Fresh Faith--Transformed by GRACE

Wednesdays Word- The Beginning

2012-01-25T12:12:00.000-08:00

Do you plan your posts? Last night after fever, chills, aches and a night of misery, I do not have any photos or wit to share. This morning after reading your blogs a theme emerged. People are struggling. They are struggling with emotions like depression, temper, doubt, and confusion. People are asking themselves if what they do is valuable to others, are they in the right place? How do we know?

I can only concur and say ditto, me too. My comfort is that I don't stay there. I don't live in that mire.
I was rescued by a man. A man who exchanged my life for his life. He took away my heart of stone and gave me a heart of flesh. He provided me with a sound mind and sent confusion and fear packing.
He washed me clean. He healed my heart, restored my soul, and gave me eyes to see. I was once living in the dark. I am now walking in the light.

Without him nothing works. We are tossed about, unstable, unsure, doubting, feeling fear. Not knowing the truth but seeking for it. Having a semblance of spirituality that is elusive and changing, unsteady like shifting shadows.

God calls us to the deep. Deep what? What does deep mean? Does it mean some kind of Harri Krishna meditations chanting ommmmmmmmmm? What is deep?

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was GOD.
HE was in the beginning with God.
ALL things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being.
In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men.
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.
John 1: 1-5 NASB

Who is the Word? Jesus the Christ. Jesus has always been just as the Father and the Holy Spirit have always been. They are outside of time. Time was created for man back in the beginning.

I started teaching from Genesis in my women's group. I thought I knew this story until I began to study it. Just the first two verses became two lessons. Learning what words mean in Hebrew unpacks a whole nutha level of understanding.....deep calls to deep.

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. God here is Elohim a plural noun. Elohim is the name of strong power, and created is bara meaning to call forth from nothing.

Open thou mine eyes that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law. Ps 119:18

Verse 2 of Genesis.
And the earth was without form, and void; darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters...
read John one again,

Now here is where the story gets very interesting. In 1814 a man named Thomas Chalmers noticed the phrase, "without form and void." without form is the Hebrew word tohu, meaning a ruin or vacancy; void is the Hebrew word bohu, meaning emptiness.

He contemplated a verse from Isaiah: For thus saith the Lord that created the heavens; God himself that formed the earth and made it; he has established it, he created it not in vain, he formed it to be inhabited: I am the Lord; and there is none else. Isaiah 45:18.

Big deal what does this mean? What if you think the theory of evolution is science and don't believe in creation? Every one knows the earth is millions of years old right?

In this verse where God says he did not create the world in vain it is the same word, tohu
God did not create chaos but a cosmos. Everything we study in science is orderly. The earth is exactly so far from the sun, it's rotation an exact speed. Just a small deviation from these specific requirements for life would bring total destruction.

What this verse in Isaiah tells us is that the earth BECAME tohu va bohu something catastrophic happened between verse 1 and verse 2 of Genesis. This is called the gap theory. Some great catastrophe occurred leaving the earth in this state of darkness. The word darkness here chosek suggests black holes masses so large light cannot escape.
"I saw Satan falling like lightening from heaven." Luke 10:18 Lucifer the chief angel whose very being was music rebelled and took one third of the angels with him.

What the Hebrew words suggest is that an epic battle, a great war of spiritual beings happened. How much time passed between the verses? Maybe millions of years? Maybe enough to say to those who study the earth that we agree that the earth is very old. That yes some epic disaster occurred and it fits right in with the word of God.

So what? Why does this matter? It matters because from the very beginning God is providing revelation. We can skim the surface or dig deeper. The deeper we dig the more we marvel at the mind of God knowing we barely understand. We also can realize something here from what is not said. God could have revealed to us exactly how the world was made. He could have provided every detail but he did not. What is important to God he repeats. In the first chapter of Genesis we see the unity, the personality and power of God from the very first verse.

What God does reveal to us is our origin, created in his image. This is what he elaborates on and the story of us is amazing.

Would you like to hear more? My close friend thought I should have two blogs. She advised me that I would lose my friends if I write these things. Will you leave or will you consider? Have you ever heard this before? Does it interest you? What if I write about my studies once a week?

I am finding that as I study this it calls to me. I want to know more. I think about these things meditate on things. As I do this something in me is changing. The cup looks half full instead of half empty. My home fills me with gratitude instead of wanting. My spirit is resting in a calm place. Instead of looking at others to find fault my heart warms to them. I see them as one to love.
The word of God does not return void. In the place of my darkness and chaos God can speak peace washing me with the water of his word. Any words of His have the power to transform. They all create peace. We were not created for chaos. We were created to experience relationship.
What a mystery. I remember to this day when this miracle unfolded in my understanding.
I wept and listened to Judy Collins singing Amazing Grace over and over for a long time.
I basked in the flood of clean peace and I marveled at the why of it all. Why would God do this? Why would he care? Why would he make any of this in the first place?
I felt it in my beginning. The love of God and his peace. What about you where do you stand?

The Best of Intentions

2012-01-24T13:31:00.000-08:00

I was going to begin a sewing project today, post something profoundly witty and fun, and maybe pull a few weeds.
It's not happening. NADA.
We are having a very spring like winter. My daffodils and narcissus are BLOOMING. It is still January and they are quite early.

All my plans are set aside because I think I may have acquired a bug. Not a visible bug that I could squish, ~~don't I wish.~~ One of those nasties that make you feel not quite right in one minute and just plain awful the next. I have a stomach ache, a bit of nausea and a whole lot of hurting. My husband had something that included belching from his toenails.

Sometimes I feel sweaty and then chilled. I hope it's not the flu. I also hope it's 24 hours and done because my stomach hurting causes me to regress. Even at my age I can want my mama. Mama knew how to comfort so well that just her hug would make it all better.

My friend sent me to a blog today. It's the blog of a young woman with her new baby exploring the joys of her first newborn. She is blessed not to have to drop him off at a day care, she gets to be his mother. Go visit her she is special and lovely. She has always been brilliant. Her artwork from her youth is on my wall. http://whatcolorislove.wordpress.com/

Simply stated and perhaps a beginning for discussion, I believe the women's movement of the 70's ripped women off. The workplace is not all the glamor it was touted up to be. Leaving babies and children in others care is nerve wracking. I know some women love to work, but there are women who would love to be home. They don't really now how. The children they gave birth too and sent to day care may or may not have manners, may or may not be obedient, and the question is; do you like them? Once you are working and have bills how do you go home? Is it cost effective to live on one income? A working executive who crunched numbers all day began to suspect that it could be and she wrote a book about her journey back to the keeper of her hearth. She was so successful she began helping others and she has a website. http://www.miserlymoms.com/default.htm

We all love our children. I remember reading a book as a very young and very scared new mother. One of the tips was to change the newborn before feeding for a couple of reasons, to really get them awake so they would feed well; and to begin the process of teaching a moment of delayed gratification. The point was? To set a goal to raise children you like to be around. I remembered that.

Women don't have to feel like keeping a home is not a good use of their time. It takes a lot of work.
Keeping a home includes being the artist of that home setting the mood, creating a sanctuary for the people who live there. The weaving of a family, the rearing of young people shaping them training them to become the leaders of tomorrow. Being there when they have a stomach ache so that way down the road in life, even when they themselves are grandmothers; a stomach ache is a deep reminder of the soul of what a mothers comfort felt like. It affirms everything I believe and all that I have done.

ALL IS CALM

2012-01-17T20:22:00.000-08:00

For the first time since my accident my home is in order. Every room is clean, and all the purging finished. If I wanted to get really OCD I could start straightening out cupboards and organizing drawers but let's just hold that thought. The laundry room has become a useful place. It's no longer heaps of junk. I took the last load to Goodwill today.

Even my desk. I took this because it is pile and junk free for a brief moment of time. It catches everything that people don't know where to put so this is a rare minute. The photo will commemorate that this is a possibility, my desk can be organized.

I know you've seen this a lot but I am still so excited about my gorgeous couch. As if that wasn't enough I picked up those pillows also from Goodwill for $2 each. The end table on the right is my new find from the curb. It's amazing what people set out for the garbage man. I confess to being a curb cruiser. I'm not quite a dumpster diver but I suppose if it came to it.....

It's pretty cute little table don't you think? Nothing wrong with it at all.

We took the houseplants outside and let the rain wash them and really soak them. I've had houseplants since high school. I don't know if they are in style or out; I just always have a small jungle somewhere in the house. I like it. My daughter says my inner hippie will not die.

On one of Janie's posts she was writing about 25 things she knows for sure. I am not sure if I know 25 things but a few things I am sure of.

#1. I am THE most gullible smart stupid woman in the world.
proof is: yesterday my hubbins told me it was a holiday because of Robert E. Lee's birthday. I nodded uh OK, works for me. I didn't look at the calendar or watch TV. I didn't have any reason to doubt him.
HE said it perfectly matter of fact, no grin nothing.

#2. I might have started a racial war inadvertently because I asked if "Yankee's" had the same holiday. My BFF called me in hysterics and called me an idiot and told me to delete it in a hurry that it was Martin Luther Kings official national holiday. I jumped up like I had red ants on me.

#3. Whoops. I had commented on someones blog. GAH a very smart writer. I read that blog but don't comment much because that person is smarter and wittier than I am. SO I FINALLY have got something to say; YEP whaddaya think about Robert E Lee day? Where is hole to hide my head?

