Funny Jokes Blog

What movies teach us

2014-07-11T15:16:00.004+05:30

Relationships

2013-07-16T23:43:00.000+05:30

A Lost bag

2013-07-13T16:41:00.000+05:30

A boy found a bag of money n called one FM station: 'hello, I found a lost bag with $100,000, an ID and a master card belonging to one Mr. Afibi.
PRESENTER: U r such an honest boy! So i believe u want to return the bag?
BOY: Nooo! I dey craze? For what? I just want to dedicate a song to him. Play him' Chop my money' by P Square :P

And you thought only humans date?

2013-07-12T23:27:00.002+05:30

Here's how a dog introduces her boyfriend to her parents!

The most suitable suitor!

2013-07-12T21:51:00.000+05:30

Father in law: young man you are here
to seek my daughter's hand in
marriage and you are chewing gum?
that is lack of respect.
Man: sir i only chew when am drunk or
smoked.
Father in law: you mean you drink and
smoke?
Man: sir,i only drink and smoke when i
go to club.
Father in law: you club too?
Man: i am sorry sir,i started clubbing
when i came out of prison.
Father in law: you have been in a
prison before?oh my God!
Man: i went to jail when i killed
someone.
Father in law: what!!! You are a
murderer?
Man: it happened out of anger.it was a
certain old man who didn't allow me
to marry his daughter,so i killed him.
Father in law: you are highly welcome
my son.you are in the right track for
my daughter.....

Why so late?

2013-07-12T15:42:00.001+05:30

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: Mom and dad were fighting.
Teacher: They were fighting, so why are you late?
Student: One shoe was with dad and the other was with mom :D

Abeiku and Atongo

2013-07-12T15:39:00.000+05:30

Abeiku and Atongo were arrested for stealing at the shop...The next day, they were sent to the court..
Judge[looked at Abeiku]:
"what did U steal..?"
Abeiku: "A tin of fish.."
Judge:" How many were in..?
Abeiku:" 6 fishes!!"
Judge:" oh ok..U're sentenceto 6 years in prison!!..
Immediately Abeiku fell
down, and started laughing
his lungs out..
Judge[puzzled]: "why are U
laughing..?"
Abeiku[stilllaughing]:"
haaahaa..My friend, Atongo
stole BAKED BEANS...

At the University

2013-07-12T11:07:00.000+05:30

Three University guys dodged an afternoon exam because they weren't prepared for it. They came up with a plan, got themselves dirty using grease then went to see the Dean. ”Sir we are sorry we couldn't make it to the exam. We attended a wedding very early dis morning and on our way back the car broke down thus we became so dirty as you can see. The Dean understood and gave them three days to prepare. After three days they went to the Dean very ready for the exam as they have studied hard. The Dean put them in there separate classes. There were only four questions on the exam paper;
1. Who and who got married? (25 mks)
2. Where was the reception held? (25mks)
3. Where exactly did the car break down? (25mks)
4.What type of a car broke down? (25mks)
Good luck, your answers must be the same.!!!

Then and Now!

2013-07-11T23:40:00.000+05:30

Intelligent Beggar!

2013-07-11T23:36:00.000+05:30

40 reasons why beer is better than woman

2013-04-06T04:06:00.001+05:30

1. You can enjoy a beer all month.
2. Beer stains wash out.
3. You don't have to wine and dine a beer.
4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car.
5. When beer goes flat you toss it out.
6. Beer is never late.
7. hangovers eventually go away.
8. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
9. Beer labels come off without a fight.
10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.
11. Beer never has a headache.
12. After you have a beer, the bottle is still worth a dime.
13. A beer won't get upset if you come home with beer on your breath.
14. If you pour a beer right, you will always get good head.
15. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.
16. A beer always goes down gently.
17. You can share a beer with your friends and enemies.
18. You always know that you are the first one to pop a beer.
19. A beer is always wet.
20. Beer doesn't demand equality.
21. A beer doesn't care when you come.
22. You can have a beer in public.
23. A frigid beer is a good beer.
24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
25. Beer always comes in multiples of six.
26. Beer doesn't mind being in the "wet spot" that IT left.
27. You can't catch anything but a "buzz" from a beer.
28. After you have a beer, you're committed to nothing other than dumping the empty bottle.
29. A beer never costs you more than five dollars and never leaves you thirsty.
30. When your beer is gone, you just pop another.
31. You rarely (if ever) find beer labels on the shower curtain rod.
32. Beer looks the same in the morning.
33. Beer doesn't look you up in a month.
34. Beer doesn't worry about someone walking in.
35. Beer doesn't worry about waking the kids.
36. Beer doesn't get cramps.
37. Beer doesn't have a mother.
38. Beer doesn't have morals.
39. Beer doesn't go crazy once a month.
40. Beer always listens and never argues.

Boys Vs Girls

2012-11-09T23:56:00.002+05:30

Blog Authors required

2012-08-31T22:25:00.000+05:30

Dear Readers,

Jokesblog.net is looking for blog authors who would like to contribute good quality jokes to the blog. If you are interested in being an author on JokesBlog.net, drop a mail to admin@jokesblog.net (This is not a paid position)

Funny Dog

2012-08-31T22:15:00.001+05:30

Doctor's strike

2012-08-31T22:13:00.001+05:30

In the internet age..

2012-01-24T10:34:00.000+05:30

No ways we are tolerating internet censorship!

2012-01-23T10:04:00.000+05:30

After Chrome, Now Firefox hairstyle!

2012-01-20T10:55:00.002+05:30

Oops

2012-01-17T22:51:00.000+05:30

The world as we know it!

2011-12-15T17:19:00.002+05:30

RECESSION UPDATES

2011-11-16T01:25:00.000+05:30

1. Ali Baba and the forty thieves are now Ali Baba and the thirty thieves. Ten were laid off.

2. Batman and Robin are now Batman and Pedro. Batman fired Robin.... and hired Pedro because Pedro was willing to work twice the hours at
the same rate

3. Iron man now "air-pooling" with Superman to save fuel costs.

4. Women finally marrying for love, and not money

5. Q: With the current market turmoil, what's the easiest way tomake a small fortune?

A: Start off with a large one.

6. The credit crunch is getting bad isn't it? I mean, I let my brother borrow $10 a couple of weeks back, it turns out I'm now America's third biggest lender.

7. Q: Why have Dubai real estate agents stopped looking out of the
window in the morning?

A: Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.

8. Q: What's the difference between an American and a Zimbabwean?

A: In a few weeks, nothing.

9. Dow Jones is re-branded as "Down Jones".

EGO, then and now

2011-11-15T03:18:00.000+05:30

Students and career

2011-11-12T16:32:00.000+05:30

What Happens when you tell kids that you ate their Halloween Candy!

2011-11-11T22:28:00.000+05:30

Car Accident

2011-10-20T18:59:00.000+05:30

A man and a woman got into a car accident. Their cars got

totally demolished but luckily both of them were all right.

After they crawl out of the wreckage, the woman says,"wow!

Look at the cars they're totaled! But luckily we both dint even

get a scratch! This is a sign that we should become friends

and not try to pin the blame on each other.

Man," I totally agree wit u."

The woman points to a bottle on the ground and says," that

bottle survived the crash just like us, I think its a sign from

him. We should open it and celebrate our new found

friendship wit it.."

She then hands the bottle to the man. He nods his head and

because of the nerve-wrecking accident he chugs about a

third of the bottle.. He hands it back to the woman, who

immediately puts the cap back on and hands it back to the

man.

Man,"aren't u having any?"

The woman replies," no I think ill just wait for the police;)