From the Mouths of Children

This is why...

noreply@blogger.com (From the Mouths of Children) — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 22:12:00 +0000

There is nothing particularly funny about this post today. I have some funny stories that I haven't updated on the blog due to being busy. Today was the most amazingly wonderful day for me as a teacher. My students organized an end of the year surprise party for me with the help of some other teachers. Never before have I felt such positivity and appreciation for the work that I do. Parents came, some brought gifts, children wrote thoughtful cards and there was delicious snacks. I could never have imagined this! There are some days that I fee really spent and ask myself why I'm doing this. It was a day like today that reminded just why.

More funny stories on the way later...

Group work with Clay

noreply@blogger.com (From the Mouths of Children) — Thu, 26 May 2011 01:08:00 +0000

At my school, the grade does the cooperative group project involving the systems of the body. The children make models and posters to explain a system of the human body. Two girls in my class were working together. One girl is very creative, and she thinking outside the box. She is a very good creative writer and doesn't directly state very much. The other girl organized, likes to get things done, and can frankly, be a little bossy. I listened to them trying to navigate how they were going to include everything in their poster. The creative girl, Michelle, got so made at the organized girl, Allison, that I started to visually see it in her face. I wanted to see how they were going to handle it. Allison got more and more pushy and authoritative about not doing Michelle's idea. Michelle became very silent and just started squeezing the modeling clay so it would gush through her fingers. Allison said something like, "now we have a plan and we will finish this project soon." Michelle, with tears in her eyes and holding up a ball of clay, said, "Allison, see this ball of clay. If this were your head, I would just squeeze your brains out until you'd stop talking." As the words came out of her mouth, she ripped the ball in two right in front of Allison's face. So I stepped in:

Me: Allison, do you understand what Michelle is trying to say to you?
Allison: ( looking confused) Not really
Me: She sounds angry. Michelle, are you angry at Allison?
Michelle: (now crying) yes, she doesn't like any of my ideas.
Allison: It's not that I don't like any of your ideas. It's that were not doing them.
Me: (to Allison) Why can't you include some of her ideas?
Allison: I guess we can
Me: The point of this project is to work together to fulfill your task. I want you to try to include parts of both of your ideas...understood?

I love the way Michelle ripped the ball of clay in Allison's face. Even funnier to me, Allison totally didn't get that Michelle was even mad. Kids learn so much more in school than just the academic subjects...at least I hope!

Dolls

noreply@blogger.com (From the Mouths of Children) — Tue, 17 May 2011 00:53:00 +0000

Fifth grade is a funny age because some girls are ready for make-up and dating and other are still playing with dolls. The ones who still do play with dolls start to hide it because it clearly is not the "cool" thing to do. Anyway, this girl in my class did a fabulous presentation. I was really wow-ed by her. Afterward, we were talking as I was giving her her grade and we had this interaction:

Me: Wow! You really did a fabulous job! You must have really worked hard on this.
Girl: Yeah, I did!
Me: What did you do to prepare?
Girl: Well, I set up my dolls in my room just like our classroom. Then, I pretended I was you and practiced my presentation.
Me: Sounds like a great idea. Well, it certainly paid off! I want to share with the class how your practice really paid off.
Girl: umm, well, that's okay but can you leave the part out about the dolls?
Me: Sure, we can just keep that between us..
Girl: Thanks! What a relief!

Ghosts

noreply@blogger.com (From the Mouths of Children) — Sat, 14 May 2011 01:00:00 +0000

This has been an intensely busy two weeks, and I fear the next few weeks will be just the same. We took two big trips with the grade. One trip was to Philadelphia and the other trip was an overnight to Washington, DC. I confess I was nervous about the overnight because, those who know me know, my sleep is very important to me. Anyway, one thing that I do like about these longer trips is that you do see different sides to the kids when they are so far removed from the classroom setting. Kids, who I doubted would be able to handle the trip, rose to the occasion beautifully.

Just as I was settling comfortably into bed my hotel phone rang.

Desk operator:“Ms. F, one of the room with students is requesting to speak with you.”

Me: Sure, put them through.

Me: Hello, this is Ms. F.

Boy 1: Ms. F, it’s Peter. We’re really scared in this room.

Me: Really, why?

Peter: Well, this place is haunted.

Me: what makes you think that?

Peter: Our lights were flickering, the clock in our room is wrong and we hear other noises.

Me: Sweetheart, we are very safe here.