#4. I am positive that I have hoof in mouth disease and I have a raging case of of oral athletes foot.
Does Tinactin make toothpaste?

#5. There is a silver lining in every cloud however; because my dog's infestation is only dandruff, not walking dandruff.

#6. Walking dandruff is a nice way to say that your critter has an infestation of lice and you have just lost all your friends and relatives.

#7. Next year there will be absolutely no comments regarding any events or person who lived during the Civil War. The only Civil War that may be occurring may be between me and my man that can pull such fast ones on me. He has not pulled a fast one on me in a long time. I'll hear about this for the next 25 years because he will weave it into a nice long story that everyone I have ever known simply must hear. ROTFLMAO--maybe he will choke.

#8. I am sure that in the 25 years I have been married to him that if nothing else I have provided our family with a whole deluge of dumb blond jokes. They now have new material.

That's it. the eight things I know. Both of my dogs had bathes today. I washed all my linen and Roman's dog bed cover. I spent all my money at the vet. I am grateful that he couldn't find the dog lice. I am still looking at those flakes though. Worst case of dandruff I have ever seen.

Roman is on Prozac until Sammy gets neutered because I cannot abide his perverted behavior. I cannot convince Sammy to put his tail down and quit wiggling his cute little butt; so Roman gets to be on drugs. He is very relaxed tonight. That poor dog has been so miserable itching he is entitled to a few drugs. I'll take some myself. All is calm tonight. I haven't shot the dog. I didn't start WWIII and there was no race riot. My husband is still breathing and his daughter hasn't laughed that good for a long time.

It was a very very good day.

Beauty and the Beasts

2012-01-16T12:23:00.000-08:00

An Undiscovered ARTIST

Are you amazed by the incredible abilities of some people to express beauty?

Linda Lime in the Coconut has an eye for beauty. Linda couldn't you be Bobbi's PR person? If your impressed a blog post by you just might take her into a whole new horizon. Just sayin--no pressure. She has to get discovered her work just blows me away!

When I took Kayla to interview for the art department at Bellhaven we must have talked with the chairman for almost 3 hours! Kayla wasn't connecting with him, I did. He was trying to convince me to enroll at the college and learn to draw and paint. I wish I had the money. I do not have $17,000 a year to go back to school. ~~I need to go back to school to work on my writing I have become sloppy.~~

I was flattered though. He saw in me the mind and heart of an artist. He said that he could teach anyone to draw and paint but he cannot teach an artist how to see or think. It was a very interesting day.

My friend Bobbi went through midlife trauma when her marriage fell apart. Instead of becoming a drunk or getting bitter she went to art college. She has not been doing this her whole life but she is brilliant already. Her daughter is the subject of the painting of the lovely young blond asleep on the couch. Mothers never lose that pleasure of watching their children sleep. I laugh when I watch my daughter sleep because she snores, it runs in the family. I do too.

Bobbi has always made everything beautiful, her home, her food, her garden. She has such a flair for living and I have always enjoyed my visits with her. She raised her children well an awesome mom. I have two watercolors that her daughter painted when she was 14 years old that I just love. They are so whimsical and fun. Funny what things survive time and stay in my hands, those pictures are just priceless to me. I should get copies made and send them to Bobbi. You know should-bees are like wanta-bees and oughta-bees; they don't give any honey. Maybe someday I'll get that done.

Since I'm talking about interesting artistic people....check out this lady.
Janie Fox Talks Sometimes when I read a bog I like that person immediately. I get that "ooooh you are so my cup of tea," feeling. I'm actually not a very good blogger in terms of acquiring a huge following or reading a ton of blogs and new blogs. I just can't do it! I'd be reading 24 hours a day.
I like to actually read and savor posts, I don't skim them. I also like to make a "real" comment not just a little generic statement. UNLESS you knock my socks off and I'm speechless. IT CAN HAPPEN! Sometimes the only response is a one word response you know? Hum I mean in a good way. I t could be a bad way but not blogging, save that for driving around idiots.

Lets see who else? This isn't what I planned to do but the post can have a life of it's own right? I think my animals have bugs as in "walking dandruff "as in big mess. We are going to the vet tomorrow KA CHING and it will be huge because two cats and two dogs with the same thing has got to be expensive. Then we will do the house work the laundry work and probably set off flea bombs or call and exterminator to spray inside and out. KA CHING. The really bad news is that it will all go on my VISA because there is no income for this. That's what I was going to blog about. About how changing your financial status can really upset the apple cart of your life. Marriage is strained actually really really strained. I could be a big girl and re home the animals but I don't WANT to. ~~SPOILED BRAT.~~ I love them. i could give away the cats. I keep hoping that Kayla will come back. Puffins is her baby. I am already crazy about Sammy. I'm thinking he is a labradoodle. His face has a lot of lab in it. Every day he looks better and feels better. He is so happy. He wakes up and does a little happy dance that looks like a lamb leaping, ADORABLE! Roman is serious natured. Poor Roman has been having issues with his skin for months and months. Shoot fire the dang abandoned cat has always had this prolific case of dandruff. The initiator of the problem. Could it be that is why his owner left him behind when he moved away? I have never heard of this "walking dandruff" a yukky mite.
Tomorrow after I go to the vet I'll fill you in with all the gory details.

Today I'm staying in bed. Today I am having a pain day off. My body is exhausted and it hurts. It hurts enough to feel in my sleep so that I can't really get to sleep. I have the dogs in the yard.
We are all home resting because it's a holiday. Our state celebrates this day as a shared holiday of Martin Luther King and Robert E Lee. I'm not a racist and Robert E Lee wasn't either. Actually the Civil War was initially more about the North wanting to tax the South's cotton industry than slavery.
Robert E Lee was a fine man and Martin Luther King was a fine man, they are both in heaven together where there is neither slave nor free but Christ in all.

I have rambled on long enough. Check out Bobbi and leave her a comment. Maybe you all can help her be discovered. She needs to be in some classy galleries in San Francisco and New York. Her work is incredible.
Enjoy Janie she is fun.
Pray for Heather There and Back Again as her family and her dogs return to the US from the middle east and a huge amount of tension there. Pray they all leave safely.

Pray for Lauren Mental Pause Mama as she faces breast cancer, with an amazing attitude. She just ran a half marathon to raise money for the Lymphoma Leukemia Society. She raised over $7000, and she new about her diagnosis when she ran. That news was one of those speechless moments.

Pray for me because I need it. I just do.
I'm going to read blogs now.

Random Thoughts and Pics

2012-01-10T13:45:00.000-08:00

I just want to write this morning. My head is full of thoughts and not to many are cohesive. Imagine that? To write or not to write that is the question. Whether it is nobler to write some colossal missive or a bunch of random ideas is yet to be determined!

What is it about the new year that makes us set goals and re examine ourselves? Hopefully in this techie super fast age some of that is still occurring. Can you multitask and introspect? I think not but then I'm not to hot on multi tasking anymore. Don't get me wrong I can do it! I have been the queen of multitask especially in nursing. When I stopped working full time I began to realize just how stressful multi tasking is. How quickly that lesson was forgotten in the multi tasking of two dawgs!

Sammy ( he really isn't all nose it's kind of a strange angle)

Roman (he really is a patchwork of colors and not a black dog. Who take da dawg wid da skinny legs ?)

Sporting the new hip clip.

this is fun?

dog bonding?

Good night nurse. I don't know about you but I can really get lost in some idiotic fantasies. In my mind I saw Roman and Sammy posed together on the big dog bed. Cuddling up or running laps AROUND the garden beds. Guess what? I don't have to say a word do I? Yes, it's arghhhhhhah argggggghh wrastle nip squeal hump holler, and um the race for the bed is my bed and my room smells like DAAAWWWG.
Someone is having to do a lot more laundry and have the Fabreeze can handy.
However I can't say I'm sorry I got Sammy. The lesson in this dog scenario is that if I would have waited on God's perfect timing He would have given me my hearts desire. Waiting is not my forte so I pushed and purchased the beast. He is a good dog just a very large and very strong dog. My sister in law told me to get a spiked choke chain and that would stop him from yanking me across the street on his whims. My stomach churned at the thought. I do have a real fear of having Roman injuring me. Maybe I do need to try one. I think they are gross. If you are not Ceaser the dog whisperer with the calm and assertive attitude; just how do you control a powerful dog?

Attitudes. Truth be told my attitude sucks. I hate getting out of bed in the morning. I am cranky when I wake up. If the kitchen is a mess it puts me in a foul mood. If the dawgs start their arghhhh arghh arghhh mouthing and wrastling before I get that first cup of coffee that makes me want to shoot them.
What a nasty person. No one has ever accused me of being nice in the morning hence my goal to talk to my family like they are friends. My house being in perfect order can't be more important than the people who live in it. That is true but why is it I am so much nicer when it looks like this?

ah love it clean. Notice the absence of that big painting?

I love Christmas but I also love to put it all away!!

I have a new window thanks to a boys dart game.

