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http://www.blogtalkradio.com/fulltimefamilies/2012/05/14/road-rebelles-radio

The Bucket Bunch at the 138th Kentucky Derby

“Who’s got the key to this gate?”

“Just break it down!” yelled the frantic police officer.  Just to the right of Sean’s arm, you can see the chain and the slight opening that led to the clearly labeled Emergency Exit.

The clearly labeled but very much locked "Emergency Exit"

The time was 6:45pm.  We’d been in the infield at Churchill Downs, on this, the first Saturday of May, also known as the 138th Kentucky Derby Day, for more than 11 hours!

Our neighbor, who’d also spent the last 11 hours in temps upwards of 90 degrees and 100% humidity, lay topless and lifeless on a blue tarp under that darker blue awning in the picture above.

Five armed officers thrashed steel toed boots at the gate, while paramedics counted chest compressions and charged up the defibrillator.

11 hours earlier, when we had claimed the speck of land adjacent to this Emergency Exit, Sean had said, “I wonder, who in the world, has the key to that?”.  Little did we know how prophetic that question would become.

It was 8 in the morning and we, 11 Bucket Listers, (4 adults and 7 children ranging in age from 13 years old to 22 mos) were getting acclimated to the patch of grass that would serve as our home for the entire day.

DJ dealt with the heat by taking a very long nap

I can remember willing myself to absorb every element of the derby experience.  For the last 35 years I have ached to attend “The Greatest 2 Minutes in sports” and here I was, finally!

At 10:30, the water from the early morning rain storm was evaporating, sending a wave of heat from the ground straight into the air.  Things were heating up and the ponies had begun to run.

The Infield is full of Free Stuff!

What I had always envisioned as an Upper Crust event full of fancy hats and minty cocktails, might have actually been in the bleachers, but here in the infield, where my blanket was laid out, was Kentucky’s version of ol’ school Nascar, complete with horse power and mud wranglin’ wild women!

When I had packed up my brood early in the morning, I had fretted over a possible dress code.  The irony, I bemused, as the police routinely shuttled people to the paddy wagon, each with considerably less clothing than the group before.

These girls got their own escort to the Paddy Wagon

As the day wore on, the crowds and lines grew exponentially.  The garbage cans overflowed en masse by 11am, giving the infield an apocolyptic auro.

Beer bottles were EVERYWHERE!  When the lines for luke warm $4 waters are longer than $8 ice cold beers, people drink beer – and lots of it!

The day was a long, hot, sweaty tirade of sun, punctunated by 9, 2 minute races.  That’s 18 minutes of entertainment in 11 hours!  The rest of the time was spent, picking horses from our program, standing on line making bets, collecting meager winnings and occassionally yelling at people who tried to encroach on our homestead.  Is that what you thought the Kentucky Derby would be like?  Me neither!

50,000 people make a lot of trash!

But as the Debutantes curls flattened and mascara ran down their faces, debauchery set in and death lingered in the air, seeking to grasp one unlucky soul who had miscalculated the brutal force of the heat and toll of the unrelenting sun.

Minutes before the 6:30 post time, our ‘camp’ was a flurry of activity as we packed up and got ready to make a mad dash to our trucks (parked 1 mile down the road).

What we had sacrificed in lack of shade all day (ultimately leaving with 1st degree sunburns) we made up for in portability as we had no cooler or awning to tote home.  You can click here to learn from our mistakes and make sure you are more prepared for this once in a lifetime event.

The crowd swelled toward the gates, and collectively held their breath as the Triple Crown contenders made their mad dash.   “I’ll Have Another” claimed the lilies for the fillys and we pivoted 90 degrees to make a hasty retreat.

And then the commotion started…

The Emergency Exit, quivered and wavered with each kick, but absolutely refused to yield egress to the victim who so desperately needed it as the seconds ticked away his life force.

As my eyes searched for the epicenter of the emergency, he came into focus.  A bloated, milky corpse with first responders swarming his body like buzzards.  With my 9 year old at my side, I stood frozen as the scene unraveled in front of us.

There was counting, and puffing, and pleading and praying, but the man could not be coaxed back to life.

Then a shout of “CLEAR” and the paddles were placed on his bare chest.  His body violently arched and floated back to the tarp.

Applause broke out!  He had been revived, but his status was still critical.

How would they transport him through this crowd to get him stabilized?

How long had he been unconscious before the police had arrived?

