tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991Mon, 02 Mar 2009 09:45:03 +0000You Have Arrived At Your Destinationhttp://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)Blogger38125http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/http://creativecommons.org/images/public/somerights20.gifFreshPickedCrazinesshttp://feedburner.google.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991.post-7271333371446472003Thu, 02 Oct 2008 12:00:00 +00002008-10-02T08:00:00.719-04:00Child 4 - Age 9.75 - FemaleFunnyWell, I was glad to learn that our 10 year old daughter has our's and her life all figured out for the future. After stopping at the liquor store tonight and dropping that teeny bottle of blueberry vodka in my ginger-ale (in the passenger seat, in case you were worried), she then yapped like her mother and informed of us important details of our future. First, we are old and wrinkly. Nice kid. http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~3/fPS9wdtxE2Y/when-we-grow-old.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)0<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~4/fPS9wdtxE2Y" height="1" width="1"/>http://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/2008/10/when-we-grow-old.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991.post-8283635539875788036Thu, 10 Jul 2008 12:00:00 +00002008-12-10T00:30:03.803-05:00Found Around the InternetDamn DogsFunnyWatch your vicious Dauchshounds people. Fri Jul 4, 12:35 AM ET Courtesy of AP ALTON, Ill. - An Illinois woman says her beloved miniature dachshund gnawed off her right big toe while she was asleep. Linda Floyd told the Alton Telegraph for a story Wednesday that her beloved Roscoe was euthanized because of safety concerns. (What the hell...put the dog to sleep for eating off a numb toe and now shehttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~3/KkiwVfP7x0c/take-nap-lose-toe.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)3<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~4/KkiwVfP7x0c" height="1" width="1"/>http://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/2008/07/take-nap-lose-toe.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991.post-2729977181760654472Tue, 08 Jul 2008 12:00:00 +00002008-07-08T08:00:00.544-04:00Found Around the InternetFunnyHave you been to Yahoo Answers yet? My advice, don't. You will get addicted and probably stop blogging. Some people post questions just for attention *yawn*. Some people give really bad advice. Here are some of the recent questions and what *I* would have answered.Q - Hwo do i make my haircolor darker without die? My haircolor now is a darkish brown with thick blonde highlights, and is up tohttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~3/HaxxOVSVYHI/yahoo-answers-my-chance-to-act-smart.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)1<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~4/HaxxOVSVYHI" height="1" width="1"/>http://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/2008/07/yahoo-answers-my-chance-to-act-smart.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991.post-2446608542457738869Thu, 03 Jul 2008 12:00:00 +00002008-07-03T08:00:00.730-04:00OMG MomentsDefinate RantsOh no, this isn't a post about MY damn dog! It's a post about someone else's damn dog and the damn dogs sucky owners as parents. My mini-vacation weekend in May also included a greeting from Wilson - a bulldog with a vengence. That little SOB snarled and barked at any sound we made (I'm sorry - rephrase that, ALL THE TIME) and his owners basically said nothing about it 90% of the time. I took http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~3/t52EKx6Iq6E/wilson-damn-dog-on-vacation-sucky.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)1<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~4/t52EKx6Iq6E" height="1" width="1"/>http://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/2008/07/wilson-damn-dog-on-vacation-sucky.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991.post-3468367300231984080Tue, 01 Jul 2008 12:00:00 +00002008-07-01T08:00:00.349-04:00OMG MomentsDefinate RantsYou know what, I could have just died when I heard the answer to this on the beach in Lewes, DE (part of my mini-vacation in May). I looked back at husband with the camera who was shooting who knows what and pointing to what I wanted him to take a picture of, to no avail! Grrr....men! So here's how it went: 2? year old (no older) "Mama, can I pee in the water?" 30+ year old (should know http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~3/IAsEuiEaSJ4/mama-can-i-pee-in-water.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)0<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~4/IAsEuiEaSJ4" height="1" width="1"/>http://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/2008/07/mama-can-i-pee-in-water.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991.post-4113979597047856878Thu, 26 Jun 2008 12:00:00 +00002008-06-26T08:15:50.316-04:00OMG MomentsChild 1 - Age 18 - FemaleFunnyYou may think I'll write something about kids here...but no, this is for all of you adults out there who are sending your babies off to college and will soon attend the lovely orientations. While I thought I might stay with my daughter all day this time as was usually the case...noooo....I got to go on my own little adventure into the world of some very odd people - adult people. I know, I belonghttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~3/cv-q-Y4J2mA/what-not-to-wear-to-college-orientation.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)3<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~4/cv-q-Y4J2mA" height="1" width="1"/>http://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/2008/06/what-not-to-wear-to-college-orientation.