From the Mouths of Babes: Sisterly Conversations on Life

Sisterly Conversations on: Top 10 Christmas Songs!

noreply@blogger.com (TheCLadies) — Mon, 02 Dec 2013 03:39:00 +0000

Happy December! 'Tis the Season! Happy Holidays! Happy Hanukkah! Season's Greetings! Joy to the World! Winter Solstice! Happy......yeah that's all I've got. as you well know, if you've looked at a calendar or turned on any television station and watched the commercials playing, it's December 1st, which means there are only 25 more days until Christmas. this also means it's an acceptable time to start doing things such as setting up your Christmas tree, putting out your decorations, planning the menu for your Christmas feast and generally raging in the crowd at the mall or shopping location of your choice. it also means its time to crank up the Christmas tunes! so without further ado, here are my top ten choices to get your season started off on the right foot.

also, these are in no particular order because that would be like choosing your favorite child, which we all know can't (errr.....shouldn't) be done.

10. Brenda Lee- Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree

to kick it off, a little Christmas classic. who doesn't love to jam along to this song any time it comes on? which, in the course of a month is probably a lot.....so jam away. jam. away.

9. Vince Guaraldi Trio- Linus and Lucy

if you've ever had the pleasure of meeting my dad, then you'll know that he is obsessed with A Charlie Brown Christmas, so naturally this soundtrack was a childhood Christmas staple. this song in particular gets me in the Christmas mood like no other! it also makes me feel like i should be at some classy, swanky holiday party- drink in hand, wearing a glamorous dress. except i'm usually in my bedroom cursing a roll of Scotch tape while trying to wrap a nightgown for my mom or something.

8. The Jackson 5- Santa Claus is Coming to Town

eh, i really have no explanation for this one. i don't even like Michael Jackson. carry on.

7. Kelly Clarkson- Grown Up Christmas List

uhhhh is a Christmas song supposed to make you emotional and maybe even kind of weepy, depending on the time of the month? whatever, don't look at me.

6. The Cast of "Glee"- Last Christmas

i like all versions of this song, but for some reason i had this one by the cast of Glee stuck in my head all season long a few years ago. it was simultaneously the best and worst Christmas of my life. also, here's a clip of Lea and Cory making sweet, sweet music. :(

5. Mariah Carey- All I Want for Christmas

uhhhh duh. we'll ignore that time she redid this song as a duet with Justin Beiber though. #nightmares

4. Ron Sexsmith- Maybe This Christmas

dis be mah Christmas jaaaaaaaaaam. thank you, The OC for introducing me to this beauty as it played over a montage of Ryan and Marissa holiday shopping at the mall (that ended with Marissa getting arrested for shoplifting a watch). i mean, what are the holidays without a little thievery, ya know?

3. John Lennon&Yoko Ono/Maroon 5- Happy Xmas (War is Over)

it's a tie! obviously, the John Lennon version can never be touched, but i enjoy the Maroon 5 rendition as well. decide for yourself. i've included both. except the John Lennon video is kind of sad and the Maroon 5 one is just a bunch of pictures of Adam Levine, so it's pretty happy in comparison. and just pretty.

2. NSYNC- Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays

i love this song for multiple reasons. 1) the NSYNC Christmas cd was another childhood staple for me and Alanna (whether she chooses to admit that or not is another story) 2) me and my roommate, Bianca, used to listen to this cd even when it wasn't Christmas time 3) this music video and 4) it's featured in the Christmas classic I'll Be Home for Christmas with JTT, which i just found out has been added to Netflix (!!!!!!!). brb, watching it.

1. Jordan Pruitt (but really Donny Hathaway)- This Christmas

this song (in this version) used to play all the time when i worked at DSW and you could often find me jamming out in the stock room whenever it was on. but let's be real: Donny is far superior to Jordan.

well, that's it ladies and gentleman! i hope this list finds you in good spirits this holiday season. just remember, don't stress too much, even though there's one less week of shopping time between Thanksgiving and Christmas this year. maybe try getting some safety/survival tips from HERE before venturing out to the mall. i mean seriously, take that into consideration. girlfriend knows her stuff. she survived. TWICE. plus, you don't want to get trampled to death at the mall. it's just not a good way to go out.

cheers!

Sisterly Conversations on: The V.M.A.s L.I.V.E. blogged

noreply@blogger.com (TheCLadies) — Mon, 26 Aug 2013 00:40:00 +0000

7:10 PM:
Alright so let's just start with the obvious injustice: Ellie and Calvin losing out on best collabo video to the gender-confused duo of P!(?)NK and the dude from Fun.(?!!!!?!) What. The. Eff?! Ellie looked so adorable out there on the red carpet, buff, dainty, and British as usual. Is it because none of their names involve some ridiculous form of punctuation? Whatever...these music video love birds deserved the award and their love affair of my dreams will always be memorialized by Goulddiggers everywhere.

Lovers. Don't worry Ellie & Calvin...there's still song of the summer coming up!

-Alanna

7:35 PM:
let the drinking game commence! feel free to follow along at home. we've gotten our template from the one and only Buzzfeed. it can be found here. so far we've drank to people we've never heard of, the multiple times they've said "song of the summer", Ariana Grande (who!?) looking uncomfortable and someone comparing Austin Mahone to Justin Beiber. although i think Alanna is just drinking because Ellie Goulding lost.

we've also added a new category: drink every time you have to mute the tv because you're annoyed. you'll be dead in an hour and also watch the whole show on mute. feel free to add it to your repertoire.

cheers to the VMA's! and Godspeed.

-Victoria

8:00PM
Interpersonal therapy is perceived as a core therapeutic technique...sorry...I am technically supposed to be reading for school this week, but I have been consumed by the teeny-bopper world and it is heinously difficult to concentrate on reading when you have 30 year old announcers doped up on their choice of Adderall cocktail rambling on about whether Miley or 1D will win the song of the summer. What? Lady Gaga is the opening act??? This is the beginning of the end.

8:12 PM:
GUYZ. the non-host host basically just confirmed that NSYNC will be reuniting tonight. in case you've been living under a rock for the better part of a week, rumors have been swirling that the Fab Five will be teaming up again tonight to celebrate Justin's lifetime achievement award. or basically they just got sick of everyone asking them about it and just decided to get it out of the way. either way, i've been dreaming about this moment for YEARS! i may cry. one can only hope they bust out any of the following outfits:

wouldn't that suck if his "not so solo performance" ended up being with Jay-Z or Timbaland? or that Austin Mahone kid? or a hologram of Michael Jackson? i would cry.

either way i'll be crying.

8:18 PM:
Miley Bynes. calling it now. i hope you're watching, Liam. and judging your choices and your future.

8:24PM:
So we were only going to update this every half hour or so. But now that Miley has just burned all of our retinas, I can declare her a HOME-WRECKER for sure. Robin Thicke, I'm disappointed. Paula Patton, I'm sorry. Ellie Goulding, stop dancing and looking entertained by this ridiculousness.

8:55PM:
well. i'm not entirely too sure what's going on here. but i did just see this commercial for some reality show about bartenders (tenderesses?) that takes place in Dallas. way to make us all look like trashy hicks people. also everything that has happened on these awards is why people hate America.

9:05PM:
Justin Timberlake. NO. WORDS.

we are idiots and can't figure out the 21st century, so click here to watch our reaction video.

9:41PM:
well. we've totally tuned out of these awards. mostly because we spent the past 45ish minutes trying to figure out how to post the above ridiculous video and mostly because, really, what is there left to live for now? also i've had roughly three glasses of wine and i have to work in the morning. although Adam Lambert did just come out. what is he doing here? UHHHWHATDYAWANTFROMME? oh, presenting an award to that undeserving Justin Bieber wannabe. where's the wine?

9:46PM:
wheelchair Jimmy is up now. he looks like's put on a few pounds. and possibly shaved his arms.

10:18PM:

*The End* (just as good as the rest)

Justin dedicates his award for Video of the Year to his "granny"! *Tear*

Allison Williams aka. Marnie from Girls aka. my girl crush introduces Katy Perry in a boxing uniform and tiger print sports bra under the Brooklyn Bridge o_O what?

*Rawr* Jump rope...don't fall! Work it out! Can a brotha see some squats?!

And that's all from Brooklyn. Thank you for following the Sisters on their VMA journey...until 2014, fellow moon-men!

-Alanna
&Victoria

PS: JT STILL RUNS THIS BITCH!!!

Sisterly Conversations on: Things I Tried to Hate (But Couldn't)

noreply@blogger.com (TheCLadies) — Sat, 24 Aug 2013 03:40:00 +0000

every once in a while, you just have to man up and admit you were wrong about something. for me, this doesn't happen often (since i'm essentially perfect), but it does happen occasionally. except in the case of mine and Alanna's crappy internet. i am 100% correct and justified in my hatred, because it sucks and it's the reason i'm blogging at Panera 35 minutes before closing time, while a 16 year old employee sings along to the satellite radio station and passive-aggressively vacuums around the table next to me. it's a strategy we used at DSW to get people to leave. i know your tricks, kid.

but i digress.

recently i have realized that there have been many books, movies, people, songs, etc. that i have been adamantly against.......until i actually tried them. after all, they say not to judge a book by its cover right? (except that's the ONLY way i ever pick out books, so that phrase doesn't really apply in this situation.) but you get what i mean. the following is a list of things i need to make amends with. the first step to recovery is owning up to your mistakes right? please forgive me, things.

1. coffee

my mom once asked me how it was possible that two non-coffee drinkers (her and my dad) raised two coffee drinkers (Alanna and I). i'm not too sure what the answer to that question is (or any of her questions, really), but i do know that it wasn't always this way. in fact, for a long time i despised coffee. i thought it smelled really good, but otherwise had nothing going for it. i made it through my entire college experience without ever needing to rely on coffee. crazy, right? and sad really, because coffee is essentially heaven in a little freshly brewed cup. i don't know what changed my mind, but i'm glad i did. now i'm one of those people who doesn't function quite right when they don't have coffee. i didn't have any today and i had a headache all day and then came home from work and took a 2 1/2 hour nap. so really, coffee should be apologizing to me.

2. any of these songs

curse you, pop goddesses. but also, thank you for the workout jams. #sorrynotsorry

3. The Hunger Games trilogy

this is perhaps the most grievous of my faults. so many people told me to read these books and i totally blew them off. and judged them. and for good reason! the plot has all the makings of something you should totally pass on. this series takes place in post-apocalyptic United States (boring!), wherein the population has been completely decimated by war (depressing!) and the remaining population is divided into twelve Districts. the totalitarian Capitol has decreed that once a year, each District must sacrifice one boy and one girl, ages 12-18, from their ranks to participate in a fight to the death that is broadcast live on television (brutal and rude!) none of that ever sounded like my cup of tea, plus it was written for young adults (super lame!)

one day, i had nothing better to do than to watch the movie on Netflix. i'll admit that i zoned out towards the end, but it was enough to make me intrigued, so the next day i went out and bought the first book and i never looked back. nothing about this series is remotely young adult-ish. people get their limbs blown off. people get mauled to death by vicious beasts. i think someone gets decapitated. multiple people are drug addicts or alcoholics. someone is shot execution style in front of a crowd of people. someone literally has their skin melted off. a twelve year old is murdered during the Games. a camp full of children is bombed during an air raid. a hospital full of the wounded and dying is blown up. it's all very gruesome, but strangely addicting and i finished the series in less than a month. basically the point of the series is that humans suck. and i suck for not realizing the greatness of this series sooner. and i think we can all be a little bit sorry about that.

4. sushi

my family never ate fish when i was a child. so the concept of it being raw and rolled in seaweed was something that, up until February, was completely revolting to me. i had many friends who swore by sushi's deliciousness, but every time i was invited to spread my sushi wings with them, i declined. "oh you want to go get sushi for your birthday? i think my mom wants me to help her spray paint some entertainment center she bought from an old curandero on Craigslist." (true story, btw). in fact, my mom was probably the one to blame for this sushi aversion. she went to try it with my sister one time and afterwards couldn't stop proclaiming to any one who would listen that the texture was akin to those jellied straps you find in women's blouses to keep the shirt from slipping off the hanger. so i just never tried it. fish + shirt straps = no.

but one day i got a sudden craving for it. i have no idea where it came from, but i decided the time had come to finally try it. Alanna excitedly accepted me into the sushi brethren with open arms and took me to Sushi Zushi, the holy grail of sushi delights. there, my world was opened up. not all sushi is raw! not all sushi is wrapped in seaweed! not all sushi has fish! i ate it all with such aplomb that i really didn't want it again until recently. but whenever i have a craving, i don't deny it anymore. and i'm sorry for ever denying you, my sweet fish friend.

