Matthew Aaron Fry

Out of the Boat

2019-11-04T10:26:00.000-05:00

have you ever felt like you were on the verge of something that could possibly be a milestone in your life? one of those moments where in 15-20 years you're going to look back and point to as the moment everything changed? maybe you had to make a difficult or impossible decision, but you knew it was the next step towards that moment?

whenever i find myself in a moment like this i always look back to peter walking on water with Jesus. it's easy for the actual act of walking on water to overshadow the seconds in peter's life he stepped out of the boat. what would have been going through his head? what kind of fears or doubts could he have had? what were those around him thinking? what separated peter from the other disciples? were the other disciples too scared to speak up?

at one point my oldest child would let her fear of the unknown hold her back. to say she refused to try anything adventurous is an understatement. when she placed a stake in the ground that she wasn't doing something - it wasn't happening. my wife and i refused to be the parents that ~~forced~~ took their screaming child onto a ride or experience.

it wasn't until she was maybe 6 or 7 that she began to understand that often there's only one opportunity to do something. more often than not once we began the ride home she would unload her disappointment how she didn't get to do "insert random activity here" because she was scared. time after time my wife and i would comfort her, but let her know that sometimes we let our fear hold us back from doing something we really want to do.

i am proud to say that last fall when our family went to disneyland for the first time she road space mountain and big thunder mountain. these were two rides that my wife and i thought we would never get to ride with one of our very timid children.

my children have changed my perspective on life in so many ways. to see their sense of imagination, creativity and passion for various things in life helps motivate me to be more child-like. they've helped me to ask why more often and to push boundaries. maybe Jesus was on to something when he said, "truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."

so what about you? what fear is holding you back from that next experience, adventure or risk?

I Made My Daughter Cry

2012-04-03T14:29:00.000-04:00

My wife and I just finished an awesome week of vacationing in the Smoky Mountains. If you've never been; you should go! We aren't into the whole "tourist trap" stuff...$60 per person for a dinner and mediocre talent in the show....no thanks. So we stuck mostly to the National Forest trails and enjoying God's creation.

We had decided we wanted to go to the highest point in the Appalachian Trail called "Clingman's Dome." We hopped in my in-laws Jeep and ventured along the winding roads that hug the mountainside. As we climbed higher and higher we started to see other hikers dressed in gloves, hats and thick jackets. This caused me to think that my shorts and t-shirt were not a great choice for a 4+ mile hike.

Once we reached the top we stepped out of the jeep and discovered we had clearly underestimated the temperature difference between normal elevation and being 6500+ feet in the mountains and that the fog was crazy thick. Due to the cold we decided to cut the hike short and just walk to the top of Clingman's Dome to check out the view (which we knew there would be none).

Some of our party needed to use the restroom and so the rest of us were standing around. I had my daughter in my arms and had her wrapped in a blanket to keep her extra warm.

And then it happened...

A wind gust blew the blanket out my hand and exposed my daughter to the cold air. I quickly reached for the edge of the blanket with my free arm as my daughter decided to make a maneuver to free herself from my grasp.

It was one of those moments that happens in slow motion. Where you know the disaster that is getting ready to happen, but you can't do anything about it. I let out an audible yell (I say yell..my mother-in-law says scream...I choose to believe it was a very deep/manly yell) as I watched my daughter plummet towards the ground. It was like a car crash that takes so long, but everything after is such a blur.

I remember bending down and picking her up expecting to see blood, but there was none. My mind ran 50,000 miles per hour. Flashbacks of every conversations my wife and I had had about parents who had dropped their kids and what happened to their children ran through my head. I imagined my daughter losing her teeth or having brain damage because I was careless for a fraction of a second.

I handed my daughter to my wife and knew that I had to get away from the situation. I walked away with my hands on my head because I felt like I had had the wind knocked out of me. It was a mixture of not being able to breath and feeling like I was going to be able to say that I had thrown up at 6500 feet. I paced back and forth hoping to wake up from this nightmare, but it was reality.

My father-in-law came to the rescue and came and assured me that all parents have been there. Where a split second decision or lack of attention causes an incident that we will never forget.

