fucking big thoughts

LA MER

2012-12-21T20:26:00.001-08:00

Please consider buying the new issue of KTBAFC

It features writing some great words and art by Melissa Broder, James Payne, Mark Thomas Stevenson, Erik Stinson, Dwight Pavlovic, Noah Ciero, Ken Baumann, Chelsea Martin, Michael Seidlinger, Myles Dunigan, Andrew James Weatherhead, David Fishkind, Maggie Lee, DJ Berndt, Mike Bushnell, Elvia Wilk, Willie Fitzgerald, Jameson Fitzpatrick, Sophia Diaz, Peter BD, Sarah San, Norman Feliks, and Eric Benick

Here is the cover by Neon Glittery

Shabby Doll House published 3 poems by me

Lit Pub published a recommendation by me

Civil Coping Mechanisms will be publishing my first novel in 2014. It is called WALLS, and it has 4 parts, and many sub-parts.

CCM is currently running an indie-gogo campaign to raise some money. buy a late xmas present or something for someone....they have lots of great works.

There is a KTBAFC reading on Dec. 29 in Brooklyn. It will feature Ana C., Mike Bushnell, Beach Sloth, Peter BD, Maggie Lee, Dennis Donnelly, Joselia Hughes, and thine-self.

Maggie Lee is great. Take a look at her!

Anyways, it's been an OK year. Just trying to keep eternal recurrence in mind while not forgetting about the unbearable lightness of being. It's hella lot to juggle.

I probably listened to this song more than any other song this year

Stare, a chapbook of 8 or 12 poems

2012-08-19T20:09:00.000-07:00

Oh Man, Blogger is changing again and I can't even tell if its better.

I am going to start copying and pasting all my sporadic Blogspot posts onto my Tumblr account.

I'm not here to talk about those things, though

I'm here to tell you that you have a great opportunity to buy an amazing product

My chapbook, Stare, is now available for purchase via the Keep This Bag Away From Children Store.

It is $3. You can also buy a magazine that I helped edit/publish and other chapbooks by fabulous authors too, which I also helped edit/publish. There are good deals to be had if you're not a cheap wimp. Indulge in this purchase----you won't regret it.

There are either 8 or 12 poems (depending if you count a series of five short inter-related poems as 1 poem or 5 poems)

If you want to review my poetry chapbook, email me at andrewworthington87@gmail.com

Here is a picture of me holding up the cover of the chapbook. I drew the cover art, too. Isn't it beautiful?

Here is a picture of me holding up the middle of the chapbook. These two pages are the reason why I can't decide if there are 8 or 12 poems in this chapbook.

Here is a picture of me holding up the back of the chapbook. There is my blog URL and there is my magazine URL. Makes me want to weep for joy.

Hey, so, once again, it's 3 dollars.

If you want to read some sample poems before you decide to spend your 3 precious $, here ya go!

"Staring at Photographs of the Human Brain" was published by New Wave Vomit in May

"The Newest Blockbuster Hit: Now In A Theatre Too Near To You" was published by Cormac McCarthy's Dead Typewriter in April

I read some of these poems at a reading the weekend before this with Mike Bushnell, Jordan Castro, Andrew James Weatherhead, Cassey Gonzaelz, Joselia Hughes, Dennis Donnelly, and others.

I read some of these poems plus two other things on Friday with Ben Nadler, Austin Givens, and Sophia Le Fraga. After the reading there was a party and went to the bathroom a few times. One time, I came out of the bathroom and people were taking a small group photo. I stared at the guy taking the photo and he looked at me and said "Yeah you have to move" in an annoyed voice. I thought that was unnecessary. I made a really angry tweet the next morning and then I ate falafel.

I had the words ready for this blogpost but I felt shy of taking photos of myself for a while. Otherwise, the post would have gone up hours ago. Jeez Louise.

Piece

STARING AT PHOTOGRAPHS OF THE HUMAN BRAIN

2012-05-09T13:04:00.002-07:00

http://newwavevomit.com/newwavevomit.com/271.html

read my poem above (if you want)

it is linked above (the underlined thing above)

i mentioned it in a blog post i wrote 11 months ago here

BRAINS

BRAINS
BRAINS

BRAINS

BRAINS
BRAINS

BRAINS

BRAINS
BRAINS

BRAINS
BRAINS
BRAINS
BRAINS

BRAINS
BRAINS

BRAINS

BRAINSBRAINS

BRAINS

BRAINSBRAINS

BRAINS

BRAINSBRAINS

BRAINS

BRAINSBRAINS

BRAINS

BRAINSBRAINS

BRAINS

BRAINSBRAINS

BRAINS

BRAINSBRAINS

BRAINS

BRAINSBRAINS

BRAINS

BRAINSBRAINS

BRAINS

BRAINSBRAINS

BRAINS

BRAINSBRAINS

BRAINS

BRAINSBRAINS

BRAINS

BRAINSBRAINS

BRAINS

tomorrow or Friday I will be making a big promotional post re: Keep This Bag Away From Children

the first issue is out....BUY IT HERE

Cormac McCarthy's Dead Typewriter

2012-04-25T13:47:00.001-07:00

Matt Margo published a poem by me called 'The Newest Blockbuster Hit: Coming Soon to a Theatre Too Near To You" on his site Cormac McCarthy's Dead Typewriter