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991.post-8608589000964429604Thu, 19 Jun 2008 12:00:00 +00002008-12-10T00:30:04.210-05:00I Must Be StupidFound Around the InternetLearn A New WordMiscellaneousAlright, I've got it on my blog and I know why it's there, but I have to say it is a pain in my ass rear end sometimes. It took me 8 tries to get this one right.........see if you can guess what it says. You won't get a thing if you're right.....well maybe a virtual high five! Woohoo! http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~3/vKVFKHkA20A/word-verification-bs.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)4<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~4/vKVFKHkA20A" height="1" width="1"/>http://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/2008/06/word-verification-bs.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991.post-1982373725767949963Tue, 17 Jun 2008 12:00:00 +00002008-06-26T09:26:45.202-04:00My EmailsDo you think I'm Stupid?FunnyYou know, I pray. I pray for lots of stuff and yes, I really believe in God! I don't know what he thinks about me, but from this email I just got, he must like me and also be listening to my prayers.1.969000 Million U.S. Dollars coming my way. Must be time for a bling bling blog now. Woohoo! http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~3/tVt6-H3CwKk/god-is-listening-i-knew-it.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)3<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~4/tVt6-H3CwKk" height="1" width="1"/>http://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/2008/06/god-is-listening-i-knew-it.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991.post-8967414075595111745Thu, 12 Jun 2008 12:00:00 +00002008-06-15T14:08:16.002-04:00Found Around the InternetFunnyseattle-tacoma > To the Drunk Hottie who fell off my motorcycle Originally Posted: Wed, 7 Nov 05:23 PST To the Drunk Hottie who fell off my motorcycle -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: 2007-11-07, 5:23AM PST I met you at the bar last night, and we hit it off. Ya we were both a little buzzed, but you seemed as into me as I was into you. http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~3/NEXxHwbKQSw/riding-motorcycle-drunk-not-good-idea.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)3<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~4/NEXxHwbKQSw" height="1" width="1"/>http://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/2008/06/riding-motorcycle-drunk-not-good-idea.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991.post-4955350052669063249Tue, 10 Jun 2008 12:00:00 +00002008-12-10T00:30:04.553-05:00Selebrity SlamsFunnyMay 22, 2008Ok, remember this song from Loverboy? All you 80's ladies will (unless you were hiding under a rock somewhere). Now I liked the music, but a girlfriend at the time really LOVED Mike Reno. This was Mike Reno then: My friends, apparently Mike Reno was doing it his way ALOT at Burger King because this is him now:Now listen, I'm 38 and believe me, I too have been known to have it my http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~3/eVo4gTDExnU/i-gotta-do-it-my-way.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)2<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~4/eVo4gTDExnU" height="1" width="1"/>http://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/2008/06/i-gotta-do-it-my-way.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991.post-7806911087607533069Thu, 05 Jun 2008 12:00:00 +00002008-12-10T00:30:05.120-05:00Serious Ponderings (ie May Be Boring)Child 1 - Age 18 - FemaleJune 05, 2008Yes, our little fuzzhead will graduate tomorrow. I always figured I would be a happy camper when this moment came. My mother always said "Every kid is another 18 year jail sentence!" I thought I was really ready to be released from the cell even if it was only for a few hours (she ain't leaving home yet...soon). I'm finding though that really, I'm feeling a little sentimental. This http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~3/UskT_U1hMeY/she-graduates-tomorrow.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)2<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~4/UskT_U1hMeY" height="1" width="1"/>http://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/2008/06/she-graduates-tomorrow.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991.post-4043525904337553744Thu, 29 May 2008 12:00:00 +00002008-05-29T08:00:01.048-04:00Why Me MomentsChild 3 - Age 12.6 - MaleFunnyMay 29, 2008Really, did your parents ever say to you as a kid "I don't know about you sometimes" as they gave you a look that said you're a freak of nature "What is wrong with you?"I recently had this experience when our extremely strange and delusioned family went out to eat.Don't you just hate it when you start realizing you are saying the exact same things that your parents said. The same http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~3/4mXJAZUFvNU/everyone-must-try-this-trick.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)5<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~4/4mXJAZUFvNU" height="1" width="1"/>http://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/2008/05/everyone-must-try-this-trick.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991.post-1753372089074587251Tue, 27 May 2008 12:00:00 +00002008-12-10T00:30:06.177-05:00Found Around the InternetFunnyWell, maybe these have been around for a while....I've no clue.What I do know is that I couldn't resist the urge to throw in my creative juices, print them out and tape them around the house. What does my family think? Hey I don't care know, but if they don't get the message from these, then I give up!You can do your own with the link at the bottom.For That Time of the MonthFor the BathroomThink http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~3/JwnOUbC-Hzc/familydont-say-i-didnt-warn-you.