My daughter is fine and only had a scrape on her head and finger, but I was shaken for quite a long time. I couldn't stop holding on to her and the smile on her face means so much more to me after the fall. As a result I'll be way more cautious about handling my amazingly beautiful piece of love.

A Spark

2012-03-21T11:40:00.002-04:00

The other day my father-in-law asked me to help him clear some trees that were causing him issues on his property. We cut them down and then drug them over into a large pile and burned them. As the day went on and we began to slow down the fire that was once roaring...turned into just smoke. I kept piling stuff on, but there was no flame.

All it took was one spark.

I was cutting down more trees when I heard a loud popping and crackling. I looked over and saw that the fire that was, a few minutes before, just a bunch of smoke...was now burning again.

The youth group in which I am currently serving is a lot like this fire. 4-5 years ago the youth group was roaring. Students graduated and over time the group turned into just smoke. We're currently in that "just smoke" stage, but the fire gave me hope. It was a reminder from God that all that it takes is one student to "get it" and to begin to tell their friends about what God is doing in their life through our ministry.

The purpose of ministry isn't to have the biggest "fire," but to help students connect with Him. That is my goal. To have a ministry that is constantly feeding this fire by connecting students with their creator.

So what's it going to take to get that one spark?

Junior High & Children's Ministry - A non-negotiable

2012-01-30T22:34:00.001-05:00

Today I had the privilege of subbing for one of the local schools. I am subbing so that I can not only form relationships with teachers, coaches and key administrative figures within the district, but to be with students. We as youth pastors always expect for students just to come to us on our turf. To meet us on our own grounds. When do we return the favor?

Today I was asked to fill in for a teacher who was going to be missing the second half of the day. It was a very easy schedule and the students were gone to activities (music and computers) for most of the day, but there was a period of time where the students had 25 minutes of silent reading time. I wanted to model good behavior for them so I read the book that I had brought with me called "Junior High Ministry."

In the first few pages it gives this shocking graph...

I'm blessed to work for a church that supports my ministry. That the church board has given me resources to work with to help me in my ministry. If your church does not support children's or junior high ministry...show them the above graph.

When we realize that after the age of 14 the statistics are against us..it helps us to realize the importance of this group. Our excuses that junior high students are awkward. That they smell. That they are brutally honest. That they make us uncomfortable. All of those excuses don't matter.

We have to train up and equip leaders to see this idea. That we have to love students for who they are, not for who we want them to be. We have to see them how Jesus sees them.

They're worth it.

Purpose Driven

2012-01-16T18:41:00.000-05:00

I never bought into the hype of Rick Warren's "Purpose Driven Life" books...I'm the type of guy that judges a book by it's cover and I'm sorry @RickWarren, but your cover wasn't very appealing to me. His former youth pastor @DougFields put out "Purpose Driven Youth Ministry" after the success of "Purpose Driven Life." I thought it was just a spin-off trying to make as much money on the idea as possible, but since I got it for Christmas I decided to give it a shot.

I'm only a few chapters into it and I already know that it's going to have a huge impact on my life as a youth pastor and as a father and husband. Maybe after I finish it I could give "Purpose Driven Life" a chance....maybe I'll just throw away the book cover and pretend it doesn't look like it's written for the AARP crowd.

I preach tomorrow...

2012-01-14T23:00:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow I will be setting aside my typical blue jeans and the popular "youth pastor button up plaid shirt" for actual dress clothes. Our senior pastor is out of town and as the only other member on our staff I've been asked to fill the pulpit.

I rehearsed my talk tonight infront of my wife and about 30 seconds into my talk she stopped me and asked, "Why do you do that with your voice?" I hasn't offended because I knew what she was talking about. It seems that every time I get up to do a talk that I get nervous and my vocal cords tighten up. I have a ton of experience at speaking and I'm not sure why it does it, but it does. She challenged me to imagine myself speaking to just one person in the audience. To carry a conversation on with them and to tune out the rest of the people in the room.

So in that moment I took a deep breath and prayed a silent prayer for help. In that silent prayer I prayed that God would speak through me. That God would use me in a way like He never has before. I prayed for His strength.

It is amazing how, even in practicing a talk, God can speak to you. Tomorrow I'm challenging myself to take the advice that my wife gave me. To step out of the "I'm giving a rehearsed speech" persona and into the "I am having a conversation with you" mentality.

