From Meredith to Mommy

Car Seat Math - Room for All of Us!

2016-03-08T20:13:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago, my sister and I decided to bring all three girls to a birthday party two hours away. Recently, our cousins moved within day trip distance, they have kids close in age, and we love knowing that the kids can grow up knowing each other well. So while we wouldn't normally drive two hours through a major city for a birthday party, in this particular case we were excited to make the trip.

As we planned when to leave, where to stop en route, who would bring the coffee, we realized we had another road trip situation.

She drives a five seat car. I drive a five seat car. Actually, we drive the same car. And this car has an issue we hadn't thought about.

We can't fit three kids in car seats in the backseat. Five people, five seats...and somehow the math still doesn't work. I asked around and found that this is a pretty common problem with most carseats and most backseats. Car seats are big, and if you have one on each side, there isn't much room in the middle. I didn't think that every family with three kids had to own a three row SUV or a minivan, but in my straw poll, that seemed to be the only way families could make it work.

So as we planned our trip, it looked like our choices were either to take two cars (which seemed stupid), rent a bigger car (which seemed stupid), or start experimenting with how to fit three children in a backseat, safely and comfortably.

We were able to make it work with minimal stress. I did know that child could comfortably fit in the middle seat without a car seat. I'm usually out of the car pool rotation because of this car seat/backseat situation, but on rare occasions when it's necessary I've made it work for older kids who meet the requirements to be out of a booster. Madison still uses a high back car seat, but technically she meets the requirements to be in a regular booster. So all we had to do was fit a booster seat in the middle. It took a few tries and some measuring, but we finally found the Bubble Bum. It's only 13 inches, so it squeezed right into the middle and kept the seat belt positioned correctly, and we had a great road trip.

But the whole situation got me thinking - what are some options for moms who can't, or don't want, to upgrade their car, but need to engineer a way to get three kids sitting safely in a standard backseat. I did some research and I found that the puzzle can be solved with some up front thinking when you're car seat shopping. There's a slew of seats that can fit three across - just be ready with some measurements and some basic math (and a plan for helping that middle child buckle!)

We made it work once, and now we know we can! When we head off to our next adventure, we'll road trip it again!

Organizational Challenges

2016-02-24T17:14:00.000-05:00

Another birthday, another influx of toys.

Reagan is about to turn four. Birthdays when you're four are exciting. She's been checking out the toy aisles for weeks, wondering what this birthday will bring. Since Christmas she's developed a few new interests, and she was very excited to start her collections.

My organizational style for toys is to set the kids up for success when it's time to clean up. It's much easier to tackle the toy soup when you know what you're looking for. We have an organizer that works well. We have a bin for Barbie. A bin for Disney Princesses. A bin for Paw Patrol. A bin for Strawberry Shortcake. When it's time to clean up, they grab a bin and go hunting.

The biggest challenge with this sort of system happens right after Christmas and birthdays. We get a new "variety" of toy that doesn't fit. It doesn't have a bin, or a box, and there isn't quite enough to justify one. If you have one pony, one character, what do you do?

What I ended up using for these lone stragglers were these boxes. The handles let them be easily carried from room to room. We started using these to house the girls' weekly surprises. They're sturdy, they're translucent enough to see what's inside, and they work well to house the strays that conspire to confuse our cleanup.

It's hard to manage birthday presents from friends, but an easy way to "try out" a new toy that you aren't sure about is to use a system like Pley. Pley allows you to rent toys like building sets and character sets, and then return them to get a new one. If you love a set deeply and want to start a collection, you know what to ask for. If it's a "fun for a few weeks" set that you won't add to, there's no harm in trying things out.

When it comes to organizing toys for easy clean up, what's your biggest challenge?

DIY Washer Fluid

2016-02-06T17:09:00.000-05:00

I've gotten into a DIY cleaner kick lately. I'm by no means a crunchy, anti-shopping person (I'm actually the exact opposite of that person), but there's something to be said for knowing exactly what you're working with, and knowing that you can always have it on hand. My stain remover is my absolute favorite, and now I'm branching out.

Recently I started making my own washer fluid for the car. This stuff is available everywhere, and it's cheap. But like most things that are available everywhere, I always walk right by it and forget that I'll need it. Then I'm out at the most inconvenient time. But once I found this DIY method, I know that I'll always have the ability to have it on hand, and it works really well!

Bargain Hunting Everywhere!

2016-02-05T16:51:00.000-05:00

I'm one step away from being a crazy coupon lady. I love bargain shopping. When I come home from the grocery store, the first thing I do is tell Adam what my savings percentage was. I recently had to buy the girls some fancy dresses, and I walked out of Gymboree with a $30 receipt for $100 worth of dresses. I'm a big fan of saving.

Store saving, that is. Shopping saving. When it comes to saving on my bills, I get nervous. I hate making phone calls and most of the time I'm under the impression that bills are bills and there's not much that can be done. But now that more can be done online with research and comparison, and I feel confident finding savings everywhere.

A little while ago I wrote about saving on utility bills, and now I'm tackling auto insurance. We've been with the same company for quite a while, and we barely glance at the bill. This ended up biting us recently (a car we thought we'd removed from our policy was still active) and we realized we need to make sure we're on top of our savings.

How often do you review your policy to make sure you're getting the best deal?

Getting the Girls on Board

2016-01-31T16:36:00.000-05:00

Over the past month we've been on a big organization/new routine/get caught up push. I'm organizing all the paper, I'm getting the house and the car back on track, I'm getting into a good routine for myself. I won't say that I'm loving the process, or that I've gone full on KonMari or anything, but I am loving the results. I love walking into the master bedroom and not seeing piles of clutter. I love knowing that our school things are organized.

It's been a good month, and man, does it feel good to say that.

The latest thing is really getting the girls on board with our good routine and clutter-lite life (I'm not so bold as to say we're clutter free). They used to have a decent routine of cleaning up their toys, but then our schedule got crazy, and just when we got a handle on that, life got crazy and Adam and I totally dropped the ball with any reinforcement.

So...yeah. The girls followed our lead and got very lazy about cleaning up their toys. I can't even really blame them for it. I was slacking, Adam was slacking, and with that kind of example, it's a wonder they didn't go completely feral.

But once the grown ups woke up and got our acts together, we knew there was some retraining that had to take place. There were plenty of new Christmas toys fighting for space with the old toys, and most nights we were turning in with the old toys still all over the rug. We spent a lot of time searching for water bottles that were scattered throughout the house, and had some frustrating moments of realizing that the charge on the iPad was completely depleted because it hadn't found its way back to the charger. Reagan's room was semi-cluttered and messy, but Madison's was starting to look like a full day project. These were clearly responsibilities of the children, but they had to be (re)trained.

Back in the beginning of the year, we needed to start an incentive program to encourage Reagan to behave outside of the house. Reagan is an awesome, smart, spirited and stubborn kid, and, although she professed to love all her outside activities, I wasn't getting the best reports. We heard she was digging her heels in at school when asked to do things that she didn't want to do, and she was opting to sit against the wall for the majority of dance. Not because she didn't like it, but because she could.

So since Reagan's currency is "blind bags", I filled up a box and told her she could open a surprise every single Friday as long as she:

danced during dance class
participated in gymnastics and
got a good report from preschool.

