As I watched fireworks last night (yep, on Thursday - competition seems to have no boundaries) I felt a little saddened. Why? Because as great as our nation is, it is our lack of independence (you know, that oil thing) which is creating havoc these days on people’s budgets. Some of you just feel a teeny pinch, others a not-so-loving squeeze, and some are in a downright straight jacket stranglehold held in place by $144 a barrel oil.

Last time, I suggested some ways to find $$ in your budget, and oh, didn’t I smile sweetly when I read Smart Money’s suggestions on saving $500 a month. (http://blogs.moneycentral.msn.com/smartspending/?fpn=how%20to%20squeeze%20500%20out%20of%20your%20monthly%20budget) They copied me. Nah, but they concurred with much of what I said. I did, however, miss a key savings area. As I learned with the newspaper, customer loyalty is often rewarded with higher pricing. Insurance is also well-known for this illogical strategy, but hey, the old marketing rules about more $ required to find new customers than to keep old ones just don’t seem to apply with these guys. Strike your independence today and get quotes on home, car, and life insurance. You could find significant savings.

Speaking of the newspaper, through June, we’ve kept $667.33 in our pocket thanks to coupons. Deduct the $130 spent for the paper and we’ve netted about 125 gallons of gas! That, to me, is worth the couple hours a week I spend cutting and matching to sales. Yesterday alone, free bread, free salad, $1.50 a box hair color (I’m worth it!), $1.50 a package Hebrew National hotdogs, and free mustard, marinade and BBQ sauce saved me megabucks for my July 4th party (well, not the hair color - that’ll just make me a less haggard-looking hostess).

For those of you in the straight jacket, you’re probably already doing this. Some other help you might look into:

1) Check with your utility company. This week the paper announced shutoffs are up 40% in Arizona due to non-payment. It’s either gas or gas… Ours offer financial assistance for some. See if you qualify. 

2) Drugs - Now is not the time to forego your meds. Save $2 a quarter at Walmart by asking your doc to write a 90 day script. Mail order saves $ also. Ask your doc for free samples. Contact PPA - perhaps you can qualify for help.

3) Food banks, dial-a-ride etc.  - Find out about community resources and use them. When the straight jacket eases up, you can help someone else by contributing. 

Which leads me to those pinched and squeezed - I doubt those unfazed are reading a frugal blog. Darn.  It’s my belief food banks are going to be inundated. Couponing can allow you to help others without making a dent in your wallet. Chili is $.50 a can this week. With a coupon, it’s free (or darn near.) Peanut butter, pasta, pasta sauce - same. Help stock up the food banks. Why? If I can’t tug on your patriotic civic duty to help your fellow Americans, how about a truth blast about your own financial well-being? If it’s a choice between eating and gas, guess what? And, no gas means no going to work. Which means more welfare. Which means higher taxes. Which means you could find yourself wearing that straight jacket.

America is a system - a great system. Spend this fourth thinking about our service men and women, and their families, who give so much so it can remain so.  And, think about how just a little effort on your part can make lives better right here at home. Then go lose yourself in some fabulous fiction and take the weekend off from all this financial stress!

Remember: A Frugal Fiction book? $3.99. Reading to your child 15 minutes a day? Priceless!

Youu’ve seen these ads. They bombard your email box regularly. But with gas moving toward $5 a gallon, food costs skyrocketing, and your 401k shrinking, chances are you may actually be reading them now. That part of you desperate for a solution wants them to be true; wants a way to easily fix the stress of financial overload.

Note the fine print.  “… are not a guarantee …”; nor are they typical.”  Sounds just like an ad for diet aids and we all know how successful most of them are.

I’m an on-line entrepreneur.  And, in my effort to be successful, I’ve accepted much free advice from the Internet gurus who tease me with 6 figure launches and income streams that would send my grandkids through college. I’ve read, listened, and employed their tactics and guess what? At this point my grandkids are going to community college if they can get a scholarship. What I’ve learned hasn’t helped the business much, but it sure has enlightened me as a consumer.

These people are selling dreams. (Unfortunately for me and the authors I promote, I sell books.) They are psychological masters at pushing the buttons we don’t like to believe we have - hope, need, frustration, desperation. The tougher things are financially, the better they will do because they offer “solutions” to our problems. At least that’s what their sales messages say. But, how many Amway, Avon, Mary Kay, and Tupperware agents have you known? How many were successful enough to quit their day jobs? The Internet has just expanded the dream pool, and the sad truth is that when people are seeking the whistle of relief from the financial pressure cooker, these guys will do well and most of you will simply be out more dollars.

