Funny & Interesting Email Forwards

Life is a Gift

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 08:50:52 PST

There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She said that if she could only see the world, she...

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Sherlock Holmes

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 09:46:00 PST

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at...

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Two Hunter's

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 09:45:11 PST

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My...

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A Blond and Her Rolls Royce

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 07:51:00 PST

A blond walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need...

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Racial Truths

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 07:46:00 PST

10 Truths Black And Hispanic People Know, But White People Won’t Admit: 1. Elvis is dead. 2. Jesus was not White. 3. Rap music is here to stay 4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean. 5. Skinny...

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Dear Dad

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 09:45:00 PST

Letter home from school... Dear Dad, $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like,...

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Smart Words

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 07:44:23 PST

1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired. 2. A will is a dead giveaway. 3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. 4. A backward poet writes inverse. 5. In a democracy it's...

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Holiday Eating Tips

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 08:10:55 PST

Holiday Eating Tips 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where...

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Don't Mess With Italian Mothers

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 09:59:04 PST

Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Maria. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty Anthony’s roommate is....

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12 Things My Mom Taught Me

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 11:10:43 PST

1 – APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside; I’ve only just finished cleaning.” 2 – TIME TRAVEL: “If you don’t behave, I’m going to knock you into the middle of...

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The Veterinarian

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 09:06:30 PDT

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week. The following Sunday, he watched as...

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The Difference Between Heaven and Hell

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 16:42:35 PDT

Heaven is a place where the police are English; the chefs are Italian; the car mechanics are German; the lovers are French and it's all organized by the Swiss. Hell is a place where the police are...

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How Flight Announcements Should Be

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 12:13:28 PDT

“To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in...

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A Letter From Home

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 08:44:33 PDT

Dear Son, Just a few lines to let you know I’m still alive. I’m writing this letter slowly because I know you can’t read fast. We are all doing very well. You won’t recognize the house when you...

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50 Things I Learned from the Movies

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 07:12:08 PDT

1. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555. 2. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth. 3. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think...

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You're Next

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 06:26:19 PDT

Old people at weddings always poke me and say "You're next." So, I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

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Babies at 65

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 14:22:11 PDT

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit. "May I see...

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Skinny Dipping

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 08:51:52 PDT

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts,...

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50 Easy April Fool's Day Pranks

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 12:03:49 PDT

April Fool’s Day is one of the best days of the year. On no other day are you “legally” allowed to play jokes and pranks on your friends, family and co-workers and have a built-in excuse. Some people...

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Dear Genitals

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 16:09:17 PST

Dear Genitals, Thank you for not bleeding every month. You're the best. Sincerely, A Man

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More Creative Voicemail Messages

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 15:12:00 PDT

I'm not at home today, and I might not be home tomorrow. So please leave a message after the tone. I didn't take a shower today, and I might not take one tomorrow. So if you don't leave a message...

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A Day of Golf

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 13:48:38 PDT

A man was out golfing with his friends. On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang. It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a...

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Fill in the Blanks

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 09:33:13 PDT

How fast can you guess these words? 1. F_ _K 2. PU_S_ 3. S_X 4. P_N_S 5. BOO_S 6. _ _NDOM Answers: 1. FORK 2. PULSE 3. SIX 4. PANTS 5. BOOKS 6. RANDOM You got all 6 wrong,...

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Margaritas

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 10:55:12 PDT

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? Do you suffer exhaustion from the day to day grind? If you answered yes to any of these...

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Nun Joke

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 17:09:31 PDT

Three nuns go to heaven together where they are met by St Peter at the pearly gates. St Peter welcomes them but he informs them that before he can grant them entry into paradise they must each answer...

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