Renee Buchanan Art

Finished? In Progress? Hmmmm....

2012-02-10T12:08:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I work on a painting and there is this magical "IT'S FINISHED" feeling, at which point I sign it and waste no more fretting on it. Actually, on the rare occasion that a painting flows freely, it is such a euphoric feeling. Other times, I'll work on a painting for months, never quite "feeling it." If a painting REALLY stinks, I just paint over it. But those in-between paintings give me the most grief. I don't want to paint over them, yet something isn't jiving. Above is just THAT type... I don't know what to do with it.

There are elements of this painting that I DO like... actually, on their own, I like all of the elements. Somehow, there is a depth that is missing that prevents me from having that relieved IT'S DONE moment. So I'm going to keep plugging away at it, trying to resist the temptation to paint over it. And yes, I signed it prematurely.

Above is another painting I'm working on that falls more into the "effortless" category. Somehow, it just all came together (so far) in a way that pleases me. I didn't plan this one out (as is my norm.) I just squirted some paint on the canvas and smeared it around with a palette knife until I "saw" the city materialize. I took the paint's guidance and formed more buildings around it. Now I'm not quite sure where I'm going to go with it, but I have a few ideas knocking around in my vacuous noggin. I'm going to try to be better about posting as my works progress, for my own sake. I think it's beneficial to look back and remember where my work stemmed from. After so many weeks and layers, a painting may totally morph from its infant form and initial concept (not that I hang on too tightly to original concepts, but still.)

Okay! Time to get moving! Hope you all have a great weekend!

Renee :)

First Art of 2012

2012-02-05T09:43:00.000-05:00

I sometimes wonder if all artists get "painter's block" or if it is just some of us unfortunate few? Anyway, I am enjoying an extended period of inspiration and motivation, although I seem stuck on the same subject matter (yes, MORE flowers.) I just finished my latest work in my Vase Series, although numbers were never my strong point and I forget where I am in the series now. So I'm calling this one "Red Sunflowers" and pretending like I didn't want to assign a number.

I believe my vase series is about to end, however. I have been "seeing" different images in my mind that I want to translate onto canvas.

When I first began painting, I played around with some abstract faces. Above are a couple painted several years ago that I deemed utter failures, but now that I look back on them, I can see some sort of promise there. I ended up painting over them for reasons I haven't really explored, but now I regret that I don't have them. Thanks to encouragement and goading from my WONDERFUL friends, I've decided to broaden my horizons and perhaps create a new series of faces. Maybe this time I will be better about keeping count so I can actually have an official series of 10 (or 5 or 12) or maybe I'll just continue being a complete space cadet and lose count at 3.

On the home front today, it is Superbowl Sunday. I'm not even sure which teams are attached to Tom Brady and Eli Manning but I'm making a ginormous pot of chili and allotting myself a couple of hours on the couch to watch boys in tight pants beat the crap out of each other. And, since my sprout and I are still in training for the Nashville Country Music Half Marathon in April, I'll have to fit in a little run today (which I should have already completed but I've enjoyed sitting around in my jammies, having coffee and blogging.)

I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Renee :)

Works in Progress....

2011-12-20T21:26:00.000-05:00

Winter has never been my favorite season. I don't mind the cold as much as I mind losing daylight so EARLY. I came home tonight, paced around the house nervously, ate everything that couldn't out run me, and then decided I needed to do something "productive" with my time. Which tonight, will be blogging.

I've been playing with works on small little canvases. They all are at risk of being painted over at any second, but I'm trying to let ideas evolve and just have some fun without "wasting" too much time or paint. Above is my caged girl in progress... not sure where this one is going but I'm imagining some little imps, swinging in the branches.

Above is an old raven I did after downloading some works of Poe. I know there's nothing particularly artsy or abstract about it, but sometimes you just feel like you should collage a crow. So there.

And along the same lines, below is a tiny little work I call "Saturday Morning," which looks more like a "Saturday Morning Bloodbath" but that's merely coincidental. And the keys? Actually, I had ordered a necklace on Etsy and had just put it on there to remind myself to put it up and I thought it looked neat. I'm pretty certain this painting isn't long for this world, but I do like the general idea more than the unfortunate outcome. I sure would like some scrambled eggs now, though.

And last but not least is a painting that I really have grown to love, and for me to LOVE (and admit that I love) one of my paintings is pretty rare. I added more flowers, altered the colors of existing flowers, and put a few finishing touches on to ensure this one is FINISHED. Sometimes you just want to look at something that's pleasing and not feel like you have to "think" about it.

Okay! I'm off to have "reading time" with the family (which drove my 14 year old into bed at 9:15 to avoid it all together.) I started the Hunger Games series and, despite the teen love/angst, am just devouring the second book.

Renee :)

Random Ramblings...The TN Ragnar Relay AND New Art

2011-11-27T14:56:00.000-05:00

Since my life has evolved into a cornucopia of crazed activity, I guess my blog must follow. Seeing that I started this blog to track my art evolution, I will post the art stuff first:

I am trying to evict that harsh and nasty art critic that lives somewhere in the wrinkles of my brain. I believe that art is for the ARTIST, and if there is an audience for the feelings that the artist puts on the canvas, then it is a bonus. When I started selling my art, I started to shift into a place where I was painting with an imaginary buyer in mind. I started to lose my creativity, vision, and passion. I started comparing myself to others, and not being very kind to myself. SOOO I declare that, from here on out, I am painting for ME. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want others to connect to my art, but it is more important that I connect to it or else there is no point. After all, anyone can go buy a pretty neat replica of a painting at Pier1, right? That being said, above is my next work in progress painted by my inner 5 year old. It is still is missing that elusive "something" that gives me the warm fuzzies, but I'm going to spend this rainy Sunday playing around with it.

On the running front, I accomplished another HUGE milestone for me. My son, a bunch of friends, and I ran the second annual Ragnar TN Relay from Chattanooga to Nashville. It was even more special for me because I thought a stress fracture that I suffered back in July had knocked me out of it, but somehow my old bone healed up and I was able to compete (and boy do I throw that word around loosely.)

In a nutshell, you have 12 people in 2 vans running nearly 200 miles. It was 30+ hours from start to finish with no sleep, no showering, no brushing of the teeth or combing of the hair, and 30 degree temperatures. And we PAID MONEY to do it. And it was WONDERFUL. Go figure. But, for non-athletic me, running has opened up a world of intense passion that I've never found elsewhere.... every run is a spiritual journey that simultaneously connects nature with soul. Go ahead and vomit. I understand.

Okay! I'm off to plan dinner and maybe drag out some of my Christmas decor and get this day going again!

Renee :)

Goblins in My Kitchen.... And a Steel Cut Oat Risotto Recipe

2011-10-30T19:42:00.000-04:00

Happy Halloween, everyone! Halloween is one of my FAVORITE days, but this year I'm kind of bummed because #1) I have to work late tomorrow and will miss the throngs of children that haunt my neighborhood one day a year and #2) I don't have anything even remotely resembling an excuse to dress up. So I guess my witch hat will just gather some dust until next year.

Tonight I think I was visited by goblins in during my dinner prep. On the menu: sirloin steak and organic brown rice risotto with peas. After weeping my way through onion chopping, I measured my rice into the pan. As you do with risotto, I stirred the dry rice with the onions for a couple of minutes before adding the dash of white wine. But I kept noticing these little black specs that can only be described as miniature mouse droppings. So I kind of freaked out and even Googled "black specs in rice." Deciding that something was NOT right, I pulled out the bag of rice and poured it into a large glass bowl. At this point I discovered the rice was INFESTED with these tiny black bugs. I have to admit that I'd put so much time in prep to this point that I actually had the split second urge to count them as an extra source of protein and continue, but my better judgement took hold and I dumped the whole pan into the garbage.

