From the deranged brain

The Mo Alexander "Save the world, Slap the stupid shirts" available online now.....

2011-09-21T16:37:00.010-05:00

Randi modeling the front

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Finally after many request the 2011 tour shirts are available online right here, just click the size you need then click the paypal button. Shirts are 100 percent cotton

weight loss

2011-05-31T19:35:00.002-05:00

Soooo, I have decided to try and lose some weight, I never meant to gain weight but life on the road can get hard, and tiresome. Seriously being in a car for 18 hours with the only food options being Mcdonald’s or Wendy’s at 1:45 am can tend to add some pounds. I’ve gained weight since 2006 cause now days I or should I say my minion Jane Haze drives everywhere we go on tour. Before that I flew almost everywhere and that tends to keep the pounds down. Seriously try running through O'Hare airport with 35 minutes between flights. One time I flew from Memphis to New York by way of Chicago. I landed at gate c-34 then had to run back to Memphis to catch my connecting flight. I made it, out of breath and sweaty but i made my flight damn it.
I’ve always been a big /fat/heavy/rotund guy ill never be tiny, its just not in my dna. I was 5’10 and 11 in 6th grade playing basketball where only the 10th graders were close in height. You should have seen the looks on parents faces when I ran onto the court with the rest of them. One time a parent asked to see my license, he thought I was old enough to drive. Kinda pissed me off cause was he just in awe that I was a foot taller than everyone or did he think I was stupid and failed 5 times. Fuck yourself sir. I digress, I remember being a wrestler in high school and having to cut weight just to wrestle heavyweight class. In the past 4 weeks I’ve dropped 20 pounds, yeah, it doesn’t sound like a lot but already I feel better. I actually did a 45 minutes stand up set 2 nights ago standing up and running around the room. Normally i don’t do that, normally I sit on a tall chair and perform cause my knee is shot from too many years of Karate and wrestling and falling in the middle of a kitchen in a lesbian run comedy club in Florida while trying to get paid (bitches, grrrr`). For the first time time in a long while it did not hurt
Why now you may ask, well I’ll tell you. 2 reasons first 2 people in Wisconsin said “hey you a big dude” When a `350 pound dude from Wi tells you you’re a big guy Damn you better listen. Wisconsin people aren’t the tiniest of people. This is the land of giants and cheese and giant cheese, they actually make something call cheese curds,which are leftover hunks of cheese that are then battered and fried. Almost as good as bacon. These people have to be huge to survive the winter up there which if I’m not mistaken begins in Aug and ends somewhere around June. This is the home of the packers, have you seen a packers game? These fuck-tards fans are out in -30 degree weather for a game with their shirts off, in-fucking-sane. When someone of that statue and girth says you’re a big boy you might take heed.
Reason number 2 cause i met someone that might live up to my wish of someone who could hurt me in bed. No fuckers I’m not scared of her I’m mighty intrigued. If anyone knows me or has slept with me you know one thing. I love sex and all the fun things involving at least 2 naked people. She has said to me that her best sex ever was with a former cyclist and lasted 15 hours. I told her I can do that if we break it down over a weeks time but not right at once. Right now she could get about an hour of oral from me and about 30-45 minutes of hardcore penetration, but she likes athletic sex. Sex that one needs to stretch out before and after. Sex requiring a warm down and probably gatorade. Sex where you catch a charlie horse and keep going till something breaks, beds or bones it doesn’t matter which.
Well there ya go, those are the reasons I’m working out again and trying to loose the weight. I do want to be the best sex ever for her, I don’t know if she meant that story as a challenge for me, but that's how I took it. I need to get back to my former fighting weight so i can eventually take that title. I know I should be saying the regular bullshit about how I’m doing this for me and i want to be healthier and live longer and....... fuck that.
The truth is i wanna be wrapped up in her in a pool of sweat, cum, saliva and any other body fluids that we can muster. I never want to hear about that cyclist again. And if it doesn’t work out with her ladies, be prepared to work.
I hope it works out :)

