Friends of the Program

And Now Something for the Insensitive Yet Fashionable Alabama Fan

Bunkie Perkins — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 20:14:06 +0000

I’m sure that this shirt, that no doubt is available in a local tuscaloosa mall kiosk near you for a modest price, is 100% cotton or some sort of polyfiber blend, which allows for both comfort and excellent range of motion when you are attempting to stick your man purse on the head of unsuspecting late night fast food patrons. [HT: Fox]

And Now Something for the Insensitive Yet Fashionable Alabama Fan is brought to you by Friends of the Program - Sports and Culture...All Under the Table Of Course

Everybody Do the Brad Wing, It’s Australia Day

Bunkie Perkins — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 16:43:59 +0000

Happy Australia Day, Kiwis…Who knew that an island filled with English criminals and ne’er do wells could produce both beer in over-sized cans and howitzer legged, co-ed wranglin’ swagga in only 225 years or cultural development. That’s just aggressive evolution right there.

In their honor…everyone, of course, do the Brad Wing.

Everybody Do the Brad Wing, It’s Australia Day is brought to you by Friends of the Program - Sports and Culture...All Under the Table Of Course

Dwight David Honeycutt is Now on Twitter

Bunkie Perkins — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 20:55:42 +0000

Good news for fans of social media and middle aged men with obvious drinking problems, former candidate for the school board in Conway, Arkansas, and FOTP favorite, Dwight David Honeycutt is on Twitter. No confirmation on whether or not it is actually him but with tweet gems like “Just had sex with a woman who has four kids. She said, “Last time I felt something that big, it was shoulders” and “Toby Keith is at home with his dick in his hand and I’m here at karaoke making his song my bitch. Fuck you, America”…I gotta believe its probably him.

Dwight David Honeycutt is Now on Twitter is brought to you by Friends of the Program - Sports and Culture...All Under the Table Of Course

Friends with Muscles: Where We Unveil the Loser Hot Girl Pyramid

Bunkie Perkins — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 15:37:39 +0000

Tiger Woods, long a dweller of the bottom levels of the Loser Hot Girl Pyramid

Following up on the genesis of a conversation Rick Muscles and I had on last week show, we spend the entirety of the show discussing the pyramid of loser hot girls. Be enthralled as we explore the pros and cons of being a hot rod magazine model and the real reasons why Hooters waitresses wear those oppressive white tub socks. Absolutely nothing involving Ole Miss athletics, or even sports in general (except for a brief John Fourcade reference), was discussed. It’s a completely idiotic half hour. I think it’s our best work to date.

Listen here at 10 or download the iPhone app to listen on demand.

Friends with Muscles: Where We Unveil the Loser Hot Girl Pyramid is brought to you by Friends of the Program - Sports and Culture...All Under the Table Of Course

Jarrett Lee Finally Gets In

Bunkie Perkins — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 18:47:32 +0000

Les Miles isn’t in charge of Mardi Gras, because if he was, Jordan Jefferson would be the grand marshal of everything. This would cause entire parade routes to veer off course and into on-coming traffic and beads to be thrown willy nilly at devastating rates of speed and less than desirable accuracy. Despite such failure, Miles would keep Jefferson at his post…thankfully, someone else has been put in charge of such decisions and thus Jarrett Lee, along with Daddy’s boy T-Bob Hebert, will be the grand marshals for the Krewe of Zeus Mardi Gras parade in February.

Jarrett Lee Finally Gets In is brought to you by Friends of the Program - Sports and Culture...All Under the Table Of Course

A Very Special FOTP Birthday

Bunkie Perkins — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 21:14:36 +0000

FOTP would like to send out a special Happy Birthday to the first woman that any of us ever truly loved, Tiffani Amber Thiessen. Bayside’s first lady may turn 38 today (if this doesn’t make you feel ancient, nothing will), but she’ll always be our head cheerleader. (We do not recognize short haired-Brian Austin-Green lovin’-90210 Kelly (Christ, eat a sandwich, Donna) or even boob job-ruin-our-adolescent-imagination-adult-photoshoot Kelly)

Happy birthday, Miss Kapowski.