If I'm nothing else, I think I'm resourceful so I scoured my cabinets (almost completely bare of because of my quest to eat mostly unprocessed foods) and found a container of steel cut oats. So here is my recipe for steel-but oat risotto (which I honestly think turned out better than a brown rice version would have!)

2 cups uncooked steel cut oats
32 oz. (approx.) chicken stock, warmed in a separate pan
dash of white wine (maybe 1/4 cup? I don't measure)
1-2 onions
fresh or frozen peas (uncooked)
one lemon
pat of butter
good quality Parmesan cheese
salt (I didn't need it) and pepper

Melt butter in pan over med-low heat. Add onions and sweat them (you don't want them brown, just soft) for about 5 minutes. Add oats and stir around for another 5 minutes. Add dash of white wine and stir until it's absorbed. Start adding broth (about a ladle at a time until it's absorbed) and stir constantly for about 15-20 minutes. When oats are creamy and al-dente, add peas. Squeeze in half your lemon, grate pepper and grate your cheese (however cheesy you like it.) YUM! I'd say it stands up to arborio rice any day.

I have had a SUPER productive day. I got up this morning and made a huge batch of peppermint and tea tree soap, did my grocery shopping, went for a 2.5 mile run (it was SO beautiful outside,) chopped and froze my weekly supply of veggies (makes cooking easier through the week,) and made tonight's dinner plus a giant pot of bean soup for tomorrow's dinner. The one thing I DIDN'T do (yet) is paint. Above is my latest finished painting... yes, I KNOW it is another vase. I'm going to force myself to branch out and at least try to resist the urge to add another vase to my series, but I "see" in shapes and colors and I just keep gravitating back to the same idea. But it's time to move on. And so I shall.

Okay! I just remembered I forgot my laundry in the washer! I hope you all have a WONDERFUL Halloween and don't get turned into a frog.

Renee :)

The Birds Bit the Dust....

2011-09-19T20:06:00.001-04:00

I meant my PAINTED birds bit the dust. I really love whimsical art (obviously) but the bird painting that I was working on (below) just was feeling like WORK to complete. And I feel like the best paintings always happen easily and freely. So bye, bye birds.

PAINTED OVER!!!

I guess every artist has their own unique style of painting so I'm not going to beat myself up anymore for painting different versions of the same subject over and over. In this case, it is another abstract flower/vase. I didn't have a plan for this piece (as usual) but I happened upon some very inspiring paper. So, after painting over the birds and establishing a foundation color, I used the paper to collage my little scene. Then I went crazy with acrylic paint to finish the work.

On a personal note, since my stress fracture APPEARS to have healed, this past weekend I engaged in a 4 mile run through Cades Cove with a bunch of my friends. I have to admit, I was so focused on running that I didn't even realize how surreal and breathtaking the scenery was until I came home and viewed my pictures. It is hard to believe that I am lucky enough to live in one of the most beautiful places on this planet. It is even harder to believe that I spent so many years in front of a television that I didn't even get up and enjoy it.

We had to take off our shoes and wade the flood waters!

I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Renee :)

SWEET Holiday Weekend...

2011-09-03T11:37:00.000-04:00

Boy, there is NOTHING like a holiday weekend to put me in a fantastic mood. I plucked my "little" sprout out of bed this morning and met some of my good friends out by the lake for a morning run (okay, I'm not cleared to run on the healing fracture YET but the walk was AMAZING.) Following the cardio, we had hard lunge workout led by our Ragnar Relay team leader. I was back home by 9:30 with my exercise already under my belt... what a PERFECT way to start the day.

On the art front, above is my finished vase painting. Yes, FINISHED. I have worked on that vase for what seems like an eternity, trying to get it right! And now it FINALLY feels "right." Yippee!!!

After watering my plants down (we need RAIN!) I worked on my little bird paintings a little. I go through spells where I just get hung up on a subject. Maybe that little yellow bird that hangs around hubby's sunflowers is my subconscious muse. Last week my brother came and took a couple of paintings of mine for his new house (yay!) and as a joke, traded an old license plate for them. So I took that old license plate and have started his Christmas present on it. Joke's on him!

The idea for the above painting came to me as I was going into a state of delirium on the exercise bike at the gym. I plan to get a big cup of ice water, turn on my Enya playlist, go into a painting trance and try to get some work done on this one while I'm feeling inspired.

I hope you all make this a WONDERFUL day for yourself!

Renee :)

Another Great Sunday

2011-08-28T19:52:00.000-04:00

This has been a WONDERFUL week. First of all, I went to the doctor who, after examining a new x-ray, told me that I could promptly remove my cast boot and that I PROBABLY will be able to run The Ragnar relay race with my friends in November! Woo hoo! He also said that my dearly beloved minimalist "barefoot" shoes probably (no, he said definitely) caused my stress fracture. So I went and dumped even MORE money into new running shoes (Mizuno Wave Inspire, anyone?) for when I start running again. I'm excited and scared to run again, so I'm putting it off for a couple more weeks to make sure that bone is COMPLETELY healed. And after the relay I'm promptly going to figure out how I can run in my barefoot shoes without getting injured.

So while I wait to run I'm going to drag myself to the gym and be best friends with the exercise bike. I'm on the verge of giving up caffeine and alcohol in my quest for perfect health, but that is a HUGE commitment that I'm not ready to make... yet. So in the spirit of being a boozer, following my ramblings is a great Sangria recipe that I made for my friends who came over to paint with me on Friday.

On the art front, I've somehow maintained my inspiration and energy and I'm chipping away at more projects. Above is a random fruit/veggie painting that I'm creating for my friend Kelly for Christmas. I would have preferred it to be a surprise but I refuse to give art away unless someone requests it. I would HATE for someone to feel like they have to hang something on their walls for MY sake and not because they love it.

The painting above is evolving into.... ummm... I'm not really sure. There is a big red flower, some blue and green off-shoots, and a web in the corner. Overall, I think it's pretty and pleasing but it is FAR from finished. I have to figure out what the heck is going on with it.

Here is my Sangria recipe. I suggest if you enjoy iced tea on the porch on a balmy summer evening, then you try this:

1 bottle of "cheap" red wine (I used Barefoot Merlot)
1 juicy orange (quartered)
1 juicy lemon (quartered)
1 juicy lime (quartered)
1 small can pineapples in their own juice
2-3 shots triple sec
splash of orange juice
ginger ale (I use sugar free)
frozen raspberries
ice

I used a sun tea container with a spigot: pour in your wine, triple sec, squeeze in your citrus and throw the peels in, add your pineapples and orange juice (to your liking) and chill in the fridge overnight. Before serving, pour in a couple of cups of ginger-ale (or however much you'd like to use) and add a couple of handfuls of ice. Serve over frozen raspberries in a pretty glass. LOVELY.

Renee :)

Painting Mania...

2011-08-19T20:27:00.001-04:00

I was SO happy that I didn't have to work today. As a matter of fact, the only thing on my agenda was a late afternoon doc appointment (still walking around in the cast boot, by the way.) That one clean-freak gene that was passed on to me by Mom had the BEST intentions of herding my dust bunnies and performing a HUGE cleaning. But I had this one painting that I lackadaisically had been working on that all the sudden seemed to urgently need to be finished. I couldn't stop. I sometimes have these spurts of creativity (or mania) that I can't suffocate so I let them go crazy. So I left my broom untended and lonely, let the DVD player collect another half inch of dust, and I went into a painting frenzy. The embarrassing part is that I didn't leave myself enough time to properly shave my legs before the doc took a good close look at that stress fracture. Oh well.