Peter: Ms. F, do you believe in ghosts?

Me: No

Peter: DON’T SAY THAT! Then, they will come for you. Can you just come here?

Me: Okay, I’m coming

I got to the room only to find all four boys huddled in one bed. I eventually calmed them down enough so that they’d all get in bed. Then I left and went to bed. I heard they kept another chaperone up for another 2 hours. I think the sleeping set up for these kids was a little beyond them.

Overall thought, it was a great trip~!

Snack

noreply@blogger.com (From the Mouths of Children) — Wed, 04 May 2011 00:13:00 +0000

On Mondays, I tutor this little girl that I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’ve been working with her for three years now. I’ve really come to know her parents over the years between her special needs, lots of meetings at her school and even some discipline and behavioral issues. We’ve been through a lot with this girl, Nina, and we’ve built a level of trust and teamwork that’s so helpful. I showed up to this girl’s house, and remarkably, I showed up before her bus came. When her mom came to the door, she was having trouble breathing and shocked me with, “I’m so sorry to do this to you, but I need you to drive me to the hospital. I have terrible asthma, and I know this is bad. My husband will meet us there as soon as he can.” So, as I think anyone would, I agreed to drive her and we started walking towards the car.

Sure enough, Nina’s bus came and she bolted off the bus as if she was trapped in there for years. She saw me and immediately launched into, “Lisa! I have so much homework, and it’s hard.” I told her that we’d work on it, but that her mom wasn’t feeling well and we needed to get in my car immediately and drive to the hospital.

This is the part that totally knocked me off my feet. Nina proceeded to only focus on herself in the midst of an emergency with her mom. She started with, “Can I get a snack first?” I told her no, but we’d get one at the hospital. I rushed her to the car, reminded her to buckle up and we were off. Throughout the whole car ride (about 10 minutes), Nina could not stop talking about her snack, her poor mom was wheezing and coughing, and I was putting all my effort into getting to the hospital quickly and safely. Behind me I hear:

Nina: Lisa, what kind of snacks do hospitals have?

Me: They have a bunch of things, and you’ll choose when you get there (aka: don’t know be quiet)

Nina: Lisa, do they have lemonade? I think I want lemonade.

Me: I’m not sure, but we’ll go look. We just have to get there (aka: I don’t know, stop asking me questions)

Nina: Lisa….

Me: Yes

Nina: ummm, ummm actually nevermind

(thank gd!)

30 seconds later

Nina: Lisa, I remember now. Am I allowed to have chips?....Liiisssaaa?, Liiiiisssa?

Me: (trying to get driving directions from the wheezing mom; I finally said in a stern voice) Nina, I need you to listen very carefully to me. My main job right now is getting Mommy to the hospital. I promise I’ll get you a snack, but I need quiet so I can hear how to get where we need go. Do you understand?

Nina: Yeah

We get to the hospital (which isn’t close by, by the way), and I pull into the circle. Mom starts walking in, and I go park the car with Nina. As we are walking into the hospital, I said, “Nin, do you understand why I needed quiet?

Nina: (with a smile) yeah, I get it now.

Me: Do you want to get a snack now?

Nina: Nah, I’m not hungry anymore

Seriously?!

My lines

noreply@blogger.com (From the Mouths of Children) — Tue, 03 May 2011 23:46:00 +0000

So today a student finally caught me at one of my lines. I don’t know exactly how I started saying this in class, but whenever I’m going easy on the kids about something I find myself saying, “See, I’m not as mean as I look…” Most often the kids laugh, we have a little 5^th grade style banter about it, and we move on. Today, there were two questions on a math test that I was giving them, but I realized (only AFTER they were taking it that it may not be a fair question). So, I announced that the kids can “X” out those 2 questions, and we’d talk about them afterward. Just to remind them that I was doing something nice for them ;), I finished off my announcement with: “See, I’m not as mean as I look…” Without skipping a beat and with a playful tone to his voice, a little boy said, “we’ll thank gd for that! Who knows where you’d be?” I have to say I loved every second of that. This boy came into my class so timid and shy. Now, he’s joking around with me! The growth of children over the course of the year never stops amazing me.

