From the Mouth of Custom

Newest Video "Viewer Discretion Advised"

2010-09-26T09:35:00.000-07:00

Hey peoples, just thought that i would place the latest Custom Madness Show here as i'm sure out of the three people that read these posts, one of you hasn't seen it lol. The idea behind this video is that more than a year ago i made a video called Dollarstore + Boredom = Custom Madness and it was a pretty random video. That video was where i went to the dollar store and purchased a bunch of random stuff and made a video using said random objects as the subject of the video. This new video is me showing you the viewer the remaining objects that never got used in Custom Madness videos over the last year. The puppets in the video were actually going to be a part of a series i was going to do revolving around the puppets i use in this video as secondary characters with penguin puppets being the main characters called "The Dink The Dude & The Dork" which never got made because i am lazy, but who knows maybe someday i will get around to making that series...probably not though. lol.

America's Male Sexual Reproduction Organ

2010-09-03T06:48:00.000-07:00

Sometimes i envy you americans "alphadog" "i've got a huge cock and ima gonna smack you in the face with it and you gonna nothin about" mentality throughout your foreign policy with dealing with the rest of the world...i would love to get into an arguement with someone and right at the climax of it all, regardless if i was right or not, whip it out, kick the other person in the belly and when they drop to their knees, cock smack them across the face...preferably in front of many people, some of which are their family members, or even better their children. And you americans as a nation get to do that all the time, everywhere you go actually, but we all know, that eventually someone comes up from that preverbial kick to the belly swinging a blade, and /shing off comes your cock.
and then that country's like...."what now america huh huh...where's your dick...oh yeah right there" pointing to the ground ahahahahahahha. At this point, what do you do you have two options,the first one is what any rational person would do....scream like fuck grab your dick and run as fast as your over weight outtashape substance addicted body can run to the nearest hospital...and get that 5 incher that you tell everyone is a 7 incher rethefuckingattached pronto .......buuuuuuuuuuuut because you're the America, you're not rational...you're "BADASS" and this is what a badass does in this situtaion...so play this back again from the beginning...you're the america and you're arguing with lets just say Iraq, and Iraq says we don't have and WMD's and you say fuck yeah you do, and they say, after blah blah blah months you haven't found any WMD's to which you...whip it out, kick to the belly...about to cock smack the Iraq...when OMG! they come back swinging a blade and /SHing! off with your dick!!!! and now the badass america we all know and love emerges....thinking not of your severed manhood, you quickly punch the damn blade weilding iraqi in the face,swiftly kick the blade from his hand, you now badassedly reach down grab your own cock off the ground and cock beat that fucking iraqi until he be getting WMD's popping out his ass. Thats the america we all know and love...the america that would beat a man to death using their very own severed cock to obtain victory.

But like i was saying, sometimes i envy you americans for being this way, but at the end of the day...i would really prefer to have my dick still attached to me, i never have to be so right, that i need lose my dick in a fight lol....but hey, that's just me.

The Man From Utah

2010-08-27T05:40:00.000-07:00

How exactly do you sue someone for 38 Quadrillion dollars when at any given time, apparently, there is only 24 trillion dollars rolling around this planet? This story caught my eye in the newspaper, because the headline, which read: "Plaintiff's claim keeps piling up - to the tune of $38 Quadrillion"

Well let me tell you something...thats eye catching lol. So i determined by using my eyes that the article wasn't long, and seemingly worth reading haha, and read i did. The story explained to me that the plaintiff, a man from Utah suing some land owners for an unpaid consulation to the tune of $64,000. So that by itself doesn't sound all that extrodinary but i read on to find out how exactly one gets from $64,000 to $38 quadrillion. So whilst reading on, i find that the man from Utah had valued the property at $36 billion and asked for 12.5% of the value plus compensatory damages equal to 4 times that value and punitive damages 200 times that value...like holy fuck this guys crazy lol. It reads that the man from Utah put a lien on the property worth $918 Billion!!!

Apparently through out all the legal positioning and legal shinanigans the man from Utah filed additional claims mutiplying his claim a couple hundred times, until we reach the total of $38 Quadrillion!!!

This fucking man is completely insane, but, i guess if this crazy fucker hadn't gone off the deep end, i wouldn't have read the article because no one would have written it. but holy crap man, how do you get the BALLS to write that number down on paper, let alone actually ask another human being to go, and tell other human beings that other human beings owe this human being THAT MUCH MONEY!!! To say out loud, these fuckers over here...hurt me proffessionally and personally to the point where i am now saying, you owe me some 1500 times more money than there is on earth ahhahahahahahhahaha...like for realz hahaha are you fucking serious...he said these words hahahaha. The amount of people that have had to be involved in this story for it to reach this level of notarity is insane.

but what do i know, i don't think i'd have the balls to actually have legal documents drawn up to ask for such currency, but more power to the man from Utah. Down deep inside, i secretly hope he wins his case, and some judge somewhere gets to say, you sir...owe this fucker $38 Quadrillion!!!

So if you have made it this far, i thank you greatly for reading my continued bullshit, you've been you...and blah blah blah...Custom haha

http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/W eirdNews/2010/08/24/15123006.html

Need Input... Seriously

2010-08-22T16:02:00.001-07:00

I have been all but completely forgotten and written off, by the very few people that actually cared about my content within the internet community. As i write this, i doubt entirely that anyone is actually reading it haha, but if you are, don't go thinking that the Custom is having a little ol' pity party for himself up in here...cause that just aint the case lol. Now i have always stated that i made my show for me, and everyone that got enjoyment and/or entertainment from it was just gravy, but now, i find myself wondering if anyone will even watch if i return in the fall as planned? At the effort i will have to go through to upload, if i can at all, this time it seems that i will have to wonder if it's worth all the effort if no one is plannning on returning to the show with me? Because for me to upload video's to my youtube channel, one of two things will have to happen

1. i will have to go to the library and use there computers and upload from there using the hour a day they allow you. If that is enough time to upload a video, i know before it took ussually around 2 1/2 hours, but that was in HD...which i will be dropping if i return to the show. Also, the guy at the library when asked, didn't know for sure if i would be able to upload pictures...and i didn't even ask about video...so thats a big maybe as well. So, i sit here hoping that they will allow me to do such things on their computers, and hopefully the hours will be enough time to successfully upload a video.

2. i find some way to get internet up here at a decent rate without using NWTel. This seems unlikely, but you never know...the internet here is making it neccisary for me to find creative alternatives to accessing the internet so the show can live on. I was thinking about getting a phone where i can get unlimited long distance so i can access this number i found that gives you free internet access if you can phone it and use your cell as a modem...but i'm not sure how that works with the cellular plans here in Canada. Research research research.

So those are the ways that i can foresee the Custom Madness Show continuing in the future, but i may think of other ways if i have to...but the real question is...will you the viewer come back. Because the 150 views i was getting each episode was less than satisfying before the jacked rates in internet costs to bring the show to you...but if they dropped because of the long hiatus then the costs to me per viewer get a little high lol...not that i am saying you aren't worth it...because you guys all are...but content creators need viewers that are communal to keep the show fresh and relevent.

