Fresh Perspective, III

Guile And Guns

2012-02-02T14:00:00.000-08:00

So the world has continued spinning and as far as we know it will continue for some time now. That is unless you are a 2012er as some of my friends are. You know thinking that the Mayans calendar predicts that the world will end on December 21st, 2012. I am an huge supporter of the 2012 myth and I kind of hope that the world does end because I would much rather travel a desolate wasteland fighting mutant animals and scavenger bands of raiders ala Fallout style instead of going to work and making money to pay my bills so I can have a family with kids that I raise to get jobs and make money to pay their bills and raise a family and so on and so forth. Don't get me wrong I am all for having a family, I wouldn't be getting married and planning a life with my soon to be wife if I didn't want a family, but who doesn't think it would be awesome to live like they did in the Old West. Very few laws and even fewer lawmen to hold you to them. Only having to answer for yourself with your guile and guns.

I would walk the destroyed streets of Tacoma looking for the last vestiges of society. Two six-shooters strapped to my hip and a fancy hat to protect me from the UV rays coming through the non-existent ozone layer. Fighting mutated dogs and cats for scraps of food. Not trusting anyone for fear that they would some day turn on me just to get a better spot to sleep in... Now that I think about it this might not be as much fun as I thought it would be. I mean I like having a refrigerator and heating and air conditioning and a nice warm comfy bed to sleep in. Not having to fight my dog for food every day. As well as being able to trust people to not kill me just so they can sleep in my nice warm comfy bed.

In other news the Susan G. Komen foundation has pulled their funding from Planned Parenthood to do free, or really inexpensive, breast exams for women. They say it is because Planned Parenthood is being investigated by Congress and that they do not give funds to questionable organizations. I think it is pure poppycock. I support Susan G. Komen for the cure and I have for a very long time. The most important people in my life are women and some of them have been affected by breast cancer and I want an organization that does so much good to be there if it should ever happen to any of the other women in my life. The thing is people are mad at SGK for this move because they are taking away funding that was specifically earmarked fro breast exams for something that is only being done because we can't just let people have private lives.

I could go into the debate about abortion and get you all fired up but I just can't muster up the right gusto for it. I believe that everyone, man or woman, has the right to decide how they are treated by a doctor and that a doctor should abide by those wishes. I don't think doctors should have carte blanche to do whatever they want but whatever is in their power to help their patient. Primum non nocere* is the key phrase in medicine and as long as the treatment the patient is asking for follows that rule then all should be good. Back to Planned Parenthood.

Abortions aside 97% of what Planned Parenthood does involves things that have nothing to do whatsoever with abortions. In 2009, Planned Parenthood provided 4,009,549 contraceptive services (that means condoms and birth control to stop unwanted pregnancies that could lead to abortions and was only 35% of their total services), 3,955,926 sexually transmitted disease services (also 35% of their total services, which also has nothing to do with abortion and actually helps people stay healthy), 1,830,811 cancer related services (only 16% of total but a lot if you ask me I don't have anywhere near that rate of cancer assistance and I check women's breasts all the time for cancer), 1,178,369 pregnancy/prenatal/midlife services (10% of their services is helping women having a healthy and problem free pregnancy, definitely not abortions), 332,278 abortion services (3% and this says services so that could mean a check up before or after an abortion as well as the abortion itself), and 76,977 other services (the remaining 1%). That is over 11 million services that organization provides.

I will continue to support SGK in it's efforts to find a cure but I won't be happy about it because I think that SGK and Planned Parenthood is a partnership made in gold. As some have said, "if you don't want to support an organization like Planned Parenthood then SGK should start their own organization that has clinics all over the country and does free or inexpensive cancer checks and other women's health care minus the abortions. Yet don't make it one of those crazy Christian pro-life organizations that protest Planned Parenthood.

Where did I start this post and how did I get to where I am. What I am saying is that I have been thinking a lot about things and I wanted to ease you into the topic of abortion and cancer. I hope you can understand why I am upset and I hope that Planned parenthood and Susan G. Komen make it through this firestorm okay. We can't lose either organization and I don't care what you say.

*First, do no harm.

Observations Of A Mad Man

2012-01-31T21:37:00.000-08:00

I have been spending a lot of time thinking about stuff as I sit around twiddling my thumbs waiting for the Internet to fix itself because gosh darn it I shouldn't have to fix it some one else should. You know why? Because I am an American and there is no reason I should ever have to do something for myself. So as I sit here waiting for that magical fix it man to fix my Internet I have been thinking about a lot of things.

- Orange Julius is the poor mans Jamba Juice.

- The Occupy Movement is much like PETA. You don't care to stop the crazies and disavow their actions so I don't care to acknowledge you as a legitimate movement.

- The service industry is most likely the cause of life prejudices.

- When will McDonald's realize that I only want their Egg McMuffins and hash browns allow me to get breakfast anytime of day.

I would share more of my musings but I have a life and things to do and I can't sit around writing blog posts all day for you guys who don't have lives and just wait impatiently for me to write something new.

Pardon My Absence

2012-01-27T20:32:00.000-08:00

When I moved the first thing I did was buy a new router for our house as our Internet connection kept fizzing out. It worked and everyone rejoiced in our newly working Internet. Our joy would be short lived.

Earlier this week, Tuesday to be exact, our Internet stopped working. Even with the new router this would happen on occasion and we had learned to live with it. I thought that given a few hours and a hard reset of the router and modem would bring everything back to harmonious Internet wonderfulness. This was not the case.

