Frost Cave

Free Kindle Books!

2012-05-23T09:55:00.000-06:00

Greetings Heimer-Fans!

Everybody loves FREE! And two of my best author friends, Rachel Ann Nunes and Anita Stansfield, are offering FREE downloads of two of their books this Saturday, May 26th! For those who have Kindles or iPads with Kindle Apps, this is a wonderful way to start summer. Here are 2 title links:

A Bid For Love – a heart-stopping contemporary romantic suspense novel by Rachel Ann Nunes.
The Captain of Her Heart – an intensely romantic historical novel set in the Civil War period by Anita Stansfield.

In the meantime, here are some great deals on new releases and other products available on Amazon through my Frost Cave/Amazon store. Thanks a billion!


A new spellbinder from Kathi Oram Peterson!	Great New Thriller From A. L. Sowards!	Great New Talk CD From Hank Smith! read this!
Cold Justice Book Cold Justice Audio	Espionage Book Espionage Audio	I Love My Friends CD

One of my Favs! Jerry Borroman! DISCOVER HIM!	Fun New Adventure From Clair Poulson!	The Newest Release From Anita Stansfield!
Steamship to Zion Book	Switchback Book Switchback Audio	The Wishing Garden Book The Wishing Garden Audio

New LDS Historical Movie!	Intense New Adventure From Jean H. Mathews!	New Novel About a Leap of Faith and Change of Heart!
Redemption DVD	Purchase Here	Lucky Stars Book Lucky Stars Audio

Summer MEGASALE! Book Only $6.99!	Incredible Summer Sale Price!!! Only $9.99!!	Now a Favorite Cookbook in My Own Family!!!
Escape Novel Escape Audio	White House Comes Comes to Zion	365 Days of Slow Cooking

My best to you and yours this coming summer!!!!

Stay close to the Lord,
Chris Heimerdinger

Update and Muckwhip Exerpt

2012-05-17T14:19:00.000-06:00

Been a while. But that should be good news, right? Very busy.

Yeah, I know. Any mention of a project OTHER than Tennis Shoes Vol. 12: Thorns of Glory makes my fans go nuts. But Thorn of Glory is a MONSTER work (and hopefully my MASTERwork)! And I got bills. I have to publish something this summer. BE COMFORTED! Muckwhip's Guide to Capturing the Latter-day Soul was written more than a decade ago. I'm just polishing it off and prepping it, initially, for release as a Kindle download. Next as a hardcopy and audio. Yes, that does take time. But only minimal, and I remain committed to work on Vol. 12 everyday. The story in Thorns, by the way, is breathtaking (so far!). I'd love to reveal some of the more surprising twists, but then I'd have kill everyone. Which would be far too complex. Better just keep it all under wraps. I'm sure I'll discuss more of this in the near future.

Anyway, I always loved the Muckwhip project, but even a dozen years ago, my publisher turned a bit pale at the concept. A devil mentoring a novice devil on the best methods of destroying a Latter-day Saint??? REAL devils are no laughing matter. That's why I stick with fiction and symbolism, much in the same tradition as C.S. Lewis, Milton, and others. Thus, my collection of emails (I actually call them "h-mails") between these two twisted fiends is packed with satire and humor. Here's the opening of one h-mail:

Dear Frogknot,

I infer from your last communiqué that you are of the conviction that we are pathetically lacking in employment incentives. Therefore I am presently offering an all-expense paid vacation to Nott Berry Fun—Hell’s recently inaugurated amusement park, sort of a devil's answer to Disneyland. As of yet there are no attractions, but plenty of lines...

Times have hopefully changed in the last decade--or so I hope. The adversary's success abounds, sometimes to our mystification. And so the point of this project--as with ALL my projects---is to inspire, enlighten and entertain. If that's your sincere object, I believe the Spirit is always present. Here's a full h-mail:

From: Muckwhip the Unmerciful
To: frogknot the naif
Subject: trifecta

MY DEAR FROGKNOT,

I received your initial bi-weekly report, and I must say that your overuse of servile phrases like “extraordinary skillset,” “wicked wit,” and “lofty intelligence," in describing my attributes are little more than vain and opprobrious attempts at kissing up. It reminded me of the tail-waggings of an abused puppy. In short, I liked it very much.

As you have asked my opinion regarding “the most advantageous angles of attack” upon a Mormon teenager, I affably offer my standard threefold retort: social insecurity, the itch for independence, and boredom. Actually, these are formidable fronts for enfeebling any adolescent, but there are certain subtleties that will make them especially effective against your Target.

First, regarding social insecurity, are you aware that Mr. Hansen is an absolute sucker for public opinion? Like all youth, he swallows upwards of everything that he is ever told about himself—particularly by his peers. At this crossroads of his carefree life he is a salivating slave to fad, fashion, and female foppery. Oh, he may fancy himself an independent illuminato—and should ever be enthusiastically encouraged to see himself as such—but in actuality at no other period is he more paranoid of his actions or utterances. He cringes at the classification of being “uncool” (or its fashionable synonyms). This he will glibly deny, but we are not so gullible. Tragically oversensitive and effortlessly offended, he will adjust to virtually any variance in that oh-so-overblown quest to “belong.” Of course, some young subjects will seek refuge within their families to circumvent such tripe, but not your Target. Thanks to the contention we've long cultivated in that environment, his “home” is the last place he seeks to inhabit, and the setting wherein he feels the least security. Your object, therefore, is to entangle him in just the right cliques and introduce him to a host of unctuously sycophantic friends—i.e., allies for our cause—collaborators who can convince him that any practiced virtue is positively boring--moreover embarrasing. The Organization itself must be viewed as uncool, uncollected, and uncouth. Or in more incisive terms: prejudiced, parochial, and asphyxiating. It's leaders are imbeciles. It's programs propped in place to pester. Hypocrites are ubiquitous. If you can bait him to embrace even one of these perspectives, cinching your mission's objectives will be all the more elementary.

Better yet, such efforts neatly segue into his second vulnerability—the impulse for independence. Ah, but this is a fertile arena for fostering advantage! Your Target is predisposed to wean himself not only from the influence of parents, but from all adults. He believes he is an adult, with all the stature and status this label implies. Milk this to its maximum advantage. Let him believe it. Buttress it. Ennoble it. Let anyone who opposes his self-proclaimed post-pubescence find themselves highlighted at the apex of his black list. He must be persuaded to impugn or impeach every precept he’s ever swallowed. This, in and of itself, is not precisely our objective, because often the ideas he questions are his own quixotic conclusions and wobbly worldviews. No, no, these we must encase in concrete. Whenever a young Target internalizes hostility or disgruntlement about the circumstances wherein life has placed them, we are infinitely freer to entice him with our more infatuating philosophies.

Finally, exploit Mr. Hansen’s incurable tendency toward boredom. This is the ad nauseam lament of all teenagers. Oh, how they wail and whine! Throughout their mortal probation they have held fast the opinion that it was the inflexible obligation of others—parents, pedagogues, and every other pulchritudinous personality—to entertain them. From infancy they've sought out fresh and unique stimulations to keep them enthralled. Now in the bloom of adolescence your Target is starting to inquire, “Is this it? Is there nothing more to mortality? Just pain and complexity? Loneliness and laundry?” Your answer is resoundingly“yes!” A gazillion times “YES!” In past eras, of course, we haven’t had the luxury of guiding such groveling self-indulgence. Most parents kept their nippers occupied by a solid day’s work. It was a matter of survival. But now is an age of affluence. Your Target is now as malodorously spoiled as summer compost. I assure you, however, he views the situation exactly the opposite, and this is outstanding. Persist in letting the world fall short of his expectations. Persevere in letting him secern deep disappointment in people and principles. Drive him absolutely berserk with boredom! Then strike with the obvious solution—SIN. And only the most delicious varieties. This, he will discover—with all the curiosity of a kitten with a ball of yarn—is his only unexplored enclave of stimulation. Through attrition, you will convince him that without it, he may even shrivel up and die. Oh, how I delight in observing this evolution! It’s so fundamental. So academic. So enthralling I generally request popcorn.

Focus upon these three stratagems as your staging area for every sortie. Make it your alternating trifecta of assault. If human history and histrionics teaches us anything, young Mr. Hansen will find himself thoroughly helpless. You’ll have a smorgasbord of succulent temptations at your fingertips. Do not neglect a single hors-d'oeuvre!

Your Malignant Masterchef,

MUCKWHIP

Hit the Streep on the Big Screen!

2012-02-05T20:28:00.006-07:00

Yeah, the title of this blog is a bit abstract. By Streep I mean Meryl Streep, and my passionate advice, utilizing what miniscule influence I may have, is that everyone go and see "The Iron Lady" before it leaves theatres.

I had no interest in this movie. The subject matter seemed dull. A biopic about a British woman I barely recalled, but still knew little about? Sure, I'd likely see the movie later, on cable or Redbox. I'm so grateful that the start times at Jordon Commons forced my wife and I to grudgingly select this as our Saturday choice for date night.

