Funny and thoughtful Pics

Funny Jokes

2008-10-10T18:55:00.002+05:30

Enjoy................

How Does a Sardar Cheat the Railways??
He buys the ticket but doesn't travel !!!!!!!!

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BANTA SINGH - BEST OF ALL

Friend: What are you looking at?
Banta Singh: I know your Password, hee, hee.
Friend: all right, what is my Password if you saw it?
Banta Singh: four asterisks!

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Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Banta Singh: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Banta Singh: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!

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Banta Singh: (crying) the doctor called, my mother is dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.
After 2 minutes Banta Singh cries even louder Friend: what now?
Banta Singh: my sister just called, her mother died too!

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Jasmeet Kaur watched her husband Santa Singh searching high and low, all over the living room. She asked him: "What are you so frantically searching?"
Santa: "Hidden cameras!"
Jasmeet: "And what makes you think there are hidden cameras here?"
Santa: "Or else, every few minutes, how is that guy on television Saying you are watching the Star World channel'? "How can he know what I am watching?"

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Titanic is sinking.... Everybody in the ship is shouting, crying, running or praying to god...
Just then an Italian asks the nearby Sardarji in the ship.
Italian : How far is land, from here ?
Sardarji : Two miles.
Italian : Only two miles!?.... then why are these fools making noise. I have got the experience of swimming even more.
Sardarji : ??????.....

(The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and comes up to the layer to ask something again)
Italian : Just tell me which side, land is two miles from here?
Sardarji : Downwards

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A man his crying besides a grave. Seeing this a gentleman approaches him, and says to him Sir I have not seen anybody crying so painfully .who was the deceased person ?

Was she ur wife,son,or any of ur parent ?

No the man replies .it was my wife’s first husband .

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God made man then he rested,

God made women and from then

Nobody rested .

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This dog , is dog, a dog, good dog, dog way.,to dog, dog keep,dog an, dog idiot,dog busy,

for dog ,dog 20, seconds 20 . now read the sentence without the word dog

this is a good way to keep an idiot busy for twenty seconds.

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Did u ever notice that when u r driving,

Any one driving slower than u is an idiot,

Any one driving faster than u is an maniac,

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What is the difference between woman and a battery ?

A battery has a positive side .

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WOMAN – the most efficient money reducing agent known to mankind..

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Marriage is a three ring circus

1.Engagement ring

2.wedding ring

3.Suffering.

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man or wife u would have preferred.

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Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I was born beautiful, but what the hell happened to u

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A small boy is asking his dad to serve him a cockroach for lunch, his dad refuses for some time but agrees later, he gets hold of a cockroach and gives it to his son

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Son : mujhe yeh fry kiya hua chayee.

Dad : O.k.

Son : ab usay namak aur masala lagao .

Dad : O.k.

Son :ab main akela kaisa kahaon aap pehlay taste karo,phir main khaonga.

Dad : O.k. ,beta ab tum kahaon

Son : main nahin kahne wala ,kyonki yeh to aapne isay joota kar diya hai .

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One day a dog was running behind a sardar...

But the SARDAR was laughing..

One man asked why u r so happy?

He said...

HA HA HA....Mere paas Airtel mobile hai...

But Still Hutch network is following

  ***********************************************

Santa comes home one night and his

  wife Jeeto throws her arms around

  neck, "Darling, I have a great news

  I'm a month overdue. I think we're

  going to have a baby! The doctor gave

  me a test today, but until we find

  out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

  The next day, a guy from the electric

  company rings the doorbell, because

  they hadn't paid their last bill.

  "Are you Mrs Santa? You're a month

  overdue, you know!"

  "How do you know?" stammers Jeeto.

  "Well ma'am, it' in our files!" says

  the man from the electric company.

  "What are you saying? It's in your

  files????"

  "Absolutely."

  Well, let me talk to my husband about

  this tonight."

  That night, she tells Santa about the

  electrician's visit and Santa mad as

  a bull, rushes to the electric

  company's office, next morning.

  Santa, "What's going on here? You

  have it on file that my wife is a

  month overdue? What business is that

  of yours?"