At this point this is just brainstorming, but if you care, let me know...and if you can, spread the word of Custom with whomever you think will appreciate it, and hopefully i can motivate myself to go through whatever i have to go through to return to the airwaves.

I really miss the insanity that became Custom...a character well beyond myself...pieces of you created the Madness and I hope you will be with me as we carve out the next phase of the Madness as we aproach 2011.

As always, you've been you...and as always I've been Custom.

Dry Icyness + Coppertone Mockery

2010-08-11T11:15:00.000-07:00

So first off, this pic is unrelated, and some of you may not even "get" the reference, but for us fogies, it's funny haha. So for the topic today i have decided to write about some stupid things we (coworkers and i) have done recently at work , that are boyishly stupid things to be doing at work. So, the freezer section of work recieves product packed in dry ice, which many of you may know, is very very cold, and if added to water, will explode haha. So that was the first thing we did with it. Coworker Brian came into the break room, and was filling a pepsi bottle with water, and was kinda gigling so i asked what he was up to, with which he repplied, "you should come and see" which i did. At this point i remembered seeing some dry ice placed outside in a box, so naturally i was putting two and two together. So Brian filled the bottle with water and dry ice, placed the lid on fimrly and put the bottle on the ground and we watched as an obvious chemical reaction was occurring within the bottle. But then the chemical reaction calmed down to almost nothing, and Brian decreed that it failed...but then, he thought it might work better if we used pepsi instead of water...so he reset the "experiment" this time with pepsi and set the bottle about 30 feet away near the garbage cans outside the grocery store. We waited and again nothing happened, so we all gave up and went back to what we were doing, them to work and i to my coffee break, but moments after getting back to my seat inside, i heard a pretty loud BOOM! and went running outside to see if it was indeed the bottle...and oh indeed it was. The concoction had blown this pepsi bottle out into an almost unrecognizablly flat piece of platic and thrown it nearly 40 feet from where it had once stood. We thought that that was prettycool, but were saddened we hadn't seen it. Now after getting in trouble for doing the first, we decided to save the next attempt until after work, so we wouldn't get in trouble for doing it during company time. So after work we used a bigger bottle and more dry ice and put it out back where no one could see it. We were expecting an explosion but this time we got a rocket lol. I guess the lid of this bottle did not have the hold that a pepsi bottle has, and burst off the top flipping the bottle over, then propelling it into the air lol...and into the air it went, probably at least 40 feet into the air, and left the property, landing on the highway...we ran away haha, fortunately it didn't hit any cars lol.

Secondly the next week, we wanted to do something different so we decided to have a competition to see who could hold their hand on the dry ice the longest, as there was four big slabs and four of us...it only made sense lol. So Brian and Aldimer were out in that order pretty quickly, but Paul and I held out a lot longer...too long actually. When i looked over to see how Paul was doing, he had no expression on his face at all, and i knew then i was going to lose this competition, and held out a few more seconds and caved. But for his win Paul got a pretty bad "burn", or "frost Bite" which ever way you wanna look at it...I mean my hand was pretty bad, but my hand has more meat on it and that lack of meat, made Pauls hand react a lot worse to the abuse. His hand blistered and swelled pretty badly that night, and he returned to work the next day with his hand bandaged up, and tales of getting a shot for pain at the doctors...which made him nausious the next day. Now don't get me wrong, my hand hurt like fuck, and it did blister in several spots...but i guess that extra second was the difference between being ok like me, and almost dying like Paul lol.

So the point of this post is this...what should we do next with the dry ice that is haha, give us your suggestions in the comment section below, and who knows, we may do it on the next shipment lol.

Thanks for reading, you've been you, and i've been Custom.

Topical Topics about Topics for Topical Blog and/or Show

2010-08-03T18:11:00.000-07:00

Hahahaha, what a douche i are lol. So i haven't been blogging as much as i would like, even with the disruption in service, i should still have been writing and having had something to put up once i got the connection back...and i didn't haha. But lately, more likely because i have lost my muses, the guys from my previous job back home in enderby BC. They were good for sounding things off of and they were good for sparking thoughts and notions and topics for the show, and in this future they would have helped a lot with topics for the blog as well. So idea's right now are scarce and i wish they would come, so if any of you have any topics you would like me to write about you could let me know...like seriously, write them in the comment section below for realz yo haha.

Also, i'm trying to brainstorm ideas for the return of The Custom Madness Show coming to youtube player this Fall. I want to have a bunch of them in the hole before i even make the return...i really miss the process and kinda miss the viewers haha, some of them anyway...for the most of them i could do with or without them either way. I just miss having something to do, and want to get back into the swing of it and give 'er another go. So right now i'm trying to remaster the sound and look of the show and combine the newest version of the show, with the classic random show from back in the day. But like the blog, i need idea's for the content of the show, or there is no reason to start it up again if i can't come up with idea's...it seems like work then, when you have no ideas, and i definitely don't want it to feel like work haha.

So on the topic of topics that's where we stand, and i hope if any of you 3 people that read this blog have any idea's let me know via whatever medium you choose to use and i will appreciate it muchly. and if you aren't subscribed to the main channel, you should...to receive the comeback of the Custom Madness Show!!!

You Know You're Getting Old When...

2010-07-22T19:47:00.000-07:00

So the other day, myself and a young co worker were talking about dogs, and how i had a pug, his name is Bernard, and he is awesome. So i was telling him about Bernard and how awesome he is, how personable he is and how very cute he was, and while I was telling him this I told him that Demi Moore said Bernard is the cutest dog ever, and this is when it happened. The young coworker looked at me and in all seriousness asked "who's Demi Moore, she someone you know?" at first i thought he was joking, then it became very apparent that he was not kidding. WHO`S DEMI MOORE WTF!!!

Have I really got that old, that there are grown ass people that don't know the celebrities I know, really? I thought it was bad when watching an Aston Kutcher vlog on youtube where he was sitting next to Bruce Willias and Ashton looks into the camera and says "Wanted, anything this guys done with" and i was like oh man that's cold hahahaha, but when i scrolled down and read the comments some youtube user actually asked "who's that old guy next to you?" and then i was like WTF!!! who doesn't know Bruce Willis...HE"S FUCKING DIEHARD!!!

It's weird how quickly you become OLD hahaha, but hey even though i am old, it's still nice being awesome all the time makes being old a little easier to handle.

So with that little tale out of the way i can big you adieu, you've been you and i've been custom.

Tomato Ketchup Brings Forth Logical Question

2010-07-20T18:27:00.000-07:00

So the other day, i'm standing in the condiment aisle at the grocery store and i'm looking at all the various brands of ketchup, and something that caught me as odd was the fact that every bottle made sure to mention that it was "tomato" ketchup, which led me to ponder "why the hell would you say its tomato ketchup, isn't that implied?"...but then i was like "are they implying that there are other ketchups that aren't tomato?" holy shit now i say, and off to the google i go. So i google "Why does bottle of ketchup say tomato ketchup" and i got a site that had someone else asking the same question...so i', not alone in my thinking haha, thats hardly the case. So the answers led me to google for more as they just blew my freaking mind!

