Friends Place – Adult Alzheimers Daytime Care Center

What Is an Adult Activity Center, and Could It Help Your Family? A DFW Caregiver’s Guide

2026-06-05T14:17:33Z

Most families don’t find out about adult activity centers at a relaxed moment, sitting down to research care options with a clear head and plenty of time. They find out when they’re already stretched. When the nights are interrupted and the days are consumed by caregiving responsibilities, something has to give

If that’s where you are right now, you’re not alone. And the option we’re about to describe is one that most families in the Dallas-Fort Worth area don’t know exists until they’re exactly in that place

An adult activity center is a structured, professionally staffed daytime program designed for older adults who benefit from support, engagement, and safe supervision during the day. It’s not a nursing home. It’s not in-home care. It’s a dignified, purposefully built environment where adults living with Alzheimer’s, dementia, and related memory conditions spend meaningful days with peers, receive the health and personal care they need, and return home to their families every evening.

This guide is for the family caregivers who are still in the early stages of figuring this out. It will answer the questions most people ask: what adult day services actually are, who they help, what a day looks like, how the costs compare to other options, and how to take the first step without feeling any pressure.

Friends Place Adult Day Services has been serving DFW families since 2005, with centers in Richardson, DeSoto, and a new third location in Plano. Everything in this guide reflects the real program, the real services, and the real experience of the families who have found us, many of them at exactly the moment you might be in right now.

Table of Contents

The Weight Caregivers Carry
What Is an Adult Activity Center?
What an Adult Activity Center Is Not
Who Is the Right Fit for an Adult Activity Center?
What Does a Typical Day Look Like at Friends Place?
The Activities: Why They’re Designed the Way They Are
Health and Wellness: What the Full-Time Nurse Means in Practice
How an Adult Activity Center Supports the Whole Family
What Makes a Specialized Dementia Program Different
How Adult Day Services Compare to Other Care Options
What Does an Adult Activity Center Cost in DFW?
What About Veterans?
How to Start Exploring: A First Tour at Friends Place
FAQs: What DFW Caregivers Ask Most

The Weight Caregivers Carry

There’s a particular kind of exhaustion that comes with caring for someone you love who has Alzheimer’s or dementia. It’s not like being tired from a busy week. It doesn’t resolve with a good night’s sleep, which is often impossible anyway.

It’s the exhaustion of being the person who holds the whole thing together. The one who manages the medications, the appointments, and the routines. Who wakes up to confusion at 2 a.m. and gets up because someone has to. Who carries the worry quietly because there’s no one else to hand it to.

Most family caregivers do this for months or years before they let themselves seriously consider asking for help. Partly because they don’t know what help looks like. Partly because the options they’ve heard of, nursing homes, assisted living facilities, and full-time aides, don’t feel right yet. Partly because accepting support feels like a betrayal of the commitment they made.

It isn’t. Accepting support is often what allows you to keep the promise you made, to keep your loved one home, to stay present, to protect your own health enough to continue showing up.

Adult day services are the support most DFW families have never fully considered. And for many, it’s the thing that makes everything sustainable.

What Is an Adult Activity Center?

An adult activity center is a professionally staffed daytime program where older adults come during the day, participate in structured and purposeful activities, receive meals and health support, and return home to their families each evening.

Think of it as a community that exists for the hours between drop-off and pickup. Members arrive in the morning to familiar faces and a familiar routine. They spend the day engaged: in conversations, in music, in games, in movement, in personal care, in the quiet rhythm of a day that has been thoughtfully built around who they are and what they need.

At Friends Place, that program is designed specifically for adults living with early- and mid-stage Alzheimer’s, dementia, and related memory conditions. Not a general mix of seniors with a variety of needs, not a waiting room with activities added on, but a program purpose-built for the people it serves.

The staff knows each member’s name. They know which songs they respond to. They know how to redirect gently when anxiety rises and how to celebrate the small victories that matter every day. That consistency, that genuine familiarity, is part of what makes the program work.

And every evening, your loved one comes home. They sleep in their own bed, in the home they know, with the family they love. The program supports continuity rather than replacing it.

What an Adult Activity Center Is Not

Because adult activity centers are genuinely unfamiliar to most families, it helps to clear up what they aren’t before describing what they are.

Not a nursing home

A nursing home is a residential facility. Your loved one moves in and lives there around the clock. An adult activity center is not residential at all. Members come for the day and go home. The home life your family has built stays intact. The program is there to support it, not replace it.

Not a memory care facility

Memory care facilities are residential communities designed for people with dementia who need 24-hour supervised care. They’re appropriate for specific stages of the disease. An adult activity center like Friends Place serves adults in the early and mid stages of memory impairment, who still benefit from living at home and who thrive with structure, engagement, and the right level of support during the day.

Not a general senior center

Senior centers serve older adults broadly, often with drop-in, informal programming for a mix of participants with varying needs and abilities. A specialized adult activity center like Friends Place is purpose-built for people with memory impairment. The environment, the activities, the staff training, and the health support are all of it is designed around the specific realities of Alzheimer’s and dementia care. These are not the same experience.