After a hard reset and three days of no connection we are still without Internet. I know what you are asking, how are you posting this now? We trekked out of the house to a local Wi-Fi hot spot.

The problem with a wi-fi hot spot is that I can't enjoy the Internet in the same way. hot spots don't like it when you sit in your underwear. They really don't like it when you whip it out while watching some porn. Now that I think about it I should just go to the King Public Library.

The Answers To Your Questions

2012-01-20T23:21:00.000-08:00

Dear Customers,

What does it look like is happening to our store? I know maybe we just haven't gotten any shipment because of the weather. This is odd as all the other stores in the mall are still getting shipment. Maybe our shipment comes from some foreign country that has been having a a military coup and all our inventory is being held hostage by the rebels. This would make sense in a daytime drama about a group of people that work at a store in the mall and the writers have run out of ideas. This is not the case with our store, we are closing this location.

Could we be going out of business? This is completely possible in the sort of economic environment the country has been in the past few years. That would be my first guess if I was just walking by the store and saw the empty walls and minuscule amount of inventory. It's sad and who wants a store to go out of business? Not me that's why it's not as sad as you think. We are just closing this location and The Children's Place as a company is still going to be open.

What about the price. Is that $5.99? Why yes it is $5.99. everything is $5.99 except the hats which are $1.99. This is what I say to all of you when you ask so how do you think it makes me feel when you ask over and over again how much something is. I know it's my job to answer your questions and help you with your needs but I am a bit upset about our store closing.

Are you moving the store or relocating? Why yes I am relocating to the Southcenter store but I feel like that is none of your business. Our store is not moving anywhere and not all of us have the opportunity to transfer. I am not as sad and upset as others since I am moving to a new location but how do you think the others that aren't feel?

So dear customers shut the fuck up and let us wallow in our sadness.

Icemageddon

2012-01-19T21:27:00.000-08:00

Dear Western Washington,

I am glad I am not you. Not because I am relaxing on a warm tropical beach right now and not in Western Washington but because you are all wimps.

I braved the snow yesterday not once but twice and made it out both times alive and well without any incident. Yes the snow was tough to get through and I would have much rather sat at home watching television but someone in my house had to go to work. I Went and I conquered the shit out the snow at the Tacoma Mall. Yes we closed early and I went back home with my tail between my legs, not in defeat but to stay warm. Then later in the day after being home for a few hours we decided that the snow was not going to make us it's bitch and went out for a nice evening of pool and Big Buck Safari. Not only did I Kick some Kudu ass I had a fun time watching the six televisions and the numerous games of pool.

Snow - 0, Nick & Company - 2

Today I woke up early and I showered and I got ready for the trek to the "office". I put on gloves and a hat and all sorts of other warm gear and started the chiseling the inch of ice off of the car. I had the car on defrost and was using some de-icing spray and still the ice had me bested. So I stepped it up a notch and used my Thu'um of Fire Breath and de-iced the shit out of that car. After shouting the ice off of my car I took a seat in the drivers seat about to drive away into wonderful Tacoma Mall bliss when the radio announced the Tacoma Mall was closed. So I trekked back inside and had myself some wonderful Pancake breakfast. I then realized I had carbonated soda inside my car and I needed to get it out before it exploded everywhere and got everything all gross like. So I went out and proceeded to kick the ice off of my car (I apologize at this point if you thought the original car was mine and are confused by this last statement. The car I originally de-iced was my fiances car and therefore not mine). I managed to get the door open and the trunk cleaned off enough to get all the soda out but in the process I broke off my antenna all the way.

Soon after trekking back inside from my little soda adventure I got a phone call from work. Apparently the mall had opened today and someone was needed asap. I jumped into my jeans and was soon on my way to the mall. I did not slide once and I crushed the shit out of that ice like I was driving a steamroller over toothpaste tubes. I worked the whole day and was hesitant to make my way outside after we closed up shop for the day. I trekked to the car and found the ice to by pitiful in comparison to what I had encountered earlier in the day. Soon I was on my way to Fred Meyer where I purchased numerous flashlights and batteries, diet soda, spinach, and pineapple juice (Fun Fact: Pineapples grow on the ground not in trees as you would assume). After making my purchases I laughed as I watched others skid and slide on the icy ground as I expertly skated my way back to the car and home to blissful freedom.

Ice - 1 (for the antenna), Nick - 4

Censorship

2012-01-18T14:53:00.000-08:00

**THIS POST HAS BEEN REDACTED DUE TO GOVERNMENT CENSORSHIP**

Dear Readers,

Today ~~Congress and~~ the ~~Senate are~~ debating ~~about~~ two bills, ~~PIPA and SOPA~~, both bills have the potential to create a world where the ~~Internet is~~ no longer the ~~amazing~~ thing we have grown to love ~~and appreciate~~.

The bills have been written ~~and~~ sent to both the house ~~and~~ the senate to fight ~~Internet~~ piracy. ~~I am a~~ huge supporter ~~of fighting~~ piracy ~~in all~~ walks of life. I don't like it when people ~~illegally~~ download music ~~and~~ movies. I think that ~~artists~~, writers, ~~and~~ the ~~others involved~~ should be paid for the work they have done. I don't think they need to be paid as much but that ~~is a~~ conversation for ~~another~~ day. So when people download movies ~~and~~ music from the ~~Internet~~ without paying for ~~it I~~ get upset. So ~~in a way I want~~ to support both ~~SOPA and PIPA~~, but ~~as a~~ censorship conscious ~~American I~~ know ~~it is~~ the wrong choice to support these bills.