Instead of spending that $50, $100, $8000 (a figure recently quoted to me for a business jump start), on a dream, you’re better served investing it elsewhere unless you KNOW you are in that 1% echelon who will deliver atypical results. Reality is a cruel mistress (or boytoy to be politically correct). Overnight success is rarely overnight. Everyone can’t BE in that top 1%. But everyone can be frugal and realize success. What we have to do is redefine success. Success it not using the credit card this month. Success is having $20 left after paying all the bills. Success is having a garage sale and using those funds to pay the car insurance. Success is finding a barter partner.  Success is consistently applying tactics to improve your financial picture, one dollar at a time. Dream big, yes. I do. Set goals and work toward them. Absolutely.  Just make sure to practice a key tenet of frugality - skepticism - and keep those dream payments where they belong - invested in your financial future, not someone else’s.

Last Thursday’s AZ Republic (6/12) ran an Associated Press article by H. Josef Hebert, titled “Gas prices are near their peak feds say,” projecting the U.S. average to stay at around $4.15 a gallon.

Cynic that I am, I waited to see what might happen. To date, the analysis seems on target. Oil prices are sitting at about $136 a barrel today, down close to $3 from their horrendous, disgusting, budget-destroying high of $139. So… that $2 a gallon we worked to find last week, well, it’s gonna have to be a long-term effort. A 401k gutting or a 2nd mortage, which rate as 2 of the 3 WORST financial fixes we Americans can choose, are only temporary salvation that will cost you BIG in the end. 

Which leads us to today’s blog. Since frugal appears to be a word more people will have to learn, this simile adoring writer thought maybe a few comparisons might make your transition to practicing frugalite a little easier.

Frugal is like….

Yoga: I looked up the defintion (ok, many definitions) and liked this one the best:

- is a physical practice of stretching the body in different ways, focusing one’s attention, and becoming one with the universe. It uses body, breath and senses to reconnect the practitioner with the universe and move emotions and thoughts into stillness.  thenewmedicine.org/resources/definitions

Frugal means stretching (a dollar) in different ways with a focused mindset that makes you one with your financial universe so your emotional roller coaster over debt and expense halts, bringing with it a sense of calm and control over the monster money (or the lack of…).   

Gymnastics: I watched the Olympic trials last night. Such talent. But more so, gymnasts demonstrate two key frugal attributes. If you take a lesson from them, you’ll be on your way to that 10 in your savings score.

Eating, driving, entertainment, clothing, gifts - all those everyday routines (expenditures)  - kiss your ol’ notions about them bye, bye.  Frugality means flexibility - the only favorites you can have are those sites tagged on your computer.  Your ability to ‘go with the flow’ (currently defined as $$$ surging from your wallet at tsunami force every time you fill up) lets you find new saving opportunities by forging into the unknown in all areas of your budget. You learn to like pork ‘cuz it’s on sale; figure out how to make your favorite food; treasure those 2nd hand store finds; take pride in gifts you made vs bought; delight in puzzles, catch, board games.

Second, frugality means you employ your skills with every expenditure. Just as gymnasts move from the vault, to the uneven bars to the floor routine, focused and determined to increase their overall score, your goal is broad as well. Each dollar in your pocket instead of someone else’s counts toward whether you’ve won this month’s savings competition. 

Football: You have to be tough, dig in, and play hard all four quarters. It’s not something you do once or twice, but a daily ritual. You study game films (the marketplace), notice weaknesses (like stores desperate for your business) and on game day (any expenditure) you grind out a yard here, a couple more there, toward your savings goal. The other team (we call them Advertisers) constantly try to grab the football (your money) but you maintain control because, like football, you have a game plan. You can adapt it, based on game day conditions, but impulsiveness doesn’t exist in your world.  

A Marathon: It’s the long haul, not a sprint. You pace yourself, understanding when to go all out and when to kick back for a few miles. People don’t just buy things out of necessity. We buy for pleasure, self-worth, spite… If you try to ignore those realities, you won’t finish.

Chess: You have to plan two, three, four moves ahead. When will the car need tires? Or license tags? Or a tuneup? What about insurance (if you pay quarterly or annually)? An illness? Bobby’s one-time opportunity to attend camp? Things come up. Your plan has to account for them.

Painting: No, I don’t mean that house fiasco we learned from earlier. I mean the kind with a canvas and brushes and a vision - you know, creative. (I could have used writing here, too, but that seemed well, self-serving…) People who can turn $1 into $3 or $5 - they’re creative geniuses, to be awed, admired and learned from. If you could turn just 10% of your monthly expenditures…

Let’s say you spend $2000 a month. That’s $200. Now, if you could turn every $1 into $3… would that $600 help each month? People do it with creativity. Hard as this is to say… There are tons of frugal blogs out there with great tips. Use them.

