L.B. Kröger's Writing Desk

Aspiring or Aspirations?

2012-03-01T15:51:00.000-06:00

I am always looking for advice from well-established writers. One that I have heard over and over again is to stop using the phrase "aspiring writer." This is not an entirely new concept. During my college years in Nashville, I made some extra cash by acting in local commercials, country music videos (it WAS Nashville, after all), and independent and student films. I even had an agent to represent me in my last year there. It was fun, and I met a lot of people, many of whom were "aspiring" somethings--actors, directors, singers. And that phrase always bothered me. After all, if you were DOING, then you were no longer aspiring. The title itself seems to suggest someone who isn't doing anything at all.

Therefore, if you write, you are a writer. You may not be a professional writer or a bestselling writer or even a prolific or talented writer, but you are a writer nonetheless. If you just think about writing, talk about writing, then you are an aspiring writer.

And therein lies the rub, for me at least.

It is so easy to talk about myself as a writer, but it is becoming increasingly more difficult to actually find the time and the energy to do it. That should be evident from the frightening length of time that I have let go between blog entries. Like most writers I know, I have to deal with the real world. I love the idea of sitting at my desk at home for uninterrupted stretches of time so that I can really explore my ideas while the money flows in. But that is not most writer's reality. I have a full-time job, a house to clean, dinners to cook, grocery shopping and laundry to catch up on, and a husband and a ten-week-old son to take care of. Sure, the ideas are flowing, but I'm lucky if I can find the scrap paper to jot them down on (forget actually remembering where I put the piece of paper with the "brilliant" idea on it). When can I find the time to write? (Even now, I am writing this because I am at the mechanics getting my car fixed while the baby is with his grandmother for the afternoon).

I love to write--I just have to make it work. I write this now not as a complaint, but as a kind of manifesto, a reminder to myself that if I want to be a writer, I have to write. Period.

So, to all those other writers out there, I am fighting with you. Here is a reminder to not be aspiring writers. Aspire to make that novel a bestselling one. Aspire to be more talented, more prolific, more widely read. But don't aspire to write. Just write. Write when you get that free moment while waiting for your car's air-conditioner to be fixed. Write at four a.m. just after you put your son down after his feeding. Write in those stolen moments as well as the planned ones. Just write.

Because that is what writers do.

The Hour Is Almost Here...

2011-10-26T16:01:00.000-05:00

And, no, I don't mean Halloween (though I am also counting the hours to that favorite holiday).

It's almost time for NaNoWriMo!

Last year, I followed the progress of all those writers participating in National Novel Writing Month with a little trepidation and jealousy--kind of like a kid who stands on the edge of the playground watching the other kids but is too shy to join in on all the games.

This year, though, I am going to jump right in. For those who don't know, the goal is to write 50,000 words in the month of November. The project should be a new novel (nothing previously worked on), and it doesn't have to end at 50,000 words. Many writers continue with their project after the end of the month.

It's quite an undertaking, to be sure, but I think it is reachable. I wrote my first novel by setting a 2,000 word a day goal for myself, which seems close to what NaNoWriMo expects.

The goal of NaNoWriMo seems to go beyond the word count, though. The true goal just seems to be about getting serious about writing--to make it a habit, to develop a work ethic. But to have fun with it at the same time--to joyfully jump into writing without stressing over what makes a perfect sentence or the "just right" word. It's also about joining a community of writers, people who share my love for language, for writing, but who also share my phobias and fears about tackling "the great novel."

NaNoWriMo, above all, is about stopping the talk of "I'll write a novel...one day" and actually doing it.

And with that in mind....here I go!

Do I Need a Defense?

2011-09-29T16:38:00.000-05:00

It feels good to finally be back on here again. I am appalled to see how long it's been since I last wrote a post. I blame a lot of things: a trip to Prague, a new job (full-time writing and editing!), and a baby that has decided to become a parasite in my body. Mostly, though, I think I have just been procrastinating, which isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes writing can benefit from a little break. I've finally been able to work out the sticky parts in my second novel. (My first novel is going well, by the way. I'm getting favorable responses from literary agents. Fingers crossed!)

But this is not my main point in this post.

I've noticed a trend in conversations lately. When I meet someone new, he or she always is curious to know a little about me (which is natural, I guess, in the "getting to know you" of new friendships). Talk will inevitably turn to my writing or what I like to do in my spare time, which then leads to my love of the horror genre.

Now, don't get me wrong. I like to talk horror with people. And I love to discuss the genre in a rather nerdy way (I blame too many years in grad school for that one). As a side note, for anyone looking for a good book on the subject, I highly recommend Jason Zinoman's Shock Value. I just finished it and can't say enough good things on the book. It deals with the rise of the horror movie in the 1970's. Great Stuff. I am also in the middle of reading (finally) Stephen King's Danse Macabre.

But this isn't the kind of thing most people want to talk about when they talk "horror" with me. No, they want to know why I like horror. I guess people don't expect a petite (and currently pregnant) blonde to like horror. What I should like...I don't know. Or what a "horror fan" should look like...that confuses me too. Whatever it is, I'm not it.

So, they want to know why I like it.

I used to give all sorts of reasons why I watched, ranging from the more academic ("horror tells us about our society" and "it allows us a safe place to experience our fears and anxieties") to the less so ("I enjoy movies with buckets of fake blood"). Now, though, I'm wondering if that is even needed.

After all, no one ever asks for a defense when someone professes a love for romantic comedies or comic-book movies ("Really? You watch romantic comedies? You don't look like that kind of person? Why? Have you liked them since you were a child?" It's a ridiculous thought). No one who likes comedic films ever has to defend his or her tastes (although I would point out that many comedies have more violence than a lot of horror movies I've watched--and horror movies generally have a good dose of funny to them too--but that's another post for another day).

Why, then, do I have to offer a reasoning behind my obsession?

I don't think I owe that to anyone. Next time someone asks me why I like horror, I'll just shrug and say, "Because I do."

And that's all the defense I need.