Pray that God speaks through me. Pray that He doesn't allow any hiccups in the technology. Pray that He is given all of the credit.

maf

Sky Zone Indy Review

2012-01-13T15:24:00.002-05:00

When I saw that Sky Zone Indy was opening in Indianapolis I knew I had to take our youth group as soon as possible before it got too busy. We waited until after the holidays and sure enough..they started having sessions that were sold out.

Sky Zone Indy is located at 10080 East 121st Street in Fishers, IN. It's a great location that is easy to get to from multiple directions.

It is heavily suggested that if you are planning to attend that you purchase your jump passes online in advance (or make reservations through calling them to avoid the online transaction fees).

It is the ideal spot for birthday parties, group outings or a fun family night to reward the kids for a good report card or losing a tooth. Their prices are: 30 minutes for $9, 60 minutes for $13, 90 minutes for $17 or 120 minutes for $20 (prices include shoe rental and sales tax). Our group jumped for 60 minutes and felt that it was an appropriate amount of time. 30 minutes would have been too short, but anything over 60 minutes and we would have been so tired we would have crawled out of the front doors.

We walked in the door and within 5 minutes had our shoes and were ready to jump. To expedite the process it is suggested that you insure that you have all of the waivers signed by a parent/legal guardian in advance. I overheard there are options if an individual doesn't have a form signed by his/her parent, but it is a lot easier for you and for them if you bring the forms signed in advance (if you are going as a family or individuals this wouldn't be an issue unless you're bringing your kid's friends.)

The customer service is definitely top of the line (which is a rarity these days). The employees seemed to enjoy their job and get satisfaction in making sure that everyone had a great (and safe) time.

My only suggestions for the location:

1. Encourage parties to migrate towards the tables to the right to put their shoes on. When we walked in there was a large group of children putting their shoes on in the entryway which made it awkward stepping over 10-15 children.

2. More storage space for putting items while you are jumping.

3. Don't allow all of the dodgeball courts to be reserved. We had a few students disappointed they didn't get to play dodgeball because the courts had been reserved by parties.

4. One word....GROUPON! :-)

OVERAL:

This is definitely going to be a huge success. I love the fact that they limit the amount of people who are able to participate so it does not get over ally crowded. Our session was sold out and only a few times did I have any issues with being worried about bumping into someone. Even if you're a parent and not into jumping on a trampoline they make it easy for parents to watch their kids jump. Highly recommend! We will be returning in the future (with more students)!

CLICK HERE for their website

Sky Zone Indy
317-572-2999
skyzoneindy@gmail.com
10080 East 121st Street, #182, Fishers, IN 46037

View Larger Map Driving Directions

Project 26/26 - UPDATE

2012-01-05T21:46:00.000-05:00

One of my goals for this year in my Project 26/26 was to read 24 books during this year. Having an iPad now really makes it a lot easier to get in my reading time. So far I have completed 3 books. They include:

Tim Tebow - Through My Eyes
Jodi Picoult - Sing You Home
Greg Stier - Ministry Mutiny

All great books that I'd suggest giving a chance. In the past I have found myself reading nothing but books on ministry or theology. I have decided that I'm going to start a rotation. I will read 1 biography, 1 non-fiction book and 1 ministry/theology book in that rotation.

Stars

2012-01-04T22:59:00.000-05:00

Up until recently my life was spent in the middle of town. I remember falling asleep to a room that was only partially dark because of the street lights outside my room. It wasn't until my wife and I moved into a house that is in the middle of no where that I realized how light my bedrooms had always been.

Tonight I stepped out to let our dogs out when I noticed how truly dark it was outside. It is amazing how dark it can get when you get away from street lights and card headlights. I looked up and saw the sky filled with stars and had my breath taken away. The stars look so much more beautiful in the country than in the city.

As I stood there taking in all that I was seeing I couldn't help but feel small. I couldn't help but realize how big our universe truly is and how little I am. When you feel small it makes the stuff that we stress about and the things that make us feel busy...seem so much smaller.

Become a Visitor

2011-12-17T20:21:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I made a trip over to one of the local high schools. I had been by there before, but always for a sporting event when I was in high school. As I pulled into the parking lot I began to get that butterfly feeling in my stomach. I get that feeling whenever I find myself in a new situation or around people that I don't know very well.

