But I’m back with some random musings…and a better plan for next week. 

• Saved right next to the Random Musings Friday button in my picture library is a really sexy picture of Ryan Reynolds.  Every Friday, when it’s time to write this post, I see that picture and it makes me smile.  It’s a very nice way to start a Friday morning.
• J and I watched several episodes of Gold Rush on Discovery this past weekend.  The guys on that show refer to the area where they dig for gold as a “glory hole”.  They said it about 27 times per episode.  And every single time, my mind goes to the dirtiest meaning of that term and I’m left picturing a truck stop men’s room somewhere.  I wonder if the guys from the show ever think the same thing.
• In high school, I was a math geek.  Not only was I good at it, but I really loved it.  Solving math problems gave me a thrill.  Oh how times have changed…because yesterday I had to figure something out that required me to solve a linear equation.  I was completely blank.  I stared at that equation for a good ten minutes without a single clue how to solve it.  Luckily…there’s an app for that. 
• Speaking of high school, while I was a huge fan of math, I was not quite so fond of religion.  However, it seems the nuns left quite an impression.  Certainly more than the math teachers did.  Because I’m reading Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal (which I will write more about when I finish it) and it seems I have retained far more New Testament than I did math.  Go figure.

And lastly…and quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve heard all week…

• Pat Sajak and Vanna White used to get drunk during breaks in taping Wheel of Fortune.  That’s awesome.  I’m going to spend some time this weekend trying to find some old episodes to see if you can tell if they are sober or not.  Oooh…and maybe I’ll come up with some episodes where the contestants used to use their winnings to make purchases from the Wheel of Fortune showcase.  Those are my favorites.  There was always a ceramic dog for, like, $500 and someone would always buy it.  Thinking back, I guess it’s not really a surprise that they needed booze to get through that mess!

Ok…now it’s your turn…grab the button above, link up below and tell me your random musings of the week…

6.  If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

It certainly wouldn’t be accounting!  I’d have to say it would be helping people.  I really like to help people.  If I didn’t have to worry about pesky things like paying bills, I would love to start a charity where we’d provide people with whatever kind of help they needed.  A loan…job training…interview skills…tutoring…whatever was necessary.  The only requirement to receive help would be that once you were able,  you’d have to give back and help someone else.  That is the kind of work that would make me rich.

7.  Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

Well, I’m an accountant and I work for a wealthy family…I’m basically their financial babysitter.  So no…I’m not doing what I believe in.  But I have bills to pay and I get paid well for what I do, so I keep doing it.  Someday, hopefully, I will be in a position to do something different…something that is more meaningful to me.

8.  If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

I’m 36 and I’m not married and I have no kids.  I’ve spent so many years waiting for things…work to settle down, my career to be established, my relationship to get better, to buy a house, to be settled.  I’ve always felt that there would be more time and that I’d get to having a family eventually.  And now I’m 36…and I’m not married…and I have no kids.  And I regret that.  I regret that I waited so long.  If the average life span was 40 years, I never would have waited.  I would have had different priorities.  I would have made having a family more important than anything else.

9.  To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

I’ve controlled it some, but not nearly as much as I should have.  In my career, I made all the decisions that have led me to where I am.  But in my personal life, I sat back and let J control the course of things.  I wish I could go back and change that a bit.  I wish I could go back and take back a little more control.  There are some things I wish we’d done differently.  But it’s been a good lesson for the future.  Only I can control my own happiness.  It’s a lesson I will never forget again.

10.  Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

Doing the right things.  Sometimes you have to break the rules to make sure you are doing the morally responsible thing.

*****

Come back next week for 5 more questions and answers.

I’m so excited for this weekend.  We are supposed to get a snowstorm…which is the perfect excuse to stay in my pajamas all day tomorrow and watch movies and drink hot chocolate.  And we are really excited for the Giants/49ers game on Sunday. 