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)1<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~4/JwnOUbC-Hzc" height="1" width="1"/>http://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/2008/05/familydont-say-i-didnt-warn-you.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991.post-1656679983542538440Thu, 22 May 2008 12:00:00 +00002008-12-10T00:30:06.280-05:00OMG MomentsChild 4 - Age 9.75 - FemaleFunnyMay 27, 2008Enter 9 year old daughter.Enter 8 month old pup."Diesel" she begins. "You've got big balls."My lower jaw almost detached from my head fell in disbelief.Where on earth did she learn that word from?I know it wasn't me and am denying it was that AC/DC cd I played in the car the other day...but we've got the biggest...er uhm..oops sorry, got distracted there. In all probability it was http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~3/vf1j_COQ1TQ/she-did-not-just-say-that.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)0<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~4/vf1j_COQ1TQ" height="1" width="1"/>http://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/2008/05/she-did-not-just-say-that.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991.post-2105051412596606641Wed, 21 May 2008 13:31:00 +00002008-12-10T00:30:08.067-05:00OMG MomentsMy DrawingsFunnyWell....yesterday was eventful! I had an appointment and on the way, had to pee real bad so Walmart seemed to be right there and I stopped on in doing the pee-pee dance all the way to the restroom. I could kick myself now for not having the brains to turn on my phone camera because what I'm about to tell you was almost one of those "had to be there" moments, but I'm gonna try. This is Walmart http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~3/03_CQ_dovKI/wedged-at-walmart-true-story-in.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)10<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~4/03_CQ_dovKI" height="1" width="1"/>http://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/2008/05/wedged-at-walmart-true-story-in.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991.post-8591608925098802281Tue, 20 May 2008 12:00:00 +00002008-12-10T00:30:26.783-05:00Why Me MomentsChild 2 - Age 17 - FemaleFunnyMay 20, 2008This is for all the mothers who have little daughters that will someday go through major PMS among other things to the prom. Now I know, when you look at this - it is very beautiful, but let me tell you a tale of almost hanging her by the back string of this beautiful crosstype back dress. My advice, don't do it! If you even see a gown like this, run like the wind. Hide it beneath http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~3/sndG4W_FQ2E/mamas-beware-evil-prom-gown.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)3<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~4/sndG4W_FQ2E" height="1" width="1"/>http://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/2008/05/mamas-beware-evil-prom-gown.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991.post-3335903992472648074Mon, 19 May 2008 16:03:00 +00002008-12-10T00:30:27.544-05:00MiscellaneousDefinate RantsDoug over here had a bitch post today regarding people who don't wear shoes.Well, let me tell ya, I rarely have shoes on except when I go somewhere and no, I don't need a sign to tell me to wear shoes or I'm not getting served. Doug would like to read this post and get really get grossed out. No shoes in a store, well that's a little different I suppose - obviously, nobody wants someones foot http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~3/JgKq93rGK1c/no-shoes-how-about-no-gut.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)4<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~4/JgKq93rGK1c" height="1" width="1"/>http://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/2008/05/no-shoes-how-about-no-gut.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991.post-6743561172499882603Mon, 19 May 2008 04:05:00 +00002008-12-10T00:30:27.687-05:00MiscellaneousFunnyto enjoy a purchase as soon as you get out of the store and into your vehicle. Case in point: on a recent vacation trip to Best Buy I purchased a new camera because the damn dog ate my other one and one memory card since they were too cheap to include one. Now realize, I've already had to stand in line like a cow in a herd and listen to the OMG teen speak delightful conversation behind me until http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~3/9gt5OqimoBA/why-does-it-have-to-be-so-difficult.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)5<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~4/9gt5OqimoBA" height="1" width="1"/>http://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/2008/05/why-does-it-have-to-be-so-difficult.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991.post-6251385483219884256Fri, 16 May 2008 17:19:00 +00002008-12-10T00:30:29.065-05:00My DrawingsThe Husband and MeFunnyMay 16, 2008 I don't know why it is that every time husband and I feel like we may be able to tap dat have some alone time together, at least one of the brats angels interupts. It doesn't matter if it is 10:30 at night or 4:00 in the morning, and I am not kidding when I say every time. Besides the example below, other instances would include: -they suddenly remember at just that moment they've http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~3/vH1zH5mvgAY/sex-and-childrens-radar-systems.