Than this?

my laundry room mess

Yesterday Jennifer choked on a big horse capsule. It scared her to death. She came at me nakkid as a jay bird in a panic. I tried a few back blows but it didn't help so I just had her bend over and talked calmly to her reassuring her that she was breathing and encouraging her to cough. I sugested she see if she dislodge it with her finger and she did move it some and then she was able to cough it up. In my mind I was thinking about how far away the phone was to call 911. I was also wondering if she did pass out if I would be able to get a huge soft jell that was wedged in her throat out of her throat. That was all on the inside on the outside I was the manifestation of calm reassurance. I am a good nurse. When she did cough/barf it out we realized she was also having an allergic reaction to it! That poor ~~49 year old~~ child's face was swollen, her capillaries broken and her throat was swelling internally. Benadryl to the rescue and cold compresses. I wanted her to stay home and recover but she went to work. I did have to take her more benadryl at work later that evening. That was a lot of excitement to begin the day. You just never know. I was so grateful for all those years of CPR training.

On Sunday we started in Genesis with my ladies Sunday school class. The modern term is life group.
I always think that the term life group needs the definition of Sunday school. Do people really know what life group is?

I am really excited about the study. I am learning so much that I just might write about some of it here, on my blog for you. There is nothing like starting at the beginning, especially if you haven't ever studied the story before or have just had a bit of religion crammed down your throat.
It's still the greatest story ever told.

I'm going to take Sammy to the vet tomorrow to check him out for all this panting that he does, and as I am typing this he is lying here next to me a damp dog from playing in the rain, breathing completely normally. This is a first. Maybe I just need to relax and give this dog time to recover.
He is really doing well from his little nose to his wiggly butt. He does wiggle his butt and he is so cute. Jennifer even has a hard time making him mind because he is so cute. He has got to be a puppy. They keep telling me they think he's about 1 1/2 or 2 but he acts like a puppy. Now that he doesn't stink he even has a bit of a puppy smell. I do hope he is FULL GROWN!!! Roman's jealous.

Sammy can walk right through our cast iron fencing. He was outside this morning playing in the rain. He loves water. It has been raining for days and we haven't been able to walk so I guess he had a ball. King Roman is sprawled across the bed sideways looking elegant. There is barely any room for me. I'll take that as a cue to quit rambling and start the day.
Your still here? Why bless you! Have any kind of day you want to have.

PICTURES

2012-01-05T12:18:00.000-08:00

My friend took these out in the yard. I didn't realize my spare tire showed that bad. I also didn't know I was having a bad hair day.

BUT these are so you can see the dogs.

How big they are

and somebodys cute tail that wasn't docked.

ah ain't he a wittle cutie?

look whose jealous. Pick me up too!

In your dreams big guy.

I'm on a diet a lifestyle change. It about goals and reaching them right?

Sammy's Saga

2012-01-04T20:49:00.000-08:00

What a difference a day makes. A couple of things have happened that are very encouraging. Sammy's poop firmed up for one. I think he really did have some kind of oral infection because the smell is greatly reduced AND I bought some of that enzyme spray that is advertised on TV for dogs.
Guess what?
It works. Really the dogs teeth are quickly cleaning up. Romans are looking good too. What a great product! It's so nice not to turn my head and gag when this little fella puffs in my face.
I decided that after a total free for all of round the clock eating and some pretty rapid weight gain we could try meals. Today we served 3 bowls of Wilderness Duck to skinny Sammy. Roman eats better being offered meals. He tends to graze or eat late at night. He's so much like me that it's weird.

Now if we can just complete the house training.....

And if he'll slow down this rapid respiratory rate. I did get him tested and he is heart worm NEGATIVE! yeah!!!! Maybe his metabolism is going fast with all this eating.

His ribs are filling in. He and Roman are walking nicely together. Romanwill still try the assault and hump routine but less. I wish Sammy would just lay down and roll over! They are nuzzling a little bit. THAT is encouraging. I'm hoping that they will bond better once Sammy is neutered. I think he must be a goldendoodle or labradoodle. His coat is so soft and I love his tail.

My friend said that in the previous post I implied that Sammy won't look at me. He does and he is very sweet. He won't hold still long enough to get a good picture!

Roman is the majestic one, he poses for the camera. It's so funny Roman sees where Sammy has peed or pooped on the laundry room floor and he just looks at me. I can practically read his mind and he is saying, "Really? You brought home this little pig that is eating us out of house and home AND he does this mess IN the house? He sure is getting away with bloody murder".
Then I explain to Roman that Sammy has had a tough time and he will figure it out. I ask Roman to teach him how to open the door and encourage him to go outside. I explain to Roman that if he will quit tackling Sammy like a professional linebacker that he will have a lot more fun outside and that will help too.

This is the state of my mind after the first week of my first dog rescue. I have big conversations with poodles. I have bent over so many times to clean up poop and pee that my back is just wrecked.
The poop factory is on overtime. If I didn't go clean up everyday my entire neighborhood would reek. There would be a small mountain of dog crap in the yard. I would have nightmares of poop poltergists. Instead of the muddy cemetary it would be dog poop and we would be having to run for our lives. Of course in the nightmare the little stinky dog would be panting happily after us pooping all the way.

I know you don't believe me so I may take pictures.
You know I might be losing it if you come here and see pictures of piles.
It's possible.
I might end up in the Guiness book of world records.

It figures that my claim to fame would involve poop. It just figures.

Starting Something Sammy

2012-01-03T19:29:00.001-08:00

Can you believe this dog? Isn't he gorgeous? He has no hair because of skin itching. No fleas, eating Wellness so I'm puzzled....ragweed? We changed his diet anyway to Wilderness Blue which has no grain and I bought the duck since he hasn't eaten that before. He was eating the salmon which I thought would fix his skin. As gorgeous as he is he has dry flaky itchy skin. He is really beginning to come into his won now. SMART!!!! He is a lot of dog enough dog for anyone don't you think? I mean if you had this much dog would you get ANOTHER one?

Now this? I'm not sure yet if this is smart. Actually I am sure it wasn't smart it was soft. Soft in the head and well yeah soft in the heart. Meet Sammy. You know Roman looks us in the eye doing this so you can sort of gauge his size.

Sammy and Roman still getting used to each other. Sammy is a rescue. I have never rescued an animal before unless the squirrel counts. Do rodents count?

The cute fur is hiding a rack of bones although this fella has done nothing but eat drink pee and poop. He has filled out a lot in the last 3 days. I have to clean up poop at least 10 times a day because he goes so MUCH and so OFTEN. I am letting him eat all he wants. The first time he ate here he gorged himself until I thought he was going to choke and puke. PITIFUL!
I wish I knew more about dogs. I got him from my vet. He was abandoned there in terrible shape. Almost starved to death. My groomer told me about him and I went over there took one look and put him in the truck,

of course we were in love by the time we got home.

It only takes a few minutes to love a dog. That is if your a person and not 70 pounds of possessive male poodle= Roman. Sammy isn't neutered yet. The vet thinks he is about a year and a half old. He looks like a puppy until you look at his teeth and smell his GAH awful breath. I actually have an appointment next week at the vet to make sure he isn't sick. He looks good, his fur is pretty but his breath reeks so bad and all this pee and poop have got me ~~WORRYING~~wondering. LIKE I said I have never rescued a dog before much less a starved one so I don't know about this. His breath smells like ammonia at times. We already went back for a gooey eye, it was an ulcer so he is getting drops 3 times a day, wormed for good measure and a round of antibiotics just because it makes me feel better. I guess. Kathy Dee where are you? I just want to rule out diabetes. However I suppose if you had lost so much weight that you got into your muscle mass that also could make ketosis type of oder. He acts alright. He acts happy. Each day he has more energy. It was 2 days before he barked. All he did was eat and sleep and want attention. He has been at the vet for over a month, he was too nervous there to gain weight but he did gain a little. His hips were about 4 inches across and nothing but bones and skin. His teeth are gross. I got some of that enzyme spray but when he gets neutered hopefully he can have a dental too. KA CHING KA CHING KA CHING. Look at me spending like I've got it.
Don't you wish sometimes that animals could tell us their stories?

Maybe tomorrow I can get him to look at me for more than a few seconds.

We are walking all together because Ceaser says that makes you a pack.

Roman is humping and I am really trying to get him to quit. Today was our best day. I got a retractable leash and that makes Roman calm and he listens better.

Sammy is leash trained. Seeing the shape this little guy was in I'm going to get them both micro chipped as soon as I can afford it!

First things first.

Oh I almost forgot the best part. He isn't potty trained to go outside ALL the time.

I have never seen so much pee in one place on the floor. I wish I could measure this. It's a LOT.The good news is he is smart. I take him out every 2 hours to pee and poop. That's a lot of poop like I told you!

I am not exaggerating either. So we are working on learning to potty outside all the time.

Dumb me I sold my crate. I'm trying to find a used one. Cheap.

That would help I'm sure.

I'm busy and TIRED.

So busy I forgot to say Happy New Year!

Did you make any resolutions?

My new years resolutions this year are as follows.

Be nice pretend my family are friends and talk nicely to them.

Walk the dogs every day.

Pick up the poop every day.

Avoid any more cute dogs that need homes like the plague.

Eat less, drink more ----yeah right but I mean water.

Remember I have a blog and write on it.

Remember to publish comments.

Remember to remember.

I also have some goals and one is to reduce:

medications

weight

complaining

worry

consuming

and

waste.

I'll let you know in February if I am getting anywhere.

OK if you are knowledgeable about dogs in this condition I hereby forthwith invite you to wax eloquent in the comment section. Enlighten me puhleeze!

