Funny Comedys

I'm a Winner...

2012-07-16T11:06:00.001-07:00

Henson Ray of Henson's Hell held a contest and I was one of the three lucky winners. Woo Hoo! If you enjoy top quality kitty videos you will love his videos. You will fall in love with the characters. Here's Henson's notifying post:I am please to announce the three lucky winners for my latest contest. They will each receive a Wizardofwit t-shirt and a copy of the "Cat Clips DVD, Volume One."

Financial Planning 101

2012-07-16T01:10:00.001-07:00

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary

How to Sell Toothbrushes

2012-07-16T00:10:00.007-07:00

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited.Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success.""Very good," said the teacher.Little

How to be Cruel to Old Guys

2012-07-16T00:10:00.006-07:00

AARP Eye Chart Hat tip: Georgia L.

Saturday Musings

2012-07-16T00:10:00.005-07:00

There are at least two people in this world that you would die for. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep. You mean the world to someone. You are special and

More Bad Predictions

2012-07-16T00:10:00.004-07:00

"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible." -- A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?" -- H. M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927."I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable

A Cows Tail

2012-07-15T01:10:00.001-07:00

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.Naturally, the doctor asked him, 'What happened to YOU?''Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our golf balls into a field of cattle.We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of

Intergalactic Travels

2012-07-15T00:10:00.007-07:00

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'The younger

Need A Smile? Part Two

2012-07-15T00:10:00.006-07:00

Hat tip: Colleen of Short Stories in the Making

The Comment Game

2012-07-15T00:10:00.005-07:00

It's time to play the comment game again. We are on the boat, but most of you already know that.Here's how it goes: I'll start the game off at the bottom of this post by choosing two words or phrases, like coffee or tea, and which ever one you prefer you choose. You can also explain why. When you have done that you do two new words or phrases for the next commenter to choose from. Feel free

Silly Sunday #39

2012-07-15T00:10:00.004-07:00

Are you funny? If so, please join in at Silly Sunday, co-hosted by Rhonda of Kibitz Spot and Laugh Quotes and Sandee of funny comedys. Rhonda is on a big adventure traveling the world until December 2, 2012. For more information about Silly Sunday click HERE.The rules are simple: Post anything funny or silly on your blog.Add your link on the Silly Sunday linky below.If you want more laughs –

The Mysterious Bartender

2012-07-14T19:00:00.001-07:00

The new bartender was tall and handsome, but there was something very mysterious about him too. Many times I saw him watching her out of the corner of his eye as she bent over the fire. "What are you doing?" he asked.She appeared out of sorts. "My boyfriend left me and I'm debating jumping in the fire."The bartender sighed, "It's a fake fireplace, Miss." "Oh," she said with a face so pitiful."

Top 10 U.N. Slogans

2012-07-14T01:10:00.001-07:00

Stolen from: Phils Phun

The Weekend

2012-07-14T00:10:00.007-07:00

This is our 340 Sea Ray Sundancer. Our boating buddies took pictures of us last weekend as we cruised to Ebony Boat Club for our fantastic weekend of boating fellowship and lots of great food. I needed a picture of our boat for next years club roster as I'll be the commodore and it's customary to have your boat along with a picture of you and your spouse as part of the roster. The first one is

Need A Smile? Part One

2012-07-14T00:10:00.006-07:00

Hat tip: Colleen of Short Stories in the Making

Four Generations

2012-07-14T00:10:00.005-07:00

On July 7th our family celebrated Sarah's (our granddaughter) 20th birthday. Her favorite food is shrimp and she always wants to go to Red Lobster. So Red Lobster it was. After we finished dinner hubby wanted a picture of the four generations in attendance. So here we are.Left to right: Sarah (20), my son Richard (40), me (I'll be 60 in September) and baby Audi at the ripe old age of 7 months

Kids on Medicine

2012-07-14T00:10:00.004-07:00

"For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.""For head cold: Use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.""For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops.""For fractures: To see if the limb is broken, giggle it gently back and forth.""For dust in the eye: Pull the eye down over the nose.""Blood flows down one leg and

The Operation...

2012-07-13T01:10:00.001-07:00

A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her. The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating theater, where she leaves the girl on the trolley outside, while she goes in to check whether everything is ready.A young man wearing a white coat approaches, lifts the sheet up and

About Women

2012-07-13T00:10:00.007-07:00

It's not difficult to make a woman happy.A man only needs to be:a frienda companiona lovera brothera fathera mastera chefan electriciana carpentera plumber a mechanica decoratora stylista sexologista psychologista pest exterminatora psychiatrista healera good listeneran organizer a good fathervery cleansympatheticathletic

Awww...Mondays #21

2012-07-13T00:10:00.006-07:00

"AWWW MONDAYS" Participants1. Joanne2. DrillerAA093. Vicissitudes of Life4. Grace5. gpartha6. baterya7. Acai Ignite8. Ev Nucci9. Stacie10. Anglia11. anthonynorth12. K13. Diane14. Sandy B 15. PinkLady 16. Dorothy L 17. Jeni18. Finding Pam19. barb 20. Empress Bee (of the High Sea)21. Ivanhoe 22. Bingo 23. Reverse Cell Phone

Wednesdays Question #11

2012-07-13T00:10:00.005-07:00

It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.So here's this weeks question:What is the best movie, television show, or play you've ever seen?

Kids on the Bible, Part II

2012-07-13T00:10:00.004-07:00

"The Seventh Commandment is, 'Thou shalt not admit adultery.'""Moses died before he ever reached Canada.""Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.""The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still, and he obeyed him.""David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.""David fought with the Philatelists, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.""Solomon

The Jogger

2012-07-12T01:10:00.001-07:00

I love stealing jokes and Vodka Mom of I Need a Martini Mom wanted me to see a joke that Jeanne of The Raisin Chronicles posted on her blog titled Old Joke #3. Enjoy...A guy is out jogging very early one morning when he realizes he has to take a dump. He looks around for a public building, or a gas station, but he’s in a residential neighborhood. He runs for a few more minutes, but the urge

Awww...Mondays #72

2012-07-12T00:10:00.007-07:00

Most of you know that I didn't start this meme. Kimmy did of Pretty Amazing Grace. She started this meme in January 2009 and I've been participating since that time. Kimmy quit participating a very, very long time ago. What am I saying here? This is my last Awww...Monday.

Middle of the Road

2012-07-12T00:10:00.006-07:00

This guy arrives at the Pearly Gates. He has to wait to be admitted, while St. Pete leafs through his Big Book.He's checking to see if the guy is worthy of entry or not. Saint Peter goes through the books several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, "You know, I can't see that you did lots of good in your life but, you never did anything bad either. Tell you what, if you can tell me of