Easter Horror Finds

2011-04-24T19:22:00.000-05:00

Today, I was feeling nostalgic for my childhood. You know, all the chocolate bunnies and marshmallow eggs (and the newly discovered chocolate covered Peep...heaven), egg hunts, and my little sister bawling her eyes out every time my mother tried to get her to sit on the Easter Bunny's knee for pictures. Honestly, who can blame her? A giant bunny is a scary thing...and why does he always have giant teeth? The two buck teeth may be cute, or the better to eat the children with...

Of course, I thought I couldn't be alone in finding some of the more secular Easter imagery more than a little creepy. As it turns out, there are several horror movies with the Easter season theme. Here are my picks:

1) The Critters movies

This movie series did for Easter what Gremlins did for Christmas. I love how the sequel openly attacks the bunny. Like I said, I can't be the only one who found the giant rabbit creepy...

2) Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Okay, this is not a horror movie nor is it explicitly Easter themed (except for the, you know, Holy Grail part), but this might explain where my fear of the Easter bunny came from.

3) Donnie Darko

Again, not exactly horror, but this scene still freaks me out. Scariest bunny I have ever seen in a movie, hands down!

4) The Wicker Man

This film (the 1973 original, not the Nicolas Cage remake) is still to this day one of my favorite horror movies. It actually lends itself very nicely to the pagan roots of Easter, especially the celebration of Spring. Creepy, creepy stuff.

5) The Night of the Lepus

I've never actually seen this film, but it is on my list to watch now. Come on, rabbits turned killers? I love movies where mother nature fights back. Makes me all teary eyed for the first time I saw that tree scene in The Evil Dead. Ahh, memories...

Happy Easter egg hunting everyone!

Oh, and if you see me around, congratulate me on running my first 5K! Yay, me!!

John 3:16

Insidious; Or, R-Rating Manifesto, Part 2

2011-04-14T16:37:00.001-05:00

This entry almost wasn't. For one thing, it is a bit contrary to my last entry, in which I expressed my reservations in watching Insidious, a PG-13 horror movie. Also, I just couldn't find the words. However, after talking to a friend of mine today (love you, Jordan, but we have to disagree here), I felt I had to defend this film.

The film in question is Insidious, James Wan's latest stab at the horror flick.

I railed against PG-13 horror movies, yet I still was first in line to see this movie on opening night. And, no, I still haven't changed my stance on the rating system. I even have one more point to make: There are no giggly thirteen year old boys and girls taking up the theater! I was easily the oldest person in the room, next to my father, who was kind enough to take me out for the evening. Everyone else was clearly in middle school, probably have been dropped off by his or her parents to meet friends for a night out. Needless to say, the evening was filled with talking and laughing and screams at odd places, all punctuated by the glow of several tens of cell phones being flipped open during the show. Thanks, by the way, to Memphis Malco for sending ushers in to quiet everyone down; otherwise, the movie would have been miserable. After the ushers coming in a few times with stern warnings, the movie theater was nice and quiet.

But, I was going to say, before Truth broke in with all her loud children (can you tell I've been teaching Frost this week?)

Wan hit it out of the park with Insidious. From the previews, I was expecting the run-of-the-mill paranormal movie, which would have been great for me, but what I got was so much better. From the opening credits, with the oversized lettering and screeching, dissonant music, I knew I was in for a much different experience. Insidious is made by people who love horror movies, who both take the genre seriously and have fun with it. It reminded me at times those in-your-face horror movies of the late 60's and early 70's, films like The Legend of Hell House, which involved another group of people battling the supernatural (seances and nerdy scientists included), or even the earlier films of someone like William Castle, who took out life insurance policies through Lloyd's of London for audience members concerned about seeing his movie Macabre. Those are the kind of films that enjoy the genre, even exploit it. Those are the kinds of films that have fun with genre, and as a result, the audience have fun too.

More than that, though, Wan manages to take the horror genre seriously at the same time. I loved the concept of "The Further," and while many critics might say that the last act of the film seems to be a poor fit for the rest of the plot, I disagree. Any writer or director who takes on horror needs to address the Other, the idea that there is something beyond our physical realm. After all, how can you accept ghosts, or vampires, or even things that go bump in the dark without exploring their realm? H. P. Lovecraft did this. Stephen King had done this. All masters of horror have achieved that "master" status because they were willing to explore their own version of "The Further."

Is this movie perfect? No. It has its rough spots, but it was also everything I wanted in a good, enjoyable horror movie. I'll be watching Wan to see what he comes up with next.

The R-Rating: A Manifesto

2011-03-26T22:02:00.000-05:00

It’s been awhile since I’ve been really excited about a movie. You know, what I mean. The kind of movie that you count down the days until opening day. The kind of movie that you will happily pay the nearly ten bucks it takes to see a first-run movie instead of waiting for Netflix to make it available. The kind of movie that is a pure fun, popcorn and candy movie. When I first saw the trailer for the new film Insidious, I was excited. I immediately told my husband to pencil April 1 into his calendar because we would be going to see that movie opening night.

Then, I noticed the film was rated PG-13, and I know I shouldn’t let something that small affect how I rate my movie-going experience, but it did. That kid on Christmas morning excitement that I had felt just moments before had completely dissipated.

Here’s the thing.

I don’t believe in the PG-13 horror movie.

I want to, I really do. It’s not that all PG-13 horror flicks are inherently bad. In fact, there have been a few notable exceptions within the past year. Both Devil and The Last Exorcism were rated PG-13, and both were incredible films. Both films also were attached to master filmmakers, M. Night Shyamalan and Eli Roth, respectively. Here’s the thing, though. Both films had great scripts and great actors, too often a rarity when it comes to the horror film. Some might even argue that these two films don’t even belong in the horror genre—that they are more of character analysis—even a social commentary—with a strong horror element.

For a PG-13 horror movie to really be excellent, it has to rely on spot-on storytelling because it can’t rely on the gore factor. It has to play with your mind and really pull you into the world it’s created. And, even more difficult, the PG-13 horror movie has to make you jump in your seat without actually showing you what is behind the curtain. Not an easy task.

More often than not, when I see a film that is billed as being “horror” yet is rated PG-13, I assume two things: 1) I won’t get to see any of the blood, and 2) the characters are going to be talking in a squeaky clean vernacular. In other words, no guts, no glory.