The Chocolate Buddha comedy tour is in full effect

2011-05-16T03:59:00.003-05:00

What in the unholy hell was I thinking when I booked a 12 week tour schedule, I mean 12 weeks I haven't done more that 3 weeks solid since 2008. Well here i am at the half way point and I wish I had booked another 6 weeks behind these. I'm having fun, not only am i having fun I'm enjoying writing about the journey. Right now I'm sitting in a hotel room in Petoskey Mi after a night off and during a show inside a casino lounge Saturday night that can only be described by my minion Jane Haze as "P.Diddy's living room." I have played casinos in Vegas and Atlantic City, and yes even Tunica Ms, but always the Native American casinos surprise me. In vegas and Atlantic City there are always the mob boss wanna be looking dude trying to look hard, didn't think I'd see that here. I was so wrong, apparently every racial makeup has there "goombas". when i got in the casino i was greeted by the native American version of "Big Pussy" from the sopranos. No not a guy wanting to be the character but the actual indian version, on a cell phone with the classic Italian "how you doing" then the firm but supple hand shake of a man who might be in sanitation but has never taken out the trash. Yikes. I like this guy. First thing he does is hands me my check and asks me to sign for it. Now this is a professional. What i didnt like about the place was that it was huge and empty, also i didn't like Paying 12 dollars for a shot of Patron.(hey casino's up here if a comic is getting paid to entertain, don't charge for drinks, at least the first one should be on the house.) The club finally filled right about 5 minutes before Jane Haze went on which was cool. The show itself was just your everyday average show , no bad hecklers no drunk bitches, just a bunch of people who wanted to laugh and recover from losing money on slots and blackjack.

No the real fun began after the show when the same floor i had been standing and running around on for 45 minutes turned into a dance club. People, a dance club in upper northern Michigan. This is the only way i can describe the scene. Take a room full of the most uncoordinated white people and natives, make them zombies and then give those zombies Grand Mal seizures. If the rapture occurs next weekend, like some nut jobs believe these poor bastards will be left off the soul train for an eternity, no Don Cornelius for you. I forget that for some dancing is like karaoke for you legs and feet. I just stood there for about 4 minutes with my mouth gaped open watching these lifeless souls miss the beat repeatedly in unison. i know its cliche to say white people cant dance but it hurt to watch this, one guy looked like he was punching a girl in the chest with his head. Wtf ? Sir that is not the dougie, that's assault. Northern Michigan in May is very odd, it was 42 degrees today, I cant wait to come back.

This week the tour takes Jane and I to two more Indian casinos both smaller than this one, neither has a P.Diddy room I'm sure, then on to Merrilville Indiana. Then back to milwaukee, and Neenah Wi. Not for shows just to hang out with friends and a very funny and very dark soul who has more than peeked my interest, she might be almost as mean as i am. Ill keep you posted.

Oh and for my Memphibians I hope you were all safe during the floods, and Grizzlies much love and great try I did believe.

2010-07-21T18:40:00.001-05:00

Wisconsin Radio with Rob and Louise!

2010-04-13T17:10:00.003-05:00

Mo Alexander morning radio interview on WPKR The Wolf with Rob and Louise from Appleton, Wisconsin.

PART I

PART II

I'm with Team Conan

2010-01-13T14:28:00.003-06:00

Enough said

Matt Davis snaps on heckler in Birmingham, Alabama

2009-12-02T01:11:00.001-06:00

The new ink

2009-12-01T23:54:00.002-06:00

So here is the latest tattoo as done by the great Dave "chief baby hands" Evans at Underground art in Memphis. The Tat is my favorite quote from the french writer and philosopher Voltaire. It states "God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh"
If you get the meaning you can hang out with me after a show.

----------------
Now playing: Puscifer - Vagina Mine [Alive At Club Nokia]
via FoxyTunes

my hot and yet Nerdy friend Cara

2009-09-14T22:58:00.002-05:00

So This is my hot and yet nerdy friend Cara that is all you need to know...wait no .You need to know she kicks Asssssssss