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T04:17:00.000-08:00

Christmas is here. All of the decorating,

the cooking and crafting,

business that even the dog notices,

the tree and it's packages

all ready to celebrate. My computer sits ready for me to think of you. To remember friends seen and not seen, to reminisce on the changes that one year has made.

We have both come a LONG way. The puppy is maturing and perhaps still growing a little. He will be two in April he is definitely a royal poodle.

Ahhh to sit and just enjoy--it feels good to me too buddy so sweet.

Such a face, I'm smitten with my pooda pony. He has so many colors in his coat. A blond muzzle, black and white ears, chocolate and black on the rest, his DNA just couldn't decide on one color so it splurged. What he does have is size and stature. He is one well built dog.

I always digress when it comes to the bear. Back to Christmas.

I think that one of the projects after Christmas will be to put that painting back in the attic. Heather Lynn wants it.

My soft wonderful couch, Merry Christmas to me from God above. I say that because finding this at the Goodwill was a miracle. Both end recline and the leather is very high quality with that soft touch.
It is enjoyed by all of us. Look at this cuteness. Seriously cute cheeks on each one.

Really it is all about this isn't it? Family

and friends? We had a birthday party for the baby Jesus. The children loved it.

My baby loved her bunny pajamas when she was a girl. I think her last one was when she was 12. She got a cheetah suit with soft feet in the bottom. She is short so it needs some altering but she loved it. We opened a few things on Christmas eve because mom knew that the present was new pajamas. It's 45 degrees and raining so the cozy sleeper is welcome.

Boo boo got Eeyore pj's and her mom bought her this furry hat. We had fun.

The grandson got some new bey blades his favorite toy. I bought him a camo bunny suit thinking it would be alright but it wasn't. He came out of his room in it and his sister said, "oh Ralphie". It was too small and he looked so silly. We said go ahead and take it off and the boy said, "Do I have to put it back on"?
At least it wasn't pink. I imagined a leg lamp with a fishnet stocking in my living room window. It would go well with the painting.

Oblivious. What leg lamp?

Adorable. All the cooking was done today so tomorrow for Christmas day all we have to do is relax and enjoy. We are going to church and then I might just get back into my pajamas and cuddle up on the couch. I am so grateful for all these blessings and the health and strength to enjoy them all.

I wish YOU and your families a blessed Christmas and a toast with your favorite beverage to the New Year!

Buyers Remorse

2011-12-14T22:50:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I have a day off and I plan to take a few pictures of all the Christmas decorations that my daughter has done. You know how plans go though, mostly awry. I am sooooo spoiled to have a daughter who did all this work and made everything gorgeous. You haven't seenmy couch either. What a score that is!

I have a new computer and I am having so much trouble with blogger,is it them or the computer? Hard to know. I say this after trying to add a few colors to my template so that my blog is not black on black at Christmas. I don't know how it all went black anyway when I picked out that pretty star. I thought I was going to have a total crash adding colors. Good grief Charlie Brown, you never got to enjoy technology. Those would have been some great cartoons. Charlie Brown and a Smart phone. Snoopy and a Smart phone. Beethoven and a lap top. Lucy selling advice for 50 bucks?

Did you see the news tonight about how many people have been returning things even before Christmas?
I have to put my hand up. I ordered a Dyson vacuum from HSN on easy pay. I started thinking about how hard easy pay is and how long 5 months is. I sent it back and went to Walmart. In front of the vacuums was a family buying a filter for a vacuum they like. I asked them if they had pets, yes they did. They had 2 big dogs that shed tons of hair and cats. I asked about their carpet, it is a thick shag=frieze. OK this is going well ~~it may even be a divine appointment a sign~~ and how does the vacuum work? Great. How long? A year. Sold. One vacuum for $79.95 less than even one easy pay. For that much if it only lasts one year I won't care. Came home and it did a great job and I have been relieved of the anxiety of easy pay.

In fact just about everything I bought on credit I returned. It's too much stress and really in this economy it's crazy. I'm still thinking how much better it would be for me to give to the really poor.
Then the rubber hits the road and my husband hands me a hundred dollar bill. The exact price of that pet spot bot I want to try and keep this stupid carpet in one piece for longer than the less than the two years I have had it.~~best sentence ever~~ I had to keep the last dumb carpet for ten years. After ten years of complaining about carpet when my husband finally agreed to put in laminate, what did I do?

I bought another carpet.

Temporary insanity---no maybe ever present insanity.
Isn't the definition of insanity doing things the same way and expecting different results?

Yeah, I thought so.

Certifiable.

I did have my reasons. We have too many different kinds of flooring already. Three different kinds of linoleum. When I mentioned how far I wanted the laminate to go taking out some of the linoleum my hubs vetoed that. A not budging from the veto kind of veto. Then there was all the noise on the stairs. Stairs without carpet are REALLY noisy and I am half deaf. So how noisy is that? Have you ever heard 70 pounds of dog running up and down stairs?
Then I had mental images of my 74 year old husband on his hands and knees installing this flooring board by board and I just threw in the proverbial towel. I would buy carpet. A nice thick carpet that would feel good under our feet and be pretty to look at. I wouldn't get a solid color. I wouldn't get a plush. I'd search until I found the perfect thing. Sounds good right?

The problem is this carpet looks 20 years old already and it's not even two. I tried to file a claim because its GUARANTEED. My foot. It is not guaranteed, not by Lowe's and not by Mohawk. No it's tough luck lady so sorry you have an ugly rug. We got your money and neener neener neener @#$%
raspberries blowing----

OK I have been suckered so plan B right? ~~(Sic Chris H on them)~~ New vacuum and maybe the spot bot. At least if it's clean it may be better. Professional shampooing hasn't helped it just mattes and looks just like it did before, like a carpet of dreadlocks. Rastafarian flooring baby!

The new cheap vacuum is helping a lot, a whole lot. I really want the Spot Bot and now I have the money but there is a problem.

Like "Houston we have a problem", wasn't that a great movie? ~~Are you still here?~~

I keep thinking about the winter I got locked outside and nearly froze to death--for real. I have PTSD about getting cold. I cannot handle getting cold, I become instantly neurotic. The World Vision mail came asking for the coats for freezing children. I felt sick. Sick as in nauseous and faint.

I keep thinking about the clean water filtration systems that Gospel for Asia have invented. They are amazing! $30 can buy a filtration system that gives people clean pure water. I wouldn't want to drink muddy water. I think all of us take for granted that we have clean water from our taps. Instead we buy even better water! Google it. You'll be amazed. I mean really the water in our toilets is more drinkable. How is that for perspective?

I keep thinking about chickens, ducks, and baby goats, cows, bicycles, and mosquito netting, sewing machines, medicines, and on and on. One thing can change the course for the poorest of the poor to a better life. Just one thing.

I have pockets.

I keep thinking about whose birthday it really is and why should I get a present? Why shouldn't the birthday baby get the presents? If Jesus would leave heaven and all glory and humble himself to be born and experience everything we do, because of His great love for us---then shouldn't He receive some gifts? The kind of gifts he would want, like feeding the hungry and clothing the naked. Don't I love Him? Forget the "shouldest" isn't it the right thing to do? Isn't it about love? About sacrificial love? What is a gift that doesn't cost us anything?

I wanted to run to Walmart at ten o'clock tonight and buy my Spot Bot.
I knew it was a losing battle. I didn't go. Now I have talked about it.
Blogged about it on the WWW. I've picked up a megaphone to the whole world.
Now I can't buy a stupid Spot Bot without thinking of this post forever.
How can I even think of choosing between the baby Jesus and a shag carpet?
It's the nature of being a human and having warts. Wart wart wart.
Mostly we hide ugly stuff but tonight I felt like showing some warts and then removing those nasty buggers.

Tomorrow I'm going to buy some coats, and do some shopping.
Tomorrow I'm going to buy without remorse in honor of the sweet little 8 pound baby Jesus.
...and forget about the stupid rastafarian dreadlock carpet. that the dawg has had diarreah on and the cats have puked hairballs on, etc...etc...etc...

I think I'll be feeling a lot more of the real magic of Christmas after that shopping gets done.
I am looking forward to the joy of giving.
After which I'll probably spill red wine on that oatmeal colored dreadlocked mess;
and bust up laughing.

Merry Christmas indeed!

One Day At A Time

2011-12-13T01:16:00.000-08:00

Life never happens exactly like we expect and dying doesn't either. Over the years I have seen such a strong comparison to birth in death. Adeline has been having her share of "Braxton Hicks" all the signs of impending real labor. She is declining, and interpreting what is going on to her family can be a real challenge. She has good days and bad days. There are beautiful moments where she is so lucid it is as if her dementia is gone. That is an amazing blessing.

The signs are all there. She is losing her appetite. She has disengaged from all the activities that she enjoyed. I was going to set her up in her bed and put on Jack Benny and she said , NO! I tell you what that no meant no. I was a bit disappointed because I have yet to finish the Jack Benny DVD and he is hilarious! I just might get a few of those old time comedians. They aren't grossly nasty and they are really funny. One of the things that has endeared me to Adeline is her love of laughter.