Idioms and a brothers talk

noreply@blogger.com (From the Mouths of Children) — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 00:35:00 +0000

It is so funny to me that kids take expressions very literally (especially special ed kids). My class is doing an idiom project where they have to use fifteen idiom in sentences and make this book about it. There sentences have to show me they get the meaning of the word. They have 'check points' along the way, so I know that they are at least doing some work and on the right track. Procrastinators have a hard time in my class because I make them break it down. Anyway, here are some sentences that didn't quite hit the mark and I find funny:

For: "put my foot in my mouth" (they could change the pronouns if needed)

1) My sister is so loud that I told her to put her foot in her mouth so I could go to sleep.

2) Kate is so good at gymnastics that she can get her foot in her mouth.

For: "jump the gun" (this kid argued that it is drop the gun)

1) My dad dropped the gun so no one would get shot.

There was a lot of explaining to do on that one.

For: "eats like a bird"

1) She eats like a bird because she likes seeds.

On a completely unrelated note, the grade had their puberty talk with the nurse and PE staff earlier this week. I decided I LOVE this day. It is just too funny. Their reactions are priceless to me! Anyway, I thought this year was relatively mellow until a parent came in to see me the next morning as I was setting up. We had this interaction:

Mom: Good morning, Ms. F, can I come in? I have to share my son's reaction to the puberty talk to you because I don't think he gets it.
Me: Sure, what happened?
Mom: Well, he came home with this little goody bag of stuff (deodorant, diagrams) and he was pumped to tell me about it. He took out the diagram. He was like, 'mom, did you know my voice is going to get lower?' and 'do you know I'm going to get hair in all the places dad does?' Naturally, his two younger brothers came over and Michael started sharing what he learned with them. When he started explaining what he knew to my younger boys, I realized he didn't quite get it.
Me: Oh?
Mom: Yeah, he told them that one day they will go to the bathroom and instead of pee sperm will come out. He said to his brothers, "isn't that so cool? no more pee"
Both the mom and I were laughing and she continues...
Mom: So, do you think my husband and I should do a review course with him? Is there any harm in him thinking this?
I explained to her how the program is really about body changes as opposed to sex so he may not get that piece of it yet, and it was up to her as to how/if she wanted to clarify this with him.
He missed the boat a bit.

Poetry Response

noreply@blogger.com (From the Mouths of Children) — Sun, 27 Mar 2011 19:52:00 +0000

Part of fifth grade is reading language is more figurative and descriptive. In class, we read this poem that I have been doing for years now. The children have a three paragraph response that they are required to write. Never before did I get a reaction like this:

"I hated this poem. It wouldn't get to the point. For example, she said "I saw the dawn creep across the sky." So what? Why do I care about the dawn going across the sky? This poem does not make any sense. How could she see "the ocean put on a dress."Why is this so beautiful anyway? She did not even explain the writing. I don't understand why she has to be so poetic. I understand why all of this attracts her even though the writing is bad. I see everything she see, but I don't act like it's amazing like she is. I don't know why so many people love this poem."

I love how he says that he doesn't understand why she has to be so poetic. After all, it is a poem.

There's a lot of love in the room!

noreply@blogger.com (From the Mouths of Children) — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 23:48:00 +0000

This blog post is less about a particularly funny event and more about a surprising, ongoing trend in my class for this point in the year. There is quite a bit of talk about if you "like like" someone or just "like" them. For the spring of fifth grade in general, it is not so unusual. The unusual part for me is that there is one boy at the heart of all this. All of the girls like the same boy, and you should see how this little guy can handle all of these girls. Some older men would be watching him in awe...

Anyway, he's recently settled into a "relationship" with one girl in the class. To which he asked, "Ms. F, why don't you partner me with Sarah anymore?" The fact that he asked me that question let's me know how smart he really thinks I am.

However, even with the latest development, he still makes the rounds quite well by spending more time flirting than focusing on anything I'm saying. Some parents have even called asking for me to move their child away from this boy because they think it is disrupting their daughter's concentration. Frankly, his interest in girls and their interest in him is disrupting HIS concentration. I even tried to talk to him about what I've started calling "his silliness." That was my way of nicely saying he lost his focus. I also didn't want to touch on the whole "love" issue because I recognize he most likely didn't want to talk about it with me, his teacher. Little did I know he had a different idea. We had this interestion:

Me: Eric, I need to talk to you.
Eric: Yeah, Ms. F
Me: I need you to stay more focused during our lessons. You are getting too silly, and it is distracting.
Eric: I know! I know! (puts his head in his hands)
Me: Do you have any idea what's going on?
Eric: I don't need an idea. I know (head still in his hands)
Me: What do you know?
Eric: (looking at me) I like girls! I want to talk to them all the time. I think about them a lot too.
Me: I understand, and it is totally normal. You need to be able to feel those feelings and also do your school work...understand?
Eric: yeah

