From the depths of the tepid inferno

I'm Still Alive

2011-02-14T09:56:00.000-05:00

Yep that's all. Maybe something new in the near future.

2010-02-19T07:32:00.000-05:00

2010-02-19T07:31:00.000-05:00

2010-02-19T07:29:00.000-05:00

2010-02-19T07:25:00.000-05:00

test

2009-12-30T11:54:00.000-05:00

Testing....1...2...3!

Ahhh Palm...Your Ship Has Sailed.

2007-11-15T18:12:00.000-05:00

I used to love my Palm pilot. Now I pray for an iPhone. I used to hope that Palm had half a chance of competing with anyone anymore...but I guess that ship has sailed.

Even a few days ago I still felt a glimmer of hope that perhaps, some how some way Palm would get its act together and offer something that would work flawlessly and offer me the features that I actually wanted at a reasonable price point...but then i walked into Best Buy and saw the Palm display shoved into the corner next to the laser discs and the slide rules.

Oh Palm how I weep for you!

This is a Call to Arms!

2007-04-16T22:10:00.000-04:00

Earlier this evening as I was watching 24 and enjoying a well earned glass of absinthe; I happened to run across and interesting post on my friend Sam's blog. It just so happens that this post was directed towards me and the other fallen bloggers.

So, I sprang into action and resurrected my long neglected blog. So in a nutshell, here is what I have been up to in my absence.

I now am the proud owner of a Macbook and I love it! I am also the owner of a kitten named Gribble, and I love him too. The Macbook has given me no trouble whatsoever and is a dream to own...the Kitty, causes lots of trouble (especially when typing, the cat simply has to sit on the key board). I never realized how many things I owned that could be knocked over until I got a kitten. Interestingly enough, I never knew how many things I owned that I did not want to have knocked over until I got Gribble.

Colleen, my fiance, is in London England with her best friend Stacy. You will note that I am not in London doing British things....but I am not bitter because yesterday I got to go to Morton's with Stacy's fiance Jarrett.

For those of you who don't know Morton's is perhaps the greatest place on the face of God's green earth. Everything seems to taste better there, even the water. I had a steak that was two inches thick, cooked to a level of perfection that I never knew was possible...but I will demand that level of quality in the future. I ate asparagus that was as big as Henry Rollins' forearm. And the service...the waitress knew what I wanted before I did, yessiree its gonna be hard going back to the Denny's after experiencing this little slice of heaven. Sure the meal cost as much as a plane ticket to Europe...ohhh but the steak!

Which Science Fiction Writer am I?

2007-01-29T14:07:00.000-05:00

I am:

William Gibson

The chief instigator of the "cyberpunk" wave of the 1980s, his razzle-dazzle futuristic intrigues were, for a while, the most imitated work in science fiction.

Which science fiction writer are you?

I have to say, this is not who I expected to be...but I am thrilled. I love Gibson, and I was even thinking about writing my Capstone paper on cyberpunk...but then I realized that it would require me to figure out all of that post modernism nonsense. So which author are you?

Rudeboy

2007-01-09T09:19:00.000-05:00

It would appear that today is a 2 Tone day. Black pants and white socks!

Can't wait to stary skanking!

Class Dismissed!

2006-11-03T12:59:00.000-05:00

Today I had to remind my 10th grade class at least seven times that one of the attributes that distinguishes you as a 10th grader is the ability to enter and exit a classroom with out:

hitting

pinching

slapping

kicking

or otherwise touching your classmates.

This is just one of the many subtle nuances of polite social interation that I am trying to instill upon my students.

Students.....

2006-11-02T12:28:00.000-05:00

Ahhhh Students....

You just don't get it do you.

I don't earn the grades, YOU do. I just fill in the boxes as we go along.

No I will not stop what I am doing to go into intricate detail about my personal life.

Not all books are boring, and genrally speaking, its a could idea to actually read some of the book before you denounce it as boring.

Yes we have class today, and yes we will be doing work. Thank you for asking though, someday perhaps your persistence will pay off and when you walk in the room and ask me if we are doing any work today I will respond with a hearty NO. Just take a seat and sleep for the next couple of hours. Its cool.

Students....thanks for filling my days with all sorts of new and exciting ways to make my job just a little more challenging.

Customers have nothing on students....students have parents.

An Open Letter To Santa Claus....

2006-03-03T14:57:00.000-05:00

Dear Santa:

I know that Christmas has already passed by but since I didn't really ask you for anything this year I was wondering if you could perhaps find the time to drop off two USB joysticks so that I can play The Last Starfighter at work?