Now both bills leave the policing to the ~~companies and organizations~~ that has copyrights being ~~infringed on~~. This means that most likely not ~~every~~ site that has questionable stuff ~~on it is~~ going to be shut down but ~~it also~~ means that ~~any~~ site with ~~anything~~ potentially questionable could be shut down for good. That means that my blog ~~if I accidentally~~ posted something that someone doesn't like I could be reported to X company ~~and~~ they could get me shut down. I know you don't care ~~about~~ that but I kind of do.

I know that there ~~are~~ no ~~Senators or Congressmen~~ reading this but I know that some of their constituents ~~are and you~~ have the power to say something. I have no real worry ~~about~~ these bills ~~as Google and Wikipedia are opposed~~ to this bill but that doesn't stop us from ~~also~~ making ~~our~~ voices heard as well. Make ~~Congress aware~~ that ~~SOPA and PIPA are~~ not what the ~~American~~ people want.

Fallout: Snowpocalypse

2012-01-16T16:01:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year again folks. Time for the common folk to put on ten jackets, stomp there way to their cars, and then drive like crazy fucking maniacs to get where ever they go. Don't get me wrong snow sucks and I hate driving in it as much as the next person but I at least have the common decency to realize that the driving conditions are not the most ideal.

Here is the problem with the Pacific Northwest and the snow. Our snow is usually only about 3-4 inches but then something amazing happens, it gets warm again. This warmth causes the snow to do something that you may not be familiar with, it melts. Then it gets cold again because the sun goes down and guess what happens to the melting snow? It freezes.

This whole situation causes all sorts of trouble with getting into your car in the morning and people don't think they need so much extra time to unfreeze their doors. So they try to leave only a few minutes earlier then they are running late so they try to drive like they would on any other day when they are running late not realizing that the same thing that happened to the snow on their car happened to the snow on the road. This in turn causes them to skid. Since skidding is not a normal driving condition they try to over-correct and slam on the brakes. Their car flips. Catches on fire and BAM! 12 car pile-up.

Good news, there is no longer any ice or snow around the melting car and driving conditions seem really great as you inch by. Bad news, everyone in those 12 cars is either dead or slowing dying from flames or exposure. The firetrucks and police officers will do everything in their power to save as many lives as they can but they will only be successful with a few. After it is all over and the cars have been cleaned off the road and the dead have been claimed by their families we will ask ourselves how it happened. We will tell everyone to be more cautious while driving in the snow but that is not what we should be saying. We should be telling everyone to get up half an hour early and make sure they have plenty of time to get to work.

So children we now know that if you are to avoid something as horrible as this situation you should think twice before you cut someone off on an icy road. That's right I am talking to you White Cadillac.

Breathe Right Now

2012-01-14T21:52:00.000-08:00

I have a nasal problem. I snore and when I snore it is noisy and annoying, or so I am told. So in the interest of relieving my fiance of my evil snoring demons we got some Breathe Right strips.

I was under the impression that these strips worked through some sort of magic. Like I was attaching small wizards to my nose every night. As if they stayed up all night and worked their spells to make my snoring go away. I know this is crazy but I really had no idea how they worked.

I then thought it was maybe some sort of drug but this was faulted as soon as I read the box. Then I thought it might be some sort of psychological phenomenon. Like the strip makes your mind think that it is better and you breathe better. This is crazier then the wizards but just as wrong.

Apparently the strips have small metal bands in them that want to stay straight. So when the strong adhesive sticks to your nose it forces those bands to pull your nasal cavity open. Therefore allowing for you to breathe normal and not snore.

So I am sad that there are no wizards involved but I think I will live knowing that I can breathe right and no longer snore.

Why Skyrim Is Better Than America

2012-01-12T20:36:00.000-08:00

Recently the Governor of Washington introduced a bill into the state legislature that would allow for gays and lesbians to finally get married. This is something that has been a long time coming and for a few reasons. Yet as soon as it was announced there were people proposing bills in the legislature that would define marriage as between a man and a woman. These people are idiots. I have every right to say that because it is an undeniable fact.

First let's talk about how Skyrim is better than America in this aspect. In Skyrim I just got married and it was a same-sex marriage. I did this mostly because he is a blacksmith and I can now get free weapons and armor not because I have an urge to marry a dude. I didn't have to jump through hoops to get him to marry me either. Neither did people think me a defiler of the sanctity of marriage. The people of Skyrim actually seemed overjoyed that we had finally found love together. So if a video game, based in a medieval world, can allow same-sex marriage why can't America?

The idiots make and argument that marriage is between a man and a woman because the bible says so. The people who want same-sex marriage say this is a blatant violation of separation of church and state but I think the matter is so much deeper then that. This is not an issue of religious values dictating policy this is an issue of religious beliefs of some being foisted on the backs of the all. A major factor in the creation of America is the right for every person to believe in the religion of their choice. So by stating that we must make laws based on the bible would be in direct violation of that inalienable right that America is based on. So how do the opponents of gay marriage not see this?

They say that this will lead to things like polygamy and marriage to animals. Yet marriage is a union between two people. Why would we ever let someone marry their dog or cat. Animals are seen as property and therefore marrying your dog or cat would be like marrying your television. They could also argue that it could lead to the marriage of adults to children. This is something we would never allow. Children are the most protected class of citizen and there is no way anyone would ever think it okay to propose a law to allow lecherous old men to marry little 10 year old girls. If some guy did that he would be shot on site.