I followed the signs that would lead me to the superintendents office and I found a parking spot close to the doors. I looked up and noticed there were several sets of doors and all had the tint so dark that you couldn't see what was on the other side. I tried to play it off like I knew where I was going, but inside I had no idea.

I walked up to the door as I pulled on the doorknob I had a George Bush moment...I pulled on the door and it just wouldn't open. My nervousness turned into a panic when I looked and saw there were about 10 doors that I would have to try. I had 2 thoughts...I'm trying to go into the wrong doors and am going to get pepper sprayed by some security guard...or...there are other people on the other side laughing at me right now. I finally found the 1 door out of 10 that was unlocked. I quickly looked around for where I was to go next and found one door that was not labeled that had a receptionist sitting at a desk.

My point behind all of this is simple...

Whether it is our youth group or our church...how do we make visitors feel when they come to our services? We need to get into the mindset of a person who has never been to church or youth group before. How are they going to feel the moment they step out of their vehicle and approach the building? Are the doors, that are unlocked, clearly marked? Where are they supposed to go once they get through the doors?

I've always heard that most visitors know within the first 2 minutes of stepping into a church whether or not they're coming back. It is in the way we greet people and make them feel welcome that determines if they're going to trust us. If they're going to give us enough attention to hear the message that God loves them.

What can your church/youth group to better reach the visitors? I suggest starting by becoming a visitor yourself.

Matthew, God's Original Masterpiece

2011-12-16T16:18:00.001-05:00

There are times in my life where I look at the 26 years that God has given me here on this earth and I feel like a failure. I feel like I have done so little with what He has given me and that I've let Him down. It's like when you give someone responsibility for a big project and when you see what they've done with it...it's junk.

There are moments in my life where I feel like that project.

Where I feel like junk.

Watch this video..it is a little long, but will challenge you.

There are times where I look in the mirror and see myself. An imperfect man who is often scared and afraid. Who sometimes questions if God is big enough. Who sometimes finds himself guilty of moving away from God rather than toward Him. I let my mistakes and failures turn me into a creation that is different than the masterpiece God originally created me to be. I let this world weigh me down and get the best of me. But the prize that we seek isn't of this world. The prize that we seek is Heaven. Something this world cannot offer us.

It is when we look in the mirror and see the creation we have become...that we need to be chiseled. We need to let God take the chisel into our lives and chisel away everything that is not of Him.

What in your life do you need to let God chisel away?

Just know that YOU are God's original masterpiece.

If you've never heard of The Skit Guys you should definitely check out their website. They're crazy talented.

Christmas Caroling

2011-12-12T14:35:00.000-05:00

Last night our church split up into teams and went out into the community and sang Christmas carols to individuals in our community that are either shut-ins or we've been made aware that they might need a little bit extra Christmas cheer.

As the new guy on staff I felt this was one of those events that I was obligated to attend. I was a bit frustrated that I had to sacrifice missing some football games in order to attend. I wasn't really looking forward to having to go into people's houses that I didn't know and sing to them.

It was in our second house that God really spoke to me. It was in the act of a 92 year old woman opening her door with the biggest smile on her face that God spoke to me. I was reminded in that moment that this night was more important than a football game or watching TV. The woman proclaimed that she was so excited to have us and that we could do whatever we needed to get comfortable. She was just happy to see a group of people come to see her and share their love with her.

I watched as this woman held the hand of a lady singing with us and with the other hand she wiped tears that fell from her eyes.

It is in these moments where we step out of our comfort zone that God reveals himself to us. The moments where we realize that our lives aren't about doing what is easiest for us. The moment where we see the impact of showing God's love to another human being can have on a person.

There are people all around us that are lonely this holiday season. Go find them and share the love that you have been blessed to experience.

CLICK HERE FOR A VIDEO BLOG ON THIS TOPIC

A Trip to the Zoo

2011-12-08T08:40:00.000-05:00

My daughter is 6 months...TODAY! How in the world has it been 6 months already?

Anyway, as a part of being 6 months old she has to go to the doctor for a routine check-up. Sadly this will be one of those check-ups that requires shots. The shots are always harder on my wife and I than they are on her. She is usually back to normal within a few minutes, but listening to her cry makes me want to throw up.

