Full of Joy

THIS FRIDAY!

2012-03-21T16:08:00.000-04:00

This whole October Baby journey has been really exciting! Just this week alone, God provided us with an awesome deal to buy tickets at a cheaper rate so our teens get to save $4.50 a piece! I am blown away and blessed by God's provision.

Here is a new link for October Baby that just came out today: http://www.octoberbabymovie.net/_newsletters/partnersopeningweek/

The movie opens THIS FRIDAY, March 23. Hope you're able to go see it, I know you will be amazed at a story about God's healing power and redemption.

Undeniable

2012-03-13T18:10:00.000-04:00

There is an undeniable passion on my heart right now to promote the movie, "October Baby". Several months ago I was looking up information on a Bible Study book through Lifeway Publishers, and came across the "October Baby" clip. It caught my eye right away because our baby would have been born this past October.

After watching the trailer, I was riveted! Then, a few months later, I got connected with a crisis pregnancy center. Through their organization, Chuck and I were invited to see a pre-screening of the movie. I was particularly excited because I was already wanting to see it, and it was a FREE date night. You all know how much I LOVE free things.

We arrived early enough to get some popcorn and water, and noticed no one was sitting in the front row. We made ourselves comfortable, stretched out our legs and watched a powerful film. Afterwards we were really surprised when the writer of the movie and the two main actresses came out. I couldn't help but take a picture, even though I felt dumb doing so!

Jon Erwin, Shari Rigby, Rachel Hendrix

Hearing their testimonies, the passion they have for God, and their heart for LIFE was enough to inspire me to move. Go has really placed on my heart a burden to share this movie with people. We got permission to take teens from our youth group to opening night Friday, March 23!

I'm still praying that God will open the doors for a second opening of the movie in April in our local theater. Right now, the closest showing is 20 miles away, but I will not be deterred!

Even if there is not a theater near you playing the movie, still go online and BUY a ticket to any theater. This shows the movie industry that you are pro-life, and that you want more movies like this to be played in the future. To God be the glory!

Every Life is Beautiful

2012-03-09T15:53:00.000-05:00

That is the passion of my heart right now. If you follow me on Twitter, are friends with me on Facebook, or friends with me in general, you have probably heard me talk about the movie, "October Baby". Chuck and I had the chance to see a pre-screening of the Christian movie this past Tuesday night and were both moved by what we saw.

"October Baby" is about a girl who survived a failed-attempt abortion and was adopted. Her quest to find her birth mother to seek answers and healing make for a powerful film. If you love God, His power to heal and forgive, and believe in EVERY baby's right to life, then this movie is for you. Check out the trailer at: http://www.octoberbabymovie.net/

It opens in a theater near you just TWO weeks from today on March 23.

Mercedes

2012-01-12T19:06:00.000-05:00

This is 6 year old Mercedes. Our new "adopted daughter" of sorts. We are her "sponsor parents". Mercedes lives in Peru, and this picture melts my heart. I wrote Mercedes for the first time today and am so looking forward to connecting with her.

Chuck and I chose this special little girl because she was born on October 21, which was our baby's due date. We wanted to celebrate the life of our unborn child by supporting another child in need. I think our baby in Heaven would be pretty happy about this.

Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving!

2012-01-10T14:35:00.001-05:00

Today I am officially a thirty-year-old woman! I know I turned thirty yesterday, but I was still 29 for half of the day. Today I am completely thirty! I have been a little upset about leaving the twenties behind, but as I've thought about it- what's to be sad about?

A lot of my twenties were wrought with heartache, pain, loneliness, and great loss. Why would I want to stay in that decade? Hello 30! And Hello Jovie! Meet my 30th Birthday present from my absolutely incredible husband.

I have wanted a puggle for several years and was completely shocked when Chuck surprised me with my very own! He came home one day the week before Christmas and told me he had a surprise for my birthday but he needed to tell me about it early. I thought he was going to tell me about a trip or something, but then he said, "I am going to get you a puppy! I've been talking to a breeder and we can pick her up before Christmas Eve." I, of course wanted to get her RIGHT THEN. So we hopped in the car and headed an hour and a half south.

We met two puggles that night and my heart was instantly drawn to the sweet, quiet, calm little one that would sit in my lap and cuddle. The little daughters of the breeder told me that she was their favorite. It was so sad to take away their favorite puppy, and even more sad when they cried as we walked out of the house with our new addition. But, once we got in the car with our girl and bundled her up in a blanket, the happiness consumed me. I had my very own puppy!

As if getting Jovie wasn't a big enough surprise welcome into the 30's, Chuck also threw a big surprise party for me with the family and friends I grew up with in PA. It was held at one of my favorite places in NEPA- Northern Lights Cafe. What could be better than coffee, birthday cake, and friends all in one night?