Not in-home care

In-home care brings a caregiver to your loved one’s home, usually on a one-on-one basis. It’s valuable and the right fit for many situations. An adult activity center provides something different: a separate, professionally staffed community environment where members benefit from peer socialization, group programming, and a structured day that in-home care cannot replicate. Many families use both, and find the combination creates a genuinely sustainable caregiving approach.

Who Is the Right Fit for an Adult Activity Center?

The question most family caregivers ask first is whether their loved one is the right fit. Here is an honest answer.

Friends Place is designed for adults who:

Are living with early- or mid-stage Alzheimer’s, dementia, or a related memory condition
Are ambulatory and able to participate in group activities, even with some support
Are you living at home with a family caregiver or spouse
Would benefit from a structured daily routine, social connection, and purposeful engagement
Have a family caregiver who needs reliable daytime relief to maintain their own health, work, and wellbeing

If your loved one is in a later stage of the disease and requires around-the-clock residential care, a specialized dementia care facility may be the right fit at this time. Friends Place will always be honest with families about whether the program is the right match, and can help connect families with other resources if the timing isn’t right.

For families who are in the early or mid stages of the caregiving journey, and who are committed to keeping their loved one at home as long as possible, Friends Place is often exactly the support that makes that possible.

What Does a Typical Day Look Like at Friends Place?

This is the question that matters most to family caregivers, and the answer is one of the most important things we can share: a day at Friends Place is a genuinely good day.

Not a day of supervision. Not a day of waiting. A day that has been built around engagement, dignity, and the kind of moments that remind a person of who they are.

Arrival and Morning Welcome

Members arrive between 7:30 and 9:00 AM to a familiar welcome from staff who know them. This consistency matters more than it might seem. For adults with memory impairment, the predictability of a familiar face saying a familiar good morning is genuinely grounding. The morning begins with a continental breakfast and snacks. Health monitoring begins, blood pressure checks, glucose readings, medication administration, and oxygen support where needed. The routine of arrival sets the tone for the whole day.

Morning Activities

The morning activity block is designed to engage the mind and the spirit. Word games, trivia, and mind fitness exercises are woven into the morning alongside music programs and daily sing-alongs that tap into long-term memory in ways that are often deeply moving for both members and the staff who witness them. A daily sing-along might seem like a small thing from the outside. The experience of watching a loved one light up during a song they’ve known for fifty years is not small at all.

Exercise and Movement

Physical exercise happens twice daily at Friends Place, calibrated to each member’s ability level. Staying physically active is one of the most effective things an older adult with dementia can do to maintain function and quality of life. The program takes this seriously. Movement is built into the day, not added as an afterthought.

Lunch

A hot, nutritious lunch is served restaurant-style, prepared on-site, and reviewed by a licensed dietitian. Meals are not institutional. They’re planned thoughtfully, served with care, and eaten at tables with people around them. For many members, lunch is one of the social highlights of the day. Hydration is maintained throughout, with juices and water served regularly. Dietary needs and restrictions are accommodated.

Afternoon Programming

The afternoon offers a full mix of programming. Arts and crafts, book club, art appreciation, language class, and intergenerational programming bring different kinds of engagement to the day. Therapy dogs visit regularly. Community service projects and a participant volunteer program, which allow members to contribute their skills and time, provide something many older adults with dementia deeply miss: the feeling of being useful and of mattering to something beyond themselves.

Departure

Members are prepared for departure with the same care and familiarity that marked their arrival. Family caregivers receive updates on the day. Notes are shared about health observations, mood, engagement, and anything the staff thinks the family should know. Members return home having spent a full, genuinely meaningful day in good company.

The Activities: Why They’re Designed the Way They Are

It would be easy to look at a list of activities and see singing, crafts, and trivia as pleasant but not particularly significant. The reality is different.

The activity programming at Friends Place is intentionally designed around what research on dementia care consistently shows: structured, meaningful engagement helps maintain cognitive function, emotional regulation, social skills, and quality of life. This isn’t an activity for its own sake. It’s engagement as care.

Music reaches parts of the brain that Alzheimer’s often preserves long after other functions have been affected. A person who can’t recall what they had for breakfast may sing every word of a song from 1965 with complete clarity. The daily sing-along isn’t entertainment. It’s a connection.

Word games and mind fitness activities keep language pathways active. Community service projects and the participant volunteer program give members a sense of purpose and contribution that’s often among the first things lost after a diagnosis. The book club, the language class, and the art appreciation sessions maintain identity, keeping members connected to the people they have always been.

Exercising twice daily maintains mobility and physical strength, which directly affects independence and overall health. Therapy dog visits have been shown to reduce anxiety and improve mood. Intergenerational programming creates connections across ages that feel genuinely alive.

None of this is accidental. The program was built this way and continues this way because the people it serves deserve it.

Health and Wellness: What the Full-Time Nurse Means in Practice

One of the things that sets Friends Place apart from most adult activity centers is that a licensed nurse is on staff every single day.

Not on call. Not shared with another facility. On-site, every day, from open to close.