Since we lived in Florida when she was born (in June) and then moved when she was 3 months old..we've not really done a "family outing activity." We've taken her out to places, but never to do an activity. Tonight we're taking her to Christmas at the Zoo at the Indianapolis Zoo. I'm excited to introduce her to polar bears, brown bears, tigers, walruses, sea lions and even though she saw dolphins while we were at the beach...those dolphins didn't do awesome tricks like the ones we'll see tonight.

So my encouragement for you is to do something memorable this holiday season with those special to you. Make memories that you'll never forget. Take pictures and videos so that when you're older you can look back and smile at these precious moments.

Car Accident - SLOW DOWN!

2011-12-05T17:51:00.000-05:00

Today I was driving in to the church for our monthly board meeting. I looked up ahead when I saw a car going VERY fast around a corner. The thought came to my mind, "Man, he's going way too fast around that corner in that old pick-up." All of a sudden the pick-up decided it had had enough of the sharp turn and veered across the highway and careened into the guardrail on the opposite side of the road.

I slowed way down and watched as red break lights began to light the way in front of me.

After driving by the accident I thought to myself...too many times that is me. There are too many times in my life where I'm out of control. Where I'm going too fast for my own good. Where I need to slow down and gain control of a situation before I act. There's too many times where I put the peddle to the metal and race around a corner. We can usually get ourselves out of those sticky situations, but just like this truck...it only takes one corner and one guardrail for there to be damage.

So how are you doing? Are you flying down the highway out of control? Is your "Cruise Control" on and you're enjoying the ride?

Too many times in our lives we just need to slow down and enjoy the ride.

Overcome - Brett Blondell

2011-12-01T20:42:00.000-05:00

One of my good friends just released a new CD on iTunes today...check it out! They make great stocking stuffers!

Brett Blondell - Overcome

BrettBlondell.com

Airbrushed

2011-12-01T20:13:00.000-05:00

The first time I watched this video...I was blown away.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2gD80jv5ZQ

Even in my limited amount of time in student ministry I have already experienced the results of the imagery that our media places on beauty. The results of teenage girls buying into the lie that unless they look like the women on the cover of magazines that they're not beautiful.

Genesis 1:27, "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them."

When we realize that we're created in the image of God...it changes everything. We stop worrying about the fact that we feel we don't have perfect skin. We stop worrying about the scar from when we were little. We stop worrying about the crooked tooth or messed up lip.

We can rest in the fact that we're perfect just the way we are.

Follow the Leader

2011-11-29T16:12:00.000-05:00

Today we had our first actual snow where it stuck to the ground. I have a meeting tonight here at the church so I came in a little later today. By the time I got on the road it had been snowing for a good amount of time.

As I traveled down the road I noticed that it was MUCH easier for me to drive when I was following the tracks of those who had been ahead of me. As long as I stayed in their path then it was pretty smooth and I felt comfortable, but the minute my wheels exited their path...I had to slow down. I had to be cautious because there was no path.

Growing up I remember thinking that the older people around me didn't understand anything. I thought they had long ago forgot what it was like to be a teenager. As I matured I realized that they weren't as dumb as I thought they were.

When we start living our lives like there is nothing we can learn from those around us...we're on dangerous grounds. We get our wheels outside of the path and begin carving our own path. Are we in control? No. We're at the mercy of where our wheels take us...often times we find ourselves calling someone to pull us out of a ditch.

Some of the greatest minds have been from the type of people who aren't afraid to venture onto their own path, but what is important is remembering to learn from the mistakes of those who created the original path.

Sister Wive's Song

2011-11-27T23:15:00.000-05:00

My wife watched Sister Wive's tonight and thought the song at the end of the show was very beautiful. After a little research we were able to find the lyrics. It appears to be an updated version to an old hymn, but only one verse of the original hymn. The bold is the verse that was used during the show.

1 Verse
Songs of praise we bring to our Savior King, Who hath said " Let little
children come; For of such" said He, "Shall my kingdom be." Kingdom
of the ransomed, bathered home.

Chorus
We will sweetly sing of our Savior King, till the echoes reach the vaulted skies! To the
Lord above, Prince of Peace and love, Shall our sweetest songs of praise arise.