And now…for this week’s random musings…

• Last night, I opened a fortune cookie and the fortune said “You will get a surprise this weekend”.  I don’t tend to put much stock in the fortunes in cookies…but there is some news that I’m waiting for and I’m hoping this is an eerie prophecy that I’ll get that news this weekend.  (No, Dad…I’m not pregnant.)  I’m just hoping that the surprise is a good one!  I’ll let you guys know on Monday.
• On Wednesday, I went to get a pedicure.  I haven’t gotten one since the summer and my feet were…well, let’s just say that they weren’t as soft and lovely as they were when I was getting regular pedicures.  I felt really guilty for making the pedicurist work on them.  I mean, I’m sure they weren’t the worst she’s ever seen by a longshot…but still…I felt bad.  So I gave her a huge tip.  I have made a vow to get at least monthly pedicures going forward.  My toes look so cute now.
• When I left work last night, I walked outside and traffic was at a complete standstill.  Up ahead a few blocks there were tons of flashing lights and barricades.  At first I thought someone had gotten hurt…maybe hit with a car or something.  But then I remembered…the president was in town and having dinner at Spike Lee’s house.  He was just arriving so the street was barricaded until he was safely inside.  I had to stand in the cold for twenty minutes while we waited.  This crap happens all the time.  The Obamas are big fans of NYC…especially at rush hour.  I find it really annoying that they don’t consider how it’s going to screw up traffic and delay all of the hard-working people of NY from getting home after a long day of work.  It almost makes me want to vote Republican!
• I read an article this week that there is a new school in Utah and the student voted to have a cougar for a mascot.  However, the board of directors turned them down and made them choose something else…bcause they felt the cougar would be offensive to middle-aged women.  I don’t know about anyone else…but the cougar mascot would never be offensive to me.  But I do find the board of directors’ decision extremely offensive…and stupid.  The article didn’t specify, but I’m betting they are all men.

And lastly…we have my favorite story of the week…

• Joe Flacco, quarterback for the Baltimore Ravens, was riding a skateboard in his driveway this week and his neighbor totally busted him.  The neighbor called the GM’s office and left a message ratting him out and asking that someone remind him that the Ravens are trying to win a Superbowl!  I think it’s hilarious…but I have to agree with the neighbor.  Joe, what the hell are you thinking?  You have a game to win this week!  Tom Brady needs that stupid, smug look wiped off his face and you can’t do that if you break your arm skateboarding.  Come on now…cut that crap out.

While I was writing this, I stapled something…and ended up stapling my finger in the process.  I’m not sure how I manage these things.  So I’m off to go tend to my injury.  Link up with me below and tell me your random musings of the week…and have a fantastic weekend.

He was so happy to be home that he was even doing a little dance last night…wiggling his butt around while my brother provided the accompanying singing.  They make a pretty good comedy team, those two. 

Here are a couple of photos of his first night…

Sitting in the den, claiming victory...

His first nap in his own bed...

Edward was especially happy that his daddy was home...

 Dad’s been catching up on the blog this week and reading everyone’s comments.  He wanted me to thank everyone…your good wishes and prayers and support meant a lot to him.  He’s actually working on a guest post so he can thank everyone himself.

And I’d like to thank you all again, as well.  The support I received from everyone was overwhelming.  Thank you so much!

Make sure you stop by and I’ll be back here tomorrow.

When 2012 started I had a good feeling.  I predicted that it was going to be a better year.

And so far…I haven’t been wrong.  So far, 2012 has been epic.

Here’s what is making 2012 so much better than 2011…

• Dad started walking again!
• The Bronx DA has called my mom and told her that he is going to reopen my dad’s case.
• I was given a clean bill of health at the doctor.
• My sister-in-law sued her former employer for wrongful termination after she got hurt at work…and she won!!!
• Captain Miller is home from war instead of preparing to leave for war.
• Kallay’s husband got into a car accident, but it was a blessing in disguise…because he didn’t get hurt and it ended up leading to a new, better job.

And the best news so far…

• It looks like Dad is going home tomorrow!!!  Today is two months since his accident and he’s doing really, really well. 

It’s amazing that so much goodness can be crammed into 17 days.  I have very high hopes for 2012.  I really feel like good things are going to keep happening.

Tell me…do you agree that 2012 is going to be a great year?  What’s the best thing that’s happened to you so far this year?

Here are the first 5…

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

It depends on the day.  Sometimes I feel like I’m 100 years old.  Today, for example…I slept funny on my arm and it hurts every time I move it.  And I have a terrible pain in my back.  Days like these I feel like I’m ancient. 

But then there are other days where I feel like a kid still and think “I cannot possibly be an adult…I cannot possibly be older than 15…how did this happen?”  On these days I often spend time doing something very childish…like making inappropriate “that’s what she said” jokes and giggling like an idiot. 

Either way…I very rarely feel like I’m 36…which is how old I actually am.

2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?

Never trying, for sure.  I mean…yes, failing sucks.  No one wants to fail.  But at least if you try, you have the potential to eventually succeed.  If you give up before you even get started you’ll never know if success was possible or what you are capable of.  You should always try…and if you fail, you should try again. 