That's it. And judging by the fact that she was instantly able to do all these things without a bit of protest told me that this really was a stubborn thing.

Of course, because Reagan was getting a surprise every Friday, Madison turned green with envy and asked how she could earn surprises. Madison is mostly easygoing and obeys, so I struggled a bit to find behaviors to adjust, but finally we settled on:

was responsible for her dance bag, water bottle, tennis gear, etc.
didn't complain about schoolwork and
remembered to practice her solo.

Madison too was able to adjust instantly and got a surprise every Friday.

So on we trooped, through September, October, November, December, giving a treat every Friday for basically no effort. The behavior chart equivalent of a participation trophy.

Obviously, if we wanted to actually make these Friday boxes worth something, we needed to change something. We kept the boxes, but told the girls that we were starting new responsibility charts. We started easy - the bare minimum they were expected to do every day. Some things were no brainers - hang up your coat, put your dishes in the sink, put your clothes in the hamper. Some were expected, but easy to "forget" - pick up the toys, put the iPad on the charger. And some were new - ten minutes of tidying bedrooms, making their own beds daily, doing daily household chores like sweeping the kitchen floor and wiping down counters. Finally, we look at the overall day and decide if it was a "good day".

If they get more check marks than Xes over the course of the week, they get their reward. That's it. A bad day won't destroy you, and the little things add up.

Since we started this, we no longer have to hunt down water bottles. We aren't tripping over coats and shoes. Beds are made daily, and ten minutes of room clean up a night has taken potentially overwhelming messes to rooms that are easily maintained. The toys are organized again, so cleaning up daily isn't an issue.

We talked the girls before we started this about how everyone in our family needed to reboot and get back on board with working together to keep our house a nice place to live. The girls see their parents making their bed daily and cleaning up their rooms, and they understand that they need to do their part. They are starting to feel satisfaction in going to bed with a day full of check marks, and they're being careful not to make any huge messes that will be difficult to clean before bed. Fewer toys out means an easier job later, and they like that.

Now that Madison is really into Legos (which happened after Christmas, naturally), we're talking about taking advantage of something like Pley. I love the idea of getting a new set to build, but sending it back before you get the next, and I think Madison is starting to get on board. Pley really encourages kids to kick the clutter habit before it gets out of control, and that's never a bad idea.

As the girls get older, the systems we put in place will grow with them. They'll share more responsibilities and the way we use incentives will obviously change too. But right now, baby steps have made a big difference, and I'll take it.

Saving in the New Year - Paying Off Your Car

2016-01-30T19:45:00.000-05:00

Can you tell that we've had a January of savings? Adam and I have really taken a good look at all those numbers that make my head hurt. It is NOT fun, but it's necessary.

After we settled on where we are now, we started talking about when we're going to make our next big purchase - a new "family" car - and how we'll be planning for that. I've been rambling on and on about wanting a minivan so that we can carpool, fit everything we haul around comfortably, and generally cement my role as suburban mom. Adam makes fun of me, but we've pretty much decided that unless I change my mind, that'll be our next car. Even though I'd love to see it in my driveway tomorrow, the reality is that we won't be doing that for at least another year. We want the girls to be a bit older when we introduce a new car, so that they have a little more pride in taking care of it.

Wishful thinking, I know.

In the past, we've always had a great in when it comes to car buying. Adam's dad was a salesman, so obviously we felt pretty confident buying from him. Now he's retired and we're going in without that family connection, and taking on another debt is something that every family needs to really examine, no matter what your situation is. One of the things we've been doing with our mortgage is using some small strategies with the goal being to pay it off early. With only a little bit of tweaking, we can do that with our next car purchase as well!

Making the Move to the Booster

2016-01-28T20:30:00.001-05:00

Every time I look at Madison lately, I feel like she has gotten so much older. She looks older, she speaks older, she acts older. She's reading and she's writing. She's dancing a solo this year. She carries a purse and actually keeps track of it. She can open things by herself. She makes her own breakfast and lunch. She doesn't need as much help. I look at her and think wow, she's getting so OLD.

Then she usually does something like talk in a baby voice or has a crying meltdown or digs her heels in about something incredibly illogical and I remember she is only five.

But at any rate, there's no denying that she's getting older. She's growing up and she's shedding the final pieces of her "little kid" persona. My baby is very definitely not a baby anymore.

So now the big question is...when is she a big kid in the car?

Car seats can be such a touchy subject. People are so passionate and outspoken. I do believe that their hearts are in the right place, but sometimes I just want to cringe when I hear someone ask an honest question and basically get told they are a horrible human being for forward facing a two year old or having a four year old in a booster seat.

We probably moved Madison from her infant seat to a forward facing harness too early. She was just about eighteen months (before you write me off completely, please know that the standard was still a year to "turn them around"). We'd left her in her rear facing infant seat because she fit and was comfortable, but when she was eighteen months, I was also nine months pregnant with a baby who would need that seat to come home from the hospital. She was big enough, she was over a year, and we needed that seat. So we moved her to her "big girl" seat - a 3-in-1 combination seat.

And four years later, she's still in that seat and still harnessed. We've moved the straps up gradually, but that seat has seen her through the toddler and preschool years, harnessed and happy. When Reagan outgrew that infant seat, we got a second, identical seat for her, and the two girls love their "matching car seats". Now Madison is starting to get to the tippy top of the height limit, and we need to make the decision of what to do now.

Height, weight, age, and behavior wise, she's ready to go to a high back booster. As far as I can tell, she's one of only a few kids we know still harnessed. When we do manage to carpool, she sits in a booster seat and does absolutely fine. When we bought a second seat for Adam's car, it was a booster. She does great in it.

Losing the harness just seems like such a big step these days. At the same time, I've done my research, I've gone through all the requirements, and she's ready. Now I just need to bite the bullet and do it.

It's steps like this - little, but monumental at the same time. I feel like I'll blink and she'll be climbing into the back seat, totally unencumbered by a car seat. Then I'll blink again and she'll be sitting up front next to me, chatting about her day. Once more, and she'll be taking the wheel.

What are some other steps that feel small and big, all at the same time?

DIY Window Cleaner

2016-01-25T20:47:00.000-05:00

I've been on a huge Pinterest kick lately. Not really sure why, but I've been obsessed with finding new recipes, new school activities, new organizational methods, everything. And now that I can print directly from my phone...yeah. I'm loving Pinterest.

I'm probably the least DIY type person around. I am NOT a crafty mom who upcycles everything. I've tried to repurpose old baby things and give them fresh new uses and...no. Just no. Sell that stuff to consignment and buy what you need. But with my new Pinterest kick I've found something that I do love. DIY cleaners.

I'm not anti-chemical at all, but I love that I can control the scent and power of the cleaner, and I really love that most of these formulas are much more effective than what I can buy!

Yesterday I was fed up with my car being coated with salt and grime from the winter roads, so I took it through the car wash (therefore ensuring that another winter storm will hit us within days). When I use the car wash, I go all out and get the "full service". Full service at my particular car wash includes vacuuming, a quick wipe down of the dashboard, and window cleaning.

The guys kept up their friendly banter as they vacuumed and sprayed and wiped, and then I drove into the actual wash to get the exterior done. A shiny car, inside and out. Love it.

