From Here to Autonomy

Pregnancy Journal Entry #1: Unintended insults by H-band

Jory Des Jardins — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 09:58:00 -0700

Really I shouldn't complain--he's been unbelievably supportive. But there are a few zingers: --Wow, look at that happy trail! --Linea negra what? No I'm pretty sure that's a happy trail. --I'll just assume that was one of the "mood swings" they mentioned in the book.--I thought you started losing hair AFTER pregnancy. --It's OK, Sweetie. We'll work it off together. --No really, let ME make the meals when she starts eating. --I'm not trying to make you feel bad; I'm sure that having gas is perfectly normal. I'm just amazed there's room for so much air in your tummy when...

Mother's guilt begins: Contemplating third trimester travel

Jory Des Jardins — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 17:49:53 -0700

A few weeks ago I went to my monthly appointment with my midwife, a gal I've moved heaven and earth (translation: moved to a more expensive insurance plan) to keep. Every few weeks, as I get more and more uncovered lab invoices and anticipate the biggie to come--the hospital bill--I remind myself that I chose this situation. I chose this insurance plan because it includes in its network the hospital where my midwife works, and I really, really like my midwife. She's been in the midwifery business for years, she came very well recommended, and when we met I said...

Women's work?

Jory Des Jardins — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 14:35:19 -0700

Part of my experimentation with my new neighborhood involved trying a new place for a mani-pedi. This didn't come with a small amount of apprehension; a good mani-pedi place is hard to find. I got comfortable in my chair, settling into the warm pool of water at my feet. An Asian man--not older than 35--lifted my right hand. "What shape?" "Short and square," I replied. "This color on your hands and feet?" he asked, holding up the bottle of deep red that I had picked out when I walked in. "Please." I watched this man study my cuticles and start...

Preggers

Jory Des Jardins — Sat, 22 May 2010 13:05:53 -0700

I saw a line, and a lighter line next to it. I read the box again; negative would be just one line. Any second line, light or equally dark, meant yep--with child. Or with embryo, or multiplying cell mass, whatever you want to call it. "What's taking you so long?" H-band said, walking into the bathroom. I'd been taking longer than usual to get ready for our Saturday morning stroll for coffee. I handed him the piece of plastic I had been studying. "We're pregnant." I said, perhaps too casually. I'd said that one time before, and devastatingly it didn't...

Where did all my hobbies go?

Jory Des Jardins — Sat, 08 May 2010 12:36:19 -0700

My business partner, Lisa, passed along a questionnaire from a blogger who will be writing about the working habits of female entrepreneurs. Both Lisa and my other partner, Elisa, had responded; I tried not to read their answers as I approached the questions, but I couldn't help but notice that our answers were eerily similar--with the exception that, as a parent, Lisa spends about 1/3 of her time parenting. Elisa and I try to eak in workouts, books/TV and the occasional cooked meal when we're not working or sleeping. What amazed me about all of our responses: --Our hours worked:...

Real Advice on Public Speaking

Jory Des Jardins — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 11:59:35 -0700

I got a kick out of reading Tim Ferriss's post on how he prepares for a public speaking gig. Ironically Ferriss, author of The 4-Hour Workweek, could take up an entire four-hour work week with just his recommended prep alone. Still, I appreciated his no-nonsense approach to getting things done, and in this post his candid admission, despite much acclaim and speaking opportunities, of not being a natural public speaker. I can totally relate. People who know me probably think that's disingenuous coming from me, an extrovert, a Gemini, a communicator. But it's true. Sure I love to talk, but...

The Rush: An entrepreneur's inevitable making

Jory Des Jardins — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 12:22:28 -0700

Becoming a woman wasn't something I looked forward to. Despite having read every Judy Blume book that existed, the thought of sprouting boobs and menstruation terrified me. When the time came I was getting changed after gym class. I felt "the rush", and I panicked. I threw on the rest of my clothes and ran to my drama class. About a fourth of the way into the class, right before we were to break into groups to practice a scene, I realized that I couldn't hold off any longer. I had to handle this--this new truth that I was hoping...

Death of an Entrepreneur

Jory Des Jardins — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 17:38:22 -0700

Somewhere around age 45 my father decided he didn't want to work anymore. He didn't tell anyone this; he may not even have told himself. He'd started his own business about ten years before and had worked like crazy. Dad's experience was in automotive print advertising sales and he'd developed a client base among local car dealerships. When he left the corporate world he had a network of clients ready to hire him to promote their dealership sales events. Some people say my Dad could sell anything. Dad was successful initially through sheer force of will. Though his job was...

Why I don't care that low numbers of women are receiving VC funding

Jory Des Jardins — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 17:54:41 -0700

My first semester in college I went with some sorority sisters to a set-up (these were small parties that paired a sorority with a fraternity, and for which you were often "set up" with a date from that fraternity. The concept seems almost ludicrous to me now, given the potential room for mis-matches, but I digress). One of my pledge sisters asked me if I had a problem "being set up with a black guy." The question threw me. I'd noticed, shall we say, homogeneity among my corn-fed, flat-accented, Midwestern sisters. But I'd gone to a racially diverse high school...

The Back-Up Parent

Jory Des Jardins — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 14:47:53 -0800

My sister teaches college history in NYC. From the looks of it she has one of those dream jobs that allows for full-time employment and flexibility. Twice a week she comes into the city early to teach class and meet with students, and the other days she works from home, where she works full-time. The days she is in the city her husband drops the kids off at day care and the school bus stop, but she comes home early to pick them up, make dinner, and most times bathe them and put them to bed. Her husband's job is...