I thought this was going to calm the situation somewhat, and it did for awhile. I got a phone call from his mother that Eric thinks that he can do homework on skype with his "girlfriend." The boy is also telling his mother that I'm saying it is part of his assignment. I assured the mother that I would be happy to clarify that with him at school :). So we continued our talk with this interaction:

Me: Eric, are you doing your homework with Sarah on skype?
Eric: No
Me: Well, I heard from your mom that you told her that you were on skype doing homework with Sarah. You know that's not what I'm assigning.
Eric: Yeah, that's what she thinks because I told her that. Actually, we log on to say goodnight to each other.

Is it me or are these kids growing up too quickly? AND, what ever happened to just wishing your parents goodnight at 10? maybe a sibling and pet? AND, why don't these parents just take the computers away from the child if they don't want them to use it? AND,..well I could just go on and on....

Baby voice

noreply@blogger.com (From the Mouths of Children) — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 01:23:00 +0000

I'm coming out and admitting my week back to work after a restful, blissful February vacation was stressful. Once again, none of this stress was at the fault of the children. What does that say about adults??

Anyway, there were plenty of interactions that made me smile, and here are a few of them:

I tutor this little boy, Aiden, who sometimes looking at him alone brings a smile to my face. He's a little chubby, fully of snot, has very curly hair that covers his eyes a bit, and as if that wasn't enough, he has an unfortunate breathing problem. He and I get along great, but he does have behavioral issues at school, and he loves, loves to be right. In fact, he and I have a behavioral chart for each time he doesn't argue with me while I'm helping him. He's currently working hard for a chance to play a video game on his dad's ipad for as this little guy says "a whole 20 minutes." His dad isn't worried that he'll have to had over his ipad any time soon. At this last visit, Aiden was only talking like a baby. We had this interaction:

boy (in obnoxious baby voice): I need help on 'dis one.
Me: Aiden, I'll help you, but you are too big to talk like that.
boy: sorwee! (still in baby voice) I'm 'da baby in 'da house.
Without responding, I walk over to the kitchen counter where I usually leave a note to his mom. Aiden stops me and STILL in his baby voice he says, "where you goin'?"
Me: I'm writing a note to your mom that you should go to bed very early tonight because you're a baby now.
boy: (NOW in regular voice) what?! why?! Don't do that. She'll do anything you say.
Me: We'll if you are a baby now, you should be going to bed soon. I don't, at say about, 7:30.
boy: Okay, okay...let's just do this math.

:) Worked like a charm!

I think your N should be a V

noreply@blogger.com (From the Mouths of Children) — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 23:14:00 +0000

It is crazy, absolutely crazy, at school now. We are doing reading tests, the kids are putting on a play with loads of rehearsals and we are teaching at the same time. In some time that I was actually teaching, we were continuing our study of economics. Yes, in fifth grade, there is now an economic component to the curriculum. Overall, we are looking at how people make money in different parts of the Western Hemisphere. Today's topic was Canada. When talking about Canada we talked about how valuable their natural resources are. As we hit on one of them, Niagara Falls, a boy raised shared this:

Boy: Ms. F, I think you spelled the name of the waterfall wrong.
Me: (turned around, looked, didn't see a mistake) I don't think so. How do you think it should be spelled?
Boy: Well, the N should be a V. I think it is called Viagara Falls.
Me: (I can only imagine what my face was) Why do you think this?
Boy: Well, I saw this commercial with a man and a woman walking near some water. They look like they're in love or something, and the commercial said Viagra and not Niagara. Maybe the commercial was trying to get people to come visit.

Now, you might expect the whole class to be laughing. They weren't. What do these sheltered kids know from that? So, I was relieved that I didn't have to get into what Viagra was. With 90% of my energy dedicated to not laughing at that moment, I used the other 10% to saw.

Me: Hmm, that sounds interesting. I'm not sure I've seen that commercial. I do know for sure that the waterfall you need to know about is Niagara Falls for it's hydroelectric power.

noreply@blogger.com (From the Mouths of Children) — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 01:47:00 +0000

Happy New Year! Long time no post...I know, I know I dropped the ball a bit. My class was displaced from our classroom due to the no heat. I'm happy to say we are back in our usual surroundings. It was a big stress on me to have things everywhere.