The devil carries of the dead

2009-07-18T14:13:00.001-05:00

Ducks

Saturday morning thoughts

2009-07-11T08:20:00.002-05:00

I have always heard that there are 2 sides to every story, I think thats become outdated I think every story has three parts, the part you want to hear, the part you don’t, and what really happened .I take that, all that. The good the bad and the ugly and make you laugh.Sometimes you might not want to laugh but you find yourself laughing none the less..I’m not knocking the comics that are goofy, or prop acts or guitar acts of the world, but if one can make fun of things in life that hurt, scare, or disturb why wouldn’t you want that. The world is full of atrocities and if I can make some of those things go away or give a different perspective on an issue and make a slightly less sucky day for someone I will.Some people consider me a dirty comic cause i use words in our language that are considered “bad”. No words are bad, words convey thought and sometimes the only term for a situation is a word that one might have been admonished for as a child.I think in that is someone who has come to a comedy show ,who is buying the required 2 drink minimum and are old enough to make decisions can hear the word “fuck” and not cry to mommy. I don’t market myself as a Christian comic or a clown for children. I am a drinking, swearing, role model for the real world.Off stage I am your basic flawed human, a writer, a thinker. On stage or as soon as I walk into the club I am a stand up comedian and I am Fucking Funny.

Mo Alexander

New York New York a wonderful town....for 151 ewww it hurts

2009-05-26T08:19:00.006-05:00

If Nyc = Bright lights Big city..Long Island =big hair and fake titties. I love this place...The Brokerage in bellmore Li. This a gig that i look forward too every time i can get it. These guys don't have to book me but the do cause Im different and Im funny and gosh darn it i rock a room..ew yuck. Anyway I have to thank Cara Amore for introducing me the one of he silliest club owners around the the very funny Mark Lund. The first night i Met this guy was in Atlantic city,where we bonded while dancing to Michael Jackson's "P.Y.T." in the middle of the street at a stop light.Yes we jumped out of the car and on either side of the car danced while Pyt bumped on the system..Becaue this was atlantic very few people noticed, odd. Anyway this way maybe my 4th time there i love this club and i love the people at the club.It's now a game to see how drunk they can get me onstage while maintaining the show.This time as i walked in the first shot was being poured for me, a huge shot of 151.When i say huge i mean take a normal size mixed drink glass and fill it. Ok so if you read this blog you might know that I'm a tequila drinker how these people think its 151 happened the last time i was there. They were out of all the good tequila so i did a few shots of 151.That time i got drunk enough to fall asleep in my car with the door open and got rained on.What a horrible feeling waking up in a car, wet thinking omg did i have a wreck am I bleeding ,oh nevermind its water. And no i wasnt tryung to drive that night i was just going to the car to make a few phone calls. Anyway this time they thought 151 was the drink of choice. James the manager's only purpose in life i think is to run one of the best clubs around and try to get me fucked up. Thank God that there was only one show on friday night cause the fed me 4 of those massive shots that night. I did the show then they tried to feed me another. Why, I was apparently drunk enough already to hit on some chick while her father stood next to her and made fun of me hitting on his daughter. I some how got a number and then lost said number in the process of not dying. After visting Burger king and the bathroom a few times sleep was welcome
Saturday night was a 2 show night so i knew that i must straighten out the 151 mistake, plus Jane and I were heading back to Memphis right after to make it to the Monday night Sinner's Ball. Those lovely asshole friends fixed the 151 situation from the night before but still somehow managed to get me drunk on a bottle of patron that Jimmy the co-owner had went out and bought just for me, and apparently the waitress that was trying to match me shot for shot.Nice try little girl. You held in as long as you could i know and if i hadn't had to head back to Memphis maybe we could have played my favorite game game called amber alert.That's when she dresses like a hot Britney spears as a 13 year old and yells help a lot. I digress, 2 shows, 1 bottle of patron and a standing ovation..good times i love them...Jane and i headed back to Memphis got lost for and hour in NYC ,at least that whats she said i was too far gone to help with directions. We made it out and i was finally good about jersey where we pulled over to get rid if some legal Mexicans i was smuggling in my upper intestines....
Made it back to Memphis Sunday night .Slept then met up with the boys for the first ever Memphis Sinners Ball. More on that later