I wish I had taken a "before" pic of this painting because it radically evolved into something that I had not intended today. Originally, I had the red sky and the purple landscape and black and white trees (painted with my best acrylics... no skimping so I would achieve the rich color.) I stepped back to look at the painting and realized I had this gaping hole in the middle... so I added cerulean blue (one of my FAVES) and I knew I was going to have either a boat or a frog to that pond. So a boat it is. I have had Van Morrison's "Into the Mystic" on my mind for a few days and so I channelled that feeling into this work. This piece is 2' x 2' x 1.5" on canvas.

I am really fond of collage elements in my art (or any one's work, for that matter.) I decided to form the boat, the moon, and the tree bases from bits of paper that I had laying around. Some of it is wrapping tissue, some is magazine shreds. The trees looked BORING in black and white so I added layers of paint and tissue until I got the desired look. I think I'm going to go back and darken the "grout" lines of the tree where the paper was laid a little thick. But then again I may just sign it when the varnish dries and call it done.

Okay! I'm going to go out and feed my mosquitoes and watch the sun set. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend :)

Renee

My Crafty Sunday...

2011-08-14T22:21:00.000-04:00

I admit, there are some things I really am NOT good at. Sewing is one of those things. But I've just had this urge to sew up little owl sachet Christmas ornaments so I took a pair of my son's old shorts, cut out a very crude pattern, butchered the pattern with dull scissors, and coarsely hand-stitched my little owl. I added felt eyes and beaded eye balls. Then I stuffed Mr. Owl with a sachet mix I had made a couple of years ago in an air-tight glass jar with lavender essential oil. He may look a little wonky, a bit like a mouse-owl love child, but he smells divine. I think I may be a bit allergic to the essential oil because my lips are twice their original size. I'm rockin' some Angelina Jolie lips right now. Perhaps I should click a new sexy Facebook profile pic and promptly go find the Benadryl.

I love my Sundays, and today I wanted to get up and hit the gym FIRST THING so I would have the rest of the day at my disposal. I love the gym. I really do. It can be the best place on the planet to observe fringe human behavior. For example, today there were approximately 6 people there, including me. One of these people was an average sized guy who had this propensity for REALLY loud grunting and throwing the weights around as he glared menacingly at his own reflection in the giant mirror. I thought he was going to jump his reflection and kick his own *ss. Hmmmm. When I go out to my car, parked right beside me is this jacked-up 4 door dually pick-up with skull stickers all over the windows. Thank you, sir, for the free entertainment.

After leaving the gym and going to the grocery (looking homeless and smelling like a farm animal,) I decided to make a delicious, healthy lunch. Here is my seared, oven-roasted chicken (marinated in olive oil and rosemary from my garden) and sauteed kale (not from my garden... from an industrial sized bag that is large enough to feed a small village.)

Another odd crafty urge I've had is to paint my dream Key West home on a rock. I've previously painted a little rock cottage that now boards the occasional wandering gnome that comes across my garden. The pink Key West house is still in progress... I still have the small details to finish up. I'm no expert rock painter by any stretch of the imagination but it sure is fun to play around with!

Okay! I'm off to watch The Next Food Network Star, crawl into bed too late, and set myself up for regret when my alarm goes off in the morning! Have a great week :)

Renee

Painting, Gardening, and Cooking....

2011-07-31T21:14:00.000-04:00

I love Sundays. I love to sleep in, casually roll out of bed and enjoy a steaming cup of coffee while I watch a cooking show or two with crazy bed-head while I mentally prepare a dinner menu, and then go outside before the sun gets too hot and water my flowers and weed my flower beds. I know I am a simple creature because to me, this is sheer bliss.

So this morning I decided to move some baby trees from my back flower bed that my dearest hubby "took over" (which led to weeds and clover taking over) to my front flower bed. One baby maple is probably not going to make it because I totally pulled off his main root. UGH!

I'm not sure if I ever spoke about this flower/vegetable bed on THIS blog but basically I took a big patch of barren yard at the end of my driveway, threw down a lot of cardboard/newspaper, and put a LOAD of mulch on top to kill the grass (I took above pics last year during the progression.) Then, I started infusing the mulch with soil and planted lots of plants. I just did this last July and already my fledgling plants are growing really well. I get a sprig of persistent grass here and there but it is a LOT easier to weed it than through landscaping mat. And anything worthwhile takes work, right?

I also want to keep up my art while I'm inspired. This evening while my bean soup was simmering away on the stove (I put my recipe below.... DELISH), I pulled out this poor painting that has been painted over at least 7 times. Am I done? Nope, but at least I finally like the DIRECTION it's going. The flowers within the vase need some white and I think the vase needs to be more blue than silver. Perhaps THEN it will FEEL finished. Or then again maybe I'll paint over it ten more times!

So here is my bean soup recipe. It is simple, easy, inexpensive and gives you and the family a lot of left-overs.

1 package dried beans (I get a variety pack of several kinds)
**** if this package comes with a "flavor packet" throw that sucker out! You won't need it!
1 medium onion
5 cloves garlic (maybe I have a fear of vampires or being kissed?)
2 cans chicken stock
2 cans diced tomatoes
3 tsp dried, ground mustard seed
1 ham-hock
4 stalks of celery
2-3 jalapenos (I had them in my garden so I used them)
a few sprigs of thyme or whatever herbs you like/have growing
kale (however much you like... I needed a creative way to serve greens)
salt and pepper
splash of vinegar

Soak your beans in water all day (or at least 6 hours) while you weed your flower beds or watch your favorite TV shows. Drain, rinse, and add enough water to cover an inch above beans in large pot. Boil about 30 minutes on medium. Add chicken stock, onion, garlic, celery, ham-hock, thyme, peppers, tomatoes and simmer another hour (watch liquid level. I use a vented lid. Add more water if level gets too low.) Add kale and simmer another half hour. Serve. YUM!

P.S. I never make anything the same way twice. This is how I made it tonight and picky hubby got "thirds." That's a darn good sign.

Have a great day!

Renee :)

Halloween in July...

2011-07-17T18:03:00.001-04:00

I'm really settling back into my old, crafty lifestyle since I've given myself a stress fracture from over-zealous training for all my autumn running events. When I first received the diagnosis, I was SO BUMMED, but then I just decided to regroup and tackle some little projects I'd started and never finished. Aside from being petrified that I'm going to gain a lot of weight, I'm rather enjoying the sloth that comes along with not being able to be on my feet.

Yesterday, I threw myself into a new painting that was such a terrible, ugly fail that I will not post pics. I have an idea in my mind of what I want to transform the supreme failure into so I will just save myself the public humiliation and paint over that stinker.

Secondly, I didn't realize how many little unfinished clay people I had laying around. Above are three witch sisters in various stages of doneness. Like most of my "recent" people, they have Red Stripe beer bottle bodies over which I've applied Apoxie Sculpt (just got my new shipment in the mail! Woo hoo!) and decoupaged clothes from whatever paper I have laying around. The witch on the left has just had her clothes glued onto her. After she dries, I will paint her body and then maybe add the finishing details to all of them. I'm toying with the idea of getting back on ETSY, but more often than not, selling art takes the joy out of it for me. So these may be making a trip to Florida to live with my Mom's Halloween decor collection. I haven't decided yet.