So let's recap. Skyrim allows same-sex marriage without all the hassle and discrimination. It has nothing to do with separation of church and state and is all about religious freedom. Lastly we will never allow someone the right to marry their television so why allow them the right to marry their dog.

My Apologies

2012-01-09T22:56:00.000-08:00

I was going to write something but I am busy ruining my social life by playing Skyrim. I probably could have just had this as a status update but then I wouldn't be able to waste your time by making you click on the link.

How I Know I Have Been Playing Skyrim To Long

2012-01-08T21:25:00.000-08:00

I apologize for not updating as often and for completely neglecting the second half of 1986 in our billboard countdown. If you want to know the ending of the countdown, Google it. The reason I have been neglecting my blog, my friends, my family, and work is simple and the title says it all. I have been playing Skyrim. I have played roughly 60 hours and have still yet to fight a dragon and be pronounced the Dragonborn. I mean I have had the quest on my quest log for a long time and keep telling myself I will get to it as soon as the list is dwindled down just a little more. So in the interest of full-disclosure I have compiled a list of the reasons I know I have been playing the game just a little too long.

#1 - Sneaking and Stealing

Every time I want to do something not so appropriate I feel the urge to crouch and walk very slowly towards my objective. I know from playing Skyrim that all one needs to do is crouch, move slowly, and not let anyone see you and you can pickpocket someone, or steal their clothes, food, weapons, money, books, scrolls, and everything else in their house and then just walk out the front door. As long as they don't catch me in the act I can carry everything in their house to the nearest Thieves Guild shop and sell it all and they will be none the wiser.

#2 - Learning

Hermione had it right, reading will teach you all the secrets to magic, and life. I now know that all I need to do is read a book and my skill level will improve. If that doesn't work I can just pay someone to improve my skills for me. I mean I could go and do those things to get better at it but that would require taking time out of my busy schedule of stabbing draugr and shooting bandits with arrows to mix potions and craft new weapons.

#3 - Commerce

I should be able to go into any store at the mall and sell my cups, wooden plates, cabbage, apples, potatoes, Sabre Cat eyes, Mammoth Tusks, and Fire Salts. I want to be able to take whatever I find in the world and sell it at my nearest Fred Meyer. Is that too much to ask?

#4 - Quests

I now view every task in my every day life as a side-quest to the main story line. I have an objective, find something to eat. After achieving my objective I am given another task to perform until I am rewarded with gold from the quest giver. Although for some reason when I go to Red Robin to achieve my side quest, Eat Dinner, I am rewarded with my gold being taken by the evil serving wench. This quest sucks and must be performed on a daily basis or I lose health and can't regenerate until I finish it.

#5 - Conversations

I now expect a dialogue box to pop up when I am in a conversation with someone with all the options for things I can ask them. This has not happened yet so I am at a loss for words when I talk to people because there is not some all powerful being making the decisions for me.

In all seriousness though I have spent enough time telling you about how I am viewing the world through Skyrim-colored glasses as of late and not enough time playing Skyrim. I bid you all ado and hope you understand where I am coming from and going to. I hope you can all see the wonders of Skyrim's snow covered mountaintops and hope it doesn't take over as much of your life as it has mine. Unless that is what you are looking for.

Why 1986 Was The Greatest Year: The Second Quarter

2012-01-04T13:48:00.000-08:00

I bring you our second set of songs. I hope you enjoy as much as I did.

April 13 - 26
Prince - Kiss

I apologize that this is not the actual video. Prince is a mean guy sometimes.

April 27 - May 3

Robert Palmer - Addicted To Love

May 4 - 10

Pet Shop Boys - West End Girls

May 11 - 31

Whitney Houston - Greatest Love Of All

June 1 - 7

Madonna - Live To Tell

June 8 - 28 (This is the #1 from the week I was born)

Patti LaBelle & Michael McDonald - On My Own

June 29 - July 5

Billy Ocean - There'll Be Sad Songs (To Make You Cry)

I apologize for the late-night CD order commercial, best video I found.

I hope you enjoy the second set of songs. Whitney Houston seems to have had a very good 1986. She had two number one songs on the charts for multiple weeks. Please remember to vote for your round one favorites and come back later today to vote for your round two favorites.

Why 1986 Was The Greatest Year: The First Quarter

2012-01-04T00:14:00.000-08:00

On Facebook I have seen one of those find this and re post here for all your friends to see things. It goes a little something like this:
1) Find out the song that was #1 the week you were born.
2) Find that Song on YouTube.
3) Post the video on your wall without shame.
I understand that having Patti LaBelle's On My Own on my Facebook page would look weird and people might ask questions. That is they might ask questions if I just posted the video and nothing about the challenge. That makes it completely shameless because you have no control over the song that was number one the week you were born. So in complete shame fashion I have decided to post all the videos from 1986 here on my blog. The good, the bad, the terrible, and the guilty pleasures. I hope you enjoy.

