Funny mails

How to write a paper in college/university

2008-12-04T11:56:00.001+05:30

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lit place in front of your computer.

2. Log onto MSN and ICQ (be sure to go on away!). Check your email.

3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.

4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some chocolate to help you concentrate.

5. Check your email.

6. Call up a friend and ask if he/she wants to go to grab a coffee. Just to get settled down and ready to work.

7. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lit place.

8. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.

9. Check your email.

10. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.

11. Look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.

12. Grab some mp3z off of kazaa.

13. Check your email. ANY OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR YET?!

14. MSN chat with one of your friends about the future. (ie summer plans).

15. Check your email.

16. Listen to your new mp3z and download some more.

17. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if she's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory emarks about your prof, the
course, the college, the world at large.

18. Walk to the store and buy a pack of gum. You've probably run out.

19. While you've got the gum you may as well buy a magazine and read it.

20. Check your email.

21. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV.

22. Play some solitare (or age of legends!).

23. Check out bored.com.

24. Wash your hands.

25. Call up a friend to see how much they have done, probably haven't started either.

26. Look through your housemate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.

27. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.

28. Check to see if bored.com has been updated yet.

29. Check your email and listen to your new mp3z.

30. You should be rebooting by now, assuming that windows is crashing on schedule.

31. Read over the assignment one more time, just for heck of it.

32. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.

33. Lie face down on the floor and moan.

34. Punch the wall and break something.

35. Check your email.

36. Mumble obscenities.

37. 5am - start hacking on the paper without stopping. 6am -paper is finished.

38. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to write that stupid paper.

39. Go to class, hand in paper, and leave right away so you can take a nap.

--
Arun Shivaram P
My blog:http://arunstechcorner.blogspot.com
Also : http://www.itech7.com/blog/Arun
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/arunsonnet
About me: http://www.arunshivaram.co.cc

New theory about women

2008-11-27T22:43:00.001+05:30

New Theory about Women :

1. To find a woman you need time and money therefore:

women = time x money ............@

2. " Time is money " so

time = money ...........................@

3. Therefore:

women =money x money

women = ( money )^2 ............@

4. "Money is the root of all problems "

money = ( problems )^1/2 ......@

5. Therefore:

women = (problems)^2/2

And the final conclusion is

-------------------------------

women = problems

-------------------------------

Hey girls out there, this mail is just for fun,

Now don't get angry and create any problem to prove that this theory is correct....

--
Arun Shivaram P
My blog:http://arunstechcorner.blogspot.com
Also : http://www.itech7.com/blog/Arun
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/arunsonnet
About me: http://www.arunshivaram.co.cc

Are you ready for marriage... 3 ways to find it out..

2008-11-22T06:48:00.002+05:30

This one is for all those, who have been bluffed by their partners, that they are ready for the Big 'M'. Believe me you can always fool yourself to think that you are, but there are some Scientific Techniques of finding out the truth.

So it's simple now, just follow any of these listed techniques, and find it for yourself.

1: The Room Trap Technique
Technique Summary: This is a very easy and efficient way to find out. Here's how you can do it.

One fine day enter into your bedroom, take a big iron lock, and lock your room from inside. and then throw the key outside from the window. make sure that you don't have anything of interest with you in the room. No laptops, mobile,etc...

Now if you are able to stay in that room, without any problem, till someone discovers that you have been in that room for last 2 days, without any food, water and entertainment. It means that you are ready to Go!

Else, if you start feeling TRAPPED! and you start crying for help, you want to get out, but you have no key and you feel helpless....then you have got it, it's what the marriage is all about! stay away from it

2: The Credit Card Abuse Technique
Technique Summary: On one fine day go to a busy market street, and drop your credit card on the road and you are all set, just come back to home. and sit relaxed for month, and wait for your credit card statement to come.

Now please go through the bill and details of how your credit card got abused. If you can take all this and still smile and are in position to pay the bill, then you are ready! just say those words "I do"

Else please understand that your credit card will be abused like this for the rest of your life, and you will have to take all this with a smile on your face. so think twice before you do the DO!