This film is extraordinary. And I don't just mean Streep's usual brilliant chameleon-esque performance. The film itself is a celebration of principles that are so timely that my jaw dangled much of those two hours. Why? Well, because Hollywood doesn't celebrate these principles. They eschew them. They satarize them. But this film, for once, elevates them.

The plot starts out a bit slow, and we seem to yearn for scenes of young Margaret and Prime Minister Margaret and not elderly Margaret and her bouts with dementia. But as the whole thing comes together it's ALL the scenes that make this film so great. I'm as guilty as the shopkeeper at the start of the movie who sells her a pint of milk and fails to recognize who she even is. Though she is still alive, she seems quite forgotten, and unfortunately what has also dimmed may be the extraordinary legacy she left for the British Empire.

Don't wait for this one On Demand or DVD. You don't want the children's interruptions, idle conversation or microwave snacks to distract you. Immerse yourself and enjoy. See it on the big screen! The exact same issues that faced Mrs. Thatcher face us today, and the painful choices she made stare our nation smack in the face. If a Republican wins the Presidency this year (and I pray one does) it's likely that their first term will be reviled by many because of unavoidable cuts that must take place to cure our spending habits. But by this President's second term (assuming there is one) most will celebrate this leadership exactly the way Britian celebrated Mrs. Thatcher.

She was right. The pain paid off. And prosperity was the result. Her formula must become OUR formula.

I refuse to spoil anymore elements of this film. See it. Love it. Live it.

Chris Heimerdinger

Copyright @ 2012

Updates and Amazon!

2012-02-01T22:43:00.005-07:00

Greetings Fans and Friends!

Been a while since I've posted. Why? Well, I'm busy writing, that's why. Isn't that what everyone wants to hear?? So how is the next Tennis Shoes book (a.k.a., Thorns of Glory) coming?? All I can say is "It's coming." Soon I hope to post the Prologue and/or Chapter One. This is a structurally unique novel and I don't want to post something that will have to be pulled later because I have to entirely change it around. Soon, however, I'll probably give in.

My youngest son, Hunter Helaman, had his six-month birthday this week. Time flies. I'm also (between grueling hours at the computer) fundraising for a new film of my old novel, A Return to Christmas. Otherwise, I just slave away on the continuing adventure of Jim and Harry and Apollus and Meagan and Gidgiddonihah, etc., etc., etc. Until then, there are some great new novels and novelists in the LDS arena. Amazon is a very practical way to feed my family between books, and we work hard to keep our lofty satisfaction rating. Remember, on Amazon I'm known as FROSTCAVE. Here's some examples of new books and even some old classics that I came across:


Anita delivers another wonderful romance!	Brilliant new author Sarah M. Eden!	A Muslim converting to Mormonism? Gotta read this!
Passage on Titanic Book Passage on Titanic Audio	Friends and Foes Book	Worth of Souls Book Worth of Souls Audio

For Newlyweds and "Oldyweds"!!!	New fun novel from Julie Wright!	Another suspenseful tale from Traci Abramson!
Then Comes Marriage Book	Olivia Book	Royal Secrets Book Royal Secrets Audio

Delightful new novel from Joni Hilton!	Only 1 copy of this rare book available!	Another classic that couldn't be more current!
Funeral Potatoes Book Funeral Potatoes Audio	Purchase Here	Purchase Here!

On Mega-Sale For FrostCave Customers ONLY!	New Caption 1	New Caption 2
Escape Novel Escape Audio	Link	Link

In the last month or so I've also dusted off my manuscript entitled Muckwhip's Guide to Capturing the Latter-Day Soul, which I always thought was an extraordinary book, but my publisher at the time wasn't sure the market was quite ready for supervisory devils giving instrution to novice devils about ruining the lives of members of our faith. Anyway, it's my personal homage to C.S. Lewis, written with my own unique twists, and directed to LDS readers. I always loved this project and found it a great (and hopefully hilarious) opportunity to explore some thought-provoking philosophies. Honestly, there's NOTHING funny or entertaining about real demons. But fictional demons??? I think the market may finally be ready for it. Wait and see!

My best to you and yours this Valentine's Day!

Stay close to the Lord,
Chris Heimerdinger

Christmas Specials!!

2011-11-19T16:55:00.014-07:00

Hey friends and fans!

Most Comprehensive
Book of Mormon
Geography Book
EVER WRITTEN!

I've compiled the best-selling and best priced stuff we have either on www.frostcave.com or on Amazon. Or you can just call me directly and I'll match the prices. 801-495-0555. I do have two upcoming autograph signing events.

--Sat. Nov. 19th at the Sandy Costco from 11:00 to 1:00
--Sat. Dec. 3rd at the UVillage Deseret Book (Orem, UT) from 11:00 to 1:00

To purchase books, CDs, or DVDs, the links are under the pictures.

Tennis Shoes Gift Sets!
Click Here or Here.

Autographed DVD or Novel of
PASSAGE TO ZARAHEMLA!
Click Here OR Click Here

Bestselling DVD!

All 3 Novels in
Anita's Series!
The Wanderer
A Far Horizon
A Distant Shore

Chris's MUSIC CD from
"Passage to Zarahemla"
BE TOTALLY SURPRISED!

Another Suspense
Masterwork!
For Book
For Audio CDs!

Bestselling Music CD!

Tennis Shoes Audo Gift Sets!
My price beats 'em all!
Books 1-5 Click Here or Here
Books 6-10 Click Here or Here!

NEWEST RELEASE!
Escape into adventure!!
Autographed Novel
Autographed Audio CDs

Escape Reviews--NO SPOILERS!

2011-10-10T13:30:00.003-06:00

Haven't ordered yet? No problem! Go to:
http://www.frostcave.com/

Hey fans and readers,

Many are likely finishing reading of "Escape to Zarahemla," which means that a few reviews may soon be posted. You can express if you love or hate it, but please don't give away some of the plot twists or the connections with the "Tennis Shoes Adventure Series." Let all readers enjoy those connections on their own.

I'm deeply appreciative of the feedback I've gotten so far. My goal with this book was to return to the non-stop action that likely established my reputation and career. You can let me know if I succeeded. :)

Sincerely,
Chris Heimerdinger

Also, check out some of these great titles available on Amazon:

This book just keeps
earning new fans!
Seeking Persephone

Informative New Book!
400 Questions

New Suspense Yarn!
Rearview Mirror

This is Passage to Zarahemla
in Spanish: The 1st LDS novel
ever translated. Go here:
El Guerrero de Zarahemla

David Woolley's long-
awaited sequel.
Compass of God

Tea Party vs Occupy Wall Street - Guest Post

2011-10-07T15:55:00.002-06:00

**This is a guest post.

The views expressed in this post are not necessarily shared by Chris Heimerdinger**

Hello, my name is Courtney. I am a Tea Partier, complete with "Don't Tread on Me" flag hanging on my wall. I won't get into why I consider myself part of the Tea Party. Suffice it to say that if you were to look around at my blog, you would understand why I identify with the Tea Party principles.

The Tea Party is not a political party, but generally a local organization of people who share the same ideals and principles. Just like local churches, the Boy Scouts of America and 4-H, The Tea Party consists of Libertarians, Republicans, Independents AND Democrats (though I'm pretty sure it's safe to say no Socialists identify with the Tea Party).

So that being said, anyone who doesn't want to listen to my "racist, homophobic, anti-Semitic, war mongering, right-wing extremist" rant, feel free to click the "back" button on your browser. By the way, I dare you to find any racist, homophobic, anti-Semitic or war mongering language anywhere on my blog (sarcasm doesn't count).

Ok, are you ready? Those lovely demonstrators on Wall Street have peaked my interest just a bit over these last few weeks.

There have been some who have compared the "Occupy Wall Street" protesters to the Tea Party Movement. To quote the Vice President; "I think the Tea Party and the Van Jones folks are different halves of the same concern." Then he went on to say that there is some truth to what the Tea Party had to say.

Hold the PHONE! I thought we were all racist! That the only reason we disagreed with the President is because he was black! So which is it Mr. Biden? Are we bigoted hate-mongers who protest the president for no other reason than that he is black, or do we have some valid points that his POLICY has failed miserably (which Mr. Biden has also admitted to recently.) Even some Tea Partiers look at the current protesters and think "Hey, wait a minute! I agree with some of what they are saying!" But don't be fooled. They are nothing like us.

The hypocrisy of the left and the main stream media (MSM) is enough to make my head explode--but before anyone comments that they would like for my head to actually explode, please remember that I'M the hate-monger here. Don't rain on my parade folks.

There are also those who think that the Occupy Wall Street protesters are not even kind of close to the tea party. I would tend to agree with that assessment.