It can be found by clicking on the underlined hyperlink in the above sentence

VOl.1 BROOKLYN

2012-04-15T09:09:00.001-07:00

Vol.1 Brooklyn published an excerpt of my novel. It can be found by clicking on this underlined portion of this blog post.

My novel is called I, Um

That is the tentative title

I like Vol.1 Brooklyn a lot.

It is one of a handful of sites that I check daily

___________________

I hope everyone's spring has gotten off to a wicked start!

MR.BELLER'S NEIGHBORHOOD

2012-04-06T20:34:00.004-07:00

Mr.Beller's Neighborhood published a piece by me called "I Would Have Wasted Those Thirty Dollars"

It is old school, or something.

I am starting a genre called "highly embellished non-fiction"....nothing like that exists yet, right?

Keep This Bag Away From Children

2012-03-23T21:02:00.002-07:00

I mentioned in my last blog post how I started an art/lit magazine

Here is a list of contributors that will be in the first print issue. Comes out in April. Orders will be available soon.

Elvia Wilk, Benjamin Nadler, Neon Glittery, Andrew James Weatherhead,Frank Hinton, Crispin Best, Matt Margo, Brittany Wallace, Eric Tyler Benik, Sarah San, Lauren Raheja, DJ Berndt, Marta Maleck, Noah Cicero, Sheila Byers, Ian Stroud, David Fishkind, Jordan Castro, Cassandra Nguyen, Niki Schur-Narula, Megan Lent, Marilee Pray

I have a story in the new issue of Midwestern Gothic

2012-03-22T11:25:00.000-07:00

Midwestern Gothic is a 200+ page quarterly journal of fiction and poetry.

They published a story by me called "Calling Back Home", which is about urban sprawl, violence, drugs, militarism, and masculinity in the early 21st century.

ALSO

I started an art/lit magazine.

It is called KeepThis Bag AwayFromChildren.

CHECKITOUT.

(I will be devoting a longer blog post specifically to it in the near future)

Bulk Culture

2012-03-01T14:17:00.002-08:00

I have been contributing to Bulk Culture.

I plan to contribute there 1-2 a week.

So far I have been writing about deli meat.

I think I will write about random things that end up in my pockets.

I think I will also write about deli cheese.

I think I will write about running.

I think I will write about music and movies and tv and art and sports and food (other than deli food).

You should check that site daily.

It can be your life.

It should be your life.

Adam Humphreies and Ana C. and Jordan Castro and Shaun Gannon and Noah Cicero and Scott McClanahan and Mike Bushnell and some other peeps have been killing it over there.

If for some reason you think I am great and you just want to read me, then you click on the tab to your left, under non-fiction, which says "@ Bulk Culture" and then you will only see the things that I write.

I also should have a new essay up on The Nervous Breakdown sometime this week. I am trying to write about one post a month there.

If Bulk Culture isn't your life, then TNB should be your life.

On a related note, I have been digging Brad Listi's Other People Podcast. I don't listen to some of them because I am too unfamiliar with the authors, but I have listened to the ones with Megan Boyle, and Roxanne Gay, and Ben Marcus, and a few others. Really good stuff.

Review of KADIAN by Jordan Castro

2012-02-17T13:45:00.000-08:00

Jordan Castro has another chapbook out, this time on Hip Hip Hooray Press.

In previous books, Jordan Castro seemed to address issues in a more roundabout way.

His poetry often seemed to have a repetitive, meditative quality to them, where different shades of an idea built upon one another.

The meditative quality is still there, but now he is cutting right to the core of the ideas at hand.

There is a fresh brevity to these poems.

One of my favorite poems in this chapbook, "Without Drugs I am Nothing", has the repetitive quality to it, but I still like it.

I agree with Noah Cicero that this book has a Rimbaud feel to it.

"Constant Disappointment to the People I Love" is another one of my favorites in this series. You can hear Jordan reading it over the trailer to the book here.

I feel Jordan's voice, or the aspects that I like of it the most, are most present in "Only Writing This Poem To Distract Myself From Thinking About How Shitty Of A Friend/Person I Am."

The poem itself is shorter than the title. It has a "tweet" vibe to it, like many of the things in the chapbook, although maybe that is retarded to say.

"C-Notes" is probably the funniest poem in the collection. It is about the author/narrator/Jordan sitting in a building and hearing C notes from different locations. It is probably shorter than my description of it, and my description of it does not do it justice.