Lyrics by Charlotte G. Homer

2 Verse
Tho' so young and small, Jesus loves us all, And His smiling face o'er
all we see; Gently day by day, still He leads the way; Blessed
Jesus, we will follow Thee.

Chorus
We will sweetly sing of our Savior King, till the echoes reach the vaulted skies! To the
Lord above, Prince of Peace and love, Shall our sweetest songs of praise arise.

3 Verse
Then glad songs employ, songs of praise and joy, To the Lamb who loves
children so; Let us each be true, live and serve Him too, And more
like the Master daily grow.

Chorus
We will sweetly sing of our Savior King, till the echoes reach the vaulted skies! To the
Lord above, Prince of Peace and love, Shall our sweetest songs of praise arise.

Do I know you? That's my King!

2011-11-25T21:32:00.001-05:00

Have you ever found yourself in the awkward situation where someone calls you by the wrong name? I don't mean just getting your name mixed up with another person, but where the person genuinely believes your name is something completely different than what it is really is.

I worked as the After School Coordinator for private school. One Friday where one of the parents, that I had known for the entire school year, picked up his daughters and as he was leaving stated, "Have a great weekend Peter!" I remember thinking he must have been talking to someone in the hallway so I didn't think much of it. The next time he picked up his daughters I saw him walk in and he greeted me "Hey Peter! How are you doing?" The thought finally hit me that I was Peter. I was the guy he had said goodbye to a few weeks before. It was weird though because we had seen each other many times throughout the school year. I let it slide though because I thought maybe he was just confused or something....and it seemed every time I saw him he would say "Hey Peter!" Lesson to everyone....unless you're 100% positive...just stick with "Hey Man!"

I mention all of that because Matthew 16:13-20 Jesus is asking who people say He is. There's question as to whether Jesus is who He claims to be...or...if he's some guy named Peter...well not really Peter, but some people though He was just another prophet.

Simon Peter replies, "You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God."

Have you thought about who Jesus is? About who He is and how it impacts our lives?

This video was released a while back, but after reading through this verse today it has a deeper meaning.

THAT'S MY KING!

Jesus isn't just another guy that walked the earth. He is more than that. He's more than anything we can understand or comprehend.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T20:20:00.000-05:00

The other day I saw a tweet from Max Lucado that said:

"What if you woke up this morning and had only the things you thanked God for yesterday?"

I used the quote as the main point to a devotional I gave this morning at a community Thanksgiving meal. I challenge you and stop to think about this idea and how it would change our lives if it was true.

For me...I'd learn to be thankful for a lot more. I'd come to realize that God has blessed me way more than I realize.

He's blessed me with:

My wife

My daughter

My family

A bed

A pillow

Toothpaste

Toothbrush

Electric Shaver

A warmer shower
A nice fuzzy towel
Clothes
Hair gel
Deoderant
A kitchen with food...even if it is half empty with food that isn't my favorite...it's better than nothing right?
Television
A couch
A house
Indoor plumbing
Heating/Cooling for our house
Our garage
Our car
Gasoline

The list of ways we're each blessed could go on forever.

My wife and I talked for awhile about this quote as I prepared my devotional. I couldn't get over the fact that if this quote was the way our world worked...it would force us to be appreciative. If we weren't appreciative of something then the next day it would be gone. We take so much for granted that eventually we would only be left with the things that we really appreciate.

When we take our focus off what we don't have...it makes it easier for us to focus on how much we've been blessed.

The Guilty Youth Pastor

2011-11-12T20:54:00.000-05:00

This is a hard blog for me to write. I try to be pretty transparent in my writing so that you know the real me, but today is going to be even more transparent. I'm going to share a huge part of my heart.

A couple of months ago I applied for Tim Schmoyer's "Youth Ministry Mentorship" and my application was selected by one of the mentors. I have had two 1-hour meetings with my mentor Ryan Nielsen and I have grown immensely.

As a part of the program we're asked to read 3 books: Your First 2 Years of Youth Ministry by Doug Fields, Life in Student Ministry by Tim Schmoyer and Ministry Mutiny by Greg Stier. I had read Doug's book before and immeditely read Tim's book the second it came in the mail, but I hadn't found time to read Greg's book.