This woman has given me so much. You know as a culture we are so busy and so self absorbed that we are really missing out on what other human beings have to share with us. Our old and infirm that get shuffled off to institutions have a lot to share with us if we interact with them calmly and with patience. My experience with Adeline has been a lesson in patience. Sometimes it would take her mind quite a few minutes to process a task, but as she worked at it her brain began to engage again.
We played cards. What we did was take UNO cards and I would lay down about three numbers at a time in the same color and say what they were, for example, "Blue zero, one two and three." Then I would hand her a red zero and ask her to match the number. At first she just matched and didn't speak but as we continued she began to count and remember early childhood rhymes like, "One two buckle my....and she would say "shoe", and laugh.

I think I stumbled onto something that helps dementia. My doctor told me that this is actually the direction that research for dementia and Alzheimer's is going. Bummer I thought I made a scientific discovery! The brain is so interesting because the two halves work so so differently. The right brain is more intuitive and it is connected with physical motions. All the songs we sing as little kids when we are playing games stay in our minds. Jump rope songs, or for men military marching to ....well shoot fire whatever it is that they call that marching cadence. Whatever it is they don't forget it. It's right brain learning.

Excuse me while I blow off steam that somehow a big chunk of what I was writing just went into cyberspace and now I have to regroup and try to to get back to where I was to do it again. Did you follow that? OK that is when I want to slam down the lid of a laptop and forget it.
Of course you would never get frustrated like that right? Which is where I was going but in a different way.

Adeline has a very long fuse. She has the ability to trust and be flexible. If she is not hurried, if things are explained to her she just trusts and goes with the program. What a lesson! I have a long way to go to be even close. I get frustrated easily. I am not sure I have the slightest inclination to growing old gracefully. My mother used to tell me that.

I heard a man telling a story of his childhood with his grandfather. They used to ride the bus together. It didn't matter where they went. They picked a place to go walked around the terminal and rode back. They ate toffees and they talked. His grandfather shared with him about life. He told him stories and he taught him important lessons. The boy loved it. He didn't need a Nintendo as much as he needed the time and the human connection.

Sometimes I ask myself what on earth are we doing to ourselves with the culture we participate in. Why do agree to be in a frantic state of stress to achieve WHAT? A collection of belongings that we will later dispose of? A pile of toys for both child and adult that keep us active independently of each other until boredom sets in? At what price?

Next year my Christmas is going to be different. Next year my presents are going to be to the baby Jesus. What would Jesus want? When we look at his life he went about expressing compassion, healing the sick, multiplying loaves and fishes, feeding people comforting people, teaching them.
I think Jesus would like it if I gave a poor family a goat, or some chickens. If I bought coats for freezing children, or helped a village get clean water. There are a lot of agencies now that let you do just that. World Vision, Samaritans Purse, Gospel for Asia. We can change other peoples lives that are in dire need for so little. I don't want to be so self absorbed with one part of my brain and the other part is saying gimme gimme.

Not to long ago my daughter and I had a fight. Mothers and daughters do that from time to time.
OCD. I can be a freak, I confess. That scares me because what kind of old lady am I going to be? One of those that bites or spits? GAW! God forbid.

Do you remember in the Christmas Carol when Jacob Marley appears in the chains he forged through life? That is a good analogy for us in regards to our personalities and character. What kind of character are we building? When we are old the camouflage comes off and what we are is exposed. I want to be sweet, flexible and trusting. I want to laugh easy and accept my food without complaining. To be like Adeline. she might have dementia but she has shown me how to be endearing in spite of a difficulty.
What a legacy to leave, what an incredible gift. I am so blessed.

These last days I will keep and treasure in my heart forever. Do you remember where I was last year at this time? Hurt hardly able to do anything. I needed help with everything getting dressed, bathing, you know EVERYTHING. I could mange to wipe my own whohah. I became very fearful after that injury. I stayed home for a long time. This little job with Adeline has been therapy for me. I'm stronger and have more confidence. I don't worry about my arm all the time anymore. I have developed more stamina. By serving her I am being healed. We rescued each other and that is the hand of God directly working to touch his children's lives and bring them good.

2011-12-10T10:06:00.001-08:00

Going Home

2011-12-10T10:05:00.000-08:00

Sweet Adeline is getting ready to leave us. Wednesday began in the ordinary way with our usual routine of bath day. After breakfast she was accelerating into another place. I have seen this before but I always marvel how those who aren't medicated seem to see into the afterlife while they are still here. Whatever she was looking at was making her want to get up and go.

We have been so careful helping her to sit and to walk and on this day she wasn't needing any help! If I didn't have her up to the table she would have stood up and gone some where. I asked her where she was going and she said, "Somewhere else from here"! Bless her heart she saw angels and spoke wildly all that day and all night lone until Thursday morning. Then she was just quiet and worn out and she quit eatting. Friday when I came she couldn't get up, didn't want to eat, and appeared to be actively dying.
We called the doctor and arranged for hospice to come to the house. They will provide a lot of support and they handle the details of the death so gently. It will be better with them involved. Last night I stayed with her all night in my recliner lounger, listening to her breathe and praying.

There are so many parallels to birth in death. I felt like a new mother does listening to her newborn breathe. I was listening too. Awake and ready if she became distressed or the breathing stopped. Neither happened she had a quiet night. It seems her leaving slowed down for now. Her other daughter arrives today and I think she is waiting for her.

Last night her grandson and his wife came over and after they left she woke up and her eyes returned to clear blue from the opaque cloudiness they had become. She gazed into my face and then her daughters going back and forth between us giving us both so much of her love in those sweet tender smiles. She is amazing. What a testimony to be so full of grace and trust. She said to me," I don't understand this," and one tear rolled down the side of her cheek tearing into my heart. I told her, 'You said you want to go to Jesus, isn't that right"? She answered, "Yes". I continued, "That's what's happening your getting ready to go, and we will be right her taking care of you just like always". That settled it for her. She was reassured enough to relax and go back to sleep. A sleep of trusting.
Impressive.

I wonder if I will ever be able to give up control like that. I am told she was quite a controlling person in her day so there is HOPE.

There is hope today for her going home. We will miss her. We all did our share of crying as the realization of what was happening set in. But God who is able to keep us in perfecr peace is doing His job.

A Monthly Blogger?

2011-12-06T10:55:00.000-08:00

Have I really become a monthly blogger? It seems so. I'm not sure how this happened exactly. There are people out there in bloggy land that I have come to love. Your the ones who share ideas, jokes, your families and struggles. My kind of people and really I do miss you.

I'm in a period of my life where getting things done is just hard to do. It seems my lists of jobs are much longer than the days and my ability to get a job accomplished isn't what it used to be.
For months I have been working on getting rid of excess stuff. I had a garage sale and did pretty well.
I still have 6 bins of books a huge train set an extra couch and a couple bins of just stuff. I'm trying to get the honey to get rid of some of the junk up in the shed too. It almost feels impossible. I could use a crew of helpers.

On the other hand I love my little old lady to death. She is the most adorable old lady I have ever had the joy of caring for. My love for her nearly brings me to tears. She is the one that is helping me. I hope that I can become like her. She has the best disposition she just smiles and laughs. She can't remember too much and she is very demented but she is happy. She trusts, and she's flexible with changes, incredible traits in a human being. I want to be like her. She has qualities I admire so much.
Taking care of people like this always teaches me the VALUE of each human life. Just because someone has some kind of handicap does not mean they don't have a contribution of some kind. Many of them are here to teach us to have a greater capacity for love.

It was Hitler who thought that anyone who was not young, athletic and part of his program should die. Before the Jews were sent to the camps he systematically euthanized everyone who was "defected", more than 5 million people. Did you know that some schools are refusing to teach about the holocaust? Teenagers are not learning who Adolf Hitler is. What is forgotten can be repeated!

I had no intention of writing this. It's funny how writing can take on a life of it's own. My mind went down that path because I was thinking about handicapped people. I was thinking about how they are treated. A friend of mine used to call it being treated like an eggplant. Vegetables. That whole term repulses me. A human being is never a plant. A human being needs to be treated as such for their entire life. The problem is it takes more TIME, and it takes more ENERGY and above all else it takes LOVE. People respond to love.

I have been busy with teaching my class on Sunday morning. I think that takes a lot of my writing energy. Some weeks I am so excited with what God has given me to give to the women. I have a little group. I have to confess that I have dreamed of being a conference speaker and teaching large groups, making a change in the world, but God has given me a few. I am content and grateful for them! I love them. It is a humbling thing to try and present the KING OF KINGS to others. It is a huge responsibility and I take that very seriously. Each week it is my goal to bring them something that will enlarge their vision of who Jesus is. Each week my own vision is changed. I am the one who is being taught. God is amazing. My love for Jesus is being rekindled with a new fire in my belly. I want Him to be my first thought and my last thought. I want to know Him deeper. I want everything He has for me. I want Him to heal my body.

My bones hurt all the time, especially my hips. Even typing on a laptop in bed is very painful. I really don't blog as much because each post is written with pain. You know how I am. I don't like to talk about it. Both of my hips are affected and I have a lot of difficulty with everything. It's even hard to sleep. After awhile turning from side to side just doesn't work anymore and I wake up. It's usually some awful hour like 4am. Yuk. I turn on my TV and listen to encouraging messages. A good thing that has come from this is I found Joseph Prince. What a teacher!!!! I can't get enough of his teaching he is brilliant and anointed by God in a most powerful way. My heart and mind expand with every message, my faith is growing. I praise God for this. God is using the pain in my hips to create in me a deeper capacity for Him. So you see it is true that God uses ALL things for good to those he has called. Amen!