chi town dogs, milwaukee absinthe,and hickory dickory dice

2009-05-02T05:45:00.005-05:00

Next stop , Chi town for a quick stop to see my little sister Mary Jordan. Mary and her boy friend Derek recently moved from Memphis to Chicago cause basically Memphis kills everything sooner or later.Really it does, it kills souls,ideas,dreams,2 different kings and a Jeff Buckley. Actually she's just way to funny to be limited by southern culture and dumb crowds.So Jane haze and I made it there and did an Open mic with said little sis.Okay open mic'ers of the world listen up ...DO NOT TRY AND WORK MATERIAL INTO A CONVERSATION,TURN OFF YOUR COMEDY SELF AND JUST BE FUCKING HUMAN.While standing outside waiting on the list i met a couple of those guys that seemed nice at first but after a moment i realized everything they were saying to each other was a bit.One guy was going on about just found out he was black and not Italian and went through some bs and i tagged the line with "here's your nigga card , thank you move along".he just smiled, which meant that's funny,I'm going to co-op that.He did later in his act but a much less funny version of "here's your naacp card, move along" Either have the balls to do the bit or don't do the bit fuckhead..I digress. The open mic community in Chicago is insane there were over 60 wannabe comics that night they actually split the groups in 2 and performed in different parts of the building. Luckily Jane ,Mary and I were all in the same talent pool and stayed together.Jane went 6th and was the first one to rock, then bunches of bullshit,then a good one then Mary went up and fucking killed.It was a weird feeling cause Mary got the slot right before me, like so many times before we knew this game. She kills, brings me up and i kill them to the point of cremation.So she brought me up and said so many nice things about me and we hugged on stage ..then i had five minutes, i set that room on fire they had no clue what was in store. We burned Chi town that night and then the hot dogs from the duck burned us on the way to Milwaukee.
We got to Milwaukee about 1am and went straight to silk (strip bar)above the comedy club known as Jokers to get the condo key. We met up with Natalie and Scott got the key hung out a bit and Jane was hit on the first 10 minutes we were there cause she dresses like a paper boy from the 20's. This was going to be short week at Jokers cause they were bringing in Andrew "dice" Clay for Saturday so all we had to do was Thursday and Friday. Thursday night, we get to the club and i find out that's there no feature and its open mic night.well they only had one open mic person, the from now on infamous Antoinette. Antoinette was so funny that she was ready to "film my special tonight, but this is my first time on stage,did you know I'm a producer?"Omfg she rambled on for 15 minutes of the the worst incoherent shit I have ever heard.then she had the nerve to try and heckle Jane .Jane nicely told her to shut the fuck up and brought me up, where once again Antoinette decided she wasn't ready to give up her 15 minutes of fucked up fame . The shut down began, as of writing this I don't remember what I said to her. All i could hear was Nat laughing her ass off in the background.Sometimes I think they like me there just to see me make someone cry.I'm fine with that. Open mic people should know their place.Don't fuck with a headliner I'm in this spot for a reason,cause I earned it,keep working and maybe in 15 years we can talk,that goes for the fed ex employee as well next time you want to step to me don't, turn around walk away and deliver my packages. Anyway the highlight of this week was the absinthe woo hoo a comedy club with absinthe i love you guys ..the good stuff Kubler omg. Anyway the Saurday show had nothing to do with me, They had the one and only Dice Clay. I have to say it was a lot better than i expected.He was a shell of former greatness but still was funny much different than the early 90's but aren't we all. i have to say staying over a day to see him work was worth it. Plus,with the help of Scott i got a picture with him.i really don't care about pictures much but this one is cool,I'll put it next to my one with Don Rickles and Lisa Lampanelli's vagina.I'll call it "wrinkled but not forgotten" in my facebook section.I love Jokers cc in Milwaukee you should follow them on twitter i do. Next stop Nyc and the Brokerage comedy club.....

easter is for retards?