Chuck had our favorite cake baker, Julie- who made our AMAZING wedding cake- make my cake. It was a banana cake, with chocolate chip butter cream filling, covered with chocolate butter cream frosting. OH.MY.WORD. It was fabulous! Thankfully we had left overs so I could enjoy it over and over that week. To have Julie make my cake was just extremely special. It was really touching that Chuck and Julie worked together to give me such a sweet gift.


Awesome poster Chuckie made for me. Had lots of pictures of family/friends.

Some of the fam- love 'em so much!


Love these guys!


My favorite Mama!


2 of my BFF's that came!

Many more were there, it was such a special night. I'd say turning 30 has been pretty wonderful. So far so good!

Special thanks to you, Babe. I could not have dreamed up a more perfect husband for me. Thankfully, God knew. I love you!

A Time To Give Thanks

2011-11-23T11:40:00.000-05:00

With all the writing I have been doing for Grad school, I have had no time to write for the pure enjoyment of it. I'm not sold on Grad school yet. The reason I have always disliked school so much is that it keeps me from doing a lot of others things I'd rather be doing. The same applies to Grad school. I am behind in life, missing out on things I'd love to be doing, and wishing I wasn't stuck doing homework so much. Though I am only in the middle of my first class, it very well might be my last! What I do like about class is the knowledge I've gained that can only help me move forward as a writer. We shall see, we shall see.

For now I am happy to write whatever I'd like, knowing there will be no grade at stake. Since it is Thanksgiving Eve, I'd like to give THANKS! I am thankful for...

~intimacy with God
~worship music
~Chuck
~the way Chuck sacrificially serves me
~Chuck's support of my goals and dreams
~2 1/2 wonderful years of marriage to a man who I have so much fun with
~Godly girlfriends
~Godly women who invest in me
~the privilege to serve and lead teenagers
~my small group of teen girls
~crazy-adorable nephews
~a dream job for my Dad
~close knit family
~a Mom to laugh with, who gets me
~babysitting jobs so that we can buy Christmas gifts
~a fabulous get away with Chuck and friends to Charleston
~the way music ministers to my soul
~friends who share in suffering with me
~God's unique love and adoration of me
~the power of God to change my heart
~being a Mother
~Jesus taking care of our child
~Starbucks Holiday drinks in the red cups

THANK YOU SWEET JESUS!

M

2011-11-03T17:57:00.000-04:00

My dear friend, Emily has started her own blog! I would like to take this time to welcome M to the blog world! No one else but M can bring out this side of me, as seen above. =)

Love you, M! Happy blogging! Check her out: Life, Livi, and the Pursuit of Love

Celebrate Good Times!

2011-10-18T11:30:00.002-04:00

Come on! ;)

A couple week ago Luke drove up with the boys, spent the night, and then I rode up with them to PA. A 4 1/2 hour trip turned into about 6 hours due to the joys of traffic, detours, and a cranky baby. But, the rocky journey was quickly forgotten when we pulled into our beloved home town of Clarks Summit, Pennsylvania! We had been planning a huge surprise for my Dad for weeks.

He just became the lead Pastor at my home church, and he is the happiest version of his fullest self. After a tough couple of years, this is a welcomed dream position for my parents. Heritage (the church) threw my Dad a celebration service at the beginning of October, so us kids really wanted to be there for him. Dad knew Chuck and I were coming, but he thought we would both be arriving on Sunday evening. He had no idea Luke, Chail, Rocky, and John Mark were coming, too!

The day Luke and I arrived with the boys is a day I will hold dear for a long, long time. My Mom and I were texting like crazy to figure out the best place to show up. It's no secret that Dad would be MOST excited about his grand babies, not his children. ;) We decided to go straight to the church where my Mom and Dad were doing some errands. I texted her when we arrived and she came running out to open the door. She ecstatically whispered, "Hurry, hurry! He's in his office!" So we pushed the boys ahead of us and when my Dad turned the corner, the scene was enough to move anyone with a heart to tears.

My Dad was so shocked and so happy all at once that he just crouched down to embrace Chail and Rocky while his tears got the best of him...and my Mom, and me.

Notice Gigi recording the scene

Our time together as a family flew by! With lots of family and friends around, I always wish time could stand still. There is no place in all the world where I feel as restful, peaceful, and happy as I do in good 'ol CS.

Grandpa and Gigi taking it all in

Me and my Little Love


Me and my Little Shweetie


Cakes surprising Dad!


Celebration service- My husband praying for my Dad!


Our little Pixie Grammy


LOTS of laughs with Aunt Cynth and Kayla

Date with the Rents

Down time with Daddy

Cakes thinks he's so funny...I'm really not drunk in this picture!

We laughed, we cried, we celebrated....a good time was had by all!

Regular

2011-09-21T16:20:00.000-04:00

Last week I commented to Chuck that we don't do crazy dates anymore. He smiled at me and countered, "Would you want to go dancing if I planned that?" I smiled back with my reply, "No!" His grin said what he didn't have to voice. He was right. I AM A HOME BODY. If choosing what my favorite thing to do would be, in my heart of hearts, I just want to be home with my husband. That's all. Nothing fancy, nothing crazy, nothing planned, just home with my Love. I love our home, and I love our relationship. What more could I desire?