5. sorority style

you can't make this up. i just Googled a picture of those stupid shorts and one of the related searches was for "sorority".

anyways, try as i might, i just can't deny the comfort and ease of getting dressed in popular sorority fashions. wearing Nike shorts to places other than the gym? done it. leggings as pants? worn it. Sperry's? i have three pairs. rain boots? i have a pair, though it hardly ever rains here. a North Face? too poor to afford the real thing, but i bought a $20 fleece zip up from Old Navy that looks remarkably similar.

my apologies, comfort.

there are so many other things that i should apologize to for hating at first encounter. Bridezillas. pickles. Jennifer Lawrence. beer. the list goes on. conversely, there are many things that i have yet make amends with (Channing Tatum? Kristen Wiig? the gym?) and some that I probably never will (Mad Men. Boardwalk Empire. black olives. Ellie Goulding.) so suggest away, my friends, but beware. it could be awhile before i come around. but when i do, i'll seek you out for an apology.

except for you and your crappy internet, Time Warner. i'll never forget.

Sisterly Conversations on: The Many Faces of...Mrs. Carter

noreply@blogger.com (TheCLadies) — Sun, 30 Jun 2013 04:04:00 +0000

Me and V decided that I should blog about Beyonce's HBO documentary "Beyonce: Life is But a Dream" back in February. I spent a few months trying to pretend like I actually had a life and didn't write the blog entry, despite a monthly reminder from V who eventually just gave up after contemplating hurting me as I slept. Then today I was miraculously encouraged by my friend at her baby shower to get back on the blog train. Here is a picture of said friend:

I decided that if I could grant a mother-to-be one wish, this would be it: to do what I set out to do and blog about the many expressions of Beyonce (Mrs. Carter as she refers to herself on tour these days.) The follow are screen shots I have captured after viewing her documentary a second time in June. I entered into this second viewing with a fresh mind, ready to highlight for the world what makes Beyonce the greatest Illuminati Queen of our generation.

BEYONCE, PhD., ILLUMINATI CEO, MRS. CARTER, DIVA
A DAY IN THE LIFE:

Beyonce starts her morning off right, with a bowl of Wheaties, a stretch, and practice choreography to a "not-yet-released" single set to premier on Jay-Z's (her husband...duh) top secret album for Samsung phone users only. In this photo, Beyonce is questioning if she has ever in fact seen a Samsung phone.

Later that morning, Mrs. Carter hits the studio in order to record a lullaby for Baby Blue Ivy, whose currently in the womb enjoying mommy's sweet bravado at the time of this filming. Beyonce usually requests silence in the recording room as there are times she likes to include Baby Blue a chance to sing back-up vocals in utero...but never lead vocals. Never lead, Blue.

Next, Bey and Jiggaman spend a lazy afternoon watching highlights from their vacation off the coast of St. Lucia or some other tropical island paradise that Jay-Z had built specifically for his family...and his $25,000,0000,000,000 offshore account.

After the reminiscing, Beyonce recalls how much more manageable her hairstyle was on the trip to the HOVA getaway and straight up takes a scissors to her own hair. Damn, why can't I be her?

Of course, the hair looks ferociously perfect as Beyonce gives the stare and a hair flip to a minion, or service staff, or servant...whatever they are right, Bey??

Moving on to later that evening. Beyonce's shadow performs at a sold out arena tour where princes and princess from foreign lands, mythical creatures, Malia and Sasha Obama, Amanda Bynes, and other newly inducted members of the Illuminati watch from backstage.

As Beyonce heads home from her performance, many passersby are mesmerized, frightened, and quite possibly turned to pillars of salt upon glancing at her on the escalators at an airport. *-* (Like she didn't plan their demise)

But at the end of the night, when Beyonce is spooning (keep it G-rated) with Sean in their California king bed made of 10K gold satin, Beyonce knows she rules the world, her mane is fierce as hell, and she is looking more and more like her mama every day.

And as long as Lady Gaga channeling Danny Zuko and dressed like a greaser from the 50s is intrigued/turned on/frightened by her mere existence on this planet, well then Beyonce put in a good days work.

Oh the possibilities tomorrow (and the next HBO blockbuster) will hold...

Subliminal messaging? Where?

Sisterly Conversations on: Leo

noreply@blogger.com (TheCLadies) — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 05:31:00 +0000

behold, Leonardo DiCaprio, one of the best actors to never win an Oscar. if you don't agree with me when i say that THIS is the most gorgeous man on the planet then YOU....GET OUTTA HERE. but seriously, i've been in love with him since the Titanic days. he was my first celeb crush. some time ago, i got the brilliant idea of watching every single one of Leo's movies. and i mean all of them. after all, how can you say someone is your favorite without being able to properly critique them? behold, the power of the internet. Critters 3? watched it. The Man in the Iron Mask? laughed at it....i mean, watched it. Celebrity? kind of watched it. Body of Lies? took me about 3 weeks to finish it but...watched it.

after all was said and done, i have compiled my list of the top 7 best (i just couldn't make the necessary cuts to get down to an acceptable number!) and bottom 2 worst Leo films, which i now present to you here, in chronological order.

7. The Basketball Diaries
if i had to put these movies in order of greatness, this one would for sure be near the top. in
it, Leo stars as Jim, a (real life) teenage basketball star who, over a period of time, becomes a teenage-basketball-star-turned-heroin-addict who prostitutes himself for money and spends a lot of time hanging out with shady characters in drug dens. you know, the youj. based on the subject matter alone, this movie was super intense and Leo does a great job in two particular scenes. one is a cold turkey withdrawl scene, complete with lots of saliva and mucus. second, the scene below where Jim goes to his mom's apartment to beg her for money at the height of his addiction. definitely easy to tell that Leo was destined for greatness at the ripe old age of 21.

PS- his crying is how i sounded when i called my mom at 1 am the night before my biochemistry final. just in case you wanted to know.

6. Romeo+Juliet
come on. Leo+Claire Danes+Paul Rudd+one of the best movie soundtracks of all time+one of my favorite literary works from high school? of course this movie is on here. pffft.

also, if you need a synopsis of this one, you're probably a moron.

5. Marvin's Room
i definitely was not expecting to enjoy this movie as much as i did. here, Leo stars as Hank, Meryl Streep's oldest and troubled son, who starts off the movie by setting their house on fire, which ultimately lands him in a mental institution. Meryl springs him from the pen early, only to cart him off to her sister (Diane Keeton)'s house in Florida after they find out Di has a form of lukemia that can only be cured by finding a familial bone marrow donor. or something like that. who would've known that Meryl Streep, Leonardo DiCaprio and Diane Keeton would together create comedy gold?! hilarious and heartwarming. i found this as part of a $5 three-movie-Meryl-Streep collection at Target the other day and really contemplated buying it until i found out that the other two movies were Music of the Heart and some movie where her husband was named Esteban. O_o

no thanks, Mer.

4. Catch Me If You Can
probably the closest thing Leo will ever do to a comedy. or a romance. or a movie where he doesn't die in the end. so naturally, it's one of the best because it's different from everything else. it's light and fun and doesn't leave you feeling like humans are the worst species in the world at the end, which is also new and different. in CMIYC, Leo stars as Frank, a teenage con man who pretends to be a pilot, doctor and lawyer (sometimes all at once), and who is continually on the run from an FBI agent, played by Tom Hanks. Christopher Walken plays Frank's dad; Christopher Walken also scares the bejesus out of me. But who really cares about Christopher Walken when he's on screen next to this hottie? ;)

thought so.

3. The Departed
hands down my number one favorite, if we were putting these movies in order. The Departed tells the story of two young men who go undercover in the mob and the police department as moles for both the police department and the mob (respectively). Leo plays the good(ish) guy- the cop undercover in the mob, so we really get to see him struggle with the lie that he's living and the danger he faces if he's found out. Matt Damon plays the other dude and i spent most of the movie hoping he would get caught and generally wanting to punch him in the face. Also, Jack Nicholson plays the mob boss and i realize that, like Christopher Walken, Jack Nicholson also scares the bejesus out of me. i think it's the teeth.

also, getting hit with that toy looks legitimately painful. moving on...

2. Blood Diamond
Leo does a Rhodesian/Zimbabwean accent, almost perfectly (according to native South Africans). do you need anymore reason? ok, it also tells a pretty good story.

1. Revolutionary Road
i have no idea why i liked this movie as much as i did, but it stayed with me for a couple of days afterwards. maybe because it was depression station/the bleakest outlook on married life ever, maybe it was this scene or maybe it was the visuals/style of everyone in this beach scene. swoon.

unfortunately, amongst all of the other greats (Shutter Island, Gangs of New York, Django Unchained, TITANIC!!, What's Eating Gilbert Grape?) that didn't make the cut because then i would just look like an obsessed creepoid, there were more than a few clunkers and snooze-fests (The Beach, J. Edgar, The Man in the Iron Mask). however, two movies really took the cake and made me think: why, Leo? just....why? i now present: the top 2 worst. in order.

2. Don's Plum
i watched this movie all the way through, in all of its low budget, black and white glory and finally figured out what it was about towards the end: nothing. ab-so-freaking-loutely nothing. it was literally a cast of now famous people (Leo, Tobey Maguire, Kevin Connolly, and Jenny Lewis from Rilo Kiley) sitting around a booth at a diner talking about everything and nothing at the same time, if everything and nothing could be talked about vulgarly. i guess they agreed to star in it to help a friend with a project and when they all became famous, the producers tried to release it for money, except everyone filmed it under the premise that it would never see the light of day (and rightfully so...). so now you can only get it oversees. so it least it has some mystique behind it and you feel kind of like a felon watching it. actually it SHOULD be a felony to watch this. here's a clip if you want to see for yourself and waste 1:24 of your life that you will never, ever get back.

1. Total Eclipse
let me nutshell this movie for you: period piece, heinous hair pieces, underage gay loving, poetry, full frontal nudity, brattiness, spousal abuse of pregnant wives. want me to go on? boring, awkward (watching baby Leo make out with Professor Lupin from the Harry Potter movies!? no thank you...) and all around terrible. it ended with Leo's character dying alone in Africa with one leg and a pornstache. oops, spoiler alert. but seriously, i'm not making this stuff up. i couldn't find a clip or picture to do this movie any justice, so instead here's a clip of OneDirection singing "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler on The X-Factor. also, they are dressed as vampires. trust me, this is the better deal.

from Critters 3 to Django Unchained, i've finally seen them all. now, the question remains, when will Leo finally get his Oscar? and what will i do while i'm waiting for the movie that will give it to him to come out? actually that movie should have been Django, but alas. i suppose i could get a life. i could start watching the complete works of, say, Johnny Depp or Tom Cruise. that should last me until the year 2078. or i could just sit patiently waiting for The Great Gatsby to come out on May 10th.

yeah, i think that sounds like a great plan.