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)7<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~4/vH1zH5mvgAY" height="1" width="1"/>http://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/2008/05/sex-and-childrens-radar-systems.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991.post-9125149704629409602Fri, 16 May 2008 11:50:00 +00002008-12-10T00:30:29.252-05:00Why Me MomentsDamn DogsFunnyMay 16, 2008 Is there anything worse than stepping in dog s**t? I have an answer, but it will have to wait just a minute while I explain another phenomenon to you.I've had a blog before. It sucked. I deleted it. Before I deleted it, I stepped in what? Yes, yes - of course. Dog s**t. (you didn't have to look back at the title to guess this I hope.) No, I didn't delete it because of the shoehttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~3/SbAWsoviCPY/tiptoe-through-dogst.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)4<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~4/SbAWsoviCPY" height="1" width="1"/>http://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/2008/05/tiptoe-through-dogst.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991.post-1274000881162639841Thu, 15 May 2008 22:19:00 +00002008-12-10T00:30:29.993-05:00Found Around the InternetMiscellaneous When you read this USA Today article about these Smart Cars, it states the following: "a recent surveyed showed that women are more attracted to men with fuel-efficient cars than men with sports cars." Let me just say this about that....give me a break! I mean, have you seen one of these up close and personal? I have and trust me, just like things in the mirror are closer than they appear, http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~3/Six6kTKid74/smart-carsthe-next-aphrodisiac.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)2<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~4/Six6kTKid74" height="1" width="1"/>http://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/2008/05/smart-carsthe-next-aphrodisiac.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991.post-5435011360066524224Thu, 15 May 2008 16:46:00 +00002008-05-16T21:08:38.871-04:00MiscellaneousFunnyI just submitted my blog to FuelMyBlog and supposedly now I get berated rated on the content.Please remember to be gentle as I am very angry and good at finding online people who rain on my parade sensitive.Rate at your own risk and realize that if I don't take my happy pills get good reviews, there is no telling what might happen.Who am I kidding - I will hunt you down and take humiliating http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~3/XwJY6D7KiV8/be-gentle-kind.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)2<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~4/XwJY6D7KiV8" height="1" width="1"/>http://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/2008/05/be-gentle-kind.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991.post-2725484207380200012Wed, 14 May 2008 23:01:00 +00002008-05-16T21:08:53.962-04:00Why Me MomentsChild 3 - Age 12.6 - MaleFunnyI got a call from my son's teacher....this is the teacher I aided in the mutilation of disection of the frog.In my entire parenting career, some 18 years!?!?, this is almost never a good thing. As a matter of fact, it usually ends up with me wanting to harm the child at the school wondering why they don't have cocktails ready to serve when you walk in "Who's child is this?"I listen intently.http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~3/LwNgcsrUwQ0/yesterday-was-good-day-until.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)4<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~4/LwNgcsrUwQ0" height="1" width="1"/>http://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/2008/05/yesterday-was-good-day-until.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991.post-2429054102016585235Wed, 14 May 2008 11:38:00 +00002008-05-16T21:09:48.927-04:00Serious Ponderings (ie May Be Boring)MiscellaneousBoy did I have the worst dream last night. Unfortunately, it was so awful that I'm not about to describe it here - sorry. What I will say is that it involved alot of death. I hate those types of dreams. In other news....my Happy Pills may be kicking in. Knock on wood! I don't even want to say it because I don't want to hex myself. Yesterday was a pretty good day for me. I didn't accomplish much http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~3/gdvWIrkR3oc/terrible-dreams-and-happy-pills.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)0<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~4/gdvWIrkR3oc" height="1" width="1"/>http://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/2008/05/terrible-dreams-and-happy-pills.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1356024007232828991.post-2260935856852411516Tue, 13 May 2008 12:39:00 +00002008-12-10T00:30:30.232-05:00Serious Ponderings (ie May Be Boring)The Husband and MeMiscellaneousYesterday, another lovely day in my life. Spring is my favorite time of year. I hardly even know it is occuring as things in my head take over any good thoughts I had about the warm sun and the gentle breezes of the season. I guess my husband felt like he had (as in was required by law) to do some cleaning around the house, but he was not happy about it. He was not asked to do it, and honestly, http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~3/_LMSXBTVmRU/whiteboard.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Amy J.)0<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreshPickedCraziness/~4/_LMSXBTVmRU" height="1" width="1"/>http://freshpickedcraziness.blogspot.com/2008/05/whiteboard.html