Our house is decorated for Christmas. Jennifer and the children did all the work. I found a gorgeous leather couch at the Good will for $160. It looks fabulous. So now my other couch is out in the carport sitting on a table with all the bins. The laundry room is so full of stuff you can't walk in there. Someone deliver me. I feel like that commercial

My daughter just came up to talk and I lost my train of thought. I'm looking at my cat. Big fat fur ball that loves my bed. He is so cute. My dog is cute my cat is cute my old lady is cute, I'm surrounded by cuteness. I've got cute people too. So much to enjoy. My goal today is to not stress over all the work that remains undone. My goal is to be thankful to enjoy this day as if it's the only one I have and to be gracious, and laugh. Life is so great with laughter.

My wish for you today is that you also have a heart of gratitude and ready laughter. I pray we all avoid the stress of this season and instead find ways to enjoy it. The music, the lights, the blessings and the promises. If not for the sweet baby Jesus their would be no Christmas at all. Enjoy this time, enjoy your families. For the young mommies who are tired and work so hard, tuck away into your hearts these times because the day will come when you look back and can see that these days are the best in your life. May all of us do something to relieve the misery of others in less fortunate countries. buy coats for the freezing, food for the starving, buy someone a goat or some chickens or help provide clean water for a community. I wish that at Christmas instead of buying each other a lot more stuff we don't need we would focus on those whose needs are dire and do something for them. We could do a lot for the world each one of us.

God bless you all! Merry Christmas!

This N That

2011-11-13T19:04:00.000-08:00

HOW....Dee! Did ya hear Minnie Pearl? Instead of wearing a hat with tags I have jewelry with tags. I have been busy getting my display of Premier jewelry (proudly made in TEXAS!) organized and also getting a presentation that I feel comfortable with. The next show I do I'll take some pictures. I think you'll like it! It's been a challenge to book shows but the shows I have given have been fun. I learned a lot from the first one and each one teaches me more about how to do it better. The main thing is for the hostess and her friends to have fun!
I will enjoy making some money too. I am still recovering my investment. I got a great deal on real black velvet at Hobby Lobby and some decorative wire tree stands, some lights, some bling and then all the sparkleys; are you feeling it?

It's not all glam around here though. I have been tackling fur balls that look like tumbleweeds and little piglets in the pigsty. Mess, dust, grime, more mess. When the mom gets out of commission for a LONG time the dwelling begins to take on the feel of a barn. Letting the puppy jump on the bed wasn't too bad before he got to 70 pounds, now he can bust the springs. He sounds like a horse galloping when he runs his "hooves" pound the dirt, and then track it into the house. I plead temporary insanity for picking oatmeal frieze carpet. Drugs mess you up prescription or not.

Hum and my other news is that I ordered my grand girl in the snow a warm coat and some very cute waterproof snow boots. Charged it courtesy of HSN. Of all the times in my life to rationalize the use of credit, keeping that girl from freezing seems reasonable.
I just can't even begin to think about Christmas. There are 6 weeks until Christmas. I don't want to shop, decorate, or do any of it. Just call me Eb. My idea of a great Christmas this year would be to go to all the ballet's and musicals and just enjoy. My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving because it isn't commercialized very much although the stores are sure trying. We have decorations for everything. I saw Christmas decorations out in late August when it's hot! I'm tired of being rushed. The week after Christmas the Valentines go out. I am feeling like stepping off the band wagon and just enjoy the way I want too. I had hoped to get some sewing done. The 6 week target on that ought to light a fire under me. It's all I can do to get done what I have going on now. Don't even say one word about that un-sentence, it's the drugs I tell ya!

I have a new toy. A lap top. Midge won it and was going to sell it on Craig's List because she didn't need it. I told my Hunny to buy it for me in an off hand way and he DID! I don't have it set up yet but when I get it done and buy one of those air conditioning lap pillows I just may be a regular blogger again!

Fall is officially here the trees are gorgeous, the air is cooler but still lots of sun shine. I'm ready for soups and pies, if someone else would do the work. I hope you are all enjoying this great time of year. Did anybody else besides me eat way to much candy after Halloween? I never get it right. Last year I ran out of candy so this year I bought candy and had 2 door knockers. We finished off the last peanut butter snickers bars tonight. If I could swing my hips walking up the stairs I could probably do the bump with the walls.....just sayin.

Eat Candy and Have Fun!

2011-10-31T17:46:00.000-07:00

Neighborhoods

2011-10-28T08:57:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning to cool air and rain. It was 80 yesterday and still felt like sweaty summer but in a nice way. It stays warm in the South for so long. Watching your blogs over the years the reality of how cold most of the states are has become a living picture. Reading your posts I often think, "How can they be getting cold so soon it just got warm there?" I think about how each one of us has some kind of struggle where we are. Some of us are too cold, and some of us sweat.

Do you remember when you were young hearing old people talk about their bones? My grandparents did. They talked about old bones and rheumatism. My Grandpas hands were gnarled up and they were the hands of a gardener. He was the one who toured me through his massive gardens showing me cute surprises and asking me what I liked. I loved him. I loved those walks in the gardens. It was my first experience as a child of quiet communing. I enjoyed my time with him because he settled me, he quieted me and we walked and talked together. I suppose you could say my grandpa treated me like a person when I was a child.

This year is almost over and I am thinking of how long we have been here, almost 12 years. For twelve years I have been miserable in the long hot summers with the deluge of bugs, until this year. This year I made a conscious decision to avoid negative thinking. I haven't accomplished this but I'm working on it. I can't take credit for this but I heard somewhere, "My mind is like a bad neighborhood, I should never go there by myself." I love that. Who to take with me into the hood? I can't think of anyone better than the Holy Spirit. Murmuring is serious to God. Really when we are complaining we are in God's face about our circumstances. The current trend today is to talk about God as Daddy and all the love and grace. That is true, but God is also God, high, holy, and lifted up. In His physical presence we would be undone. The appearance of angels causes men to fall down as if dead, how much more so the God of the universe?

That helps me with being a whiner, complainer, negative thinker; when I realize that really I am letting God know in a most disrespectful way that I do not believe. You might be thinking, "How did she jump to that?" If I complain about my circumstances then I am not believing and resting in God's sovereign plan for my life. He is either all knowing and all powerful or not. He is either on His throne and I am in the palm of His hand or not. I either solidly believe He has a purpose and plan for my individual life or not.

That's why the Israelites were in so much trouble in the wilderness. They kept looking at where they were instead of who God is. They forgot about all that He had done before and complained. The consequences for that were a 40 year march instead of a 6 month trip. Do you think that maybe God takes unbelief seriously?

Each week that I teach my small ladies Bible group I grow in amazing leaps. I don't understand why God is blessing me with this. He is faithful and I am not. Each week He takes my meager portion of study, my two fish and a piece of bread and He makes a feast for all of us. Jumping in to serve has taken me to places I never thought I'd go. The Word of God is more alive to me than it's ever been and I am applying it to my life.

My mind is a hood and I don't need to go there alone. My circumstances are not important. My focus CAN be a sacrifice of praise. When is the last time you really thought about what that means? A sacrifice of praise. Sometimes we are praising God when what we really want to do is a have big bitch session. We have the choice about what we offer. The miracle happens when we offer the sacrifice.

When we enter that throne room and come into the presence of the Lord of all, and praise, something happens to us. His presence comes upon us like a soft cloud of peace and light drifting gently, enveloping and comforting, it's so soft quiet....holiness. A place to rest, a place of quiet holy prayer.
There in His presence fears vanish, problems shrink, complaints depart, we are strengthened, and hearts are mended. When we go out from there we are ready to be wherever we are. We are ready to go wherever we need to go. We can endure whatever it is, cold, heat, pain, sorrow, or stress, because we do not go alone and that is reason enough to praise.

It Just Doesn't Look Like Much.

2011-10-17T14:45:00.000-07:00

Howdy. I am still a part of planet Earth.

Some days I feel like I'm working on a sinking ship.

I've been so busy. It's ridiculous how long it takes me to get anything done.

It takes so long there isn't energy to write about it.

Or it's embarrassing to admit it, or both.

Seriously, did I just wake up one day and become an old lady?

I moved back upstairs. I wish you could really see this color, it's just gorgeous and the photo doesn't do it justice. I rolled the walls and my friend cut in with the brush. It's amazing what I can do now compared to six months ago, sort of.

~~YES, it put me in bed for a dang week.~~

I should NOT have done it but it felt so good to pretend that there is something normal about me.

This is the new love in my life. I used to work 12 hours a day. Now I try and work 12 hours a week split into 3 afternoons. I have not had the best attendance record. A real job would have fired me. BUT my girlfriend loves what I do with her sweet little mama so much she doesn't care! Works for me.

I love taking care of her. She can walk so NO lifting. I get her up bathe her, dress her, give her a pedicure a couple of times a month and then we go into the kitchen. Oh yeah and I do her hair.

We listen to music while I cook our breakfast. I get to eat too!

~~FOOD IS LOVE.~~

After we eat we play puzzles, identify words, play matching games with cards, try and count, talk, cut up and giggle and just have fun.

That's her "therapy."

She is severely demented but her response has been outstanding.

She is talking in short sentences, smiling, laughing, and responding.

IF she is upset which is very rare she babbles like she's speaking in tongues and I just reassure her.