Chuck and I spend a minimum of 3 nights a week- every week, away from home surrounded by people, mostly teens. We love that and love our time with others, but when there is a fee weekend evening, you better believe I want to be home. Last Friday night we found ourselves at home for the first time in weeks! We had pretty much spent the previous month with his family and were almost caught off guard that we actually didn't have plans. What a glorious discovery!

Once in awhile Chuck will accompany me to the grocery store (not his favorite activity, but it really helps me out and it's so much more fun!). The deal is (thanks to his Mama), he gets to pick out a treat at the store if he comes. Yes, my husband is 29 years old. =) So last Friday afternoon we headed out to the store to pick up some groceries so we could take our friends dinner. While shopping, Chuck was struck with an idea for a dessert we should try. I agreed and he claimed the ingredients as his treat. (Note: I am very strict with our grocery budget!)

Later that evening, we found ourselves excited to try this new version of a dessert we had in Germany. Chuck's friends had made us some sort of pastry deal one day and explained to him (in GERMAN) how to make it. We both had our own ideas so we had a Pastry-Off. Chuck made half, and I made half. We rolled out the dough, cut it into our particular squares and added the strawberry filling.

Roll it....

Chuck claims he won the Pastry-off because his LOOKED nicer than mine. I claim we tied because they all exploded in the oven and caused a mess of strawberry all over the pan!

Pat it...

Put it on the pan...(I forget the rest of that rhyme, haha!)

And our leftovers!

Just a nice, good 'ol, regular evening at HOME!

The Wedding (Take 2!)

2011-08-31T15:55:00.001-04:00

Saturday, August 13 brought Tim and Anni to their "American-style" wedding. Let me tell you, those Germans like to really extend their celebrations! That is something to be desired for Chuck and I. We really love that the German culture takes TIME with each other. They are not in a rush, they do not have plans after plans, and they can just sit and enjoy each other. It's a lovely experience, until my Northern VA attitude kicks in and then I have to remind myself to just BE and enjoy the moments with people. This wedding went on from about 12:30pm until 12:00am. I've never experienced any other wedding like it. It taught me a great deal about the value of being together without being in a hurry.

As the honored Groom stood at the front of the church that Saturday I was struck with how LONG he stood at the front of the church. Tim had plenty of time to observe his surroundings, smile at his guests, but mostly he just gazed down the center aisle with sheer anticipation and excitement for his Bride to arrive.


Waiting for her...

She's coming! Look at that SMILE!

Not the best angle, but there she is! She looked so beautiful!

Finally together. Love the happy tears!

And so it begins....

Wedding #1

2011-08-30T21:10:00.000-04:00

Just about to be MARRIED! (Tim and Anni, that is!)

I know this sign says something about marriage, but I can't quite remember. In Germany, the "real" wedding takes place at the courthouse, and that actually counts as the anniversary date. In the case of Tim and Anni, they also had another wedding celebration the next day that was more like an "American-style" wedding.

The courthouse wedding was wonderful, even though I couldn't understand a word anyone was saying! Chuck did an amazing job of interpreting for me, but I still constantly felt frustrated in not knowing the language. I wanted to know every detail of what was going on, but that just wasn't possible. So, I found myself paying closer attention to facial expressions, body language, and the environment around me. I have heard that when one of the 5 senses is lost, then the other senses kick into over-drive. That's how I felt in Germany. Though "understanding a foreign language" isn't a sense, it certainly feels like it! My other senses kicked into high gear and I snapped pictures like crazy!


Exchanging the rings!


Still exchanging!


Mr. & Mrs. Dubbe! YAY!

I wore really high heels that day!

After the marriage ceremony (for lack of a better word!) Tim and Anni treated family and a few friends to a delicious brunch! Oh how I love trying and eating German food! This place served some sort of amazingly huge pancake-type entree. They had me at pancakes! There was also a constant supply of hot tea and hot coffee on the table which I took advantage of and thoroughly enjoyed. This place was outside, but there was a covering over our tables. The restaurant supplied pillows to sit on, and blankets to cover up with. There could be no better combination for me! I wish ALL restaurants provided blankets! I usually freeze to death and so I fully embraced the blanket provisions. We had such a lovely meal together celebrating the happy couple! BUT, the fun had only just begun!

Pre-Wedding Days

2011-08-29T13:27:00.000-04:00

My posts have been a bit wordy, so thought I'd keep it short today. Here is the happy couple, just one day before they married...

Braut Party Part II

2011-08-28T17:45:00.001-04:00

Present time at the Bridal Party was full of sweet moments. Anni has a silly side to her personality, but also a thoughtful, emotional side which we got to see a lot during the wedding week. The little ducks she was holding up in this picture were so cute! Perfectly representing her silly, fun-loving side. Bride and Groom rubber duckies that Maria (in the background) found in Berlin. The Groom duck even had red hair, just like Timmy.