3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

I think it’s because we don’t fully grasp how short life is.  Time goes really fast and sometimes you don’t realize it.  In the moment, you find yourself doing things that are expected of you or things you HAVE to do…like going to work.  I know that I always think things like “Oh…I’m so busy now…I’ll just get tickets for that concert next time they come to town” or “This is really not a good day…I’ll just see my friend another day”.  I always think that there will be plenty of time.  I’m only now starting to realize that there isn’t plenty of time.  We are all so busy all the time…we forget that we have to stop and slow down sometimes. 

4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

If it was all said and done tomorrow…yes, I will have said more than I will have done.  Like I said above…I tend to put things off until tomorrow.  I have big plans, but I let so many things get in the way of those plans.  I love my 101 list for that reason…it’s forcing me to accomplish things I’ve been putting off for years.  It’s forcing me to slow down and do things that make me happy.  It’s been a great lesson.  I really hope that it’s not all said and done tomorrow…because I have faith that I can turn things around.  I have faith that someday, when it is all over, I will be able to smile and say that I did everything.

5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

I would love to make people more accepting of one another.  There is so much hate and so much intolerance.  I wish people could just embrace those things that make us all different.  Those are the things that make the world an interesting place.  In my perfect world…people would celebrate their differences…they would learn from each other…they would find ways to get along.  I think it would be a much happier world.

*****

Is anyone else taking on the 50 questions?  Do you find that some of them are really hard to answer???

I regret that decision now that I’m in the office. 

But it’s too late now…so I’m going to make the best of it!  And maybe…just maybe…I’ll sneak out early!

Here are this week’s random musings…

• At the Giants game on Sunday, the girl behind us was pretty young and she was really enthusiastic about being there.  Any good thing that happened was met with a “WOOOHOOO!”.  At first it was kind of nice to see someone so excited.  However…she started woohoo-ing at everything…fumbles…missed passes…TV timeouts!  Then it became annoying.  But the best was when she started chanting “Kobe Bryant…free throw giant”.  I think she might have been confused about where she was.  Either way…that gave J and I a good chuckle.
• No matter what event I’m attending…the tallest person in the place will always sit in front of me.  It’s a problem because I’m pretty short and then I have to struggle to see.  When we got to the Giants game, there was no one sitting in front of us.  Eventually, people showed up and sat down…and the woman in front of me was even shorter than I was and I was thrilled…until she traded places with her husband…who was at least 7 feet tall.  It’s just my luck.  They were really nice though and we exchanged many high fives throughout the game.  I had to reach up really far to slap his hand though!
• J and I were watching the news the other day and somehow got on the subject of mammograms…which he referred to as a “boobie sandwich”.  I laughed for about 20 minutes.  He’s a twisted guy…but he is pretty funny.
• And lastly…I give you the quote of the week.  I didn’t think it could get better than boobie sandwich…but it did.  During an email conversation about sex and dirty talking, a friend used the following as an example…”tickle me down there with your sex bush”.  Clearly, it was an example of what not to say.  And it made me choke on the salad I was eating at the time.  Well played, friend.

Now it’s your turn.  Tell me your random musings!  Put them in a post and link-up below and don’t forget to grab the button.  Have a wonderful weekend!!!

1) Send Flowers to Someone For No Reason…This was so much harder than I thought it would be.  I had a really hard time with the “for no reason” part of this.  There is always a reason…someone is having a bad day, it’s a holiday, it’s a birthday, someone did something nice for me…something.  I finally ended up sending flowers to my cousin Marybeth.  Technically, she had just gotten a new job, but that’s not why I sent the flowers.  Marybeth is just a really wonderful person and she’s always doing nice things for everyone…and if anyone deserves to get flowers for no reason, it’s her.  After a few snafus with FTD, her flowers were delivered yesterday and she was so happy. 

4) Donate Blood…I hate needles and this is one of the items on my list that I was dreading.  But I made an appointment for Tuesday and I kept it…even though I did briefly consider cancelling.  As it turns out…I’m anemic so I wasn’t able to make a donation after all.  It was disappointing, but it turns out that later the same day my doctor put me on a new vitamin, which should take care of the anemia and I will probably be able to donate in the future.  However, for now, I made a financial donation instead since that was all I could do.

51) Get a Library Card…I have been meaning to do this for years and I finally did it.  I got my card on Tuesday afternoon and I have already reserved a few books.  Now that I’ve got the card I don’t know why I waited so long!