One poem is about Mad Men. I love Mad Men!

Jordan Castro does a great job with these poems.

Reading Kadian is like reading a decadent poet write poems in an era where crunk and Twitter exist, and being good at doing it.

("Turnt Up, Turnt Out" is a good example of this, and is another reason you should buy it)

The second to last poem is similar in tone to the poem that Jordan reads over the trailer. I liked it a lot, too.

The last poem is Jordan going in to even more new territory, filled with caps locks and exclamation marks. It can be read on Matt Margo's lit blog Cormac McCarthy's Dead Typewriter. I also just realized another poem from this collection is one there too, although I am not going to say which one, although i don't know why I am not going to say.

I also highly recommend his solo musical mixtape that came out this winter. The lyrics and poetry in it is similar in many ways to this chapbook.

I hung out with Jordan over Christmas when I was home in Ohio. It was the second time I had hung out with while being home for Christmas (this year and last year, respectively). He is way chill. I am glad he wrote this, and glad I read it.

stuff happening

2012-02-14T17:16:00.000-08:00

i have a short prose piece up in the new issue of UP.

UP is a really cool lit mag run by carolyn decarlo and ras mashramani

i look forward to hearing what you think of it

also----and this is really big news----i have exploded on twitter

i tweet a lot now

CHECK IT OUT

other than that, i am just taking it one day at a time

i am working on the same novel i have always been working on and i am getting to ready to have some new essays published later this month

i am going to post a review of jordan castro's poetry book on friday at 5 PM

GET READY

books i read this year in mostly chronological order given pitchfork ratings that dont really matter although that is redundant

2011-12-27T21:33:00.000-08:00

(i did an interview with scott mcclanahan @3:am mag)

now for my really stupid "books i read this year" post

some of these were/are rereads

im too lenient with my ratings!!!!!!!!!i want to be really mean like pitchfork......

if they don't have a rating that means i put them off until i have more, not out of hate, but out of love....i dont like to cram

i dont think i left anything out but i probably did

have a good new year

donald barthelme-sixty stories 8.7
michel houellebecq- "the possibility of an island" 9.2
thomas pynchon- "the crying of lot 49" 8.1
michel foucault-"madness" 7.4
ludwig wittgenstein-"tractus...."
keith gandal-"cleveland anonymous"
iris murdoch-"a fairly honorable defeat" 8.3
f.scott fitzgerald-"the great gatsby" 8.2
ernest hemingway-"the sun also rises" 9.6
poncho peligroso-"the romantic" 8.6
ernest hemingway-"a farewell to arms" 9.5
katherine anne porter-"pale horse, pale rider" 8.2
william faulkner-"the sound and the fury" 8.2
anton checkhov-"selected stories" 8.5
sam pink-"person" 9.3
noah cicero-"best behavior" 9.4
steve roggenbuck-"download helvetica..." 8.5
william s. burroughs-"junky" 7.9
jack kerouac-"vanity of dulouz" 6.8
james payne-"austerity pleasures" 8.9
richard yates-eleven kinds of loneliness 9.4
jean-paul sartre-"the wall" 9.4
lorrie moore-"self-help" 8.8
michel houellebecq-"whatever" 8.9
robert f. williams- "negroes with guns" 8.1
roland barthes-"mourning diary" 7.3
norman mailer-"armies of the night" 8.3
keith gandal-"the gun and the pen" 6.9
bradley sands-"work for megacorp..." 8.5
mike young-"we are all good..." 8.4
frederick barthelme-"moon deluxe" 8.6
david foster wallace-"infinite jest" 9.1
michael azzerad-"our band could be..." 8.0
elmore leonard-"mississippi blues" 7.6
robert coover-"universal baseball association" 7.4
dennis cooper-"frisk" 8.9
scott mcclanahan-"stories V!" 9.5
blake butler-"there is no year" 9.0
gilles deleuze-"anti-oedipus"
franz kafka-"in the penal colony" 9.2
mark leidner-"the angel in the dream.." 9.1
manuel delanda-"war in the age of intelligent..." 8.4
david foster wallace-"consider the lobster" 8.9
cassandra and cody troyan-"big bill and the..." 8.7
e.t.a. hoffmann-"the sandman" 9.4
sigmund freud-"the uncanny" 8.0
herman melville-"typee" 6.5
deb olin unferth-"vacation" 9.6
herman melville-"redburn" 7.8
stephen tully dierks-"ganga lovers" 8.9
herman mevlille-"white jacket" 6.2
rick moody-"right livelihoods"
san pink-"hurt others"
mike bushnell-"traumahawk" 9.0
very beautful women (pangur ban party) 9.0
ben nadler-"harvitz, as to war" 8.5
herman melville-"moby dick" 9.4
john minichillo-"the snow whale" 9.3
blake butler-"nothing"
deb olin unferth-"revolution"
herman melville-"benito cereno" 7.9
herman melville-"bartelby the scrivener" 9.5
herman melville-"billy budd" 6.4
electric literature VOL.5 8.2
hunter s. thompson-"hell's angels" 8.7
herman meville-"the encantadas" 7.8
herman melville-"battle pieces" 7.3
stephen king-"carrie" 7.5
"anti-story: an anthology of experimental fiction"
jean rhys-"good morning, midnight" 9.2
marcel proust-"swann's way"
manuel delanda-"a thousand years of nonlinear history"