Would they ever get that Emergency Exit open?

And who in the world had that key?

I have no idea what happened to that man.  I hope he’s ok and maybe rethinking is attendance for next year’s derby.

As for me… the next time I attend the Kentucky Derby will be via a chauffeured limousine, watching the event from the comfort of my air conditioned box.  Until then, I’ll just tune in!

12 hours for 2 minutes - Is it worth it?

So you want to go to the Kentucky Derby?  A word to the wise, this is not for the faint of heart and may not be what you would consider a “family friendly event”.

In between races, there's other entertainment!

We went in May 2012, a 35 year dream in the making for me.  You can read about our experience here.

If, after you read our account, you still are interested in going… here’s the low down on how to make the most of your derby day.   Keep in mind, we were woefully unprepared and hoping to spare you the same ordeal. The *’s indicate the things we DID NOT HAVE and desperately wished we did!

Like all things, preparation is the key to success. 

You should bring:

• WATER, WATER and more WATER! (We brought 4 bottles … for 11 of us;)
• A Cooler of Ice (preferably on wheels) – f/t campers don’t have coolers!
• An Easy Up or Awning – You’ll need shade – and you’ll need to bring your own .
• A roll of Caution Tape – we were able to beg some small strips of this
• Folding chairs – nope
• Blankets – 1
• Hats (Fabulous Ones for the Gals – Absolutely!  Straw for the Fellas)
• Sunglasses – forgot ‘em!
• Sunscreen- heck no, that’s for sissies!
• Rain Ponchos – amazingly yes!
• A ton of snacks – yup!
• Wear rain boots but bring Flip flops
• Baby wipes – thankfully yes!
• Hand Santizer  -would have been nice!
• $$$$$CASH$$$$$$ – yup!
• Decks of cards – nope
• Games for kids, crayons, coloring books, a ball – nada!

You want a spot on the fence at turn 1 - turn 3 has a wild reputation

DO: Buy your tickets online and print them at home.  There are an unlimited number of $40 infield tickets sold for the derby, but they’ll cost you $50 at the ticket booth!

DO: Get the majority of your party and all your stuff dropped off at the gates and then send the driver to park.  They should be able to park about a mile away from the gates for $10 for the entire day.  The closer you get, the more you’ll pay, with $50 spots right down the block from Churchill Downs.

DO:  Get to the ticket boots at 7:30am – the gates open at 8am and you want to be among the first in the turnstiles.

DO: Send a scouting party out; Send two people from your party with the roll of Caution Tape to block out an area right by the gates on Turn 1.  These individuals, should be able to quickly go through the tunnel and make an immediate right when they get to the infield. Get to the gate and stake their claim with a large enough “Caution Tape” square to comfortably fit your entire party and all your stuff.  It’s 10 and a 1/2 hours (yes, you read that right… you arrived 10.5 hours before the actual Kentucky Derby) until the Big Race and you’ll want your space to keep your sanity.

DO: Set up your area and settle in, it’s going to be a LONG day!

DO: Check out the booths in the infield.  We got free sunglasses, free stickers, hats, a free picture, and tons of stuff.

DO: Stalk the press – what’s the point of being at the Derby if you don’t make the paper ;0

DO: Get a Mint Julep and a Lily. You’ll go home with souvenir glasses and be able to check these crucial items off your bucket list!

DO: Get a program.

DO: Make all your bets at once.  As the day progresses the lines go from 5 mins to over an hour to place your bets.  Making them all at once will save you tons of time – as will cashing in all your winning tickets at once.

DO: Make friends with your neighbors.  They will serve as your troops when the late comers start eyeing your prized real estate… just when your patience starts wearing thin around hour 8 in the broiling heat and relentless sun.

DO: Encourage your kids to take a nap.

DO: Explore other areas of the infield.  You’ll be amazed at what you find!

Original artwork created right in the Infield!

DO: Consider not betting on the Derby itself.  Keep in mind, if you win, you’ll have to get on an hour long line to collect your winnings.  Makes you wonder how many people forgo their $6, $8 or even $20 winnings.

DO: Look on the ground for money.  Odds are good you’ll pick up more money than you’ll win on the ponies.

DO: Have an AWESOME TIME and Cross the Kentucky Derby off your Bucket List with a THICK BLACK MARKER!

The Kentucky Derby is really an experience of a lifetime – so enjoy it and move on to your next big item!