But when I pulled out, directly into the setting sun, I was blinded by a cloudy, streaky windshield. Honestly, I think it was cleaner before I washed it. I don't know if it was a grimy rag or an ineffective spray, but it was not what I was expecting. Boo.

DIY window cleaner came to my rescue this time. It was incredibly easy to make, it smells great, and I don't feel like I'm looking through a fun house mirror when I stare into the winter sun.

Still not crafty, still not crunchy, still love store bought perfection. But I suppose that some DIY is for me after all.

Top Eight Reasons to Use a Paper Planner

2016-01-22T15:32:00.001-05:00

So recently, I've written about journals, and thank you notes. And pens. And to-do lists written on actual paper. And pretty paper and stamps and all those antiquated tools that produce actual paper with actual writing on them. In 2016 I may as well just admit that I'm a dinosaur.

I mean, I love my technology as much as the next girl. I've got my Kindle (actually, I have a new Kindle that is still in the "to do" pile awaiting set up, but that's a topic for another day). I use my phone as a camera and a shopping mall and everything in between. I just fell in love with Peapod and when I do actually wander the aisles at the grocery store, I use their amazing scan-as-you-go device so I can even streamline my self check out. I'm happy to simplify when technology lets me do it.

But in other areas of life, I'm on the other side. I'm happy to read books on my Kindle, but I like my magazines to be paper. I have a few bills online, but I insist on writing checks for most expenses. I love my phone and social media, but I make zero use of the calendar.

I'm not kidding. Zero. I was emailing Adam some dates recently, and he told me to "just send him a calendar invite" and I had to admit that I've never used my Google calendar and wasn't exactly sure how to do that. When he tried to explain it, I basically said that I wasn't going to do that.

I heart paper planners. BIG paper planners. Yes. I'm a weirdo. Ever since I got my first Erin Condren planner two years ago, I was in love and decided to never use anything else, even though my friends make fun of me when I pull my giant planner out of my giant mom purse.

Here are the Top Eight Reasons, from the logical to the frivilous, for using a giant paper planner in 2016.

8. They're pretty.

Seriously. Have you looked? Really looked? They are so freaking cute. I've always gotten my name personalized on my life planner, but this year I went all out and the entire cover is personalized for me. I made a list of my "favorite things" and those words are the background for my cover, scrolling across the planner in rainbow colors, reminding me of what I love. Just looking at my planner makes me happy.

The organizing part of me LOVES this picture. SO PRETTY AND USEFUL.

And don't even get me started on the accessories. Stickers. Pens. Washi tape. Matching writing pads. If I had unlimited disposable income or a gift card to Erin Condren, I could go crazy.

7. The pockets.

My purse is a black hole. Appointment cards, preschool fliers, receipts for stuff that I'll probably return. Random papers that the girls leave their activities with.

The advantage of my giant planner? Pockets. If I write something down that relied on a flier, I tuck the flier in the pocket and star the event. Once it's passed, I find the paper and recycle. But the actual paper is there when I need it. I'm not trying to find an attachment on an email. Digital shmigital.

6. They're flexible.

When I first started using these big planners, each day was divided into morning/afternoon/evening. A column for to-do and a column for notes. A good basic idea, but not how I used my planner. I had calendar stuff mixed in with what we were eating. So I started using stickers and personalizing what I needed in that planner.

But now....

The days are still divided into three, but they aren't labeled. You figure out what you need. Generally speaking, mine go Calendar/Household (meal plan/daily chores)/To-Do (writing and other). I don't use the monthly calendar, but all the regular activities and the sporadic ones, along with Adam's travel are in that top third. The middle is where I keep track of our week, and the bottom is where I do all those other things.

This is the beginning of next week. By Sunday it'll be a bit more cluttered.

Basically? If you're tracking workouts? You can. Errands? Sure. School projects? Go for it. You aren't trying to fit into an app. It's paper. It can work for you.

5. They don't rely on a battery, a wifi signal, or a data plan.

Right? Even if my battery dies or I get that scary text message that 75% of my data for the month has been used (before the month is 75% over), my planner is going to function just fine. And as much as I prefer my fancy pens, in a pinch, any writing utensil will do. Dinosaur for the organizing win.

4. They're the ultimate All in One.

My meal plan. My to do list. My calendar. My bill due dates. My paperwork. My everything. Everything fits in my giant planner.

This is how I plan out when to write. Does it always work? Nope, but at least I can SEE it.

3. They don't ask annoying questions.

Here is what happens when I try to use an electronic organizing system. Open app. Select date. Select time. Select type. Type details on tiny keyboard that doesn't both me when I'm texting, but bothers me plenty when I'm dealing with a calendar. Then the app starts asking me questions.

"Do you want a reminder?"

"Do you want an email?"

"Do you want push notifications?"

"What kind of alarm?"

ARGH.

Then someone asks me a question. Let's say they're wondering if we can do something after school, or what kind of tights we need for the jazz costume.

Hold on, I think that'll work. Let me pull up my calendar. Then my task list. Then my to do for Wednesday. Subsection shopping. Wait, here's the picture I took of that flier with exactly what we need. Oh, hold on. App stopped. Force stop. Reboot. Enter password.

No.

2. The act of writing helps me remember.

When I was in college, I was an aural learner. If I was in class and actually listening, chances are I'd remember about 75-80% of the material. I have a crazy memory for that sort of thing. But when you're talking about a semester's worth of material appearing on a final exam, I did need to do some form of studying. And there was no way I was going to re-listen to an entire semester's worth of classes, so a recorder was out.

What worked for me was both note taking and note copying. When I was an undergrad, a good amount of classes were the sort that allowed you to bring in one page of notes. That meant that I had to re-read and re-write my notes onto one page. By the time I did that the words were cemented into my brain. I barely glanced at that sheet again. The act of writing is a powerful tool for my memory.

Therefore, when I write out my week in my planner, it's like my study session. Now I remember what we're having for dinner, what days are crazy and who needs to be where wearing what. When I don't write it down is when it flits right out of my brain. And typing, for whatever reason, isn't the same. Plus, you know, when I've dealt with all the app nonsense my brain has totally tuned out.

1. They're a perfect conversation starter.

If I meet another planner person, we start talking about what kind of planner we have and what kind of planner we used to use and the pens and all of this stuff I already rambled on about. And if I meet someone who looks at me like I'm a crazy dinosaur, we start, well, talking about all this stuff I already rambled on about. Maybe they're like my husband, and they have a digital organizer that works for them and they can't imagine living without. Or maybe, they're a planner convert just waiting to happen.

Surprisingly, this post was not sponsored by Erin Condren. If you buy via my link I get a referral bonus, but that's the same deal anyone in the world gets. I just really love these planners. You know, in case that wasn't clear.

Tips to Improve Your Gas Mileage

2016-01-17T15:34:00.000-05:00

Getting organized.

Saving money.

Developing routines.

Maximizing efficiency.

For someone who doesn't "do" resolutions, I've spent the past few weeks in a bit of an overhaul. I've cleaned out junk piles, I've developed new and better routines, I've streamlined my planner, I've gotten rid of clutter and I've organized what's left.

Maybe the trick is NOT to do a resolution, since I'm certain that if I had, it would be broken by now.