So the googling led me to find out that the oldest forms of ketchup were made from either walnuts or mushrooms...for real, walnut ketchup and mushroom ketchup...doesn't that just sound disgusting? I mean really, wow that sounds gross haha. So delving deeper into the ketchup underworld i find that other types of ketchup include anchovies, oysters, lobster, banana, curry, mango,lemon, blueberry, apple-horseradish, strawberry, plum,kidney bean, cucumber, cranberry, and grape... like seriously WTF!

You and i now live in a world where tomato ketchup does not stand alone haha, it just happens to be the top dog of ketchups lol, hopefully never to be trumped by any other, because as a person from north america, i don't think i could deal with mushroom ketchup making a comeback haha.

So with that being said, you've been you, and i've been Custom...until next time, go try some banana ketchup, my filipino friend says its delicious lol...live life on the edge mother fuckers.

Letter to the Editor

2010-07-16T17:05:00.000-07:00

So in my last post i kind of freaked out a little...just a little though haha, nothing serious. So if you didn't read it the jist of it was my local ISP sucks some serious ball (NorthwestTel) so i decided to write a letter to the editor of the local paper and for some reason i thought maybe you would like to read it haha. So i have included that below. But in the letter i infer to a documentary style rant series that i want to make called "Bad Utilities NWT" where i confront all the issues people in the north face against their utility companies and specifically the telephone company over internet access. It would be nice to get back into video making on youtube, but right now it is just so expessive i can't justify it at this time, other than if i go through with the documentary rant. So if you feel like it, you can read the letter below.

"My family and I just moved to your fair town three months back, and have quickly realized that it seems to us anyway, that most utility companies seem to think we live in the Antarctica or something. I'm going to specifically talk about internet costs as an example, but lots more are like in wrongness. Internet costs here are insane! The cost for what you get by itself is deplorable, but when you think of what other places in the world are paying for internet it becomes all the more disgusting, that here in Canada a company can get away with charging what they do for what you get. Back where we moved from, we had unlimited usage of the internet for $40 a month...UNLIMITED! We knew it was going to cost more, but when we looked into it we found that we would have to pay double that for 20gbs of transfer. Just to let you feel the pain, we usually use about 200gbs a month in our house, and while that is extreme and most families do not use that amount, 20gb limit is wrong in this day and age. But what i am more appalled at is the fact that nwtel doesn't even offer an unlimited package for us heavier users to purchase, i mean even at $120 a month which is 3 times the cost back home it would be worth it. But nwtel and other utility companies up here just plain rape their costumers because they can, because what are you gonna do about it...nothing. I mean while researching costs and privileges of internet users around the world, for a video documentary i plan on making about this ordeal, i even learned that you could get unlimited internet in the middle of the Sahara desert...the most desolate place on earth still has unlimited internet access...well i gotta tell you, that this information only made me even madder. I just don't think people in the NWT market know they can say no, we will not pay that. As much as the utility companies may want us to think otherwise, the NWT is still apart of Canada and we should be treated like Canadians and not some third world nation that is just happy they have these amenities, we're not a third world nation, we are Canada a technologically advanced nation and I for one feel our collective pain when i dig deep into my pockets to pay my internet and utility bills every month and so should you."

thanks for reading.

And as always you've been you and i've been Custom

LIFE

2010-07-12T22:07:00.000-07:00

What no post for like two weeks then two in one day WTF? you say, live with it, you're not even reading this, you're an imaginary person i believe is reading this even though i believe it not. As i write this, nothing in life is going well, things in and out of my power just aren't working properly and in there lays the problem. I would like to show some initiative and get to some of the stuff that is in my power to change, but it means putting forth effort when i have all but given up on putting any effort into anything at all any more.

One of the things that i can sort of control is the insane rates that the internet costs here, by going to war with my local ISP. I know there is a very little chance that i can convince the drones that live here that they deserve better service, but they don't know how to do such a thing, they just pay all the prices here because they have to and always have. It's just the way they always say, always just the way that things are done here. Hey $500 a month on internet at a 1/4 the usage i used to use is a good deal right? WRONG! I know that i can try and start some kind of grassroots moevement within the community by writing a letter to the local paper, and i know i can try and reach the people by using youtube and my video making ability to try and provoke change, but that takes effort haha, effort that is hard for me right now.

Everything here sucks and is done wrong, EVERYTHING. and by everything i don't mean almost everything, everything means everything. There isn't a single thing that this town does correctly, and the people here don't even know or care or care to know, and the people that do visavee people that have lived else where don't care to fight any more because they go home, they come here, work...then go home, so why fight for something you won't even be around to use. But what about us other people that do know how bad it is here, and that aren't leaving here any time soon, what about us people that know we live in canada, not some third world nation that can't afford internet or electricity or what the fuck ever else you can think of. CANADA!!!

Seems like people here in Hay River NWT don't even know they are part of the country, cause if they did, they would demand the prices that the other provinces pay. The companies would have you believe that it costs more to get this shit here, it did...way back when they set it up, it's set up, cost over. Fuck you NorthwestTel. I gotta get motivated, I want my YOUTUBE BACK MOTHER FUCKERS AURRRRRGGHHHHHHH.

Monday Morning Memorable Movie #2

2010-07-12T09:03:00.000-07:00

This weeks movie from my childhood is going to 1988 Eddie Murphy movie Coming to America...classically hilarious Eddie Murphy movie. So just like the first of these i did, tom Hanks in "Big" I will be writing what i see or hear that is amussing and giving some commentary on the matter...let us begin...

Holy jeebuz it's titties...this was the first time i'd seen titties in a movie, and gotta say...excited me a lot hahah and then for moments later another nekkid lady to pop out of the water and say "your royal penis is clean your highnes" ahahahaa i remember that being the funniest thing i had ever heard in my life at the time...it still is up there even to this day hahaha.

James Earl Jones "LOOKS" like an african king. haha eddies shirt has a one on it cause thats who he is, #1 haha lame.

Arsenio HAAAAAAAALLLLL woof woof woof. God he looks ridiculous.

She's your QUEEEENNNN to BEEEEEE...she's your queen to be hahahahahha that singing is hilarious....especially the dude that be singing it hahaha and the fact that she looks like latoya jackson don't help hahaha.

what ever food you like hahaha, anything he says she does, bark like a dog "arf arf arf" haha, a big dog "woof woof woof" , now hop on one leg, sound like a orangutan hahahahaha.

awwww baby elephants, so cute.

James Earl Jones "i always assumed you had sex with your bathers, i know i do" hahhahaha

and now he goes to America, because that fixes everything, everyone knows that hahaha. I couldn't imagine being from somewhere like africa or the middle east or even the orient and coming to north america, the massive lifestyle change would be too much haha, the shit we think is important over here would make me laugh if i was from another place in the world hahaha.

Prepare the royal baggage!