everyday genius poem

2011-12-12T11:31:00.001-08:00

everyday genius published a poem by me called "harry potter as a sex guide"

I valiantly attempted to review the TV show Boardwalk Empire

2011-12-06T08:35:00.000-08:00

HERE

FAIL

2011-12-05T13:39:00.001-08:00

I failed to live up to my goal to post a bunch last month. I will hopefully post again in the future. My apologies for failing in my attempt at solidarity with the online literature crowd. I'm busy!

songs i listen to at work

2011-11-18T11:41:00.000-08:00

i stole this post idea

there is a lack of sophistication in my writing this post

songs i listen to at work

used to listen to this one a lot, just back into it recently

same with this one

(DELETED: BLACK STAR)

some older music that i have only gotten really into in the past year or two

(DELETED: FUNKADELIC)

i havent listened to this last one as much recently, but for a few weeks i was listening to it at least once most days

all the ones that are from the past year or two are songs that i used to listen to but don't anymore but do apparently

black flag from before henry rollins. the decline of western civilization is the movie this is taken from. its a really good movie.

beachsloth blogged about "desiree"

there is a pen in my left pants pocket in the picture

i didn't think the story was nightmarish, although i guess thats cool

good stuff

someone in the last post asked if i felt "like a ghost." i don't think i do or have feel like that. although what is it like to be a ghost? maybe i am and i just don't know.

my friend homer wanted to know if i liked infinite jest. i read it this summer. he thought i told him I thought it was "like whatever" but i told him i thought it was really good. it is one of my favorite books i've read this year. i think i will eventually make a list of books i read this year, or my favorite books i read this year. i don't use "goodreads" anymore.

DESIREE

2011-11-08T07:12:00.000-08:00

Pangur Ban Party published a short fiction ebook by me called Desiree. It is HERE.

Also, in spirit with Ben Brooks, Stephen Tully Dierks, and DJ Berndt (who is the editor/designer of Pangur Ban Party), I will be blogging in November for Blog Month. I will blog once every Sunday, like I did back in high school when I used Xanga.

I also have poem called "Moan" up at Let People Poems. It is my magnum opus. See left-hand side bar, where it has been properly cataloged in the correct section of links.

Don't feel shy to say a kind or mean word to me. I want to feel emotion from other human beings.

Patriotism and Patriarchy: A Review of Ben Nadler's Harvitz, As To War

2011-10-29T18:36:00.000-07:00

***EXCLUSIVE QUOTE #1***

"...You know how boring jails gets."
"Yeah, totally." I did not know.

The eponymous lead character/narrator of Ben Nadler's debut novel is a punk. Sammy Harvitz rejects what he is expected to do (or what he thinks he is expected to do). He rejects the status quo. But rejection of one thing can only can so far before it leads to embrace of another. Harvitz consistently finds himself in "FUBAR" situations, as the military lingo might go. His father is somewhat of a deadbeat, his mother dies when he is young. He migrates towards the punk movement, which is never short of its Sids and Nancies. Harvitz joins the military: at this point it should be clear to you that this protagonist doesn't get much of a smooth ride in this novel.

Ben Nadler is the author. Ben Nadler is therefore the novel's God. God does not like Sammy Harvitz, or at the very least God doesn't give a shit. This is how a book should be written.

Harvitz is far and away the most prominent character of the novel, but there are some gems to be found here in the supporting roles. Harvitz's grandfather, a proud old Jewish man, is a voice of reason in the life of Harvitz. With the early death of his mother and the often lacking parental guidance of his father, the grandfather is a less frequent yet quite poignant presence in the novel. He represents the tradition ("3000 years of Jewish heritage") and patriarchy, while the father represents a former hippie, former middle-class worker, early retiree, turned sour on life. Harvitz struggles with the shadows of these two characters. His volatility stems in many ways from each of them. I am beginning to sound Psychanalytic, which I hate, and so I am going to move on.

The other most striking characters for me were the buddies he makes in the military. Not surprisingly, the punk Harvitz gravitates to the more intellectual and introverted members of his unit.

***EXCLUSIVE QUOTE #2***

I felt a little bit like a wild animal that she had brought home. I liked feeling like that.