Another thing that I've noticed since I've been on this "art break" is that it does not serve me well to look at others' work because I inevitably compare myself, which then leads to some form of self-flagellation. To view other's work also puts me on "sensory overload." I start having so many new ideas that I shut down and don't do ANYTHING. Is this just me? So I'm playing it safe and trying to focus and FINISH one project at a time, at least until I get all these little have-done sculptures/paintings finished. THEN I will go back to stalking all you talented artists out there!

It's been a beautiful Sunday but honestly so darn humid that as soon as I step outdoors, my hair looks so much like a Brillo pad that I could clean my grill with it. I decided to take my son to see the last Harry Potter, underestimating the fact that it is opening weekend and that our showtime would be sold out. I should have been tipped off by all the children skipping around the parking lot in wizard attire. So we said "forget it" and ran to have ice cream instead. Yum.

Okay... I'm off to research ways to use all of the jalepenos that my pepper plant is producing without putting my family on Mexican food overload! Have a great one!

Renee :)

Finished Vase 6 Painting...

2011-07-12T22:42:00.000-04:00

Well, I found out today that I DO have a stress fracture in my ankle (but I like to say "broken ankle" to elicit any pity or toe rubs I can manage.) I'm not going to be able to run (or even walk around much) at ALL for a month or so. What am I going to do? I am going to PAINT! And SCULPT! And READ! I've always believed that "everything happens for a reason" but perhaps the truth is that "&!$T happens" and you make the best of it!

This morning, I packed up my painting supplies, my coffee, random Cd's from ye old CD pile, and moved to the front porch to finish my "VASE 6: Vinyl Poppies" painting. In case you're wondering, I was blasting some Paul Simon, Pink Floyd, and Fiona Apple.

Remember the old Vase Painting from the last blog? If not, here it is, out in my garden, in all of its ill-conceived glory. It just wasn't working. The colors in the table and flowers were "wrong." Not that it matters. I started the painting and never really liked it so I was FORCED to just jump in and start changing it. Unfortunately, I don't plan out my art. My motto is "You think about Math. You FEEL art." Of course, this means that I spend a lot of time (and paint) changing things up until it FEELS right. And now it does. I'm pretty darn pleased with it. Tomorrow it gets a signature and hanging wire.

I named it "Vinyl Poppies" because the poppies reminded me of old 33 vinyl records. I almost hesitated in putting the pistils (or stamen... not up on my plant anatomy) in the center because I didn't want to detract from the old vinyl record look, but in the end I decided the elements needed to be there to tie into the table. Most of the mosaic effect is painted, but I love to add textural elements so I used paper to collage the mosaic for the table.

Okay! I'm off to tackle another of my goals for this year: read more classic literature. Currently, I am engrossed in Mark Twain's "Life on the Mississippi." I always found him entertaining as a kid and just as much so as an adult. Any recommendations for my next read?

Renee :)

Back to Art...

2011-07-10T15:44:00.000-04:00

I know it's been a long time since I've blogged... I sincerely hope nobody has been out there holding their breath. If so, exhale deeply, settle in with some iced tea, coffee, or glass of wine, and enjoy the senseless ramblings.

Perhaps it is just my nature to not be able to focus on more than one thing at once. I really got bit by the running bug after running the Nashville half marathon and started planning all my days around running. Somehow I never got faster or lost any of my cellulite dimples but I did find a new passion. I was enamored. Above is me with my Brick Trophy for placing 3rd in my age group at the Secret City 5K.... I am NOT fast but all I had to do was slip the other competitors "ruffies" in their Power Ade and there I am! Claiming third place!

But alas, all good things must either come to an end or be put off for 6-8 weeks. After deciding I wanted to be competitive and get faster, life threw me a little curve ball in the form of either a high ankle sprain or (YIKES!) a STRESS FRACTURE! NOOOOO!!!! I find out tomorrow when I go for my first ever bone scan. Oh, the joy. I'm hoping it is all temporary and that I can gather enough energy to keep my toenails painted as they stick out of my Frankenstein boot.

On the bright side, after a trip to Key West in early June, I not only gained a passion for Ernest Hemingway but regained my passion for art. I have had the next painting in my vase series hanging on my wall, 30% completed for MONTHS. After wallowing in a big old tub of self pity yesterday morning about not being able to run (or walk, or do anything much on my feet) I decided that now was the time to redirect my focus and knock the dust off my imagination.

Above is my Vase 4? 5? 6? (numbers were never my strong point) about 90% finished. I can stare at the painting and never see its flaws until I take a picture. Now I can see clearly that the table needs a different color and tone and to be a richer, deeper hue. I'm fine with the background in person, but in pictures it looks a little too patriotic with the red/white/blue coming on too strong.

Okay! I'm off to plan my meal for this evening (meatloaf, anyone?) and soak in the rest of this lovely July day. I hope you all have a great one :)

Renee

No New Art BUT Completed First Half Marathon!!!

2011-05-09T21:30:00.002-04:00

Well, I DID IT!!! I completely ran my first half marathon (Country Music Half in Nashville.) I would say "woo hoo" but I think I've used up my lifetime supply of those over the last three days so maybe I'll be a little naughty and say "Hell yeah!!"

The trip started on Friday, April 29th, meeting my best girls in Oak Ridge and heading to the Nashville Convention Center to get our goodies and race numbers. I felt unusually calm and just READY to run. I had rested up a lot the week before and had eaten a LOT more carbs than I normally do (even if it WAS whole grain pasta.)

So we got our numbers, headed to the hotel, freshened up, and then hit the town for a pasta dinner and a little wine. Yeah, I know. Probably a bad idea. But that is just the way I roll.

Then, like the party animals we are, we headed back to the hotel and were in bed by 9:30. I went to sleep easily but dreamt that all my toenails fell off during the race. I was more than ready to get up at 4, shower, realize I'd lost my make-up bag and that all my photos would be taken without make-up (YIKES!), and scrambled out to catch the shuttle to the race at 5 a.m.

So we arrive at Centennial Park EARLY (still way dark) and have the opportunity to stand around and FREEZE while munching on a banana and bagel. At this point, I'm sort of afraid to drink ANYTHING because #1) I have a port-o-potty phobia, seriously and #2) the lines for the ominous p-o-p's are a MILE long. So I stand around and make internal wagers on my likelihood of peeing myself sometime either before or during the race.

After what seems like an eternity, we finally start moving towards to starting line. Realizing that peeing myself (or worse) may cloud this otherwise glorious memory, I break down and go into the port-o-potty (which is amazingly not "too" bad), and immediately rush to our corral. I wish I had pics but my camera battery decided that was the opportune moment to die (thank goodness my friends had their i-Phones!)

So our horn finally blares for our corral and I take off at my planned slow shuffling pace... and man I feel GOOD. I feel SO good mile 1 through 6 that I decide I'm going to pick up the pace and see if I can go harder to the finish line, high-fiving and fist pumping the whole way.

And I couldn't. I hit my wall at mile 10 no matter how much sports drink or GU I consumed... no matter how many high-fives or cheerleaders or pumping music...from mile 10 to 12.5 I was just in auto-pilot, hoping one foot would keep moving in front of the other. It was also at about mile 10 that I ran into a WALL of walkers that I had a very hard time navigating through on my less-than-spritely legs. But I wanted to finish strong so I got my little chicken legs MOVING for that last quarter mile and ran through the finish line as fast and as fresh-looking as I could muster! When I look at my finishing video, I look like Granny Clampett on speed.