I’ve heard people argue for the other side, spouting the praises of the PG-13 horror movie, saying that it forces the filmmaker to rely on more sophisticated scares rather than buckets of fake blood and goo. It’s a good theory. After all, I’m all for sophisticated scares. I love it when the filmmakers take the genre seriously, but I also love it when they have fun with the genre. I can see the merits of both Audition and Pirahna 3D (both rated R, by the way), but I don’t think that an R rating equals lazy storytelling. Don’t believe me? Paranormal Activity, a movie that showed nothing in terms of graphic violence, was rated R for language. It managed sophisticated scares and a realistic setting (because what other twenty-something wouldn’t pepper a little R-rated language into his or her day-to day existence? Don’t even get me started about the characters in most PG-13 horror films, who all talk like they grew up watching too many Dawson’s Creek reruns).

What does bother me is the way most PG-13 movies handle their storytelling. Too often, it feels as if these films want to be proper horror movies but are too afraid to cross the border into the dark. Case in point: this year’s Twilight, er, I mean Red Riding Hood. Believe it or not, this film is listed as in the horror genre by IMDB. I, too, was under the assumption, after watching the trailers, that this would be a horror film that went back to the roots of the familiar fairy tale. I was wrong. What I wanted was the original fairy tale in all its Grimm Brother’s glory. What I got was pretty people in a pretty place with a drop or two of bright red blood. (By the way, isn’t blood supposed to be dark red, almost black? Only Argento can get away with the day-glo stuff.)

Maybe it’s just me. But I want an R rating with my horror. I’ll even say I wish they’d bring back the X rating (or is it NC-17 now?), but just give me a film I can sink my teeth into. Is that so much to ask?

Good Reads!!!

2011-03-10T11:01:00.000-06:00

Allow me to do some shameless plugging...

This is a friend of mine. He is a fantastic writer and a even more fantastic person. His first book Controlled Accident debuted not too long ago. I haven't finished it yet, but from the reviews I've heard, it is an enjoyable read, though maybe a bit slow to start.

Kane's second book, Psychic Steampunk Parade, just released.

I haven't gotten this one yet, but it is on my planned reading list (just as soon as I finish that monster of a book Under the Dome from Stephen King). From what the author has told me, this book is just purely for fun, which, if I know Gray Kane, means it is going to be bat shit crazy in the best of ways! And I love steampunk, so this is really the best of both worlds.

Both novels are available for download on Amazon Kindle, but for those of you out there who are money misers, Kane has made his second book a free download at Smashwords!

Free books...what's better than that?

A Little Bragging and A Lot of Doubt

2011-03-03T16:44:00.000-06:00

Please allow for a little shameless plug:

New story up on Horror Bound Online Magazine!!

Now on to the real business.

I'm beginning to realize an entirely new anxiety when it comes to my writing. I recently began shopping my novel around to different publishers. I thought it would be a huge relief, a weight off my shoulders. And I guess to some extent it was. I certainly felt a sense of accomplishment. What surprised me was the nervousness. I felt like a mom sending her baby out into the big, bad world. I understand the worry Dr. Frankenstein felt when he unleashed his monster.

I begin to worry if I wrote enough, if I rewrote enough, if I edited enough.

In the end, I know I can't allow myself to worry. After all, people will think what they will about my writing. Some will love me; some will hate me.

I just need to grow a thicker skin.

And now I play the waiting game. Crossing my fingers that the novel will find a new home soon. :)

Until then, novel number two will get its start, and with it, the writing process comes full circle. It's hard to worry about the last one when beginning an entirely new love affair with a new plot, new characters....ahh, my heart races just to think of it!

For All You Bleeding Hearts Out There...

2011-02-14T17:20:00.000-06:00

You knew I wouldn't let you down.

Not today of all days.

People giving their hearts to one another; everyone decked out in the color of blood...I can't think of any holiday with imagery as gory as Valentine's Day.

Here's a few films to help you remember the true meaning of the holiday:

Valentine (2001), starring David Boreanaz and Denise Richards

I only wish this movie had been half as creepy as the trailer. It's pretty much your typical, glossy, Scream wannabe, PG13 horror film. Not horrible, but completely forgettable.

I much prefer...

My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009), starring Jensen Ackles (need I say more?)

I loved almost everything about this remake...and not just Mr. Ackles (sigh). One of the few times I've liked the remake more than the original. This movie was just pure fun. It didn't take itself too seriously. It had the perfect mix of humor and horror. It made good use of fake blood and cheap scares. The 3D aspect just amplified the enjoyment. A popcorn flick at its very best.

Here's the original, in case you missed it:

This was the trailer from the original 1981 movie. Honestly, this is just one of the many horror movies that followed the formula set by Friday the 13th (1980). Still, not a bad movie to watch if you're in the mood for that sort of thing.

Maybe zombies are more your thing?

How about zombies in love? Be still my not-beating heart...

Boy Eats Girl (2005)

I actually saw this one on television recently...on SyFy, I think? Or Chiller? Decent film, but if you really want quality horror, read on...

Roman (2006), starring Lucky McKee and Kristen Bell (Dir. Angela Bettis, Written by Lucky McKee)

This film snuck up on me. Yes, on one level it is a great horror film: boy meets girl, boy obsesses over girl, boy kills girl and keeps her body around in his apartment.

But on another level, I don't even feel comfortable calling it "horror." As with most of what McKee and Bettis do, there is something hauntingly and painfully human about this film. Every character has a place in my heart. I feel for them in a way that I don't usually when I watch horror films. The film stuck with me. I've watched it many times, and I still find new things about it that I like. Just watch it.

Feeling warm and fuzzy yet?

May (2002), starring Angela Bettis, Jeremy Sisto, and Anna Farris (Dir./Writer Lucky McKee)

It's really the universal story, isn't it? After all, we are all just searching for our "perfect mate"? Isn't that what Valentine's Day is really about?

Believe it or not, there were too many Valentine's Day horror movies to list here. I guess there is just something about this holiday that brings out the inner psycho in all of us. Only one question now...

What will hubby and I watch tonight to celebrate?