She's sweet and pleasantly confused.

A perfect patient.

Truthfully I don't know WHO is getting blessed more.

I think it's me.

I make a small amount of money which helps us get gas and a bit of food.

I don't do it for the money,I used to make that much in 3 hours.

~~I used to work 12 hours a day. Repeating myself again.~~

How did I do that?

Seriously, I can't even comprehend doing that much work in day, or a week or a month.

Now I work for the love and the pure joy of it.

My gardening has changed as well. How do you like this? It's all from the dollar store and doesn't require any water or fertilizer. It took me FOREVER to just clean up the side yard. Argh....the frustration is intense. To work 10 years establishing an amazing garden and not be able to keep it up is just gross. I want to move. The timing isn't right yet but maybe in the future.

The kids are doing great and they are so much more comfortable in the big room. We tried to have David use the utility room as his bedroom and that just didn't work. We were back to putting the vacuums in any available corner and stepping over toys to wash clothes was too much for me! Man do I remember those days. I think one of the hardest parts of getting laundry done when you are a young mother is the stepping over, clearing a path, wiping snotty noses, and answering the phone..... on your way to the washer; where you never get.

There are some advantages to age.

Here's my latest project or part of it. I am PURGING! Barfing up stuff, gobs of it. I have too many books, too many pictures, too much wall art, an excess of baskets, 3 sets of dishes, and all the stuff my grandmother asked me to "take care of".

I am over it!

IF I have learned anything in this process it is that too much stuff is a ball and chain around my neck. Yes Ebeneezer Jacob Morley was right.

My brother is coming to get a bunch of Grandma's things my family isn't interested. Then the burden will be his. I haven't even really bought my own style of things because I have so much from other people. I am grateful but I just don't care about keeping all of this. It's work to have things. They have to be dusted and they take up space. I am just over it!

I'm repeating myself. It's a symptom of dementia. I sometimes think my best meeting of the minds is with my sweet demented lady. Hummmmmmmm. I have remembered recently though that I have a blog and I used to write on it, and I liked it. A short moment of clarity and a brief window of time. I am on vacation this week. The plan is to pack up everything I don't want and get it out of here! and post.

OK the SQUIRREL. I kept the squirrel for 3 weeks. My cats and my dog wanted to eat her.

Yes, this 66 pound handsome boy really wanted a squirrel snack. Aint he a handsome boy?
I kept her by herself unless I could guard the cage because it's a lot of stress to feel like a little hamburger with feet. I don't know if squirrels have the brains to realize that a cage keeps them safe. Really.
I found a wild life rescue and turned her over to them. I didn't want to release her and have her come over for a bottle or a slice of banana and become cat food, nawww not.
However the story does have a funny twist to it. I said I thought I had a 5 or 6 week old baby squirrel that was still taking a bottle. When I dropped her at the vet they told me I had a much older squirrel than that. She was a "teenager". MY question was, "Then why is she still taking a bottle?' After all she was still very small and I was feeling like a perfect idiot!

Answer.

BECAUSE you are giving it to her!

Naturally, the story of my life, spoil everything in my touch, spoiled rotten.

Squirrel-y News Flash

2011-09-13T09:08:00.000-07:00

There are no AA batteries in the house. There are pictures on my camera that I cannot upload. Pictures of a pocket sized baby squirrel in my pocket. I now have a little nipple on a 10 cc syringe to feed a baby squirrel with. I have to admit that it's fun. Peanut makes a lot of cute noises and can suck that syringe down in a flat hurry. I suppose squirrel mothers are pretty busy and move pretty fast. Those little fellas learn to eat quick!!

We checked on the internet about what to feed him and how much. Fortunately for us this baby is about 6 weeks and fully furred up so he stands a good chance. We actually started out with two but one had been bitten by the cat and didn't make it. Cats have a lot of bacteria in their mouths. I really can't get too excited about going to a vet with a squirrel. Sorry if that upsets you but I think we need to have rational perspective about critters. Poor Roman got into a red ant hill and has one very sore foot and we did go to the vet for him, poor boy was going crazy from that! AWFUL! You have to be higher up on the food chain to go to the vet around here.

Lest you think I am heartless I tried everything to save that little fella, even shaved a tiny fraction off of Romans antibiotic to give him a chance. I put a heating pad under their cage and let him curl up on the nice soft bedding and he passed quietly in his sleep.

Squirrels falling out of their nests too soon is probably one of natures population control measures, which by the way doesn't work around here. We are INFESTED with squirrels. We just happened to find these. It wasn't hard when they were screaming because of cats. Peanut was not hurt. He is on his 3rd day and very lively. He has a good appetite. It's so funny to see how fast they can eat and when they are full that's it, DONE! He is very cute holding onto the bottle nipple and sucking away. All babies hold their bottles, in this case a syringe. Peanut takes 6 cc's at each feeding. Amazing isn't it? The website suggested adding a bit of banana to the formula and that was the ticket. He isn't ready for solids yet and won't eat a little piece of banana. The website said to give him formula soaked monkey biscuits and little bits of fruit one at a time just like a baby, when he's ready for solid food. I am grateful it can go potty by itself and I don't have to rub it's little nether regions with a wet cotton ball to get it to go. You have never in your life seen such tiny little poops.

Am I rational to be carrying around a squirrel in my shirt pocket?

Why do I have a squirrel nursery set up in my room?

Why am I syringe feeding a rodent with a tail?

BECAUSE IT'S a BABY and it's CuTe..... no other reason.

I'd say it's hormones but my ovaries are gone. I guess somethings never leave a woman's system.

Peanut also likes to snuggle down into the bottom of a sock and go to sleep. He loves Jennifer she talks like a squirrel to him. He loves riding in my pocket. His cage is big and full of that soft shaved bedding. He loves to burrow under it and run across, or climb around the cage. I was thinking we should put a tree branch in there for him to climb on. Maybe toys?

I wonder though what will happen when he grows up because if we try to release him here and he comes to visit, two cats will greet him. Not a good plan. Think think think.

I can just imagine a squirrel tearing up my entire house. The kittens gave the couch it's battle scars.
Oh well one day at a time.

This video is more like Peanut, he's part piggie.

How about a wild story? A true story! An AMAZING story.

Yesterday Heather sent Papa a text. The text read the following words.

Just woke up to a nekkid woman in my room trying to steal my Jujitsu robe.

Pa texts back, "Are u dreamin?"

Heather texts back, " No the cops are here she's been in a lot of houses up and down our street. She already had a pair of my shoes. The cops are trying to cover her up but she won't let them."

Pa calls Heather, this is too much information for texting.

Apparently this woman was very high on some kind of drugs. She had a big stash of stuff from the neighbors. It's pretty hard to get away with a crime when you are nekkid in public in broad daylight.

Heather told the cops that in the South someone would say to them, " bless your heart". They had to smile at that. Some days there just isn't enough pay for the job you do.

Never Forget

2011-09-11T13:17:00.000-07:00

No we will never allow a Mosque to be built on this sight as a trophy to the death of these people.
Americans died ten years ago calling out for God. Ten years later the mayor of New York is allowing no clergy and no prayer to commemorate the day.

That is another shame.

I'm Here

2011-09-09T00:14:00.000-07:00

I feel like a who in whoville, on a little dust speck. I'm heeerrrrrrreeeeeeeeee. bloggin has almost fallen off of my radar. I can't sit!

Can you believe that? How can you blog is you can't sit? I am sitting right now and there is a pole in one of those billowy cheeks, can't see it but sure do feel it. Not pleasant.
HOWEVER I am endeavoring to re enter the land of the purposeful. The once completely empty calendar is beginning to have activities in it on a regular basis. Wowzas. Now I know most of you cannot relate to that at all because your calendar is chock full of too much. Be careful what you complain about because an empty calendar is only a relief for a short time. I think most of us humans like stimulation of some kind. We are created to work, and we work to create. I am trying to do a bit of work.

The best thing is teaching a Bible study at church. I have been teaching in Jude and what a book that is! Teaching makes one dig deeper and we have been in this book for 6 weeks. I am learning so much. It is a joy to do it.

and ta da da!!! I have a cute little old lady to help out a bit. Not a lot of hours at all and no lifting but it is such a joy for me. My friend was struggling taking care of her 96 year old mama who suffers from dementia but is otherwise very healthy. I started out by helping her now and then and giving her phone advice. Then I went for one afternoon and now we try for 3 afternoons a week about 12 hours. Absolutely stunning when you think that was my shift for ONE DAY. I've only done the 12 hours once.
This week is my second time. my back gave out, of course. The little I do is so enjoyable for all of us.
My friends home is so peaceful and so full of grace. I look forward to just going over there. I have thought a lot about what happens to a home that is prayed in the way hers is. The home becomes a holy sanctuary where the presence of God dwells. If there is nothing in your home that would quench the spirit of God, then the spirit remains.

This week I heard a profound statement on the radio. We need to live as supernatural beings in a human world; instead of living like humans in a supernatural world. BECAUSE we are immortal and this world is not. Chew that for awhile.

That's my little update. My family is fine. I hear from Kayla often but she is not ready to come home. I wonder about all the homeless people. how many of them have families that wish they would return? Why is it that some people in our culture cannot find acceptance except in the culture of being homeless?
It breaks my heart.

I am ashamed that I have still not sent a new baby gift to the new grandson he is a beautiful fat cherub.
I have a little pair of booties but I want something else to send along with that. Something handmade.