One of my favorite gifts that Anni received was this HOME MADE memo board, hand-crafted by her friend, Lissie. Lissie created the wood backing, as well as the sewing of the front cloth. It was absolutely adorable! What talent! Plus, the time and thought she put into her gift was really touching. Talk about a sweet gift. I noticed that Germans seem to put a lot of thought and creativity into their gifts. They don't just throw gifts in a bag, they'll hand-wrap a gift with some sort of personal touch: like ribbons, hanging decorations, or some other sentiment. Don't get me wrong, my American gift bag was front and center, I don't even TRY to attempt crafty gifts. It's not me, and no one would think it was special if I attempted to hand-craft something, haha! I just admire that trait about the Germans, and the Dubbe family in general. (Yes, my husband is 100% more creative and crafty than I will ever even attempt to be.)

Here we are, the Dubbe sisters. I just love these girls! Something I love is that our relationships were not the meet and become best friends right away kind. These relationships have taken time, effort, attention, and more time to grow. After pouring lots of love into the mixture, we have slowly become the sister-in-laws I have always wanted. Between long distance, language barriers, protectiveness, and different personalities becoming sister-in-laws was not a walk in the park. But I was struck at the Bridal Party at how we've all grown closer, more comfortable, and deeper in love with each other. Praise God for the gift of girls in the family!

Group shot! True to herself, my sweet Mother-in-Law tried very hard to blend into the background. She's the pretty lady hiding in the back middle in the green top. I had to call her over to join the group as she was slowly sneaking away when we gathered for the group photo. Mom Dubbe is so much fun for me to be around. And it's not just because she was 1 of only 3 people I could talk to that day! ;) I enjoy how much she laughs, the insight she has to offer, and her observations of what's going on around us. I've never had Mother-in-Law issues, and am very blessed to be Tricia's first daughter-in-law. Oh, I'm happy to share the D-i-L role with Anni now, too!

Anni's sister, Inna, is on my left. Incredibly lovely girl.

Another sweet moment during the party was when one our nephews, Gabe (4), came sneaking (hhmm, lots of sneaking in this family!) around the back of the house towards his mom, Becky with flowers behind his back!

To finish my observations of sweetness, I really loved how after Anni opened a gift, she would hug the giver of the gift. Her appreciation for each friend, or family member was evident not only by the smile (and dimples!) on her face, but in her affectionate hugs as well. I know this picture is blurry, but it's the only hug moment I caught!

Well, after the Braut Party came much more wedding stuff! I'll save that for another day though.... ;)

Braut Party

2011-08-27T18:27:00.000-04:00

Can you guess who the beautiful, blushing, bride-to-be is in this picture? If you'll look carefully, Anni is wearing the blue sash in the middle. In English the sash translates to, "Germany is searching for the super bride!" It's a take off a popular show over there called, "Germany is Searching for the Super Star". The sash was perfect for our "Hollywood" themed bridal shower that we (the Dubbe women) threw for our sis-to-be, Anni! It was a perfect theme since Tim and Anni went to Hollywood, CA for their honeymoon. If you didn't know, Chuck and I flew over to Germany the first couple weeks of August to help celebrate his brother Tim's marriage to Anni.

Yep, that's our second trip to Deutschland in less than a years time. Chuck and I were happy to go and spend time with our fam over there and help out as much as we could with the weddings (Yes, I said weddingS- more on that later). Truly, it was an honor to be there. Germany is becoming more and more apart of my heart as I get to know the culture little by little and get to know my "new" family who lives there. Truth be told, I think it's the FOOD over there that is winning my heart the most! ;)

As I sit in our cozy apartment tonight with the "hurricane" raining down around us, I am at a loss at how to proceed. Chuck and I have had the busiest three months we've ever had with more traveling than we've ever done. It was a blissful, FULL OF JOY kind of summer. A gift from my God directly to me. Traveling proved to refresh my heart and spirit as I had spent the spring mourning and grieving in a very dark place. Not that I am completely whole, I will never "get over" our loss, but my heart was ministered to in unique ways this summer by our oh-so-GOOD God.

All this to say, I don't mean to skip through our whole summer and only blog about Germany, but Germany is fresh on my mind. I contemplated posting pictures on Facebook, but that seemed to cheapen the experience. There are many memories, stories, and love associated with each picture that I can't just post the pictures without sharing at least some of my heart.

So the Braut Party (Bridal Party: the shower we threw for Anni. Germans don't throw "showers" so we improvised!) was our first big event upon arriving in Germany. It was a joy to be able to express our love for Anni in having her join our family as a Dubbe with the party. Since we have a bit of a language barrier, it was a tangible way to do just that.


"Pin the Kisses on Tim"

A game that Chuck's older sister, Becky, had debuted at the shower she had thrown for me! It was special to play it again at Anni's shower. We even used the same "Bridal Pin" that I had worn at my shower as well. It was special to start some traditions of our own!