And, last but not least…

Dieting: For those of you who’ve never had the pleasure, I hope one of the other similes worked for you. (and, of course, I hate you). For those of us who’ve been down this path, you know what happens. Motivation is strong, goal is clear, plan is in place. Ready, set, DIET!

But, you also know motivation is inversely correlated to how quick the pounds slip off. At first, you have success pretty regularly and the plan is easy to follow (ok, not easy, but you know, worth the pain). Then, it slows or you hit a plateau and… BAM! Screw dieting! It’s too much work! It doesn’t work anyway! I can’t succeed!!!

Understand that any long-term goal must be interspersed with rewards. You can’t diet forever or you’ll be such a cheated, sour-faced, angry person no one will want to be around the thin you anyhow. The same is true with frugality. You can’t always be frugal. What counts is moderation when you deviate from the plan. Don’t eat a 1/2 gallon of ice cream (oh, I’m sorry, they aren’t half gallons anymore - they’re… I don’t know - less for the same money - you know, corporate America’s new downsizing plan) eat one of those single serving things. Or go buy a single scoop at Dairy Queen.

With frugality, go out to dinner (without a coupon, even), buy a new hacksaw, splurge on color ink for the printer. Doesn’t matter. What counts is that YOU feel decadently unfrugal; rewarded for your diligence these past days, weeks, months. Then, get right back on the plan. Think about it. If your goal was lose 20 lbs. and you lost 10, isn’t that success? You’re half way there. Same is true with money. Maybe you wanted to save $100 and only found $50. That’s $600 a year. Not bad for “failing.”

Now that we’ve got you motivated, check out this article for some great savings tips. http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/SavingandDebt/SaveMoney/28WaysToSaveForARainyDay.aspx?page=2

And remember: A Frugal Fiction book? $3.99. Reading to your child fifteen minutes a day? Priceless!!

Oil $139 a barrel? Gas $5 a gallon by July 4th? Forget everything I said last time and just send that stimulus check to your gas card. Well, maybe take out enough to buy a bike or fix the one you have. $600 is only gonna fill your tank maybe six times. You better have another mode of transportation ready.

Okay, glass is half full right? This could actually be a godsend for the chubbiness of America. I can see the headline now, “Forced to ride bikes, America becomes the most svelte nation in the world.”

Not for you? Well, I did a little research. Gas is up 81.9% since June ‘07, which means it went for about $2.12 a year ago, leaving us with the need to make up almost $2 for every gallon of gas we use. http://tonto.eia.doe.gov/oog/info/gdu/gasdiesel.asp)

Now, June ‘07 the minimum wage was $5.15. In July it moves to $6.55. That’s a 27% increase, an additional $1.40 an hour (well, not really cuz after taxes…) Let’s just say we see an extra $1 an hr. Still $1 a gallon light and I’m not calculating gas at $5. Better plan for finding $2 a gallon in your budget.

Let’s say you fill up once a week, we’ll use 20 gallons for this exercise. That’s $40, or $160 to $200 a month. Where is it going to come from?

1) The most obvious answer is, we have to use less gas. Whether it’s carpooling, riding the bike, walking, skipping trips, or efficiently routing trips, you may be able to save 2 gallons a week. We’ll say 10 gallons a month, or $20 we pocketed. Only $180 more to go…

2) Cell phones aren’t a necessity, but once you signed that contract, you’re stuck. If you have any extra services, delete ‘em. If your kids have those “add a line for 9.99,” do they really need it? If you’re going over on minutes, stop. Let’s face it. You’ll be home more. You can actually talk to your kids, use the regular phone, or instead of texting all those thoughts that cross your mind, send an email. If you have a regular phone and cell phone, maybe cancel the the regular one. We’ll say you found a $20 savings. ($160 left)

3) Cable. Because you’re home more, this may be hard, but drop the premium channels. Go for a walk, play catch, do a puzzle with the kids, read. Actually, I have a use for that time coming up. Savings: $15 a month. (Down to $145…)

4) Barter. “As the economy slows, a growing number of consumers are trying to find a wider market for their goods and services by offering to barter them.” http://www.azcentral.com/business/consumer/articles/2008/06/04/20080604biz-GoodsBarter-04.html

