's never easy to find a "good job". Made worse, when friends give us a lopsided view of their job. They will tell you terrible bosses, clients and co-workers. Or some will tell you good bonus, great pay, and forget about the 'bad' parts. Everything has its pros and cons. This is exactly what I mean.

Moral of the story: The grass always look greener on the other side.
Operative work: Look