"Hollywood Stars" game. Anni had to guess which hand prints were Timmy's! She guessed correctly!

I'll save more of my thoughts on the Braut Party for tomorrow. There's so much to say! Stay tuned!

My new sis-in-law! Isn't she just beautiful?! We are a blessed family. P.S. Notice the pin? =)

Summer Lovin'

2011-07-22T13:42:00.000-04:00

The longer I am married to this man of mine, the more I love him. It's hard to explain in words, but sometimes I love him so much that my stomach hurts. I know Chuck is God's and is only my temporary companion on this earth, but I am sure thankful the Lord has loaned him to me! We had a lovely get-away to VA Beach at the beginning of the summer. It was a special trip as we don't often get time away, just the two of us.

This was a fun place, though they spelled my name wrong, they did get the birth year correct!

It did rain on our beach day but that didn't stop us! Just being together with no agenda was the best. I absolutely LOVE spending time with this man. Even when we're just reading, my heart feels so content.

Dough Boys was a good time. Their decor reminded us of our neighbor's cool van.

Our neighbor's van back at home. This is the kind of van we wanted to ride around in on our wedding day! NOW we find one, 2 years later, ha!

For dessert we enjoyed ourselves at a local spot called "Skinny Dip". Pretty fantastic frozen yogurt!

Right before we headed home. Of course the weather was GORGEOUS the day we had to leave! All's well that ends well, I suppose! My summary of our time: VACATION IS NEVER LONG ENOUGH! =)

Ah...

2011-06-25T15:45:00.000-04:00

Ah...this pretty much sums up our wonderful vacation!

Please pray as we head into our next big summer event- our first missions trip together with the teens!

Can't wait to share all that God does!

My Love

2011-06-18T20:52:00.001-04:00

Happy Two Year Anniversary to my Love! How have two years really gone by? I still find myself having nightmares that Chuck and I are not yet married, and in these nightmares, I long to be his wife. When I wake up, it is an amazing relief to realize that I am TRULY married to the love of my life. FOR REAL. I love Charles Robert Dubbe so much. Like crazy. It's incredible to be his wife. When I walked into the sanctuary the day I married him, I could not wait to see his handsome face. I had to look as soon as I could.

Chuckie clearly felt the same way.

I suppose most married couples feel the way we do, but I still want to say it. I absolutely love spending every minute of every day with my Love. If I could, I would have him home all day every day. I enjoy his presence. I enjoy hearing him stomp (it's how he walks!) around our apartment, and rummage around in the fridge when he's bored. This man makes me so HAPPY. If this animated picture doesn't prove it, I don't know what would!

My husband is my most favorite companion. I appreciate that he exercises with me on all of his days off. Even though my exercise is "only" walking. We love talking about all of the people in our lives. Our family, our friends, our neighbors. We love reaching out to those around us and sharing Christ with them together. I'm blessed that I no longer have to live alone! I never thought this day would come.

Even when we go through the darkest of times, like losing our precious baby, Chuck is a solid force for me. When I was struggling so bad physically, he literally held me as I stumbled to the bathroom. He made the bed for me when I was too weak to pull back the covers. He set his alarm for 3 in the morning to give me my pain medication. He learned how to make a home-made heating pad, and re-heated the thing countless times for me. You don't imagine these things when standing at the altar, but they are real and they are true and God has drawn us closer together in the midst of it.

I adore watching my Babe with the teens. He is a natural-born leader and he leads so well. It's such a joy for me to see him lead a discussion, run an entire retreat, or speak to over a hundred teens on a Sunday morning and radiate with joy in doing so. It's crazy to see him pour hours of his free time into power point slides that the teens will be drawn to at an event. I love being married to a man who knows exactly who he is and exactly how God wants him to spend his life. With me and with teens!

God has blessed us together. Two years later, we are happy. A little battered, a little bruised, but wiser, stronger, and more in love than ever before.

Happy Anniversary (a couple days early!) Dovo! I love you so. And Happy Father's Day to you. I can't wait to spend eternity with our Savior and finally get to meet our very own Little Love.

(Photos again by the rock star: Joanna Nunemaker!)

Father

2011-06-18T20:07:00.001-04:00

Each year I am torn because Father's Day always lands closely with our Anniversary. We got married the day before Father's Day the year of our wedding and it made our week even more special. I can't help but think of Father's Day when I think of our wedding. Tonight I will write TWO posts. One for my Dad and one for my husband.

There were times in my life when I had to wonder if my Dad would be able to walk me down that wedding aisle. Yesterday my family was able to celebrate anew when we got the incredible news that my Dad's heart is HEALTHY! His tests showed no changes since last year at this time. Hallelujah, praise our God! I continually pray for my Dad's heart to remain healthy. I frequently wake up at night in a semi-panic and pray for God's powerful hand over my Dad's heart and health. It is a relief to be able to thank God for answering those cries today.