Craigslist is great for free postings. Can you offer some service in exchange for something you need? Babysit for a tuneup? Do lawncare for a computer upgrade? Cook or grocery shop for someone housebound in exchange for your own babysitting?  If you have a talent, someone else will need it, and their budget looks like yours. Find them and you both benefit. Here’s hoping you dented that gas bill by another $20. (My God, still another $125 to go…)

5) Swap stuff with others - green in more ways than one. USA Weekend (5/30 - 6/1) offered some sites to help you save the landfills. I see the potential to save some green, too. Neighborrow.com lets you trade or borrow items you don’t use often, and on Freecycle.org people ‘gift’ items they don’t want anymore. I don’t know what you can save here, but for some, probably a decent amount. I won’t give it a value, so $125 and holding.

6) School is just around the corner. Many probably counted on the stimulus checks to fill the kids’ closets. Why not get to know your neighbors and have a clothes swapping party? “Yeah, right. My kid won’t wear hand-me-downs!” you sputter. If they’re old enough to complain, they’re old enough for a little lesson in finance. Use it as a math lesson, Have them do the calculations. Start building a fiscally prudent individual now and you’ll save them years of pain later. Besides, if all the neighbor kids are doing it, it’ll go down easier. Just bring all the clothes together and let them pick. Again, I’m not going to give this a value, but offer it as another way to ‘find’ money. (Getting nervous here, where am I going to find that $125?)

7) Cook. Take your lunch. Fast food is out. It’s a trip you don’t need to make, calories you don’t need, and expensive. Just taking your own coffee or soda for the trip to work and skipping the convenience store will save $20 a month (or more.)  Brown bagging it? Probably another $100 easily. We’re down to choices here - convenience or gas? Because I’m guessing, frugal that you are, you’re already limiting this cash vacumn, we’ll estimate you found another $25. Just $100 to go.

  Sweat. Check out this site for tips on how to save on cooling,  which is 16% of the total electric most houses use. http://michaelbluejay.com/electricity/cooling.html. Your skin will glow, toxins will leave your body, and cash will stay put. Let’s say your “sweat” equity from these tips is $10. Whew, under $100 - $90 more to find… This is tough folks. (Yeah, like you didn’t already know that.)

9) Food. With everyone telling us food is ALSO going up, how do you save here? Be flexible. Eat what’s on sale. Skip anything processed - no chips, cookies, crackers, ready-made whatever. If you don’t have to cook it or can’t eat it raw, don’t throw it in your basket. (well, tp’s okay, I mean, we’re talking food) Be diligent with the coupons - not just using them, but matching them to sale items for more bang. Be creative. Rice +meat + a canned veggie or soup (or both) makes a casserole that goes further and costs less than if you serve mean & rice seperately. Bake - it’s a fun thing to do with the kids and costs less than prepackaged snacks. Make koolaid pops instead of buying ice cream. Drink water instead of soda. Things you may have counted as necessities before (like my Diet Pepsi) are going to have to become treats. You can do it! I see another $20 staying in your wallet (that’s only $5 a week.) $70.

10) Gifts. With Father’s Day next Sunday, I searched yesterday’s ads for a Frugal Find. Which got me thinking. The media has trained us to think love, appreciate, devotion, etc. require a big expenditure. Time to retrain our brains that time, not money, can equate to those things. Instead of a $4 card, make him one like you did as a child (another great bonding project with your own kids, too if you have them help.) Put together a picture album of memories you have with him and tell him what they meant to you. The same concepts apply to any gift giving occasion. Make your effort the gift. Send a free email card - send ten of them. Overwhelm them with what really matters - you, not J.C. Penney’s. Most of us can save $5 a month with this change in attitude. $65…

11) Use the thrift store. Clean out your closets and consign all those great clothes that don’t fit anymore. Sell stuff on ebay that you really don’t need. Maybe you and a neighbor can co-purchase a lawn mower. Or you buy it and charge him $5 a week for lawn service. You’re gonna have to think outside the box for ways to save and/or generate cash. A second job, often the first thing that comes to mind during financial stress, can actually reduce your cash flow - more gas, additional babysitting costs, higher taxes. If you go that route, make sure you did the math exercise and your net cash flow is positive.

12) If you use your stimulus check to pay down bills, you have that monthly expense reduction. If you sent it to the gas card, you saved yourself $200 bucks for three months, or $50 a month over the course of a year. Pay the $150 each month and use $50 from the gas card. You just about cover the $65 shortfall.

And, that leaves me speechless. I can’t think of anymore ways to find that $65. Hopefully, I’ve underestimated your savings and you’re flush. Hopefully, you have tips to share that will cover that deficit and maybe put us in the black. Let’s face it - this isn’t a short-term problem.