Anyway...

When it comes to saving money, there are things that are easy to fix, and things that are more difficult. Some savings are immediate, but some take time. Adam and I took a little while to figure out some of the less obvious ways that might not show an immediate impact, but will make a big difference overall. Turning lights off, lowering the temp by a few degrees, that sort of thing. We also decided to take a good look at our gas mileage to see what we could do to save a few pennies there.

Sure, gas prices have gone down, but saving on gas is still something we focus on. I love using reward points from the grocery store and I'm particular about finding the best places to fill up, but we also investigated some tips that will help us fill up less frequently.

Little things that make a big difference!

Cleaning Floor Mats

2016-01-16T15:21:00.000-05:00

I don't know about you, but I'm not a winter girl. I do not care for the cold. I don't love dealing with the snow. I hate all the extra layers to get onto kids who don't like coats to begin with. I hate all the weather related cancelations that just mess us up. And of course, I hate the mess that winter seems to bring.

It's funny. I know some people think of spring as being muddy, or summer as being sandy, but for some reason, nothing seems messier to me than the snow and salt and slush and grit that winter drags in. Sure, the snow is beautiful when it falls, but within hours it's just a mess. And no matter how many shoe rules we try to institute, my kitchen floor ends up needing to be mopped much more frequently.

Not only that, but the floor mats in the car take a huge beating. I've got my all-weather mats down, but even with that, the carpet mats underneath are just gross. Feet are stepping from dirty parking lots right onto those mats every single day. Yuck.

I did get into a good schedule of cleaning and vacuuming my car, but when the mats look dirty, it doesn't matter how much vacuuming you do. They're going to look dirty, even after a good vacuum. When I was cruising Pinterest I found this technique to get your mats looking fresh and new, and it was actually incredibly effective. I don't even want to KNOW how much grit I washed off, but I like the result!

What is your strategy for keeping your car floors clean?

Getting Creative with Savings

2016-01-14T11:04:00.000-05:00

The other day, Adam and I were sitting down doing all that grown up stuff that makes me want to stick my fingers in my ears and cover my eyes. We were doing a closer look at our budget. What comes in, what goes out, where it goes, does it need to go there...la la la...I can't hear you. I hate these conversations, because it feels like we're pretty hard working, well educated, intelligent people, and these conversations are still incredibly stressful. If I were a Powerball winner, I'd probably still be stressed over these things. Maybe not as stressed, but...you know, I take that back. I'd get therapy and adjust.

Anyway, we didn't go into the conversation thinking we'd make any major changes in providers, but as we started really looking at our bills, it started to make sense. Rather than just add the oil company, or the internet provider, or our car insurance, or the electric bill to our list of "output", shouldn't we see what else was out there?

Coincidentally, Direct Energy asked me to share some of their New Year’s deals with you right around that time, and I realized it was the perfect time to share my own family’s efforts to save money and get a little smarter about budgeting.

Lately we've talking about budgeting with Madison. We had planned to start an allowance system with her this fall, but it didn't happen yet. I think that once things settle down, we'll find the system that works best for us. Still, Madison has found herself in possession of some coins and bills from grandparents and the tooth fairy. She has a piggy bank that's started to fill up, and she's become very interested in what that money can do for her.

Not only that, but this past Christmas she got several gift cards. As part of our school day recently, we sat down and took inventory. As the total grew, I could see her eyes lighting up with the possibilities. Trips to Toys R Us were dancing in her mind, with the bonus of not hearing the word NO once she got there. Both girls are actually very good when we shop - window shopping is accepted as the norm, anything else is a bonus - but now it would be her choice.

So after she had finished her schoolwork, we packed up our purses and rolled over to Toys R Us. And I was filled with pride that some of my teaching had stuck.

She started filling a basket with things that caught her eye. Shopkins, Tsum Tsums, Lego sets. After gorging herself, we walked over to a price checker to get an accurate tally. As the numbers flashed up, her face dropped a bit. She had more than enough gift card to cover the items she'd selected...but then it would be gone, and she'd be in a tight spot for a while.

It was one item in particular that made me realize that she's starting to "get it". We'd been to Target the previous day and she'd been looking at the Shopkins there. They were $9.99 at Target, and $14.99 at Toys R Us.

"Mom! That is a BIG difference! Why do they cost more money here? That doesn't seem fair."

"It's the way stores work. You have to make a choice. We're here, and you have a card, and it's easy. But you'd be paying more money."

Ultimately she decided that two new things were all she needed, and her grand total was about a tenth of her budget. She decided that she could "wait for a sale", or "use her other money at Target".

That's a good lesson for us too. We've always had the same provider for electric, and we just accept it, because it's easy. But that doesn't mean it isn't overpriced. And if a five and a half year old can figure out that sometimes it's worth crunching the numbers than going with what's easy, I think we can try.

Why is Direct Energy such a smart choice? It offers a fixed-rate energy plan: your electricity rate won’t fluctuate throughout your contract term. Even if you aren’t a CT resident, Direct Energy offers different savings depending on where you live – plug in your zipcode on the landing page to learn about the offers available in your area. You can also score big with Direct Energy as it’s the only energy provider to be a part of Plenti, which allows you to earn monthly rewards.

This story was sponsored by Direct Energy, but the excitement of cutting our bills is all my own!

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Keeping a Journal

2016-01-13T20:08:00.002-05:00

A few months ago, I started keeping a journal again. A regular old bound book of pages that I would write in.

I started like I start most things. I wrote consistently for a few days, and then it fell by the wayside. At the time, we had a tiny bit of dance drama going on, and I was trying to puzzle a lot of it out without driving Adam or my friends crazy. Then I got busy or I missed a few days and because I hadn't yet made it a habit, it got lost.

Then this past December I was clearing off my nightstand, and I unearthed that journal again. I read my last entry, smiling and shaking my head as you do when you look at what seemed like such a big issue at the time, but you'd trade your right arm to be dealing with now, and picked up my pen again.

And now it's a habit.

I'm so glad that it's a habit now. The more I make it a priority, to empty my mind every night before I go to bed, the more I like it.

I was talking to a friend about it the other day, and she was surprised to hear that I was keeping an actual paper and pen journal. I basically replied that I'm a writer. I deal in words, and getting those words out has been a great routine to get into.

Her face didn't lose the puzzled expression.

"But you have a blog," she said. "Isn't a blog basically a journal? Why would you write something twice?"

It's a good question, but it has an easy answer. I'm not writing things twice. This blog? Not the same as a journal. Not even close.

To make it onto my blog, I plan out a topic. I take pictures and edit them (via picmonkey, and even if you're not a blogger, it's a GREAT site for editing). I find links. I write, and I read, and I edit. Sometimes I edit more than others, but I do edit. Then I publish, and I share, and I want people to read, because I want those thoughts out and public. I know what I want to say.

My journal is private. And it's so different. It's not a coherent essay. It's a brain dump.

Sometimes it's where I vent when I feel like my friends are tired of hearing it.

I mean, let's be honest. Even my best friends have got to be tired of my mind circling around the same stressful issue. No one wants someone who is a fountain of negativity ALL the time.

Sometimes it's a place to work things out.

Most of the time, I can figure out what I need to do. Or say. Or whatever. But I need to get it out somewhere to see that.