  "Just calm down," says the clerk,

  "it's nothing serious. All you have

  to do is pay us."

  Santa, "Pay you? And if I refuse?"

  "Well, in that case, sir, we'd have

  no option but to cut you off."

  "And what would my wife Jeeto do

  then?"

  I don't know. I guess, she'd have to

  use candle."

Awesome Photography

2008-10-06T15:26:00.009+05:30

Similarities

2008-09-29T11:28:00.004+05:30

This is Amazing....

1. Are they ships or pillers!!!!

2.Are they audiences or buildings ?????

3.How many horses are there in this picture? Should find 7

4.How many people are there ????????

5.Impossible ring

6.live carpet

7.water fall or human fall???

8.In the forest there are five hidden deers....... .Can you find all of them???????? ?

9. How many pillers are there ,three or two ???????????
Look at the middle column.
Where does it end?

10.DO YOU SEE FOUR PEOPLE?

11.Who is the tallest?

12.A face? ... Or, the word 'liar' ?

13.NEXT:
What do you see here?
Do you see the word "LIFT"?
Or, a bunch of black splotches ?

15.NEXT? FIND THE FACES:

16.THE LAST ONE: FOCUS ON THE DOT!

An Old Story

2008-09-23T16:24:00.000+05:30

An Old Story:

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs dances plays the summer away.

Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

New Indian Version:

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool and laughs dances plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter .

Mayawati states this as `injustice' done on Minorities.

Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) .

Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for 'Bengal Bandh' in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.

CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers.

Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ' Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act' [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter.

Arjun Singh makes 'Special Reservation ' for Grasshoppers in Educational Institutions in Government Services.

The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes,it's home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.

Arundhati Roy calls it ' A Triumph of Justice'.

Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice '.

CPM calls it the ' Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden '

Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.

Many years later...

The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar company in Silicon Valley,

100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India ,

..AND

As a result of losing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the grasshoppers, India is still a developing country...!! ! :) :) :)

Nice One !!!

2008-09-23T16:22:00.000+05:30

This is from an actual trial in the UK.

A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus.

When She Noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on Account of her condition.

She changed her seat and he seemed more amused.

She moved again and then on her third move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested.

Then the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he acted in such a manner. His reply was: When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant..

She sat under an advertisement, which read: 'Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins'.

I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement, which read: 'William's Stick Did The Trick'.

Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read: 'Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident.'

The case was dismissed………!!!

Best Statues around the world

2008-09-16T21:42:00.002+05:30

Dont mess with a child

2008-09-16T21:28:00.002+05:30

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The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead."

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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.

The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

Ever dont mess with a child...

Transparent Butterfly

2008-09-13T12:24:00.005+05:30

Transparent Butterfly

No honey, I don't feel like it tonight...." TOO GOOD...!!!

2008-09-10T13:53:00.000+05:30

This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Have a sense
of humour!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

===========================

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well,
the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So
she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who
I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."
We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was
almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with
excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go
to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that girl
knows I'm smarter than her.

---

Nice One

2008-09-03T18:49:00.002+05:30

A Gujrati, a Madrasi and a sardaar were doing construction work on
Scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were having lunch and Gujju said, "Dhokla! If I get dhokla one more
time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Madrasi opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Idli Sambhar again! If I
get idli sambhar one more time I'm going to jump off too."

The sardaar opened his lunch and said, "Parontha again! If I get a parontha
one more time, I'm jumping too."
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The next day, the Gujju opened his lunch box, saw dhokla, and jumped to his
death.

The Madrasi opened his lunch, saw idli sambhar, and jumped, too.

The sardaar opened his lunch, saw the parontha and jumped to his death as
well.

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-
-

At the funeral, Gujju's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how
really tired he was of dhokla, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Madrasi's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him dossa! I
didn't realize he hated idli sambhar so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the sardaar's wife.

Scroll down for her answer

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The sardaar's wife said,

"Don't look at me.

I never cooked. He makes his own lunch."