For a creative writing assignment, some kids have chosen to write a persuasive letter to their parents about wanting more pocket money. All of these letters are hysterical. Here's one that I thought we all could enjoy!

Underwear and experimenting with a new word!

noreply@blogger.com (From the Mouths of Children) — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 22:45:00 +0000

It’s been awhile since I’ve updated this blog. There is quite a bit going on right now: 1) I am still managing some health issues. I know I’ve said this before, but we’re on the upswing (at least I just keep telling myself that). 2) There is no heat in my regular classroom. We had to move into another classroom. Not only did we displace someone else, but we also don’t have a lot of our usual stuff. I have one more week in this other room, and then, after winter break, I may be back in my classroom. This really shakes things up for kids. With that said, my class of angels are doing really well with it.

Here are two highlights:

We are reading this mystery book in one of our book groups, and in this story, a boy is searching for something in his grandma’s room. By accident, the character in this book opens a drawer that turns out to his grandma’s underwear drawer. Most of the kids giggle and laugh. This one boy stops me and says:

Boy: wait, I’m confused. Why is there an underwear drawer in his grandma’s room?
Me: Sweetheart, he’s in her bedroom.
Boy: grandparents wear underwear...wow..I never really thought about that before! I guess they do...
Me: of course, they do! They’re people too.
Boy: weird

This other story I heard in a the teacher’s lunchroom today, and I was really laughing at this one. A teacher shares that one of her students, who is kind of into eccentric and reads a lot, discovers a now inappropriate, esoteric n-word to describe a black person. It was a a black girl’s birthday on this particular day, and the boy decided to wish her “Happy Birthday, n...” He did not mean it in a derogatory way. The adults really believe he learned it in a book and didn’t understand the other implications of the word. I guess that’s what a second grader can do when he’s exposed to adult words without knowing the adult consequences...kind of sad but funny too.

the color of you...

noreply@blogger.com (From the Mouths of Children) — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 22:03:00 +0000

Hi! It's been awhile. I have been not well these past days/a little over a week. Thank goodness I have a dream class because I am truly beat. I felt badly for them because I started having to leave work in the middle of the day. One day, I was in so much pain from this that I ended up pulling a random teacher from the hallway to watch my kids and I drove myself to the ER. I'm thankful I did, but I felt badly for my students. Anyway, I felt like I needed to provide an explanation for them about midweek. I sat the kids down on our class rug, and I started to explain that I have something going on. I didn't want them to worry, but I just wanted them to know what it was so they wouldn't let their imaginations get the better of them. One of my boys, with some social skill issues, decides to join the conversation my contributing this:

"Oh wow! Ms. F, you're looking horrible lately, so I'm not surprised. My mom won't be either because when she dropped me off this morning she said you were looking skinny and tired. Besides, the color of you ( he was trying to say I looked pale) is not how it usually is. I've seen you look bad, but ...."

I stopped him by saying, "OOOOOOkay, thanks for sharing your opinion. Does anyone have a question, not a comment, but a question about what I just shared with you?"

Clocks

noreply@blogger.com (From the Mouths of Children) — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 03:32:00 +0000

There have been so many times over the past week or so that I thought "that's one for the blog!" Unfortunately, I have been so busy that I haven't had a chance or the energy to even write. The thing is that I feel like I am running on a treadmill that keeps speeding up. I put a stop to it for a little though, and I'm thrilled to go to Boston to do some visiting. Here's something funny that happened today:

I had this feeling that I lot of the kids in my class can't read an analog clock. The truth is that they aren't really required to do it that much anymore. All of the electronic devices in homes, in cars, on portable devices and even in our school are digital. Either way, call me old fashion, but I feel like reading an analog clock is still a valuable skill (even if it means that they just use it during a power outage). So, acting on my feeling, I did random poll of the class asking anyone who still have trouble reading non-digital clocks. This is what one girl said to me:

Me: Raise your hand if you feel you still need more practice reading clocks.
(more than half the class raised its hand).
Girl: Ms. F, I don't think we should waste our time with those circle clocks.
Me: Why not?
Girl: Well, I've practiced this before and every time the circle CLOCK isn't right.
Me: What do you mean the circle clock isn't right?
Girl: See, let me see your watch.
(Show her my watch)
Girl: Our classroom clock says 1:48 and your watch says...(long pause-she started counting by fives on her fingers :)..says 12:58.
Me: It does..let me see that...Sweetheart, the watch is right but you're reading it wrong.
Girl: So, the circle clocks do work?
Me: Yes, they were even around before the digital ones
Girl: Wow! that must have been so hard

I just love this little girl!