I was actually at Churchill Downs on August 31st, 1997 for a tour of the grounds.  The only reason I remember the date, is because it happened to be the same day, Princess Diana died.

Now, just shy of 15 years later, I have my Derby tickets in hand and today was the day I set aside to find my Derby hat!

You MUST wear a hat that makes a statement at the Derby – otherwise, in my opinion, you should just stay home.

So, I gathered up the boys, appeased them with a tour of the L&N Train Museum and then headed into downtown Bowling Green.  I had no idea where to find said hat, but I started at a fine dress shop and was immediately directed to “The Derby Hat Shop” around the corner.

When we walked in, I thought we were at a Florist Shop.  The hats were ‘brimming’ with flowers and feathers and all manner of decorations. 

Trying on Derby hats is reminiscent of wedding gown shopping.  They are delicate works of art that transform you.

As the hat is placed aloft your head: your shoulders lift, your chest rises and every molecule of your body screams -

HOLY COW!  CHECK OUT THIS HAT!!!

Then, reality set in… the hats I was trying on were each over $200 – Yikes!!!  Even in my wildest dreams, I could not justify a $200 hat that I would then have to crush into a small cubby in my camper, after the derby was done – or worse yet – find smashed in Tonia’s toybox, which is more likely the case.

So, I moved on to fascinators… which are truly fascinating and something I would love to wear all the time!  They are the perfect cover up for a bad hair day.. Just put your hair in a pony tail – throw on this huge feather thing that resembles some sort of aviary accident, on the side of your head and BAM – YOU’RE FAB – U – LOUS!!!

Ok, so I had brought the prices down from the $200 range to the $100 range… still a no go!

So, I huddled my crew back into the truck and headed for cheaper pastures.

After stopping at a consignment shop, I was directed to a store called Roses – which oddly enough, even the GPS knew about. I wish the GPS had a “Derby Hats” Point of Interest ’cause it would have saved me a lot of time and gas.

I found my hat straight away.  A very simple, fuschia broad brim floppy straw hat for $6!

My Hat Before the Hot Glue

I also made it my business to get the divine Ms. M (or Margie McCloskey) a hat as well.

Here's Margie's Hat before the makeover

I knew they needed some sprucing up to make a splash so I went to the Floral aisle and bought a $5 bunch of silk orchards.

At home, I set about burning my finger tips and gluing the petals to my hat… Here’s the finished product:

My Hat After I burned off my finger prints

As pretty as that was, this was not the “statement hat” of my derby dreams, so off I went to a wholesale floral supply company and returned with more doodads, baubles and butterflies to glue on!

Now we’re ready for Derby Day!

My Derby Hat

Here's Margie's Hat... She wouldn't wear the bird!

If you’re headed to the Derby, don’t head to Churchill Downs without checking out our Kentucky Derby Preparation List.

In the 1900s the cave entrance was used as a Grist Mill

There’s so much to do in the Bowling Green Area of Kentucky.  A quick thirty minute drive from the Diamond Caverns Thousand Trails, you can find everything from Caves to Corvettes!

Lost River Cave - Kentucky's Only Boat Cave Tour

We decided to start with the caves… tune in next week when we check out the Vettes!

Lost River Cave is the only boat cave tour in Kentucky!  Touring a cave by boat is a great idea if you have little ones.  It allows you to appreciate the cave without wrestling a wriggling wiggling child, while navigating wet, slippery surfaces and squeezing through tight crevices! (Trust me – Chris loves caves so we’ve done this a lot).  Sitting in the boat, listening to our knowledgeable and entertaining tour guide, Alex, was a very enjoyable experience.

We learned that the cave has had more personalities than Madonna… Evidence suggests that it has been used by:

• Paleo Indians
• Millers
• Confederate Troops
• Union Troops
• and Swing Dancers (my personal favorite)

In the late 50s, The Cavern Night Club was one of the hottest spots below the earth!

The Cavern Night Club

But there’s more to do than boating and dancing at Lost River Cave.

There’s a beautiful hiking trail that gives you an upclose view of the Blue Holes on the property.

Blue Holes

There’s a butterfly garden and gem mining on site as well.

If you’re in the area, take a field trip to Lost River Cave (you can even download lesson plans before you go!!!)

It’s there in every campground… the elephant that shows up every time we meet someone and tell them we’re full time on the road.