"I want a woman who tantalizes my intellect as well as my loins" "where will we find such a lady?" "AMERICA!" hahaha oh how wrong you could be lol.

to oncoming taxi he walks out to the road and places his hand forward..."HALT!" car screeches to halt and the cabby jumps out "YOU DUMB FUCK" hahahaha later he asks, "what does dumb fuck mean?" hahahaha

imagine a country so free you can throw glass on the streets hahahahahha

thats Cuba Gooding jr getting a haircut from all the Eddie Murphy's and arseneo halls as old men haha. Cuba Gooding Jr shows up everywhere, had to work where he got work before Jerry Maguire hahaha.

haha chalk outline of the blind man and his dog hahaha

YES YES FUCK YOU TOO! oh America, how you beguile the whole world lol

When they dress as "New Yorkers" it's hilarious, touristy haha, and then the "Soul Glo" commercial classic haha.

hahaha Arsenio as a woman hahahahahahahahha "i wanna tear you apart...your friend too" ha!

how many people they play in this movie good god almighty AMEN!

and now Eddie sings haha, this should be good. His band Sexual Chocolate haha oh the singing is "good" it really is lol.

Eriq La Salle with a curl hahaha who remembers him from the original ER cast? anyone, nobody? didn't think so hahaha.

McDowells haha, copyright suit, can you hear me McDowells LAWSUIT!

Holy Shit! Louey Armstrong hahaha, haven't seen him in forever.

This movie isn't as good as i remember it haha, but i still love it as i did. OH SHIT! Who yells better than any one in hollywood, thats right SAMUEL L JACKSON MOTHER FUCKER hahaha robbing the Mcdonalds ...this just got awesomer! "Who the fuck is this asshole" hahaha, oh damn! he just got owned by eddie hahaha "Don't make me thrash you" hhahahaha.

haha acid washed jeans lol, on Eddie Murphy looks hilarious. oh the 80's lol.

haha the two bums he gave the money to are the two rich guys from trading places, i forgot about that hahahahahahaa

well, gonna miss the last 1/2 hour because i gotta leave, but it's just the ending, nothing important ever ends at the end lol. until next time.

How Secure Is Your Online Persona

2010-07-08T17:53:00.000-07:00

So most people don't actually think much about the safety of their online persona, but passwords are important to protecting everything you do online. Coming from youtube, i know of many youtubers that had had their accounts hacked by other more nefarious persons haha. So low and behold the site howsecureismypassword.net where you can type in your password or any other password for that matter, and it will tell you how fast with a regular computer. Just for shits and giggles i went on over there, and found that my password would take about 15,000 years haha, now i don't wanna know how accurate that is or need anyone to show me wrong, but thought it was interesting enough to write this little blurb , just to write something. So go on and check yours, just to see, who really knows or cares if it's accurate lol....just try it.

Monday Morning Memorable Movie

2010-06-28T08:31:00.000-07:00

So, at the grocery store I am working at, i close on mondays now, so i'm home until noon...so now that i no longer spend all my time watching or producing youtube videos i watch tv. And lately i have been watching movies from my youth, and i gotta say, your perspective of films changes when you become an adult haha, you notice different things about movies you watched as a kid. This weeks Memorable Movie is Tom Hanks in 1988's "Big". So what I figured I would do, is every week on mondays i would pick a movie on the ol' satelite dish and watch it with my blogger dashboard open, and write what i see or think about the movie as it happens and you can read how i process that movie haha, sounds like a dumb idea right, yeah, but i'm still gonna do it haha, cause this is mine and you're not even reading this ahaha.

The first truly funny moment in this movie is when Tom's character Josh wakes up and realizes he's "Big" and tries to put his little pants on, hahaha they're so small lol.

His freaking boss is the dad from Beverly Hills 90210...the original 90210, holy shit thats Jon Lovitz now hahaha

Elizabeth Perkins was beautiful way back then, I even knew that as an 11 year old, she still is beautiful though.

I don't remember feeling bad for his mom, but i do now, it would be horrible if you woke up one day and your kid was gone, and this strange man keeps phoning you, telling you your kid is ok, and he'll be back soon...hahaha who does that.

Holy Shit the piano scene, hahaha, classic i wonder if Tom Hanks could still do that?

His freaking secretary is Eric Foremans mother from That 70's Show hahaha thats hilarious.

ZOMG Kevin Meany i didn't know he did anything other than standup, the stuff you didn't know when you were a kid haha, I gotta keep doing this, old movies take on new meaning when you actually understand everything that is going on haha.

He's eating the little corn cobs like they are actually corn on the cob hahaha, who thinks of this stuff haha. and when he eats the caviar and just spits it on the floor...hilarious.

Elizabeth Perkins wearing a dress jumping on a trampoline...oddly arousing haha...jump you sexy bitch..JUMP!

Wow, she really looks good with her hair down. I miss when the leading ladies didn't have to be the hottest thing walking the earth, and all sexual and bimbo-ish. Just be beautiful and the people will love you.

To twelve years old and trapped in an adults body, making out with Elizabeth Perkins and having her take off her shirt and let you touch her boob would be insanely hot, like too hot for a twelve year old brain haha. I mean he has a full grown body, but he hasn't had all the full grown experiences that teach us guys control, if you know what i mean....at twelve, even in tom hanks' body i would be premature haha.

I don't think having sex would make me instantly wanna be a grown up, forget about being a kid, stop having fun... i mean i would imagine sex with Elizabeth Perkins would be great, but not enough to forget your whole motivation for life haha....well maybe haha.

and the computers are hilarious, this was ancient ancient times for pc's haha, green letters on black screen haha, really awful games haha. Oh computer time before the computer age, how you know nothing of the future haha.

The scene where Josh goes around seeing things of childhood that he will miss if he stays a man, should be shown to high school students every day before homeroom haha, remind them of what they should be doing instead of what they think they want to be doing.

I guess it would a lot to ask her for a real kiss after she figures out you're a kid haha, i guess Elizabeth Perkins isn't a pedo after all. I think in reality seeing him change into the boy would make me vomit if i were her lol, but thats just me. I'd be all, I had sex with that kid ewwww.

So that was me watching the movie, brought back lots of memories from watching it the first time, but seeing all the things i didn't see the first time around was a trip haha. Makes me wanna watch every movie I've ever watched again ahaha....that would take a lot of time. Oh where to start...Ferris Bueller? no Teen Wolf haha....no i got it... Howard The Duck yes! Howard the Duck would probably be hilarious now hahaha.

So until next time, you've been you, and I've been Custom

Hey You Child...You Suck

2010-06-25T16:46:00.000-07:00

I'm convinced we should stop caring what children do or be. Children are just about a big a waste of time as anything these days, I mean every generation is worse than the last, but that trend is spiraling out of control. Most teens right now, can't spell anything, simple nothing words that everyone that speaks english should be able to spell...you know, the words you learn to spell in like the second or third grade. Everything is so dramatic now, to the point where they cut themselves, or kill themselves or kill everyone, fuck you kid...you're life aint bad. Unless you've been molested or raped by someone, you don't have a leg to stand on with the whole "woe is me, my life sucks". You're a pussy, and you can't spell...did you ever consider that maybe your life sucks, because you suck...did you...ever?