A Very Special FOTP Birthday is brought to you by Friends of the Program - Sports and Culture...All Under the Table Of Course

Two Weeks of Summer in Indianapolis

Bunkie Perkins — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 16:07:05 +0000

Like the McRib he’s holding, @SummerofMallett is back for a limited time only (click to enlarge and make it your wallpaper, naturally)

I swore up and down that we would never resurrect him. He is a professional now, after all, and a back-up who has spent most of his first year on the IR (those herp flare-ups can be debilitating) and regardless of the amount of fun and Jager Bombs we had at his expense, we were just going to let sleeping skanks lie, as it were. But then his team, the New England Patriots, up and got themselves in the Super Bowl and basically left us with no choice but to revive the Twitter feed, for a limited time. There is just too much comedy and too many words ending with “s” that are begging to end with “z” involved here to miss a two week run by a having-absolutely-no-responsibility #15 through a throng of pre-parties and farmer’s daughters in the nation’s heartland for the Super Bowl. You can bet that the only thing “inactive” about #15 over the next to weeks will be his status for the actual game. Consider him the FOTP Super Bowl correspondent, if you will.

Follow it all, HERE. SHOTZ fired!

Two Weeks of Summer in Indianapolis is brought to you by Friends of the Program - Sports and Culture...All Under the Table Of Course

Case of the Mondays

Bunkie Perkins — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 15:21:38 +0000

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW6e2tDIWW4

Steven Tyler was not the worst musical act to perform this weekend

Remembering JoePa for better and worse [Black Shoe Diaries]
Chip Kelly got all flirty with the Tampa Bay Bucs for a hot minute [Dr. Saturday]
Alabama celebrated their championship, and Nick Saban sorta dressed like Fred Rodgers [AL.com]
Where everybody in the SEC stands a week and some change from signing day [TSK]
Auburn’s hires an offensive coordinator. He looks alot like Davis Love III in this picture [AL.com]
Florida takes an early Fulmer Cup lead… [EDSBS]
…but then Georgia’s Sanders Commings hit a girl [DogBytesOnline]
Highly touted recruits…Twitter is not your friend [Deadspin]
Harvey Updyke rejects plea, will let it ride [SBNation]
A comprehensive glossary of recruiting terms for the uninitiated [SBNation]
Yes, he’s back, for a limited time during this Super Bowl run…more on this later [Twitter]

Case of the Mondays is brought to you by Friends of the Program - Sports and Culture...All Under the Table Of Course

Attention Dead People in Alabama: Spend Your Eternal Rest Next to Bear Bryant

Bunkie Perkins — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 19:28:05 +0000

Are you dead or near death? Are you in Alabama? Do you honor the life and memory of your former football coach more than you do that of your own flesh and blood? Well, have I got the deal for you! For a modest sum, you can spend eternity, having maggots eat at your rotting corpse, right along side the Bear himself! Five plots have opened up in Elmwood cemetery right next to the legendary Alabama coach and can be had for only $2,200 a pop. A small price to pay to have you and your family laid to rest at the Bear’s right hand, if it’s still attached after all these years, of course. [HT: robertelowder]

Attention Dead People in Alabama: Spend Your Eternal Rest Next to Bear Bryant is brought to you by Friends of the Program - Sports and Culture...All Under the Table Of Course

We Can All Rest Easy, the Alabama Serial Teabagger is Off the Street

Bunkie Perkins — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 16:13:04 +0000

Im sure Under Armour appreciates the support, big guy

Brian Downing, the man who Deadspin eluded to (AND WE NAMED THANK YOU VERY MUCH NOLA.COM! CLAY TRAVIS DIDNT POST THAT SHIT FOR ANOTHER HOUR AFTER WE DID BUT WHATEVER THAT GUY IS A LAWYER AND MARRIED A CHEERLEADER, OR HADN’T YOU HEARD!?) as possibly the junk pressing Alabama gentleman from the now infamous Bourbon Street Krystal video, has turned himself in to New Orleans authorities…as you see above.

While trying not to laugh, I’d imagine, the officers booked him on one count of sexual battery and one count of obscenity…and could likely land him in jail for up to 10 years (despite whatever Clay Travis tells you). In Louisiana, its up to 10 years, unless the person has a mental or physical handicapped, just ask Mystical.

We Can All Rest Easy, the Alabama Serial Teabagger is Off the Street is brought to you by Friends of the Program - Sports and Culture...All Under the Table Of Course