Remember: A Frugal Fiction book? Just $3.99 Reading to your child 15 minutes a day? Priceless!

(Hiding from financial realities in fiction? A great way to save your sanity for a few hours.)

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Soon, that check will arrive. $600 or $1200 or ??? depending on how many munchkins bring joy and expense your way.

Like the tax refund, here comes another cash windfall, an even better one since you didn’t expect it. But, and don’t be fooled by Uncle Sam, it comes with that psychological trigger many can’t name but most fall prey to. It’s a theory called “reciprocity.”

Reciprocity is the glue of Internet Marketing. Give me your email address and I’ll give you something free. So, we do, because, well, we’re frugal which means free is tough to ignore, and then the emails arrive: monthly, daily, weekly, always giving us more free stuff, until, finally, guilt overwhelms us and we BUY. After all, I mean, look at all the value we didn’t pay for…

So, where’s reciprocity in these checks? Start with the name. Economic Stimulus. The government is tapping into your patriotism, subtly making YOU responsible for the economy’s health. It’s up to YOU to stimulate the economy because we gave you something “free.” (Yeah, like that won’t just be tacked onto the national debt…)

If you’re like me, truthfully, you love the good ol’ USA, but the economy that most interests you is your own! God helps those and all that. So, before that check arrives, steel yourself, and budget that money for the long haul. (after all, you’ll be paying it back at least that long.)

To help, here are my tips for using that economic stimulus check to stimulate YOUR economy. 

1) Pay off any of those no interest for 12, 18, 24 months accounts you might have. I just checked one of mine and guess what? If I miss the due date, they want almost $500. It’s definitely getting my stimulus check!

2) Grocery’s - Fry’s in Phoenix (Krogers in other places) is offering 10% off if you buy gift cards in $300, $600, or $1200 increments. If this deal is offered in your area, think about it. Chances are, you don’t normally have $300 or $600 to invest in future purchases. But, now you do. You’ll be buying groceries no matter what happens so why not save 10% immediately?

3) Christmas Club - When I was a kid (you know, like awhile ago) my parents had a Christmas Club account. They put aside $5 or $10 a week to pay for Christmas. Banks no longer offer that kind of account, but put the money away now and you won’t be making credit card payments next year.

Notice I didn’t say pay off a credit card? Why? Most of us pay it off only to charge it up again. If you SWEAR to pay it off and not charge it up again, pay if off. Otherwise, it’ll fritter away and you won’t know where you spent it.

4) Send a chuck of change to your gas card, you know, like carry a credit balance on the account. Why? You have to buy that liquid gold, which only seems inclined to increase in price. If you prepay, you have gas at your disposal and you won’t spend the $ anywhere else.

Note: I said GAS card, not credit card. See #3 above.

5) Take care of medical stuff: annual visits, teeth cleanings, etc. - you know, the items you want to do regularly but the budget never seems to have enough flex in to allow.

6) Do maintenance. Buy those energy efficient light bulbs. Have the refrigeration unit cleaned. Do auto tuneups. Did you know spark plugs have coils that you’re supposed to replace every 30,000 miles? Me neither. But, a small investment in your vehicle will help extend that credit balance you have on the gas card. Any project that will make your life more energy efficient will also make your stimulus check keep on paying long after it’s gone.

7) Make an extra house payment, rent payment, car payment, pay car insurance for six months or a year. (Which doesn’t mean you skip the payment next month and take a trip to Cancun.) The key is to ‘pay it forward’ so you have some breathing room if you need it.

  And, finally, splurge!

WHAT? All these rational ideas and now I say “Splurge.” Yes, do something (preferably small) that will allow you to fulfill your patriotic urges and help ol’ Uncle Sam out. Actually, it’s not for him - it’s for you. Living frugal can be overwhelming day in and day out. It can be exhausting and frustrating and down right depressing at times to always be watching pennies when everyone else seems to be flush in dollars. Take the kids to the waterpark or bbq T-bones instead of chuck steak. Whatever you do, reward yourself for your sound wisdom and restraint when that check arrives.

 Have more ideas? Let us know, and remember,

A Frugal Fiction children’s book: $3.99. Reading to your child fifteen minutes a day? Priceless!!

I’ve been a blogging derelict of late. No frugal tips, no newspaper updates, not much help at all except for announcing five wonderful new entries to the Frugal Fiction library. And, why is that? I DIDN’T put down that paint brush - not for almost a month in fact.