School. Now don't get me wrong, I didn't like school or school work, but i am in no way opposed to learning, I just didn't like being forced to learn shit I wasn't interested in. However, i did understand that an education is a valuable thing to be given, and it is NOT a right. I almost think we should go back to the days when there was no such thing as public school, back when the rich only sent their kids to school, and those poor folks that wanted to learn...they found a way. People seem to think that because everyone is just entitled to their governmentally funded education that it means something, well let me tell you...it doesn't. For your education to actually matter, you have to actually be SMART! imagine that. Just because you showed up every day in high school and crammed your way through all your exams and gotten that worthless piece of paper. Everyone knows unless you add a college degree to that, it means nothing...less than nothing. Children don't care about school, I mean the ones that do do, but they'll always be around. But on a whole there is no need to even try, what with schools doing away with grades and testing and using red pens because it causes undue stress to our fragile children. Fuck you kids...fuck you and die. You may be thinking I'm cruel and some sort of a psycho for thinking this way, but kids are no longer the future we always have been told they are...who the fuck cares what kids do or be. I say we just stop caring about anything they do until they themselves decide that maybe having a life or being something might be a good idea. I say we just raise them as much as they'll allow and then kick them the fuck out at 18, then, and only then...will the person in side them come out into reality, because all these retarded beings wondering my fucked up world. Seriously, have you had conversations with teens these days...it's like seeing the end of the world in every single one of them. Go ahead, look at them do you see that person as your future.

Sex. Pregnancy pacts, high school orgies, open relationships, jealousy bombings, promiscuity beyond any rational thoughts. Sure every teen for all time has thought nothing more than sex, it drives teens. But that drive, drives everything else...well it used to. Boys used to try to be good at things, to get girls to like them, and make out with them, and god willing do more with them than they should. Girls used to try and be that all american girl next door, that you could bring home to meet the parents. Now, my daughters friend at 14 not only lost her virginity but blew the guy, and had anal sex her first time, WTF! haha, not that I wouldn't have tried at 14, but just cause you want doesn't mean you get. Girls are sluts guys are whores, every one is pregnant or sexually depraved by 17 and that age drops every year.

So it sounds to me throughout this rant haha, that maybe i have become a little jaded on teens, its not just teens, its just that thats where they end up, as teens. But kids are stupid too, none of them can do anything, they have no manners, no recpect, no anything...they walk around waiting to die inside.

Kids have it so hard these days, bullshit...its easier than ever to be a kid, nothing is expected of them, and they are allowed to do anything they want...how is that hard. you may tell me i'm being to hard on kids when i say "hey, if you feel like killing yourself, do it right...and succeed for once" but if you're checking out at the easiest part of your life, you aint gonna make to a ripe ol' age...you're just not. So if you are reading this, and you know someone that has killed themselves or is depressed enough to kill themselves or blah blah cry me a fucking river...take the pills and get a life, stop having your family fight your battles and grow a pair. If you have a problem with that you can suck it. All this bullshit is why no one takes north america seriously about anything, we think we have such hard lives, when our only problem is ourselves, and it starts with all the bullshit we tell our kids, and all the bullshit we let them do. I think the next time you think your life is so hard, because school sucks or work sucks or my family sucks or or or or, you should go and have all that same bullshit happening to you, but now, you also live in Iraq or Afghanistan or some war torn shit hole village in Africa. We complain that our boss and our job sucks, but imagine being at that sucky job, listening to that sucky boss while at the same time freaking IED's are blowing up invading soldiers and suicide bombers are lurking around every corner. Our lives are easy every day of the year, and the only thing that sucks more than us as a society is our children.

this has been my rant, you've been you

and i've been Custom

I Watch ALOT of Tv

2010-06-22T16:43:00.000-07:00

So, a few years ago I was watching on the high side of normal amount of tv, probably about ten shows a week, and at the time that was fine, then the writers strike happened and we couldn't just watch nothing, so we turned to the internet to entertain ourselves. Along my journeys on the internet, i discovered that you could easily watch your favorite shows online, but also go back and watch shows from the beginning, so thats what we did. My wife and I started with Lost first, we had heard from family members and people online that it was good, and people seemed down right fanatical about it, so we gave it a try. Now watching like four whole seasons of Lost all at once tends to get your brain a going, and when we were caught up with the current episodes (took about 2 weeks) we needed something else, because as you can remember the strike wasn't short. So we added more shows, and more shows, and more shows, then the strike was over and we finished watching the now shortened seasons of all our favorite shows new and old. Then summer came, and we had months to watch new shows that were still on that we hadn't watched before due to, little interest based on premises and time slot conflicts and whatnot, but now we were able to watch them, and we did. So by now, we are watching like thirty something shows, and we move here...to the northwest territories where the broadband is very expensive and we have to start watching everything on the satellite again. So with this many shows under our belt it was no surprise to us that at years end, we lost 12 shows from our lineup. One to it ending (Lost) and 11 to cancellation. And of them only three were first year shows. So with our biggest, by far, cancellation year behind us, we are looking forward to the fall and new shows. Maybe we won't like any of the new shows and will be left with a semi manageable tv schedule...pshh yeah right lol.

Shows we watch that have been renewed for 2010-2011 schedule: 18 to Life, American Idol, The Big Bang Theory, Big Love, CSI, CSI: Miami, CSI: NY, Californication, Community, Cougar Town, Criminal Minds, Dexter, Fringe, Glee, House, How I Met Your Mother, The League, Life UneXpected, Medium, The Mentalist, The Middle, Modern Family, Nurse Jackie, Parenthood, Skins, Supernatural, True Blood, Two and a Half Men, V, Vampire Diaries

Shows we watch that have been cancelled or concluded: 'Til Death, Cold Case, FlashForward,The Forgotten, Gary Unmarried, Ghost Whisperer, Happy Town, Lost,The New Adventures of Old Christine, Numb3rs, Past Life, Scrubs,Heroes

Gay Retards Make Comeback?

2010-06-20T09:47:00.000-07:00

We have all known for generations now, well at least in more civilized areas anyway, that we don't go calling mentally challenged people "Retards" or "Retarded". It's mean and hateful and not really an accurate portrayal of what they are. Likewise, homosexuals have been called gays, fags, queers, and fagots in a derogatory manner and even though some of these terms are used amongst their own community in none offensive ways, they should be dropped and replaced with the politically correct terms agreed upon. It's not right that certain people can call each other things others can't, just a simple observation. But, that is not the point of this article though. the point i would like to express is this, if these words are dead to their prior usage, meaning never to be used in the past context, we should be able to reclaim them for usage other places in society.