A New Dictionary for a New Year

2011-02-04T12:06:00.000-06:00

Now that we are fully into 2011, I thought I would comment on our ever-changing lexicon. After many years acting as a writer, editor, and teacher, I have witnessed many funny misuses of our English language. NOTE: Some words have been altered to protect the guilty. Here's a few for your viewing pleasure:

Conjusted (word attempted was congested): the justice we feel when our coworkers, who so smugly said that they never get the flu because they take the flu shot/vitamin C/zinc, come down with a head cold, complete with red nose, watery eyes, hacking cough, and overall feeling of "blah." We don't want to say "I told you so," but...

Spermatic (word attempted was sporadic): the ATM at the sperm bank. Now with no fees for early withdrawal!

Presindents (word attempted was presents): the gift that keeps on giving. Every election year, all the good boys and girls wait for St. Nick to leave them shiny new Nixons and Clintons under the tree.

Absorptions (word attempted was abortions): people are currently marching for sponge rights as we speak.

Neuter and Spay (in this case the right word was used, but the meaning was confused for nurture and spray): This month is "Spay and Neuter Your Animal Month." Remember, be kind to your animal. You should neuter your dog or cat every day. They need your love! And spay at least twice a month. More often is your pet is prone to getting dirty. A clean animal is a healthy animal!

Yes, spelling can be a challenge. But never fear! Your spelling can be improved with punctuation. When in doubt, sprinkle in a few commas or apostrophes for good measure.

Weath'er (word attempted was weather): the technical term for an interrupted weather pattern. Used most often during days with scattered rain showers.

Room'mate (word attempted was roommate): when you want to ensure your flatmate is from Down Under.

Petal,stool (word attempted was pedestal): because sometimes honoring someone isn't enough. In those times, you need to find a chair shaped like a flower.

Heehee. I really can't stop laughing at that last one.

DISCLAIMER: These were (mostly) real errors, though none of them came from my student essays (so all my students can breathe a sigh of relief).

There Is No "Aspiring" Here

2011-01-18T09:06:00.000-06:00

I don't know what has gotten into me lately. I don't know if it has been the New Year, what with all the resolutions floating around out there, or the fact that I *officially* entered into adulthood (which I measure by leaving my 20's for that oh-so-grown-up world of my 30's), but recently I have been really productive. My career has seemed more important to me now more than ever. Don't get me wrong; it's a good space to inhabit, but it is new for me. I used to treat writing as something I enjoyed doing; I ranked it right next to watching B-rated horror flicks and eating burgers and fries.

Something has flipped in my head and now work is something I have to do (not as in a tedious chore, but if I don't write on I daily basis, then I begin to feel "off"). It's something I'm passionate about. Something I love.

Something I take seriously.

My change in attitude, I suspect, comes mainly from finishing my first novel. Even now, as I write this, it sits next to me, a tall stack of gleaming white pages neatly placed into a cardboard box. It's ready to send out, all decked out for the debutante ball.

But am I ready for the publishing circus? Sure, I'm used to sending short stories out. I'm used to the seemingly endless revolving door of magazine editors, journal editorial staff, rejection letters, notices of shortlisting...

The novel, though? It seems like entirely new territory. Like everything else in my life, I've made a plan:

1) I've made a list all the potentials: agents, publishers, even contests. Anything I can do to get my name and my novel out there.

2) I've ranked the publishers. I am using the strategy of contacting the top ones first. My idea is that if I can get a large press behind me, then that must be better than a smaller press. I know there are advantages to the small press, but I think a bigger press may be the way to go.

3) I've researched my contests. I'm looking for those with good reputations and small (if any) entry fees. Any win or nomination will help with publicity. And, of course, those cash prizes couldn't hurt.

4) I've polished (and polished and polished) my novel and my cover letter. Let's hope it's enough to get mine out of the slush pile and into an editor's hands. *fingers crossed*

5) I actually got this tip from the Horror Writer's Association (http://www.horror.org/writetips.htm): Be a professional in the field. That means acting like a writer. Not an aspiring writer. Not a writer/teacher or writer/mother or writer/anything else. Just a writer. I think this means how you present yourself to the world. I think it also means making yourself active in the field. I do plan to join some associations, attend some conferences, meet some people...all in the name of establishing myself as a horror writer.

And I am a horror writer. No aspiring here.

New Year, New Obsessions

2011-01-13T08:50:00.001-06:00

So far, 2011 is going great! I have a draft of my first novel finished. I am almost done with revisions, so I should be sending it out for the publication circus by the end of the month. I just started the second novel, along with a few short stories that I am excited about. Life is good!

Life is also busy.

Of course, does a busy life equal all hard work? NO! It means more time wasted on the internet!

A good friend of mine sent me a link to a website that I am currently obsessed with. If you've ever read this blog with any regularity, you know that I love horror movies of all kinds (the good ones, the really good ones, the bad ones, the so-bad-they're-good ones), and I spend a good posting some of my favorites on here.

Then, I saw this blog:

http://horror-movie-a-day.blogspot.com/

It's everything I wish my blog was! A new horror movie every day? Be still my heart...I'm in love. **Sigh**

Enjoy!

New Year's Resolution for 2011

2011-01-07T15:56:00.000-06:00

I must admit that I've never really been one to set resolutions for myself at the beginning of each year. It has always felt like I was setting myself up for failure. I think I heard somewhere that almost half of people who set New Year's resolutions break them within a week.

A WEEK!

Now, that is depressing. Why would I set out to disappoint myself? I do, however, believe in setting goals. I am the type of person who is both competitive (though, mostly with myself and not other people) and an immense slacker. I will procrastinate something I need to do forever...unless I have a deadline to meet. If I set myself a deadline, no matter how arbitrary, I will race to get everything done before that time comes.

Take my writing as an example. If I haven't written anything in a while, then I might set myself a goal of finishing a new story every two weeks. With the flash fictions, I have sat down and said, "You have two hours to get out a 500-word story." This has worked for me, probably because I hate to fail. I'm a perfectionist to my core. If I set out to do something, I do it, or else I feel like crap, the fear and loathing sets in...I'm sure all the other perfectionists out there know the feeling.

Last year, my goal was to finish my first novel. I right now have a completed draft. All it needs is some polishing; then, I hope to send it out by the end of January. Another goal I'm racing towards.

So, what is in store for 2011?

Sure, I've made my usual goals. Exercise is a perennial favorite of mine. I plan to run (jog?) my first 5K by May. I want to travel more. Prague should be in the cards for this summer.