For families whose loved one has more complex health needs alongside their memory condition, this is not a minor detail. It means medication can be administered correctly and on schedule. It means blood pressure is monitored and documented. It means glucose levels are checked for members managing diabetes. It means oxygen support is available where indicated. It means that if something changes, medically, during the day, there is a qualified clinical professional on the premises who is already part of the member’s care.

Many families carry a quiet anxiety about leaving a loved one in someone else’s care, not because they doubt the warmth of the staff, but because of the medical complexity involved. The full-time nurse doesn’t eliminate that anxiety. But it changes the quality of the reassurance significantly.

Friends Place operates under a dual model: social and medical care under one roof. Most adult activity centers offer one or the other. Friends Place offers both. For families with loved ones who need both, this matters.

How an Adult Activity Center Supports the Whole Family

Adult day services are often described as a dual benefit, and that’s exactly right. The impact runs in two directions at once.

For the member

Older adults living with memory impairment who attend a specialized adult activity center consistently experience meaningful benefits over time. Reduced isolation. Improved mood and emotional regulation. Maintained cognitive function through consistent structured engagement. The experience of belonging to a community, of being known by name and genuinely welcomed each day. A social connection that in-home care cannot replicate.

What family caregivers often describe, sometimes with surprise, is seeing their loved one actually look forward to going. A member who was resistant to the idea in the beginning asked, on a Saturday, when they would get to go back. That shift, from reluctance to anticipation, happens more often than not when the environment is genuinely right.

For the family caregiver

The word respite is often used for adult day services, and it’s accurate as far as it goes. But the word undersells what’s actually happening for family caregivers who find the right program.

It’s not just rest. It’s the ability to sleep through a night knowing that tomorrow, the day is handled. It’s the ability to keep a job, or to go to a doctor’s appointment, or to have a conversation with a friend without the constant weight of monitoring. It’s the confidence that your loved one is having a good day, not just a safe one.

Many family caregivers describe the moment they started using Friends Place as the moment caregiving became sustainable again. Not easy. But sustainable. The difference between running on empty indefinitely and having a resource that lets you refill.

What Makes a Specialized Dementia Program Different

Not every adult activity center is the same. The distinction between a general adult activity center and a specialized dementia program matters enormously for families whose loved one has a specific diagnosis.

Friends Place is purpose-built for adults with Alzheimer’s, dementia, and related memory conditions. What that means in practice:

The environment is designed with safety and predictability in mind, reducing confusion and supporting routine
Every staff member is trained in dementia care, not just oversight
Activity programming is calibrated to different stages of memory impairment, so early-stage and mid-stage members both participate meaningfully
The 1:5 staff-to-member ratio means individual attention is genuinely possible throughout the day
The full-time nurse brings clinical support that most activity centers don’t have
The physical layout, the daily schedule, and the approach to redirection and de-escalation are all specific to the realities of dementia care

A general senior center can be a wonderful community. For an adult with Alzheimer’s or dementia, the wrong environment can actually increase distress. The specialization at Friends Place isn’t a marketing distinction. It’s the reason the program works the way it does.

How Adult Day Services Compare to Other Care Options

Most families exploring care options are weighing several things at once: what their loved one needs, what they can sustain as a caregiver, what they can afford, and what feels right. Here is an honest comparison of the main options.

Adult Activity Center vs. Assisted Living

Assisted living is the right choice when a person can no longer safely live at home, even with support, and when they need residential care around the clock. For adults in the early and mid stages of memory impairment, residential placement is often premature. It can be disorienting for the member; it removes the home environment that many people with dementia depend on for comfort and stability, and it typically costs significantly more.

Adult day services allow your loved one to remain in the home they know, with the routines and surroundings they depend on, while receiving professional support and genuine engagement during the day. Many families find that starting with Friends Place delays the need for residential placement, sometimes by years.

Adult Activity Center vs. In-Home Care

In-home care provides a caregiver in the person’s own residence, typically one-on-one. For adults with significant physical care needs, or for those who are not comfortable leaving home, in-home care may be the right primary option.

The meaningful distinction is that in-home care cannot provide what a specialized adult activity center provides: peer socialization, group programming, the cognitive engagement of a community environment, and the psychological benefits of belonging somewhere outside the home. Many families combine both approaches effectively: Friends Place for weekday daytime hours, in-home or family care for evenings and weekends.

Adult Activity Center vs. Memory Care Facility

Memory care facilities are specialized residential communities for people with dementia who need 24-hour supervised care and a secure environment. They’re the right choice when someone is no longer safe at home, even with robust daytime support.

Friends Place serves adults who are not at that stage yet and who benefit significantly from remaining at home. The goal of the program is, in part, to support the family through the early and mid stages of the disease in a way that delays or avoids residential placement for as long as it remains appropriate.

What Does an Adult Activity Center Cost in DFW?

Cost is one of the first real questions families ask, and it deserves a direct, honest answer.

At Friends Place, the daily rate is $80 for a half day, defined as five hours or less, and $100 for a full day, which is anything over five hours. These rates cover the full program: activities, meals, health monitoring by the full-time nurse, and personal care services.