2009-05-02T04:56:00.003-05:00

We know i survived Prestonsburg,KY yuck and Charleston,WV was next on my road schedule.Thankfully Fridays night was pretty uneventful just the required redneck nutcase and marine nutjobs who yell "coondog" and "if tell you that i would have to kill you" it wasn't until the Saturday night show that i was worried. I went down to the lobby of the club where the staff had taken my headshot and added bunny ears.not drawn on bunny ears but cut out ears from some coloring book. Apparently i was the official chocolate bunny of the comedy zone and the Ramada itself. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the manager Dennis looking flustered ,i knew this couldn't be good .He came over to me and said"look we might have a problem tonight,they sat a retard(his words not mine)in the front row and i know how much you love that word""look i dont know what to do so i'm just going to ask if they want their money back now" I wasn't worried much, i know anybody who brings a mentally handicapped person to a comedy show with one of the most frank and potentially dark comedians around know what they're getting themselves into.What they should have told me was that the "retarded" person in the front row was part of a birthday party,no not his.the birthday party was for the mother of said "retard"and her large posse of lesbians .yes i said large party of lesbians. Not saying the lesbians were large, not all of them but there were several i wouldn't want to meet on a dark softball field. i did my thing i didn't change material at all just changed the placement of my main retard line, i moved it up in the set to where it was almost the first thing i did.That's right,face...the lesbian party had no problems with what i said. The guy didn't move much, just sat and ate his french fries..It wasn't until one of the chicks reached over and decided that he didn't mind sharing his fries with me that all hell broke loose,as soon as the plate of fries came towards me, I was hit with a very hard barrage of leftover fries that he must had been hoarding for later.People let me tell you retard strength is real, he almost put an eye out It took three of the Rosie O'Donnell sized ones to calm him down.The fries were returned the show went on and no one was pissed, even"coondog" dude came back and brought friends ..that didn't want to kill me .I like Charleston ,its my kind of place full of nasty strip bars ,lesbians and super strong very accurate throwing retards.

The mac is back and so am I part 1

2009-04-22T04:31:00.006-05:00

Finally my macintosh is up and running again,thanks Ted @ the apple store in Mayfair in Milwaukee.I have power again woo hoo. So I have missed many weeks of blogging and many semi interesting stories to share so lets get started.
I've been on the road quite a lot recently, seriously all over the damn place everywhere from the backwoods of Prestonsburg Ky,and the slightly less backwoods of Charleston Wv, all the way to Chicago and Milwaukee where I got annoyed by the now infamous Antoinette ,yuck..
Prestonsburg lays claim that they are the longest running comedy night in Kentucky,impressive if you know the town.I am never too smart to admit that i have many things left to learn on this planet. Prestonsburg taught me a very important lesson, Just because i can drink 12 shots of tequila anytime and be OK that does not translate into other liquors. I hereby state that Wild Turkey is the Devil. Normally i never have a hangover in fact i didn't have one from this event. So the night began with Jane Haze and John D miller trying not to kill a rambuncous music teacher drinking the said devil juice.I can't drink cheap tequila it hurts worse than finding out your ex girlfriend is dating a very fugly old woman(I didn't just say that),The top shelf tequila was(pause for effect) jose cuervo.. Jose should never be considered top self,personally would even make margaritas with it.It is the bane of everyone's existence that has had that tequila story that's the reason they don't drink tequila.So i said let me drink tonight what the locals drink.Gobble Gobble. Fuck me, now just to let you know i only had maybe 4 shots on stage, it wasn't till after rocking a small redneck crowd that everyone, including said music teacher wanted to buy me shots of the stuff.12 shots in and i feel fine go back to the room and order pizza, made fun of Jane about her choices of sex partners and fall asleep ,or as most would describe pass out. Waking up a mere 2 hours later with a certain "gobble gobble"in my head, and pain everywhere else. There was no vomiting involved in the nights pain session that would have been completely acceptable, that would have cleared my system and made me useful the next day. I went back to bed and woke up several more times sweating turkey and found a turkey feather in my ass.. No really a turkey feather i blame Jane haze either that or i was raped by a butterball. I was drunk until after radio the next day,and radio was at 3 pm the entire drive was painful, lights,sounds,cold pizza,Elvis Costello. Thankfully Jane Was driving.

weekly videos for the weak

2009-03-20T01:25:00.002-05:00

So starting next week the you tube channel"www.youtube.com/moalexander" will have my version of a weekly self help/advice/me being an ass rant. It will be brief and hopefully it will be funny.The shows will be called "wisdom for the weak" cause apparently this world need a little help sometimes, remember these will be very brief under 2 minutes mainly, hopefully you will enjoy.
see ya soon.