January 1 - 11
Lionel Richie - Say You, Say Me

January 12 - February 8

Dionne Warwick and Friends - That's What Friends Are For

February 9 - 22

Whitney Houston - How Will I Know

February 23 - March 8

Mr. Mister - Kyrie

March 9 - 15

Starship - Sara

March 16 - 22

Heart - These Dreams

March 23 - April 12

Falco - Rock Me Amadeus

That is the first quarter of the year. Tomorrow we will get to the second quarter. I can tell you now that the second quarter is going to end on a sad note but the third quarter will give us a few awesome surprises and then we wind up the year with a very eclectic fourth quarter. I know I can't keep the billboard charts secret from you but oh well. Vote on the poll for your favorite song from the first quarter of 1986 and maybe we can have a little January Madness. The top 2 songs from each quarter will go on to the semi-finals.

I was sad to see that Heat Of The Moment by Asia was not on the top songs of 1986.

Things I Learned in 2011

2012-01-02T12:54:00.000-08:00

I wasn't going to write a reflection of 2011 as I thought it would be old news by the time 2012 rolled around but I figured I should share some of the wisdom I have learned over the last 12 months with my readers. I can't let you go out into this new year without some sort of understanding of how it works. Especially since the end is coming soon and we should live it up while we have the opportunity.

1 - Any movie can be re-written as Die Hard.

2 - It is harder to become a cop then Police Academy would have us believe.

3 - People still want to see Tom Cruise movies, I think it has something to do with their fear that he will find a way into their homes at night and convert them to Scientology. Tom is much like a vampire folks you must invite him in.

4 - Children's clothes are sized in odd ways and it makes me want to clothe my children in burlap until they are teenagers so as to avoid the confusion.

5 - Skyrim really is as awesome as everybody said.

6 - Never go out of your way to go to the Cheesecake Factory as you will wind up going to a restaurant that is nothing like the Cheesecake Factory to avoid the wait and realize later you didn't have to drive the 26 miles to have dinner.

7 - I think Bobby is dead. Not cool Supernatural.

8 - Zooey Deschenal is funny, cute, and annoying all at the same time.

9 - Moving sucks.

10 - Harry Potter "8" was a big disappointment.

11 - People are afraid to face the apocalyptic visions of the future unless safely tucked away in their beds at home.

12 - I still can't figure out why the weapons in Dead Rising deteriorate so fast. I want to keep the sledgehammer the whole time.

13 - I think people may be ready to move past zombies and leave my horror movie monsters to me and me alone. 2012 will be the year of the werewolf.

14 - Kids really don't like t-shirts as much as we thought.

15 - Apathy is the best medicine for a messed up system.

16 - 3D movies may actually just be a gimmick that the land of Hollywood may start using less often.

17 - Where the bodies are kept.

18 - That television critics really don't know what they are talking about.

19 - Neither do television producers.

20 - The only thing that can cure a case of the Monday's is Electric Light Orchestra.

Happy New Year folks and I hope to bring you more fun and humor over the next 12 months, at least until the world ends.

Holiday Hiatus

2011-12-24T17:15:00.001-08:00

I am feeling less then jolly this yuletide season. Enjoy a break from my ridiculous ramblings until the new year.

Saturday

Reasons I Think Music Has Been Dead For Awhile

2011-12-22T21:43:00.000-08:00

This is not the songs that ruined music. No these are songs that were so great they defined what music should be. Songs that will forever inspire generations to wish they had lived in such a harmonious time. Little known fact, 3 of these songs when played back-to-back simultaneously around the world can potentially create world peace. I have done my research and I know what I am talking about.

Africa by Toto

This song brings happiness to the faces of all the little children. You know why? Passion! This song is all about being passionate about something. What that something is we might never know but it is full of passion for it.

Under Pressure by Queen feat. David Bowie

This one tells it like it is. It brings what we all know about our everyday lives and gives it a catchy upbeat feel. This song can be felt on every corner of the globe and in any language.

#4 Don't Stop Believing by Journey

This one tells it like it is. It brings what we all know about our everyday lives and gives it a catchy upbeat feel. This song can be felt on every corner of the globe and in any language.

Don't Stop Believing by Journey

I don't particularly like Journey. I think they are mediocre musicians with not all that much talent but I will admit that this song brings something to the table. This song is so universal that just mentioning that you don't think Journey is all that great as a band is a way to get your head almost ripped off by a horde of angry villagers a la Frankenstein's Monster.

More Than A Feeling by Boston

It really is more than a feeling to just shut your eyes and think about the good times and sometimes even the bad times. An easy get away that is as close as the earbuds on your iPod.

Mr. Roboto by STYX

This song just sounds like a fun song about a robot that is part man but the back story for this song and what it did to the band STYX is amazing. Plus a song about a future where rock and roll is illegal represents a nightmare I am sure we have all had at one point in our lives.

Baba O'Riley by The Who

Contrary to popular belief this song is not called Teenage Wasteland. In fact the naming of this song is part of the reason we know it is one of the worlds greatest songs ever.

The Final Countdown by Europe

Must I explain this? It's the final fucking countdown.

Eye Of The Tiger by Survivor

If you were to make a movie tomorrow and that movie had a montage of someone training for something or working hard to achieve some goal you would use this song. If you were training for a marathon and wanted a song to give you a not so gentle push, this would be it.

All Along The Watchtower by Bob Dylan

I much prefer this version to the Jimi Hendrix version. Mostly because I don't really like Jimi Hendrix. All dislike of my musical tastes aside you have to admit this song makes you think just maybe you are a Cylon in human clothing.

Here I Go Again by Whitesnake

After watching this video, need I say more?