Sometimes it's just the mundane details that you might not care about.

Writing a piece most parents can relate to? Sure. Writing about the specific mundane details of my day? Or the same thing five days in a row? No. Don't even pretend you care.

It's hard to get a piece ready to publish, but a journal lets me get the words out immediately.

Some of my journal entries do work their way onto this site. But that's after I've brain dumped them. And re-read them. And puzzled them out. And have something concrete to really SAY.

It's a good example for Madison.

Madison knows I have a journal. It's not locked up or hidden. Reagan...well, she probably knows, but doesn't really care. I've talked to Madison about respecting my privacy, but that writing, like reading, is good for our minds. And journal writing is pure WRITING. You can write in fragments. You can use crazy caps. And it doesn't matter. You just take those thoughts out of your brain and put them onto paper, any way you want to. Because she knows that I write before bed, she's taken to writing herself. I told her that if she wants to show me, it's fine, but if she doesn't, that's ok too. This isn't "school".

Now it's a habit. And it's a good one. Every night, I take whatever has been swirling around in my head, whatever conversations that I've imagined, whatever I wish I would have said, whatever would be swirling around as I tried to fall asleep, and I take my my fancy pens (that I love above any other, and have a set for home and for my purse), and I get it out.

As habits go, I'll take it.

Thank You Notes

2016-01-11T17:34:00.001-05:00

Here I go...tackling an incredibly divisive topic.

The thank you note.

Honestly, I had no idea this was a divisive topic until recently, when articles starting popping up with titles like "Why I Don't Write Thank You Notes", "Why I Still Write Thank You Notes", and even "Please Don't Write Me a Thank You Note".

People have opinions on this topic. Strong ones. And they will defend them vehemently. You have people who assert that they will never again purchase a gift or do anything for someone who didn't write them a card, and you have people who insist that it is environmentally irresponsible to do any such thing and they are annoyed that these card fill their mailbox at all.

Man, people get passionate about the little things. Were people always this firmly ensconced in their camps, or is this a social media don't you dare judge me because I judge you first development?

Anyway, I'm not here to debate the topic. Go off into your corners and strategize and I'll sit here like Switzerland with good chocolate, closing my ears to conflict. Personally, this isn't something that I have incredibly strong feelings on. When I give a gift it's nice to get a thank you note, but if I don't get one, I'll assume that you got busy.

In this house, however, we send thank you notes. Well, we try, and most of the time we're successful. That was drilled into me from childhood. If you got something, you sent a note. A specific note no less, acknowledging exactly what you received and why you're thankful for it. I remember growing up and having to have my Christmas notes done before returning to school in January. I've carried that with me as I've grown up. I send thank you notes. That goes, whether or not we were together when the gift was opened an in-person thank you was said. Doesn't matter. We do notes.

Sidenote: there have been a few times when I've dropped the ball. Sometimes life happens. Like I said, I'm not fighting to the death on this. In fact, I haven't managed to mail our Christmas thank you notes yet. So please, no comments that say "NO! Remember Madison's third birthday? I did NOT get a note". I'm sure you're right. But no fighting in Switzerland.

Up until this year, I've handled the note writing for anything involving the entire family, the girls, and me. I tell Adam to handle his own birthday, but I do everything else. When it comes to the girls, I've learned to make it easy on myself. I order picture cards from Shutterfly (or somewhere comparable) and have the girls dictate a sentence to me to write on the back about why they like whatever it was. This way, the giver gets a recent picture of the girls and a note, and I only have to write one sentence per card. Feels like win/win to me.

This year, however, Madison is ready to take on her own notes. For me, this means that I have gone from spending about an hour total ordering, to approximately 491 hours as she realizes that she forgot a word or spelled one wrong and needs another card, because of course this is a situation for fancy pens, or standing over her, feeding her the spelling one letter at a time.

We made it through one note, which took approximately an hour of our lives and would be difficult to read for anyone who isn't a current kindergarten teacher, before I decided there had to be a better way. I didn't want to let her off the hook. After all, I had just schooled her, as my mom schooled me, in the etiquette and she's been happily on board. So to throw in the towel didn't seem right. But grown up thank you notes like I send weren't there yet.

What did seem to fit the bill were these fill in thank you notes. The bulk of the writing is done, but Madison can still add her own personal touch and take some ownership.

You'll never change a life long thank you note writer. When someone tells me not to send one, I get very uncomfortable. I may drop the ball, but then I'll own the guilt. When I'm told not to...can't handle that.

We don't need to make this a war. I'll never judge you for not sending one, if you'll let me hang onto my old school etiquette and pass that onto my girls. In a world of text messages, we'll be the surprise in your mailbox.

Why You Should Use a Car Maintenance Log

2016-01-10T14:55:00.000-05:00

After a rough fall, where Adam and I both felt that we were slogging through the motions, we've taken to the new year with energy and enthusiasm for getting things done. A few weeks ago we both snapped back into action, and we've been cleaning and purging and organizing, giving 2016 a true, fresh start.

When we get into these states we definitely want to take advantage of the mindset and attack the little issues as well as the big ones. It's all fine and good to say we want to tackle the basement or the pantry, but sometimes we get just as much satisfaction from sprucing up a drawer or refreshing the calendar.

I've been systematically working on everything car related lately. It's no secret that I'm longing for a new ride, but until that happens, there's no reason I can't maximize my efficiency in the one I'm using every day. I tackled the trunk and the glove box, but while I was in there, I decided to spruce up my car maintenance log.

It's a little thing, but having that book up to date again makes me feel so much more confident when I bring my car in for service and have to answer questions. My glove box now truly feels like command central, and not just a place to store receipts. Check out this post to see how I set up my own after the dealership one stopped working for me.

Do you keep a maintenance log? Does it help you?

Acts of Kindness - Blessing Bags

2016-01-09T13:57:00.000-05:00

Lately the girls and I have been talking a lot about money. Madison understands money more now, and Reagan is getting to the age where she is aware of money. When we shop, they ask questions.

Do we have money for that?

How much money do you have, Mommy?

Is this expensive?

Reagan is asking from that sort of idle, preschool curiosity. She understands that money is important, but the nuances are lost on her.

But Madison has started, well, almost worrying about money. Not from our own situation, but because of our reading. We've been working our way through all the historical American Girl novels as our read aloud books before bed. Madison loved Rebecca and Samantha and Kirsten and Molly. Immigration, war, women's rights, orphans...all issues that she heard about and handled like a mature girl. She chose Kit as our next girl to learn about, probably because of her outfit. But so far, Kit has inspired the deepest discussions. Kit is the Depression era American Girl. Kit's father loses his job, and the family quickly goes from comfortable to crisis. Kit's family comes uncomfortably close to losing their home, and Kit is ashamed to find her father in a bread line. When the family is facing eviction, Madison started asking a lot of questions about how that could happen, if we owed the bank money, and where we would go.

Deep stuff for a kindergartener.

At any rate, as we started to notice people near the intersection of a mall we frequent, holding up signs. Now that Madison can read, she knew that the signs all said some variety of "homeless and hungry", "need job", etc. She wants to help.

I'm very wary of pulling out cash at intersections, so Madison and I did some research to find other ways to help. She loved the idea of "blessing bags". We put together a few to keep in the car that we can hand out if we need to. So far, we haven't passed an intersection with anyone in need, but when we do, we'll be ready.