Where to begin:Vegas

2009-03-18T08:54:00.009-05:00

I keep telling everyone road stories are coming so here ya go.
So you might not know but I've been kicked of a lot of places I'm ok with this cause most of the places I've been kicked out of are places i want to be kicked out of, not because i enjoy it but because those places suck.I've been banned from a Perkins restaurant,Graceland,the Viper room in La,a library in south Carolina, 13 radio stations and personally my favorite and the exception to the this place sucks rule, a swingers club in Vegas..Yep i said it a swingers club in Vegas.How could one get kicked out of a swingers club you may ask.It's a place where rampant sexual activities happen of all kinds, sucking, fucking, watching, walking around naked while playing pool.All kinds of stuff.One night my friend Pyro Pete and myself went to the red rooster 2, a swinger club in a strip mall somewhere near the Vegas strip.And what a strip mall by the way,full or weird dirty things this place should be smack dab in the middle of Kansas.It has three swingers clubs, a place where tranny hookers hang out, a sex toy shop that is also a coffee shop and the funniest place I've ever seen, a Mexican cowboy country gay bar.Gay and Ole woo hoo.I digress so we went to the rr2 on a Tuesday night kinda dead of course,even in Vegas Tuesday can be dead.Not much happening that night till we got to the far back room.There was a small group of about 6 people both guys and girls just watching, so of course i wanted to see for myself what was going on so made or way past the semi circle of lack of humanity and saw it.It was a rather Fabio looking very manly built dude doing a rather Rotund woman doggie style on a leather covered foam bed.Now don't get me wrong i like a thick chick always, not really a fan of skinny women cause they break to easy.This isn't about me making fun of the big girl I wasn't, but the Fabio guy omg what a tool,not the dick just him.He was posing while fucking her,one leg up both arms on his absent love handles in a superman type pose,tossing his big harlequin book cover hair every chance he got.I couldn't help myself,I ran out to Pyro's car and got my notebook,came back in and started writing. When the woman finally started groaning I held up my notebook and stated very loudly what was on my notebook "6.2 from the Russian judge"then more flew from my mouth"i would have give you an 8 but its looks like your overextending and you almost fell on your first dismount."Laughter and security,lots of both filled the room,all six people laughed, the big girl snickered and he wanted to beat my ass.They removed Pyro and myself and told us we could back some other time but we needed to leave.I was actually happy security came in when they did to remove us,I would hate to have this story end with me being beaten by a naked hard cocked Fabio look alike, curled on floor that smelled of feet,tears and bleach,that's never a good way to end a story unless Paul Hooper is involved.More on him later.Oh we went back, another story for another day

An updated post, originally from myspace last year

2009-03-15T06:46:00.000-05:00

Enjoy and tell me what you think
For all of those who don't know me, im a comedian.A true stand up comedian ,no im not a prop act nor am i character made up to convince people who im making fun of that im one of them.Nor am i a puppeteer , or a musical act .i am a comedian a comedian in the truest since of the word.I find the funny in the world around me unlike Seinfeld whom i consider a comedian im not just pointing out what wrong with the world i suggest ways to make them better even if some of my ideas are harsh.now take the fact that i just want everyone to laugh and also maybe just maybe provoke a thought .Here's the problem im labeled as EDGY.whoa a black comic who is edgy wow must be def jam with not much talent or his own material.NOT ME i dont curse to be funny.i curse because things piss me off.yes im not for everyone there's a place for puppets, and musical acts and even guys who balance rope on the face those place are called cruise ships and hell (which to me would be one in the same)im not saying that i would never do a cruise ship but unless it for a private s&m gathering or some twisted open minded group like that, if i end up on one in any other situation my friends have been instructed to kill me.
The reason for the post is as the world has become soft, comedy clubs are becoming soft as well,"oh dont offend the patrons" well tell that drunk hole in the back to shut her cocksucker and let me do my show."but if we throw her out we'll lose customers' do you really want the same people to come back again the next week and heckle the comic again, no fucker you dont kick them out on their asses and make a better time for the ones who are laughing .Bland comedy is killing comedy.Comedy is the last bastion of free speech dont tell me to change my act, warn the customer that what you see in this room tonight while you might not agree with the things said on that stage remember fuckers, comedy is based on truth. ...Carlin edgy, Pryor edgy, Lenny Bruce edgy, Kinison edgy Hicks edgy, and right now if they came you in this soft ass comedy world they would be told to tone it down.Fuck em turn it up make em sweat so i can smell the weak and feed off their fear and stupidity. go home where its safe(ha ha), watch you mind numbing television your dancing with the stars,your rock of loves, Dr phil and the like.only listen to the soft bullshit radio,listen to The jonas bro, and clay soulless aiken.THINK do me one favor and Think. See ya on the road ..Nyc Coming for you in april..i know you are ready.

