My husband has cirrhosis. It�s been about a year since he�s seen his doctor for various reasons (no insurance for a bit with job changes but honestly he�s avoiding it). He has had ascites before and they pulled almost 8 Liters from his stomach. That was about 3 or so years ago now. At his last appt a year ago his numbers were stable and he didn�t have ascites on his ultrasound but now I would honestly be SHOCKED if he didn�t. His legs and feet are swollen and I notice when he sits on the couch and crosses his ankles he�s left with a big indent. I�m worried about him. He won�t stop drinking. He drinks white claws like it�s water and the amount he thinks he�s hiding is probably somewhere between half a case and a case a day.

my question though� does anyone have any experience with them developing a deep cough? I took my kid on vacation for a week and when I came back he has this constant cough and I�m worried it might have something to do with his cirrhosis. I�m not asking for a diagnosis bc I know only a doctor can do that but has anyone experienced something similar? I thought it was interesting that his morning he commented he didn�t has any sinus congestion or anything but has this cough.

Kid got really sick and just wasn�t getting better. Over a week ago, I took her to a walk in clinic, they diagnosed an ear infection and gave meds.

A few days later she wasn�t feeling any better. I had to reach out to x to take her to the dr as I�m out of sick time at my job.

He wasn�t reading his messages via the court app, or his text messages, so I called him.

He took kid to the dr, was pleasant to work with through this, and we were able to navigate her illness without conflict.

Kid has mono, btw. Super sick and exhausted and she slept on my living room floor for a week. Her floor nest looked quite cozy. She has since returned to her room.

I can read x pretty well. We had a calm interaction and took care of kid. In my perspective, that�s that. I feel in his perspective, everything is fine and we can probably be best friends again!

His family has an annual Memorial Day party. His cousin and partner host it and cousin passed last year. He reached out to kid to attend and completely bypassed me. Kid and I worked out the details and I allowed her to go (I�m trying y�all to give her freedom of choice).

Day of party, still no communication from x. I had to ask kid to have him message me. He did, to my personal phone.

I asked him to please return to the court app.

I let kid go, taught her exit strategies, and told her I�m letting her go because I trust her and her judgment. She was back home in under an hour and told me all about her sister in law and cousin and how she stayed with them the whole time.

Anywho, my spidey senses tell me that x is operating from a place of everything is fine and back to the way it was! He�s fairly black and white while I�ve learned nuance and can hold two truths at once: he�s an awful alcoholic who helped with kid during an illness.

I have a suspicion that he will attempt to visit while I am recovering. Thus far, every suspicion I have had has turned out to be accurate. I�m not his friend, I don�t want him around me, and pain medication will inhibit my ability to temper my responses to him. Additionally he detests me in an ill state and has a lot of opinions about my not being able to tough it out.

Im not involving kid in this. I�m routing through my dad. We will have a �not up for guests!� rule to dissuade any potential visits.

If x really wants to be helpful, he can send food. Or weed my yard.

I hope I�m wrong and he doesn�t want to visit. My anxiety around his behavior is high right now.

I have a 51 yo son who has been in and out of recovery programs.
He is currently in a new facility after an alcohol binge that required hospitalization.

He contacted me this morning and wants meto take his debit card to buy and deliver some cigarettes. He also wants me to takecare of any thing that might come up.

I am TIRED of supporting him this way this time.

My Daughter his older sister says this is just another way of Enabling him

Thoughts Appreciated Thank You

I was cleaning out my phone and I came across this text from my alcoholic ex. Instead of clearly breaking up with me and arranging logistics respectfully, he became passive-aggressive and condescending. He sent me messages explaining basic social interaction to me like I was a child. We were talking about me getting my stuff from his place.

"Now, in the real world, when people make arrangements they say things like..."I need to do ____ by ___(date)...... and I'm available on (this) or (that) date and time, is either OK with you?" Now, if you want to stop by and get some of your stuff, ask me like I demonstrated for you above."

As you all know, kid and I have had our ups and downs through this divorce. She�s less angry with me these days, is vulnerable with her sadness and hurt, and has resumed her daily chats. She�s also quite ill right now but handling it well.