Award for Good Construction

2008-09-02T05:52:00.004+05:30

Nominees are

And The Winner is

Idiots Of the year - Ireland

2008-08-24T10:44:00.004+05:30

Idiots Of the year - Ireland

Very Cute Combination

2008-08-24T10:38:00.002+05:30

Amazing Night Scenes Around The World

2008-08-18T19:32:00.004+05:30

Truth About Taj Mahal

2008-08-18T19:00:00.008+05:30

BBC says about Taj Mahal---Hidden Truth - Never say it is a Tomb

Aerial view of the Taj Mahal

Close up of the pinnacle

Frontal view of the Taj Mahal and dome

The interior water well

A marble apartment on ground floor

Rear view of the Taj & 22 apartments

View of sealed doors & windows in back

Red lotus at apex of the entrance

Close up of the dome with pinnacle

Staircase that leads to the lower levels

The OM in the flowers on the walls

Typical Vedic style corridors

The Music House--a contradiction

A locked room on upper floor

Vedic design on ceiling of a locked room

Interior of one of the 22 secret rooms

Interior of another of the locked rooms

One of the 22 rooms in the secret lower level

300 foot long corridor inside apartments

Pavilion where Mumtaz is said to be buried

Palace in Barhanpur where Mumtaz died

Secret walled door that leads to other rooms

Secret bricked door that hides more evidence

Huge ventilator sealed shut with bricks

NOW READ THIS........

No one has ever challenged it except Prof. P. N. Oak, who believes the
whole world has been duped. In his book Taj Mahal: The True Story, Oak says
the
Taj Mahal is not Queen Mumtaz's tomb but an ancient Hindu temple palace of
Lord Shiva (then known as Tejo Mahalaya ) . In the course of his research O
ak discovered that the Shiva temple palace was usurped by Shah Jahan from
then Maharaja of Jaipur, Jai Singh. In his own court ch ronicle,
Badshahnama,
Shah Jahan admits that an exceptionally beautiful grand mansion in Agra
was taken from Jai SIngh for Mumtaz's burial .. The ex-Maharaja of Jaipur
still
retains in his secret collection two orders from Shah Jahan for
surrendering the Taj building. Using captured temples and mansions, as a
burial place for
dead courtiers and royalty was a common practice among Muslim rulers.

For example, Humayun,Akbar, Etmud-ud-Daula and Safdarjung are all buried
in such mansions. Oak's inquiries began with the name of Taj Mahal. He says

the term " Mahal " has never been used for a building in any Muslim countries
from Afghanisthan to Algeria . "The unusual explanation that the term Taj
Mahal derives from Mumtaz Mahal was illogical in atleast two respects.

Firstly, her name was never Mumtaz Mahal but Mumtaz-ul-Zamani ," he writes.
Secondly, one cannot omit the first three letters 'Mum' from a woman's
name to derive the remainder as the name for the building."Taj Mahal, he
claims, is a corrupt version of Tejo Mahalaya, or Lord Shiva's Palace . Oak
also says the love story of Mumtaz and Shah Jahan is a fairy tale cre ated
by
court sycophants, blundering historians and sloppy archaeologists Not a
single royal chronicle of Shah Jahan's time corroborates the love story.

Furthermore, Oak cites several documents suggesting the Taj Mahal predates
Shah Jahan's era, and was a temple dedicated to Shiva, worshipped by
Rajputs of Agra city. For example, Prof. Marvin Miller of New York took a
few
samples from the riverside doorway of the Taj. Carbon dating tests revealed
that the door was 300 years older than Shah Jahan. European traveler Johan
Albert Mandelslo,who visited Agra in 1638 (only seven years after Mumtaz's
death), describes the life of the cit y in his memoirs. But he makes no
reference to the Taj Mahal being built. The writings of Peter Mundy, an
English visitor to Agra within a year of Mumtaz's death, also suggest the
Taj was a noteworthy building well before Shah Jahan's time.

Prof. Oak points out a number of design and architectural inconsistencies
that support the belief of the Taj Mahal being a typical Hindu temple
rather
than a mausoleum.. Many rooms in the Taj ! Mahal have remained sealed
since Shah Jahan's time and are still inaccessible to the public . Oak
asserts they contain a headless statue of Lord Shiva and other objects
commonly used for worship rituals in Hindu temples Fearing political
backlash, Indira Gandhi's government t ried to have Prof. Oak's book
withdrawn from the bookstores, and threatened the Indian publisher of the
first edition dire consequences . There is only one way to discredit or
validate Oak's research.