Fragment

noreply@blogger.com (From the Mouths of Children) — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 00:52:00 +0000

It's official. I love my class this year. I know I said this last year, but this year it is also true. There is this one girl who seems to make me laugh often (I know; usually it's the boys that make me laugh). Anyway, one of my pet peeves is that the kids come into fifth grade thinking that dependent clauses are sentences just because it has a capital letter and a period at the end. I quickly burst that bubble and drown them in practicing the difference between dependent and independent clauses. They can now say in their sleep that a dependent clause is considered a fragment (I'm so proud!).
During reading time today, we were focusing on character traits. I used this story about a girl who is a copy cat type character. The discussion went to the idea that this character is not an independent person. This little girl said, "Yeah, I agree. She's just a fragment."

I loved it!

Not my grandparents!

noreply@blogger.com (From the Mouths of Children) — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 00:42:00 +0000

One of the fifth grade science lessons is about the 6 life processes that all living things do. They are: 1) gets energy 2) uses energy 3) gets rid of waste 4) grows 5) reacts to change 6) reproduce. As a way to practice looking for all six processes, kids pick picture cards out of a basket. They get to talk in a small group to go through the 6 life processes and decide if something is really alive. A little girl in my class got “grandparents.” I happen to know her grandma, which makes this even more funny. When she got her card, she sat and thought about it. Then, she came up to me and said:

Girl: Ms. F, I know that my grandparents are alive but they don’t do all of the life processes.

Me: Really?! They are people aren’t they? Which ones don’t they do?

Girl: Well, they don’t reproduce!

Me: Of course, they did. How do you think they became grandparents?

Girl: Ms. F, there is just no way. Not my grandparents!

Me: Why not? They had your parents.

Girl: They’re just so old.

Me: They weren’t always that old.

Girl: Can I just pick another card?

By the end of the day..

noreply@blogger.com (From the Mouths of Children) — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 23:17:00 +0000

Every once and awhile I have a day that reminds me why I love teaching. It isn’t for the funny things that kids say (although I love that). We were starting to use our writing journals today, and I have this basket with writing ideas laminated on index cards. I get them from a variety of sources: my head, my heart, teaching magazines, books on teaching writing, etc. Anyway, I reached into the writing basket and this card came out: “If your teacher won a million dollars, what do you think s/he’d would do with it?” Just as I finished reading the question and a boy in my class said: “she’d choose a different career.” If you knew this boy’s personality, you’d know (like I did) that he didn’t mean it to be disrespectful. So, after quieting the reaction of the rest of the class, I said, “what makes you say that?” He said, “as a teacher, you probably don’t make a lot of money. You see, you’re one of the smartest people I know and I think you should make more money.” It was coming from a really sweet place! I realized there is a lot to what he said. Not surprisingly, he knew that teachers don’t make that much money. I started wondering if he could even conceive of another reason why I am a teacher. So, I asked, and he couldn’t. Wanting to move on with my lesson, I said: “think about it, and give me an answer at the end of the day.” He agreed, and we finished the lesson.

There was no mention of this until I was standing in the lunch room. The same little boy came over to me and said, “Hey, Ms. F, I have a riddle for you.” Humoring him, I said, “let me hear.” He said, “a man is laying dead on the floor of his office. The only thing in the room is an apple and a spilled glass of water. How did he die.” I made two suggestions: “He had a heart attack?” and “he choked on the apple.” With a huge smile, the boy said, “nope, both wrong.” Wanting this conversation to end, I said, “I give up!” He took a deep breath and said, “okay, think about it and give me an answer by the end of the day.” I had know choice but to give the kid a high five.

Getting more Handsome

noreply@blogger.com (From the Mouths of Children) — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 10:28:00 +0000

I can’t believe it’s been this long since I’ve posted. It was a really crazy week last week. I found myself so tired by the end of the week that I felt like I was just this body walking around, and my mind had gone to sleep a long time ago. The class is a really sweet one, and it is not them in and of themselves that tired me out so much. I was more drained from all of the other tasks I’ve taken on. I really like doing them, but it would not be an exaggeration to say I slept/laid around for most of the weekend. Anyway, here are a highlight of last week:

I was walking past the boys bathroom (which is not too far from my classroom by the way), and I heard a little voice from behind the door say, “Hey, Ms. F, is that you?” I stopped and said, “yes, are you alright?” The voice said, “Yup! I knew it was you because I heard your voice. Will you wait a second? I want to give you a hug.” At this point, I’m still not sure who is chatting with me through a bathroom door AND why he so badly wants to give me a hug. So, of course I say, “make sure you wash your hands. I’ll be right out here ” Out walks a little boy that I’ve known since he’s in kindergarten, and actually, I ended up helping one year with kindergarten soccer, and he was in it. The thing is that he was so much taller and older looking. He’d lost that kindergarten/1st grade baby face. As if this couldn’t get more ridiculous, we had this conversation:

Me: Hey, Bobby, you surprised me! I didn’t know who was coming out of the bathroom.
Boy: Yup, it was me. I saw you yesterday but you were talking to someone else. I don’t think you saw me.
Me: I don’t think I did.
Boy: You could of also not recognized me because I got more handsome this summer. That’s what my grandma told me. So, maybe you didn’t know it was me.
Me: I think that was it! You did get very handsome this summer.
Boy: (big smile) I knew that was it! See you later, Ms. F.

So cute! He “got so handsome” he thought I didn’t recognize him. Also, he was totally okay talking to me through the bathroom door. Haha..

Flag

noreply@blogger.com (From the Mouths of Children) — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 17:27:00 +0000

For some unknown reason, the American flag that I've had in my classroom disappeared when I was unpacking boxes. So, my children had been pledging to a beautiful imaginary flag since Sept. 7th. We finally got word that the school found their 1 extra flag in the school basement (I'd be so scared to go down there). Anyway, when it was brought up to my room, it was on a pole that was so long that I couldn't put it in the flag pole holder because the ceiling got in the way. Now we know why this flag became the extra one that lived in the based and no one else wanted! Luckily, it was on a wooden pole, and when my awesome maintenance guys (seriously they are so good to me) got a chance they were going to trim the pole so we could hang our flag. So I leaned the flag, and it's super long pole against the wall, and I knew they'd trim it when they got a chance. One of the boys in the class came up to me and said: "Hey, Ms. F, I feel bad that you have to wait so long for our flag to get cut. You know my dad has a chain saw in our garage. He's away on a business trip, but I'd use it for you." Umm...no, you won't. That thought gave me at least two nightmares.

Not at all!

noreply@blogger.com (From the Mouths of Children) — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 23:35:00 +0000

Since the start of the year, I've wanted to start a partnering blog called "From the Mouths of Parents." I have had some crazy parent stories lately, but I feel like it is getting harder to shock me. Maybe that's what three years of experience buys you. For instance, I had to turn down my dream of a class pet for a child who wasn't allergic to the animal but a completely unrelated allergen. Or, my personal favorite, "we decided last minute to take a week vacation. I won't be getting my child's work so don't bother sending it home. It's not like he'll miss that much." I want to say..."you're right, we're just going to sit in school and wait for you guys to come back." For my job's sake, thank goodness I have a filter between my brain and my mouth.

As far as kids, I had a moment today that made me laugh all day. I have a boy in my class who is pretty far along on the autistic spectrum. As with many kids, his condition is complicated and, of course, one of the many aspects of him is a complete misunderstanding of social norms. He also struggles unbelievably so with anything related to organization. Lately, he's been trying to cover up some things he knows he's forgotten or not done correctly. He's come up with these standard one liners to help him explain or try to get out of his little sticky situations. The standard one about not handing in homework is: "My parents weren't home last night. You know, this possible because my mom goes out some nights." The line hasn't work yet, but it is taking a long time to die out.

My students just came back from almost a week off due to a holiday. He was supposed to get something signed and he didn't. So we had this interaction:

Me: Sweetheart, what happened? I'm looking for my signed note.
Boy: Ms.F, my parents weren't home last night. You know, this possible because my mom goes out some nights.
Me: Bobby, we were just off for many nights. Are you being truthful with me?
Boy: Not at all
Me: I'm so disappointed about this.
Boy: Eh, I don't really care.
Me: Bobby, go back to your seat please.

I love how he totally came clean. I love my job!

An anesthesiologist & a mother

noreply@blogger.com (From the Mouths of Children) — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 02:39:00 +0000

School is up and running! I have another great class this year, and quite honestly, I wasn't expecting it. You see there is this rumor among the teachers that if you get a sweet class one year, then you are bound to get a rough batch the next year. I loved my class last year, so I expected hell city. Either the shoe hasn't dropped yet or they're just a great bunch. There were two quotes from the kids "Getting to Know You" survey that just cracked me up. Here goes:

Question: What job do you think you'd like to have when you grow up and why?