Her phone alarm was going off yesterday and she was sound asleep. I went to turn it off and decided to take a look through her phone.

It�s a violation of her privacy, I don�t usually look through her phone, but I did. And I only read the messages with her dad.

His messages were horrible about me, telling her to lie to see him, stating he doesn�t know what else to do to see her as he�s doing everything he can. No mention of being sober, of course. Many messages about how he needs to bow down to the Queen bee and cautioning her to �watch out� because I�m always watching her.

And then a ton of messages about how he misses her, she doesn�t talk to him anymore, he doesn�t know what she�s thinking anymore.

My kid sent him a message saying that she was uncomfortable lying to me, it would make things worse, and that she didn�t want to do that.

I about cried reading that! I am so dang proud of her for having the courage to tell him no and to operate from truth and integrity rather than get sucked into lying. She isn�t safe to tell him how she really feels yet she did it anyway!

His response to that is he�s so proud that she shares the virtue of truth like him! (I know, I know)

Typically reading this would make me rage, scream �I knew it!�, and spiral.

That�s not my response this time. I�m disgusted with what he was telling her but accept that is who he is and I cannot change anything about that. It actually helps me understand her anger toward me.

I�m full of hope for my kid. She is starting to make her own decisions, starting to stand up for what she believes in, and is able to make connections about words and actions herself.

Since I snooped, I won�t be talking with her about this. I will admire her courage and continue to support her. Perhaps this means my sobriety and recovery, my protecting our peace, my choosing to no longer live with an active addict is actually mitigating some of the harm.

Today, I have hope that my kid will continue to find her strength and her voice.

I'm 63 and there were the friend. That's an alcoholic. I hate him so much. I don't even consider him a friend any more. I clean this house of paper. My room rent because he doesn't want to take some of my social security. I don't get enough there even rent a room in New Jersey. I try talking to him. We fought about it. And I just told him, that's fine. I'm done with your drinking and I'm not dealing with it anymore. The only problem is. He still comes in my room when he's drunk and wants to go off. And I set boundaries and he breaks everyone because he says it's his house, I don't like it get out. I don't have nowhere to go to get out with my little dog.

So mad�. 😡

x just showed up, demanding kid. I knew he wanted to see kid but never answered the sobriety question. His typically word salad with no actual answer.

I went out to talk to him. He took his glasses off and said �Do I look sober?�

I answered honestly: told him I don�t know, I can�t tell anymore.

He refused to answer, called me names, told me I�m a horrible mother and drove away.

Went inside to find a sobbing kid. I told her he won�t answer the question and I don�t know what else to do.

She cried, we hugged, and I apologized. I can�t make this better for her but I wish I could.

I met with my surgeon from long, long ago. I haven�t seen him in 20+ years. He pretended to remember me � lol. I�m convinced he would only recognize me from my insides.

We had a good talk, I have to get some imaging done, and then it looks like we will head to surgery.

I was supposed to have this surgery 4 years ago but I got sick and cancelled. And x was busy traveling solo and had plans to be out of the country during my recovery. I was told it wasn�t a big deal and I was being a baby.

I�m certain that I will recover well without x. My dad and kid are good caregivers. I can prep stuff pre surgery.

Now just to work out the timing so I don�t have to miss work.

All doable things and the pain relief will be so worth it! And it will be lovely to not have a person who finds my pain and healing to be dramatic and boring.

This guy cannot understand basic things, look through his records to find information, and hounds me with his urgent, urgent requests.

He wants all the info for an asset we will split. I informed him I have given him all the information several times over. He replied that I�m a stand up human.

My therapist told me to just give him the info so that all is said and done and I don�t have to engage anymore.

Got another urgent request but this time for a non marital asset. I gave him, yet again, the information for the asset subject to division and reminded him, again, that the other was not subject to division.

Shall we take wagers as to whether he will be confused by this and how many times he will ask for the information again?

In what will be no surprise to anyone, he has not shared a plan for kids education nor asked to see kid.

His brain holes seem to be getting bigger and bigger.