For a family whose loved one attends five days per week, the monthly cost ranges from approximately $1,600 to $2,000, depending on full-day versus half-day attendance. That is a meaningful number, and we want to be straightforward about it. It is also significantly less than the cost of in-home care for equivalent hours, and substantially less than assisted living or memory care placement in the DFW area.

Long-term care insurance is accepted at Friends Place. If your loved one has a long-term care insurance policy, that coverage may apply to adult day services. It’s worth reviewing the policy or calling the insurer directly to confirm what’s covered.

For eligible veterans, both the Richardson and DeSoto centers hold contracts with the VA North Texas Health Care System, which may cover attendance at no cost. That benefit is described in more detail in the next section.

If cost is a concern, the most useful first step is a conversation with the Friends Place team. We can help you understand what options may be available and how to make the most of the resources your family already has.

What About Veterans?

Both the Friends Place Richardson and DeSoto centers hold contracts with the VA North Texas Health Care System. For veterans who are enrolled in VA healthcare and meet eligibility criteria, attending Friends Place may be covered at no cost or at significantly reduced cost.

This benefit is part of the VA Standard Medical Benefits Package and is specifically designed to support veterans who are living at home and benefit from structured daytime programming. Exactly what Friends Place provides.

If you are caring for a veteran with Alzheimer’s or dementia in the DFW area, we encourage you to call (972) 437-2940 or visit friendsplaceads.com to ask about VA eligibility. The first step is a conversation, and we’re glad to help your family understand what’s available.

How to Start Exploring: A First Tour at Friends Place

The best way to understand Friends Place is to see it. Not through a website or a brochure, but by walking through the door, meeting the staff, watching the day unfold, and feeling for yourself whether this is the right environment for your family.

A tour at Friends Place is unhurried. There’s no sales pressure, no enrollment pitch waiting at the end. The goal of a first visit is always the same: to give your family the information and the experience you need to make the right decision, whatever that turns out to be.

Many families find it helpful to bring their loved one on an early visit. The warmth of the welcome, the familiar sounds of music and activity, the comfort of a well-designed space, can ease the transition in ways that description alone can’t.

Before you visit, it can help to gather a few things:

A summary of your loved one’s diagnosis, current stage, and any specific behavioral or health considerations the team should know about
A sense of their interests, what activities they’ve always enjoyed, what music they love, what brings them to life
Any questions you have about the nursing coverage, health monitoring, or personal care services
Information about your insurance coverage, including any long-term care insurance policy and VA benefits if applicable

You don’t need to have answers to everything before calling. You don’t need to have made any decisions. You can call simply because you want to understand what this is, and whether it might be right for your family. That’s exactly what the first conversation is for.

Schedule a tour or reach out at friendsplaceads.com. Or call (972) 437-2940. We’re here.

FAQs: What DFW Caregivers Ask Most

What is an adult activity center?

An adult activity center is a professionally staffed daytime program for older adults who benefit from structured support, social engagement, health monitoring, and purposeful activity during the day. Friends Place specializes in adults living with Alzheimer’s, dementia, and related memory conditions. Members come for the day and return home each evening. The program is not residential.

How is an adult activity center different from a senior center?

Senior centers serve a broad range of older adults with informal, drop-in programming. A specialized adult activity center like Friends Place is purpose-built for adults with memory impairment, with dementia-trained staff, a full-time nurse, structured therapeutic programming, and an environment designed around the specific realities of Alzheimer’s and dementia care. The experience and the outcomes are meaningfully different for this population.

Will my loved one actually want to go?

This is the question families ask most often, and the answer we hear most consistently from caregivers after the first few weeks is yes. The familiar staff, the structured routine, the activities calibrated to each member’s level of engagement, and the sense of belonging to a community create an experience most members genuinely look forward to. Connie Moss, a family member who shared her experience in a public Google review, described her loved one as having slid easily into a routine and attending daily since 2019. She added that if weekend services were offered, he’d be happy to go then too

What if my loved one is reluctant to try it?

Reluctance is common and completely understandable. Adults with memory impairment can resist change even when the change is beneficial, and the idea of going somewhere new may feel unsettling. The Friends Place team is experienced in supporting gentle, patient transitions. Many families find that bringing their loved one for a first visit, without framing it as a commitment, helps. Sitting in on the morning activities, meeting the staff, and experiencing the environment can shift the response significantly. We’re glad to talk through strategies for the specific situation your family is navigating.

What does it cost, and does insurance cover it?

At Friends Place, the daily rate is $80 for a half day (five hours or less) and $100 for a full day (over five hours). Long-term care insurance is accepted. For eligible veterans, both the Richardson and DeSoto centers hold contracts with the VA North Texas Health Care System, which may cover attendance at no cost. If you have questions about coverage, we encourage you to call (972) 437-2940 or visit friendsplaceads.com. The team is glad to help you work through the options.

How does Friends Place support family caregivers, not just the member?