How do you handle explaining homelessness to your kids?

The Nook is Done!

2016-01-08T11:07:00.001-05:00

It's finally done! Remember when I wrote about wanting a space of my own a million years ago?

Right.

So I got the ironing board out of the corner and the desk moved into the corner and I hung a white board and built a filing cabinet with my own two hands....

And then...

And then...

Right.

The thing is, with all the chaos, that bedroom nook wasn't a priority. In fact, it got bumped down further and further. Then Christmas came its merry way into the house and the nook that was supposedly my office and my haven became the storage spot for bags and boxes and wrapping paper. Amazon Prime is a great thing, but the boxes. And the stuff. In our effort to make our first floor feel neat and clean, all that excess stuff just comes upstairs, and where does it get stashed? Not the girls' rooms. Not Adam's office. Our room.

Anyway, the curse of doing a project to 75% completion is that is very often, rather than inching toward 100%, you slip back. By the time December 26 arrived, I literally couldn't get to the printer. As a homeschooling mom, this is a big problem. No exaggeration - I could not navigate my way into that nook. Couldn't walk. Couldn't even pick my way through. No. No, no, no.

So I took a day and I finished it. I still need to hang a few things. Our family calendar is in the kitchen, but I'd like to have a pretty calendar to hang on the wall, and I think getting some other organizational things on the wall would help too. Obviously, there isn't a lot of floor space for furniture, so the empty walls will be put into use.

I'm having way too much fun browsing around. I don't know that I'll be able to decide any time soon.

But here's the thing. Now that it's functional and only needs a bit of pretty-ing up, I'm calling it done and I'm refusing to allow clutter back in. There are two spots in our home that are clutter magnets. One is the dining room. Because I use the table to lay out our school materials, it doesn't always look hostess ready. And because of that, it's easy to "just add one more thing" to that inviting flat space.

But the other is our bedroom and specifically, that nook. It's not visible to the public, it's out of the way, it's a place where the girls don't frequent and it's easy to say "I'm just putting it there for now".

Adam got a Home Depot card for Christmas, and we both jumped at the chance to replace the ceiling fan in our bedroom that has been broken since late September. Obviously the fan wasn't a huge deal, but that fan is also our overhead light. And as the days have gotten shorter, we've discovered that we really miss it.

Anyway, we got ridiculously excited about the gift card and spent a morning propped up in our bed, scrolling through options in a way that you only do when you're middle aged and married and think new ceiling fans are exactly what you want. We ordered one and high fived about the fact that the gift card covered the whole thing and we didn't have any guilt about making such a crazy purchase.

Then it came...and the box was missing the mounting hardware. We called and are arranging a return, but in the meantime we have an unboxed fan sitting out in the middle of our bedroom floor. As we prepared to go to bed Adam said, nonchalantly,

"I'll just go ahead and stick this here, just for..."

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

No. My nook is done. Get out of my nook.

Because now that I finally have a space of my own again, I'm not giving it up without a fight.

Daily To Do...For YOU!

2016-01-07T21:10:00.001-05:00

So. It's a new year.

Three quarters of last year was fabulous, but we closed the year out with a lot of stress and anxiety. Every time we thought we were on our way to resolution, it skittered away. It seemed stress was everywhere and issues seemed to crop up in every part of life. It was incredibly frustrating.

No, I'm not going to rehash all that here, and certainly not now. But I will say that closing out 2015 on such an unsettled note didn't encourage me to skip into 2016 with shiny goals for improvement.

But I did reflect, and one of the things I decided to make a priority was a daily list for my sanity. Not a clean house, or an organized pantry or a better diet. I wanted to give myself a few moments each day to center myself. Moments where I would tune out the anxiety and stress and worries about life.

Here's my daily list.

Write in My Journal

"But you have a blog!"

True. But my blog has evolved and it's not really a journal space anymore. I missed having a space to free write and just get all my thoughts out on paper. So on January 1 I grabbed one of the many notebooks floating around my bedroom, my favorite pens, and I started writing. So far I've written 6 out of 7 days, and I have to say, I'm enjoying having a place where I can write.

Read a Book

This was bizarre for me to have to put on my list, because I'm a huge bookworm. I love to read, re-read, and re-read again. Then I realized that over the past few months I hadn't been reading as much. I don't know that I wasn't reading because of the stress, but I know that it certainly wasn't helping my stress. So although I won't replace my magazines, and I'm sure I'll do some mindless game play, but I'm making an effort to keep a book close by so I can't make that my excuse.

Right now, I'm reading this one. My MOPS group started a book club, and although I was sad to hear that the timing isn't going to work out for me to attend (I have one volunteer committee, and somehow, that's the exact time of book club) I still wanted to read the book.

Get My Coloring On

I jumped on the grown up coloring bandwagon this fall. It seemed like the perfect way to end our homeschooling mornings. Madison and I would color together, each in our own book, and just chat as we worked.

What happened? Same as always. We got busy and I got stressed and it was lost in the shuffle. Every night I would look longingly at the coloring book and colored pencils sitting on my desk, and promise myself that as soon as I got caught up with my writing/lesson planning/cleaning/organizing/paperwork/stressing/trying to control the universing I would take time to color. And read. And journal.

Well, shockingly, I'm not caught up completely. I've also decided that I don't care. If I wait until our lives are totally in order to read, journal or color, I can go ahead and throw all those things out in my decluttering.

It seems like we're finally on the upswing, and hopefully that good energy will carry through and settle things back down. Then I'll put my focus more on organizing and working on my weekly housekeeping chores and my daily chores. I've already got my baby, my Erin Condren planner, set up for 2016, and that makes me itchy to get the rest of my life in order too.

But for now, I'm loving the time that I take to center myself every day. I love ending the day with my journal, I love coloring while the girls are resting, and I love spending some time in the evening with my books. There might be a pile next to me, but my mind is clear. And that, I've found, is exactly what I need.

What do you do for yourself every day?

Holiday Light Drive

2015-12-21T13:31:00.000-05:00

This has been an interesting fall for us. Without getting into a lot of details, I can say that the previous few weeks have had a lot more stress and a lot less merry than usual. Activities like seeing the Rockettes at Radio City (something Madison is dying to do) or riding on the Polar Express weren't in the cards this year. Even buying our Christmas tree and visiting Santa felt more like chores that we had to carefully figure out than fun things to do as we built excitement and anticipation.

Now that's not to say that we're feeling Scroogey or disillusioned. We're really not. But it seems like we're only capable of handling so much at once, and our priorities are focused elsewhere right now. We've checked off all the boxes - gifts purchased and wrapped, cards ordered and mailed, house decorated, Santa visited - but it's almost like we're marking time.

The girls aren't feeling this at all. They're just as excited as they are every year. They loved their Santa visit, they think our tree is beautiful, and they're counting how many days and nights are left until the big day. They don't have that grown up stress yet, and that's awesome. I hope that they go many, many years until there is even the possibility of stress lumped in with Christmas.

I'm still not able to make a New York trip or take the girls on a train ride. But we can do some fun things that are easy, inexpensive, and plenty of fun for the girls.