Sisterly Conversations on: Top 10 Things I Learned in College

noreply@blogger.com (TheCLadies) — Sat, 12 Jan 2013 05:31:00 +0000

unless you've been living under a rock for the past month, or you don't even really know me (which is probably more likely.....i'm looking at you, New Zealanders), you should know that i graduated from college on December 9th. or was it the 10th? whatever, the date is irrelevant. after 4.5 years in school, i finally did it! graduating in the fall is a very unique experience and i'd like to think that it was designed to wean people off of college. i mean, chances are, if you're graduating in December you've probably overstayed your welcome anyways and, like any good addiction, you need to taper off the college life.

what i mean is this: i had my last week of classes, which for some people would have probably been an emotional experience, but i was like "it's ok, i have graduation to look forward to!" then at graduation, i was like "it's ok, i still have finals!" then after finals i was like "okay, this stupid. i graduated like two weeks ago." i was so over school, i never shed a single tear! sure, i was sad but not in the way or to the extent i thought i would be. it was very effective and i applaud whoever thought of that idea.

anywho, i was driving in my car to The Flying Saucer the other night (as one tends to do when they are only marginally employed and a recent college grad) and this song came on my iPhone

for the record, i have no idea what's happening in that music video because i just typed in the name of the song and chose a video without watching it so....proceed with caution.

the song is "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)" and it's from the Romeo + Juliet soundtrack. if you don't feel like listening to all 7 minutes of it (though i highly recommend it), i'll just tell you that it's 7 minutes of Baz Lurhmann doling out his most sage wisdom, accompanied by a catchy beat and that little kid that sings at Claire and Leonardo's wedding. after listening to this song, i decided that i too would pass on my college-learned wisdom to the younger crowd.

so without further ado, here are the "Top 10 Things I Learned in College":

10. Don't go bowling with your neighbors.

upon arriving at school my freshman year, me and my roommate were eager to make friends with people in our dorm. before we knew what room we were given, we both hoped and prayed that it wouldn't be at the end of the hall, across from an electrical closet or something. well it was at the end of the hall. and it was across from a cleaning supply closet. so clearly, the year in the dorm was off to a terrific start. we decided to go bowling at the Union on one of the first nights we were there, and we invited our one and only set of (male) neighbors to join us. i mean, they had been propping the door open for days with a bulk sized package of Cheez-Wiz, so clearly they wanted to meet people. they came with us and when we got to the bowling alley, it was super crowded. our friend who tagged along saw someone she met at orientation already bowling on one of the lanes with his roommate, so they let us join in on their game. we asked our neighbors if they wanted to join in but they said "we'll watch". about halfway through the game, we turned to look for them and they were gone. they left us. three girls at a bowling alley, with some randos. gentlemen, those two were. needless to say we got back to the dorm afterwards and the Cheez-Wiz door stop had been put away, never to be seen again for the rest of the year.

ass.

9. Sorority fashions rarely work outside of the sorority house.

I use the term "fashion" loosely here. i really mean heinous pieces of clothing such as

embroidered PFG fishing shirts

Nike shorts

Chacos

...among many others (XXL t-shirts, cute tops you'd wear to the club paired with Nike shorts or workout tights, buns and ponytails specifically made to look messy, etc. etc.) i had a friend who was an orientation advisor and helped pass out t-shirts to incoming freshman. she said they actually ran out of larges and extra larges. this never happens.

i'll admit i own Nike shorts and have worn them to class on many lazy occasions, but most of the time i looked at myself in the mirror and was like "why don't i just put on pants?" it's a question as old as time, but one i asked often.

regardless, there are many sorority trends that us mere mortals should just not attempt. ever.

8. Don't drink the trashcan punch at a Finals Party.

i won't dignify this with an explanation. just don't do it.

7. It's possible to live off of Dine-In Dollars.

when you live in a residence hall at the University of Texas, $1200-1500 worth of Dine-In Dollars and $300-500 worth of Bevo Bucks are immediately bestowed upon you every August. i'm not 100% sure of the exact monetary breakdown, but it's something like that. Dine-In Dollars can only be used in university dining halls and Bevo Bucks can be used in the same dining halls or various businesses and restaurants around campus that participate in the program. this is all the money you get for food for 9 months, unless your parents have pity on you and deposit some money in your Dine-In Dollars account. however, my parents never needed to do that, because i am an EXPERT at dining on a budget. there are three keys to making this work:

1) all you can eat dining halls. CAUTION: you will eat a lot of pizza and salad. and chicken strips. and frozen yogurt. oh, and cereal.

2) Easy Mac.

3) peanut butter and jelly.

i once went to buy some food at the dining hall downstairs and the girl in front of me only had about $500 left on her account. it was October.

6. 90% of dorm sponsored activities are stupid.

first of all, if it's a mandatory wing meeting, it's not mandatory.

second of all, if it's a Super Bowl party in your dorm's basement TV room, they'll serve you chicken nuggets from McDonalds and pizza while everyone gets in a shouting match over whether the Steelers or the Cardinals are better. you'll also make googly eyes at the guy cleaning up afterwards, who will take no notice of you.

third of all, if it's a "How Well Do You Know Your Roommate" game show thing, it will be rigged by the presence of two roommates who are also identical twin brothers. you will lose.

all true stories.

5. Buy an external hard drive.

I got a MacBook as a high school graduation present in 2008. we had been through some rough times together. there was the time i spilled a cup of water on it while it was closed and the time that i missed the bathroom door hook to hang my backpack on and it fell to the ground with my laptop inside. but through all that, we managed to prevail. until the last week of class when it stabbed me in the back and chose to end its life nearly 5 years later on the night before my biggest test of the semester. i got a new computer and luckily they were able to recover all of my files and i lived, but i'll never forgive that Judas computer.

4. Anything free is usually worth it.

things I've gotten/attended/done for free while in college: Austin Museum Day (free admission to every Austin museum), a Gavin DeGraw concert, a Girl Talk concert, free all you can eat and drink cookies and coffee at finals, a free pair of underwear (though I didn't appreciate the crushing of my rib cage that i endured to get them), a live taping of Arcade Fire at ACL Live, multiple clothing items, yadda, yadda, yadda.

3. Don't ride the E-Bus to 6th Street on Halloween.

packed in like sardines, a bottle of mustard got a little to handsy with me. never again.

2. All math professors are terrifying. It's a requirement, I think.

luckily, i only had to take two math courses at UT: calculus and stats. both of my professors were terrifying. my calculus professor called out anyone who didn't remember basic pre-cal (read: everyone.) and generally made you feel like an idiot. she passed me on the sidewalk once when i was waiting for the bus and i immediately got a chill. this was 3 years after i had taken her class. she was just as glorifyingly terrifying as ever.

my stats professor was like Sue Sylvester's older, more terrifying, Southern sister. she yelled at you if you got up to go to the bathroom or if you didn't do your homework. or if you asked questions. or if you breathed. or if you were human.

she surprisingly did not care if you showed up 30 minutes late to a 50 minute class dressed up as Peter Pan on Halloween, however.

1. Asher Roth had the right idea.

he's a one-hit wonder right? his song "I Love College" is a really song where he raps about keg stands and playing beer pong, but at one point he says "I wanna go to college for the rest of my life," which when i think about it, actually sounds like a really great idea. i know, i know there comes a time when you have to grow up and move on and become a part of the real world, but i get why people take jobs on college campuses, especially young people. but i don't mean that it sounds like a good idea in the LITERAL sense.

it's hard to describe, but there was this.....feeling, i guess, that i got shortly after i moved into my dorm, before i ever attended my first class and all of that. i really can't describe it. i call it the "fall feeling" because it's something i felt on the first few days of school every semester since i started college. ironically, i found myself randomly getting that feeling more and more as my last days on campus started winding down. i think it's a feeling of wide-eyed optimism and anxiously waiting to find out where life takes you and what lies ahead. it's sort of giddy and exciting and comforting all wrapped into one. i probably sound like a moron trying to describe it, but if someone asked me how i wanted to feel for the rest of my life, that would be it. in fact, it's how i wish everyone could feel for the rest of their life. i think the world would be a much better place.

though it is definitely not an exhaustive list of all the things college has taught me, this list is now complete. i hope you have your own "Top However-Many-Things College Has Taught Me" list. if you don't, you should make one. it'll make you both happy and sad, all at the same time.

just trust me on that trashcan punch though.

Sisterly Conversations on: Taylor Swift's Musical Diatribes

noreply@blogger.com (TheCLadies) — Fri, 21 Dec 2012 23:53:00 +0000

well, it's the holidays again! and that means that I am back at my parents' house for a few weeks, soaking up all that Corpus Christi has to offer. which is really a shopping mall with a throat slasher on the loose and some really humid evenings. one thing I always enjoy about the trip from wherever I am to Corpus is the chance to listen to potentially 4 hours of uninterrupted music! weee! (I am only partly serious...it's really hard to listen to music for that long. after a while, everything sucks.) on this particular trip, I felt the urge to listen to Taylor Swift for 2 solid hours.

why Taylor, you may ask? well, mostly because she is probably the artist with the largest collection of music on my iPod, so I don't have to do much song flipping while driving, which is always dangerous. she's also my guiltiest of guilty pleasures. I got the idea to dedicate a whole blog post to her music after her video for "I Knew You Were Trouble" came out, but I didn't know what sort of direction I should take. best Taylor Swift videos? best Taylor Swift songs? best Taylor Swift duets? progression of Taylor Swift music videos/songs (frizzy haired country tunes, to famous people's cameos as love interests, to a sudden break with reality)? about halfway into my drive, I finally came up with the angle I was going to take: best Taylor Swift diatribes!

for those of you who have been living under a rock for the past, oh, 6 years or so, T-Swizz is infamous for writing songs that sound like they came directly out of her diary. sometimes corny, always heartfelt, T is never one to shy away from the hard hitting topics: her friend Abigail doing the nasty with a boy who ignores her afterwards, her ex cheating on her and then wanting her back, being 22....the list goes on. but I would like to now focus, recall and celebrate all of the times Taylor has written scathing odes to her famous exes. we will now begin.

Number 5

Song: "Forever & Always"

Famous Ex: Joe Jonas

Most scathing line: Was I out of line?/Did I say something way too honest?/That made you run and hide/Like a scared little boy

ahh Joe. the very first of Taylor's famous victims. the story goes that Joe called Taylor to break up with her in a phone call that lasted only a few seconds. that. is. low. Joe claims that "a phone call only lasts as long as the person on the other end wants it to last" but after he reportedly broke up with Demi Lovato in the same fashion (albeit, through his dad....douche), I tend to side with Team Taylor on this one. Taylor has confessed to Ellen Degeneres that this song is about Joe, and was a last minute addition to her breakout cd "Fearless". also, the fact that I know this much about people I'll never meet is sad, and means I need a life. stat. anyways, moving on. i enjoy this song and i enjoy working out to it and listening to it on a bad day, but it's probably the least specific and interesting of all of her breakup songs.

Number 4

Song: "All Too Well"

Famous Ex: Jake Gyllenhaal

Most scathing line: Hey you called me up again/Just to break me like a promise/So casually cruel/In the name of being honest/I'm a crumbled up piece of paper lying here/Cause I remember it/All too well

I'm really not entirely too sure why these two dated each other, but I can't blame her. I'm also not entirely too sure why she wrote this super intense song about a guy she dated for as long as it takes me to brush my teeth in the mornings, but obviously she was burned pretty bad. or maybe she wasn't and she just needed some fodder for songs on her new cd. either way, I'm kind of obsessed with this song and I enjoy thinking of Jakey Poo probably not giving a crap about it either way. or maybe he does? according to the song he still has her scarf from this photo:

just like the secrets behind Area 51, Big Foot and how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, the world may never know what happened with these two.

Number 3

Song: "Back To December"

Famous Ex: Taylor Lautner

Most scathing line: Maybe this is wishful thinking/Probably mindless dreaming/But if we loved again/I swear I'd love you right/I'd go back in time and change it but I can't/So if the chain is on your door/I understand

ok so this isn't actually scathing. in fact, it's a departure for the norm for Taylor and she actually accepts responsibility for once (and only for once...I promise) and apologizes to her ex-with-the-same-name, Taylor Lautner. poor T-Lautz. he fell into the female Taylor's trap, but emerged relatively unscathed. the female Taylor is probably pretty lucky that hot Taylor isn't a musical artist because I'm sure hot Taylor has a lot to say about his and female Taylor's failed relationship, if the lyrics of the song have any truth to them. also, this same name thing should've been a sign that this relationship was doomed. so confusing. moving on.

Number 2

Song: "I Knew You Were Trouble"

Famous Ex: John Mayer

Most scathing line: And the saddest fear/Comes creeping in/That you never loved me/Or her/Or anyone/Or anything

I don't actually know that this song is about John Mayer, but it probably is. if it's not, it should be. I wish I knew Taylor personally so that I could've told her that dating John Mayer was a terrible idea. this is the guy that called Jessica Simpson "sexual napalm" in a public interview. on the record. to be put in print. while I enjoy this song, thinking of John taking Tay to "places [she's] never been" kind of makes my lunch reflux into my esophagus.