One boy writes: "I'd like to be an anesthesiologist (spelled anastheezyologist) when I grow up. It is a type of doctor that can put people to sleep. I learned about this job when I had to have surgery this summer. I want to have this job because I think it is cool that you could put anyone to sleep whenever you wanted. I would especially like to use this with my brothers."

Question: Who are some of your friends in the grade? Why do you like being with them?

"I have only one true friend in this school and it is Joey. He is my true friend because he is the only one who understands how much I love rocks. We have a rock club together at recess. Even my mom doesn't understand how much I love rocks. I'm not allowed to pile them in the house anymore."

These answers made me laugh. I hope you enjoyed!

A Great Life

noreply@blogger.com (From the Mouths of Children) — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 00:35:00 +0000

We are still setting up our classrooms, getting organized and having a whole bunch of meetings to get ready for the start of school. Today a colleague of mind brought her son in to school. He was bored out of his mind, so I offered for him to help me with some simple set-up tasks. When I offered the job to him, he said "Ms. F, you chose the right person because I'm a great helper." While he was helping in the room, he decided to share this thought about me with me:

Boy: Hey, Ms. F, you must have a great life.
Me: I think it's pretty good; what makes you say that?
Boy: Well, my mom says people who are organized can get there work done faster and then move on to more fun things. I'm not organized so I have less fun because I'm always looking for things. You're really organized, so you must have a lot of fun. That means you have a great life!
Me: You are right on!

I just found this so cute!

That must have been awkward..

noreply@blogger.com (From the Mouths of Children) — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 23:49:00 +0000

I know that you shouldn't use sarcasm with kids, and I think I rarely do. I met a child who is going to be in my class when school starts. Sometimes kids come around when the teachers are setting up there rooms just to say hi. I don't mind being interrupted from my unpacking and setting up; it is just that I would rather the kids walk in to seeing the room as a finished product. Anyway, I get the need to relieve anxiety for both the children and the parents. So this little girl came to say hi and we had this interaction:

Me: Hi, I'm Miss F. How was your summer?
Child: Great! I was at sleep away camp.
Me: Oh, you're so lucky! I tried to go to sleep away camp this summer and they told me I was too old.
Child: (face drops) that must have been really awkward! were you embarrassed?

Oops! At least her mom laughed :).

Girls and an Imaginary Girlfriend

noreply@blogger.com (From the Mouths of Children) — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 22:21:00 +0000

I am so incredibly proud of my class today. They had there Moving Up! Ceremony, and I feel this sense of accomplishment for them and myself. I can only imagine what the parents are feelings. Anyway, two things made me laugh out loud today:

1) It is tradition after the ceremony for the kids to change in designated rooms (separating boys and girls, of course) and for the class to go to a pool party. My boys were waiting out in the hallway, and I noticed they looked angry. When I asked them what's going on, they responded "Miss F, why does it take so long for the girls to change? What on earth are they doing in there? It is hot, and we want to go in the pool. Can we leave without them?" Umm...of course not! I told them that the girls had more things to do to get ready and that they should get used it.

2) This is the one day of the year that I turn a blind eye to seeing electronic on the bus to the pool party. When the boys got off the bus, they were all crowding around an ipod (the one that looks like an iphone) and laughing. Since 10 year old boys can't seem to be discrete, I went over to see what the fuss was about. I totally expected to see an inappropriate picture of some kind. I asked the owner of the ipod to talk to me on the side. It turned out that he made himself "an imaginary" cartoon girlfriend from a computer program. She looked like a south park like character. After I looked at the picture, the boy and I had this interaction:
Me: So, who is this?
Boy (huge smile): My imaginary girlfriend....I made her.
Me: Oh, that's interesting
Boy: Yeah, she's great. Do you like her?
Me: Well, I guess. Does she have a name?
Boy: Umm...hmm (has an expression of deep thought)...well, I've just always called her Girlfriend. Am I in trouble?
Me: No, honey, I was just wondering what all the fuss was about.
Boy: Well, the other boys in our class were laughing, but I think they're just jealous.

Wow! I know now why I write more about boys. They are so ridiculously funny.

On another note, I think parents should stop sending their geriatric parents as "chaperones" for school functions. When you can't see or hear, you are not that much of a help.