http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWfGuwahq8k

I cannot send thank you notes written in the nicest of calligraphy to Spencer Hall for introducing “Lawyer Mike” to us all.  Keeper of the legal tenets of the great state of Tennessee by day, R&B crooner and owner of some of the swaggiest Florida Gator swag that has ever dared to swag by night…and on the weekend…praying with his son on the curb in the neighborhood.  I implore, nay, demand you go to his YouTube channel and watch every single one of his videos, and if you are so inclined, head to his website (Hey! William H. Macey!) and his Twitter.

Hate on him if you must, but I bet you don’t own anything as awesome as that leather vest, do you, Hatey McHaterson?

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Friends With Muscles: Starring John L. Smith as Treat Williams is brought to you by Friends of the Program - Sports and Culture...All Under the Table Of Course

This may be the best thing to come out of the whole Bobby Petrino fiasco (besides all of the photoshops, those were pretty fun), John L. Smith is now on Twitter.  Thats almost a shame really because I hate to limit a man of such colorful explanations to just 140 characters.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59yGzbQ-4KI

Your humble purveyor of this here site, Bunkie T. Perkins, Esquire is taking a couple of days off from general tomfoolery and jokes about Bobby Petrino’s current lot in life.  I’ll be in New York all weekend so hit me up on Twitter if you are in the area and so inclined to have a drink or 6 at some point over the weekend.  I’ll be back on Tuesday, but in the meantime, let Jim Breuer explain to you the fall of Guns n Roses in 5 minutes or less.

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For sale for a mid-major coaching job OBO

If you are in the market for a slightly used but still mechanically sound motorcycle that was really only driven on the weekends during extra-marital affairs that would eventually lead to you losing your multi-million dollar coaching job and becoming the butt of any number of motorcycle/sex jokes for a good month…then do I have a deal for you.  The motorcycle that Bobby Petrino and Jessica Dorrell wrecked outside of Fayetteville can now be yours for a modest bid (current bid is $2,550) .  The listing indicates that the bike is worth $16,000 but needs more than $18,000 in repairs (blonde girl in volleyball shorts sold separately).  It also says that most of the damage is to the front end.  Bobby Petrino concurs with that assessment.

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Peep it here at 10. Listen on demand here.

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The new face of civility…litigiously speaking

Just when you thought you had seen the last of the photo above and allowed the hallowed name of Shady’s Bar in Baton rouge grace your lips, the inevitable round of civil suits surrounding the Jordan Jefferson curb stomping incident have now been filed.

BATON ROUGE – The lawyer for four men injured in a bar brawl involving a group of LSU football players are suing them and the owners of the bar where it happened.

The men filed suit against former LSU quarterback Jordan Jefferson and linebacker Josh Johns, as well as DBJ Interests LLC, doing business as Shady’s Bar.

They claim Jefferson and Johns seriously injured them in a fight outside the bar last August, and that Shady’s didn’t do enough to make sure people in their parking lot were safe.

Attorney Michael Bienvenue filed the suit on behalf of Eric Ewen, Jordan Wills, Cayne Cox and Andrew Lowery.

Lowery and Ewen claim they were kicked and beaten while on the ground, sustaining serious injuries to their backs and faces. Wills and Cox claim they had several cuts and bruises.

The suit comes 2 days after Jefferson signed a contract with the Tampa Bay Bucs after, I assume, demonstrating the ability to make it through a full mini-camp practice without soiling himself.  That said, it is nice to see that Lowery and friends are continuing to exhibit the kind of sound decision making that led to the incident by suing a guy that will be unemployed by the end of the summer.  Get money, young squires.*

*to be fair, they are suing the bar too, but that’s just not as funny

We Have Not Heard the Last of the Jordan Jefferson Curb Stomping Incident is brought to you by Friends of the Program - Sports and Culture...All Under the Table Of Course

I cannot understate how little is going on today.  It’s so underwhelming to the point of exhaustion…you, know that level of tiredness where you could pretty much lay down and fall asleep pretty much anywhere out of sheer boredom…or from a Oklahoma 3.2 beer hangover, whichever.

If you are able to keep your eyes open for any length of time, I’d recommend the following links that, given the snails pace of anything SEC-football or Alabama-fan-getting-arrested news today, have very little, if anything, to do with this site’s usual fare.

• RIP Maurice Sendak [ComedyCentral]
• Malcolm Gladwell and Buzz Bisinger want to make me find something else to do on Saturdays in the Fall [SBNation]
• Sarah Phillips and her partner were probably running books as well as defrauding people [Deadspin]
• Will Ferrell and Zack Galifianakis are running for something, sort of [YouTube]
• Spencer Hall learns to drive rally cars and compares an Audi Quattro to an adult film star in the process [SBNation]
• Keep your eyes on the bahhhh….ullllllll [Youtube]
• This is what happens when Busted Coverage gets it’s hands on some free tickets [BustedCoverage]
• A collection of awesome people hanging out together [AwesomePeople]
• The Turnpike Troubadours have a new album out.  you should peep it. [TurnpikeTroubadours]

Handsome Rick Muscles and I are recording the ol’ podcast with Auburn’s WarBlogle tonight.  Expect a dreamy picture of Brian VanGorder to grace the site tomorrow.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJYfOGb3sKw

• Robert Nkemdiche pushes back his college decision [AJC]
• Nick Saban’s house is for sale.  Im sure Alabama fans are reacting rationally to this news [EDSBS]
• Georgia is not going to wear pink helmets, sadly [SBNation]
• Clint Boyer panders to the home crowd with his Bama-themed racecar at Talledega [Dr. Saturday]
• John L. Smith is a totally chill bro [SBNation]
• The Mississippi St. defensive line will not be one to be trifled with [NEM360]
• Ole Miss shows off their indoor practice crib [RCR]
• Burglary national champs (and in the hometown of Rick Muscles no less!).  Roll Tide [Busted Coverage]
• Will somebody please let tulane build a new stadium [WWLT]
• Ohio St stalker/fan is creepy, owned child porn, wears a hoodie…as is Ohio tradtion [LandgrantHolyland]
• RIP WAC [PresnapRead]
• #15 returns to Fayetteville, a modest Q and A [ArkSports360]
• Mike Leach will be on reddit tomorrow, he doesn’t know what it is, but he’ll be there [Twitter]

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