The stammering, the silence, the polite pause… and then they finally get up the courage to ask the question that has preoccupied them during all the polite chit chat of the last 5 minutes…

“So, how do you guys support your full time rv lifestyle?”

There are probably as many answers to the income question as their are families on the road.  Not helpful, I’m sure, for dreamers looking for quicky solutions to taking their lives mobile.

You don’t have to wait to get on the road, to start getting your income stream in place.

Tonight, on Road Rebelles Radio, Margie and I will be talking with Alan Sills who will be unveiling a concept that you can use right now to speed up your full time rv plans.  Already on the road? Creating a Virtual Business now can help you keep moving!   Tune in tonight and learn how to create a business that will support the lifestyle of your dreams.

When: 10pm est

Where: Your computer or your phone – you decide

What:  How to make money on the road with a Virtual Business

How: Click here to set your reminder and listen in http://www.blogtalkradio.com/fulltimefamilies/2012/04/23/the-real-housewives-of-ftf

Click here to register.

We arrived in North Little Rock at 5pm to plug into a Passport America Campground, right across the Arkansas River from Little Rock proper.  The campground was pretty much a parking lot, but was a very good proximity (actually walking distance) to the area we wanted to tour.

The problem… well – they didn’t want to extend the PA rate without a prior reservation… then they were willing to give us spots in the back with electric only for $19 a night.  But the electric was 50 amp and since we have 30 amp rigs, we’d need to purchase their $25 adapter in order to actually take advantage of the ultilities utility at the site.

Mr. Arnall and the kidlets

So, we pulled up the Passport America App on the IPhone and found Cherokee Lakes RV Park.  It was a bit of drive (probably about 25 minutes) but it was well worth it!

The campground was brand new – in the woods – on a lake – with amazing owners (Arnell and Pam Harris).  My kids would have stayed there for months if they could!  We all loved it!

The following day, we set off for Little Rock and started with the Bill Clinton Presidential Museum.  It was an interesting place, but as Margie put it… “It’s a bit ironic that the replica of the Oval Office is roped off”.  Yes, that was definitely odd.  I searched every corner but I never did find that infamous beret or that box of cigars… ;0
But I strongly urge you to bring large pieces of cardboard with you when you go.  You can leave them in the truck / car – we’ll explain more later in this post.

After that, we went to Stickey’s BBQ, which I suggest you skip, since the service was snotty and the chicken was dry.

Aimlessly walking around, we stumbled upon one of the best playgrounds I have seen in the country!!!  Rocks to climb, tunnels to explore, slides, and a water fountain to run through.

It was a great place to hang out for a couple of hours!

After a slushy break, we boarded the trolley and got the cheapest tour in the city!  $3 for the entire family, round trip, with an excellent and knowledgeable trolley driver.

As we headed back to the trucks, we had one more adventure awaiting us.

Now for the cardboard: Right outside the Clinton Museum are these huge, steep hills.  We rolled down them, ran down them, and finally, when our neighbor who was wise enough to bring cardboard boxes left, we road down them at 20 mph!

It was a lot of exhausting fun and I highly recommend it!

All in all, I loved Little Rock and look forward to exploring this area more in a future visit!

Ducks at the Peabody

I had a different impression in my mind of what Memphis, TN would be like.

After all, if the “King of Rock of Roll” made his home there, it must be pretty cool.

Outside the Gates of Graceland

Well, if it was, I completely missed it.

We headed to Graceland – and decided we didn’t want to spend $32 a head to tour Elvis’ 1970s lil’ shack.  But we did want to take a pic at the gates.  Special Note:  Go with a Sharpie so you can inscribe your name or a note to Elvis on the brick wall outside his home.. We didn’t know about that one..

With hopes for something better, we headed to Beale Street in Downtown Memphis.  It should be called “Beale Block” because it is only one block, filled mostly with over priced BBQ joints and Blues Music.

Then we high tailed it to the Peabody Lobby to hang with the ducks.

It might have been better if we saw them march in at 11am or if we served as the Assistant Duck Master when they left at 5pm, but since it was 2pm  – we just wanted to see them and then head up to the roof to see the Duck Palace – unfortunately it was being cleaned – so we saw them in the fountain and then headed back to the car.

Before we left, we hit A. Schwabs on Beale.  A 135 year old store filled with all sorts of oddities and unusualness.  That was pretty much the highlight of Memphis.

Since it was happy hour at Sonic – we headed there for some half price slushies and vowed to skip Memphis for the rest of our lives.