One of my favorites is our Christmas light scavenger hunt. After dinner we get the girls into their pajamas, pack up some cookies and travel mugs of hot chocolate, and bundle into the car. We drive around, Christmas music playing, and look at all the light displays. We look at houses that go over the top, some that are classic and simple, and some homes that really enjoy inflatables!

This can be as off the cuff simple or as well planned and organized as you want. This year we started doing a scavenger hunt to see plot out or trip and see what we could find.

It's a perfect, cheap, and fun way to celebrate the holiday season, and one, no matter what else is going on, that you can add in easily.

Gift Baskets

2015-12-19T16:50:00.000-05:00

For the most part, Christmas shopping for the girls is easy and fun. They are at a great age where they truly don't care about the price tag, and they know what they like. Reagan has been asking for Fash'ems. Literally, if this kid could sit around and open blind bags and boxes and Fash'ems and Mash'ems and Pops all day long, she would. She gets one every Friday for good behavior during the week, and she spends the next six days strategizing about what she'll choose yet. It's kind of awesome. Madison isn't quite that easily impressed, but she's truly happy with everything. I really like shopping for them.

It's everyone else that I find myself struggling with.

With the exception of the kids, this year has been the year of the gift basket for us. I can't believe I didn't embrace this idea sooner. Rather than searching for the one perfect gift at the perfect price point, making sure it's that combination of practicality and whimsy and thought, I can pick a theme and run with it.

Coffee lover? Wine lover? Puzzle lover? Pet lover? Cooking? Gardening? Coloring? The list is endless.

I had a Secret Santa exchange not too long ago. $20. That can be a tough one. Wine feels boring and overdone. A candle or trinket feels so generic. I ended up putting together an adult coloring book basket, and it was a hit. For that $20 I got two adult coloring books, a set of colored pencils, and a sharpener. And instead of using a generic gift bag, I picked up a cheap but cute magazine file that would store everything.

It's easy to budget. It's fun to assemble. And it's a lot of fun to get. Check out this car basket I put together for some of the men in my life that are very difficult to shop for.

What would your perfect basket look like?

Stop Judging, Start Embracing

2015-12-06T14:17:00.000-05:00

Do you have a DVD player in your car? Or anything for movies? An iPad mount?

If you answered no, and you also have kids, be honest. Do you sometimes wish you had a DVD player in the car?

I have a few friends, all lovely, non judgmental people, who have resisted the very notion of screens in the car...that is, until they're ready for a road trip. Then they're all over Facebook, asking if anyone has a portable DVD player that can be mounted. Because they've just realized what a ten hour drive might do to their sanity.

We had the discussion in an online mom's group that I'm in the other week, and I was surprised at how much people really thought about this topic. There were the moms who were adamantly opposed. Don't do it! Never get one! Slippery slope! Screens are the devil! (That last one may have been exaggerated). There were moms who admitted to owning them, but were careful to make sure we all knew that they almost never used them. Nope. Emergencies only. Mostly. Don't judge me. I don't really use it.

But then, there are people like me, who have decided that not everything involving a screen has to be evil. We got our car DVD player when I was still working. I would pick Madison up from daycare, in the winter, when it was dark, and drive a rear facing kiddo an hour home in traffic as the toddler meltdown time kicked in. It wasn't fun. I talked to her, we listened to music, I passed back all my junk mail for her to shred, but five days a week of commuting started wearing on us. When Adam and I saw a Black Friday ad, we jumped on it, mounted it to the rear headrest, and I started enjoying my commute a little bit more.

I assuaged my guilt pretty quickly. She'd had a fun, screen free day at day care, and having some down time in the car let her decompress. We still talked, but we were happy. Let me make sure you understand me completely. I do not have one drop of guilt for using this technology.

In fact, I'm even visiting another dealership today (virtually, of course) helping others assuage their own guilt.

What's your opinion? Roll with the changes in road trip routines, or keep them far, far away?

Deep Cleaning My Life

2015-12-04T13:28:00.001-05:00

You know how sometimes, life is just overwhelming?

This is especially true for me in the beginning of December. I've got shows and parties and extra events clogging up the calendar. There's wrapping and mailing and decorating to do. There are lists upon lists of projects to tackle. This is on top of whatever normal life stresses you have going on.

So what did I do last night?

Catch up on projects?

Say "forget it" and relax in a hot bath?

Nope. Not my style. When I am particularly stressed, I usually tackle a big job that hasn't appeared on my list in weeks. When I had a stressful day before Thanksgiving, I cleaned out the pantry. And after an exhausting and stressful day yesterday, I decided to deep clean the car seats.

I'm sure there's a psychological reason for it. I can't resolve what I need to resolve that particular moment, and sitting down to do nothing will make it worse, so I tackle something that will make me feel accomplished. If I can take an evening and deep clean two car seats, I have a handle on my life.

Anyway, my work was well worth it. This morning, I felt really accomplished as I loaded the girls into the car. My trunk may be full of clutter from shopping and returning and all that December jazz, but the backseat looked amazing. And I felt so amazing that I was able to get back to the to-do list today with a fresh perspective.

Anyway, if you want to read my step by step process so you can deep clean some of your stress away (don't knock this method until you've tried it), I'm over at Sudbay Chrysler Dodge talking about the best way I've found to get the job done.

What do you do when life is overwhelming?

Making it a Nice Place to Live

2015-12-03T15:20:00.000-05:00

As happens from time to time, we have reached a point where I feel like we live in the car.

I can't pinpoint what it is that gets us to this point. Is the natural build up of activities that happens a few times a year (extra shows, parties, etc). Is it all the errands that come with December (the post office, the store, back to the store). Is it the weather feeling chilly enough where we don't want to go outside but still need to avoid cabin fever, so we hit the road?

I don't know, but I do know that we've been in there a lot lately. A lot.

One of the ways I know we've been in there a lot is because the car starts to feel cluttered with stuff. With trash, with smell, with mess. I'm training the girls to be better, and generally they're doing a good job, but on days when we're eating lunch and dinner in the car because we just aren't home, and we're changing from tennis to dance, there are cheese crackers mixed in with sweaty socks and multiple bags and leaky cups and just...ick.

But when your car is really your mobile command center, even if it's only for a spurt, it helps when it feels clean and organized and uncluttered. I know that I vacuum more frequently, use the wipes more frequently, but there are a few hacks that really do make life in the car easier to handle. I'm over at the Chevy Source today talking about how really basic stuff can make your car a much nicer place to be.

Although I'm still lusting for a minivan. With a big bow on it. How 'bout it, Santa?

Science of Parenthood Book Review

2015-12-02T10:39:00.004-05:00

Anyone who knows me knows that some of my favorite TV shows are ones with an element of "smart humor" or hard science to them. I loved Lost and all the energy shifting, alternate time lining, having to have a basic idea of physics to really get it, boundary pushing storylines. I still revisit the DVDs all the time. And I love Big Bang Theory and all the nerd elements to that show. I mean, my very first print published essay in an anthology was a spoof on the roommate agreement.

One of the things I love about Big Bang is the episode titles. They take hard scientific concepts and apply them to whatever antics the characters are up to in that particular show. It's smart, and that makes it even funnier to me.