Ryan asked me to start reading Greg's book so we could discuss it over the next couple of weeks because he said it is a book that he wishes youth workers would read at least once a month. So I did. I picked it up and started reading through it. I got to page 39 and knew that this book was going to transform me. That I'm not going to have the same outlook on youth ministry anymore and I'm only part-way through it.

Greg writes on page 39:

"This mutiny is against that unspoken paradigm that we have to do youth ministry as it has always been done. When it comes to curriculum, I rebel against the idea that you just go out and buy the latest stuff without first checking it out thoroughly to make sure it's the right stuff at the right time for your youth group."

When I read that page I had to stop and set the book down for a few minutes and take a look at myself. I remember sitting in the quietness of my office and feeling like I didn't want to read on. I felt guilty. Why the guilty feeling? Because I'm guilty of buying in to this "unspoken paradigm." This paradigm that suggests "Oh this church did it this way so you have to do it that way." The paradigm that says "it has to be done this way or else you'll fail."

If you know anything about where I am currently in ministry I am in my first full-time youth ministry position and starting a youth ministry at a church that has not ever had a serious youth program. I was reading that challenging paragraph 2 days before I was to sit down with a group of people I had called to partner with me in this venture and reveal to them my vision for the youth ministry at the church, but Mr. Stier decides to go and mess me up.

So here I sit and admit...I'm guilty of buying into the lie. I'm guilty of buying into the lie that my youth ministry has to have a plasma screen on the wall with the latest video game system hooked up to it. That we have to have the latest and most expensive curriculum on the market to effectively reach students. I'm guilty of thinking that "it worked for them it has to work for us."

My goal is to take what Greg is saying and apply it to my ministry. To see that building a youth ministry is more about spending time in prayer listening to what God wants for the students He has entrusted me with than listening to mega-churches pushing the curriculum they have produced. That talking with a student over a soda at Taco Bell is more important than sitting in my office and trying to come up with a creative branding for our student ministry.

Greg Stier, I'm not sure if you'll ever read this, but you have broken...no...shattered my idea of what youth ministry is to look like. That everything has a place, but we should evaluate the needs of our students and what God wants for our ministry before applying ideas or curriculum. I cannot thank you enough!

Project 26/26 - I'm too old

2011-10-28T17:29:00.001-04:00

Every January 1st millions of resolutions are made...and every January 2nd millions of resolutions are broken. A close friend recently turned 33 and she decided she wanted to use it as an opportunity to evaluate how she has lived her life and how she wants to live the next 33 years (you can find her story HERE). I was driving to work the other day when it hit me that I needed to use my upcoming 26th birthday as an opportunity to do the same.

My mind first turned to picking a few big things that I wanted to accomplish, but I don't want it to just be a few big things. I want it to be a list of things that cause me to be a better man, husband, father and youth pastor. So I've created a list of 26 different objectives that should aid in accomplishing my goal.

Prayers are appreciated because some of these are harder than others....

1. Say/Do something meaningful for at least 1 person every day
2. Visit 2 new states
3. Blog 3 days a week
4. Read the entire Bible
5. Attend Simply Youth Ministry Conference & Middle School Campference
6. Devote at least 1 entire day to family each week
7. Pay off a loan
8. Get paid to write
9. Run 5 days a week
10. Create something bigger than myself
11. Get ready every day (even if I have nothing planned for the day)
12. 2 date nights per month
13. Run a half marathon
14. Invest in the lives of 2 students and 2 adults
15. Designate 15 minutes each day for prayer
16. Learn a new skill
17. Giveaway something of value to someone who could use it
18. Family movie night each week
19. Family game night each week
20. Prepare dinner 20 times throughout the year for Jacklynn (I'm a horrible cook)
21. Pray as a family every day
22. Set and follow a schedule
23. Take a risk
24. Read 24 books (2 a month - Accepting suggestions)
25. Spend quality time w/ family & friends

and last but not least.....

26. Run a marathon

I figure this is the only year in my entire life that I will be able to run 26 miles at the same time while being 26 years old. So why not do it?

What are your goals?