The landscapes of this novel are vivid, despite the fact that Nadler spends much less time on poetry and much more time on action. The novel doesn't really slow down. The text moves from exposition to scenes heavy with dialogue, and that process is repeated throughout much of the book. Throughout the novel, we see Philadelphia, New Jersey, Manhattan, Brooklyn, California, Florida, and a whole lot of spaces in between. The periods when Harvitz pauses to reflect are powerful, as well.

The language of the book is not too distinguished, by which I mean it doesn't really go too far towards minimalism or maximalism, those dirty binary terms that I am using in spite of my disgust. The language is fairly simply, so I suppose I should call it more minimalistic, but it doesn't go too far and there isn't a discernible ideological strategy at work in the way the words appear on the page. That said, the voice is consistent, and what more can we ask from a writer?

I highly recommend this novel. Sure, the stories of patriotism and patriarchy (and their rejection) have been told before. But J.D. Salinger is dead, and J.D. Salinger didn't grow up in an era of endless strip malls and the great overcrowded yet increasingly homogenous culture we now know.

I was reminded of Russell Banks' Rule of the Bone as I read this---and in terms of really good literature about young adults that is a high mark for the past several decades. Harvitz wants to find comfort and peace, but the only routes he knows to those ideals are littered with pain and self-destruction. It is a bible (lowercase on purpose) for all young people who are confused and angry with the bullshit.

***EXCLUSIVE QUOTE #3***

"Well, choosing to serve in the Army is a big decision. But there's no reason to be nervous here today. We're just hanging out. Consider me your buddy!"

OUT NOW ON IRON DIESEL PRESS

occupy yourself

2011-10-18T01:00:00.000-07:00

IF I HAD A SLOGAN THAT COULD FIT ALL MY DEMANDS INTO ONE SLOGAN, THIS WOULD BE IT

occupy an area

occupy yourself

i have gone down to #occupywallstreet a few times

i went down to the times square demonstration on saturday

that was very thrilling

i walk out of the 42nd street subway and theres hardly any room to move around in (not that thats that different from how times sq usually is.....)

there were lots of signs

i made my way (over 20 mins or so) to one of the main clusters of demonstrators, camped underneath the ABC tv hq

there were news headlines flashing

AL QAEDA MILITANTS KILLED IN IRAQ

OCCUPY MOVEMENT GOES GLOBAL

MICHIGAN BEATS WHOEVER THE FUCK

felt historical

these protests are cool

more importantly, they are good

i am not much of a protester

protesters are kind of loud, extroverted

i felt very agoraphobic at times sq on saturday, although times sq often has that effect

i was glad that fucking tourists and crass consumers had their days ruined because they were prevented from freely shopping by a mob of angry people holding signs protesting capitalism under many crazy signs in the center of capitalism

ugh, words

but yeah, they were loud and extroverted

the only times i am ever usually loud or extroverted is when i am really hyper-mood (usually around folks i know) or drunk

maybe if i got drunk i would go be a loud protester and not just a mostly silent fellow-traveler

i talk to people about it while i am there or while i am not there

it seems that that is one of the main points: to raise political awareness and dialogue

the sit-ins in downtown banks this past week sounded good

the protests in europe and asia sounded good

i watch glenn beck videos where he talks about this stuff

he is in conspiracy theory mode

he is always scary and funny, i think that is his point tho, although i dont think his fans have the same sense of irony about it that i do

he thinks it a communist/anarchist-coordinated movement for the violent overthrow of the gov

"THEYRE REVOLUTIONARIES"

they thing is

i agree

as someone who supports these protests, i want a revolution

but not armed insurrection, necessarily

i want this financial system to be massively changed

if it can happen organically, that would be best, obviously

i think that people don't need to die

i want a lot

but i can't reduce my protests to "bread, land, and peace"

thats what the soviets used

which is a lot

i wonder how long these protests will continue

when winter comes and a lot of the people who just pass through (like me) start to go down less often because of the cold weather

or when fall semester is over and students who have been going down go home for the holidays

will it die?

will weather conditions and vacations give a whimpering end to the protests?

i hope not

but what am i personally doing about it

then again, i have obligations (i teach at a public college)

so maybe i shouldnt be trying to go get arrested, bc then i cant teach these kids how to read interesting works of literature and how to form arguments and how to write essays

or maybe thats just an excuse

bc i will only be held for a day or two

maybe im just a wuss

yeah, im a "wuss"

ok

_____________________

I am going to start a twitter account called "Wikipedia pages I regret having found myself reading"

I may also eventually start a twitter account called "YouTube videos I regret having found myself watching"

These accounts will be a call-to-arms for Myself

They will be like saying "Andrew, look at this retarded shit you just wasted your time on"

They will be part of some project with unknown parameters that i will be working on over an unknown period of time

______________________________

I AM GOING TO WRITE A MANIFESTO ABOUT SOMETHING
IN THE NEXT WEEK OR TWO

NIKI SCHUR-NARULA: 24 and STILL GLOWING OLD

2011-10-05T15:41:00.000-07:00

Today is my good friend Niki Schur-Narula's first day after 24 years in the reality we live in, this strange yet ever oh so familiar reality

In honor of this event, I am posting all of his links below:

Glow Old his main site and also his artist name (currently)

His bandcamp for his music he composed for his Glow Old project

This was an installation he did also under the Glow Old moniker (i believe) with Homer Hill exhibiting the interactive features:

look who's talking. dec 1 2010. from niki schur-narula on Vimeo.