A Dingler, a Dye and it's all a Haze

2009-03-11T09:23:00.004-05:00

Home from a couple long weeks on the road again, a couple of cool stories and a very cool video or two. Started the journey going to see my friend Paul Hooper play the Stardome in Birmingham, hung out with him Matt Davis, Jane Haze,and a bunch of other weirdo. Kept going that night and ended up in Tallahasee where i had 6 great and incredible shows with a freaky little nut job named Amy Dingler. Just a little psycho but i love her. Ft walton as usual is a bloodbath of "lets try to get the comedian fucked up"They didn't. Jacksonville Fl woo hoo

I did something that i haven't done in awhile,I opened for someone, I was the middle dude for last comic standing finalist Jeff Dye..He is a great and funny guy but that should have never happened,don't get me wrong his crowd loved him But cute nice guy never trumps realist funny large semi scary black guy. But i do like him and he did me a nice little plug. Also a funny video that might be promo for an upcoming show...

If you people don't know about my webgirl/fucking funny comedian Jane Haze you need to find out,She's not only funny and knows how to do seo work but a great wingman ,driver and just fucking the shit...Without Jane hanging with me the past few weeks i think i would have gotten into so much trouble..

Go to the YouTube Channel and watch The Video we did.Much thanks to mr.Webb

More info coming soon.

Herpes, tow trucks, and the dozens

2009-02-26T15:51:00.003-06:00

Once again life on the road can get odd.So this past weekend went to Johnson city Tn,and survived the weird small town mentality with the help of Jane Haze and the new club manager Jesse"im 26 and stupid"Hill, that guy is nuts and i like him. Got to see Sara on this trip, I don't know how to describe Sara we dated last year for a time ,then things got weird then we didn't. Anyway she contacted me a few weeks ago with a most interesting pick up line..."when you come to jc we're fucking and I'm giving you Herpes." Well being that she and i have had some the most incredible sex ever that statement was both intriguing and scary, I didn't want herpes, cause herpes are like pringles once they pop they just wont stop. So on the Saturday night show she shows up, kisses me, bites me and then goes into her purse and pulls out a large stuffed herpes..It was a toy a big yellow with eyes herpes.i was relieved. Anyway we hung out till i got her drunk and sick.Thats when the real fun began,Jane,Jesse and i went to a gay bar to meet his sister,where we were accosted by a drunken alien gay boy who kept asking if we came in a black beamer cause it was so fucked up he didn't know if drove one or had rode in one. Being in a gay bar is nothing new for me, as a hetrosexual male from Memphis going to gay bars underage was the only place we could drink, so not much shocks me.I was shocked on this night a little boy looking girl showed us her tits.Oh my god, she looked like a twelve year old boy 12 do you understand. The best most perfect set of tits I think I have ever seen. At least d's how she hid them i'll never know. We left and thats when i discovered that the place where Jesse had suggested parking my jeep was a no parking ,parking lot owned by a mexican resturant that didn't open till noon the next day. Fucking cunts. Oh this was where the fun was about to begin,did i mention the snow. Yes i said snow,we're standing outside a gay bar in a snowstorm freaking out trying to find where my ride was,and thanks gay bar for being so nice and letting us into the warm building, cunts. So after many phone calls,a 10 cab ride back to the hotel and then 165 plus 5 dollar tip i had my car back, thanks jesse for not punching that guy in the throat. Off to perkins then bed. Sunday Afternoon, went to knoxville ended up as part of the Spanky Brown Sho Nuff Sunday Show. That was fun but the real fun happened when the real show was over..6 comics alcohol and egos bigger than Ralphie May going off on each other for over 2 hours. Spanky Brown, G.R Godwin, Shaun Jones, Jane Haze, Josh Phillips, and myself.Omg the level of stupidity was amazing just a few highlights

from Jane Haze to Shaun "somewhere in russia is a naked nut cracker"

from Gr to spanky "give it up for the burger king of comedy"

spanky to josh "a pregnant kd lane"

shaun to me "your words have meat on them"