Being GAY: "being gay" to anyone not gay, has always been a descriptive way for heteros to make fun of one another or label weakness or bad decisions, and i think if it isn't associated with being homosexual, we should be able to reassign it to another meaning and not feel uncomfortable if there is a homosexual in earshot. Just saying. People reassign words all the time, I mean come one, gay itself used to primarily only mean...

cheery: bright and pleasant; promoting a feeling of cheer; "a cheery hello"; "a gay sunny room"; "a sunny smile"

...and we reassigned it once before to label the "Gays", so why can't we do it again? just asking cause i think we can, and i think we should. Separating the "Gays" from being "Gay" should be put into practice, because we are never going to stop generations past present and future from using gay the way we do, but if we disassociated the homosexual population from the word, then maybe the stigma associated with the word would dissipate a little.

And in the same boat, the word "Retarded" now we know for sure, that no one likes the word retarded associated with mentally challenged persons the world over, it's mean and inaccurate to their situation, so i don't understand why we couldn't reassign societal context to mean as most use it as "someone who has in a given situation failed due to the lack of forethought in their intelligence range" in simpler terms, someone who has done something stupid because they didn't use their brains. People call each other retarded all the time, and it isn't meant as an actual question of you being mentally challenged or not, but more "what the fuck is wrong with you, did you even try thinking before you...." so i don't see why we can't still use phrases and statements like this, and not need to worry about offended people that the words are no longer associated with. Part of leaving these words in the past, is bringing them into the future, and i think this is how we should do it, but reassigning the meanings, and devaluating the past usages. Hey, it's just a thought, and all i'm doing is spitting them out for you and i to ponder over.

So if you agree or disagree or have idea's on who to word it better, let me know in the comments, don't worry about me, opinions matter here, just be cordial in your arguments.

So until next time, you've been you and i've been Custom

Drunk Girls Are Funny Mkay

2010-06-17T19:22:00.000-07:00

We all think of girls being so proper and incapable of being retarded like us men,
but occasionally even the fairer of our species breaks down and does something that we as men deem picture worthy and picking odd places or methods of urination is pretty funny to us guys, so when I found these picture perfect moments on my journeys throughout the internet, I just had to post them all here together.....love the girl pissing herself.....can't get funnier than that. She looks so embarrassed, mortified to her very core hahaaha. Can you imagine, she would never live that down hahaha, ever time she drinks from then on, someones gonna ask if she has located the bathroom before she begins ahhaha. At that point you might as well either get new friends and give up on your current life, or never drink again lol, which ever you do, just make sure it doesn't happen again. I mean come on, how many men wouldn't take these pics if they saw them occurring? I know I would not pass up the chance to take these golden pics, just a thought...this is is just the kinda shit i got rolling around in my head all the time, glad to see there are others out there documenting these awesome events, so at least there is proof that us guys aren't the only ones losing our dignity whilst indulging in a little alcoholic beverage.

Drinking With Ones Self

2010-06-16T19:52:00.001-07:00

So I just watched the commercial for Stolichnaya Alcohol where Hugh Heffner is having a drink with another Hugh Heffner...and the idea of the add is the hook line "would you have a drink with you?" which got me thinking. Would I have a drink with me? Shit yeah I would, many have contemplated what two of me would do to the world, and if you know me personally or just form my youtube show, you know full well, that two of me talking together would be a show unto its self haha. If you have ever had a conversation with just one of me, you know that another of me is just can add fuel to that fire and who knows what messed up notions and or conversations that would bring forth. Just a quick notion I thought I would entertain, you may disregard if you like, I won't mind. If this is the the first post you're reading, trying reading some others with a little more substance haha.

So until next time, this was the madness

and I'm Custom

Could Be the Worst Overall Film I've Ever Seen

2010-06-14T19:22:00.001-07:00

What movie, Cold Storage. This is a very very very bad film haha. But, it could be entertaining to watch if you know everything that is going to happen, and that it indeed is an awful movie. The movie starts out in a hallway with a man pleading through a door for his girlfriend whom has seemingly just broken up with him, to give him another chance. Second shot, the girl friend on the other side of the door, arguing back without a shirt on. Now I'm all for gratuitous flaunting of the female form, but how the fuck does her being in her bra add anything of substance to this scene, that's right, it doesn't. So right there is red flag number two, oh what was number one you ask, the fact that it's named "Cold Storage" is red flag number one that this may indeed be a very bad film. So, forgetting all that, the girlfriend tells the boyfriend that she at the very least needs time by herself, and is going to get this time by going to another town some ways away to be in a play for three or four weeks. Also, this scene is acted out by two of the worst actors i have ever seen in lead roles since the 80's. I can deliver the lines more believably, in fact, whilst telling coworkers about how bad this film is, I had to actually say, "no sorry, i said that line to well, i'll do it over so it's bad...like the movie haha". So, the girlfriend leaves and goes on her trip to wherever this stupid play is and while driving at night, she looks away from the road, but for a mere second and swooping down into her windshield is a mother fucking owl! Smashes the windshield, startling her all to hell, causing her to spin out of control. As she is spinning she is thrown out her driver side window out into the road.

Her is a honking huge red flag, get ready...it's a good one. When she is thrown from the vehicle the cut to a shot of her hitting to pavement head first. But, she lands directly on the top of her head with her feet straight up in the air. Seriously? I mean, is that even possible? to be thrown of the side window, of a spinning car, out away from the car, and land perfectly upright? and also, just stop dead in your tracks when you do land on your head. The girls body was thrown from a car and landed on its head, and she had no road rash on her face or any real significant damage other than that of her miraculous bump to the top of her head hahaha. So, from here the story gets worse. She lay on the road, obviously hurt and about to lose consciousness when a man stops and picks her up and takes her back to his truck, and drives her to his cabin in the woods. There, he keeps her, even after she dies and treats her like she's her girlfriend and even buys her a wedding dress in town. Among other things he buys. This character is mentally challenged and deranged to say the least, so the townies, they know of him and his weird quirks. The store clerk knows he comes every week to buy chicken soup or something retarded like that, but this week he's buying anything and everything that would cover up the smell of a decomposing body, and fly traps and other nefarious disturbing things that should have been a red flag to anyone with half a brain haha. But I digress, so about this time, the victoms boyfriend shows up at his girlfriends sisters house asking if she she's heard from her sister since she left...yesterday haha. Yeah, they are already worried that something has happened to her, but hey, who am i to judge. So jump a few obvious plot points, and they end up in the town where she is being held, and the local 5-0 aint buying anything, standard thriller bullshit, the police aint buying nothing haha. So they go investigating themselves, which leads them to the local thrift store. The lady inside says she doesn't recognize the girl in the picture, but then (this is where the writer takes some big leaps haha) asks what size dress she wears. At this point i can't help but think this may be the worst movie i have ever seen, but lets continue. The sister says, "around a 6" then the lady proceeds to tell her "that no woman in this town is a size 6 haha, they wish though....but oh wait...a man came in a bought a wedding dress for the little lady...it was a size 6"

HOLY SHIT i say, did that really happen? did the writer of this movie, really make the break in this case be that the whole town is filled with fat bitches, and the only dress sold to a size 6 wearing broad must be her missing sister....yes, yes he did hahahahahahahahha. So jump ahead some more dumb plot junk, and the pychos neighbor notices that he has a girl over, and goes over to introduce himself to the little lady. when he breaks into the house and sits next to her,(all the time talking to her) he finally notices that she's dead. So what does any rational human being do? thats right, he STEALS! the BODY!!!