I have to stop now because I think this post will blow up your computers due to all of the videos. I didn't post yesterday because I was busy getting all these videos together. If you can think of something I may have forgotten. Or you wish to disagree with me. Please leave your comments below.

Thursday.

Just Another Tuesday

2011-12-20T20:58:00.000-08:00

And for your listening pleasure. Sister Christian by Night Ranger.

Sing it with me now... Motoring!

Choose Your Own Apocalypse

2011-12-20T00:26:00.000-08:00

We had a discussion the other night about what the end of the world would be like. I of course wanted to know if that meant just the end of the human race, the end of life as we know it, or the end of the planet. I am going to assume that in the event of an apocalypse that most of human life on the planet will be destroyed. I don't like the idea of a post-apocalyptic world without a world (wouldn't make things like Fallout nearly as fun). So for your pleasure I have compiled a list, with explanations, of all the apocalyptic events I can think of.

Zombpocalypse
This is my favorite, and at times least favorite, of the events that could cause the end of the world. The problem with zompocalypse is the fact that we are ready for it. Yeah it would be hard to kill a zombie if it looked like somebody I loved and cared for but we know what happens if we don't take care of it. I give this a 7 on the likelihood scale and a 2 on the life afterward scale.

Robopocalypse
This one has the most potential as a scary world to live in afterward. Zombies are scary but robots are artificial and man-made. Think of the robopocalypse as the civil war but the south is all robots and they have bigger guns, soldiers that never sleep, and the ability to withstand a lot of enemy fire. I mean Terminator was almost prophetic in it's depiction of the future after robots rise up to destroy their human overlords. I give this a 9.8 for likelihood and a 10 for life afterward.

The Second Coming
This one is the most upsetting to me as the story differs as to how the rapture really works. I believe, for the sake of making it more apocalyptic, that people will be sucked out of their everyday lives into the kingdom of heaven. As this will most likely not happen to me I can say that this one might not affect me at all. That is unless I am on the highway or in an airplane, somewhere dependent on others for my continued survival, when it happens. I give this a 1 on the likelihood scale, mostly because I don't believe in the whole heaven thing, and a 1 on the life afterward scale because we want the worlds population to go down and this would do a damn fine job of that.

Nuclear War
Nuclear war sucks donkey balls. Radiation leaking into the soil and water causing mutations and sterilization does not sound like a fun Sunday afternoon with the kids. Yet how much of the world will really be affected by nuclear war, probably 40% of the livable land and we still have 60% livable land plus 70% of the planet is water and who is to say that all the missiles will hit land. Yeah we will lose a lot of lives, but these are apocalyptic events not county fairs people. I give this a 6 on the likelihood scale, as most nations would think twice before starting a nuclear war in this day and age, and an 8 on the life afterward scale, I am not ready to grow a fourth leg just yet.

Alien Invasion (AKA Independence Day)
Aliens must be out there. I do not believe that life can only be made in certain circumstances. I also don't think that aliens look anything like humans. The only reason we depict them as human is because we couldn't make monster movies in the old days without someone in a suit. If asked to describe an alien I would not be able to come up with something alien enough because everything I know is based on Earth fact. Who says some alien race can't live on super heated planets, breath in space, breath underwater (fish do it), breath some gas deadly to humans. I also think aliens have better things to do with their time then hang out abducting humans and performing tests on them. I also think that maybe we will never know. Likelihood of alien invasion 4 (although I wish I could make it higher) and 7 on the life afterward scale (can you imagine how mind blowing and mentally debilitating it would be to discover that aliens were real and had nothing better to do then destroy our planet).

Ecological Disaster
This is the one that Al Gore and most liberal, left-wing, democrats would have you believe is just around the corner. I think this argument is a moot point. The planet is a very resilient beast and proves to us every year when spring arrives that it knows how to bide it's time. The plants may die and the planet may get hot but something will survive, it always does, and when it is ready it will come back with a vengeance. I give this an 8 on the likelihood scale because it has happened before and we are not helping and a 10 on the life afterward scale (have you ever tried to live in a desolate wasteland devoid of plants and animals, didn't think so).

Armageddon
I know what you are thinking by that title, isn't Armageddon just another word for apocalypse. The answer is yes but I don't mean the word I mean the movie starring Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck, and Liv Tyler. There is a very real chance that somewhere out there is an asteroid with Earth's name on it. Space is a huge place and I don't doubt that this is the way the world ends. I give this a 10 for likelihood and a 10 for afterward (if the dinosaurs couldn't survive it then how the hell are we supposed to).

Black Hole
This one sucks. I give it a 10 and 10 as I have no idea how black holes work but I am pretty sure there would be no way we were coming out the other side just a little dazed and confused.

Ice Age
This one could happen but technically speaking we are coming out of an ice age (earth years run a lot slower then human years)and so we would actually need to heat up prior to freezing again... This sounds familiar. I give this a 10 on the likelihood scale as it has happened numerous times before on Earth but only a 2 on the life afterward scale. Seriously if explorers could survive in the arctic for months at a time with their unsophisticated technology we should be able to survive for eons with a couple of nice jackets from REI.

Ragnorak
I do believe that the battle between the Gods would be something epic to behold. The deaths of such heavyweights as Odin, Thor, Fenrir, and Loki only makes it that much more epic. Then we spend some time in Waterworld (I think I subconsciously have a thing for Kevin Costner) and then the planet will be repopulated by two human survivors... wait only two? Who gets to be the two? Do we draw straws for it? I think this one might suck the most. I give this one an 11 on the likelihood scale because it is just to fantastic to actually be possibly and a 0/10 on the life afterward scale because if I was not one of the two then my life afterward would be pointless but if I was one of the two then my life would rock afterward. I mean it would be down to me to have sex to save the human race. I would be the father to all humankind.