Like many of you who allow the government to use  save your money during the year, the ol’ refund arrived. What to do with it? Since it’s unlikely I could amass the same dollars to spend in one place during the year, it seemed like a windfall worthy of a noble endeavor. For us, that became Paint the House - Outside.

Now, if you’re a D-I-Y dynamo, you can skip this frugal lesson. If, like me, you had to find out what the acronym meant, (do-it-yourself) best to read on.

Frugal is often a two part decision - time vs money. Quotes for someone else to sweat, clean paint out of their hair and fingernails, and teeter atop a too-tall ladder made our time seem, well pretty darn valuable. We could do it. What’s the big deal? Pour the paint in a pan, stick that roller-thingie in the pan, and well, roll. How hard is that?

HA! HARD!

Here’s what I learned:

1) There’s this thing called ‘prep’ work. People forget to account for stuff like wood filler and elastomeric paint and caulk, which requires a gun… Before you paint, you have cracks to fill in the trim or the block or the stucco. That stuff ain’t cheap. And, it takes TIME to do. Our block house looked like one of those old data processing punch cards we had so many hairlines cracks to fill. (Block doesn’t crack, but trust me, it moves, and the stucco doesn’t.)

2) Wood should be painted more than say, once every eight years, at least out here in Arizona. It sucked up paint better than that Wet/Dry Vac I fought with Sears about ever sucked up anything.

3) Once you ‘visit’ your house, I mean take a really good look at it, more projects will show themselves. It’s like noticing that first cobweb on the ceiling. Then you see another, and oh, there’s that dirt over there, and uhm, probably ought to dust the plant shelves. Whatever you estimated for the job, add 20% at least for the other stuff you’ll end up doing. For us, that included painting the patio table, which, of course, meant buy new chair cushions, rebuilding the hot tub steps, fixing the pond skimmer, staining the hot tub… See what I mean? Stuff! Which takes TIME and MONEY. 

Okay, so the place is prepped, and we buy the paint, which is supposed to cover 250 to 400 sf. per gallon. Maybe - if you have no gusts, breeze, or wind movement at all. (I guess you guys from Chicago can skip this post, too. ) And, you don’t drop any. And, your aim is perfect so that thin coat is equally thin at all points, and, well, you painted that trim maybe once or twice during the last eight years…

We rented a sprayer for the house. And, oh, if you’re doing the house, guess you should do the block fence, too, and those privacy walls, well they had cracks and needed paint. Original estimate? 25 gallons for the house. Actual usage - 37 gallons to date. Hubby is tackling the patio ceiling cracks for the #*^&! time. I’m hoping we don’t require another gallon to repaint it.

FRUGAL TIP: Buy more than you estimate. You’re not a professional. We bought during a rebate program. The extra 10 gallons didn’t come with the $20 rebate, costing us $40 more than if we’d bought it all at once. A second issue? When you buy all at once, the colors match better. If the paint store has to reload color it’s a new lot, and the machine may be working differently, and… The darker your color, the more noticable variances will be.

Trim paint? Estimate - 2 gallons. DUMB!! FOOLISH! Should have bought the 5 gallons for $69 with a $20 rebate instead of 2 gallons at $26 each, which led to 2 more gallons… Or, even better:

FRUGAL TIP: Check out the paint mistakes and buy those $5 gallons for the primer coat. We could have saved close to $100. That our nosey neighbor would have freaked as we brushed light pink, tan, and mint green on the trim would have been fun, too.  So long as the colors are lighter than your actual trim color, you save big $.

Did I mention how smart we were on that sprayer? Yep, ran in at 8:59 pm so we could experience the full 24 rental hours. Up at daybreak, spraying our little hearts out. All day. Dark sets in. Scrub, clean, take a toothbrush to that sprayer ‘cuz there’s no way we’re going to pay the $100 cleaning fee. Returned at 8:45 pm. Great job! Except…

We weren’t done. Not even close. We needed it for another day  - so $200 vs the $100 we estimated. Learning to use the darn thing (which is much more difficult than it seems during that 5 min. “let’s spray some water so you can see how easy it is” lesson you get at the store) took several hours.

In the end, we did the job for less than half the cheapest quote. However, it took us a month, on and off, to finish the job. Granted, we completed other jobs, and probably tackled the project with far greater attention to detail than the professional would have  (I doubt he’d have loving addressed every wood crack as we did), but at what true cost?

FRUGAL TIP: We didn’t shop ads - actually, we didn’t shop much. We ate out, ALOT! Calculate this cost in your estimate.