I will be forever grateful that my Dad was, in fact, able to walk me down my wedding aisle. He still likes to say that walking me down the aisle was "the shortest walk of his life".

My Dad is so sweet. It seems that after each of his heart surgeries he became softer and softer. The Amos family secret though, is that Dad was always the softie. ;) He often surprises me with my most favorite Tasty Kakes in the world: Chocolate Juniors. It always means so much. When I turned 16, my Dad gave me a heart-shaped locket that I still have and love. I remember almost crying when he gave it to me. One of my favorite purple sweaters was picked out for me by my Dad- I love sharing with people that he gave it to me.

My Dad loves to laugh! We can often by found laughing together. Whether it's at my Mom who does something hilarious by accident, a ridiculous app that is secretly added to my phone, a dumb Youtube video, or watching our beloved Chail in action, we love to laugh together!

My Dad took me out on little dates starting when I was just a little girl. I remember sitting at a high table at McDonald's eating pancakes off of a Styrofoam plate and reveling in it. Just me and my Dad. On beach vacations, we used to hop in my Dad's truck, just the two of us, crank up the oldies station, roll those windows down and cruise to Wawa for our sausage biscuits and coffee. As I've gotten older, we've moved our pancake dates from McDonald's to Perkins, who Dad claims, have the best pancakes on the planet. I agree!

My Dad is a GREAT hugger. Countless moments exist in my memory of my Dad holding me as I cried over fears, pains, heart aches, or failures. Countless memories exist of my Dad crying right along with me. He always holds on tight during those moments and I can feel how much he loves and adores me. Now that we are hours apart, when we get to see each other, there is nothing like those Dad-hugs.

My Dad has always made our family a priority. And even now, he is dedicated to my new husband and me together. He makes trips to visit us, sends emails, texts, and calls just to check in. When my Dad got the package in the mail announcing that Chuck and I were going to have our first baby, he cried tears of joy. When we had to call weeks later to tell him our baby was with Jesus, he cried tears of sorrow. I don't think he cares about anything more than his family.

Father, I feel the same way! I'm still your girl, and always will be. I love you with all my heart. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!

(All pictures were taken by our beloved Joanna Nunemaker!)

Pray for this weekend.

2011-06-03T14:13:00.001-04:00

We are getting ready to leave in a little bit. This weekend, Chuck and I are going on a retreat with our Semp group. This includes 15 teens and 4 of us leaders. Pray that God does GREAT things this weekend, as I know He will!

This retreat is designed to get us together as a true team, and to get to know each other a lot better. There are three 8th graders coming on the trip that we really don't know at all since they just graduated from Jr. High. Chuck has been working hard at putting this retreat together. He will be speaking 6 times, and then has to speak again on Sunday morning to the whole youth group.

Pray for strength, and especially wisdom for Chuckie! Pray as he teaches the teens how to share the gospel with others.

Pray for me to get to know the girls better, especially the 8th graders.

Pray that God works in hearts and that it would be a valuable weekend together. Pray that we begin to feel confidant about sharing the gospel.

Thank you so much for praying for us! We rest in the power of those prayers!

Big Trip!

2011-06-03T14:07:00.000-04:00

Well, I never thought I’d be going on another High School mission’s trip. But here I am, working alongside Chuck with teens at our church, and of course that means summer trips! Chuck and I are leading a group of 15 teenagers to attend a conference in Chicago, “Students Equipped to Minister to Peers- SEMP”. SEMP will be held on the campus of Moody Bible Institute in downtown Chicago. The teens will be trained in apologetics, and will be able to practice sharing God’s love with people on the streets of the city.

I am now inviting and asking you to pray for Chuck and me as we lead our group from June 26-July 2. Please pray for these five areas:

Pray for protection on our marriage. Pray that God unites us, as we will both be staying with teens for the week.

Pray for God to give me an excitement and passion in my heart to serve the teen girls all week long, especially when we’re all tired.

Pray for courage from God as street witnessing is intimidating and scary for me.

Pray for strength from God. We will be getting minimal sleep. Also, our trip ends with a camp-out back home in VA with the upcoming freshman class.

Pray for open doors and opportunities with unsaved friends at home in VA. I would love to meet more unsaved people.

If you would like to pray for Chuck and me, we would be honored.

Lastly, we would like to thank you for praying for us with the recent loss of our baby. It has been so painful but we have felt God’s peace through your prayers for us. Pray for my heart in particular at SEMP as I was anticipating with joy being about 5 months pregnant. It is hard to move forward without our precious one.

Thank you for your love and prayers. We love you, too!

You Be The Judge

2011-05-24T13:04:00.002-04:00

The other day it was beautiful outside. And by beautiful I mean it was a nice, HOT day in the 80's. Chuck and I had spent our week with a lot of different people, serving at different events, and were finally allotted an afternoon just for us.