Number 1

Song: "Dear John"

Famous Ex: John Mayer

Most scathing line: All the girls that you've run dry/Have tired lifeless eyes/Cause you've burned them out/But I took your matches before fire could catch me/So don't look now/I'm shining like fireworks/Over your sad, empty town

this is perhaps THE BEST example of a classic T-Swizz diatribe. the only song that directly names her ex-lover, she sings for almost 7 minutes about how he burned her. although, again, I don't particularly enjoy thinking about her probably engaging in some adult behavior with him when she was only 19 and he was like 67 (ok, 30), I do enjoy hearing her sing about the after effects. I also particularly enjoy how she spends a majority of the song talking about "the girl in the dress" who "cried the whole way home" and how she "should've known" it would end up like this. then, in the last lyric, she turns the tables and says "The girl in the dress wrote you a song. You should've known." touche Taylor. touche. and a word of warning to other famous men willing to date Taylor: godspeed.

well that's it! the top 5 best breakup diatribes from the incomparable Taylor Swift. while I usually stand up for Taylor when people put her down for dating so many guys (I mean how many people in this world casually date lots of men? no shame in your game girl!) and for her cutesy, sometimes juvenile lyrics (she has a formula that's made her a millionaire a million times over, so why change it now? business genius, i say.), I do realize there is a common denominator in all of these songs: Taylor. so if any of these lovely men would like to get together and write a song called "You're The Problem In All Of Your Failed Relationships", I will gladly dedicate an entire blog post to that song as well.

Sisterly Conversations on: Thanksgiving with the Cowboys

noreply@blogger.com (TheCLadies) — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 03:37:00 +0000

Family. Football. Jellied cranberry. Lots...and lots of cranberry.

This Thanksgiving we spent the afternoon with dad's side of the family in Kingsville. I know we're always in store for a good time when we head even farther south in Texas to spend time with the good ol' paternal familia.

The visit started off interesting with my disappointing attempt at being nurturing and motherly as my mom encouraged (forced) me to hold my cousin's baby who was a mere 9 days old. I mean, I immediately loved that little baby, but I loved her enough to want to protect her from the discomfort of being in trapped in my bony arms. The conversation quickly turned to my cousin telling me, "You better start practicing. Your time is running out!" Ehhhhhh...no. I've still got time. Plus..maybe I'll adopt. I'll adopt a baby who is already in their toddler years and is not as delicate as a frail bird. I held the baby for a few minutes, then passed her back to my mom who couldn't stop fawning over her the rest of the day. She deserved someone like my mom. I went to look for the bigger kids. And the food.

A couple of hours later (and a lot of sitting around watching football and making chit chat while we all secretly wished we were eating), it was time to eat. I thought I would try my hand at being motherly again and offered to help my grandma set up the food. "Here," she advised (I was sure she was going to give me a big task like getting the rolls out of the oven, stirring the gravy, something manageable but still important), "take this to the other room." She handed me a styrofoam plate with a cylinder of jellied cranberry balancing on it. Both my grandma and I agreed that we could eat the whole helping of cranberry out of the can if our lives depended on it...or if no one was watching. I walked the cranberry outside to the party room. Yes, party room. We'll come to that in a minute. The cranberry was like congealed liquid gold on a plate. It was wobbling all over the place...but I cradled it and kept it safe. Probably safer than I held that tiny baby. Once I got to the party room, it was then that I noticed that 3 other cans of cranberry had already been opened. Not sure what else we really ate at Thanksgiving, but one thing I am sure of is the fact that we had at least 4 lbs. of the 90 cent delicatessen.

The party room. That is a whole other story. It's like Tony Romo (or some other Dallas Cowboys player who is actually good) threw up in there. Cowboys posters covered the walls, tiny Dallas Cowboys helmets sat on random window sills and on any available counter space, and one of my personal favorites, a Dallas Cowboys flag declaring, "America's Team." I wonder what other American citizens would say about that. Like perhaps if we asked the New England PATRIOTS, who's colors are red, white, and blue. Think they think of Tony and the rest of his fumbling teammates as the football team of the U.S.? I think not. I was honestly afraid to watch the Cowboys vs. Redskins game in that party room. I mean, I had heard stories of my uncle being completely obsessed with the Cowboys (which I had inferred from the Dallas Cowboys matching bath and toilet rugs in the bathroom), but I didn't want to be present for a meltdown that would occur when the Cowboys inevitably failed. McKayla was impressed when an ACTUAL Dallas Cowboys team member showed up to join us for Thanksgiving lunch and to watch the game. At least...I think he was a team member. I knew he wasn't part of the family because I had never seen him before and he kept saying things like "We need to get it together," or "Our fans are very fickle." Using those possessive pronouns can really transform someone! As I was analyzing this phenomenon, I noticed my uncle pulling down the ladder to head up into the attic. 'Is there another level to this party? Please, take me with you!' He looked around for a little bit and came out with another pile of styrofoam food trays. Duh. Silly me! When in doubt and you need more kitchen supplies...just head up to the attic.

A small Thanksgiving miracle occurred during the Cowboys game when I heard my cousin ask (aloud), "What is a punt?" Yes! I was no longer the only one who didn't know anything about football. Just a few minutes before, I had asked V how the Cowboys could only have 3 points and she gave me the DS (Death Stare in case you forgot) as she explained how kicking only a field goal at the beginning of the game and not scoring any other points made this a possibility. It's always a good Thanksgiving when family members find different ways to poke fun of one another; especially when we are all together stuffing our faces while doing it. Needless to say, the Cowboys lost, we had our gluttonous fill of starched sides and deserts, and as we were saying our goodbyes before we left, I'm pretty sure I saw my uncle heading up into the second level of the party room to wallow in sorrow at the demise of Team 'Merica.

Sisterly Conversations on: #VPdebate2012

noreply@blogger.com (TheCLadies) — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 03:53:00 +0000

Ok, so the Sisters do more than gossip about coffee obsessions and hot Olympians. We decided to catch the wrap up of the Vice Presidential debate, mainly because everyone was talking about it on Facebook and we had already missed most of it due to a small shopping spree we went on in preparation for Austin City Limits (that's for a later post though).

Briefly, here is some of our highly political commentary on what we witnessed between Biden and Ryan:

On Ryan:

A:"Ryan would be cute, except for his widow's peak."
V:"He looks kind of like Phil Dunphy."
V:"Uhh..he looks so smug."

On Biden:

V: "What the heck is Joe Biden doing? He looks like a potato. Like a potato with eyes and mouth, right?"

On budget cuts, health care, and getting out of national debt:

A:"I don't care what politicians say. How the heck will the U.S. EVER get out of debt? Where will all the money come from? Are they planning on doing a nationwide fundraiser? "

V: "Ok everyone...we're doing a bake sale! Even though we'll be spending thousands and thousands of dollars for the cooking supplies."

A: "We've infiltrated the Girl Scouts. Buy cookies to cut back on the national debt!"

V: " $1,000.00 a box!"

A: "Thin mints anyone?"

Republican vs. Democrat, Samoas vs. Thin Mints...I hate making choices!!!

On the debate moderator, Martha Raddatz:

V: "Whoa. Crypt Keeper."

So, with all that being said...vote for whoever you want. Politics, debates, the future of these United States of America. It's all just a "bunch of malarky" anyways!!

"I throw my hands up in the air sometimes. Singin' hey-ohhh!"

Sisterly Conversations on: Fiending

noreply@blogger.com (TheCLadies) — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 02:38:00 +0000

ahhh yes. fall kinda, sorta officially started in September with the arrival of new fall television shows and the return of some old classics, but everybody knows that it's not officially fall until the pumpkin spice latte finally makes its much anticipated return to your local Starbucks. the rest of the country probably considers the start of fall to be the day when scarves become a necessity instead of a trendy accessory or the weekend that a cold front blows in and doesn't leave until march. but since this is texas, and both of those things last for about a day, we have one warm pumpkin-y beverage to look forward to to signal the start of the best season of all. and look forward to it we have.

i was recently at Starbucks for a study group when i decided to use my birthday gift card to order said latte. i approached the counter and asked if it was possible to make my pumpkin spice latte decaf. the barista replied "oh yeah, we can make anything decaf! but we don't have any pumpkin. and we won't have any until thursday." it was monday. what was everyone going to do!? the pumpkin wasn't going to arrive for THREE. MORE. DAYS. i suppose they could just get their pumpkin fix with some Starbucks Via pumpkin flavored coffee. or not. that rack was completely empty. no pumpkin anywhere. it didn't dawn on me until i read this article about the national pumpkin spice latte shortage that i realized what was really going on here. the entire nation is experiencing a phenomenon i call "fiending". until recently, fiending had only been happening on a much smaller scale.

coincidentally, i witnessed my first fiend at starbucks a while back. i was at the starbucks on campus (a college campus being a fiending mecca for various items) and the store was quite busy. i was patiently waiting for my drink at the counter because i had nowhere else to be. i was people watching (as one is prone to do in these situations) and i noticed a girl fixing up her coffee at the sugar and cream station. i watched her make up her drink, but when she went to reach for the cream, she found the container empty. i watched her as panic set in on her face. i watched her frantically look around, wondering what to do. i watched her spot the cream the baristas use behind the production counter. i watched her march up to the counter and reach over it. i watched as she grabbed the baristas' private cream stash and poured it in her own coffee like it was no big deal and then set it back behind the counter.

this was fiending in a nutshell. you see, it's basically when you are so frantic about something that you go to extreme lengths to get it and freak out when you don't have it, or are afraid that someone could take it from you at any moment.

my next encounter with fiending was late one night at HEB. i was on a grocery run and made a stop down the pasta aisle when i noticed a fellow college student eyeballing the Ramen (ummm....duh). i watched as he browsed around for the flavor he preferred. then, when he realized that they were out of individual packets and all that was left was an entire case still unopened and covered in saran wrap, i watched him load the entire case in to his cart and roll away. he was so fiendish for some Ramen that he didn't even bother to open the case and take out 2 or 3 packets. that's Ramen dedication right there.

recently a friend of mine told me about a really good sale that was going on at a liquor store. i'm a fan of wine, so off i went to browse their selection and see if i could snatch up any great deals. it turns out that i went 10 minutes before the store closed on the last day of their sale. it also turns out that all of northwest Austin heard about this sale too and were now at the same liquor store as me trying to take advantage of the sale's final moments. i watched in awe as people pushed other people out of the way with their shopping carts (yes, shopping carts........at a liquor store) and loaded them up with cases upon cases of beer, wine, Malibu, Smirnoff, whiskey as old as my dad, mixed nuts, bendy straws......literally whatever they could get their hands on. there was so much frenetic energy in there that i couldn't handle it and retreated to the refrigerated wine room for some peace and quiet. then the wine fiends (a particularly snobby bunch) followed me inside and i had to leave, empty handed. i'll stick with Arbor Mist, thanks.

lastly, i went to a PINK by Victoria's Secret tailgate giveaway at the Co-op with some of my friends today. i was thinking this was going to be something really special and maybe i'd get a free bra out of the deal, but it wasn't. and i didn't. we got there early and a small line had formed outside of the gate. the line eventually grew to hundreds of girls waiting to get in. the big moment finally came shortly after 11 and they let us in. the first stop was supposed to be a table full of bags stuffed with coupons. i don't know why the event organizers didn't realize that this had all the makings of a small scale riot. i mean...college girls, free bras, fighting for equal rights.....oh wait....

anyways, the organizers didn't put up any organizational barriers or ropes or anything, so everyone just kind of rushed the table to get to the bags. i ended up crushed between the table and about 100 other girls that i didn't know. i'm pretty sure at one point i was bent over the table at the waist, yelling at other people to get off of me. then security came and dispersed the crowd peacefully, which was good because i hear at other universities they use pepper spray. i could see the headlines now: "university students pepper sprayed after rioting over free panties" or "panty fiends get peppered" (there's a reason i'm not a journalism major).

so in short, i hope you have learned from my mistakes and are better equipped to recognized those who are fiending. i mostly wanted you to learn to stay away from fiends. far, far away. otherwise, you might just end up bent over a table. and nobody wants that.