FRUGAL TIP: Do not buy those cheap plastic drop cloths. Buy the paper instead to cover windows, and real drop cloths for the ground. The hours we wasted trying to manage fluttering cellophane can’t be counted. Papered windows (done in advance) and ground covering that didn’t require eight point pin downs every 12′ might have saved us day 2 of the sprayer. Maybe not, but it sure would have saved us lots of aggravation.

FRUGAL TIP: That fancy blue painter’s tape? Not necessary unless you’re doing inside walls (learned that from the Glidden guy after already using a couple of those expensive rolls.) It’s going in the garbage, folks. Plain ol’ masking tape works just fine.

FRUGAL TIP: If you don’t have the right equipment… Every tried to spray an 18′ wall from a 12′ ladder? Not safe and not efficient in either time or materials. Trees, rocks, us, the ladder, roof tiles - all probably had more paint on them than the area we were attempting to paint. In retrospect, we should have done the bottom portion and hired someone to do the upper portion, say, someone who had a 16′ ladder and no fear of heights. Hubby plastered flat on the roof, one arm hanging over the edge, trying to slap paint on trim he couldn’t see as I directed from the ground… Let’s just say, some of the language might remind you of the ‘best of’ from labor at ten centimer dialation. (Psst: painters are cheaper than divorce attorneys)

Another thing I learned:

Glue guns should start a new ad campaign: We’re more than just arts and crafts. This is a really neat tool! I attached the pond skimmer netting to the metal frame after the plastic that held it in place shattered. Savings: $15 or more for a new skimmer. Then, those little cracking plastic covers became one with the patio table legs. No more finding and reattaching to keep from scraping up the patio. Saved the glass door squeegee, too, with a little glue. That’s probably $10 or more I didn’t have to spend now, but it also kept ‘em out of the landfill for awhile. Rebuilding and repairing save more than just $.

The best thing? I rebuilt the hot tub stairs. (These, also, I should probably stain a tad more often.) Anyhow, the steps were splitting, peeling, just plain unsafe. But, the underside? Perfect. Untouched by sun damage. For $7 in redwood screws, I turned the boards over and rebuilt the steps. New steps would have been a couple hundred dollars or more. The grandkids’ feet torn to shreds? Can’t put a price on their safety.

And, just to be really current, I tallied up where I stand on paying for the newspaper. Through May, after making that $130 investment in tree-killing, I’m $474 to the good, on target to make that expenditure return me 500% or better. Now, if I could do something about the 401k…

Remember: A Frugal Fiction book: $3.99. Reading to your child 15 minutes a day? Priceless!!

Will Hillary stay ’til the bitter end? What skeletons have yet to be uncovered in Obama’s closet?  Does John McCain even live to complete in November?

Sounds more like a fiction novel than an election, but this year’s campaign has delivered the kind of intensity and twists we normally find in a good book. Still, if you’re tired of the slams, slaps and snottiness of real people trashing each other, maybe a reprieve is in order.

Try Randy McKay’s Or One Depraved Individual for a mystery that seems to bring a new body everytime the sun comes up. How long will it take seasoned detectives Jack Sloan and Carter Blaine to find the killer … or killers?

Or enjoy the the dark side of vampires, aliens, and the paranormal in Valena Graham’s horror novel, Eternity of Blood,  where gorgeous Navy Pilot Gareth Hunter hides his secret well in the light of day until a beautiful paranormal investigator crosses his path. The mysterious alien council arrive with an ominous message and send the couple to the future where Gareth must sacrifice it all and take up the fangs again to stop Damian and prevent the vampire wars.  Is he too late as the streets run red with blood during a hurricane?

Prefer a lighter side? Valena Graham offers us her chick-lit western romance, Debutante Gunfighter where we meet Ariana Crosby whose best friend is a forty-five tied low on her left hip. But the southern belle discovers life ain’t like in her famous daddy’s stories, and the gentler sex aren’t welcome in the masculine world of gunfighters. The lady knows that those who live by the gun never retire, they die. Can she find a way to survive and be with the man she loves, handsome fellow gunhawk Nick Masters?  

If you’re not quite ready for beach-reading yet, we also have two intelligent new offerings.

Auntie Lynn delivers an education on healthy eating for kids (and adults, too - do you know what a lychee is?) in her effort to help prevent the raging obesity which is making diabetes an international health issue.

And, for those who’d like to better understand this thing we call democracy, get comfortable with Frank Trejo’s A Citizen’s Manifesto - What You Didn’t Learn in School. 