So, obviously, when I met the authors of Science of Parenthood a year and a half ago at a blogging conference, I was an instant die hard fan. I have a bumper sticker. I have a magnet. I've shared plenty of their doodles (the kind of smart doodles you wish you'd written). And when they took their project further, I jumped on the chance to share it and answer some questions.

What’s Science of Parenthood all about?

Science of Parenthood uses fake math and science to “explain” the stuff that puzzles parents every day. Things like ...

Why are broken cookies “ruined?”

Why does it matter what color the sippy cup is?

Why can’t you put the straw in the juice box without your kid having a melt down?

Why will a kid whine-whine-whine for a toy, then lose all interest in that toy once they have it?

Where the eff is my phone?

They've come up with some pretty hilarious theories. And what's better, they have illustrations for these theories. And clearly, pictures make everything funnier.

Now, they've done it. They scored a publishing deal and they've got a BOOK out.

The book, Science of Parenthood: Thoroughly Unscientific Explanations for Utterly Baffling Parenting Situations, is like the blog … but like the blog on STEROIDS! The blog was the experimental stage of the scientific method - a way to field test material, and now the book contains the kinds of cartoons and writing that fans love to find at Science of Parenthood, along with all new cartoons, infographics, flowcharts pie charts and quizzes created just for the book. About 90 percent of the book is brand new material.

Divided into four sections--biology, chemistry, physics and mathematics--the book lives in the chasm that exists between our collective hopes and dreams and expectations of what parenting will be like … and the brutal, slap-you-upside-the-head reality of what parenting actually is. The book covers all aspects of pregnancy, birth and the hilarious frustrations that come with early childhood (tantrums, picky eating, diaper blowouts, illness, sleep issues, play dates, toy creep, homework battles and encounters with crazy parents (not you, of course, we mean other parents). And you know what? You don’t even need to be a scientist to “get” it.

The goal is just to make parents laugh. Because when you’re a parent, you NEED to laugh. Humor is a survival tool. After your kid has gotten the top off a jar of Vaseline and smeared every surface within reach--yes, that happened--or tried to “help” you paint a room and ended up covered in blue paint--that happened too--you have to laugh. Or you’ll end up sobbing. Or wearing one of those fancy white jackets that buckles up in the back.

Is any of the book autobiographical?

Pretty much all of the book reflects through our experiences as parents. Take the piece “Experimental Gastronomy: A Study in Potatoes” from the Chemistry section. It’s written like a scientific paper about an experiment in which a researcher tries to determine if a preschooler who likes French fries will eat mashed potatoes. Raise your hand if you can hypothesize the outcome (see what we did there?) The piece is completely based on Norine’s inability to get her five-year-old, who loves fries, to even taste mashed potatoes. Says Norine: “I tried everything! I even offered him extra chocolate for dessert, and he still refused to take even one tiny nibble.”

Why science? Are either of the authors scientists?

Nope. Just moms dealing with the same kind of crazy stuff everyone else is. Science just makes a great metaphor for the frustration, exasperation and humiliation that comes with everyday parenting. Think about Einstein and how he explained his theory of relativity: “Sit on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour; sit with a pretty girl with an hour and it feels like a minute. That’s relativity.” Well, that’s parenthood too. One minute you’ve got a newborn covered in goo and then next, you’re watching teary-eyed as they skip into kindergarten without even a backward glance or a kiss goodbye. And yet, when you’re into your third hour of Candy Land on a rainy day, time seems to stand still. (If you haven’t played Candy Land with your toddler yet, trust them. The scars never really heal.)

Where did the idea for Science of Parenthood come from?

The “eureka” moment came when Norine’s son, Fletcher, came home from school talking about one of Newton’s laws of force and motion: An object at rest stays at rest unless acted on by an external force.

Says Norine: “That instantly reminded me of Fletcher with his video games. He’d sit on the couch and play games all day if I didn’t confiscate the iPad. I jotted down, Newton’s First Law of Parenting: A child at rest will remain at rest until you want your iPad back. Later, I posted that on Facebook. It got a good response, so I started posting other parenting observations and giving them a math or science twist, like Sleep Geometry Theorem: A child will always sleep perpendicular to any adult laying next to them. Both of these are fan favorites and two of the very few cartoons we pulled from the blog to include in the book.

“As a writer, I’m always looking for new ways to tell stories. And in that eureka moment, it struck me that math and science make fantastic metaphors for telling the universal stories of parenting. Like scientists, we parents are always fumbling in the dark, searching for answers, wondering if we’re on the right track and second-guessing our methods. And because a picture is still worth a thousand words, I knew that these science-y quips would be a lot more popular on social media if they were illustrated. So I called Jessica and asked if she wanted to illustrate a book of these funny observations.

“Jessica was the one who saw that Science of Parenthood could be much bigger than a single book. She saw the potential for a blog and a social media presence and ancillary products. She quickly secured a domain name for us and created a Facebook page and Twitter feed. She began illustrating the observations I had already banked. Two weeks later, we debuted on Facebook; a week after that we rolled out the blog. Now we’re three years in, and along with Science of Parenthood, the book, we have mugs and magnets and posters featuring our images. Earlier this year we published two collections of humorous parenting tweets—The Big Book of Parenting Tweets and The Bigger Book of Parenting Tweets.

Where can readers find Science of Parenthood?

Science of Parenthood is available as a soft-cover and e-book on Amazon right now. You can also find it on Barnes and Noble and in other bookstores.

And you can always find Science of Parenthood on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest,and Instagram.

Together Jessica and Norine published The Big Book of Parenting Tweets and The Bigger Book of Parenting Tweets earlier in 2015.

Stop Stickers From Taking Over Your Life

2015-12-01T13:28:00.000-05:00

I have a love/hate relationship with stickers.

Specifically, I have a love/hate relationship with how my children handle stickers.

Stickers are a huge incentive for my girls. I thought Madison would have grown out of the "reward sticker" from the doctor or dentist, but nope. Getting a sticker after her flu shot was the carrot she needed to get the job done. Madison's dance classes are pretty intense for a kid her age, but those kids still love getting a sticker at the end of the long night.

(This should not be news to me. When I was teaching, my fifth graders loved getting stickers as much as the kindergarteners did. HUGE incentive and totally worth it).

Anyway, I love the sticker as reward situation. I keep a pack in my purse along with paper and crayons, and it's great for restaurants, long lines, what have you. And as long as my kids have paper handy, I'm happy with the result.

Now the hate. I hate finding stickers in inappropriate places. I hate when a sticker on an inside out shirt that I didn't catch before pulling it out of the dryer. I hate finding stickers decorating the furniture in our house. And I hate stickers on my car windows, which, as it happens, is where many of those dance stickers end up. No matter how many times I reminded the girls that stickers go on paper, I wouldn't be quick enough. And if my sister got to decorate her window, then I should get to decorate my window.

For us, it was a battle that (for now) I'm not fighting. I got these on Amazon and the girls can fill them up to their hearts content, knowing that I can remove them at any time and still have a pristine window. But to get those stickers off the car windows in the first place, here's what worked for me.

By the way, that trick also works on bumper stickers! And if you have any bumper stickers that you've been holding onto, precisely because you don't want to have to remove them, check out this DIY magnetic bumper sticker tutorial. One pack of these and you can show off your marathon-ing skills even with an old school sticker!