Would you believe I haven't taken hardly a picture? Life is changing again and it is good.
Except for the sitting issue. That makes it hard to read and write on a computer. I miss all of my bloggy buddies. I really do and I wonder what is going on. It takes me what feels like forever just to catch up on one blog. I have quite a few that I like to read so I am WAY WAY WAY behind.
However I am saving up for a little notebook or something I can type on while reclining, and then I'll be back ~~full steam ahead~~ at a slow pace, something I can manage. ~~GAH what a bore!~~

Howdy

2011-08-16T11:27:00.000-07:00

We have been sweltering in the heat. With 97% humidity a person can break a sweat inside the house. Either that or I am having uber hot flashes. This week the humidity dropped to the 80's and it feels like paradise.
My week has been very interesting. Roman got sick and had a big BLOW out of diarrhea in my Hunny's man cave. not once, twice, but three times. Seventy pound Roman still lives. I was looking into adopting a beautiful basset mix and I had to shut up about it. Even I know when I am just licked.

This is Ginger isn't she beautiful?

It's time to start cleaning up the yard. It's a jungle out there. It's been too hot to do anything at all so I am way way way behind.
I have been trying to catch up on your blogs. Watching Heather move to the middle east has been cool. I'm green with envy over the beautiful clothes she is buying there. GORGEOUS http://wattsfamilybythesea.blogspot.com/2011/08/all-things-new.html

and then reading about Connie's traumatic fire!!!! http://overgoodground.blogspot.com/2011/08/leaving-my-heart-to-flames.html and while your there read her post "Seeing Red" she explains how to have your e mail address in your return so it's not "no reply to comment" you don't want to know how many replies I typed a response to that went into cyber space. My brain is blonde. I'll give proof by the end of this post.

Our newest grandson born one day before my birthday. He actually missed being on my birthday by a few hours. Got some chubba cheeks on him doesn't he? Another one out in California what a heartache to have so many babies out there. This one is named Caleb. I can smell his little newborn smell in my imagination.

Oh and Katie has a big fun surprise. http://paintsplashes.blogspot.com/2011/08/little-or-big-behind.html
Her mom is going to be cooking with Ree and she is going too. I told Katie if she doesn't make something I might be sick. She is a fabulous cook in her own right. Her sourdough bread's are beautiful and she makes tons of home made gourmet foods.

I'm sittin with a little old lady a couple of afternoons a week and luvin it! It's about all I can manage but it gives me a pick me up mentally. I'm also teaching bible Study on sunday mornings to a small woman's class.
Jojo broke her ribs in a fall and that about killed me to read and I am really behind catching up on Trudy--my sweet bluebird. I don't know why but I am just struggling to keep up with life. I think of ideas to write about and don't. I see pictures to take and don't. I still can't sit for hardly any time since the trip to the beach. Riding in the car really set my hips back.

Jen has been rearranging and redecorating the whole house and it looks fabulous. No, I haven't taken pictures.
No news from me usually means I don't feel good. I would rather blog when I'm up! So there you have it. People are moving and changing and having all kinds of struggles so who am I to whine? PASS.

Focusing on what is good and making that lemonade out of lemons is still what I think makes us better it helps me and I can be the biggest sourpuss of all. Except for being with my daughter which can be so hilarious. The following is a real life joke.
TWO BLONDES AT THE MALL.
The two of us went shopping at the mall. When we were ready to exit we went up to the glass doors to leave. There are 4 sets of double doors there. Jennifer walked up to the first door and stood there waiting and nothing happened. I followed her. She moved to the left to the second set and stood there, nothing happened and I followed her. At the third set she started getting upset and said, "MOM all these doors are broken how we get out of here?" At which point my brain kicked into gear and I said, "push it." It opened. Jen took a rapid glance over her shoulder to see if anyone had seen us and said, "Let's get out of here!" Yes this is true, and yes we laughed. We laughed for three days and now I am laughing again. Sometimes real life is better than anything.

Why We Love the Beach

2011-08-06T10:00:00.000-07:00

Dauphin Island has a plethora of hermit crabs.

There is also evidence of Katrina that is sharp rusty iron.

Oyster shells.

Don't you want to dip your toes in?

It's still fun to sink in the sand no matter how old you are.

This little dude is just truckin. I love the sea!!!!!

Prettiest diamonds of all.

Beach houses for rent.

Someone's beach bathroom went into the ocean and is coming back again.

Crab hole!

Gotta love drift wood.

This pelican on the pole became quite the bird model he really showed off his moves for us.

I had worried he might fly away. no worries mate.

My college friend we met when our girls were 4 years old.

When we quit paying attention to Mr. Pelican he started moving around so we would take his picture again. Happy to oblige!

awhhhhh feels so nice.

Sporty flippers and a good pedi! She definitely has on the beach theme.
We had a great time. I have more pics but this is enough for today.
It is so hot out I hope everyone is finding ways to keep cool.

Silly Is As Silly Does

2011-08-05T10:31:00.000-07:00

From one totom pole to another, think a bean bag will fit?

we are dancing

really we can do this without drugs,

and the beat goes on.

OK will someone please tell me how I can be so retarded to cut off everyone's heads except for the dog?
sheezzzzz

Where's Waldo?

2011-07-27T09:59:00.000-07:00

I never had any intentions of taking a "blog break." It just happened all by itself! Not me I di'nt do it, it's that other guys' fault. Really I don't even know what happened, because writer's write. I love to write. I also love to read. Apparently I can't do both. I have been reading some really good books.

Same Kind of different As Me written by Lynn Vincent, is the true story of a wealthy art dealer and his sweet wife who begin working with homeless people and make a life long friendship with one special man in the process.

AMAZING story.

Lynn Vincent also helped another family tell their story, "Heaven is For Real," a little 4 year old boy who spent some time sitting on Jesus lap while his little body was wrestling with death. Their story is very credible and a great testimony. Guess what? There are animals in heaven a lot of them!!! I KNEW it!!!

Another AMAZING story. (Roman is alive and well, no worries.)

The Heavenly Man by Brother Yun. This is an intense read. This man was a part of the awakening in China. He is an instrumental leader of the underground churches there and suffered greatly for it. Three times he was in prison and severely tortured by the authorities and how he overcame every time is incredible. POWERFUL life changing book. WE HAVE NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT!!!!!!!

The Red Sea Rules, by Robert J Morgan. The same God who led you in will lead you out. This little pocket book is packed with wisdom and encouragement.

All of these books were page turners. I was hooked from page one and didn't put them down until they were finished. The Heavenly Man took me more than one sitting because of the intensity and length. You cannot read a book like that quickly. I need to read the Red Sea Rules again because it has so much in it. He uses the story of the Israelites backed up to the Red Sea before Moses parted the waters and makes a point that God had instructed them to go there. Hummmmm so sometimes our backs are against the wall to teach us something and just like those people we grumble. BUT God can teach us in those situations more than when we are comfortable.

What else have I been doing? A whole month went by. Swimming or more accurately water exercises and my arm is doing so great! I am very excited at the progress of healing I have. God is so good to me. I can actually get my arm around my hubby's neck very carefully, but it is so sweet to be able to do that!!!
I have more mobility, less pain, and have weaned most meds to half and discontinued one. I am on my way! I don't know if I'll ever get my arm up over my head but I can live like this. I am hoping to be able to do some kind of work again. It won't be shift work or hospital work but it will be something. ATTITUDE is everything!

My daughter gets a lot of my time she is irresistible like that. She's signed up for cosmetology school to start in August. We are so excited about that!. It also means they will be living here another year so we have plans to rearrange the place. So out comes the paint buckets and here we go AGAIN! But seriously do you see this? Could you resist? No matter how old they are they can wrap you around their fingers. I am a sucker, plain and simple. All she has to do is smile.

It's going to be fun though. David is going to have a "camping" style theme in the utility room. We are going to make some kind of a tent over the bunk bed and fix him up a boys area. Then I'm going back upstairs, Jen and Boo are coming down the bathrooms get switched, yada yada yada. We might as well just MOVE! I would but the Hunny won't. I could very much appreciate a ONE story house, with 6 ft fences all the way around.

It has been too hot for me to garden. Too humid & hot to walk. It has been too hot, unless you are in a pool. Thankfully we are finally getting the rain we need, with some thunder and lightening for added interest.

I found my camera. I have a few photos to share. Yesterday was my birthday and I will have photos to share from that! It was fun. I'll save all of that for another post. Next week as in MONDAY we are going to the gulf to spend 2 days at the beach. I'll post about that promise pinky swear.

All from seeds. The mass of it makes the beauty, they are zennias, asters, sunflowers, marigolds, cosmos, and pepper plants.

Cone flowers and black eyed Susans, or rubeckia.

I will catch up on what has been going on with you. I have missed you. The days have just been flying by. Been there done that....can't remember.

The garden looks pretty because of him. He does not mind prolific sweat or heat. Not me.

He had to gate off the drive way because of a certain big beastie deciding it's worth it to go roam the streets. He can't get out now. Thanks Hun. It's not a very tall gate but it's recycled from one of the Hunny's jobs. Some people can afford to throw away real cast iron gates and I am so glad they can!
Now yawl pray that Roman does not figure out that he could jump this with ease, or we will be back to the drawing board again.

See ya soon!