Sisterly Conversations on: My Sad Life Outside of School/Work.

noreply@blogger.com (TheCLadies) — Sun, 30 Sep 2012 23:57:00 +0000

That Friday Night Lights...gets ya every time. Although, it is comforting to know that one of the actors from FNL is now one of the new interns on Grey's Anatomy. Strange how V recently told me that now she might start watching Grey's Anat because he is on it. It only took 7 years for me to convince her it is a show worth watching...bandwagon fan!

Gaius Charles "Friday Night Lights"

V.S.

Gaius Charles "Grey's Anatomy"

...If you ask me, he looks a bit more confident in his ability as a high school football star than a doctor.

Other than new actors making an appearance on Grey's, the season premiere was emotional, but expected. I think this season is gonna be pretty deep though! Which is what I like about Grey's: witty humor (usually provided by Drs. Yang and Torres), mixed with drama, passion, depression...everything that makes life worth living, right?! Every time a new season of Grey's starts, I am excited, but I also get a little paranoid that the show is one season closer to ending. Anyone who knows how in love I am with this show knows that I hold a special place in my heart for it. I've been watching this show since I was a senior in high school! I used to have a saying that the "Two G's" were the only consistent things in my life: God and Grey's Anatomy. Luckily one is omnipotent and works miracles, so maybe I can handle it if Grey's ever gets cancelled. Anyways, GREAT show as usual. A little cheesy, but that's what makes it worthwhile. Tune in on Thursdays at 9pm/8pm central, Thursdays on ABC for some real-life medical drama (oh come on all you doctors out there! Like you've never instructed a patient on how amputate their wife's leg under no anesthesia after they fell into a huge sinkhole that opened up in the middle of a city?! Pssh..rookies.)

Continuing on...

This past week was jam-packed with season premieres! Lucky for me, I was able to catch up on Friday night after it was raining so bad that I couldn't make it to the party I was trying to get to because my car started to make scary squealing noises and smoke while driving through flooded streets.

Elementary (10/9pm central, Thursdays, CBS), with bad-ass Charlie's Angel Lucy Liu and this dashing British man, Johnny Lee Miller (well, that doesn't sound British at all), was pretty intriguing. I have to say, I will more than likely keep watching. It is a modern spin on Sherlock Holmes, with Lucy Liu playing Sherlock's "sobriety companion", Watson, who accompanies him 24/7 as he is coming off his drug addiction. Heart-warming, I know. It's pretty similar to all those other mystery-solving shows, so if you're lacking one in your weekly line-up, I recommend adding this one in! Great soundtrack so far, featuring Lucy Liu doing her morning run to a song from one of V's fave bands (listen below). My only warning to you though is that at times it is a bit difficult to understand Sherlock's British accent, but he's a bloke worth looking at ;)

The Mindy Project (9/8pm central, Tuesdays, FOX) Pretty hilarious gal, that Mindy! I never really got into the Office when she was on it, but I have read excerpts from Mindy's autobiography and I knew I would enjoy this show. It's a 30 minute comedy, so you're pretty much guaranteed a few good belly-laughs, and you don't have to invest much time in it. I wouldn't expect any hard-hitting morals to the story or life lessons, though. Mindy has so much Girl Power in this show, which I like. Mindy and I are a lot alike, really! We're both just two young, funny women, trying to find the man of our dreams, kicking butt at being independent, always making people laugh (either with or at us, I haven't figured that one out yet), did I mention trying to find the man of our dreams? Guess we'll both just be hilarious workaholics until that happens!

"I'm a cute, fun Doctor-lady who works with two super hott Doctor-men!! Yeah!!"

And for the commentary I've been waiting to get to (and I'm sure you also may be looking forward to since it will be closer to the end of my T.V. show rant) REVENGE!! I decided I have to post about it before the season premiere tonight (9/8pm central, Sundays on ABC), so that way I could hook you in and make you so intrigued that you have to watch. I will try to keep it very short and sweet though, because not too many words need to be written to promote this show. I started watching it last season on a whim. I needed something different in my life. All I ever watched were comedies. It was time to get serious. Well, Revenge is seriously one of the best shows out there right now. It has drama, mystery, attractive actors, fighting, Girl Power scenes (there's me and that Girl Power again). Plus, it makes you thank your lucky stars that you aren't filthy rich and don't swim in your own wealth and greed inside a giant palace in the Hamptons...on second thought, I know a lot of people who would love that! But that's why I like to watch it. It's about Emily Thorne, totally interrupting that disgusting world and fighting for TRUTH! JUSTICE! and...the memory of her father who was wrongfully accused of mass murder, imprisoned, and then died in jail! Intense, right?!?! Watch tonight, and if you've never seen Revenge before, just check out this small clip from the Spring season finale. You'll be hooked.

MIND. BLOWN.

Alanna's other favorite shows that she didn't have time to talk about before the Revenge premiere started:

Modern Family (8/7pm central, Weds, ABC)

Up All Night (8:30/7:30 central, Thurs, NBC)

Watch these too!

Sisterly Conversations on: my love for Friday Night Lights

noreply@blogger.com (TheCLadies) — Sun, 30 Sep 2012 03:55:00 +0000

i had two possible topics that i was going to write about for this entry, but then i got some inspiration from the previous entry about fall television. now, i'm a pretty terrible judge of what is and isn't going to be good television while a show is in its infancy. one of the shows i'm currently keeping tabs on is The Mob Doctor on FOX. it's basically what it sounds like: a show about a female cardiologist/surgeon at a prestigious hospital in chicago who moonlights as a doctor for the mob in order to pay off her younger brother's debt. i know what you're probably thinking: "of course you're a terrible judge of tv shows! that show sounds bad based on the premise alone!" and it kind of is. but the only reason i'm watching it is because of the actor who plays dr. devlin's main squeeze, fellow doctor brett robinson: zach gilford. now you may know zach from ABC's short lived medical drama about doctors practicing in a clinic in the south american jungle, Off The Map (also cancelled. also watched by me........i told you i was bad), but you SHOULD instead know him as Matt Saracen, one of the main characters in NBC/DirectTv's cancelled-before-its-time drama "Friday Night Lights".

now i will admit: i did not watch friday night lights at all during its original five year run. it was only after it was cancelled that i decided to give it a shot. i had heard all good things about it and found season 1 on dvd at half price books for cheap. and let me tell you.........best investment i've ever made.

most FNL haters probably have avoided the show because "it's about football". and it is. but i am here to tell you that it is about so much more than that. it's about family and friendship and love and life in a way that is so authentic and totally believable. i mean, no one gets shot in a shooting rampage or gets their leg amputated or gets hit by a bus or has hallucinations involving their dead lover or gets in a car accident and spends the next episode having an out of body experience and singing to themselves about it (*cough cough* grey's anatomy *cough*). everything is so much more subtle and simpler than that.

a lot of the actors/actresses aren't really that mind-blowingly awesome in other stuff i've seen them in. i mean, no one is dying to hand Taylor Kitsch an Oscar for his role in Battleship, but when he sat in the Panthers' film room watching the hit that paralyzed his best friend over and over again and inevitably having a mini breakdown, i totally believed it. and i cried a little bit along with him.

i guess that's what impresses me so much about FNL: the number of times i've gotten choked up or shed actual tears while watching. sadly, it's a pretty underrated show so there aren't many youtube clips available, but i was able to find three that i'm pretty obsessed with and have decided to share them with you.

oh and surprise: they all star zach gilford.

coach taylor giving matt some tough love in season 2 after he gets drunk at a strip club and his grandma gets rushed to the emergency room while he's out shirking his responsibilities.

this is kind of spoiler-y so don't watch or keep reading if you don't want to know. this entire episode (season 4's "The Son") where matt's dad dies in Iraq had me pretty emotional the whole time. this final scene (the blood on the handle at the end!!), the one where matt breaks down at the dinner table and tells the taylor family "i hate him. i don't like hating people." and the scene where he breaks into the funeral home drunk and demands to see his father's body and his subsequent reaction were the highlights and probably the best pieces of television i've ever seen. those can be seen here, set to one of my favorite pieces of music.

anyways, there's a lot more i wish i could say about FNL, and so many more incredible moments involving all the characters, but it's hard to put the greatness into words. instead, i'll just let this video do the talking for me.

also, i wish tami taylor was my second mom.

Sisterly Conversations on: My Week with Chandler & Brit Brit

noreply@blogger.com (TheCLadies) — Sun, 16 Sep 2012 02:39:00 +0000

It's the most wonderful time of the year!!! No, not that most wonderful time. I'm referring to the other wonderful time of the year...the Fall return of all my favorite T.V. shows! Now, I've purged my DVR of all our old summer Olympics recordings, although it will be a bummer not to re-watch Tom Daley and his fantastic... dives (that really is what I was going to say)....You can check out our earlier Olympics posts for more on that.

SO...the DVR is cleared and ready to let the Fall T.V. shows take over! After each week of the start of all my favorite shows, as well as some shows that I will be checking out for the first time, I will let you all know what I think. Which stars are trying to make it big again? Are some of these shows worth watching or not? (See last season's disaster show "Whitney" if you want to know about a show that was NOT worth watching. *Cough cough* annoying *cough*).

This week consisted of two of my favorite things: therapy and BRITNEY SPEARS.

NBC's Go On (Tuesdays at 9/8 PM) stars the always hilarious and sarcastic (me? a fan of sarcasm?) Matthew Perry. Now my friend, Cristina, also known as Xtina to those of you who know and love her, recently got me to sit down with her and watch at least 8ish episodes of Friends from the very beginning. In the past, I was never able to get into the show. But, I am telling you, that Chandler Bing is HILARIOUS. Ok, I know I am stating a fact that everyone has probably been aware of since the 90s, but his undeniable wit is sooo attractive and has allowed me to look past his vests and parachute pants from his Friends years.

Needless to say, so far so good with Go On, as he seems to be carrying on the sarcasm, biting jokes, and dark humor. The show has some good substance and lessons to it: Matthew Perry plays Ryan King, a sportscaster who recently lost his wife when she died in a car accident due to texting and driving (a nicely planted PSA from the celeb: DO NOT TEXT AND DRIVE... In order to return to work, Ryan must attend 10, yes 10, sessions of grief group therapy. That is a lot of sessions in the therapy world...unless you're a Freudian. Then 10 sessions is pretty much the Cliff's Notes version of therapy (sorry, psychology nerd coming out). Ryan thinks he's too cool for school and just wants to breeze through the sessions and not participate, get to know anyone, or let out any of his emotions surrounding his wife's death. He comes to the sessions and tries to shake things up, much to the dismay of the therapy group leader (who, by the way, isn't even a licensed professional! Ethical dilemma...Yow-za!). Anyways, there are many hilarious, yet touching moments in the first two episodes. This show portrays the main character as having a tough shell, covering up his pain with humor, but in reality he cares about getting to know and helping his fellow group members. It's funny but quite touching...I even got a little choked up at a couple parts and I. Never. Cry. Check out this short clip from one of my favorite scenes so far! Like, I said, Ryan comes in trying to shake things up and because of his contradictory approach to do something different in group therapy and judge who has the most depressing story (kind of an actual therapy technique in real life) the group members love him!

I'm excited about "scary" Anne...because she is scary. And funny.

Now, prepare yourselves...prepare yourselves to witness an obsession. When I was in middle school, I recorded the 2000 MTV Video Music Awards, on VHS, so that I could watch Britney Spears' rocked out rendition of Oops! I Did it Again. Oh, and watch it I did - over, and over, and OVER. I have never been very well coordinated when it comes to choreography, but I was determined to learn this dance. After I figured out that I would never be able to do it because the camera cut away during key steps of the routine and it was too difficult to rewind and pause the video tape, I then became determined to get abs like Britney Spears. See below video for life inspiration:

Needless to say, 10+ years later I am still working on getting that six pack, but hey, I may actually have a better body than Britney does now (post birthing 2 children and having a psychotic break). Who cares...she is still a goddess. But this time, in the first two episodes of the X Factor, I want to be Britney's best friend not because of her body and killer dancing abilities, but because she is a badass who doesn't take nothin' from no one! You see, V and I have this look that we give people when we are annoyed or not amused that we like to call "The Straight Face." It comes from this commonly used emoticon :| or another form of "The Straight Face" emoticon -_- . Of course, the nation has also adopted another popular version of "The Straight Face" from another one of my heroes, McKayla Maroney:

Really McKayla's is more of a pucker, but either way not impressed/unamused.