The practical benefit is real and immediate: reliable daytime hours where someone you trust is responsible for your loved one’s care. Beyond that, many family caregivers describe a shift in the quality of their own days. The ability to sleep knowing tomorrow is handled. To keep working. To keep a doctor’s appointment. To be a person outside of caregiving. Staff shares daily updates at pickup so you always know how the day went. You’re not stepping away. You’re building a team.

Is Friends Place right for someone in the early stages of dementia?

Yes. Friends Place serves adults in both early and mid stages of Alzheimer’s and dementia, with activity programming calibrated to different levels of engagement. Early-stage members benefit from the cognitive stimulation, social connection, and structured routine in ways that can genuinely slow decline and support quality of life. Starting earlier, when the transition to the new environment is easier, often leads to a smoother experience for both the member and the family.

Where are the Friends Place locations?

Friends Place currently operates in Richardson at 1960 Nantucket Drive and in DeSoto at 1232 W. Beltline Road. Our third location is in Plano at 4682 McDermott Road, expanding access across Collin County and North Dallas communities including Plano, Frisco, Allen, and McKinney. Visit friendsplaceads.com to learn more about each location or to schedule a tour.

How do I take the first step?

Call (972) 437-2940 or visit friendsplaceads.com to schedule a tour. A tour takes about an hour. There is no pressure and no commitment required. You’ll meet the team, see the environment, and leave with a clear picture of whether Friends Place is the right fit. If you’d rather talk through questions before visiting, that conversation is welcome too. We’re here whenever you’re ready.

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Gratitude: The Key to Being a Happier, Healthier Caregiver

2019-01-23T22:21:47Z

Begin the day with a thankful heart. It sounds trite and almost impossible if you are caring for a loved-one with Alzheimer’s /dementia. We see this saying on signs, refrigerator magnets and almost everywhere these days. Gratitude is a crucial key to keeping a caregiver’s life in balance. In fact, numerous studies have shown a direct link between gratitude and wellness. It can change our attitudes, expectations, as well as our perspective. As caregivers, practicing gratitude positively affects our well-being as well as those for whom we care.

Living with constant stress, coping with daily challenges, and watching loved-ones slowly decline takes a toll on the physical and emotional health of dementia family caregivers. An attitude of gratitude has proven to increase happiness, decrease depression, and fosters resilience. Expressing our feelings of gratefulness, induces the relaxation response thus reducing stress and promoting better sleep.

A sign hangs in my home that says, “There is Always, Always, Always; Something to Be Thankful For”. Although when a caregiver is overwhelmed by all the endless tasks and emotions of caregiving, it can be hard to recall this simple saying, let alone put it into practice. Once gratitude becomes part of your daily life, it’s easier to find reasons for which to be thankful. You might be grateful that you still have your health or woke up with an abundance of patience. Perhaps, you both laughed together during breakfast, he winked at you or she smiled and said, “I love you”. Or being grateful that at least one of you still has a sense of humor by the end of the day, even during those moments when you both don’t agree on what is truly funny.

You might be thankful for family or friends who are willing to support you from one day to the next. Graciously accept their offers of time and talents without hesitation. Most caregivers are far better at giving than receiving. There are times when caregivers are too overwhelmed to know how to respond to a friendly solicitation. And those desiring to help you will often need some direction as to what would be useful.

Throughout this journey your needs and stamina will be ever changing… as is everything else. When family and friends enquire, consider these suggestions. Use post-it notes on a bulletin board or refrigerator to indicate specific tasks or errands that would be beneficial. Jot down items as they come to your mind for others to select according to their personal preference. For someone that enjoys cooking, a dinner casserole is easy and often appreciated.

If nothing comes to mind, ask them if you can call them at a future date. Have them write down their name, number and offer in a book or on a list which you can refer to when that need arises. Then call on them at that time. Remember that they offer because they want to help. Allow them the gratification of giving you this gift of love and friendship, a gesture of care and concern.

When we practice gratitude, we can fully enjoy being “in the moment” with our love-ones with an increased awareness of personality traits or capabilities remaining, despite this terrible disease. Rather than becoming emotionally entangled by the sadness of all the things they can no longer do, we can thankfully acknowledge their existing strengths and abilities. Again, we can find something for which to be thankful.

As my dad’s disease has progressed, many of my previous frustrations have now become special reasons for which I am most grateful. When he is trying to tell me something and too many words are missing, I’m grateful for the remaining words. When he starts to walk away without his walker, I’m grateful that he can still walk. When he repeats a story or asks the same question three times in a row, I am grateful that he still wants to talk and share – and that he can. And during those heartbreaking times when he seems so unsure of who I am, as his only child I am happy and grateful that my entire life, he has lovingly referred to me as his “favorite daughter”.

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Everything Changes

2018-11-28T13:29:33Z

In the beginning, caring for a loved one with dementia is seemingly a good idea and the right thing to do. It is certainly something we think we can handle on our own. Caregivers are devoted and determined. Our life is now different than before this disease, but we adjust. Even when we don’t really know what we’re doing, we still tend to figure it out the best we can, and then persevere. If we stop paying attention for just a minute, something can happen. When we take the time to look up from our situation, we discover that concerned family members and friends are willing to help. There are solutions to almost every problem. Sometimes it’s as simple as taking a deep breath, remaining calm, and having a trusted person by our side to keep us safe on solid ground. This experience can be fun, sometimes frustrating, often frightening, but well worth the effort.