But the REALLY odd thing was how locked-up I became IMMEDIATELY once I stopped running and started walking. My friends and I hobbled towards each other in some sort of geriatric embrace and celebrated all our hard work. And you know what? It was one of the most wonderful events of my life. I'm still on some sort of endorphin rush. Or I'm high on Advil. Either way, it's magic.

Okay, so I started this journey in January, having never ran more than a quarter of a mile. And now, I've ran 13.1 miles in 2:40. Yeah, I knew going into it that I wasn't going to break any land speed records, but I am SO happy. And you know what? I'm going to spend the summer training for my next one (yup, I'm hooked) and shaving 10 minutes off my overall time by Oct/Nov. I'm already jazzed for the next one! One more "woo hoo" for the road!

Renee :)

P.S. My next art project is going to involve somehow doing some sort of wonky collage with my racing bib. Yeah, I'm a goober.

Lots Has Happened...

2011-04-17T11:31:00.001-04:00

My last blog was the first of January. I've been a busy girl, living up to my promise to myself and trying to evolve into a better person, inside and out.

Update One: I have seriously been slacking on the art front but it was a neccessary break. I couldn't pick up a paintbrush without automatically thinking about the consumer. I wasn't painting for ME anymore. I had lost myself, comparing myself to other artists while trying to be mainstream enough to actually sell work in galleries. So I stopped for a LONG time. But I had promised one of my friends that I'd paint a rain barrel for her home/yoga studio and, to my surprise, I have been having the best time! I've loved it! Here is the barrel so far (85% finished):

Update Two: Many of my friends are very active. I've always been so inspired by them but I never considered myself capable of much in a physical sense. But I LOVE challenges and I knew I NEEDED one, so in a merlot induced moment of confidence during Girl's Night Out in early January, I asked two of my best girlfriends to do a half marathon with me this year. And there's been no looking back. We've trained and trained. I've fed myself extremely well (except for a couple of birthday cake binges) and I've just about lost that 13.3 pounds that I had put on at the end of last year. My half marathon is in a couple of weeks and yesterday I completed my last long run before the event (detailed below:)

I don't get nervous too easily, but Friday night I could barely sleep because I had planned an 11 miler in Cades Cove, a beautiful, lush loop in the Smoky Mountains. All night I tossed and turned, listening to the torrential rains and booms of thunder. Would it clear up? Would I have to run in the rain? Would there be bears? COULD I EVEN DO IT?!?!? So I hopped out of bed at 4:30, toasted a whole-grain waffle and slathered it with peanut butter, put my coffee in a thermos, prayed I wouldn't need to go to the bathroom mid-run, and ran out the door for the hour drive to the mountains. The pic below and is my running buddies and me before the run: the rain stopped just as we stopped our cars (although we did have to take off our shoes and socks and cross a flooded trail section to get started!)

The last question was haunting me more than anything: Could I DO this? I have possibly overtrained (and loved every minute of it) to evolve from a total couch potato back in January to a half-marathoner in April. Last weekend I had a really tough 10 miler with the hot sun beating down right overhead most of the last part of it, and I couldn't help but get nervous that the mountainous trek would get the best of me. I didn't want to have to walk the hills. I didn't want to hit the wall. I didn't want to drag myself half dead to the finish.

I normally like to run alone but having my friend Al running with me made the run so much more enjoyable, although at times I was afraid I was talking his ear off. I even made him "knuckle me" every time we climbed a hill. I must have been on a GU high. It was just reassuring to me to know that I COULD talk. The hills were tough but doable, and all in all I was AMAZED at myself. I couldn't believe that I could run a TOUGH 11 miles and still feel great at the end! Honestly, I felt like a superhero... at least until my ibuprofen wore off! HA!

So, what I've learned is that #1) I'm absolutely ready for the half marathon, but even more profound is #2) I can do anything I set my mind to. I've been absolutely bitten by this running bug just because it pushes me past limits that I never in a million years imagined I could achieve. And the best news? It is possible for just about anyone, in some form or another. If you believe in yourself, anything is possible. And that ain't no joke.

Although I haven't ran the half marathon yet, I already am planning another in the fall because I don't want to EVER go back to a sedentary life. Little tidbits I've learned that I wish I'd known before: 1) Start slow and easy. 2) Don't increase mileage too fast (injuries are NOT worth it.) 3) get the right shoes in the right size! It makes a HUGE difference! 4) The proper nutrition is crucial. Go to Runners World online and do your research!

Okay! Thank goodness today is a rest day from running... I'm going to have some coffee and soak up the sun! I hope you all have a great day too!

Renee :)

Looking Forward...

2011-01-03T20:21:00.001-05:00

WARNING! This blog entry will bore you more with my personal development than art development. I have felt lackluster and uninspired to paint or create anything (besides lots of knitted arm warmers for some odd reason) so I feel that there is something "off" somewhere in my life that needs addressing. I am going to start this year by recapping what happened last year:

I started South Beach Diet in mid January because I had outgrown all my pants (even the fat ones), I was shaped like a sweet jumbo marshmallow, I was (am) a raging sugar addict who had to constantly cram sugar into her mouth to make it through the day, I was depressed and I had NO energy. After a month on South Beach, I felt like a completely new person. I had all kinds of energy to spare, I looked better in (and out) of my clothes, and I was getting more out of life. More accurately, I felt alive again.

After 5 months of eating super healthy and exercising (even RUNNING!), my hubby and my mom started telling me I needed to gain weight. My mom wouldn't let up... every time she looked at me she would shake her head sadly and tell me how bad I looked. (Sidenote: Mom has spent a considerable amount of her life fattening someone up.) My hubby was just concerned that my boobs had shrunk to the size of old lemons. This really bothered me because I felt like a MILLION bucks. I felt 10 years younger. This is a pic of the healthier me mid June 2010 with my baby sister:

So I gave myself permission to gain weight. And I did. And for a while, it was fine (even FUN!) Cake! Wow! I sure did miss it! That is until I quit exercising because I didn't have the energy due to my dietary choices and the extra weight. And then the holidays rolled around full swing and I found myself knee deep in sugar cookies and brandy infused eggnog, telling myself that it was fine.

This morning, I put new batteries in the Wii (174 days since my last weigh-in) and stepped up, expecting to have gained about 6 pounds. Well, it was 13.3 pounds. I nearly fell over from shock. I don't know why I'm shocked. My fat pants are getting snug and comfy again and a double chin is starting to roll over my turtleneck. I have to spend an absurd amount of time in the closet, looking for shirts and sweaters that will cover Muffin (my potbelly.) This pic is lethargic, plump me that REALLY likes to sit around on the couch and eat:

But I am not starting off the hopeless, depressed girl I was last year at this time, prior to South Beach. Why? Well, number one because now I KNOW I can do this, and not only can I do it, I will LOVE doing it. Feeding your body good food FEELS so much better than cramming cookies into it. I know now that moving in a positive direction is every bit as satisfying as reaching your goal. Once again it proves true that life is about the journey, not the destination.

I also know I will be stronger against the familial criticisms that will inevitably come when I lose weight again. I now realize that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks (even those closest to you.) You have to do what is best for YOU. Another side note: my Mom has also always tried to make me into a blond at all costs. Look at me, people. I am NOT a blond. Why did it take years of Sun-In infused, frizzed out orange hair to convince me of this?