Throughout the X Factor, Britney gives her facial rendition of complete and utter lack of amusement and disgust through what will now be called the "Britney Face" (take note, V). Britney makes this face when she pretty much wants a contestant to get their sorry self off her stage (no, not the X Factor Stage, her stage). She even gave the "Britney Face" to a male contestant who helped her sing a duet on her very first album! Cold as ice that Britney. Britney likes to change it up a little with her signature face, so take your pick of how you would like for her to look at you if she ever heard you sing. Hey, at least she would be acknowledging your presence on this Earth. What more could a person want!?

Britney: Not Impressed.

Britney: Not Impressed mixed with confused (see, I told you she likes to change it up!)

I will always and forever be a fan of Brit, even when she makes some of the biggest screw-ups of all time. And what is even better, I am becoming more and more of a Demi Lovato fan. Now, as if you haven't already judged me enough for obsessing over Britney Spears, you can continue to judge me harder for loving little Demi. She, like Britney, has also made some mistakes in her short, Disney-star turned wild-child life. Perhaps it's the therapist in me having a heart for the likes of Britney and Demi. Demi's got it all, eating disorder, rehab and hospital stay, plus she was bullied a lot when she was young(er). What I saw on the X Factor was that Britney and Demi have emotions. Britney seemed genuinely upset after her former duet partner shared about his struggle in coming out, and Demi broke into tears and later hugged a contestant when she talked about being bullied herself and sang quite an emotional version of "Who You Are."...Man, I would LOVE to do a group session with Britz and Demz (maybe I could write them and we could create our own version of Go On...I'll keep you posted.)

Stay tuned for reviews of next week's shows: NBC's Revolution (Mon. 10/9pm) & Up All Night (Thurs.8:30/7:30pm) !

Sisterly Conversations on: The Secret Language

noreply@blogger.com (TheCLadies) — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 04:02:00 +0000

Hello out there! I know it's been a while since I've blogged. I've been out living life (aka: going to school and work) and have also been stuck in a mild depression after that last blog entry. Jeez, Alanna, way to be inspiring and also really, really depressing at the same time. I'd have to agree with most of the sentiments of that last entry. I don't want this to turn into a deep and depressing rumination on life, so we'll just leave it at that. I will admit that I, too, do some of my pondering of life's darkest mysteries in the car. Or the shower. In those moments as I'm silently cursing my creepy neighbor because he used up all of the hot water, and I'm left with a pissy little stream trickling out of the shower head, I think about what I would say to people if I had the chance to relive certain situations. I think about what my life would be like if I did some things differently. But mostly I ponder what my life would be like if it was a movie. Shut up, you do it too. I've decided that my final scene would end with me totally content with life, driving off into the sunset on a nice, breezy fall day. This is the that song would play me out as I drive off and the credits roll.

Clearly, I've done a lot of shower time.

Anyways, moving on to the subject of this blog entry. I was listening to Pandora a little while ago and I thought "Hey! It's a Thursday. I like to be a little crazy. I'm going to make a Miley Cyrus Pandora station." Come on. Don't judge. You know you like the anticipation and anxiety that comes along with hoping the song that comes on next is Party in the USA. And there's a good chance that it will be. Because MyCy Pandora plays. a. lot. of. Miley. Cyrus.

I mean who knew she had that much music?! Not me. Otherwise I would've never made the damn thing. Anyways, at one point, one of the songs that came on was "Should've Said No" by Taylor Swift.

Now, this song holds a special place in mine and Alanna's heart. We often like to make up words to songs or sing them in strange voices (her rendition of "Boyfriend" by the Biebs in a country accent is particularly fetching). On one such occasion, Alanna came up with some alternative lyrics to "Should've Said No." In this particular version, Taylor's man-friend said yes (which....isn't that the point of the song? He DID say yes......). Anyways, her alternative version was "should've said yes, then....." and because nothing rhymes with "yes" the word "sexed" seemed apropos. So, I was going to write on her wall "should've said yes, then.......sexed" but then I realized that without some background story, people were going to read it and think we were freaks.

Which is when I realized: WE ARE. We have this weird little language that I'm pretty sure I'll regret decoding for you, but which I am going to do anyways, below:

"i'm scared (seth cohen voice)": used to tell the other person that you are, in fact, frightened. the (seth cohen voice) denotation could be added if you were texting the other person. otherwise, it's just said in the seth cohen voice. example:

me: the lights just went out at my apartment complex. i'm scared.

source material: only the greatest show ever. i'm actually really devastated because i can't find the video on the youtube uploader to embed it, but just click on the link below and fast forward to 1:05. or watch all 4 seasons of The OC and maybe it will pop up somewhere. i won't tell you which episode. either way, you won't be sorry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIALKOiJuDs

"(insert verb here) on the Barry Gibb Talk Show": this one is relatively new to the language. it's basically an alternative way to say you're doing whatever the verb is. example:

1. alanna: i'm at a bar and i'm flirting it up on the Barry Gibb Talk Show with Johnny Johnson.

2. me: i'm going out to party it up on the Barry Gibb Talk Show with my work friends!

source material: i mean really? you don't know this already? shameful. well here it is if you've been living under a rock, or have bad taste in humor and have never seen it before.

"hiliary clinton/hilz clinton/hiliary": used in place of the word "funny". example:

1. me: you should read my newest entry in the Sister Blog!

alanna: it's hiliary?

2. alanna: The Hangover was Hilz Clinton!

source material: alanna and i went to what can only be described as a pep rally in Robstown when Hillary Clinton was running for president and some lady, in true Corpus fashion, had a sign that said something about Texans for "Hiliary". Yes, Hiliary. needless to say, it sounds like "hilarious". because it is.

oh here's a photo of me and my friend Jordan from that day for good measure.

"rude boy/calling you rude boy/rutabaga/rudyard kipling": all various euphemisms for the word "rude". example:

1. me: i finished watching The Bodyguard without you.

alanna: rude boy!!

2. alanna: i'm going to Harry Potter world.

me: rutabaga bush!

source material: i don't know. anything that has the word rude in it? any word that looks like it could have the word rude in it?

"like such as the Iraq": perhaps the most difficult to define, much like the video from whence it came. usually used to cut someone off before they can start listing things. example:

alanna: when are you coming to visit me?

me: i don't know. i have a lot to do this weekend, like....

alanna: like such as the Iraq?

source material: it needs no explanation.

anyways, there are many more complexities to the sister language that I don't feel like explaining. it's probably for the best. i mean i doubt we have any friends left after they read this. hey, but we have each other right?! and you....if you think you can master the language.

Sisterly Conversations on: The Mushy Gushy Stuff

noreply@blogger.com (TheCLadies) — Wed, 22 Aug 2012 01:52:00 +0000

So, in the last few (ok all) posts in the Sister Blog, things have been humorous, sarcastic, and fun! Just like the Sisters you know and love. But in my time spent traveling the long, lonely roads to visit family and friends this summer, or even just to grab some groceries at the HEB (a.k.a. H-O-E, hell on earth), I have done some really deep thinking. I usually tell my Lil Sis, V, everything, from boy drama, to work drama, to our occasional analysis of Lifetime movies. But sometimes, when I am alone in my car, listening to my Ipod, I think of some pretty serious stuff. So I thought it would be a good idea to share some of these thoughts with my sis (and anyone else who cares to read them). However, the only way you can continue to read on and hopefully get a sense of what I am feeling when I am deep in thought is to play the below song, one that inspires my best thinking, from M83. First of all, this band (one guy or more, I'm not sure) is A-MAZING. Second of all, this song was on the MTV Britney Spears documentary, therefore it can make anything anybody says or thinks seem profound and existential. Please, press play, and read on:

I think about how far I have come since leaving my hometown and going to grad school. I think of the people I have met and the people I have separated from, but who still support me, and the people I have left for good. It weirds me out to think how I have had some type of relationship with everyone I have encountered in my life. In one time span, they may have been the most important thing to me, and now I don't even know what kinds of things they like to talk about or do anymore.

I think about the places I have been and the things I have done in the past few years. When I am able to get out of my daily routine of work and school, I can't even believe that life exists outside of these things! Today when I was driving home from dinner, I saw what I assume to be a Somali woman (due to the neighborhood) walking down the median of a busy intersection carrying her groceries in a bag...balancing on top of her head!!! I mean, come on! You never see that...unless you are watching the Discovery Channel or some M.I.A. or Michael Jackson political music video. It just made me think about how much bigger this world is than what we each have going on in our own little sector of the city. I feel like wherever I go, the things I do and the people I am with can make it the most important place for me to be. Then I think about how everyone probably feels this way. So doesn't it make sense that everything going on in the world is important and meaningful?

I think about the future of course. Look how far I have come in just a few years, I tell myself. I have met people I can't picture living life without, I have explored new things and developed new interests that seem to make my life so much more enriched than it ever has been. I wonder what more will change in 4 or 5 years from now, when I am done with school. What will my boyfriend/husband/children look like? I'm praying to have at least one of those. If not, I hope I am having a lot of fun, with a lot of close friends (preferably not friends in the convent) !

I think about God. A LOT. My relationship with Him is so strange...like a roller coaster really. But not a crazy one that makes you feel sick at the end. More of a calm roller coaster that goes at a pretty good speed, but has a few twists and turns in there to keep life interesting. But I think I like this type of relationship with God the most. Of course, I usually wish it were easier and that I had all the right answers, knew what was going to happen next, and could make others see God and change their lives. But that never feels right to me. What feels right is being real with people. Just knowing them, doing what they like to do, and appreciating them for who they are. So, if you've been by my side throughout my spiritual ups and downs, thank you. I also apologize to you if I ever made you feel bad about not being closer to God. You know God in your own way and a relationship and experiences with Him are more real than what any person could ever tell you to do.

What I think about most these days, when no one is with me and my brain has time to slow down and be quiet, is of a wonderful friend I had. Her name is Lucy. If you know me, you already know how big of an impact this woman has had on my life, and how much I still think of her today and model many aspects of my life around things she taught me. I have written a lot about Lucy: memories, tributes, advice she used to give me. Also, if you know me, you are probably used to me writing so much about her and you probably think you already know what I will say! But I am probably going to say something you have yet to hear from me: death sucks. It is the most unfair, confusing, and harsh experience those of us who are still living will ever go through. I can't figure out why, I can't have that person back. Despite all the memories I have, I can't relive them. Each time I try to remember Lucy's voice or laugh, it gets a little harder, and it scares me. I can think of all the things I would have, should have done or said, but none of it seems right. The one good thing about death is that it gives you hope and passion for life. Since Lucy's death, I have done more and more everyday to push myself. Not only have I pushed myself more physically and intellectually like Lucy used to influence me to do, but I push myself spiritually the most. I have never felt so close to God as I did right after losing Lucy. I literally felt like I was in His arms and they were both comforting me and doing amazing things in my life for months after she was gone. That is a feeling that cannot be topped by much.

Relationships, God, death; all the main points of this post, and all the most profound experiences we have as humans. I think that Lucy, and probably anyone else who has every passed away, was probably terrified at first. But I believe there comes a beautiful moment, one that I know my friend experienced, where all three of those things come together and life on earth and life in Heaven connect and make sense.

This post isn't meant to motivate anyone to do anything, to give advice, to make people happy, sad, mad, etc. It's just meant to make you think like I think (and to take off some of the burden from my sis to not have to be the only one hearing stuff like this!) And to allow you to take a step back and evaluate what makes life beautiful and worth it to you.

Love,

Alanna

Sisterly Conversations on: Hotties of the Games

noreply@blogger.com (TheCLadies) — Mon, 13 Aug 2012 01:13:00 +0000

Good day Olympi-fans! As you all know, today marks the unfortunate end of the 30th Olympiad, otherwise known as the Summer Olympics of 2012, otherwise known as the thing that has been literally sucking up my time for the past 2 weeks. I don't know what I will do now that they are over, but they have left many special moments to reflect back on.