1. Let us begin with the obvious difference with the names of their causes. The Tea Party and the 9/12 Project dedicated April 21st for us to participate in a "Flash Mob of Kindness", a day dedicated to serving and helping those in need. This October 20th has been dedicated as a day to perform a random act of kindness. Contrast that with Van Jones and September 17th being the kick off day for the "Days of Rage". Now doesn't that sound all warm and fuzzy? It just makes you want to make the world a better place doesn't it?

Let's move on shall we?

2. The charge is that that the Tea Party consists of KKK members, Nazi's and other violent groups. Out of the 301 Tea Party Express protests, how many police encounters were there? One. There was one encounter with the police. After twenty days of "Occupy Wall Street" protests there have been over 1000 arrests (not surprisingly the arrests jumped up quite a bit once the unions showed up). Oh, I know what you're going to say: "It's those cops! It's their fault!" Or maybe, just maybe, the Tea Party as a whole isn't violent at all--and that the anarchists who have invaded Wall Street are. See, the Tea Party is made up of families who have a defined purpose in their opposition. Cut the spending. Cap the growth. Balance the budget. Oh yeah, and we want smaller government. Notice I said smaller government not no government. On the other hand even the MSM has admitted that no one really knows what the "Occupy Wall Street" people want. They are protesting everything from high taxes to the wars to the price of broccoli. These guys are not concerned about goals, they are concerned about chaos. That is why professors and activists are encouraging people to get out and protest ANYTHING. The only clear message that we have gotten is that they want to collapse the system.

3. To be fair, there is a lot of concentration on the evil banks. A lot of people are talking about the ridiculously high student loans that the evil bank is making them pay back. Now call me crazy, but I could have sworn that it was the colleges and universities that set tuition costs, not the banks. Before you comment, please remember that it's 2011, not 2008. The banks are not the bad guys this time. And do you remember this guy? He swore that "That's the bank stole my parent's house!"

That is a very heart wrenching story. If only it were true. The facts are a bit different from Robert's claims. The truth is that his parents' house has not, nor has it ever been in foreclosure. The remaining balance on their mortgage on their $500k home is less than one year's worth of tuition and fees at the prestigious law school that their son has decided to attend.

4. This is one I've personally had said to my face. Conservatives and Christians are brainwashed and don't know how to think for themselves. So let me get this straight, by the mere fact that I disagree with you, I have clearly been brainwashed and oppressed.

Really? I'M brainwashed?

You know what, you are right. I just need to be liberated so that I can think for myself and fall in line to be just like everyone else.

5. The Tea Party is racist. We've all heard this one. Not just the Tea Party, but Republicans are racist. Christians are racists. Any conservative person is racist. And President Obama (then nominee Obama) himself has said that...

That's right. Typical white people are racist and it has been bred into them. Ok. Got it.

Except that in spite of the many claims of racism against the Tea Party, a $100,000 reward for video or audio proving said racism came up empty. You'd think that with with everyone whipping out their cell phones the second there is anything remotely interesting happening, there would be something tangible to prove that it happened. Is it possible that maybe racism within the Tea Party is the exception rather than the rule? Though, I'm sure that there were a few people who tried to take advantage of the situation to further their agenda.

Notice the sign in the background indicating he is a communist infiltrator and that he doesn't represent the Tea Party. After asking him repeatedly to leave or at least turn his offensive shirt inside out they decided that the best way to deal with him was to pray for him. How hateful of them. I've heard this kind of rhetoric before.

On balance I thought I should play some videos from the "Occupy Wall Street" protests, considering that is what has inspired my commentary.

Need I go on? These people are clearly disturbed. But what I want to know is why the MSM decides to make the few clearly disturbed and hateful people the poster children of the Tea Party, and yet not mention these guys at all?

The left plays the race card every single time. It's what people do when there is no logical argument left for them to use. They are desperate so they call me a racist. They say the only reason I don't like Obama's policies is because he's black. And get this, the only reason why I LIKE Hermain Cain is because he's black. So all things being equal, I'm a racist no matter who I support. How is that for ironclad logic?

6. They say "Occupy Wall Street" is grass roots. The Tea Party is an actual grass roots organization. It's a true from the bottom up organization that started with normal, every day people. The "Occupy Wall Street" protests are anything but. In less than three weeks of protesting, the participants have health insurance, free health clinics, a newspaper and the UNIONS! That's not grass roots folks! This is organized and funded by people with deep pockets and a lot of political capital.

7. The Tea Party only wants to destroy.

Remember those "what's different in these two pictures" games? Lets play shall we?

This is from the close of the the 9/12 rally in 2009.

Notice how the stuff made it into the trash cans.

This is from the close of Obama's inaugural address. Nice.

This is from after the Glenn Beck's 8/28 Restoring Honor Rally.

Aprox. 600,000 people were in attendance.

And this is from the 10/2 "One Nation" Rally.

Don't you just love how they treat our flag?

Not everyone tried so hard

We really should give them a break though. I mean, Ed Schultz said that more people were at the "One Nation" rally than at the "Restoring Honor" rally. Let's take a look.

Oops. Wrong again Ed. I find it especially ironic that the left, who claim to be the champions of Mother Earth, would allow our Nations Capital to be left in such a state.

The liberal script on the Tea Party is a lie. This is what the Tea Party really looks like (photo's courtesy of glennbeck.com)

Truly frightening.

8. For those of you who loudly proclaim that the ends justify the means, you'd think that our conservative "means" would warrant a little less hostility considering how successful our "ends" have been.

I understand that not everyone believes in God. Not everyone thinks that the traditional family is necessary or desirable, and that not everyone believes people should only have sex in loving, committed, monogamous, MARRIED relationships. You can think what you want. But you can hardly argue with our results. Guess what, two virgins who marry each other and live in a completely monogamous relationship have zero chance of contracting an STD.

For example, according to adherents.com:

Utah was ranked as the #1 best state in which to raise children in by the Children's Right's Council. Provo, Utah was ranked as the #1 healthiest city in the country for women, and the Salt Lake City-Ogden metro area as the best place to live in North America. People in Utah are 7 times less likely to commit suicide.

Despite the fact that Utah ranks next-to-last in educational spending, Utah spends a much greater percentage of their budget on education with the results that Utah has:

the highest high school graduation rates in the nation
the 2nd highest percentage of high school graduates
the highest number of AP exams taken and passed per capita
ranked 7th in the nation academically, beating out states that spend nearly $10,000 more per student.

Utah also spends a significantly smaller portion of their budget on public welfare with the following results:

lowest child poverty rate in the nation
lowest number of teen pregnancies
lowest number of children born to single or unwed mothers
highest amount of money given by wealthy (over $200k) to charity

Utah is arguably considered the MOST conservative state in the United States and it's doing FAR better than the national average in all of these categories and more. We conservatives must be doing something right.

Yet conservative values are constantly being met with scorn and ridicule. We are prudish, sheltered and brainwashed. Or maybe, just maybe, we know exactly what we are doing and don't actually have to EXPERIENCE something in order to understand and choose to reject it.

The problem with conservatives is not that we are stupid or bigoted or any of those things that most libs call us. The problem is that we're fairly boring. We lead simple, happy, contented lives. There is rarely a need for us to go out and protest. Protesting is only something that we've started doing recently. We don't have talking points or cool (albeit misleading) slogans full of alliteration or rhymes. When we go on the news, we speak as if we are having a conversation with a neighbor. As a whole, we don't interrupt or shout down our opponent. We can separate someone's political beliefs from their character because we believe that "by their fruits ye shall know them." As long as someone DOES good and is polite and isn't hostile, I can respect and love them even if they don't believe what I do. I have an aunt and uncle with whom I disagree on almost everything, especially on politics. But they are really enjoyable to be around, they are generous and fun, and they forgive me when I am occasionally insensitive. Most importantly, while they may not agree with what I say, they are willing to listen to me and not shout me down and call me brainwashed--at least not to my face.

Good intentions are all well and good, but nothing really comes out of good intentions. Good intentions that are meant to come to fruition by the sweat of another man's brow will never lead to lasting peace and prosperity. It doesn't matter what someone WANTS to do, what matters is what they DO. Are you moved by speeches and rhetoric, or are you moved by example and actions?

By their fruits ye shall know them.

Anyone who listened to the Ronald Reagan's 1964 speech entitled "A Time For Choosing"would be absolutely astounded at the parallels to our troubles today. All we would have to do is replace "Vietnam" with "The War on Terror" or "Radical Islam" and "The Soviet Union" or "The Iron Curtain" with "The Middle East" and we've got a speech which is almost perfectly applicable to today. Does anyone else wonder why it is that the same problems keep coming up? For every step forward we make toward liberty and justice, it seems a generation later we take one back toward progressivism and relative morality. It's because we don't teach history in our schools anymore. Instead, we memorize dates. It's because the terrorists and radical revolutionaries that were defeated yesterday are the professors and elitists in our universities today (Francis Fox Piven, Bill Ayers, Cornel West, the list goes on). They are indoctrinating our children in the universities that no longer even bother to teach critical thought. They took a few years off to refine their technique, but they are now back and are determind to get it right this time.