So cut forward to his cabin up the road, inside his room, the body in the bed under the tousled covers, with him sitting in a chair next to the bed, wearing a shirt and his boxers. Now we are supposed to infer that he and the deceased engaged in some sexual activity...and yes that just happened. But before you can really question what is going on, the original psycho burst through the door with a big club, throw in some "this isn't what it looks like" him throwing him out, "i'll deal with you in a minute"
blah blah blah, but where this scene gets its gold from, is when he returns to the bedroom and says with all seriousness to the body, "Him honey? why him, not HIM!!!" and he turn to kick the other guys ass. Yeah, he just blamed a dead woman for her dead body being defiled by yet another psycho. So, he kills his neighbor/friend and goes about his business. Then the sister and the boyfriend show up, there's fighting, a guy thrown down a well with the dead body, a few explosions, the police finally figure out some shit, there's a stand off, and it's ended by the sister stabbing the psycho through the eye with a broken shovel handle...yeah...though the eye haha. So thats what happened. Bad concept, bad writing, bad directing, bad acting, bad production, bad marketing, bad bad bad.

What floors me about shit movies like this, is that someone wrote that down on paper, then decided it wasn't good enough, rewrote it, and ended up with this...as good enough to start shopping it around! So not only did this idiot convince himself that this was great, he also convinced someone else, who convinced more people, then got lenders to lend them MONEY, then they started hiring crews, and casting "actors" and then paying for props and venues to film...THEN they starting filming and editing and post production...then they actually released it, for people to watch. Like seriously, so many people thought this was a good idea, it actually makes me think that more of the world is fucking retarded than i thought.

But really, you'll have to watch it yourself to really appreciate the true badness of this film. But be ready to laugh because most of this film is very laughable.

Thats my opinion on that, this has been the madness

and I've been Custom

When Gays Reach 20% Christians Lose?

2010-06-10T17:47:00.000-07:00

So I was reading this article today about cable station Bravo, and this guy in the comment section was going off on a rant about how he wasn't going to watch Bravo any more because he believed that Bravo was showing him way more gays then he thought was right, based on federal statistics on the gay population. Haha, yeah...he felt that the media was inflating the gay population, making us believe that the gay population was up near 20% of the population and that he thought this pro-gay propaganda had to stop, and he was the one that was going to stop it. One after another, people engaged him in debate about the subject, but you know as well as i know, this guy was not gonna stop, not gonna budge an inch. What I thought was dumb about the whole thing was this, him and the people he were fighting with were fighting about the percentage of the population that is gay, according to him that is. Everyone else was arguing with him based on his bigoted views, and how being gay wasn't wrong and blah blah blah. But he kept saying that the actual population percentage that was gay was 1.4%-4% of the nation and because these numbers were tabulated by a "Pro-Gay" establishment they must be true, therefor he was right and everyone else was wrong...BUT. What the fuck does the percentage matter, who cares how many gay people there are, they're here they're queer, get a calculator? How does you knowing how many gays there are matter for anything, why do you make a stand on this piece of truth that you have somehow acquired? People floor me with what they'll base an "argument" on. Usually those untra christian types base it solely on it being wrong and god hates you for being, or hates you for tolerating them being, why fight about how many gays there are.

Weird Things I Think at Work

2010-06-09T18:33:00.000-07:00

Ok, so if you know me, you know i'm always thinking of weird things when i'm working because frankly work don't take a lot of brain waves to accomplish. So, until now, all those weird idea's went into The Custom Madness Show on youtube, but now, i get to write them here with a lot less production haha.

So with that said, today's weird thought that went through my head today was this. Extraordinary famous people, doing ordinary things. Yeah, you heard me. Imagine Beyonce sitting on her couch eating a peanut butter sammich, go ahead, imagine it right now. It's weird, when you think about it isn't it, she looks weird eating a plain peanut butter sammich. It really struck me as weird, I mean think of all the normal boring ordinary shit you do in a day, stuff you never really consider that the uber famous people of our society probably does on a daily basis the same as you and me haha. Like picture Tom Cruise waiting for his toaster to pop. Imagine him eating that toast, plain toast...Tom Cruise eating plain toast? Barrack Obama watching an infomercial haha, yeah an infomercial for shamwow haha. I mean famous people are still people, but we as a group seem to make it that they are beyond doing the simple things in life, so much so that it seems weird that they would even do such things. You think, well, they must have people that make toast for them, or that they would eat fancier food than a peanut butter sammich....and god forbid they are lame like the rest of us and watch infomercials. It really amuses me to imagine it all. George Clooney washing dishes, Denzel Washington folding laundry, freaking Brad Pitt whackin off haha, yeah, even Bradley Pitt probably beats it. I would love for someone, even me haha, to take photo's a celebs doing ordinary tasks, staged, not staged, either way they would be interesting photos.

Just a thought, thats what i do, sometimes it works, others not so much. I'm just saying this is how i think, and this is what i was thinking today.

If you would like to participate, why don't you put some celebs/boring task combos in the comment section, and lets see how many good combos you guys can come up with ok.

Let me have it. I've been me, you've been you

I'm Custom

Pre Schoolers on Anti Depressants

2010-06-08T09:13:00.000-07:00

Currently in the United States of America, there are over 1,000,000 preschoolers that are clinically depressed.

Really? i mean really? We are obviously doing something wrong when our youngest children are chemically depressed. Don't get me wrong, I fully understand that depression is the real deal, and the days of "housewives Syndrome" are long behind us, the housewives of america aren't just bored or overstressed and that's it, throw all that on top of be biologically chemically hormonally unbalanced, and life gets unmanageable. But we've come to a time where PRESCHOOLERS! are the fastest growing group of anti depressant users. Like seriously WTF are we doing. Chemicals are chemicals and hormones are hormones, i know that all this has a lot to do with how we feel...yet none of us feel the need to do anything about it. What are we doing as a society at large, that is causing all of us to become chemically and hormonally unbalanced to the point where 15% of all of us with become clinically depressed, and 15% of those people will commit suicide. Obviously something we are doing as a huge group is making our bodies malfunction on many levels, and it would be great if instead of introducing more pills, doctors maybe tell us how to not become that way. I assume it's all the basic shit that causes every illness, and they would be don't smoke don't drink, eat well and exercise.

But we can't do that, thats crazy. Don't get me wrong, i'm slothful all the time, and don't eat well, or exercise or do well do well do well, about the only thing i do do alright with is drinking, which i do very seldom and never to excess, and I quit smoking 8 years ago. But if we have preschoolers not being able to deal with life because of us lacking in the skills to be a living organism anymore, we might wanna think about that. Preschoolers don't do things or have lives for them to suck at, so the notion of clinical depression in a 3-5 yr old seems WTFish to me.