I tried to use the keyboard commands but found the whole experience rather lacking; I am sure that with twin joysticks I would be able to get a feel for what it would be like to truly pilot at real Gunstar!!!

If you and the elves haven't had the chance to play this game check out this site for a free and legal download of The Last Starfighter videogame.

Thanks Santa,

Mike

Playing With Slides!!!

2006-02-15T22:20:00.000-05:00

Here are some slides that I scanned into the computer...

Nothing special....

just goofing around with the new equipment....

unless you guys like these images....

then I would consider them MAJOR artistic statements....

which I would be willing to part with for $100.00 a print...

each print would be 27x49 and signed by me!
Heck if they become really popular maybe I will fire off some lithographs too.
Digital cameras are for weenies...(at least until I get one).

These were taken in or around November of 1999, on 100 iso Ektachrome.

Music Equals Memory

2006-01-20T13:46:00.000-05:00

If you are a boy and you went to high school between 1993 and 1997 I can pretty much guarantee that you spent at least one Friday night alone in your room listening to Radiohead's Pablo Honey track number two on repeat with headphones on playing air guitar and singing along.

Yeah I'm Still Alive......(To be read in your best Eddie Vedder voice!)

2006-01-08T13:53:00.000-05:00

For those of you who have been emailing me for the last three months asking where I have been; and if in fact the cleaning lady has finally succeeded in killing me you can breathe a sigh of relief because I am back!

I suppose that I owe you some sort of explanation for the long absence. I believe that it is a grand tradition to return to the Blogosphere with tales of all the great adventures that I was having in the three months while I was not updating my blog. A post that would satiate your ever growing curiosity as you ask yourselves day in and day out; what ever became of Mike.

Well tough luck...I'm not here to give answers I am here to draw silly pictures of myself on post-it-notes.

Which I am not able to post at the moment because my scanner is being a jerk!

Damn you HP PSC2510 all in one document center!

Check back tomorrow for something a bit more substantial.

Tales From The Workplace: Episode 1 "The Cleaning Lady Is Insane"

2005-10-07T18:58:00.000-04:00

As many of you know I work nights in a college library. For the most part its a pretty easy job and its also a pretty safe environment in which to work. But every once in a while something happens that makes me realize that I may not be quite as safe in the library as I once believed.

Take for example the cleaning lady, now I know that for some of you the phrase "cleaning lady" may stir up the image of an older woman, perhaps a bit grandmotherly, in your mind. Maybe she speaks with a cockeny accent and dresses like Carol Burrnet. Well not our cleaning lady.

Our cleaning woman enters the building at around 11:30 every night which gives me roughly half an hour of quality interaction. Thanks to this window of opportunity I have been able to draw two conclusion about the cleaning lady, the first is that she is clearly insane and the second is that she may in fact also be homicidal.

Allow me to present to you some of the clues that have allowed me to reach this conclusion.

I first deduced that my cleaning lady was crazy when she explained to me that she talks to Jesus. At first I assumed she meant that shy prayed. I realized that this is not quite what she meant when she asked me if I talked to Jesus.
For the sake of clarity he is an illustration of what transpired.

Drawing By Mike

I can not stress to you enough how unsettling this entire conversation was, because she is a very tiny very very intense person. She talks like she knows something that you don't, which I suppose is entirely possible seeing how she has all of these late night conversations with Jesus.

My second piece of evidence has to do with the aforementioned "Mexican Lottery." If you catch the Cleaning Lady on the right night she will pull a greasy letter out of her pocket and show it to you. Apparently the half faded slice of paper is the proof that she has won the Mexican Lottery. She is just waiting for the lottery commissioner to mail her check. Again this doesn't sound that crazy but it would if you could hear her explain it in person.

My last piece of evidence is a little something that I like to call "Big Knife." One day I spilt some coffee all over my desk so I used my master key to open up the janitors closet to get some paper towels and maybe a little Glass Plus. As I was taking the paper towels off the top of the cart I noticed something shiny. Upon closer inspection I realized that the shiny object was in fact a knife. Here is a picture of it.

Photo By Mike

So my question is what possible reason could there be to have this knife at work? What possible janitorial function would necessitate you bringing a six inch blade into the work place? Pop quiz, is this something that a sane person would do? Or is it something that a woman who hears voices would do...voices that sometimes tell her to do things perhaps.

So now when ever it gets to be around 11:30 at work I try to be a bit more vigilant just in case the Cleaning Lady has received orders from Liberace transmitted via calculator to terminate me with extreme prejudice.