3: The Chewing Gum Technique
Technique Summary: A very simple, quick but effective technique. Go to your nearest super store and buy a single chewing gum. Now put into your mouth and start chewing it, enjoy the sweet flavored juices, which will flow in your mouth for sometime, then the chewing will start turning tasteless, and bland. now you will be tempted to spit the gum and replace with a fresh one. so the real test starts now. You have to keep chewing that gum for the rest of the day. no sweetness, no artificial flavors, no juices, Just a piece of rubber in your mouth.

If you can do it successfully, then the gates of marriage are open and also welcoming you in. Else, some relationships can become like a stale chewing gum, and you have to get used to them, before you get into them.

Hope the above mentioned techniques, will help you in take this important decision of life. These techniques are certified by ISO 2008 Indian Govt Quality Process. Please note that the govt. officials were not bribed to get this done!

Arun Shivaram P
My blog:http://arunstechcorner.blogspot.com
Also : http://www.itech7.com/blog/Arun
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/arunsonnet
About me: http://www.arunshivaram.co.cc

Einstein Morphs @ 5m distance

2008-06-25T07:01:00.004+05:30

5 meters distance

This is the craziest thing I've seen in a long time.
For those of you in the 21st century (e.g. blackberry owners), you'll need to look at this on a pc.
You also have to get out of your seat and walk away from your computer. People may think you're crazy.
But it's well worth it.

When you look at this picture in a
closer look you see its Albert Einstein.
But if you stand 15 feet away,
It will become Marilyn Monroe.

Give a try

Girls diary v/s Boys diary

2008-06-23T18:00:00.002+05:30

Girl's Diary VS boy's Diary

HER DIARY

------------------

Day night, I thought he was acting
weird. We had made plans to meet at a
cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends
all day long, soIely thought he was upset at the fact that I
was a bit late,
but he made no comment.Conversation wasn't flowing so

I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but
he kept quiet and absent. I asked
him what was wrong - he said,

"Nothing."I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had
nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept
driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love u,too."

When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.
He just sat there and watched TV.; he seemed distant and absent.Finally I
decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided
that I could not take it anymore,

so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.

I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to
do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.

My life is gonna be a disaster.
_______________________________

HIS DIARY

==========

Today India lost the cricket match
against bangladesh.

DAMN
IT.

M.B.A Student (vs) B.E Student

2008-06-23T07:47:00.001+05:30

M.B.A Student (vs) B.E Student

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition organized in Britain......

A MBA and a BE student go on a camping trip,

set up their tent, and fell asleep.

Some hours later, the BE wakes his MBA friend and says:

"Look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars."

The BE asks, "What does that tell you?"

The MBA ponders for a minute..

"Astronomically speaking,

it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you?"

The BE is silent for a moment, then speaks.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Practically. ..Someone has stolen our tent".

__._,_.___

--
Arun Shivaram.P
Enjoy my mail jokes
at http://funnymailjokes.blogspot.com

IndianZ R Genius!!!

2008-06-23T07:42:00.001+05:30

NOT A STORY BUT A
TRUE INCIDENT

An Indian man walks into a bank in
New York City and asks for the loan officer.
He tells the loan officer that he is going to India on business
for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank
will need some form of security for the loan,
so the Indian man hands over the keys
and documents of new Ferrari parked
on the street in front of the bank.
He produces the title and everything checks out.
The loan officer agrees to accept
the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers
all enjoy a good laugh at the Indian
for using a $250,000 Ferrari
as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then
drives the Ferrari into the bank's
underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Indian returns,
repays the $5,000 and the interest,
which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says,
"Sir, we are very happy to have had your business,
and this transaction has worked out very nicely,
but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away,
we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "$5,000" ?

The Indian replies:

"Where else in New York City can I park my car
for two weeks for only $15.41
and expect it to be there when I return'"

Ah, the mind of the Indian...

This is why India is shining

--
Arun Shivaram.P
Enjoy my mail jokes
at http://funnymailjokes.blogspot.com

LETTER FROM SARDARNI TO HER SON

2008-01-15T17:14:00.001+05:30

Pyare Puttar,

I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there.I'm writing
this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast. We don't live
where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that
most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20miles. I won't
be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the
house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to
change their address.
Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate
here, and that our address will remain same too. This place is really
nice.
It even has a washing machine, situated right above the toilet I'm not
sure it works too well.Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and
haven't seen them since.