Society drills it into our kids that you can't possibly get a job or succeed in life without a college degree, preferably from an ivy league school. And so the schools, knowing they've got the support from the federal government for "free money" and guaranteed federal loans, continue to drive up the cost of tuition. Tuition has inflated to nearly 10 times the amount that it was in the 70's. That is far more than the inflation of the cost of living, housing or medicine. We walk into banks and beg for loans because we can't get jobs without a college degree and we promise to pay the money back. We are told we aren't qualified to teach our kids without that all-powerful piece of paper, even though Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and countless other extremely successful people were college dropouts. Then the people behind the lies sic their students on the very banks that made it possible for them to go to college in the first place. People scream about their horrendous student loans and lament that education is a right and should be free. Yet they would never admit that if they walked down to their free local public library and read those books, they would probably get a better education then they could ever get in a university (instructional schools like med school, dental school, etc. excepted.) Silver spoon fed kids who have never worked a day in their lives demand that the rich "pay their fair share" even though no one will define exactly what "fair share" means.

We have gone from a society which had celebrated and was inspired by success, to a depraved culture filled with envy that wants nothing more than to punish those who have something they don't. We have an administration that wants to put a cap on charitable deductions in the name of "charity," and outright lies to us when comparing tax rates between Warren Buffet and his secretary. People claim it's all about fairness and leveling the playing field, but the truth of the matter is that most of those people are thinking about what they can get out of the deal. I know this because I have talked with them. I know them very well.

For once I would like someone to admit that being rich or poor has very little to do with your income and almost everything to do with your attitude. Those who always look at having more, more, more and never practice self-restraint will always feel like they are poor, no matter how high their income.

Morality, individual responsibility, and the strict adherence to the true laws of economics (not the perverse version given to us by Keynes) will pull our society out of the gutter and back into prosperity.

All of this may sound discouraging, but I have good news. Do you remember ever playing "Red Rover" when you were a kid? It doesn't matter how many people are on the other side, what matters is how strongly you hold the line. All we have to do is hold the line. Stand strong and hold to the truth, and make sure people know where you stand. Hold on to others who share your values and can help lift you up. Since we put our strength in ourselves and in our Father in Heaven, we are much more likely to be able to hold strong than the other side, because our foundation is based on truth--not trends. They can try and shout us down and scream and call us names all they want. They could even "re-educate" or "eliminate" us like the weather underground wanted to do back in the 60's. They will never win. There will always be someone who rises up and says "This is WRONG! It doesn't make ANY sense!" Truth never dies and never changes. As long as there are people willing to THINK there will be those who think outside the indoctrination. As a former liberal I know this to be true.

Those of you who are still on the fence and think it doesn't really matter, the time has come for you to decide. If you don't hold tight to the iron rod, you will be swept away when the waves of evil crash over you.

Thank you to Chris Heimerdinger for allowing me to post on his sounding board!

Chris Heimerdinger Youtube Interview: "Escape from Zarahemla"

2011-10-05T22:52:00.003-06:00

My publisher filmed an interview to coincide with the release of Escape from Zarahemla. It offers what I hope is a concise explanation of what this novel tries to accomplish and how it ties into the Tennis Shoes Adventure Series. Yeah, I think I look a bit pudgy. But, oh well. I AM a bit pudgy. (Just got a membership at the new Gold's Gym in our neighborhood last week. So there's hope. :)

Anyway, here's the link. I hope it answers all question about the novel itself, including info about the upcoming Tennis Shoes novel, Thorns of Glory, and other things I'm often asked in emails.

As an update, by tomorrow ALL pre-orders of the book and AUDIOBOOK for Escape to Zarahemla will have been mailed. Yes, the Audiobook arrived at my publisher this morning. Woo-hoo! For those who ordered, the package should soon be in your mailbox. I hope this Youtube video encourages others to make the plunge into this adventure as well. :)

Go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3D2Q1mR53OM

To order any books or audiobooks, go to: http://www.frostcave.com/shop/

Sincerely,

Chris Heimerdinger

Escape from Zarahemla SHIPS MONDAY!

2011-09-30T18:37:00.001-06:00

I've seen it. I can officially confirm that it exists (unlike Area 51). I get my big shipment, including the audio CDs for this book, on Monday afternoon. Then I go on a marathon of packaging and shipping. THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR THEIR INCREDIBLE PATIENCE! Some fans pre-ordered this thing wayyyyy back in June. Soon all the secrets, as far as how this book weaves into the "Tennis Shoes Adventure Series", which Tennis Shoes characters are featured, etc., etc., will be out. And I can rest. Not really. I'm busily concocting plot and details for the next book! That is, when I'm not promoting this one. To pre-order at the last minute and be part of Monday's mailing extravagana, go to: http://www.frostcave.com/shop/!

Einstein Vs. Abraham and Joseph Smith

2011-09-21T18:51:00.006-06:00

When I was in the 9th Grade at Cody Junior High School (in Cody, Wyoming. Where else?) I had a science teacher named Mr. Hurr. Now, Mr. Hurr was an intimdating dude who at one time had suffered an injury where he lost one of his hands. The prosthetic hand that replaced it must have been made out of cement, because on one occasion when an experiment required a bag of ice, Mr. Hurr felt the young female student was being too gentle with her hammer breaking the ice apart. He proceeded to pulverize the ice with his prosthetic. At the time we kids were very much into Steve Austin, "The Six-Million Dollar Man" whose lost limbs had been replaced with superhero counterparts. Yes, Mr. Hurr and his cement hand were certainly intimidating.

One day while lecturing Mr. Hurr made a statement that stuck with me for years. He declared, "The only unique, original idea ever conceived by another human being in the last century was that of Albert Einstein with his theory of relativity."

I thought about that statement for a long time: "Huh. The only unique idea in a century? Nobody else has ever offered an original thought since?" Over the years this statement has struck me as less and less credible when considering all of the progress of the 20th century. But let's just indulge Mr. Hurr for a moment, shall we? Let's think about this "unique" idea called the Theory of Relativity.

In referencing such theories we have to actually break them down into two separate theories: that of Special Relativity--published by Einstein in 1905--and that of General Relatively, published in 1916. One of the fundamental concepts that emerged as a result of these theories was--simply put--that time itself could be dilated or compressed and had to be measured differently depending upon the "sphere" or point of reference of a particular observer in the universe. Many experiments have been conducted to prove Einstein's theories. Perhaps a more dramatic of these was an experiment conducted in 1971 wherein two physicists, J. C. Hafele and Richard Keating, flew four portable caesium clocks around the world in high-flying passenger jets. They compared these atomic clocks at the beginning and end with reference clocks located on the ground at the US Naval Observatory in Washington, D.C. Two airplanes few east in their circumnavigation, and the others, west. After about three days, the eastbound clocks lost, on average, 59 nano seconds whereas the westbound clocks gained an average of 273 nanoseconds.

This was only one experiment that dramatized and "proved" Einsteins theories of time dilation and compression. So, according to Mr. Hurr, prior to Albert Einstein, the very concept of time as a maleable thing, moving differently depending upon one's point of reference had never crossed the mind of any other human being. It had hatched exclusively in the brain of Albert Einstein.

After I joined the Church in 1981 I soon had the privilege of reading the Pearl of Great Price, and in particular, the Book of Abraham. The origins of the Book of Abraham are as dramatic and mysterious as the doctrines it reveals. I won't take go into much of that. Suffice it to say that Joseph Smith translated, by the gift and power of God, a segment of a book attributed to the Prophet Abraham from some ancient papyrus (papyri?) found inside a number of Egyptian mummies sold to the Church in 1838. Various samples of these papyrus found their way into several locations over the decades after the Prophet's death. However, the prevalent belief is that the specific document from which Joseph Smith made his translation was destroyed in the Great Chicago Fire in 1871.

In any case, certain declarations found in the 3rd Chapter of this work clearly elaborate upon the precise principle of time dilation and compression later proposed by Albert Einstein. Read Abraham 3:4-10. These scriptures are, quite simply, astonishing, especially when considering the era when they were first presented. In all fairness, there is a scripture in 2 Peter 3:8 which states: "...one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day." Today some might credit Peter with offering a similar idea. However, prior to Joseph Smith and Einstien, this verse was never ascribed to anything beyond the mysteries affixed to mortal and immortal realms. It doesn't really elaborate upon the deeper concepts of time dilation and compression as expressed in the Pearl of Great Price. It took Abraham (through Joseph Smith) to layout the kind of complex ideologies later suggested by Einstein.

It would take up too much space to reprint these verses here, and yet it seems an injustice to print only a few, so before continuing, please take a moment, find Abr. 3:4-10, and digest them thoroughly.

Done? Okay. Let's go on.

Now let's return to Mr. Hurr's suggestion that Einstein was the only person in the 20th century to hatch a truly original idea. If this is in any way true, what does that say about Joseph Smith, who presented the same essential concepts seven decades before Einstein (albeit by virtue of a unique resource known as revelation and sans all the math)? Perhaps a more intriguing question is: When will Joseph Smith and the LDS Church be recognized for presenting some of the more fundamental concepts of Special Relativity some seventy years before the great Albert Einstein?