And, of course, I want to write more. Last year, I tried to stick to a 1000-word goal for every day. This year, I want to aim for 1500-2000 a day. Sleep may not be on the "goal" list of 2011...

My most important goal is to make 2011 the year of being fearless.

I've spent so much time in my life being afraid. Afraid of failure. Afraid of what people might think of me. Afraid of what might happen if I do succeed. Sounds crazy I know, but last year I got a little taste of what it felt like to be fearless. Here's what I learned:

1. Fear will only stall you. I didn't write some things for fear of what people might think of me. I was afraid they would think I was weird or strange. That's a real danger when you write in the horror genre. You spill enough blood and guts on the page and people begin to look at you like you something may not be all okay with you. That happened to me. People have called me "sick" and "interesting" (said with a frightened, deer-in-the-headlights look in their eyes). Yes, some people may not like what I write, but that's okay. I've survived their criticisms, but for every person who thinks my writing is odd, there is a whole group of people who love what I write. If I worried about everyone who didn't like my fiction, then nothing would ever get written.

2. Failure is not an evil word. I almost trashed a short story that I had written. In a moment of self-doubt, I didn't want to send out a story that I feared people wouldn't "get." It was my first attempt at humor in the horror genre, and I was convinced that I wasn't a funny person. My husband convinced me it was a great story. I sucked it up and sent the story out. It was short-listed on its second time out! I am still waiting to hear if it will get published, but even if it doesn't, that is okay. People like the story, and I know that it will get picked up in one market or another.

3. Criticisms are meant to helpful, not hurtful. I used to worry if someone would say something negative about my work, so much so that I would shut down if they criticized my fiction. Now, I've learned to push down the feelings of inadequacy and really open my ears to what my readers are saying. Usually, they help me to make my writing better.

4. Writing is hard work. This was a big one for me to learn last year. I wanted anything I wrote to "flow easily" and to be perfect the first time. I was not prepared to work long hours at the computer, going over and over the same story until it was polished. I thought to be talented you had to be perfect the first time, but I've since learned that no one is. Writing is in the rewriting. Most first drafts are horrendous. That's why we revise and polish. That is also why we sometimes trash ideas completely when they don't work. It doesn't mean I am untalented nor a failure. It means I am a writer.

5. Instinct is a gift; listen to it! I actually stole this one from Felicia Day's blog (http://feliciaday.com/blog). She is someone I admire immensely. She basically said that improv acting taught her to listen to her gut instinct and not what others might say nor what "logic" might dictate. I realized as I read her words that I am guilty of listening more to that fear voice in my head (the one that says everyone will laugh or that I might fail) rather than listening to my gut, which is usually right. It might mean taking a leap of faith, even if I am scared, but the payoff will be worth it in the end.

So, no resolutions here. Just one goal: be fearless.

If I ever doubt myself, I just have to look at that novel I wrote that is sitting on my desk. Even if it never gets published, I did that. I ignored my fear voice and wrote a novel. My gut tells me I'll see it in a bookstore one day. Until then, I can only keep writing.

I hope all of you will keep writing too. Or painting. Or singing. Or playing the mandolin. Whatever it is that you want to do. Just remember to be fearless.

Kiss Me At Midnight....

2010-12-31T21:27:00.001-06:00

Merry Christmas To All...

2010-12-25T01:00:00.026-06:00

...and to all a good (and gruesome) night!

Oh, how I do love themed-horror movies, particularly when it is Christmastime.

My last post gave you numbers 10-6 of my list of favorite Christmas horror movies. Here are the top five:

5. Thomas Kinkade's Christmas Cottage

Thomas Kinkade, the painter of light! Oh, the horror, the horror! Oh, that red scarf that Jared Padalecki wears around his neck! I must cover my eyes! ( Don't worry, Jared Padalecki, we will still watch you on Supernatural; just don't submit us to this again).

Ok, this isn't really horror, but I had to include it. A random killer hacking his way through this movie might be an improvement.
4. Silent Night, Bloody Night (1974)

Because where else would you be on Christmas Eve other than a mansion turned mental asylum?

3. Christmas Evil

This film is really a cautionary tale for all would-be parents who are thinking of lying to their children about Santa. I mean, really, who thought telling children that Santa is real was a good idea? Who thought the little ones wouldn't be scarred when they realized it was just Dad dressed up in a fake beard and red suit?

2. P2

I almost didn't include this movie, but I did find it creepy. It was suspenseful at moments, and just a good, overall film, especially when you consider it is really just a cast of two actors in one location (a parking garage). The Christmas Eve setting is almost secondary, but it is necessary to the plot. After all, how else could you explain an empty office building? Plus, the dinner scene between the kidnapper and his captive woman is just eerie. The Christmas decorations, the food, the music all just added to the atmosphere. Overall, an enjoyable movie.

1. Elves [VHS] (1989)

I have to admit I've never seen this movie; I've never even heard of this movie. But it looks AWESOME! A Nazi experiment gone wrong! Murderous elves! Grizzly Adams! What more could you ask for in a Christmas horror film?

And so concludes my list of holiday horror. There were many, many more I could've included, but that would have messed up my nice and tidy list of ten (plus, I need to leave a few for next year).

Seriously, though, I hope you enjoyed this list as much as I did. And I hope you are enjoying your holiday season.

Luke 2:14: "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."

It's Christmas Eve and You Know What That Means...

2010-12-24T01:16:00.063-06:00

lTHE CHRISTMAS HORROR MOVIE LIST!!!

Or at least Part I, anyway.

So, dust off your Santa hat, hang your stockings (by the chimney with care, of course), and snuggle in with some hot cocoa...

I've already given you a little sneak peak of the first three in previous entries:

10. Gremlins

9. Jack Frost

8. Black Christmas (1974)

NOTE: I know they remade Black Christmas a few years ago, but as much as I love Buffy's Michelle Trachtenberg, I still like to watch the original. I mean, it is absolutely classic 1970's horror. The villain gets absolutely no back story. The plot consists of only a madman killing young women at Christmas. Throw in a little of that day-glo red blood and some well-placed moans and groans (mostly from the killer) and you've got a fun, popcorn horror flick that is bad in the very best way possible.