Since I had never been, we headed over to Old Town Alexandria, the third oldest historic district in the nation. A neighborhood once home to George Washington and Robert E. Lee! I love the history around here! We found a great parking spot and strolled up and down the historic cobblestone streets marveling at the buildings, enjoying the interesting people all around us, and of course wandered down to the waterfront of the Potomac River. The river boats were my favorite site, I think. Those big paddelwheel boats fascinate me. Chuck mentioned how you feel like you're in a Mark Twain book and that's exactly what I was thinking, too. See the "Cherryblossom" in the background? Super cute.

Since the weather was so perfect, we absolutely had to get ice cream cones! We both ordered BABY cones, but I ask you, which cone looks "baby" to you? And which cone looks like a TOTAL rip off?! I'll give you a hint, the girl serving CHUCK his cone must have found my husband a lot more attractive than she did me!

With or without a big scoop of ice cream, it was quite a quaint afternoon. There is something so relaxing about walking around, taking in the sites, and best of all, enjoying my favorite person in all the world.

Hobby Lobby

2011-05-19T14:39:00.000-04:00

We have a hobby! It all started back when I was living with Luke, Trisha, Chail, and Philly. Back before the days of Rocky came along. Back when Chuck and I were only good 'ol boyfriend and girlfriend. Actually, I believe we were engaged. I'm getting off topic. Thinking back on the days when we began is such a happy place. But anyway.

When Chuck graduated from Grad school and received his Masters degree, his family threw a big party for him. I wanted to make him a special cake for the occasion. At the time I was under the impression that carrot cake was his favorite kind. (Later on once we were married I found out in a large group of people that carrot cake was NOT, in fact, my husband's favorite cake!) So I made this absolutely fabulous Paula Deen recipe with butter cream icing. To die for. Absolutely to die for. The only problem was, I had and still have zero decorating skills. Chuck insisted that decorating his own cake would be totally fine. I felt funny about it, but it was going to be the main dessert in front of his whole family and I wanted it to look great.

That's when our hobby began. I bake, he decorates!

A few weeks after the big Grad party, it was Chail's first brithday! Who better to make my Little Love his very first birthday cake than his adoring Auntie?! At the time, Chail was crazy about the show, "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" so Mickey became the party theme. Again, I baked and my faithful sidekick decorated. I'd have to say the Mickey cake is probably my favorite we've done. Chail got part of Mickey's ear, the cupcake, to eat all by himself. YUM!

Then for Rocky's first birthday, and Chail's third birthday, Chuck and I again tag-teamed it and made a cookie cake decorated with a monkey. That one looked awesome, but we forgot our camera. Boo. Sadly, it tasted really bad because I over-cooked it. Double boo.

I decided to redeem myself and perfect the cookie cake. We went to our friend's house for dinner last week and tested our skills again. Voila! The cake turned out fabulously! Chewy, gooey, chocolately, and definitely chippy. Oh yeah! My Mom sent us a new frosting recipe that worked really well for decorating. We also bought cake decorating tools which helped us a lot. Up until the new tools we were just using plastic bags with not-so-great taped in tips.

Our friends have 6 kids with another on the way, so we wanted to make the cake with each member of the family represented. The kids loved it! There may have even been arguments over who got what piece. ;)

This week we made a Spring themed cookie cake for our small group. It was a big, fun hit. Now we just have to wait for another excuse to keep on baking and decorating!

Oh These Times Are Hard

2011-05-13T15:18:00.001-04:00

(This post was originally posted on Wednesday 5/11, but got deleted some how. Sad. Thankfully a friend had saved it so now I am re-posting. (Thanks Laura!!!) I feel bad that previous comments got deleted. So, here it is again. I will post again soon, and hopefully won't be such a downer. ;)

Anyone know that song? Whenever it comes on the radio, I just blast and sing. The lyrics go something like, "Oh these times are hard, they're making me crazy...." And I could be wrong. It's happened before where I sing a song one way, but the actual lyrics are completely different than what I had been singing. In this case, I am very happy singing my version of the song, because THESE TIMES ARE HARD.

It's been 2 months and 4 days since we found out our baby didn't have a heartbeat. 2 months?! Could 2 months have really gone by? What's hard about time is my thoughts turn to, "Our baby should be 2 months more developed", or "I would be showing by now", or "The morning sickness would have been behind me". And what's even harder is the women I am surrounded by whose babies ARE developing healthily, who ARE showing, and who DO have morning sickness behind them.

It's the women at church who were chasing after their little ones at church on Mother's Day. The pregnant girls who were standing holding their tummies, glowing from happiness. Those women make the healing process so unbearably difficult at times. But what can be done about that? Absolutely nothing. I realize I sound completely selfish, but that is not my heart. My heart believes it's a joyous miracle for those other women. I would never want to take that away from them or wish them in the same position as me.