I'm certainly not one to begrudge (at present) the world's failure to recognize the contributions of modern prophets and the fullness of the Lord's gospel. But it seems unimaginable to me that even the most hardened skeptics who have at least a rudimentary knowledge of physics would not find themselves awestruck, impressed, or at the very least puzzled when presented with these seven verses. Try it on someone sometime. I'd love to hear the responses.

* * *

I couldn't help but notice that most of those who have pre-ordered Escape From Zarahemla, book or audio book, have failed to provide instructions as to who these books or CDs should be signed to. It may be that Amazon and www.frostcave.com doesn't really provide a clear way to give such instructions. Let me declare that it's not too late to provide me with the name of the book's future owner, whether signed to an individual or a whole family. Especially if this book is meant to be a gift, I think it's incumbant upon the buyer to take a moment and provide me with this info and, if necessary, declare the occasion (whether a Christmas or birthday present, etc.). Just reply to this email and I'll happily staple your instructions to your printed order. Thanks again for all your support!

@ Copyright 2011, Chris Heimerdinger

Bestsellers and Favorites

2011-09-17T17:07:00.013-06:00

Hey gang!

Two weeks to pre-order the newest "Tennis Shoes" novel, Escape from Zarahemla. Yes, it's a sequel to story that began in (book and movie) Passage to Zarahemla. But as you read it you'll also understand why it's also a "Tennis Shoes" novel. I'm always tempted to reveal more than that, but it would ruin the story for many readers. So mum's the word. To pre-order, go to:
http://www.frostcave.com/shop/

This Amazon thing has turned out to be a lot of fun, and nice support during the "lean" summer experienced by most LDS authors. I wanted to highlight of few of my favorite LDS novels from this season:


Two original collector's editions! Very rare!	Michele Ashman Bell! One of my fave people!	Fun and Funny New Mystery!
Order	Order	Order

Clair Poulsen at it again!	Our best-selling book for the last 2 weeks!	Suspenseful mystery!
Order	Order	Order

New Author! Great Book!	Get 1-5 while it's hot! Price could go up!	Yeah, same with 5-10!
Order	Order	Order

Found this old classic in a garage sale!
Order

A CELEBRATION OF MONTHS: 1 Month to Pre-Order "Escape to Zarahemla"/ Hunter Helaman is 1 Month Old!

2011-09-01T15:00:00.004-06:00

It's September First! So, in theory, this means that my publisher, Covenant Communcation, AKA, Deseret Book, AKA, the LDS Church (many people don't realize that ALL of these companies, including Seagull Book, are subsidiaries of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which means that, technically, I'm a Church employee!)...Anyway, Escape From Zarahemla will release in 1 (say it with me--ONE!) month.

I finished the audio recording on my birthday, Aug. 26th. Took five days. (It's a long book!) and I was the sole narrator of this one (since it's written in 3rd person). Lots of voices. In the past I've been saddled with having to narrate when I've had a cold, or been all stuffed up, etc., and I can usually hear it in my voice. But for this one I was cold-free. The reading seemed as smooth as molasses. 8 CDs, from what they told me. Or $27.99. Although we are pre-selling it at $25.19 at www.frostcave.com. PRE-ORDER TODAY! If it's easier, just call me directly at 801-495-0555. Especially if you order more than one item. I can generally save folks $$ on shipping. Unlike the AMAZON philosophy, which generally tries to give the seller a dollar or more extra profit on any book sold, I don't believe in making any profit on shipping. I try to be very close to ACTUAL cost.

Those interested in more than one item should check out my books on Amazon. Every LDS author you can imagine--plus lots of great books in general. It's become kind of a sideline to help feed my oversized family. Over 500 products now. However, if you can, try to buy from me directly by calling. I can ALWAYS save you on shipping. To see the managerie of titles, go to: FrostCave on Amazon

Those who pre-order, especially if they live outside Utah, will likely recieve Escape From Zarahemla before their local bookstores. As I've said before, this IS a Tennis Shoes novel. Make no mistake about it. Portions of Book 12: Thorns of Glory will be harder to follow without having read Escape.

Oh, and yeah, I had another birthday. I'm at that age when I don't much count such events anymore. But Emily bought me some nice shirts and new car mats for my Hundai Sonata. Yup, I own the most commonly sold vehicle in America. A few years ago I owned a Honda Accord, also the most commonly sold vehicle at that time. Now I own a Sonata. Next year, it's all Ferraris, but this year we'll stick with more practical modes of transport.

Little Hunter is doing great. Starting to smile. Very wiggly and determined. I predict he'll walk before he's a year old. Here are some additional pictures:

Finally got him with his eyes open!

Hunter and my 8 yr. old daughter, Liahona

Safe in Mommy's hands

Amazonian Joy!!!

2011-08-06T15:52:00.008-06:00

Hey Friends and Fans! All this stuff is found on FrostCave at Amazon OR simply Frostcave.com. PLEASE DON'T do Amazon if you want multiple items. Call me directly with Visa or MC at 801-495-0555. That way, save a GRUNDLE in Shipping. Ask for Chris or leave a message.
ALL PRICES ARE SALE PRICES!! Buy From FrostCave.

PRESALE FOR OCTOBER
Book $15.29
Audio CDs. $25.19

Book $15.49
Audio CDs $25.78

Talk CD $10.67

Book: $15.47
Audio CD: $25.19

Book: $13.47
Audio Book: $23.68

Audio CDs 1-5: $86.95
Audio CDs 6-10: $101.95

RARE OUT-OF-PRINT BOOK
Who'd a Thunk? Yeah, it's pricey. But
mine is NEW and half the price of others.
To view: Go HERE!!

RARE GAME!! (Mine is 2nd listed. Not
Shrink-wrapped. Instead, it is SIGNED!)
Collector's Item. SEE HERE!!

The Next Tennis Shoes Book?

2011-08-02T19:24:00.007-06:00

I'm kinda scratching my head.

I still get at least five emails a day from fans who ask, in essence, "WHEN IS THE NEXT "TENNIS SHOES" BOOK COMING OUT???"

It seems I might not have described Escape from Zarahemla correctly. Or sufficiently. Or accurately.

Fans need to know...Escape from Zarahemla IS a Tennis Shoes book. I think some misunderstanding comes from an author's desire to keep important aspects of a book secret. No, Escape won't reveal what happens between Pagag and Steffanie, or Apollus and Meagan, etc., etc., but I can say this much: Important "backstory" regarding major characters and settings from the Tennis Shoes Adventure Series are revealed in Escape from Zarahemla. That stuff will play on and continue in "Tennis Shoes 12" (Thorns of Glory). So parts of Thorns of Glory will be harder to grasp or enjoy without having first read Escape from Zarahemla.

Whew! Okay, that wasn't so hard. And I don't think I gave away any surprises. So, in the hopes of shrinking (a little) the number of emails I get per day about the "next" Tennis Shoes book, I need fans to know that Escape from Zarahemla, though it is also a sequel to Passage to Zarahemla, is very much a "Tennis Shoes" book and will bring both novels together in a very fun way.

So when is the next Tennis Shoes book coming out? In October! And it's called Escape from Zarahemla.

To pre-order call 801-495-0555 or go the Frost Cave store site at: http://www.frostcave.com/shop/

To visit all our Amazon listings, go here

@Copyright Chris Heimerdinger, August, 2011.

And Introducing: Hunter Helaman Heimerdinger

2011-08-01T01:10:00.014-06:00

Less than 30 minutes after Hunter came into the world.

Birthday: July 29
12:39 AM
Stats: 6 lbs 11 oz
20 inches
Labor: 7 hrs. 30 mins. Natural. No epidural or other meds. (Emily was INCREDIBLE!)
Eye color: Too soon to tell.
Hair color: Dirty blond, like Dad

Hunter Helaman less than one day old.

Never seen so much hair on one of my newborns! The nurses had great fun styling it!

11 kids. Spans from 22 years to 2 days. Our next oldest child is Angelina Cumorah at age 6. This is my first boy in 17 years.

So are we finished? Yes, we think so. We'll see what the Lord thinks, but I'm inclined to say that He supports that consensus. :)

Final Cover: ESCAPE FROM ZARAHEMLA

2011-07-27T16:03:00.008-06:00

I did request one minor change to this current version. I wanted the bottom tagline (or subtitle--which is barely visible here unless you enlarge it by clicking on the image) to read "The Thrilling Sequel to Passage to Zarahemla" and then either italicize or bold the title Passage to Zarahemla. But overall, I think this is MUCH better. Compare for yourself. And then PRE-ORDER the doggone thing! I've gotten orders on books, but no lucky soul has yet pre-ordered the very first audio CDs. I will sign that product as, "First audio CD of this book EVER SOLD!" which, as of this moment, would be quite accurate.