Drawing By Mike

In Case You Didn't Know

2005-09-29T19:18:00.000-04:00

In case you haven't heard yet, I started a second blog yesterday. Now why would I do that when it is quite clear that I have enough trouble posting to this blog on a regular basis?

The answer is simple, this blog is my first blog and I try to put a little something special into each post mainly by means of illustration and also hopefully the content. I try to post items here that are a little more personal. So now I want a blog that is a little less Mike-centric and more content oriented. But trust me I am confident that enough of me will filter through.

The name of the blog is All the Cool Kids Love Technology. You can find it here. In case you haven't guessed it will deal with technology in some way shape or form, what the form will look like is anyone's guess.

Give it a look and see what you think.

The Force Is Strong With My Cactus?

2005-09-28T23:03:00.000-04:00

Late last week I was sitting in my office at work innocently surfing the net when a student came up to the door and wrinkled up her face and pronounced that I had the messiest office she had ever seen.

I explained to her that I shared this office with several other people and this happened to be a very busy time of year for us, and we have to store a lot of the reserve materials for classes inside the office.

She shrugged and told me that it must be impossible for me to accomplish anything in such a dump.

I tried to explain to her that my office was like the Millennium Falcon of offices, it may not be much to look at but it has it where it counts...then I realized that this was quite possibly one of the geekiest things I have ever uttered to a nongeek. So I just shrugged and went back to surfing the net.

But you know I couldn't help thinking that if my office is the Millennium Falcon then that must mean that I am Han Solo and my Christmas Cactus is obviously Chewbacca.

Drawing By Mike

I Wish I Had A Cubicle Job...

2005-09-23T13:10:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I wish that I had a job in a big company that required me to work on a floor filled with cubicles in a highrise building. I admit I read a lot of Dilbert comics but there is a very specific reason why I want to work in a cubicle building. I personally fell that my sense of humor and brand of mischief would work perfectly in that type of environment. Take this comic from Toothpaste For Dinner, look how much fun that little dude is having. I want to have the same opportunity to have that kind of fun, but that opportunity never comes a knocking at the library.

Sure I can pull some of the same tricks in the library where I work but by this point the minute something unexplained or unexpected happens guess whose door they knock on first? Think of the chaos I could seed in a building where I would have some degree of anonymity! The possibilities are endless.

Just the other night I posted this news article on the bulletin board in the breakroom. Why this article, you may ask, why because it has no bearing on anyone's life provided that they live in the United States. I also may have located the most incomprehensible sentence in the article and highlited it for added drama.

What does this mean????

Why would I do something like this? What could I possibly hope to accomplish? Lets just say that I like to do whatever I can to spice up the lives of the librarians that I work with, besides everyone loves a puzzle!

Natural Disasters and Superheros

2005-09-01T12:42:00.000-04:00

As I sat in my living room this morning watching the latest news stories pouring out of the Hurricane ravaged Gulf Coast I realized that this is the perfect scenario for a superhero to come in and save the day.

If Superman were here he probably could have prevented the entire catastrophe by flying out to sea and using his super-breath to blow the hurricane onto another course. Or perhaps destabilize the center of the storm. Superman would definitely be able to help ease the sufferings of millions of Americans.

Actually Storm from the X-men would also be able to stop this tragedy from happening, the rest of the X-men would be extremely useful in search and rescue missions. I imagine Batman would also be a useful guy to have on hand in the event of a natural disaster. He could probably deployed the Bat-shelter and eased the strain placed on the facilities at the Superdome.

But today as I watched reports roll in about people shooting at Navy/Coastguard choppers trying to rescue stranded people; or looters hijacking a truck full of medical supplies bound for one of the only functioning hospitals in the region I know that there is one Superhero who could make a real difference in this situation. That man is Judge Dredd!

Surely Judge Dredd would be able to help the refugees while at the same time dealing with the more criminal element taking shelter within the unwashed masses. The wolves among the sheep. But until the Judge can be located lets hope that people will calm down and let the real heros of the Red Cross and various Federal and State agencies do their jobs.

Vampire Hunter Dud

2005-08-29T17:34:00.000-04:00

I placed Vampire Hunter D on my Nexflix queue last week and I have been anxiously awaiting its arrival. It came over the weekend and I eagerly placed this Special Edition DVD into my player and was completely disappointed.

Before any of you die hard fans freak out on me and remove my feed from your RSS readers let me clarify this statement for you. I was not disappointed by the movie itself, far from it I really liked the concept of a distant future where Vampires and gigantic Werewolves roam the earth and courageous men known as hunters keep them from slaughtering all of the innocent villagers. What disappointed me was the fact that a "Special Edition" DVD could have such piss poor visual quality.