As far back as I can remember I have learned great things from my father. He taught me words of wisdom, valuable life lessons, and how to be a good person. Now, I am learning from him about life with Alzheimer’s in a way that has given me a deeper, more personal awareness.

For me professionally, doing and saying the right things came naturally. At least it seemed effortless, until the day I became my Dad’s caregiver. How different it is when you are caring for other people’s family members. You know them only in that moment of their life. There is no past, no family dynamics, no buttons that can be pushed. There is just today. Then, at the end of the day you go home. It’s no wonder that it seemed so easy.

For some weird reason, when you are caring for your own, you tend to forget every, single thing you know about this disease. I certainly did. During the first year that my dad was living with me, we both learned a lot of new things about the effects of this disease on memory, thinking and behavior.
We were both surprised when there was an electrical fire in the lamp next to his bed. I was shocked that he would replace a 60-watt bulb with a 200-watt. He was astounded that it was a problem. To him it just seemed to be the right thing to do if you wanted more light.

The time we encountered each another in the hallway between our bedrooms at 1:30 in the morning, we were both a bit flabbergasted. He wondered what I was doing up so late. I questioned why he was returning from the garage with an electrical drill in his hands. Dad explained that the hole in his new paper wall calendar was too small to go over the nail, so he had decided to use the drill to make a larger hole. As you might guess, I was not in agreement.
Until it is in your home and you wake up every morning, go to sleep every night and worry about the tomorrows each day, you can’t fully comprehend the impact of this disease. From the very first day you hear the diagnosis, your world – and theirs – begins to change. Shortly thereafter you realize that everything changes, again, and again. And, so must we.

Many of the changes with this disease are ever so slowly and in such a subtle way that we often don’t even realize when it’s time to readjust or do things differently. We become acclimated to living in an unpredictable environment. We think we’re fine, until the moment we finally realize that we are not. And, we also tend to think our loved-one is okay until something unexpected occurs.

All of us wish that our parent, spouse, friend or partner had come with a book- like a personal instructional manual. Perhaps then, we could be better equipped to anticipate what was going to happen next. Adjustments could be made, plans put into place, adequate time allocated, and we could mentally prepare. We could expect the unexpected. Even better, this manual would have a special section in the back for troubleshooting. We could look up a problem in the index, turn to the exact page and find just the right answer. Wouldn’t that be a valuable caregiver resource to have handy!

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Listening to Their Words, Hearing With Our Hearts

2018-10-31T17:09:51Z

While caregivers all have good intentions, we sometimes find ourselves listening only half-heartedly. All too often we’re doing a hundred other things, or our mind is elsewhere when we should be actively listening. We hear what a loved one is saying but are not consciously listening with the purpose of understanding.

Be authentically interested. Actively listen by paying attention to anything and everything that they are trying to communicate to us. This is about more than just listening to words. It’s using both our ears and our eyes. As the disease progresses, language skills diminish and so do their words. Focus on all of the ways that people communicate – conversations, body language, sounds, gestures, and emotions.

Taking those few extra minutes to give them our full-undivided attention, and responding with a genuine interest, confirms that they are still valued. It conveys that what they believe and think really does matter. And, that they matter to us, too.

Caregivers are often juggling the responsibilities of running households, holding down jobs as well as managing all the personal affairs for at least two people, sometimes more. There are meals to plan, shopping, errands to run, doctor’s appointments, cooking, cleaning, and endless lists of chores. However, not paying attention can consume time and create new challenges.

Times that we hear words but don’t really listen also prevent us from asking the right questions or having the necessary information to communicate effectively as well as compassionately. We tend to speak before we think, and we react rather than respond appropriately.

We’ve all done it. One Saturday morning, my Dad and I were at a community arts festival at a local park. Originally, I had planned to go alone. I didn’t really have the time to go but was looking for a specific item. Dad insisted on going and promised he would keep up with me. I knew he loved going places, so I agreed. That was my first mistake.

We had been there about fifteen minutes when Dad asked if I knew where the bathrooms were located. Even if I had been more familiar with the park, there were over 200 booths laid out in and around the trees, in a giant maze. Being short on time, I didn’t stop to ask any questions but just turned on my heels and hurried off toward the large building. That was my second mistake. Many of the rows of vendors were dead ends, which just hastened our search. We finally arrived to find that there weren’t any restrooms as it was only a maintenance building. Then we discovered that the toilets were in the opposite direction from which we had been going.

Finally, after rushing around for 10 minutes or so (it really seemed like an hour), we ended up in a parking area where about 20 portable toilets were located. This was not what I expected.

Turning to my dad I asked, “Can you use one of these?”
“For what?” he said.
“I thought you said you had to go to the bathroom?”
“I don’t have to go! I thought you needed to go after all that coffee you drank this morning.”