7. Don't Open 'Til Christmas (1984)

Teehee...this movie trailer makes me giggle. Doesn't it just look like such a Grindhouse movie that it almost doesn't even look real?
It's almost as if it is a parody of itself, but it isn't! I cannot even tell you what I love most. Maybe it's the premise: a serial killer who only kills Santas. Hmmmm....have we found a precursor to our favorite specialized serial killer, Dexter? Or maybe it's the random, glittery Disco music in the middle of all the mayhem. I don't know, but I like it.

6. Silent Night, Deadly Night

Here's another goodie courtesy of the 1980's. This one is from 1984 too...that Christmas must have been horrific. I love the title, a lovely take on a classic carol. And those animatronic elves are enough to give anyone nightmares. The trailer itself isn't the best, but I absolutely love the film's taglines. Here are a few from IMDB:
You've made it through Halloween, now try and survive Christmas

Santa's Here!

He knows when you've been naughty

Shocking... disturbing... The movie they tried to ban.

If "A Nightmare on Elm Street" gave you sleepless nights, or if "Halloween" made you jump in every shadow or if every "Friday the 13th" was more frightening that the others... THEN BEWARE!

That's right...beware the holiday-themed horror movie!!

These should be enough to get you through the night. Check back tomorrow for the continuation of the list! Oh, and watch out for fat men trying to sneak into your house tonight. Santa is not always so jolly...

See you tomorrow!

Can Corey Feldman Save Christmas?

2010-12-19T17:55:00.001-06:00

Never let them eat after midnight!

Heehee... I had to include this in my favorite films of the Christmas season. I don't know if it is truly "horror," but it scared the living daylights out of me as a child. It really does not get much better than this. Gizmo, Pheobe Cates, Corey Feldman...need I say more?

Not only is the movie set during Christmas, it also serves as a cautionary tale for all would be Santas out there.

Don't remember what I'm talking about? Allow me to refresh your memory...

A few things a love about that scene:

1) Pretty sure that's an urban legend I've heard before

2) Gizmo shows more emotion than the boyfriend

3) The "subtlety" of the word Christmas shown in shadow along the back wall

Hope y'all are getting ready for Christmas...only a few more days for my full list of Christmas horror flicks. Coming Christmas Eve...

Another One to Put in Your Stocking...

2010-12-13T20:50:00.001-06:00

Remember Shannon Elizabeth from American Pie? This was one of her early films.

And let me tell you...it is brilliant.

Ok, so the makers of this film do bill it as a horror/comedy. I guess I can give them some credit for not taking this movie so seriously, but...come on, really? A snowman? I get that dolls can be creepy. I definitely understand the ick factor of the clown. But a snowman?

I guess I just never understood the terror of something that could be defeated by a sunny day.

Oh, well. This is still enjoyable as an incredibly bad holiday horror movie.

What's even funnier is that it looks like they used the same snowman from that Michael Keaton movie of the same name. You know, the one where the father dies and he comes back as a snowman to help his family? I ask you...why wasn't that a horror movie plot?

But I'm getting off topic. Back to this Jack Frost.

If you want more, I dare you to go to YouTube and look up the bathtub scene from this movie. It does for bubble baths what The Evil Dead did for trees.

Enjoy!!

Oh, and a full list of Christmas-themed horror flicks to come...

Black Christmas (1974) Full Trailer

2010-12-08T20:23:00.001-06:00

Well, kiddos, it's that time of year again.

Bright lights, shiny tinsel on the tree...or is that just the glint from the knife in the serial killer's hand? It is so hard to tell.

Keeping with what is quickly becoming a tradition, I am compiling a list of appropriately holiday-themed horror movies. This one is a personal favorite. I know they remade it a few years ago, but I still prefer the original 1974 version. In fact, I have been known to show Black Christmas and White Christmas back-to-back. I call it, wait for it, wait for it...

Gray Christmas!

Ok, maybe that title needs some work.

Speaking of work, I need to get back to mine. Enjoy this little taste of the blog entry that will come next week...the horror films of Christmas.

Season's Greetings...and watch out for those strange men looking to get into your house via the chimney. You never know which one has the gifts to fill your stocking and which one has the gore-streaked knife waiting to get you while you sleep. [Insert evil laugh here.]

Happy Holidays!

Is Technology Killing the Horror Movie?

2010-12-01T10:25:00.000-06:00

I have this theory (ok...not really mine...many, many people share this opinion) that for horror to be truly scary it needs a few key elements. The first and foremost is a feeling of claustrophobia--that is, the feeling that escape is not possible.

I've written about this before, but this though really struck me as I was revisiting a classic Stephen King tale, Cujo (25th Anniversary Edition). I haven't read the book or seen the movie in ages, so when AMC recently aired the film version, I sat down and watched. The story, while flawed, is still a pretty scary one, in my opinion. What really gets me, though, is the simplicity of the plot. It's only a mother and her son in a broken down car in the middle of nowhere. Add in a rabid dog (a St. Bernard, no less) stalking just outside, and the story becomes truly terrifying. It doesn't get much more claustrophobic. The pair cannot even leave their car for long, for fear of the dog; just trying to use the restroom takes equal parts careful planning and just dumb luck. The image of the mother, lying bleeding and nearly lifeless following the dog attack, and her son, screaming and half-naked in the back seat, is one that haunts my nightmares.

Then, something else occurred to me. This story could not happen today. The mother would have had a cellphone. The son probably would have had a cellphone. They could have called for help--the local police, an ambulance service, animal control, and probably a pizza delivery while they waited. Heck, the mother could have even used her smart phone to learn how to treat a dog bite and recognize the symptoms of a rabid dog. This same story set in 2003 or 2013--not 1983--would have been a short, boring tale.

Technology, it seems, is connecting the world, making us closer to everything and everyone, and destroying the horror genre as a result.

Sure, there have been brave writers and directors who have attempted to infuse their stories with modern technology, but none of them have really struck me as outstanding. Films like Shutter, Fear Dot Com, Pulse (Unrated Widescreen Edition), and One Missed Callcome to mind.