The zine he publishes is called Tropic of Conversation It may be possessed but it may not be bought

A blog he updates frequently called Song of My/Your Day (I don't really check it too often bc my internet/computer is slow but it seems cool)

His old music project ("Capybara Sounds")

A poem he wrote about growing old (featured in the first issue of the magazine "Eaders Digest" but originally published at TWLBIP)

He has twitter and facebook, but he doesn't really use twitter and he doesnt like strangers adding him on the facebook

WE ARE ALL SO YOUNG AND YET WE ARE GLOWING SO OLD
HE IS GLOW OLD

way old school: glowing

nu-school: today he still glows old

ranked google searches that led to my blog, as recorded by statcounter

2011-10-03T00:53:00.000-07:00

these are from september 1-october 2. i think i put all of them but i might have missed a few. im mostly just bored right now.

i dont know, i think google searches don't make sense. one minute a ranking is one thing and the next its something else. i also dont know where the #154 came from, why that got ranked, because statcounter doesnt always rank things. i could read about it probably, figure out how it works. i put the highest rank. for example, one search "andrew worthington" was #1 in the US but another it was #7.

when i looked at my statcounter over the past month, usually once or twice a week, i found some of these results funny. now i just find them kind of depressing. owell.

in the UK---"andrew worthington" #17
in India---"fucking thoughts" #9
in Pakistan---"big fucking" #10
in Portugal---"andrew worthington" #1
in Thailand---"fucking masturbation" #1
in Brazil---"pics girls radical funking" #19
in Sri Lanka--"BIG FUCKING" #9
in Norway---"fucking a big" #10
in Singapore---"big fucking" #10
in India---"big fucking" #7
in Turkey---"big fucking"#15
in the US---"andrew worthington" #1
in the US---"all obama does is talk shit now" #8
in Spain---"i know it was a murder" #2
in Spain---"es peligroso bushwick" #15
in Brunei Darussalem---"fucking big" #9
in India---"sex with big thoght" #2
in Philippenes---"big fucking" #11
in India---"fucking" #154
in the US---"'what is art' prose" #8
in Serbia---"big fucking" #8
in India---"simple fucking art" #1
in Germany---"holyday fucking" #7
in the US---"'noah cicero' 'tao lin' 'best behavior' characters" #1
in Brazil---"fuckingbig" #3
in Austria---"big fucking" #10
in UAE---"big fucking" #9
in Bangladesh---"Big fucking" #10
in Indonesia---"big fucking" #11

weird

i wonder if this means my rhetoric is really confused and messed up

i think i should cuss less, in life and in general

does having a cuss word in my blog title and url lessen my appeal to a wider all age audience as well potential career jumping hurdle moves?

its thought provoking.

history of my relation to contemporary indie online literature

2011-10-02T23:44:00.000-07:00

May-June 2007
My friend Jack Kerns recommends I read the tao lin's e-book at bear parade. it is called today the sky...
I subsequently check out Tao Lin's blog, his other e-books, his first novel, and eventually his first story collection. His first story collection, Bed, has remained my favorite work by him.

July-August 2007
I discover other online literature but I feel like "its all too much to take in"---this will be a recurring sensation throughout my relationship with online literature----and literature as a whole---and life as a whole. My main discovery during this period was Noah Cicero's The Human War. I am intrigued by his blog. He is political and philosophical, both to a really extreme manner. Provocative.

September-October 2007
I begin a literary blog called The World Looks Better In Pink. I don't really know what I'm doing.   I ask a bunch of friends to contribute. Most oblige, although some just sign up and there names sit on the right hand column and they never post. I post. My friends Fernando, Niki, Dennis, Carla, and Nicole all post. I ask Tao Lin to contribute by sending him an email via blogger. I don't hear back so I annoy him on his blog and he gets e-angry and says to stop annoying him. I ask Noah Cicero and he agrees to contribute. He puts a few poems up at some point.

November-December 2007
I continue to discover writers, mainly through Tao Lin's blog and other mediums he uses. The World Looks Better In Pink reaches its pinnacle, from which it begins a two and a half year decline. I read 3:am magazine a lot. I discover Tony O'Neil. I discover Ellen Kennedy. I discover Blake Butler. I disocver Lamination Colony.