Wunderlist - Why it is an essential app in my ministry

2011-10-26T23:04:00.000-04:00

I followed the advice of Brooklyn Lindsey and Warren Davis and jumped on the EVERNOTE bandwagon. I only use the free version right now, but it is definitely a must have to keep ideas and various ministry resources organized. There is a "checklist" function that I have used, but never thought it did the job in terms of keeping a task-list....then I found Wunderlist....

I'm the type of person who loves what I do for a living and will often be sitting on the couch watching a television show and get an idea for an upcoming event. Usually unless I write the idea down I find that I often forget about the idea until during or after the event. Another issue is that I'll make a list and put it on my desk and it either gets lost in the paperwork or it is on my desk at the office when I'm working from home.

Here is how using Wunderlist has made my life easier....and the quality of events I plan better.

Wunderlist allows you to create different "Lists." My current lists are: Church, Personal and Movie Night.

Church - All of my random tasks for my job at the church
Personal - Basically my "honey-do list" or "grocery list"
Movie Night - This is an event I'm planning for in December. I will add tasks as they pop in my head.

One thing that I like about the program is that there is a mobile app as well as a physical website that automatically sync together. I can be sitting on the couch and remember something and grab my phone and add a task to the appropriate list and make sure it gets done when I get to my desk in the morning. On the website it makes it easy to look and see what needs to be done and check off when it is completed.

One issue I ran into with a lot of programs was not being able to share a task list....Wunderlist doesn't fail here. You and partners can work on a project or event together and make sure progress is getting done all while setting deadlines for tasks.

It's a great app...you and your ministry will benefit from using it. Check it out!

Whonu?

2011-10-26T13:43:00.000-04:00

This past Sunday I sat in an empty room as I watched the big hand on my watch tick over to indicate it was 9:00. It was the first Sunday for the Sunday morning youth small group here at the church that has hired me. I got that sinking feeling that this was going to be a lot more difficult than I had anticipated because no one showed up. I didn't get discouraged, but took it in stride. It was about 10 minutes later that I heard a door open and close and I saw a few students begin to stroll in.
We spent the rest of the time before our 10AM service playing a great game to get to know one another in a small group called "Whonu." It was a great way to get to know the students and for them to get to know me. It was interesting to see what they ranked the different words in terms of their favorites and then for the 2nd half we played what their least favorites were.
I feel it has been a great start so far here at the church. I've started to get a feel for the pulse of the church culture and started forming relationships with students who are going to be key into building a youth ministry at the church that reflects what Christ was all about.

I keep reminding myself over and over...baby steps.

A new adventure...

2011-10-12T13:56:00.000-04:00

The past 2 months have been a whirlwind of events and emotions. A few months ago I was contacted by a church regarding their need for someone to come and start up a youth ministry at their church. Initially I dismissed the idea because I was happy with my position at the church I was at and selfishly enjoying the Florida weather. We were flown up and I interviewed them as much as they interviewed me and on the flight back down to Florida my wife and I talked about the possibilities of being back closer to family and if this was where God was going to use us next.

To make a long story short...we're currently waiting to sign our new lease at the house we're going to be renting in Indiana.

It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do when I said goodbye to the 200+ students (and two awesome bosses) at Highland Park Church. They have impacted my life more than they will ever know. It was an awesome experience sitting back and watching God work in the lives of the students. Students that got what the Gospel was all about. Students that sacrificed time, energy and resources to raise money and help people in need.

Working at the church was a confirmation of a calling God has put on my life. A calling to work with students and parents to help navigate them through some of the roughest years of their lives...all while pointing them to Jesus for the answers.

It was at Highland Park that I formed professional relationships with co-workers and parents that I'll never forget. There were a couple of goodbyes that were harder than the rest and we departed with a "See you later" rather than "Goodbye." We say "See you later" because it isn't goodbye...I have faith that God blessed our work there and that He will bring us to work on projects again in the future. We may not see each other every day, but it is in this monster of a job we call youth ministry that we find ourselves as part of a family.

So here I sit...a full-time youth pastor. Earlier, I finished my proposed budget and my "5 year youth ministry plan" describing what I vision God doing in the midst of a small church reaching out to youth in the community. It is a new adventure for the Fry family, but we're taking each step knowing that we're where He has called us to be. As each piece of the puzzle falls in to place as we get settled it reveals that He has orchestrated all of this.

"Every end is another new beginning..."