I wasn’t sure whether to laugh, cry, or scream. To say the least, it was definitely a frustrating moment. And it was all my fault. I never took the time to ask him any questions. Instead I had just reacted. Never would I have done the same thing with my sons when they were young or any of my grandchildren. Any normal mother interrogates them first. Can you wait? How bad do you have to go? Why didn’t you go before we left?

That morning, I learned many lessons. Hurrying will always take longer. Don’t make assumptions. Fathers like to be helpful. And, that there is a distinct difference between hearing words and sounds, versus listening and understanding a message.

The post Listening to Their Words, Hearing With Our Hearts appeared first on Friends Place - Adult Alzheimers Daytime Care Center.

What Really Goes on in an Alzheimer’s Support Group Meeting

2018-09-27T18:43:31Z

When someone has never been to a caregiver’s support group meeting, the notion of attending can be a bit daunting. The misconception and thought of having to bare your soul and shortcomings in a room filled with strangers is not something that anyone in their right mind would look forward to doing. But the reality is that no one is required to speak or share. They just need to show up willing to listen and learn. Having a sense of humor can be especially helpful as is a few tissues. A good support group has laughter, an occasional tear, and a lot of helpful advice from others who are walking the same path. These meetings ensure that no one journeys alone. They are one of the most important resources available to Alzheimer’s Caregivers.

The right support group offers more benefits than most families can even imagine. Throughout the long course of this disease, everything continues to change. Just as no two people with dementia are the same, the needs and desires of caregivers varies every bit as much as the similarities and differences of any individual. And yet, they all benefit from the sense of empowerment that these groups provide.

Support groups were never intended to be merely a woe-is-me meeting. Rather, they continue to be a great source for education, referrals, and emotional support. Families can learn about dementia, adopt new coping skills, and acquire effective caregiving techniques. From each other, they receive acceptance, understanding, guidance and recognition. Equipped with a renewed confidence they feel stronger in mind and spirit. They are armed with the knowledge needed to tackle the barrage of challenges and better prepared to expect the unexpected.

Keep in mind that support groups are not all created equal. Which is most likely why people tend to either love them or hate them. Sometimes it’s because they’ve attended a poorly conducted or unorganized group resulting in a bad experience, then vow to never return. And, there are some caregivers totally averse to support groups. They have already made up their mind that they don’t need “support” and are certain that these groups are simply not for them. But surprisingly, many of these same people have never even attended one meeting. Maybe it’s because they didn’t know or understand what goes on behind the closed doors. They have never heard the laughter or felt the kindness. They missed a chance to be reminded that each of us as caregivers are truly doing the best we can, but still want to do better.

Don’t miss out on this wonderful opportunity. It’s the best place to find a group of positive minded individuals, all with a common desire to learn how to care compassionately and effectively. If you or someone you know had a terrible experience, then it just wasn’t the right group. Perhaps, it was too big, too small, too far or not the best time of day. This is not a disease to go-it-alone. Look for a group that is a good fit for you personally and give it a try. Or consider going back to a previous support group or a new one at least one more time. You can easily find a complete list of local support groups in your community by visiting the Alzheimer’s Association or other dementia specific web sites.

The post What Really Goes on in an Alzheimer’s Support Group Meeting appeared first on Friends Place - Adult Alzheimers Daytime Care Center.

Fibs, Facts and Delusions

2016-12-19T22:32:37Z

Caregiver Corner by Pam Johnson

In the world of dementia, there is always a dilemma when it comes to telling lies vs being honest. Is it ever okay to tell a lie? Is honesty really the best policy when caring for someone with Alzheimer’s or dementia? These might seem to be easy questions but not if the one you love has vivid hallucinations or serious delusions.

Few people can truthfully say they have never lied to someone at some time. How honest are most, when asked, “Do these jeans make me look fat?” or “How do I look with a mustache?” We use little white lies because it makes them feel better than if we were candid.

A fib is used for something unimportant. When a person with dementia has hallucinations and delusions, their reality is quite different than ours and the facts are blurred. The truth is often perceived as a lie and honesty is more likely to increase anger and frustration rather than be calming and reassuring.

Through the years, many different terms have been used to refer to a more compassionate type of communication dealing with untruths. Caregivers will often use therapeutic lies as an act of kindness not to be deceitful. In support groups, families have often shared with others that many benefits of learning how to speak “Fibberish”. This is term created by a caring wife to best describe a language of loving deceptions. Because if they see it, hear it, think it …then it is real. And, the facts as we know them do not work in a delusional world of fantasy.

We need to step back from our reality and address the situations with a different approach. One effective way to approach almost any hallucination is to ask ourselves, “What if it were so?” Then, respond appropriately.

When you are caring for a loved-one with a dementia, it truly doesn’t matter who is right or wrong. It is important that they feel, safe, satisfied and reassured.

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Music Therapy as a Treatment for Alzheimer’s

2016-12-14T23:45:55Z

Caregiver’s Corner by Pam Johnson

Who has not experienced the power of music and marveled at its ability to bring joy, ease pain and elevate our mood. Often when we hear a song, it is so much more than words and lyrics. It becomes the link to one of our special memories of a wonderful place in time.