January 2008-April 2009
I take extended breaks from keeping up with the blogging and indie lit world. I occasionally check up on Tao Lin's blog, Noah Cicero's blog, Bear Parade, and 3:am magazine, but usually after a few weeeks of nonstop blog addiction I forget about it for the most part.   I start a blog called Fucking Big Thoughts but I don't do anything with it really. I become very pro-Obama, although I doubt that he will be able to fulfill all or most of his promises. I begin to have an interest in the blog HTML GIANT.

May-June 2009
I try to write an existentialist novel on Fucking Big Thoughts (thats this blog). I write a few chapters and give up because I realize it is kind of retarded. I discover Ben Brooks, Shane Jones, Brandon Gorrell, Zachary German, Chelsea Martin, Jordan Castro, DJ Berdnt, Ana C., Andrew Weatherhead, David Fishkind. I enjoy Chelsea Martin's book Everything Was Fine Until Whatever. I come to the conclusion that Ben Brooks may be the only person who reads my blog. Eventually I discover StatCounter. I check it occasionally or obsessively, depending on my mood.

July-August 2009
I write a lot of short poems about boredom on The World Looks Better In Pink.   I write a bunch of stories and post them on one of the blogs. I never consider submitting them elsewhere. I discover Sarah San.

September-December 2009
College takes over my life. I continue posting some stories sometimes. I discover Brittany Wallace and Steve Roggenbuck.

January 2010-May 2010
I begin posting a lot on both blogs. The World takes off again and reaches its second, new peak.

June-August 2010
End of the World, for all intents and purposes. I discover Sam Pink and Lee Rourke.

September-October 2010
I begin an MFA program, despite years of reading shit talking about MFA programs on lit blogs. I discover Stephen Tully Dierks and Crispin Best.

November 2010-March 2011
I decide to try to beef up my online image/profile, and begin submitting ideas and pieces to various sites, and I am accepted into some such as Thought Catalog, Metazen, For Every Year, and New Wave Vomit. I am rejected from McSweeneys and others. I disocver more things and people.

April 2011-September 2011
I try to beef up my literary persona more, but realize I can't rush it or else I will just give up. I also realize beefing up my literary persona and not giving up may be the rest of my young adulthood and possibly life.

do most people try to set paces for themselves in terms of reading?

2011-09-18T13:34:00.000-07:00

do most folks do this?

do YOU???????

when i sit down to read i try to pace myself to make sure i am focused. i generally try to keep my pace above 20 pages/hour and no greater than 35 pages/hour. i find that if i go less than 20 pgs/hr on a text then i am probably wasting too much time daydreaming, checking my phone, staring at an insect trying to get in my window, etc. if i go more than 30 pgs/hr, definitely 35 pgs/hr, then i find i wasn't reading closely enough.

i generally like to read between 25 and 30 pgs/hr. this make sense for most novels i try to read. that comes out to around a page for every 2 minutes. i think that is about how much time should be spent on a page (for my personal levels, in terms of processing a text). for a magazine, it is probably faster than that, as their are ads and/or material that i will most likely skip over. if it is something like a "norton critical edition" of an older novel or if it is a longer story or short novel in a "norton anthology" then i probably end up reading less pages per hour, because more text is usually condensed into the pages. of course, in those cases the text itself probably doesn't cover as many pages, but the whole "norton" thing also ends up slowing down the pace in other ways, because the text becomes a bit more disorienting or exhausting due to so many words being on a single page.

for a book of philosophy or other more dense non-fiction, my usual goal of 25-30 pgs/hr usually gets cut in half. this is what i have been noticing the past month or so when i pick up anti-oedipus. i realized each page was taking around 5 minutes, because that shit is dense. most other philosophy i have read is roughly the same in terms of the reading pace.

if its an online text, the pace generally varies more widely. for example, i read most the pangur ban party e-books in a single sitting. if i wasn't jumping around the internet doing other things i would probably finish them in around an hour.

anyways, other than "anti-oedipus", i have been reading "vacation" by deb olin unferth, and i am also in the middle of the first (out of 3) novella in rick moodys "right livelihoods".

i have my friend ben nadler's first novel too, i am working on that.

otherwise, most of the reading i am doing is finishing a melville novel per week for a seminar i am taking, and going over the reading for my class i am teaching.

i am teaching a freshman composition course, by the way, made up of prospective engineering students. i am supposed to ground them in technical writing but also try to get them interested in the humanities. some of the authors i have them reading are paul goodman, e.t.a. hoffman, j.g. ballard, manuel delanda, david foster wallace, franz kafka, mike davis, jane jacobs, george ritzer, maybe galilleo, and/or a few others. they are going to be watching "existenz" and either "blade runner" or "pirates of silicon valley." feel free to give me any suggestions related to this body of work, or talk shit about me and/or the material i am teaching.