It's just the irony of their joy and their tummies are such a torturous REMINDER of the loss of our own baby. My arms absolutely ache to hold our baby. I can't even type that sentence without breaking down into tears. I didn't get a chance to hold our child, or to look into his or her face and kiss their cheeks. I didn't get to change their diapers or swaddle them in a cozy blanket. I didn't get to feed them or rock them to sleep. I didn't get to tell our baby HOW MUCH I LOVED HIM OR HER How much I still love. How much I will always love. I never got to say it to their little ears. And since I'm already weeping, I might as well just finish with a bang.

There was nothing I could do as a Mother to protect the life of my own baby. There was nothing I could do. Nothing. And that pain is something I know I will be familiar with for the rest of my life, and right now it's welcoming me to Motherhood in a very cruel way.

I do want to share Jesus...the good news!

2011-04-12T12:20:00.002-04:00

Finding out that my Doctor was switching practices was a big bummer. I felt an emotional attachment to her on a number of levels. Not the least of these being I hadn't shared Christ's love with her yet. This led me to my typical best course of action: I wrote her a letter. I thanked her for numerous personal things, and went on to tell her how God loved her. Since I am apart of a fantastic church body, Reston Bible Church, I also invited her to come anytime. The letter got put in the mail, with high hopes it would actually reach my Doctor before she left.

Weeks later, I was still going into the office every week for blood work (still am for that matter, what a loooooong process- have I mentioned how long this process is?!). Last Monday I sat in my usual gray blood-drawing seat. I am so not a fan of those seats. You know the ones with the arm "rest" thing that comes down in front of you and traps you onto the seat so you can't get out? My arm never feels at rest there, that's for sure. Ugh. While waiting for the inevitable, the office manager wandered in to check in on how I was doing. I'll call her Sara.

Sara was full of kindness and sorrow for me. Very touching. She began to share with me that she's not a spiritual person but during times like losing a baby she has to wonder about such things. Ding ding ding! I LOVE TO SHARE JESUS! And God gave me the most wonderful chance to tell her how good God had been to me during such a sad time. I got to share how God had been my comfort. She then questioned how I could still feel so sad if God was my comfort? In so many words, I told her honestly that God was my strength for each day and that was enough, even though it still hurt.

THEN ladies and gentlemen, Sara said to me, "Didn't you write the Dr. a letter?" She continued, "It was the most beautiful letter. And didn't you invite her to your church? What church was that?" Oh my. As we continued to talk, I told her all about RBC with joy in my heart. I got to tell her how God had used the people of that church to really lift me up during this time. Sara then said, "Well, the Dr. definitely got your letter before she left." Hallelujah.

Nothing forced, nothing unnatural. Just God opening wide the door to a great conversation during a time and in a place I would never have been able to predict. This is exactly how I love to share the love of Jesus. God has used this scenario to lift my spirits and remind me that I do love to talk about Him. Just because I don't enjoy being guilted in to sharing the gospel with people, doesn't mean I don't love sharing HIM!

Thank you God for such an amazing opportunity.

I do want to share Jesus...

2011-04-04T16:10:00.000-04:00

Lately Chuck and I have attended conferences, camps, or heard speakers that have frankly made me feel like the worst Christian ever. I was literally sitting at a conference where I was told to get out my cell phone immediately and call an unsaved friend right then and there and share the gospel with them. Excuse me?

Now please hear my heart, I WANT TO SHARE THE LOVE OF JESUS WITH PEOPLE. Yes, I do! Especially with friends that I care deeply for. Even with strangers for that matter. I want to share about what God has done in my life and how He can do that in their's too. But I don't not want to shove it super awkwardly at them with some random phone call. I will say that I called my friend and invited her to go for coffee instead, thus building a relationship with her first. I've been pretty down in the dumps about what a bad witness I am though. OK, I don't really believe that about myself, but that's how these speakers have made me feel.

Well today I had lunch with a friend. I had shared with her my regrets at not telling my Doctor about God in my life before she switched practices. She had been the one to first tell me that our baby's heart was not beating and that it looked like I would miscarry. I can't imagine how she must have felt when she did the ultrasound, and could not find a heart beat. I had no clue. I was gazing at the ultrasound screen mesmerized by the very first siting of our deeply beloved baby. It was exciting for me! And I was feeling a little upset because I had told Chuck not to come as I "knew the appointment would be no big deal." In my naivety I thought, "Well, he'll get to be here next week to see this!" and went on with gazing at our incredible child. But the Doctor knew right away something was wrong. As she shared the news that would absolutely rip my heart out, she did it with kindness, understanding, and such warmth.

I sat vulnerably on the table covered in that humbling little sheet and silently tried not to cry. Tears were unavoidable, and my Doctor sat there with me as they flowed freely down my cheeks. How must she have felt? I could muster no audible word besides, "OK", and I'm not even sure if that's technically a real word.

After that heartbreaking appointment my Doctor shared confidentially with us that she would be moving to a new practice. The disappointment and sadness kicked in right away. I was touched that she shared this news with Chuck and I. We were able to express our gratitude to her. She said she really liked me and that greatly touched my heart .

***

I'm not a fan of super long posts and this has gone on long enough. Too be continued...