I’ve also made progress on a few more items…

48) Perform Several Random Acts of Kindness…I started planning this day out and I made a list of what I want to do that day.  I also selected the day in February that I plan to do them.

52) Answer the 50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind…I’ve been working on these for a while and I’m making progress.  I’m about 3/4 of the way through the list.  I think I’m going to finish them this week and post my answers next week.

68) Watch Every Movie in My Netflix Queue…There were quite a lot of movies on this list when I started…over 400.  Now there are under 200.  This week I went through the list and I did a major cleaning.  I realized that we spend way too much time watching crappy movies.  So I went through and deleted everything with less than three stars.  I added several new movies and I watched the top 5 off the list.  I also got three new ones in the mail last night…so by the end of the week, I will have crossed 8 off the list.  I’m getting there!

72) Read 100 Books…I finished two more and just started a 3rd!  I’m up to 58 finished now.

74) Do a Boudoir Photo Shoot…This was supposed to happen in December, but work got in the way.  I rescheduled it for mid-February and I can’t wait.

I’m so happy to be making such great progress.  I have big plans to cross a few more off the list by the end of the month.

Do you have a list?  How many have you crossed off?

About a week before he was released from the hospital, the social worker called my mom and asked if she had a preference for where Dad would go next.  We had no experience with rehab facilities, so we started asking around.  The answer we got over and over was Helen Hayes Hospital…which, as luck would have it, is about ten minutes away from my parents’ house.  So Mom told the social worker she wanted Dad to go to Helen Hayes and the social worker said she’d work on it.

A week later I got a panicked phone call from my dad…”They are kicking me out of here tomorrow and they want me to go to Central Bronx Geriatric Care…call your mother and help her get this sorted out…I can’t go there!!!”  I knew he couldn’t go there…the place wasn’t right for him.  It was a nursing home…not a rehab facility.  He would not have gotten the right care there and it would have taken him months to get back on his feet.  In fact, someone from the nursing home had gone to meet with Dad and told him that her facility wasn’t right for him.  This was a disaster.

What happened next is a very long story, but basically, my mom called the social worker and the social worker lied to her.  She told Mom that Helen Hayes refused to accept my dad into their program…but it turned out that the social worker hadn’t even sent his records to them.  Then she said that my parents’ insurance wouldn’t pay for Helen Hayes…but it turned out that the insurance was willing to pay for whatever rehab was best for Dad.  My mom only knew all of this because she was pushy and demanding and made 27 phone calls and actually spoke to the director of Helen Hayes…instead of just taking the social worker’s word for it.

His social worker was supposed to be his advocate…the person who was supposed to make decisions that were in his best interest.  Instead, she was making the decisions that were the easiest for her.  It’s only because my mother insisted and took matters into her own hands that Dad ended up in the best place for him.  When my mom went to the hospital later that day, the social worker came in and told my parents she was removing herself from the case because “they clearly didn’t need her”…which was absolutely correct.

The thing is…I keep hearing things like this over and over again.

Devin recently needed to have two separate procedures done and the doctor wanted to do them separately.  He actually wanted to subject a child to general anesthesia two different times…because the two procedures are usually done in different rooms.  It was only because his mother is a nurse…and was really pushy…that the procedures were done at the same time.

But what about my friend’s husband…who’s concerns were dismissed in the ER the other night because the doctor had never heard of his disease?  Or my pregnant friend who called the doctor very concerned about something only to be told he’d check her again in three weeks?  Or my other friend who was sent home from the hospital by a horrible nurse when it was clear there was something wrong and it caused her a life threatening illness?  What about the people who are too sick or too scared to realize the doctor might not be doing the right thing?  What about the people who have shitty insurance and no money…and therefore, have very little choice in what happens to them?

If I learned anything from my dad’s accident and subsequent hospital stay it’s that you have to fight for yourself…because no one cares as much for your well-being as you do.  People are lazy or they are busy or they just don’t care.  In the end, you have to follow your gut and if something doesn’t seem right to you, you have to speak up.  There were times, especially while we waited four days for my dad to go into surgery, that I mouthed off to doctors and nurses…where I questioned people’s judgements…where I stormed into the room and demanded answers.  And for every person I annoyed…my mom annoyed two.  I have no doubt that the hospital was very happy to see my dad…and the rest of us…leave.  But I don’t care…because in the end Dad got what was best for him and now he might get to come home in a week.

Fight for yourself.  Be your own advocate.  Your life might depend on it.