Lots of fun , now I'm fighting a cold that i got from standing in the snow,that the only thing i ever want to get from hanging at a gay bar in johnson city,and yes i kept the herpes its cute and funny and i thank you Sara

valentines day massacre?

2009-02-15T08:06:00.003-06:00

Saturday was a good day,i didn't have to use my ak. i digress, after a very interesting friday night at a party(sorry i missed your show anne) i had the chance to show up at cafe eclectic and do few walk on scenes with the Wiseguys improv troupe.Apparently i can be used as a Edie Amein look alike, thanks Joe. Then headed down to the p&h cafe to see Oracle and the mountain.. love those guys, go buy there cd ..Please..Ran into a few people from high school 20 years ago and had a really good time catching up and making fun of our gay classmates.....

Oh i have a new friend and pr person....Cara you kick ass, more of me everywhere soon..

Check the schedule and see when I'm coming near you...

changes in the blog

2009-02-15T07:25:00.002-06:00

So... here we are again,me looking at you. You looking at me and you see the same ole post and you're wondering do i ever update this thing. Not as much as i wanted to when i started this thing i know i know not what you signed up for a fucking writer and comedian.You want witty you want funny, I want you to but both shirts and cds and come to the shows and help me create my next cd.i kinda cheated on you guys....I found twitter, just a mini blog that suites my daily rants much better. So i think its time we change things here.Heres the new way I'm going to do things .I will post at least twice a week to this blog.No matter how,tired or drunk or pissed or bored or loving life twice a week. One road story that i can never tell on stage and one expanded twitter post.A twitter post that needs a lot more than the 140 that they give me .that won't be the only change to the deranged brain,as you can now see my tour dates, i'll be linking to sites that i love both about comedy,and my hometown of Memphis ok thats it for now..wait nope its not.if you want to see the daily tweets from twitter follow me ..www.twitter.com/mo_alexander

see ya later this week

its been awhile

2008-10-15T00:10:00.003-05:00

ok so its been a while since my last post but its not because i've been lazy but completely insane on the road lately..Lets see Kansas,Macon Ga and both Blacksburg and Galax Va. Oh my God what shit i've been through and what fun
First of all no offense but can we please get rid of kansas i dont why its there and im sure we can reduce some of this 700 billion dollar buyout bullshit if we trade it to china, or some other overpopulated 2nd world nation I HATE HAYS KANSAS HATE HATE these inbred fucks just suck, the emcee goes up and does racist material and not the ironic kind of racist material that i find humorous just racist......grrrr. ok i dont hate manhattan ks. Small crowd but great club great owners great staff its called the cathouse go there and have fun. Topeka just a odd place.fuck'em
The macon laffs comedy club love that place they let me be me ..love them all .
Blacksburg va....no longer do i feel sorry for you, i understand why the media treated you like backwood hicks when that asian kid freaked the fuck out , Cause you are a bunch of cunts
Galax virginia what a weird little place if i had fans like those people nationwide i would have Chris Rock money ,,,more info to come soon go buy the cd laugh through these economic hard times

much love
mo

Enjoy Classic Nig Nog

2008-08-28T18:36:00.003-05:00

if you dont laugh at this yet you haven't heard the story , trust me it not right funny but not right .Thanks Derek for the great graphic. Now folks not only a great graphics but the newest in the line of tour shirts buy yours now 20.00

irony

2008-08-25T16:50:00.003-05:00

my life sometimes can be funny,new blog trying to post at least once a day i bash a certain comedian on here and then join google adsense and suddenly certain comic suddenly has ticket ads on here...hmmm.great let me help him get money great....going to watch an old pryor dvd and set myself on fire.....see you in icu Hey go buy the new cd maybe that will make me happy