To pre-order, go to:

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=Escape+From+Zarahemla&x=0&y=0

OR! http://www.frostcave.com/shop/

Or just call me at 801-495-0555 and we'll use my merchant account. So call now! But not tomorrow. ANY day but tomorrow. I'm sort of having a baby tomorrow.

Oh, aw-right. You can leave a message tomorrow and I'll call you back. :)

Copyright, July 2011, Chris Heimerdinger

Movie Review: 17 Miracles

2011-07-25T00:02:00.013-06:00

Sometimes when I've read movie reviews I've thought, "If the reviewer understood a little about actual movie-making, they might know what they're talking about." Well, as far as LDS cinema, I'd have to say that I feel somewhat "qualified."

Unfortunately, since the phenomenon of LDS cinema began (arguably with God's Army in 2000), I've personally followed the same behavior pattern as most other LDS consumers, i.e., I was very excited at first and saw them all--mostly in theatres, and often the day they were released! Then, after feeling like I'd been burned one too many times, I sort of became indifferent. I waited to hear the opinions of others before I saw much of anything. And even when others' reviews were marginally good, I generally waited to see an LDS movie on DVD. Despite a rash of high-quality, low-budget projects out of the gate, I finally came to the conclusion that it just wasn't worth spending my hard-earned $7-10 price for a theatre ticket on a movie that cost under a million to make, especially when I had the alternative of paying for another movie of equal length, in a neighboring theatre, that cost as much as 100 million or more. Maybe it had to do with a long string of relatively poor quality LDS films. Maybe the newness of the phenomenon had simply worn off. Most likely it was a little of both. And sadly, I'm still stuck in that rut, because despite the fact that 17 Miracles had been in theatres since June 3, I only broke down and bought a ticket for it last night, and that was only because we'd already seen (as a family) Captain America the night before and Emily and I couldn't find any other movie for our weekly date night.

Everyone has their favorites as far as LDS films. Peoples' favorites are normally the ones that most touched their hearts. I'll leave my own film off such a list. Not because I'm not proud of the acheivement. But for the same reason I'd leave my own books off such a list. When I'm the creator, not the consumer, I'm simply too close to the project to judge. So with that in mind, my personal favorite LDS film has always been The Best Two Years. Why? Well...I guess, more than anything, because of that single scene where Brother Rogers (K.C. Clyde) bore witness to his investigator, Mr. Harrison (Scott Christopher). That scene really got to me. Yes, there were other fine parts of that movie. If there hadn't been, the really GREAT scene wouldn't have worked. But that single scene really reignited all the feelings associated with my own testimony. Thus, I'll never forget it. Those are the kinds of things that determine our "favorites," right? Well, for me, personally, no other LDS film had quite achieved such a moment. However, finally, with T.C. Christensen's 17 Miracles I can happily report that an LDS filmmaker has once again "got to me."

T.C. has been around a long time. He's always kept a hand in directing, but over the years he's probably become better known as one of the finest cinematographers in the Mountain West, having shot such LDS projects as Emma and Forever Strong. With 17 Miracles I think he has broken his own mold and written, directed, and produced what I think now stands as one of the strongest examples of LDS cinema.

He shares his writing credit on this story, although I think he is the sole author of the screenplay. It may be in the writing where this movie's true genius shines. Not in its wittiness or clever dialogue (though there are examples of both) but primarily in its simplicity. It's honesty.

We've all heard the spiritual anecdotes surrounding the Martin and Willie handcart tragedy for most of our Church lives. I also enjoyed Gerald Lund's historical novel Fire of the Covenant, sat through numerous firesides, and sent about half of my children on the now-traditional handcart treks celebrated by LDS stakes across Utah (and beyond) every four years. Still, the information and storytelling in 17 Miracles struck me with such freshness that it was as if I was hearing these accounts for the first time. The genius, I believe, lies in the choices that T.C. and his co-writers made. Unlike other recountings that I've heard or read, T.C.'s story focused less on history and more on (as emphasized by the title) the miracles. Some of these miracles were new to me, such as the rage-filled husband who failed to recognize his converted wife and children when they were escaping on a train, or the "angel" (played by Bruce Newbold who also happens to be a veteran of Passage to Zarahemla) who provided meat to the starving pioneers and then "disappeared." Perhaps such incidents have been told to me before. Perhaps I'm just growing old and senile. Or perhaps T.C.'s movie dramatizes such events in a way that finally, permanently, seared them onto my memory and into my heart. I'd like to believe that it's the latter.

From the very opening scene the scriptwriters offered a profound comparison between the Donner Party that met a most tragic end in the mountains of California, and the members of the Mormon handcart companies, who might very well have succumbed to the same pressures, but didn't. The reasons why they did not sink to such depths of depravity was, I believe, the main point of the film, and it left viewers with much to ponder. It was this comparison and its inherent themes that, I believe, offered the fresh perspective which made the film's impact particularly strong. It was further emphasized as I read one of the final placards at the film's ending. This historical note informed viewers that the percentage of fatalities experienced by these two handcart companies was not particularly higher than what was experienced by other pioneer parties on the Oregon Trail. If this point is true (and I guess I'd have to brush up on western history to confirm it) it makes the story of the Willie and Martin Handcart companies all the more sublime--the fact that they did NOT succumb to the same savagery as the Donner Party and other groups who endured similar hardships. Instead these Mormon pioneers were bound together by their faith in a common purpose--the desire to follow the Lord's command and reach that magical destination called Zion--and by the abundant miracles that attended them because of their faith.

My congratulations to all involved in this project for injecting a much-needed shot in the arm to LDS cinema. It is a reaffirmation that the "thing" many LDS films have been missing is not big budgets, 3-D effects, vertigo-inducing cinematography, or snappy editing, but a sincerity of storytelling born of simplicity, conviction, and testimony.

I urge all weary consumers of LDS cinema to give this one a chance, particularly before it leaves the big screen. I regret that I waited seven weeks to see it, if only because I could have written this review a little sooner. The fact that 17 Miracles is still in regional theatres after seven weeks and during such a hyped summer box-office season might be considered the 18th miracle surrounding this production. Or perhaps not. The fact is, this movie--because of its fine performances, veteran skills, and poignant storytelling-- sincerely deserves the attention and success that it is acheiving.

@ Copyright, Chris Heimerdinger 2011

Pre-Sales Begin For "Escape From Zarahemla"

2011-07-22T15:13:00.001-06:00

To pre-order Escape From Zarahemla for shipment in October, call 1-801-495-0555. Ask for Chris.
(other ordering options listed below)

Okay, what you're looking at here is only the "preliminary" cover for Escape From Zarahemla. The main reason I went a little psycho and told the publisher they couldn't go this direction was because it features three Gadianton characters who are DEAD!! All three of these guys died in the first novel and movie Passage to Zarahemla. I also didn't like the smiling, lighthearted expressions on Kerra and Brock. Reminded me too much of something like The Buttercream Gang. So I explained to the artists that this was an INTENSE STORY with wall-to-wall action and the character's expressions should reflect such. Thus, we went back to the drawing board, found MUCH better character images, and changed things up quite a bit. The new cover will (I'm told) feature Nephites instead of Gadiantons, and a jaguar. I'll reveal the final cover as soon as they finish it.

None of this matters, of course, when pre-ordering the book or audio CDs. We've already discounted both products from the publisher's suggested retail prices ($16.99 and $27.99.) If you order directly from me by calling 1-801-495-0555, shipping will be a little cheaper. If it's more convenient, you can also order from Amazon, but those who know Amazon know that shipping is $4.00 for every single item, so if you want, say, the book AND the audio CDs, or two books, or whatever, then you should DEFINITELY order directly from me or from http://www.frostcave.com/. Also, if you want a personalized autograph for the purposes of a gift, etc., ordering with my merchant account makes that process much simpler.

So here are the three ways to pre-order the newest adventure:

1. Call me direct at 801-495-0555 with a Visa or MC. Ask for Chris.
2. Go to: http://www.frostcave.com/shop
3. Use Amazon. For the BOOK, go to:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1608615391?ie=UTF8&seller=A3DJOE9ISPI8WO&sn=FrostCave
For the AUDIO CDs go to:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1608615405?ie=UTF8&seller=A3DJOE9ISPI8WO&sn=FrostCave

My sincere thanks to all my fans and readers through the years. I hope the feedback in October confirms my instincts that Escape From Zarahemla is one of the most exciting and satisfying Book of Mormon adventures I've written. :)

To see other great AMAZON sale items, scroll down to the bottom of this webpage!!

@Copyright 2011 by Chris Heimerdinger

The Edge of Our Seats!

2011-07-19T18:54:00.009-06:00

In an event filled summer, with a new book at the press, research for the next book underway, a new 15-passenger van in my driveway, my father's 80-th birthday, 4 kids at EFY, a dozen other Church, ward and stake activities, etc., etc., the most profound, extraordinary and magnificent summer event is scheduled to take place in less than ten days. Namely, the birth my new son, Hunter Helaman!