here are links to things i have been reading recently on the internet:

my friend homer has a blog called "math-stract".....he used to have a similar blog by the same name that was collaborative, and now he's starting it up again, i guess.

dierk's e-book at pbp

a quick post by ken baumann at htmlgiant about michel houellebecq (one of my favorite writers, probably top 10, in case you never read this blog or don't know me)

my friend tracy o'neil has a story up at the center for fiction.....she also writes lots of book reviews, including one recently in the collagist

i will see you all again shortly, i hope, in this life or the next

addendum:

i am planning to write reviews of the following books over the next several months, let me know if i can publish them on your site, otherwise i may end up annoying you or just posting them on here. i also started writing some and then i realized i wanted to take the craft of writing a review more seriously than i have on this blog and in other publications, so i am trying to study reviews and figure out my own perfect aesthetic niche...............here are the texts i want/plan to review:

scott mcclanahan------stories V!
james payne---------austerity pleasures
mark leidner---------the angel in the dream of our hangover
ben nadler------harvitz, as to war
electric literature-------no.5
playboy ----------november 1979
mike bushnell-------traumahawk
sam pink-----------the new sam pink bundle of fun
no colony-------------no.1
mike young-----we are all good if they try hard enough
frank o'hara---------lunch poems
blake butler---------there is no year
megan boyle--------selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee

I dreamt

2011-08-17T08:59:00.000-07:00

I have a dream published on the Annandale Dream Gazette.

It is called "The MFA in Mixed Martial Arts"

I have moved the two dream links on the sidebar from the "fiction" to the "nonfiction" section. (They are also the same link, just posted twice. The link is to my author page on that site. Brilliant marketing strategy on my part.)

Makes sense, right? (Who cares.)

radical excitement and apathy

2011-08-09T16:34:00.000-07:00

i have been reading a lot about the riots/insurrection in england, still not

i kind of want to ask crispin best, ben brooks, or lee rourke about it, but i assume they probably are bogged down with lots of people asking about it

read a quick thing on reddit this morning that said that the iranian premier was urging the british government/police to show restraint

i am not sure if it was from a joke website

has anyone heard about the protests planned on wall street in september on constiution day?

is anyone planning on going?

i dont know

obviously there is most likely more than a coincidence to the fact that revolutions are occuring elsewhere in the world and then now this is happening in london/england (seems to be spreading to various cities somewhat rapidly, read that rubber bullets may be approved to suppress it, seems like a lot of looters and also a lot of pissed off people who arent in it just for looting maybe, appears that the entire government of the country was on vaca when this broke out, what a surprise)

the student protests last year were much milder but possibly some of the same contigencies/reasons

i think there are a lot of people in the western world or maybe as a whole who are immigrants, young, poor, or any combination who hate how shit has been developing

people feel like meat kind of, like they are getting put through a grinder and they dont have choices, maybe, i dont know

(kind of should probably stop writing about politics)

and then a lot of other people who hate how shit is going but they want the governments to stop spending money and enhancing social welfare programs and worrying about people's rights

and then lots of of people who are apathetic to varying degrees

i probably would want to place myself somewhere between the first and third groupings

although i think the first and second actually have a lot more in common, at least emotionally, ugh i need to stop typing

reading the bbc, same stories over and over again with just a few words/sentences changed, pretty much more or less

reading the nytimes, ditto

reading reddit, some more obscure/less publicized things referenced there

reading we who are about to die

yall should check out that site, i like that site a lot, it has an actual political involement, which is nice everyonce in a while

there are some good recent posts up on there about the riots (although the most recent post is, coincidentally, about the reading mentioned in my previous post, it just has pics and links, but check out some of the other posts on there, interesting takes on politics)

html giant isnt saying anything about it really. there was a post about the global market, specifically relating to the publishing industry, which i guess is tangentially related to this, because of the international economic implications of the debt crap

i like html giant though bc its usually somewhat depoliticized and talks about writing/lit/culture mainly

but i like we who are about to die bc of the opposite or whatever

cant form any coherent thoughts

are left-leaning people like me stupid how we always get spikes in our political interest/excitement about shit like this?

is the the world ending?

wikileaks

the "arab spring"

credit as the economic judgment of the morality of a human

us getting into some more wars leaving getting back in too many military bases or whatever

i think i dont really like violence, even though it interests me. if asked my direct moral beliefs on it i would have to think for a bit. is that apathetic?

think most people would say they dont like violence though, of course its all relative/conditional/contextual.

is it just everyone's interest/excitement gets spiked with shit like this?

feel like those of us who are into left or radical politics maybe always jump on shit like this when it happens (see 1968, for example. of course, see 1848 for somewhat of a counterexample)

thinking about sartre.....

thinking about camus.....

i think i might watch the newest episode of "breaking bad" or "curb your enthusiasm" because i am getting a headache