I think we all have to look at what we ultimately want out of our one go-round on this earth (unless you believe in reincarnation, of course.) I've decided that I want to live a LONG HEALTHY life. I want to have the energy to get outside and LIVE and not sit on the couch and medicate with (as much) mindless TV. I want to surround myself with positive, inspirational people and I want to evolve into the best version of me that I can: artistically, physically and emotionally. That is another reason I'm not beating myself up over gaining weight. I have to support myself. I'm not going to waste a moment more of my life wading around in self-loathing. I am so thankful just to be alive! No more big whiny baby here! This is just a temporary condition!

What's next for me? Well, today is Day One of my new year and I have some great new goals, including some really BIG fitness goals for me. Today I started South Beach phase 1 again to lose the sugar cravings. I have also vowed no alcohol except on Friday and/or Saturday. I had gotten into the habit of having a glass or two of my beloved pinot noir a night, which really isn't BAD except that I would end up staying up too late and not getting enough sleep. And I was going broke.

Okay! I'm off to knit some arm warmers!

Renee :)

Wintertime Blues

2010-12-27T13:02:00.000-05:00

Ah, old friend. I have expected your arrival and alas, here you are at my doorway. Wintertime Blues. I don't know if I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) or if nature is just telling me that it is much more comfy to lay in bed all day and let my dust bunnies rule household affairs than to put my toesies out on the cold, frosty floor. Above is a pic from my front door, documenting our first White Christmas in 20 years here in East TN.

I've had plenty of time off the "day job" due to Christmas which would have been the PERFECT time to be creative, finish paintings and sculptures, or even just to get out of the house and visit some galleries. But no, I slept until 10:30 this morning. It is currently 12:19 and I'm still in my pajamas, fuzzy headed and ranking a 2 on the 1-10 energy scale. I feel like everything I paint is CRAP... see this old crow above? He is my first foray into Holbein Aqua Duo oil paints. I can barely look at him without wanting to burn my paint brushes. He is definitely meeting his demise later. I'm not sure how I feel about the paints yet. I will update later on that.

For some reason, I always feel guilty if I'm not producing something or cleaning something. It is SO HARD just to sit down and rest, even if my body and mind are screaming just to sit still or sleep. I balance this inability to relax by knitting.

Last night I sat down with knitting needles at the ready with a glass of red wine and one of my favorite movies of all time on the TV (King Kong.) I wanted to pay attention to the movie (it is hard to knit through blubbering tears) so I picked a SUPER simple project of knitted arm warmers. Above is a pic of a pair that I knitted last year. A simple rectangle that is then stitched up the side. It is the PERFECT beginners' project because all you have to do is KNIT. No measuring, counting, or stressing. When you stitch your rectangle up the side, leave a little opening wherever you like for your thumb to pop through. Below is the set that I knitted last night. I got wrapped up in the movie and they are not exactly the same, but it doesn't matter. First, nobody will notice and second, who cares if they do? I love to throw on these little warmers when I'm running errands because my fingers are kept warm but free to move. Perfect!

Well, now I feel a burst of energy so I'm going to jump in the shower, pretty myself up, and make a plan to get out of the house today! Have a great one :)

Renee

Gettin' a Grip...

2010-12-20T21:26:00.001-05:00

The whole Christmas Season, for me, is an odd mix of excitement, joy, depression, anxiety, joy, anxiety, joy, anxiety, depression, and on and on. Each year I can't WAIT to blow my diet for a few weeks, bake like a chef on speed, stuff myself on cookies and forbidden carbs until I have 3 or 4 consecutive days of miserable sugar hang-overs, and grow out of my pants. After a few weeks of total financial and dietary ruin (not to mention unrealized, unrealistic expectations,) I start to question my mania and fall into the inevitable holiday blues. The other day I was sobbing at a coffee commercial. Have I blogged about that yet? Because it's pretty telling.

One of the many upswings of the holidays, though, is getting cards. I'm absolutely AWFUL at sending out cards, but I do love getting them. This year, I received my very first handmade Christmas card (see pic above) and I adore this little red bird. How neat is that??? He is going to live on my tree forevermore.

Lately I've been in the artistic doldrums, too. Pieces that I've been working on are just feeling forced. I've ruined other pieces that I really liked (see what WAS my smoking fish has turned into a color wheel on LSD.) I miss the sunshine and I feel like my imagination has gone into complete hibernation. My taxi painting (at the very top) holds promise but I need to step away for a bit and get my groove back so I don't force another terrible painting incident.

I did peek out of my hermitous cave for a moment this weekend, though, and visited a show at the Owl Tree Gallery. Jennifer Barbe is a pottery artist (I hope I'm saying that right!) that makes beautiful pieces and I couldn't help but pick up a couple of mugs. See the pic below? I bought the light blue on the very left, barely peeking into the photo. They feel sexy to hold and I think you should hold something sexy any chance you get ;)

Okay! I'm off to watch some mindless TLC dribble and make a mental plan on how to get my mojo back! Stay tuned ;)

Renee

The Bird and the Beez...

2010-12-11T12:52:00.001-05:00

The Bird and Beez in my paintings, that is. I WISH I could just be finished with my "Beez: Vase V" painting but every time I look at it, I feel like it needs SOMETHING else. So I painted over the whole blasted vase and I THINK I like it better. I am suppose to take it to Owl Tree Gallery today and I wanted to make it in time to watch a glass demonstration they were having today. Why am I always running late?

And here is a revised "Hamilton Bird." I thought since he is on the verge of a new life, I'd dress him up with a bow-tie to accentuate his stripped legs. I really like him. Maybe my work isn't sophisticated or cutting edge, but I paint what makes me smile in colors that I love to look at. And for me, that's good enough.

And speaking of making me smile, here's my first "real" oil painting in progress. He's a smoking fish, hanging out watching what will become a hot-air balloon show. The thing with oil is that is takes a heck of a long time to dry so I'm just taking my sweet time with him, working on him in between other projects.

Last night, hubby and I went to a RedLine Gallery show for a local artist who does neat abstract that looks kind of like colorful street maps. That's a pic of us above. I had to crop out most of the Christmas tree because I was a lazy decorator this year and left most of my bulbs in the box.

Back to the gallery show: I love how you can tell from first glance who's work belongs to who. Or is it whom? Anyway, I liked the colorful street maps and I love almost everything that the gallery has. I think my new favorite is an artist named Nathanial Galka who paints what strikes me as abstract-Suessian. Very cool. Here is a link if you'd like to see: http://redlinegallery.net/artists/category/11-nathaniel-galka

Okay! I'm going to iron my fuzzy hair, throw on some presentable clothes, and run off to Owl Tree to drop off my paintings (if they're dry. I guess I'd better just be finished!)

Renee :)

Brrrr....

2010-12-06T09:33:00.001-05:00

I woke up this morning, poked a little warm toe out of my cozy bed into the frigid room and decided that today would be the PERFECT day to take off work this week. I have so many holiday related ends to tie up that I couldn't get finished (or even started) over the weekend thanks to a sick hubby and ever present sprout.

So this morning I decided to wrap a couple of gifts and finish Mom's "Handmade Holiday" present. I've been pushing for years for my family to exchange something handmade instead of buying something with no meaning, but my pleas fall on deaf ears.

And I understand because it is SO much easier just to hop on Amazon.com and buy something. I'm guilty of it myself. I had BIG plans to do something neat for my sister but thanks to my penchant for procrastination it probably will NOT happen this year and she will receive the ubiquitous fruit basket.

BUT I did get Mom's art gift well underway last night. In the midst of a giant ant battle. I was laying out the paper onto the wooden plaques to form my birds, looked down and noticed there was an innocent little ant, hanging out on my sleeve. I thought "hmmm... that's odd." THEN I looked down and saw that I was standing directly in the path of at least a thousand ants, making their way to our garbage can. And other places. The cold weather has driven them indoors, too.