There were many olympic highs and lows for me. Most of the lows involved me sitting on my couch after a long day at work, quietly shedding tears into a Lean Cuisine while watching Michael Phelps on the medal stand for the last time, Missy Franklin reuniting with her adorable parents after she won gold for the first time (thanks for the spoiler, Today Show commercial), Aly Raisman clinching gold for the women's gymnastics team, Lolo Jones' devastation at not medaling in the hurdles, OneDirection (who Al Michaels affectionately calls "One-D") performing in Olympic Stadium on the back of an 18-wheeler flatbed trailer, commercials like this:

and generally crying anytime other people cried/showed emotion. Seriously, this was me every night:

(Gus is a "sympathetic crier" and I sympathize with that)

Despite the many emotional lows I (along with everyone else in the world) experienced, there were also many emotional highs. Many of them were mentioned in the previous post about the faces of the games. Well, not that mummy guy. I mean seriously dude, these are the OLYMPIC games, not the HUNGER games. I think you can afford an eye patch. Or at least a clean bandage. However, some of the highest of the highs came from watching what I refer to as........

THE HOTTIES OF THE GAMES!

I mean come on....did you think I would forget? Or that I wouldn't include pictures? I'll let these speak for themselves. You're welcome.

Andy Roddick, American tennis player

Cameron Van Der Bergh, South African swimmer (although less attractive now that he admitted to cheating during his gold medal race in the 100m breast stroke).

Chad Le Clos, South African swimmer (his dad provided me with another emotional low after he openly wept on camera after Chad beat Michael Phelps in the 200m fly)

Cristian Savani, Italian indoor volleyball player

David Beckham, all around British hottie and Olympic torch bearer

David McKienzie, American indoor volleyball player

James Magnusson, Australian swimmer

Louis Smith, British gymnast

Marcel Nguyen, German gymnast

Mitchell Watt, Australian long jumper

Nathan Adrian, future lover. I mean what? Oh...American swimmer.

Oscar Pistorius, the wonderboy South African runner who is a double amputee! And certified hottie.

Phillip Boy, German gymnast

Ricky Berens, American swimmer (and former Longhorn!!!!)

Ryan Lochte, American swimmer/I imagine America's #1 douche lord

Tom Daley, British diver (yes, he is 18. I checked)

Well fellow Olympi-fans! That's all! The olympics are over, but the hotties remain and can luckily be seen year round. Apparently they compete in other things throughout the year. Who knew? But consider me the world's biggest diving, gymnastics, swimming and track fan because of it! What's that you say? You want me to close out this blog with more photos of Nathan Adrian? I'd be happy to oblige.

Whatcha doin' to Natalie Coughlin there, Natey? HANDS OFF.

Sisterly Conversations on: Olympic Photos from a Smartphone

noreply@blogger.com (TheCLadies) — Sun, 12 Aug 2012 04:49:00 +0000

2012 Summer Olympics. What can you say really??? The past two weeks have been a series of sporting events that have been in a class of their own. If you've been living under a rock, specifically one that does not receive Wi-Fi or cable television access, you haven't seen the Fab Five U.S. Women's gymnastics team win gold, or witnessed Michael Phelp's "last race" (even though the Sisters are pretty sure he will be pulling a Brett Favre and will come out of retirement for the 2016 Olympics), or learned to love and hate Usain Bolt at the same time for his mix of cockiness and humility (is that possible?) each time he sets a world record. I also feel bad for you living under that rock because it's probably pretty uncomfortable...and dark.

...This Olympiad is different. We can relive the moments through YouTube and NBC.com. There's DVR to slow down and freeze epic moments, such as Tom Daley in his post-dive cool down in the shower (just as a completely random example). NBC really has a way of capturing the U.S. population's attention. The combination of seeing 18-20-something-year-olds winning their first Olympic medals after decades of practice, photo and video montages set to inspirational music by American Idol one hit wonders, and Proctor and Gamble commercial dedications to moms of Olympians have touched many of us. If you had been one of the patrons at the wine bar I was at the night David Boudia ran into the stands to hug his mom after winning gold in diving, you probably would have been concerned about my teary-eyed reaction (I only had one glass)!

So to catch you up on many priceless Olympic moments, here are some freeze-frame shots of the "Faces of the Olympians." Six months from now, after all the tourists and crazy fans have left London and Mustafina and all those other cry baby Russian gymnasts are being punished in their homelands for failing to win gold, these pictures will be worth all the memories!

Yes, you're a stud, and yes you are excited to be winning...but you shirt says BRA, dude.

Get down with your bad self! This Kenyan runner seems to be celebrating by getting his Stanky Leg on.

Whoa! Rachel Dratch, when did you start playing volleyball for Brazil?!

If I was his opponent, I'd forfeit. YOU WIN, Mummy Man. Just...stay away.

Recipe for making Alanna cry: put an Olympic runner on the stand to be awarded a gold medal after he won his race as a tribute to his grandmother who passed away during last Olympics. Gets me every time. Good job, Mr. Sanchez!

Mick Jagger? Umm...what?

Ahhh, such a classic juxtaposition: triumph vs. defeat, pride vs. sorrow, poise vs. poor-sport/get over yourself/you can't be the best at everything even if NBC says you are

Sanya! One classy lady. Bet you didn't know you had a fan club. As of right now there are only 2 members. Can we be your best friends?

And of course, the people you can never forget: Aly Raisman's parents. Man this must have been what my mom looked like during all my Spelling Bee & Choir competitions. Yep, I kept her on the edge of her seat of the same emotional roller-coaster that threw Mr. & Mrs. Raisman for loops each time their daughter landed a double back tuck back hand spring!

Well Olympifans, 2012 has been a summer to remember. So everyone have fun joining your local gym to use the swimming pool to improve your breast-stroke and reducing the time of your 15-minute mile, only to realize that you would probably feel a lot better if you just spent your time Googling pictures of Nathan Adrian or Alex Morgan.

Signing off from London, Cheerio mates!!

-Alanna

Sisterly Conversations on: Olympic Sexual Innuendos

noreply@blogger.com (TheCLadies) — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 23:16:00 +0000

"She has three snatches, and they all look really good."

Good day, fellow Olympi-fans!! We are back at you live from London 2012! Really though, we're in Alanna's living room. Pity.

Today I will be discussing the inadvertent sexual innuendos that commentators often come up with in the heat of competition. The quote that begins this post is one of them, coming from some men doing commentary for women's weightlifting: a truly majestic and delicate sport. I'm not too sure what a snatch is in terms of weightlifting (or really why we are even watching weightlifting, other than the fact that we. are. dedicated.) but the remarks about her three snatches were my inspiration for this blog.

As you can imagine, many sexual refs come into play in the sport of volleyball. For example, there were many gems tossed out during the US women's match against South Korea. I almost said North Korea, but I've heard they get really angry if you mix them up. Or is that North Korea that gets mad for being confused for South Korea? Whatever. At one point, the rather attractive announcer let the whole world know that "Kim got stuffed".

........nice.

Of course there were various references to hitting, killing and spiking balls, all which sounded equal parts painful and hilarious.

Perhaps my favorite came in the women's breaststroke where Rowdy Gaines (the only person whose name I can remember....because it's Rowdy) commented on how good the female swimmer's breast looked. Of course, he was talking about her stroke (I hope) but he should take the time to add the word "stroke" afterwards next time, just to be on the safe side. Unless he really was talking about her boob. I mean, I don't know what he likes.

That's all for now, lads and lassies! I'll leave you with the diving Brit that just appeared on my television screen.

Ohh Tom Daley. So glad you're 18.

Sisterly Conversations on: The XXX Olympiad!

noreply@blogger.com (TheCLadies) — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 05:21:00 +0000

Hello Sister Blog fans! It's been a while...and we are live from London 2012! OK, we aren't really there, but they should have let us go. We've really started to embrace the culture: using British accents, watching Harry Potter in between commercials, and driving on the wrong side of the road (that didn't work out well). Day 2 of the Olymps and the Sisters have become quite the commentators. So far, we have recorded and watched approximately 20 + hours of Olympic coverage. We've seen everything from Her Majesty parachuting with Daniel Craig, Mr. Bean playing the piano, Croatian basketball players (is that an oxymoron?), and of course our favorite so far, the U.S. Swim Team performing "Call Me Maybe."

Move over Bob Costas, we'll tell you all about our faves/key players to watch so far:

A special swimmer has really caught our fancy. You may think we are referring to Michael Phelps - the man, the legend, the Subway avocado spokesperson. Really it's all about the Lochte though. Ryan Lochte that is. I mean, what is there to say, really? He's good at propelling his body through the water...umm, he can hold his breath pretty good...and of course he has lots of other aquatic talents. But there is something else about this supreme Olypian that really impresses us. We aren't really sure what it could be. What do you think?

Heyyy-oooo...

We have also become comfortable with having girl crushes on Olympians. It is completely normal and healthy (12 out of 13 psychologists approve). Take me (Alanna) for example. I've developed quite an admiration for Natalie Coughlin. I'm convinced that if I had been an Olympian/swimmer/athlete of any kind, I would be like Natalie: she is classy, sophisticated (wears pearls when she swims !! ), and choreographed the above referenced CMM (Call Me Maybe - thanks for the abbreviation Sarah Pace!) video. *Sigh* My Hero!!

Who's a bad-ass?...THIS girl!

V has also has a girl crush/slight obsession with her old pal from UT, Destinee Hooker (yes, that is the name her mother so graciously gave her). She says she hopes that Destinee Hooker and Kevin Durant, another UT athlete/Olympian (in case you've never heard of him) get married and have ridiculously tall, attractive, superhuman Olympic babies. What I think is that she will be jealous and really wants D. Hooks to be her BFF for life.

Real conversation/commentating between the Sisters during the Olympics Women's Indoor Volleyball game:

Alanna: There's D.Hooks! You were friends at UT?

V: Yep, I stood in line next to her in the cafeteria. I was like [looks 5 feet above her in awe as if trying to see Destinee's face].

We've also been using new "Phrases of Destinee" while watching volleyball:

"You can't escape Destinee."

"Destinee is in control!"

"Don't fast forward! You can't rush Destinee!"

What V looked like standing next to Destinee in the UT sandwich line.

That's all for now, our fellow Olympi-fans! Check in with the Sisters later in the games for more of our opinions on sports, muscular physique, and tea and crumpets!

Too-da-loo, mates!

We. Love. You.

Sisterly Conversations on: Questioning my own sanity...again

noreply@blogger.com (TheCLadies) — Wed, 27 Jun 2012 01:25:00 +0000

V, I see your awkward apartment times and raise them by 5! Top 5 Awkward Apartment moments (when no one is watching). I am sure those of you who know me and have spent time in my fine little abode have your own list of curious things that have happened. And I am sure they are funny and embarrassing, probably most embarrassing for me. But, hey, what else is new? Am I right?! But sometimes the weirdest things happen when no one is there to witness, and that's when I have no choice but to laugh as I imagine what I look like while these things are happening to me. Who knows I could be making these stories up, but after reading the following list, I think you will want to believe they are true.

So with that being said...here are my TOP 5 AWKWARD MOMENTS at my apartment(when no one is watching):

5) Hearing my newlywed neighbors screaming next door, unable to tell if they were fighting, playing, or doing something else that involves screaming. So I, being a good neighbor friend, stood listening at the wall through a glass held up to my ear, waiting for signs of danger. I feel like they could tell I was there and thought I was weird. I mean, they would never answer when I came over to borrow an egg...

4) My very first (and only thanks to the ridicule of Kevin and CJ) Halloween party. CJ thought it would be "cool" to dress up as this character from Space Jam...

....You're right...I don't know what to say either. But the point is that CJ is not normally this color, so he got the idea to paint his entire body purple. Thus, for years (yes, years) afterward, I was finding purple smudges ALL OVER my apartment: on the walls, on the refrigerator door handle, in the refrigerator (who knows it was a crazy night).

3) Then there is the time I watched my old Vietnam Vet neighbor walk his tiny white dog while I was watering my plants on the patio. He is usually not wearing a shirt (definitely not T. Lautz material), he always wears some form of burnt orange/UT pants or gym shorts, and is always carrying a beer. Well, I watched him putz around with his dog for a little bit. But after a while, that short jaunt around the tree got to be too much and Mr. Vietnam had to take a rest on the wooden ledge. I watched him to make sure he was okay. Then slowly, like a little shirtless, drunk baby, he fell asleep. Just like that. Chin to chest, snoozin' while his little dog did his thing. I looked around: no one else seem to notice the old man, so I just let him be.