You see I remember standing on the bleeding edge of the DVD revolution; and I remember when a "special edition" meant just that; there was something special about the disc. I realize that this is an older film but surely there was an old Japanese gentleman with a Q-tip and some kind of solvent that could have cleaned up the negative a little bit so that I could actually see what was happening in the scene. Perhaps someone would be willing to digitally remaster this film, because when I watch a movie I want clear visuals. I can handle darkness for effect but not something that seems of poor quality. Especially when I sit down and watch something animated nine times out of ten it is the visual elements that draw me into an animated film.

I don't know maybe Ghost in the Shell as spoiled me.

DOOMED!!!

2005-08-26T12:38:00.000-04:00

Everyone goofs off at work. That has to be one of Newton's laws, I mean lets face it popular tradition has it that Newton himself was goofing off when he discovered gravity.

As I was saying everyone goofs off at work, I am no exception...actually I probably goof off more than any of you could possibly imagine. I have many clever ninja-esque techniques that allow me to goldbrick without detection. Every once in a while these techniques fail. Take today for example. I was sitting in my office downloading the new DOOM trailer when the Director of the Library and the Vice President of the College step into my office to have a quick chat.

With feline reflexes I minimize the window and pull up the decoy application that helps me fool the unwashed masses into believing that I am actually doing work. Everything appears to be going well until Quicktime, thoughtfully, decided to automatically begin playing the trailer once the download completed. By this time I am no longer at my desk but across the room too far away to close the window that is now showcasing Vin Diesel kicking alien demon ass. Naturally I decided to download the fullscreen trailer not the postage stamp sized one.

After the trailer finishes there is a moment of silence and I say the only thing that a person can say in that situation. "Whoops." Fortunately everyone laughed and I don't think that I will get into too much trouble over this incident. I do know that I will be modifying some of the default settings on Quicktime.

Give Me an iBook or Give Me Death!!!

2005-08-16T18:16:00.000-04:00

I felt that it was my duty to bring this story to the attention of my reader who may not have made it out of their caves this morning.

In case you haven't heard tragedy struck this morning in Henrico County. The County was selling one thousand four year old decommission iBooks for fifty dollars. As is often the case demand for old computers quickly outstripped demand and massive throngs of people showed up hoping to claim their own slice of the Apple pie. (Oh yes I just wrote that!)

These people did what intelligent law abiding citizens do when denied the object of their desire; they stampeded!

An event of this magnitude must be imortalized with the first official Mike Evitts commemorative lithograph series.

With out further ado I give you this day in history:

Drawing By Mike

Drawing...I mean...LITHOGRAPH By Mike

Lithograph By Mike

Lithograph By Mike

I have read a few accounts of the ensuing stampede and they range from factual journalistic records to gristly tales of human suffering. One story even goes so far as to claim that the angry hordes who were denied an iBook tried to sate their thirst for technology by eating babies.

I left such sensationalism accounts out of my Lithographs because I was unable to confirm them...but as soon as I can I will present to you one hell of an anniversary series.

Sometimes It Pays To Go To Work

2005-08-15T16:40:00.000-04:00

Every once in a while it really pays off to go to work in the morning.

Today is one of those days. I stumbled into work this afternoon with the sole intention of finishing half of the Range-finders that I had to create. For those of you not as steeped in the Library Arts as I am; a range-finder is that tag on the end of the book shelf that tells you what books are located in that particular area or "range." Consider yourselves enriched.

Now creating new range-finders is a task that my library has avoided doing for the last twenty years, so I got to start from scratch. This means I had the great fortune of learning how to create templates and stylesheets on MS Word that correspond to diemensions that no one in thier right mind would ever dream of using.

Thankfully I perservered, once the template was setup the job turned into pure data entry so I took this opportunity to explore the podcasting feature embedded in iTunes.

I spent most of my time typing and listening to TWIT which stands for The Week in Tech for those of you not in the know. In the words of one of the commentators TWIT is essentially an Algonquin Round Table for geeks. They discuss technology and gadgets, rumors and innuendo. I find it pretty interesting stuff.

But do not for a moment think that this is what made my arrival at work worthwhile! As I completed one floor's worth of range-finders my coworker came into my office and tossed a copy of the Heavy Metal Encyclopedia on my desk. This is the second time in two weeks that she has finally, after two years of employment, ordered a book that I have requested.

For those of you who do not have a copy of this fine resource at work, run to whomever orders your office supplies and demand that they requsition you a copy or else you will be forced to split thier skull like Dave Mustaine after a three day bender.