Instead, more writers are having to get creative with their settings, choosing to set their plots in places away from the reach of the wireless signal. For example, the underground cave, as in The Descent (Original Unrated Cut) [Widescreen Edition], or outer space, or even a post-apocalyptic world where technology has been rendered useless (The Walking Dead, Book 1 (Bk. 1) does this well) are all settings that the horror genre is now embracing.

When my father and I went to the movies to see the Let Me In (the recent remake of the 2009 Swedish film Let The Right One In), he only had one question as we left the theater. He couldn't understand why the film was set in the early 1980's.

Easy, I thought. No cellphones. No computers in the home. Complete isolation. If the kid had had a smart phone and a complete gaming system (with internet connection) at home, would he ever had met the little vampire girl? My thoughts...probably not.

Because Only a Day Spent with Family Could Inspire Such Violence...

2010-11-24T23:30:00.036-06:00

Okay, maybe that's a little overly dramatic. The truth is I really enjoy Thanksgiving. I like the whole "Norman Rockwell" feel to the day. I like the dinner with the entire family around the big table. I like the crisp Autumn air (although as I type this, it is a muggy 76° outside, but a girl can dream), and most of all, I love the food. Fried turkey (yes, I said fried...deep fried Cajun-style, actually), cornbread dressing, broccoli salad, pumpkin pie...wow, I'm making myself hungry now.

I also love the traditions of the horror movies that this holiday season inspires. Yes, there are Thanksgiving horror movies.

Everyone knows about Eli Roth's fake trailer in the film Grindhouse Presents, Death Proof - Extended and Unrated (Two-Disc Special Edition) (which I heard was to be made into a real movie...but who knows). Brilliant.

WARNING: The videos below include nudity, violence, and foul language. Cover the kiddo's eyes, please!

Though not as numerous as the other holiday horror movies (Christmas for some odd reason really brings out the murderous maniacs in horror films), there are a few real horror movies.

I give you ThanksKilling (2009)!

It is so awesomely bad that this year a second one was released. The tag line? He always comes back for seconds!

Need more? Why not try Thanxgiving (2006)?

Still hungry? Feeling nostalgic for the gritty feel of the 1970's horror film? BLOOD FREAK ~ TERA ANDERSON, DANA CULLIVAN, BOB CURRIER, AND DOLORES CURRIER 1972 is for you!

I really don't have anything to say about that one...except WOW. Okay, moving on.

Here's a few more:
Home Sweet Home (1981)

Children of the Corn (1984) Not really Thanksgiving, but corn can be just as creepy as turkey...

Icons of Horror Collection - Sam Katzman (The Giant Claw / Creature with the Atom Brain / Zombies of Mora Tau / The Werewolf) (1957) The monster in The Giant Claw will make you think twice about turkey.

BIRDEMIC - Shock and Terror (2008) Turkey-like vultures attack!

And finally a piece of pumpkin pie for dessert: The Pumpkin Karver (2006)

Enjoy your Thanksgiving! Remember what you're truly thankful for...and have fun!!

The Problem of "Us"

2010-11-21T14:04:00.002-06:00

Is anyone else excited about The Walking Dead tonight?

I, for one, cannot wait. The pilot episode did not disappoint, and while the second episode brought up many questions, at least for me, as to whether or not the series could maintain its original promise, last week's episode "Tell It To the Frogs" dispelled any doubts I may have had. Quite honestly, I thought it was brilliant.

One of the reasons I love horror in general is how the genre lends itself to the epic struggle of good versus evil. For example, vampires are usually bad. We know very clearly who the bad guys are and who the good guys are. Zombies tend to fit this pattern. After all, everyone knows the object of the zombie movie is to kill the zombies, no questions asked. It is this paradigm that allows for such entertainment that a movie like Zombieland (2009) can produce. We love to watch our hero bash in some zombie brains.

The Walking Dead follows this model well. One of the characters even comments that it is "us versus the dead." The problem, though, in Darabont's world is not the dead--it is the "us." Flannery O'Connor in her short story "A Good Man is Hard to Find" writes, using the voice of the Misfit, "She would have been a good woman [...] if it had been somebody there to shoot her every minute of her life," drawing upon the idea that in the face of death our humanity really shows through. The knowledge of our own mortality highlights the goodness in us, the true evil in us, and all those messy gray areas in between.

In The Walking Dead, as in life, the true horror is what we as humans are capable of doing to one another.

The third episode opens (and I promise if you're worried about spoilers, this is the only detail I give away) with Merle Dixon on the roof alone, handcuffed to a pipe after a recent scuffle. The image is a truly horrific one as we watch a man face his imminent death. Interestingly, similar to what the Misfit observes in the O'Connor story, Merle reaches out to Jesus, begging for help in between frantic and often angry outcries. The terror of the man's situation intensifies as the audience wrestles with the fact that another man put him in this situation, leaving him there to die. The chain and lock on the door only exemplify this problem: is it an act of kindness to keep the zombies out (a gruesome, painful, but quick death), or is it worse to let him slowly die of thirst and exposure? The characters themselves, like the audience, are not sure how to answer this question.

Maybe this is what I like about the show so far. It resists moralizing and preaching. The characters are not sure how to answer these tough questions. They struggle with defining morality just as we do. The past three episodes have already tackled difficult issues like race and gender, and the series has done so successfully thus far. Interestingly, religion has not been directly addressed, but it has been alluded to. The survivors have pondered over the ethics of their actions (looting the department store in Atlanta, for instance). In another subtle example, the van in the background of the survivor's campsite is a church van (Holy Cross Lutheran Church). Darabont has created a South that is, to borrow another of Flannery O'Connor's terms, "Christ-haunted." I have a feeling that this will be something the survivors will have to address at some point in the series. Are ideas like religion and faith still applicable in this post-apocalyptic world? What does it mean for ideas like heaven and hell if the dead are roaming the earth looking for their next meal? If ethics and morality are still important, then who determines right and wrong? And what happens when two people's ideas of right conflict?

I don't know how these questions will be answered, but I know I can't wait to tune in and see.