2) I hate bugs. It is rare that they find their way into my apartment, but if they do...then they are dumb not to trust their bug senses that this is the end. Any bug that comes in meets its demise with Black Flag bug spray. Its mainly for scorpions and bees and such (bugs I've never actually had). But hey, I figure the extra strength stuff always does the trick. One morning I was just trying to eat my eggs when I see a roach crawl up my living room wall. I guess I could just leave it because that is how scared I am of roaches, but then I think about where it could end up later in the day if I leave it: in my bed, in my shoe, in my shower cap. I shudder at the thought. So I become enraged, like the hulk. I run to find a broom, beat the roach off the wall, all the while screaming things like "YOU BASTARD, *&&#@!@" (you know, things to get myself pumped up). This is awkward because it's probably 7am and the floors and walls aren't that thick. And my neighbors have ears. I'm pretty sure they were judging me. I stomp on it under the broom, attack it with the Black Flag, but it doesn't die. Then I go all Ryan Gosling on this bug and do something like this (GRAPHIC CONTENT AHEAD!)

Sorry to scare you, Carey.

1)And this has happened multiple times, but I will sum it up into a couple examples. It's one thing to have funny/awkward things happen to you when you are alone. But sometimes it gets so bad that I start to argue with myself. And not even with myself. I imagine in my head having a conversation with someone that I know. Maybe I'm anticipating talking with them later that day, or maybe I'm remembering how a conversation went in the past. But then I will randomly respond out loud. Usually I am arguing with that other person so I will just blurt out angry comments. For example, I'll be scrubbing the bathtub and then a random, "BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE TO STUDY IN GROUPS," will come out. Or I might be hanging up clothes in the closet and grumpily scoff, "Ha! Why don't you bring coffee cake for the office?!" Jeez...why don't they just listen.?(Disclaimer: I am not schizophrenic!)

-Alanna

Sisterly Conversations on: Awkward Apartment Visits

noreply@blogger.com (TheCLadies) — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 04:20:00 +0000

I guess the idea for this blog was supposed to be a "conversation", in which someone writes a blog entry and then the other person focuses on something from that entry and writes a new one based on said focus. Or, if it wasn't it is now (take note, Alanna).

I will start by saying that everything in the previous "bragging on little sis" blog is true. I refute nothing. I am a genius. I am hilarious. I do give death stares. I do look like my sister (supposedly.......). I would like a Beaver Nugget. However, one thing that was not mentioned is that I am awkward. Alanna and I once ran into some douche she used to know at Express (a fascinating story in itself) and when he asked me how I was, I responded: "it's hot." Direct quote. I am a master of the awkward run in, awkward hugs, awkward silences, the awkward laugh, awkward small talk, the awkward eye-contact-when-you're-staring-at-someone-so-you-quickly-pretend-to-be-staring-at-something-over-their-head maneuver. I am also a master of the awkward apartment visit.

What is an awkward apartment visit, you may ask yourself? In my case, the awkward apartment visit (referred to as the AAV) happens whenever the maintenance man, plumber or pest control man make any stop at apartment 512 (apartment numbers changed to protect the innocent). Every. Single. Time.

The first AAV happened in December while I was getting ready to go Christmas shopping on my day off. The first thing to understand about the AAV is that my apartment complex has maybe two criteria for hiring maintenance men:
1) extremely old
2) procrastinator

It never fails that I put in a request for some sort of small, girlish activity to be performed and roughly three weeks later, I can finally stop showering in my own bath water because Elmer (name NOT changed to protect the innocent) has come to unclog my shower drain of my small hair wig.

ANYWAYS, this is basically the task that was coming to be performed on this day. Since I never know when Elmer is coming, 9 times out of 10 I am not prepared for his arrival. This day was cold so I was wearing boots. I've learned that the best boot wearing happens when you tuck your jeans into your tallest pair of socks to avoid bunchage. This was the task I was performing when Elmer came-a-knocking and I answered my door with my jeans tucked into my socks like some kind of hipster, Austinite hillbilly.

Ok, maybe not so bad. Perhaps the time I requested to have my leaky faucet fixed will provide you with a better picture of the AAV. Again, I put my request in and for a week straight, I made sure that my bathroom was cleared of any jeans, bras, undergarments, socks, Jonas Brothers t-shirts (true story), whatever, before I left for the day. Every day, for a week. The one day I was late for class and didn't have time to clean up after myself is the day the faucet gets fixed. There's also a good chance I had been wearing that JoBro t-shirt (amongst other unmentionables) and it/they was/were now laying out for the world to see. Or maybe just Elmer.

The plumber came when I needed the work that Elmer did, undone. It turns out when he fixed my leaky faucet, he made the handle turn the wrong way. It never bothered me, but it apparently bothered everyone else. This one was a true record breaker, because it took them TWO MONTHS to come fix it. In the mean time, my drain stopper had also broken. This meant that the plumber was in for an extended visit! And I was in for a treat too, since I was home with nothing to do but clean my apartment and make small talk. Things started off okay. The plumber smelled like outside and sweat and had made my carpet and bathroom tile dirty with his work boots, for which I was internally giving him a DS. However, things quickly got very awkward when he called me over from my bedroom where I had been making the bed. He asked me if I could "clear out the cabinet under the sink" so that he could work. I walked in and was horrified to find him standing at an open cabinet with TEN (10!!!!!!) different bags/boxes/cartons/buckets/barrels of feminine products staring both of us in the face. He tried to look away while I attempted to scoop them all up in to my arms at once and failed, miserably. He finally put me out of my misery when he handed me a basket that had also been under the sink to carry them in (I'm not even lying) and told me that was "good enough" and he had enough space to work. A true gentleman. The visit was all downhill from there as he tried to make small talk with me for a good half hour about the UT golf team winning the National Championship (boring) and things he learned from infomercials (also boring). I just couldn't get past the wall of tampons that had probably cascaded down on him when he opened my cabinet. Or when they spilled out of my arms. It was like there was an unspoken, large elephant in the room.

Or maybe that's just how I perceived the situation. Because I'm awkward.

Sisterly Conversations on: Reverse Psychology...doh!

noreply@blogger.com (TheCLadies) — Sat, 16 Jun 2012 23:58:00 +0000

Well isn't this going to be typical?...By typical I mean this: A few weeks ago, I (Alanna) had this great idea to start this blog. Why blog? Because the alternatives, like keeping up with the Kardash family on E! (which should be E?, meaning "Entertainment?") are so tempting. Actually the idea came from me being the only person that seemed to be seriously entertained by my younger sister (Victoria). I laugh at practically everything she says when we are together. Like, it's unnatural. So I told her to make a blog because I wanted stuff to laugh at, but I figured out she would never do it until I made her. It's a beautiful thing we have as sisters really: I have an idea that I want to happen and I will stop at nothing, NOTHING, until my idea becomes a reality. Thus, I did this reverse psychology thing (yep, this is why they pay me the big bucks...I mean I pay them the big bucks for grad school). I told my sis that I would be a part of the blog. I knew that if I sacrificed myself and became a part of this process, I would reap the benefits of a daily dose of hilarity and sarcasm. My plan is working! Victoria (from here on out classically referred to as "V") has finally written the first entry of our sister blog! This exchange will take place presumably until the end of time...or at least until we get bored, blogging becomes lame, our lives are taken over by school or work, or until one of us gets our face eaten off during a trip to Florida.

So I laughed throughout the first post about said "Chatting and Cutting." I could picture V witnessing the debacle of the Sister Wives at Einstein's with this disgusted death stare plastered on her face. Please be advised that the death stare will now be referred to as "DS." (Look, I like shortening words/names down to letters and then referencing them. Get used to it). V gives the DS to mere commonfolk so often that it has become an unconscious reflex, or at least this is what I have diagnosed.

...Anyways! I had never heard of such a thing as "Chat and Cut" and could picture it in my head perfectly (or so I thought). Then I saw the Larry David clip attached at the bottom. "Wow," I thought, "V knows a lot about blogging. She puts in fancy videos. She. Is. Good." So I proceeded to watch Larry's usual disastrous altercation/explanation of the "Chat and Cut." I watch it about 1.5 times, not because I was that entertained, but because my iPad stopped buffering, scrubbing, loading, whatever you want to call it. (Side note: Rob Kardashian's new hair is greasy and gross. I'm calling it the Armenian Mullet...Mean Mullet, maybe?). Once I'm buffered, I finish the clip. It's then that I realize that I am the one that has been duped by my sister. This is the classic formula: 1) V says something funny, 2) Alanna tries to come back with an equally hilarious quip, 3) Alanna's joke/interpretation of V's funny is in fact not funny at all (cue DS), 4) crickets chirp and then we laugh at my stupidity until we get distracted by something else. No, this isn't a math test; you don't have to be afraid of the formula. But be prepared to see this formula crop up regularly on the sister blog. So in this instance, I totally thought the "Chat and Cut" meant chat with someone in line, and then randomly cut out of the conversation and run. I feel dumb...as usual. Because that is obviously NOT what it means! V is just too smart for ~~her~~ my own good! Sometimes I wonder if she would be my friend if we weren't related. Even though we are related, I still think she figuratively shakes her head at me every time words come out of my mouth. Doctoral student...reduced to a ditz in a matter of seconds by my genius lil sis (hey at least people say we look alike. I'll take it.)

THIS JUST IN: After visiting my sis in San Marcos while I was at school (yes on a Saturday), mom walks in my apartment after coming back from Buc-ee's for the first time with a bag in her hand and the greeting, "Hi! Beaver nugget?" Get ready people...

-Alanna

Sisterly Conversations on: EINSTEIN'S

noreply@blogger.com (TheCLadies) — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 18:27:00 +0000

I suppose I have been given the task to write the first blog in our sister blog! I'm not sure how we are supposed to distinguish who is "talking" (writing?) but I will for now write in this pretty font in this pretty shade of purple.

I wasn't sure what to make the first entry about, but then I found myself at Enstein Bros. Bagels this morning for maybe the second time this week (DON'T JUDGE ME). It's always a good time when I go there. For example, the other time I went this week, there was a large Sister Wives convention (side note: a "Sister Wives convention" is any large gathering of homely dressed women) with their children and husbands. They each took turns ordering a million bagels for themselves and their children and then bought their own cream cheese tubs to schmear everyone's bagels separately. They were generally loud and in the way, with some kid screaming about how he was going to order 15 of everything and then dared his friend to eat it all. Anyways, they were generally OOC and when the bagel maker finally put all 80 of their bagels in separate baskets up on the counter, she told the leader of the pack "here are your bagels!" I swear everyone in that group stared at her like they had no clue where they were, who they were or what they ordered. Then one of them was like "woah that's a lot of bagels!" and then laughed like it was the most hilarious joke in the world. Yeah those are your bagels, now get out of my way!

Today when I went, it was a Friday at 11, so naturally there were a lot of elderly people there. The man in front of me went to order and this lady, who had been by herself at a table, got up and went over to the man and their conversation went something like this:

Lady: (gives man a hug) Oh my gosh! It is so good to see you! How have you been?
Man: (says something in response)
Lady: Oh that is so great! (to cashier) I'll have the Tuscan Pesto bagel, toasted please.

I couldn't believe it! This lady just performed a classic "chat and cut" (which is a term my friend Tara told me about and is demonstrated in the video below**) and ordered bagels on this man's tab! I was secretly hoping they didn't know each other but....they did. In fact they were Larry and Noeli! Also, Noeli gave the cashier some of her homemade jewelry. A sweet moment indeed.

(ALSO: this has nothing to do with Einstein's but afterwards I went to Target where there were two ladies in their 60s shopping together talking about the plot of The Hangover 2. "I watched the most hilarious movie the other night! They were at a bachelor party in Bangkok...it was The Hangover 2! You must see it.")

Anyways, that's all I have for now. I've learned that you don't need to go to 6th street or a concert to find some of the most interesting characters in Austin. Just head on over to your local old folks' neighborhood and you can have the time of your life!!

**chat and cut, por ejemplo.