I hate to kill anything. ANYTHING. I'm a good ol' carnivore but I have always felt that all of us creatures, big and small, should co-exist as peacefully as possible. Until the ants come to drive us out of house and home. I was literally up until midnight, battling ants and totally de-crumbing the entire kitchen. I woke this morning to find 1000 of their closest friends and family hanging out, having breakfast. Yikes! One more errand to run today: Home Depot to buy ant poison!

Back to art. I've created paintings for Mom in the past but, where I love bold, bright, colorful art, she is more olives and rusts. I put my paintings in her house and they stick out like a big old primary red sore thumb. So I was rummaging through the closet the other night (dragging my Christmas tree out) and found these wooden plaques. I decided to paint the plaques olive/van dyke brown, decoupage a very thin, decorative paper over the top, and then add a little collage bird from scraps of paper. Voila! Handmade holiday that is really adorable, really fast, and will MEAN something every time she walks by and sees them. These aren't completely finished yet, but they are well on their way. Simple is better.

Okay! I'm off to get this day hoppin'! Have a GREAT day!

Renee :)

Soakin' Saturday and Lesson TWO: Protect your Bubble

2010-12-04T12:58:00.002-05:00

Hey All! I'm hoping I can get a blog finished because my internet is running more slowly than my metabolism this morning.

Last night, my best friends and I went to downtown Knoxville and had the most wonderful time. The air was crisp and chilly and the streets were lit with the reflection of a million blue lights from the adorned trees in Market Square. Magical is the only way to describe the feel.

We then ate at one of the best restaurants in town: Sangria. And yes, the sangria was as good as the food.

And as I sat there, basking in the gloriousness of the night, I told myself that I am going to force myself out of my "hermitous" ways and start enjoying the outside world more.

So this morning I got up, got my hair did, made sure my lip gloss was poppin', and then noticed that it is raining bit, fat, cold raindrops. It is a GRAY day. So I painted and painted.

Remember the hot air balloon in progress? Well, as I was dozing this morning I decided I'd much rather have a big fat bird instead. This is Hamilton. He's tired of watching all the other birds fly around freely and has decided to sell his cage, pack up his bags, and embark on a new life. You can see he is hesitant and wondering if he's made the right decision. My hubby just walked in and said that his yellow underbelly looks like a giant mouth. Yikes. That will have to be fixed right away.

When I paint, I usually think of the colors and patterns I want... the subject is almost always the last consideration. I do love whimsical art and I noticed as we were viewing the art last night that the pieces that I really like aren't those that are technically fantastic or "pretty" but the ones that were DIFFERENT and interesting. I think that is what makes the best art.

I've also been thinking about what else I'd like to have known when I was younger which leads me into Lesson Two: Protect Your Bubble.

LESSON TWO: Protect Your Bubble

Sometimes, it is hard to stay positive in a world that often seems to be against you. The way I deal with is to create my own bubble... this is my own reality which is composed of attitude and outlook. Although I function in the outside world, very few things enter my bubble.

For example, the "day job" CAN be a very negative and oppressive place. Every day, I've learned to get up with a smile on my face and approach the day with happiness and optimism. I go in, I do my job, and I envision the negativity bouncing off my bubble. The work place is not me. It is something that I do for part of my day and that's all. It may sound crazy but it works. I work not to allow anyone's bad attitude or negativity affect me. I keep my bubble clean.

Another part of creating a better life is to fill your bubble with inspiring, encouraging people and things. I've once heard that you should surround yourself with people who inspire you. Going out last night with my good friends felt like an energy shot. Surrounding myself with art, chocolate, red wine, a clean home, and a yard full of flowers and herbs makes my bubble my own utopia. I live a simple life but it's a darn good one.

A while back, I had a relationship that went south. I have had people that I've met along the way who didn't like me and it never bothered me. After all, not everyone will like you. That's a fact. But it really gnawed at me that this one failed relationship was affecting me in such a negative way. I felt I had always been a good, loyal friend and I was confused. I couldn't get rid of the angry, hurt feelings and my whole life was colored by it.

I finally realized it was because I had invited this person into my bubble in what I believed at the time was a positive, supportive relationship. It bothered me so much because this person had been part of my most private life, and by the time I realized it was not a healthy friendship, I was stuck with a "dirty bubble." The only way I could let go of the negative thoughts and hurt feelings was to do a good bubble cleaning: I had to put the person in a place where I could view the situation objectively from a neutral perspective and not with emotion. You can't let other people's issues or actions reduce the quality of your life. The only thing you CAN do is to treat people with kindness or at the least politeness, try to find the best in everyone, go to bed with a clean conscience, and always protect yourself and your Bubble.

Okay! I'm off the dance amongst the fat, gray raindrops before I root to this chair! Have a great day :)

Renee

Hellooooo FRIDAY! Lesson ONE: Be Your Own Best Advocate.

2010-12-03T10:07:00.000-05:00

Good morning! It's Friday again, my favorite day of the week. I get to sleep a bit later, lounge around in my jammies, snuggling with my coffee, and put my housework off by painting and blogging and watching Good Morning America. Ahh... life is GOOD! I'm also excited because this is "First Friday" in Knoxville when the galleries stay open late and feature some crazy art. I'm even more excited about bundling up in my winter clothes, trying a new little downtown restaurant and spending time with my wonderful friends :) And Sangria. Yes. Beautiful Sangria.

Lately, I've been much more dedicated to paint every single day because I've mapped out my "dream life" and I realize more than ever that I need to put the WORK behind my dreams. Life is a mix of luck and hard work, but the hard work HAS to be there in order for the luck to kick in.

This first piece, Funky Vase V, is probably finished, although it is impossible for me to ever proclaim that a piece is finished until it has sold and is hanging on someone else's wall, out of the reach of my critical eye and paintbrush.

The first pic is when I originally thought it was finished, but I wasn't HAPPY when I looked at it. So I started slathering on heavy gloss gel medium, doing different shades of paint for each layer to get my black poppies "right." I really like the look of watercolor but I would rather achieve the feel through texture so the gloss medium is GREAT. I then decided I wanted some little bees buzzing around my poppies so I put my little bees in and worked and reworked them until they matched my vision. NOW I really like it. I'm ready to seal it and be FINISHED!

This second piece, my second hot air balloon, is pretty far from being finished but I like to post pics because I look back on my blogs to remember the progression of each piece. It is really easy to forget how you got from point A to point B, in art AND life.

So that leads me into LESSON ONE. I've been thinking about how people say they'd only want to be younger again if they knew what they know now. So I started thinking about the major life changing lessons I've learned that I would want to tell my 21 year old self if I could ever go back and here is Lesson One.

Lesson One: Be Your Own Best Advocate:

I lived so much of my life defining myself through other's perceptions. I often felt I was not as important or as "good" as others. I put so much energy into trying to present an outer package that would be acceptable for others, while inwardly not liking myself at all. My survival mechanism was to discover what other's expected of me and deliver. I was MISERABLE.

At some point, I decided I could NOT continue living blindly, waiting for the next cue as to who or what I was suppose to be. I'm not sure how I came to this realization, but it improved the quality of life exponentially. These are first steps you must take to take ownership of your life and happiness:

1) Realize that you are as important as everyone else. I mean EVERYONE. Sure, some people are more beautiful, smarter, thinner, curvier, more talented; whatever. Some people may have really sad stories or bad luck. You are an individual and you have as much right to happiness and success as anyone else. It takes toughness to stand up and take ownership of your own self-worth and happiness. It is absolutely, completely, and totally irrelevant what is happening in anyone else's life because only THEY can steer their ship. It is equally as important to not resent or envy others for their success as it is not to feel guilty for your own.