One Writer's Journey

2010-11-13T09:49:00.006-06:00

I have had moderate success in my writing since I began pursuing it as a career just over a year ago. I've always liked writing, and books are a true obsession for me. I graduated with my Ph.D. in English Literature in 2009 and have been looking for work since then. When (like many of my colleagues) I could only get part-time adjunct work, I decided to use my free time at home to really work on my fiction. Since then, I've gotten numerous flash pieces published (thanks, MicroHorror! http://microhorror.com/microhorror); I've also had great encouragement from publishers. Like many writers know, the rejection letter is inevitable. What I didn't know is that it can also be cruel and kind in various degrees. At first, I was only receiving the typical "Thanks, but no thanks" letters. These were short, sweet, form letters that usually arrived quickly. Then, I began to notice the letters getting longer and more flattering. I continued to work on my prose, polishing my fiction, and sent those stories out again and again--making sure to wear my armor for all those rejections I knew were coming.

One day, the letter was a personal one. The editor personally complimented my work! It was another rejection, but I did get a request to send more stories. I have found that these kinds of rejections are becoming more and more common, and I'm taking that as good news. It's a sign that my work is being enjoyed; I just have to find the right market.

I think every writer needs a little encouragement now and then. This is not the easiest of professions, especially with all of the denials. I have found a few tips that have worked in building my confidence as a writer, and I hope these will help you as well:

1. Don't stop writing! Keep those fingers constantly on a pen or a keyboard. I hear too many people saying they want to be writers and they are doing little to no actual writing.
2. Don't stop reading. Read anything and everything (and not just writers like yourself--read lots of genres). How else will you learn what good writing is? How will you know what bad writing is?
3. Know your craft. I have found several books on writing helpful. Stephen King's On Writing has been immensely helpful; he gives clear and practical advice.

Also, every writer needs a good grammar handbook. I have several, including Strunk and White's handbook, which King recommends.

Once you do have writing you are ready to send out into the world, The Writer's Market will be invaluable in telling you where to send your material, as well as useful tips on how to write a cover letter.

If it sounds like a lot of work, it is! At times, it can be difficult to continue writing, especially when you have little or no paycheck for what amounts to a full time job, but we don't do it for the money, or the fame, or the bragging rights. If you're anything like me, you do it for the sheer love of it. I cannot imagine doing anything else, which brings me to my last point.

4. Have fun!

A friend of mine (another writer) recommended the "I Write Like" website (http://iwl.me/). It allows you to submit portions of your work and the "analyzer" tells you who you write like. This is mine:

http://iwl.me/s/b3a26720

Too much fun! Another internet addiction in the making...

Cheers to all of you, and happy writing!

The Guild - Halloween Special

2010-11-11T21:04:00.001-06:00

I don't know if it's just me, but it seems like Christmas comes earlier every year. October barely ended before signs of Yuletide were popping up everywhere. Stores were taking down their black and orange Halloween decorations only to put up red tinsel and giant smiling snowmen (those ever-smiling snowmen somehow seem creepier to me than any zombie or vampire, but that's another subject entirely).

It feels premature. What happened to November? Thanksgiving? Since when did December 25 come directly after October 31. Not that I'm that attached to Thanksgiving. Aside from the food (my father makes a mean deep-fried Cajun turkey and my mother's stuffing is legendary), I could really care less about Thanksgiving. It always felt like a second-rate holiday anyway--just a reason to get off school/work. The thing that truly disturbs me is that Christmas might actually further encroach on the autumn season and endanger my favorite holiday: Halloween.

Maybe this is my one-woman stand against the marching army of Christmas, maybe it's my uncanny knack for wasting time on the internet, but I happened upon this video. I was late to The Guild--a friend recommended the show a few weeks ago. She warned me that it was addictive. I laughed off her warning. I could handle it, I assured her.

I was wrong.

In the course of just a few weeks, I have become the queen of procrastination. Why would I want to write when I could watch The Guild? After all, each episode is only a few minutes long (of course, like any delicious temptation, you can't have just one). I have now caught up with all four seasons, and in my yearning for more, I found this Halloween special.

So, here's to letting Halloween last just a little longer and keeping the Christmas music on mute for just a few more weeks. And here's to me getting back to my writing...

Frank Darabont’s The Walking Dead

2010-11-01T21:16:00.000-05:00

The much anticipated television series The Walking Dead premiered on AMC last night. I know I was like a little kid at Christmas, practically giddy as I waited for the show to start. And it did not disappoint. While the pilot had its weaknesses (some overacting, a bad Southern accent or two, a few trite plot devices), I must say I am hooked. The special effects are absolutely amazing. Quite frankly, I found myself shocked more than once. I don’t know when I last saw zombies that looked that good (or that bad, as the case may be). The makeup effects were better than most big-budget movies. And bloodier. Much bloodier. There were more than a few times that, squealing through fingers half covering my eyes, I exclaimed, “They can’t show that on television!”

Well, they can and they did. And I for one am ecstatic.

I will be tuning in again—and not just for the gore, though that will be a guarantee for future episodes, I am sure.

What really struck me was the humanity that the show itself has been built upon. The show appears to be written as more of a character study than pure survival zombie apocalypse story. At times, this seemed forced: the mother zombie causing her still-living son to burst into sobs. At other times, the humanity was gut-wrenching. One particularly difficult scene to watch was when Rick Grimes (played by Andrew Lincoln) sees a zombie woman crawling on the ground and decides to kill her out of mercy. The woman was in an advanced state of decay (missing a good part of her face, her legs reduced to fleshless bone), and it was the visual that first stopped me. I found the image profoundly disturbing. Zombies from recent films have seemed much more cartoonish—fast moving, strong—certainly not like this woman, who reflected the true horror of death. It is this, the idea of death, that makes zombies a lasting trope in movies and literature. As a culture, we are both fascinated and disturbed by the idea of death—dying, what happens after death, the possibility of everlasting life.

Perhaps my viewing of the show last night was colored a bit by a recent suicide in my community. The death shocked everyone, leaving more questions than answers. I don’t always have the right thing to say, and certainly not in this situation, but I do know a few things that I feel compelled to share, particularly in light of the rash of suicides that I hear about every time I turn on the news: We are not alone in this world. God made us to love each other and to take care of each other. More than that, God is a loving God, who is in control, even when it seems like the world itself is spinning out of control.

Hebrews 13: 5-6: Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you. So we say with confidence, The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?

1 Corinthians 10:13: No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful, he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.