Frugal Fiction has lots of other great diversionary reads, too. After all, it’s a LONG time ’til November.  Enjoy the free previews and we’re sure the $3.99 to finish each piece will seem like a bargain. Why, that’s barely a gallon of gas these days… something none of the candidates seems able to address. 

 Obesity is a raging problem that often starts in childhood. Treat  your child to Auntie Lynn’s magical explanations about healthy eating in The Magical Scarecrows Garden, and perhaps together we can stem the escalation of deadly diabetes.

Come meet us, ten Magical Scarecrows who have been breathed to life by Mother Earth in ten different countries. As scarecrows it is our job to look after fields and orchards so we know when not enough healthy foods are being eaten.

It worried us that not everyone is eating the right foods to grow up strong and healthy and so we thought we would call to one another across the winds that whisk around the world to find out a bit more about these fruits and vegetables. When we asked Mother Earth for help she brought one fruit or vegetable to life in each country where there lives a Magical Scarecrow for one night each to join us on our adventures! What a special magical surprise! Would you like to know what happens? Are you ready? Okay, cool, then here we go.

Remember: A Frugal Fiction Book? Just $3.99. Reading to your child 15 minutes a day? Priceless!

    We live in a democracy, but what does that really mean?

Frugal Fiction is proud to offer Frank B. Trejo’s ebook, The Citizen’s Manifesto - What You Didn’t Learn in School to our selections for only $3.99. With a touch of humor, Trejo delivers lessons about what our Founding Fathers intended and the democracy we face today. It’s a lesson every American should take. (G)  

When retailers fail to deliver, the frugal among us find it doubly insulting. Others spent cash. We also invested time & energy. After all, we don’t spend frivolously. Endcaps are not designed for us. We decided to let go of our $$ for this item. And, now, those dollars are wasted. We feel cheated. SOMEONE is going to pay!!!

STOP there!

There is an art to turning frustration into compensation and it starts with,

1) Do nothing. 

What? I’m angry, I’m mad. And you want me to “Do Nothing?”

Yes, exactly. Because you are angry, mad, frustrated. Those emotions generate more of the same from the person on the receiving end, and most times, little else. Seldom do I address the issue at the store level. If they delivered customer service, I wouldn’t have an issue. This is the time to take notes, record the event in your mind, get names, dates, times, etc.  Venting is great for relieving frustration. It is not great for achieving results.

Let me give you an example. You’ve had a lousy meal. When you pay your bill the person asks, “How was everything?” You reply, “Our food was cold and we had to send out an SOS to find our server.” He chuckles, “Yeah, Susie oughta be retired but the dot.com bust did her in.” 

This is not a person who will deliver any satisfaction. Pay your bill and get his name, too.

2) Once you’re calm, it’s time to write the company. Check out their website. See what their mission statement is. If it’s a small company without a website, call and find out who the owner is so you can send a letter. 

3) Start with a compliment.

“Are you serious? A compliment? This is a complaint! I don’t have anything nice to say!!!”

Find something. You chose that merchant for a reason. State it. Remember, anger is not part of this equation.

EX: “I love your grilled bananas. No one else has anything close. (wisely, I might add)

3) State the visit details - date, time, person(s) you interacted with. Be a reporter. Give facts, not feelings about the situation.

EX: On April 11 at 11:18 am, receipt #12867597, I visited your Southpole location for those yummy grilled bananas. We were not seated for ten minutes because the greeter was on his cell phone discussing the Mavericks chances this year. When we were seated, our server, Susie, yelled across the room, “Hang on.” We hung on for another ten minutes. We ordered and waited twenty minutes. Our grilled bananas were cold charcoil briquets. We couldn’t locate Susie, or anyone else. The water we had to request did have a nice, cold, not-too-chloriney taste, however.

4) Now, you can express some feelings, in your sweetest, most respectful way of course.

EX: We left very disappointed because we had accumulated our coupon savings for over three weeks to enjoy this treat.

5) Tell ‘em why you wrote.

EX: I understand that you can’t be on site all the time, and wanted you to know about our poor experience. With all the competition out there serving yummy grilled bananas I know you want to deliver a great experience so customers come back. 

6) Close with more kind words.

EX: I hope my information will help you so next year your grilled banana sales triple.

7) Wait.

Now, who could ignore that? YOU are not complaining! YOU care about THEM. YOU are helping THEM improve their business! YOU are a wonderful human being worthy of a reward! Go enjoy your results, be they a coupon, gift card, or refund.

Will you always win? No. Will you win more often than not? Absolutely. And, a reward is far more satisfying than telling ten of your friends or getting it off your chest!