The current government should open the sealed rooms of the Taj Ma hal under
U.N. supervision, and let international experts investigate.

Do circulate this to all you know and let them know about this reality.....

What you think now???

Amazing Hotels

2008-08-18T18:50:00.002+05:30

Nice Pics

2008-08-15T19:35:00.003+05:30

Why "MEN DIE FOR WOMAN" ?.... This is the best among the other pics

Funny Pics

This is an Alarm which stops by removing correct pin, if you always wake up late, then this is wonderful way of keeping you awake.

Can you do like this ........

2008-08-13T13:28:00.002+05:30

Interesting Girls

2008-08-13T13:26:00.002+05:30

~*~Type Of Girls~*~

HARD DISK GIRLS:

she remembers everything, FOREVER

RAM GIRLS:

she forget about you, the moment turn her off

WINDOW GIRLS:

everyone know that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live

without her.

SCREENSAVER GIRLS:

She is good for nothing but at least she is fun

INTERNET GIRLS:

Difficult to access

SERVER GIRLS:

Always busy when you need her.

MULTIMEDIA GIRLS:

She make horrible thing look beautiful

CD-ROM GIRLS:

She is always faster and faster.

EMAIL GIRLS:

Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense .

VIRUS GIRLS:

Also known as "wife'' when you are not expecting her, she comes,

install herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall

her you will lose something, if don't try you uninstall her you will

lose everything...

Interesting Girls

2008-08-13T13:26:00.001+05:30

~*~Type Of Girls~*~

HARD DISK GIRLS:

she remembers everything, FOREVER

RAM GIRLS:

she forget about you, the moment turn her off

WINDOW GIRLS:

everyone know that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live

without her.

SCREENSAVER GIRLS:

She is good for nothing but at least she is fun

INTERNET GIRLS:

Difficult to access

SERVER GIRLS:

Always busy when you need her.

MULTIMEDIA GIRLS:

She make horrible thing look beautiful

CD-ROM GIRLS:

She is always faster and faster.

EMAIL GIRLS:

Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense .

VIRUS GIRLS:

Also known as "wife'' when you are not expecting her, she comes,

install herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall

her you will lose something, if don't try you uninstall her you will

lose everything...

Best T-shirt ever made

2008-08-13T13:13:00.001+05:30

New seat belt law

2008-08-13T13:07:00.001+05:30

This is very Important, please pass on to friends and family. THIS MAY SAVE A LIFE!

The National Highway
Safety Council has done
extensive testing on a newly
designed seat belt. Results
show that accidents can be
reduced by as much as 45%
when the belt is properly
installed. Correct installation
is illustrated below.......

Bicycle brand of BMW

2008-08-12T18:48:00.003+05:30

Transportation

2008-08-12T18:38:00.002+05:30

Jokes

2008-08-12T18:28:00.000+05:30

Teacher:"What is your name?".


Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."


Teacher:"When I ask a question in English, answer it in english."


Student:"My name is Sunlight.

---------------------------------------------

Teacher: What happened in 1869?


Student:Gandhi ji was born.


Teacher :What happened in 1873?


Student:Gandhiji was four years old.


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
---------

Question:What is the fullform of maths.


Answer: Mentally affected teachers harassing students


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
---------

Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped
him
then what virtue would I be showing ?

Student : BROTHERLY LOVE

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
---------

Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.

Student:A holiday

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
---------

Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend
it.

Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.

Teacher :Why?

Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
---------

Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? "

Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same
time."

------------ --------- --------- -------

Teacher: How old is ur father.

Sunny:As old as I am.

Teacher:How is it possible?

Sunny:He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)

------------ --------- --------- -------

Teacher:There is a frog,Ship is sinking,potatoes cost Rs3/kg...Then,
what is
my age?

STUDENT:32 yrs.

Teacher:How do you know?

STUDENT:Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.