I think that should do it for now. Did I miss one? Would you like to rate them yourselves?

Monday

Lazy Sunday: Agents of Secret Stuff

2011-12-18T16:53:00.000-08:00

I strongly encourage you to spend the next 35 minutes watching this short YouTube film. Great production value and pretty funny.

Enjoy.

Sunday.

Sequels For Christ

2011-12-17T23:46:00.000-08:00

I have been searching the Internet all day looking for the best new sequels to hit theaters this coming year.

The Shawshank Redemption 2: Return To Shawshank
Andy Dufresne returns to Shawshank after a harrowing boat chase that results in the death of Red. So now he must work even harder to escape and hunt down the officials who killed Red.

Hospital Bed
After all the internal injuries suffered over the course of their time in Fight Club the men must spend this movie fighting the bureaucrats of the hospital as they recover from their injuries.

8ight
The detectives spend the entirety of this film in the courtroom as they prosecute John Doe. As well Detective Mills must come to terms with the death of his wife all while trying to get him convicted.

WALL-F
WALL-E spends his days helping the humans rebuild Earth all while EVE and him welcome their first child WALL-F.

Some Like It Cold
The guys, Joe and Jerry, spend their time waiting to be called as witnesses in the case against the mob. While not in the courthouse they must stay in their small apartment under guard and dressing up like women to pass the time.

The Deer Butcher
Steven and Nick spend their days in a Veterans Hospital dealing with PTSD and wishing their friend Michael was still with them.

The Day After Groundhog Day
This follows Phil as he relives the day after Groundhog Day over and over again trying to make the right decisions. This could actually lead to a bunch of movies where Phil has to re-live days over and over again until he makes the right choices.

Cat Nap Night
Sonny sits in a jail cell mourning the loss of Sal and his freedom.

Dial N For Noose
The ex-tennis pro plots out a way to kill himself in prison.

Truman's Life
We follow Truman Burbank as he deals with everyday life in the real world. As well he is inundated with request after request to star in reality TV shows but turns them down. So many offers in fact that he snaps and starts a fanatic campaign against television producers/networks to ban all reality television.

I can't wait for these movies to come out...

Saturday.

Linear vs. Non-Linear Game Play

2011-12-17T00:56:00.000-08:00

My name is Nick and I am a Gamer. I guess you would classify me as a casual to intermediate gamer. I enjoy a good game just as much as the next guy. It all started with Super Mario and progressed from there. I played the old-school Mario, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Paperboy. I liked video games. I remember getting our Super Nintendo when I was in the 3rd grade. That thing rocked. We played Super Mario World, Super Mario All-Stars, The Lion King (one of the hardest games I have ever played, to this day I still haven't beaten it), Super Star Wars, and a million others. I would say that I was a very casual gamer until I got my Playstation and started playing Final Fantasy VII.

I was in love with a game and I wanted more. I started grabbing every RPG I could find. I played Final Fantasy, Wild Arms, Legend of Legaia, Lunar: Silver Star Story, and so many more. My love expanded and I had to have more of the RPG. I got a Playstation 2 and ate up games like Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy X. I stand behind games like Legaia to this day for being great games with engrossing stories, imaginative game play, and hours of it. This love of RPG's has caused me some grief in the recent years. For some reason I can't feel the same way about games like Fallout 3 and Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion.

Let's take Final Fantasy VII (arguably the best game ever to grace video gaming systems, and I do mean ever) versus Fallout: New Vegas. Both of these games have an engaging story that keeps you wanting for more but here is the problem with Fallout, sometimes you get lost in the non-linear game play. You find yourself performing side quest after side quest that you forget there is an actual story to be finished. I literally played for 18 hours before getting much farther in the main story line then being sent out to talk to Benny, the guy who shoots you at the beginning. Whereas in FFVII at 18 hours you were fully immersed in the story, most likely starting the second disc, and well on your way to saving the world from Sephiroth and Jenova. Sure they had side quests but the game could be fully realized without doing any of them.

See the problem with open world games is that you need to perform side missions if you want to feel as if you have really completed the game. I have not had the pleasure of playing Skyrim yet (and until it sells for somewhere closer to $20 I won't) and when I do I know I will feel like a puny human to it's awesome man crushing strength, breadth, and depth. Lately I have been playing more of Fallout 3 and I have only progressed so far and mostly by accident. Why does it have to take me 300+ hours to finish a game?

Many have complained that Final Fantasy XIII was to linear, and I don't disagree. Yet why is it so bad to have a game that can be fully realized without 400+ side quests. Back in the day you had mini-games and the occasional run and fetch quest but nothing as daunting or time consuming as some of the quests I have had to go on in Fallout. Why must there be so many side quests? One side quest wants you to do A without messing with B, but if you do A and don't mess with B you lose the opportunity to try C and D. So now you have to find E and F and not be able to accomplish G and H. Yet if you do E and F before A and B then you can still do C and D. Yet there is no way of knowing this until you do it. When will it end?

I just want to play my RPG and kill the final boss. That is something else I miss, boss battles. That is another side quest I might never get to.

Friday (with a little bit of Saturday thrown in).