I don't know, i may be crazy, probably depressed...but that's all that matters to me at the moment, you've been the reader and I've been Custom

The Poop Thing

2010-06-05T09:51:00.000-07:00

so, pooping...we all do it thats no secret, the secret lies with when we do it. But the real secret of the poop thing is this, when GIRLS do it haha....aha! girls poop...one of the most rarest of sightings... the girl shitting up a falaffle of a horrible mess and rank stank us men unknowingly smell and wonder aloud "who did that"

But underneith it all, all us dudes, we know you girls take shits, we know this because it's not something that you can just...not do.

But us men live in ignornace of it becasue the image of the girl you started dating or your mom, or your GRANDMA fighting through a stuborn shit is just to much for most dudes to visualize through haha.But sometimes, we get to know...and thats one of the weirdest moments for a guy....knowing that as you sit there, or stand there, or whatever you are doing...but knowing for sure, that right at that moment...a chick...is taking a shit.

Its a surreal moment when you know a chick is taking a dump. Especially when you aren't familiar with the chick in a carnal way if you catch my drift. Because for men, really, the only woman they ever really know well enough to know when they are taking a dump, is a long time relationship ie girlfriends and or wives.So knowing that a stranger or friend or casual aquaitance of the female persuation is taking a ranchy shit...is just bizarre. You can't deny it... ladies, you try your best to keep the secret, and dudes you can't deny that knowing is strange, and that you'd more often than not not know this is going on.

Picture you mom taking a poooooo

Now picture that hot teacher you would do anything see in the buff...squeezing off a hard one...

Picture Miley Cyrus,picture Megan Fox, picture Beyonce gripping the bowl as they fight through the most painful shit of their lives.

Now picture the girl of your dreams, be it someone you just hooked up with, or someone you only wish you could...picture them fucking unloading the most putrid disgusting vile gutload of liquid gut junk you can imagine...imagine them spraying the bowl all kinds of disgusting shades or green or brown.Go ahead, picture it all...deny it not...it happens and there is nothing we can do about other than try to deny it happens.

but ever once and a while a girl goes into the bathroom and comes out a shitter lol...you know based on how much time she was in there, you know what she did...you know it...

and god forbid you actually hear it...and then the smell

deny all you want, but when it's only her in there...you know what she did... and she would be mortified if she knew you knew lol...

believe me haha... so bring feminie fecal disposal into the light of day...

and tell that girl you know what she did...and it's ok that it's disgusting... you'd still hit that haha

unless it's your mom...but thats a different post all together haha

So until next time that is what i have been thinking,
Custom

Oh the Ravens, Nevermore

2010-06-03T11:23:00.000-07:00

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,

i came upon a raven playing, stole his ball and left him teary

hahahahahhahahahahaha.....I so evil i think i may soil myself. Since moving here, one of the obvious differences from back home is the local avian pest, the ravens. Back in the Okanagan we had crows, like a lot of places, they were very pesty, and not the nicest sounding birds, but here, we have ravens, the crows larger, more annoying weirdo cousin haha. One of the most annoying thing about the ravens is the notion they seem to have, that they, because they be so big i assume, are tougher than everything walking or flying. So this arrogance has irked me from the get go. I often speak of one day loving to be graced with the feel of one or more of them impacting heavily upon my boot...yeah lmao i would love to punt one of them. Ravens also have this thing where they mimic a lot of things they hear, so there voices i guess sound really weird because they are making all these no birdie like noises.

So today on the way to work, by the bank, i noticed a raven jumping around playing with something in it's beak. I thought, wow, look at that, a raven...been a while since i saw one of those i say to myself sarcastically. But then, i notice the ball, the poor damn raven, had found a bouncy ball, you know the ones, the super bouncy balls we have all played with at one point in time. He seemed to really be intrigued all to hell with this ball, and because of this and my growing hatred for the birds prompted me to lunge at the bird, causing him to drop said ball. Now at first i was just going to leave it there, but then as i walked away, something in my head said "Take It".....and i did mwahahahahahahahahaa oh how I did. I picked it up and showed it to that dumb bird, and mocked him, "I have your dumb ball you dumb bird...how you like them apples...fuckin' eat it bird" and walked away, bouncing that ball down the street, and all day at work haha. I care not, what that fucker bird thinks, but i hope he never forgets the day i stole that ball from him...i hope he misses that ball to his very core...i hope he lives with the knowledge that i have his ball, for all the days he has left in this world, that, would make me a happy happy man.

thats all that mattered to me so far today,

Custom

You Got Titties and/or Flow, Say Mommy No More

2010-06-02T18:38:00.000-07:00

Haha, how bout that for a first blogpost title. But there was no other way to put it as you will soon find out. But first, I would like to welcome you to the first post on this, my newest blog. My previous blog of interest was my personal blog where i mostly kept all the junk I found around the internet for my friends to see and readers a like. It was also the home to my youtube channel named CustomMadness. My previous blog was at CustomMadness.Ca and wasn't really ever a passion for me, not a real blog...just a collection of web junk and personal links. But I thought as I was tiring of being a full time youtuber, that i would go back to what I used to do more frequently, back in the day, and that is blogging. If you know my youtube show, and liked that, you are more than likely going to like this blog. This blog is going to be the home of all the thoughts i have that would ordinarily make up the bi-weekly Custom Madness Show. All the same madness with a lot less noise and bandwidth usage haha (if you follow me you know my issues with bandwidth).

So with a semi introduction over with, I will get on to the topic of the day, being the titties lol. So, where i work, and in the world at large, i come across children, but mainly for this story we're going to mainly focus on girls. Not saying that boys never do this, but it's mainly a female thing, and that thing is using the word "Mommy" far past appropriate of an age. You've heard it, you can probably hear it right now...a young girl who wants something whining out the word "mommy" in that oh so annoying tone that we all know and hate. And it's the hate that makes the tactic work, moms just want the kid to shut up, so for the most part they give in to whatever that kid wants. "MOMMY!". But I have this thing about grown ass children using this tactic well beyond the years in which it could be deemed socially acceptable. And as a rule of thumb, if you got titties or your flow, you say mommy no more! PERIOD (no pun intended haha). If you got jugs and or your monthly bitch geyser you should probably stop acting like your 7 years old and try asking for something like the young adult that you are. Kids today seem to want us to think they should be treated as our equals when they are still romping around the world thinking that their mother, is still their "mommy". Gonna have to make a decision annoying little bitch, you want to be able to go out with boys, wear makeup, smoke whatever, swear, and disrespect anything that moves, but still act like a child...do you want me to come over there and smack you like the little bitch you are, cause i will...trust me. And just to be a dick i'll throw your cell in the river too...just for the giggle factor hehe.

So in closing, if you are reading this (i doubt it, girls like you can't read) and you got bazoombas or your crimson wave, grow up and drop the mommy gig, you should have got all you wanted out of it before you went and grow'd your ladyhood. So the rest of us don't have to hear the whine of mommy coming from someone who can be one.

But that's just me,

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