The use of music as a viable treatment to improve heath is not a new concept. Writings of Aristotle and Plato from more than 2,000 years ago, indicate that music was used to treat demented older people. After WWI and WWII, veterans were exposed to music to aid in recovery from physical or emotional traumas. The many positive outcomes prompted a need for formal training and the first music therapy degree program was created in 1944.

Music Therapy is much more than merely listening to music or singing. It is designed to be a personal, interactive and engaging healthcare intervention. In more recent years, it has been recognized as an actual treatment for Alzheimer’s and other dementias.

At the 2016 National Adult Day Services Association Conference, Andy Tubman, Co-Founder of Musical Technologies presented a demonstration of the SingFit® Prime Program. He explained that “with our technology and music therapist designed programming that includes trivia, movement and visual cues, our thousands of seniors are deeply engaging in a musical, whole-brain exercise daily.” Tubman added, that this program enables a “mass distribution of music as medicine.”

Friends Place is proud to announce that we have contracted with Musical Technologies to be able to provide our members with the vast benefits of SingFit®. Specific staff members have been selected to receive the specialized training and certification that will allow us to offer this amazing program beginning in January 2017.

We believe that music is medicine for those with dementia. It enables them to achieve and/or maintain an optimal level of physical, intellectual and emotional wellness. Music keeps life in motion.

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Prepare for the Holidays with New Traditions

2016-11-06T23:15:54Z

WIth the holidays fast approaching, please find our tips for the holidays from our post last year:

Caregiver’s Corner: Prepare for the Holidays with New Traditions

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Mindfulness, Meditation and Dementia

2016-10-07T19:51:11Z

Mindfulness and meditation are two effective techniques for reducing stress associated with caring for a loved-one with dementia. Although each of these are shown to be effective stress-reducing activities, UCLA researchers found even greater health benefits to caregivers when these two skills are combined. Various studies indicate that practicing mindful meditation improves both emotional and physical well-being.

While some consider meditation and mindfulness as separate but related concepts, most all agree that they are two complimentary skills. The lines between the two seem to be blurred with some believing that you can’t do one without doing the other. Perhaps, the real question is can you be mindful without actually meditating.

Eric Harrison, Director of the Perth Meditation Centre, says they are not always exactly the same. According to Harrison, ‘meditation’ is “about body-mind stillness, detachment from thought, relaxation and rest.”

Mindfulness is the practice of being present, aware and in the moment. The mind focuses on the here and now, not troubles of the past or worries of the future.

One can choose to be mindful any time, during any day, by totally and completely focusing on only one single thought or one specific activity. An afternoon break for a cup of tea or coffee can cultivate mindfulness when the focus shifts totally to the experience. By immersing ourselves into the moment, feeling the warmth of the cup, smelling the aroma of the brew, savoring the flavor, and visualizing one of our favorite peaceful places, we can create mindfulness.

Due to increased awareness and focus on wellness principles, the practice of mindfulness meditation has become one of the most well-known types of meditation. Making this part of a daily routine, can change our attitude, behaviors and responses. In numerous studies, caregivers practicing mindfulness report being calmer and more relaxed. There is increased satisfaction and emotional wellness which helps to prevent or decrease many stress related health problems.

Happy and healthy caregivers are always going to be able to provide care in a more loving and patient manner. There are less frustrations for everyone concerned. And, at the end of the day, probably everyone will eat better, sleep better, and laugh a little more often.

Caregiver Corner by Pam Johnson

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How Much Does Stress Weigh?

2016-08-30T20:38:56Z

Well…how much does a feather weigh? If you were to hold a feather in your hand, it might seem insubstantial. It shouldn’t be difficult to hold it in your hand, palm up, and arm extended for several minutes. But, what if you continued to cradle it in your hand, unsupported, for an hour or a day or a week or a month? What seemed weightless at first soon becomes too heavy to grasp. Stress related to caring for a loved one is just like that, too. Eventually, it becomes more than one can endure.

Stress affects all of us. It’s something that most folks consider to be just part of life. Some deal with stress better than others, and each of us in our own way. But, chronic stress – the day-in-day-out stress related to the pressures of caregiving- can have serious consequences.

According to The Family Caregiver Alliance, 30-40% of dementia caregivers suffer from depression and emotional distress. Other effects of stress on a caregiver’s mental and emotional health include decrease in quality of life, greater risk for cognitive decline, and increased feelings of anger and irritability.

Family caregivers experience significant changes in their physical health, too. Some common health concerns include digestive problems, frequent headaches, and a greater propensity of viral infections. Chronic stress also increases the risk of heart disease and diabetes, as well as other serious medical problems.

To reduce or prevent some of adverse effects of stress:
Join a support group
Exercise on a regular basis
Talk to a qualified mental health professional
Make time for pleasurable activities
Be socially active and stay in touch with friends
Explore stress-reducing activities such as yoga, meditation or tai chi
Pay attention to your body’s responses
Make your emotional and physical health a priority

Research shows that caregivers are able to provide better care, when chronic stress is handled effectively.

Caregiver Corner
by Pam Kovacs Johnson

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