It's a daunting prospect to say the least. I haven't had a brand new baby for six years. Additionally, I haven't had a SON for 17 years! As I recall, it is much more difficult having a baby son around the house than a baby daughter. I'm not playing favorites. (Actually, the roles sort of reverse in complexity as they become teens!) but as babies and toddlers, girls (at least in my experience) are much easier to handle. However, my wife, Emily, appears eager and up to the task, despite her perpetual discomfort, Braxton hicks, and inability to ever get comfortable enough to enjoy a full night's slumber. The baby is due in early August, but actually being induced on July 28th (to avoid certain medical complications). So in 9 days, our lives will once again be filled with diapers, spit-ups, late night pacing, and continuous Sacrament meeting interruptions. And you know what? This is my last one. I know it. I've fully digested this fact, and because of it, I plan to cherish every moment--from the crying to the puking to the disposable "blowouts" (only an experienced parent would fully know what that term means in this context).

So in the midst of all this, one might wonder, what about Tennis Shoes Book 12?! Yes, I still get an average of 5 emails per day wanting to know about the novel's progress. I'll only say this: ideas are hatching, plots are thickening, and breath-taking climaxes are being orchestrated. Sadly, no matter what else is happening in my life, I can never totally turn off the spigot of my imagination. It's actually a bit of a peculiar, distressing thing. Even as I witness the sacred birth of my child, my mind will occasionally--inevitably--ruminate upon some plot point or character from whatever new project is dominating my attention. If I could help it, I assure you, I would. Such is a curse of being an artist. Or maybe just the curse of having a personality plagued by A.D.D. Either way, a part is my mind is forever bouncing like a pinball, desperately searching for a place to land. I suppose the only respite I have from this "disease" is the moment that I actually complete a novel, or a movie, or a song. Even so, the moment lasts only about 45 seconds. Then it's off to my next fantastical wonderland. But ohhh!, what a golden 45 seconds of freedom those precious seconds truly are! They are worth all the creative effort that came before.

In a day or two I will begin to offer pre-orders for Escape to Zarahemla, still scheduled for an October release. I now know the price--both of the book and the audio book--and I have seen the first mock-ups of the cover design. Honestly, I didn't like my publisher's first efforts at a cover. But with a little extra work I think we've finally found the needed images of Kerra, Brock and other characters, plus a gnarly face-forward image of a jaguar, which is very "story appropriate," as readers will discover soon enough.

Don't call me quite yet for pre-orders. Give me another day or so. I may have to post the "mock-up" cover for now and the final cover next week. Today I'm actually working with the editor on a final draft of the manuscript. The more I read my own words, the more satisfied I am with the pure adventure this story offers. It's quite breathtaking at moments (if I do say so). The Book of Mormon has been a source of inexhaustible inspiration for me throughout my career, and Escape to Zarahemla is no exception. I truly believe readers will be immersed in the Nephite world in ways that have never yet been explored or imagined. In any case, it's a much more engaging (and longer) read than Passage to Zarahemla. My hope is that readers will grip the edge their seats with enthrallment, just as with the most intense moments of any other Tennis Shoes adventure. Then, when this novel concludes, both book series will magically blend together in perfect and poetic way that should surprise and please the most discriminating fans.

When the time comes (let's say Friday), you can pre-order from me directly by phone, or you can simply go to this blog's companion site at http://www.frostcave.com/. Lastly, you can go to my Amazon account called FrostCave found at:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/shops/storefront/index.html?ie=UTF8&marketplaceID=ATVPDKIKX0DER&sellerID=A3DJOE9ISPI8WO

Shucks, you can go there now if you have a hankering and see hundreds of great LDS titles that came into my hands earlier this year--most of them brand new and in mint condition. Take special note of the price on Tennis Shoes sets--books and/or audio. Honestly, no one else can touch the prices that I can offer--even including shipping!!

So for now, stay tuned! Not merely for the pre-sale of Escape to Zarahemla. Mostly for the announcement of the long-awaited arrival--on July 28th--of the planet's newest occupant: Hunter Helaman Heimerdinger.

Amazon Adventure!

2011-06-22T20:03:00.009-06:00

Hey folks! Selling stuff (especially MY stuff!! ) has been lots of fun on Amazon. Just like my website, my Amazon name is FrostCave. I think I'm offering the lowest prices on just about everything I've listed, including new releases and golden oldies! Go to: http://www.amazon.com/shops/A3DJOE9ISPI8WO
If you are interested in one of the books listed below, click on the TITLE, not the PICTURE!

Tennis Shoes Audio Vols. 1-5: $86.95
Tennis Shoes Audio Vol. 6-10: $101.95

River Whispers: $13.49

Shadows of Brierly: The Wanderer: $13.53
Shadows of Brierly: A Far Horizon: $13.53

Sorcerers and Seers: $14.40

Whispered Visions (Songs from Passage to Zarahemla): $8.95

You're Gonna Make It!: $4.80

Passage to Zarahemla (Original Edition):
$5.95

Tennis Shoes (Books) Vols. 1-5: $50.95
Tennis Shoes (Books) Vols. 6-10: $60.95

Attack the Lusitania!: $14.95

Passage to Zarahemla DVD:
$11.75

The Perfect Fit: $13.55

Backliner for "Escape From Zarahemla"

2011-06-21T20:29:00.004-06:00

Hey, I thought I'd share the backliner that I conjured up with a little help from my publishers. Backliners for a novel are always a little overstated (and slightly corny), but I think I like the way this captures the tie-in this story will have with the Tennis Shoes series. Your comments are welcomed!!!

As the Passageway Reopens,

Mysteries and Peril Emerge.

It's been six months since the inexplicable passage to Zarahemla disintegrated and disappeared. Kerra and Brock McConnell have been reunited with their long-lost father, but an emptiness remains in Kerra's heart as she watches her Nephite warrior, Kiddoni, fade away in a vortex of time—possibly forever.

As a violent flash flood washes through the forested hollow near Leeds, Utah, it reawakens The Whistlers and reignites the mystical rift that leads to ancient America. Kerra and Brock quickly learn of multiple secrets their father did not reveal about his 12-year sojourn in the first century A.D. Everyone soon realizes that such puzzles will have mind-bending ramifications for their lives and draw them into a predicament as lethal as obsidian blades, with enemies as ruthless as the darkest savages, and evils that could destroy their family once and for all.

In the fury of adventure, Kerra and Brock McConnell find themselves in league with familiar friends from other Chris Heimerdinger novels, fighting alongside these valiant heroes and binding together Escape From Zarahemla with the wildly imaginative Tennis Shoes Adventure Series!

Revel in the wondrous spectacle as two

series of adventure novels merge into one!

Escape From Zarahemla: Manuscript Delivered

2011-06-01T22:29:00.003-06:00

That's right. What more can I add to that? Last night at about midnight I emailed to my publisher an attachment of the sequel to Passage to Zarahemla, entitled Escape From Zarahemla. The whole experience was kind of surreal, especially so late at night. I was so wrapped in every word and phrase of this novel that I felt like my objectivity had flown the coup as to whether this doggone thing was any good.

Amazing what 24 hours will do. This is a darn good book, if I do say so myself. A roller-coaster ride. Some readers may find the ending more satisfying than any book since The Golden Crown. Yup, plot elements actually resolve. Not all of it. But a lot. And the feeling is sorta cool. Dang, I like this book. It's a fun romp, not only in a unique Book of Mormon time period, but also utilizing time travel and space/time concepts that I hadn't explored before in quite the same way. It's fun. Or at least I think it's fun. How long have I been doin' this? Twenty-two years? Nice thing about it is that I've never written a book where I ever felt I short-ended the reader. Every ounce of imagination that I can muster is always brought to bear. And I think readers appreciate the results. One lazy book can compromise decades of trust. I hope I never do that to fans, no matter the money or rewards.

My publisher is apparently looking at early October for its release. I'm sure I'll pre-sell autographed copies as soon as I learn the final price or get some kind of cover. Like I said in an earlier blog, the book is longer and much more involved than the original Passage story. It's better than the original, but way too expensive to make into a movie. The trained jaguars alone...Anyway, Kerra McConnell is such a rich character with many layers and edges. I don't want to spoil any surprises, but I'll confess that there are many, and that some surprises should offer fans a satisfying adrenaline rush.

In the meantime, help me out by buy off all these Amazon books that I've posted. Go to: http://www.amazon.com/shops/A3DJOE9ISPI8WO

All orders will earn you Escape from Zarahemla chapters 3 and 4 (chapters 1 and 2 are already posted here). Just email me directly after you place an order and make the request. My special thanks to all who've done exactly that. Hey, until this book is published, Amazon feeds my family. And remember, you don't have to use Amazon. You can generally save money in shipping just by calling me directly at 801-495-0555 to place any order.

Thanks for your faith, your endurance, and your readership. I hope this goes down as another heart-pounding Heimerdinger adventure.