United States Postal Service: The Apocalypse

2011-12-15T19:51:00.000-08:00

Last week we learned that the USPS was going to be dropping Saturday service and get rid of all next-day mail. My only real problem with this comes form the fact that UPS and FedEx suck balls when it comes to delivering stuff.

Sure FedEx and UPS deliver right to your door and make can do it just as efficiently as the postal service. Yet the USPS can drop it off in your mailbox so you don't have to sit around all day waiting for the delivery guy. Plus until this coming spring you were able to get packages, letters, and fun junk mail even on Saturday, a service that FedEx and UPS only offer at extra cost. So then you have to ask yourself but the postal service is leaking money from the taxpayers and we shouldn't have to put up with that in this economy.

WRONG! The USPS is an independent organization that does not receive any taxpayer money, unless you count the money you spend on stamps. They must make all of their money from the sell of PO Boxes, stamps, packages, and all that other stuff they ask you about when you mail something. I know that you are also thinking that it is just cheaper to use UPS or FEDEx as they will pick it up from you and they have such good rates on boxes.

WRONG AGAIN! The USPS has a thing called a Flat-Rate Box that allows you to put as much stuff inside as will fit for one low cost. Yet UPS and FedEx require that you pay per pound and they will rarely take a letter that is not in one of their special envelope boxes. So a letter sent to your grandma at Christmas time would only cost you 44 cents at the post office (even less if you bought your forever stamps a couple of years ago) and it would cost about $20 at UPS for the same thing. As well the USPS allows you to print your label, pay for it, and get it picked up at your house. But isn't it unsafe to let your letters just sit in your mailbox until you get home in the evening.

WRONG A THIRD TIME! See not even UPS and FedEx can put stuff in your mailbox. It is even illegal for someone else to open your mailbox unless they are a representative of the postal service. That's the magic of a mailbox. A mailbox is not something that the post office gives you when you move into your new house you can go to Lowe's and buy a new one for $20. There is no special ceremony for getting it into the ground. No mailman shows up to christen the mailbox when it gets placed. You put it up, you make sure your address, and sometimes name, is on it and voila you are ready to receive mail.

So in conclusion the Postal Service can pick up packages from your house, they don't "waste" taxpayers money, and it is cheaper. Maybe the USPS should be charging more for letters and packages so as to make the money they need to deliver mail 6 days a week (something that FedEx and UPS only do if you pay extra). We need the post office and I encourage you to use it to your advantage.

Thursday.

Lazy Wednesday...

2011-12-14T23:46:00.000-08:00

I have been working a lot the last few days and feel less then inspired right now. So I give you what I would have given you yesterday had I the time.

If only we could live Tuesday over and over again.

Wednesday (If only it had been Tuesday).

Holy Cold Shower Batman!

2011-12-12T20:58:00.000-08:00

I stayed up late last night playing Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. I was impressed with the game. A few flaws that I can get over (mainly no radar for enemies) but it was a worthwhile time and I am happy I did it. I didn't regret it for an instant. I snuggled into bed at 3am without a worry in the world. I had a plan to wake up at 10, take a shower, and maybe watch some TV (or play more Oblivion) then go to work by 1. I mean it was a well planned day. Play for 3 hours, work for 5 and a half and then come home and play for a few more. Little did I know that this morning would be the most disgusting morning of my life.

This is a lot coming from a guy who has picked up whole turds from toilet seats and bloated goats off the beach. I have scrapped rotting raccoon off of a log. My first day of work at camp I was sent to clean up the Rat Room. It is called the Rat Room because rats live there. In this case 7 of them had been poisoned and died and rotted on the concrete floor. I have grabbed chunks of diaper out of a dryer because someone forgot to remove it from the sleeping bag before washing it. So I can say without a doubt that this morning was the most disgusting thing I have ever dealt with.

I was first woken up around 5:30am by my fiance telling me that Stella, our dog, had eaten all the cookies she had made for her schools cookie exchange. I thought nothing of it and went back to sleep. Back into an innocent slumber. When I finally got up around 10am and went straight for the bathroom. A man needs to pee after waking up and I was excited for some breakfast. I did my business and walked back into the living room and noticed that the dog was just lying on the ground. Next to the dog was the grossest mess of dog vomit I have ever seen.

See the dog had eaten ALL of the cookies. I didn't realize in my sleepy haze at 5:30 that all of the cookies meant 109 cookies. I don't know if you know this but a dog can eat 109 cookies and feel fine for a while. A dog can even eat 109 chewy chocolate cappuccino cookies and feel fine for a while. It is when that dog decides to eat their breakfast that things start to not work right. I mean long story short our couch will no longer be the same for me. Neither will our shower as it had to be used for some of the cleaning process.

See the problem isn't that I had to clean up dog vomit. That was gross but doable. The problem actually came when I needed to take a shower for work. I had used it to rinse some things out (it had to be done) and I had to wash it out prior to the taking of the shower. The problem came when 2 minutes into my shower the hot water started to sputter out until I was sitting in an almost lukewarm shower without having washed anything but my face.

So you see the problem is not the dog vomit. I am actually exaggerating the ordeal to epic proportions. The whole thing stems from me wanting to take a normal hot shower to wash the gross off of myself and I was denied. I just want a nice hot shower.

Monday.

Lazy Sunday: I Just Had Sex

2011-12-11T22:19:00.000-08:00

I felt that since Pierce County wasn't happy with my use of the 'F' word I should go for broke.

Please enjoy.

Sunday.