2) Expectations by others are not YOUR problem. Each and every person has enough on their plate to manage their own life, they don't need to manage yours. You have to sit down with yourself, decide what YOU want out of life, and take the steps to get there. If you feel you have a constant source of criticism, the only thing you can do to protect yourself is to not take it to heart and if possible minimize contact with that person. Sometimes people have good intentions, other times they may want to hold you back so you don't "out succeed" them. Either way, it doesn't matter. Know thyself and steer your own ship.

3) Setting high standards for yourself and your life is not being selfish. I have found that when I "sacrificed" myself for others, I became angry and resentful. I wasn't giving out of the kindness of my heart, I was being sucked dry by people who knew I was a seemingly endless supply of "yeses." I'm a nice girl. It happens. When I finally toughened up and started viewing myself as important, when I became an advocate for myself, then giving became enjoyable because it was on MY terms. I quit resenting others. I was so much HAPPIER, my relationships were better, and bad relationships fizzled and faded. I realized that some people will absolutely use you up IF you let them. But that isn't the other person's fault. That is your fault. It was MY fault. Whether it be emotionally or financially, you MUST protect yourself and set boundaries.

4) Stop beating yourself up. For example, at times in the past I've been a dieting fool. Crazy fad diets. When I would inevitably fall off the wagon, I would eat like an animal. Not because the food tasted good, but as a punishment for failing. I felt like I deserved to be fat, unattractive, and miserable because I didn't have the will power to succeed. What a vicious cycle that was.

I NOW realize that it has less to do with will power than how I view myself. I view myself worthy of taking care of. I view myself as important enough to feed well, to take the time to exercise when I want to, to take naps if I'm tired without feeling lazy or guilty. I pay attention to my body AND my mind and do what I need to do to keep my life calm and happy.

The best way to deal with any set back is to take the emotion out of it, look to see if there are any lessons to be learned, and MOVE ON. Life goes by SO quickly.

For me, it was a long hard road to learn Lesson One. But once I discovered this, it was if a little light came on and life became illuminated for me, if only just a bit more.

Okay! Enough rambling for today. I am going to crank up my stereo, throw in some laundry, and dance around this house with my dust rag flying!

Renee :)

Another Sunday Spent Covered in Paint...

2010-11-28T20:53:00.001-05:00

First, I'm going to start off on a personal note: I am declaring that starting tomorrow I'm not only going to give up sugar, but I'm going to start counting my calories on SparkPeople.com. This time last year, I was a bit chubbier than I am now ( a LOT chubbier than I was 3 months ago) and MISERABLE. I had no energy, I didn't feel attractive, and I had definitely lost my "sexy" which is a crucial attitude component for any and every woman.

The only pants I had that even semi-fit were high-waisted mom jeans. I honestly didn't want to EVER get out of bed and start the day. I'm dangerously close to becoming that un-sexy frump again.

January 18th of last year I started doing South Beach and within two weeks felt like a whole new woman. My life changed and it was WONDERFUL. I maintained this great feeling almost all year, but began to slip the end of June a bit and now, thanks to the holidays, have completely fell off the wagon (meanin I ate 75% of a pumpkin pie all by myself in one afternoon, made a pretty good dent in two more the next day, and this is besides all the turkey and side dishes.)

Today for lunch I dove into a pile of chips at the Mexican restaurant and then washed them down with a margarita. It absolutely amazes me how easy it is to totally undo all your hard work and progress. I feel like I'm punishing myself for my weakness more than enjoying the food. BUT I know I can get myself back in line and I'm excited about getting back in the groove tomorrow.

On the art front today, the brother and I worked on our mixed media folk art sculptures.

I ran out of small glass eyes so I had to offer up giant acrylic eyes for him to use, which meant a giant clay head to go around them on the smaller Red Stripe bottle armature. I LOVE how they've turned out so far. I can't wait until next week when we add more on to them!

My art news is that I purchased some Holbein Aqua Duo (water mixable oil paints) and started a new painting. Now, I've always been an acrylic girl so there is a HUGE learning curve for me here.

The top pic with the blue/yellow sky and red sea shows my first swipes at the canvas. They are incredibly colorful, creamy paints and I really like them, but I am spoiled by the acrylics ability to dry almost instantly which allows me to layer and make progress a lot more quickly.

The pics above show my "Duality" painting which, the more I looked at, the more I didn't like. Something was just wonky with those fish. So I slathered on layers of different media and paint and now I can see something beautiful in there, waiting to come out.

And lastly, here was my Vase V but I could never get the flowers right. So I slathered some heavy gel medium on the flowers and I'm going to try again until I am really proud of the result. Or else the whole painting may bite the dust.

Okay! Off to waddle around until bed time.

Renee :)

Sipping Coffee Sunday

2010-11-21T21:36:00.000-05:00

As I speak, I am procrastinating instead of showering and getting dressed and ready. Today, I am going to see my favorite Uncle to deliver an early Christmas present: 3 CDs I burned for him with a compilation of his favorite music from mostly the sixties/seventies. Does anyone remember Chevy Van by Sammy Johns? That is one great song! Who knew? I enjoy the subtle, clever sexiness of that era versus the raunchy "in your face" of today.

My first brief topic is the quest to enhance my life through enhancing my diet. What I find amazing is that I am eating SOOOO healthy but I have gained weight. As I stared disbelievingly at my scale this morning, what I decided is that I must simply STOP eating when I'm full and not mindlessly snack, even if my food includes walnuts full of omega 3's or dark chocolate chock full of antioxidants. I'll let you know how well THAT works. I wanted to make a really healthy cobbler for my uncle and my sweet little brother and it turned out great. The recipe is at the bottom if you're interested in a great dessert that is good for you. Actually, with Thanksgiving coming up, this is a great tasting alternative to some of the traditional holiday pies and cakes.

My second brief topic is this painting that is causing me to lose sleep. I feel like I'm done, and then I decide it isn't good enough and I keep working. You can see above the first pic above is the skyline when it is simply blue, and the second pic is when I thought it needed a stronger setting sun to justify the shadows, and then the last pic (below) that I took when I decided it needed a softer, more muted setting sun and stronger mountain line. Geez.

Okay! I'm off to get on with this day! Here is the delicious cobbler recipe if you're interested:

Heat oven to 400 degrees and spray an 8 x 8 pan. I used a glass pan. You will bake for 30-35 minutes.

For Filling (toss ingredients below directly into prepared pan)

2 (12 oz) bags of frozen berries of choice. I used one mixed plus one blueberry.

1/4 cup whole wheat flour

1/4 cup sugar (I used 1/8 cup splenda/sugar baking blend)

1 orange zest plus juice of orange

spices that you like; I used cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves

sprinkle of kosher salt

For Topping (in separate bowl)

Mix together:

1/2 cup whole wheat flour

1 tbsp splenda/sugar mix

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp baking soda

pinch kosher salt

Cut in until clumpy:

2 tbsp chilled butter

Mix in ONLY until moist:

1/3 cup buttermilk (or 1/3 cup milk plus dash of vinegar)

2 tbsp canola oil

Now just drop this batter on top of your fruit mixture in about 5 clumps. Bake and don't eat the whole pan yourself.

Renee :)