@Copyright June 2011, Chris Heimerdinger

Sneak Peek: Scene from "Escape From Zarahemla"

2011-05-24T19:53:00.003-06:00

Here's kind of a treat. Just a scene from Escape From Zarahemla. I hope you enjoy it:

Kerra gave a start. She was still peering into the archway below the mighty ceiba tree. Something about the scene through the wall of energy had surprised her.

"What is it?" asked her father.

"Not sure," said Kerra. "An animal. A shadow. I heard . . . some kind of growl."

Dad's response was more intense than anyone expected. "Quickly!" he directed. "Climb!"

He meant that everyone should climb the trunk of the massive ceiba tree. It was certainly bulkier and more accessible to climbing than any trees in the hollow. Kerra wasn't sure why her father had reacted so dramatically, yet something deep inside her echoed the same anxiety. Still, how would climbing this the toppled trunk of this tree protect them?

Despite their doubts, everyone acted with urgency. Dad helped his son, then Kerra, and finally Grandpa Lee to hoist themselves up the mossy branches, like steps on a ladder, until they reached the trunk's topside. Dad leaped up behind them, motioning everyone to ascend the fallen tree as high as possible, to the place where it hovered directly above the archway. At this point the tree was supported by its mushrooming limbs, so thick that it formed cavernous niches and offered multiple places to hide. Kerra made her way among the limbs, balancing herself by clinging to mossy and leaf-covered sprigs. Suddenly Dad held up his hand—a signal that everyone should remain perfectly still.

Kerra and Dad were wedged in a good position to view whatever emerged from the "rift." She studied her father's face, desperate to ask what he thought she'd seen or heard. She began to doubt the alarm bells in her gut. To her it was just a shadow—perhaps nothing at all. Her description of a "growl" seemed odd too. Why had she called it that? The more she thought about it, the more abstractly she remembered it. She couldn't really compare it to any sound she'd ever—

A subtle hissing, sizzling sound resonated below them. Kerra watched as a living thing slowly emerged from the vortex. At first she thought it was a man—someone in a bright orange cape with a mottled hood. After all, there was a collar around its neck. Its movements were lithe and sinister. Definitely an animal. A jaguar.

Kerra caught her breath. She instinctively moved her hand to her mouth to suppress any possible sound. A jaguar!—wearing a collar? And an extravagant collar at that—embossed leather with jadestone. A pet jaguar? Who could say? In any case, it was enormous. Kerra wasn't certain that she'd ever set eyes on a live jaguar before. Her memory of the large cats at the Los Angeles Zoo sort of blended together. Still, she wouldn't have expected a jaguar to be all that much larger than a leopard or mountain lion. However, the enormity of this beast reminded her of a Bengal Tiger. Its movement's were liquid, flawless. A low growl escaped its throat, eyes moving right to left across the breadth of the forest. Its actions seemed calculated, deliberate. It struck Kerra that it was thinking. Thinking like a person. Searching for something. Was it hunting? If so, what?

By the look on Dad's face, she realized he feared it was hunting them. But that seemed ridiculous unless . . . unless somehow it had sensed their presence across the rift, much the same way that she'd sensed its presence. But what about that collar? Kerra remembered seeing a collared jaguar in some Book of Mormon painting. Lying at the feet of . . . Was it King Noah? Did such an accessory mean that this creature wasn't wild? If it was some kind of pet, why should they fear it at all?

None of these thoughts squelched her feelings of alarm and fear. Every muscle of this beast was rigid and tense, as if ready to pounce and deliver a lethal strike. All at once it raised its head and sniffed the air. This movement allowed Kerra to glimpse its eyes. It took every bit of self discipline not to gasp. She'd never seen such eyes on an animal. They had a sheen of intelligence. And something else. Something black and evil. Dad pressed a finger to his lips, still pleading--urging--for everyone to remain calm and still.

The creature wandered to the place where Brock had found Hitch's leather choker. It sniffed the earth. Kerra glanced at Brock. Her brother was clenching his teeth rather crookedly. His eyes were crossed, focusing on something at the end of his nose. Kerra realized it was an insect—a large ant. It seemingly ran in a circle around the end of his nose, like a dog searching for a place to lie down. Her brother didn't budge, but the urge to slap it away dominated every thought.

Kerra felt a terrible sting on her shin. It burned as if someone had stubbed out a cigarette against her flesh. Something had bit her. She glanced down at her pants. Ants climbed all over her ankles and clothes! Ants were all over the tree. Her family had positioned itself right in the middle of an ant expressway. The bite burned and throbbed, as if the pest had bitten off a dime-sized hunk. Then came another sting, lower down on her opposite leg.

Still, Kerra did not move. Amazingly, neither did Brock. Dad and Grandpa Lee also remained like statues. The jaguar peered into the forest, scanning for prey. It seemed poised there forever. At last it turned and stalked back toward the wall of energy. Its progress was steady, yet to Kerra it moved in slow motion. At last she heard another sizzling, sucking sound. She watched until the jaguar's undulating tail slipped into the rift and disappeared. The sizzling ended.

Immediately, Kerra began slapping, swiping, and scratching ants off her body. The relief was all-encompassing as she itched a half dozen places where the insects had successfully devoured a chunk of her flesh. Brock and Grandpa were also slapping off ants. Dad's focus, however, remained riveted on the archway.

"What was it?" asked Grandpa.

"Where did it come from?" asked Brock. "A jaguar with a collar?"

"It belongs to Akuhuun," said Dad, "the son of Giddianhi, former king of the Gadiantons."

"He owns a trained jaguar?" asked Kerra.

"He owns two of them," said Dad. "Trained only for one thing. To hunt and to kill. We've just seen one of the Demon Balám."

@ Copyright Chris Heimerdinger, May 2011

First Draft Complete!!! ESCAPE FROM ZARAHEMLA!

2011-05-19T10:23:00.004-06:00

Okay, so I actually finished it the day before yesterday. I didn't make this announcement yet because I wanted to write a single "Chapter Note" for the whole book, and that's what I wrote yesterday, offering some insight on the Book of Mormon time period that is the focus of Escape, as well as starting the exhausting process of polishing the manuscript for delivery to the publisher.

Tons of action. Tons of twists. I got an email once from someone who said he wished I'd go back and write something like Gadiantons and the Silver Sword, calling it non-stop action from beginning to end. I'm not even sure I'd classify Gadiantons that way. But the idea of surprises and twists and danger around every corner was definitely on my mind. And coincidentally, both novels are about the same length.

I don't know what more I can say about it without offering up plot spoilers. Everyone knows this book ties into the Tennis Shoes series, right? I think if I said anything beyond that, it might ruin the book for that ambitious breed who buys these books hot off the shelf the very week they are released. For the others, who unfortunately get caught in a conversation with an exuberant fan who spills too many beans, all I can say is, buy earplugs. :)

In my last post I offered folks who bought stuff on my Amazon link (or who just called directly at 801-495-0555 and placed an order) an opportunity to have emailed to them Chapters 3 and 4 of Escape From Zarahemla. I'm not sure I made it clear that after ordering, you must email me directly at cheimerdinger@gmail.com and make the request because Amazon doesn't really provide your email address. Or you can just ask me to do it when you call. Remember, you save $$ by calling directly. Again, lots of stuff to sell from the old cheimerdinger.com website. I also threw in a few new releases by Anita Stansfield and others. Go to:

http://www.amazon.com/shops/A3DJOE9ISPI8WO

Many will ask me, "When can I pre-order Escape from Zarahemla?" I'm assuming around mid-summer. First the publisher has to confirm a price. It's nice if they have a cover designed as well, but not mandatory. I hope to offer a pre-sale soon. In the meantime, let me catch my breath and celebrate (for at least a minute) the completion of a new novel before I hastily dive into yet another project. Thanks for your readership and support!

@ Copyright May 2011 by Chris Heimerdinger

New Releases on Amazon!

2011-05-14T11:20:00.001-06:00

I've put up 80% of the products that I inherited from the old cheimerdinger.com webstore. It's a lot of work posting all that stuff. I've devoted most spare time to writing the sequel to Passage to Zarahemla. There are also brand new releases from authors like Anita Stansfield with her romance A Far Horizon, and my wife's new favorite cookbook called LDS Worldwide Ward Cookbook: Secret Recipes. Also find some of the greatest works from folks like:

Rachel Nunes
John Bytheway
Gerald Lund
Ron Carter
Debbie Harmon
Obert Skye
Michele Ashman Bell
Betsy Brannon Green, etc!

Many of these titles I only have ONE COPY to sell. I make a concerted effort to offer the lowest price on a brand book. Don't miss out! Go to:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/shops/storefront/index.html?ie=UTF8&marketplaceID=ATVPDKIKX0DER&sellerID=A3DJOE9ISPI8WO

I'll have a big announcement to post about Escape From Zarahemla in a few days. So...stay tuned. :)

@ Copyright May 2011 by Chris Heimerdinger