The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week.The first
time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.The coat you wanted
me to send you, your Aunt said it would be alittle too heavy to send in
the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in
the pocket.Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is
cutting the grass at the cemetery.By the way I took Bahu to our club's
poolside. The manager is Badmash. He told her that two piece swimming
suit is not allowed in his club. We were confused as to which piece
should we remove?

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a
girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, Jetinder fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him
out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he
burned for three days.

Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill his
father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea
after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a
grave for his father.

There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened. Wanted
to write longer but the envelope is already sealed.

Live long
Your dear mother
Jaswanto

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Arun
Enjoy my mail jokes at
http://feeds.feedburner.com/FunnyMailJokes

ANSWERS PLEASE

2008-01-14T21:48:00.001+05:30

Could you answer these questions???!!!?!?

Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows?
How come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish they tell you to grow up.
If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes?
Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT"
Can you cry under water?
How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billionstars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles?
Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchuppackets?
What shape is the sky?
If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking?
What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea?
Why is it called butter - milk when there is no butter in it nor it is milk ?
Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not arepublic?
Why is it that people duck in the rain, do they really think the rain won't hit them?
Why is there no pine or apple in pineapple?
Why do "cool" and "hot" mean the same thing?
Why can't liquor freeze?
Why do they say "an alarm going off," if it is really going on?
Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light?
Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stucktogether?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
What would you use to dilute water?
How can something be new and improved? if it's new, what was itimproving on?
Why is it good to be a Daddy's girl, but bad to be a Momma's boy?
Why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?
How come thaw and unthaw mean the same thing?
Is a man full of wonder a wonderful man?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made fromvegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
Why is it called lipstick when it always comes off?Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Where does the white go when the snow melts?
Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?
How come the sun makes your skin darker but your hair lighter?
If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?
Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet.
Why is an elevator still called an elevator even when its going down?
Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?
Why is it called eggplant, when there's no egg in it?
Why are boxing rings square?
Does a postman deliver his own mail?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand?
Why is it that lemon soap is made with real lemons, but lemon juice is artificial flavoring?
Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of date next year?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?
Don't you find it worrying that doctors call treating you their "practice" ?
If Dracula has no reflection, how comes he always had such a straight parting in his hair?
If someone can't see, they're blind and if someone cant hear, they're deaf, so what do you call people who can't smell?
Why do they call it your "bottom", when it's really in the middle of your body?
Why do they call it a RUNNING BACK when he is running forward?
Why do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"?
What does OK actually mean?
If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through anything, wouldn't you see through everything and actually see nothing?
Why are you IN a movie, but your ON TV?
Why is it that when we are humming and then we plug our nose, our humming stops? Do people really hum through their nose, or their mouths?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?
Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?
Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in motherin law, they come out to Woman Hitler?
Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
Last but not least for my friend Charlie -Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same numberof letters?

How to catch a Lion..........?

2008-01-14T17:54:00.001+05:30

ØNewton's Method:

Let, the lion catch you.

For every action there is equal and opposite Reaction.
Implies you caught lion.

Ø Einstein Method:

Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.Due
to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run
faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it
easily.

Ø Software Engineer Method:

Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven
that its a Lion. If anyone comes back with issues tell
that you will upgrade it to Lion.

Ø Indian Police Method:

catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to
accept that its a lion.

Ø Rajnikanth Method :

Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack
anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in
fear itself.

Ø Jayalalitha Method:

Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and
kill it, while it's sleeping !

Ø Manirathnam Method (director):

Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the
lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted. Keep
murmuring something in its ears. The lion will be
highly irritated and commit suicide.

Ø Karan Johar Method (director):

Send a lioness into the forest. Our lion and lioness
fall in love with each other. Send another lioness in
to the forest, followed by another lion. First lion
loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the
2nd lioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now
send another

Lioness (third) into the forest. You don't understand
right... ok.... read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont
!

Ø Yash Chopra method (director):

Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a
good scenic location.

Ø Govinda method:

Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.

Ø Menaka Gandhi method:

save the lion from a danger and feed him with some
vegetables continuously.

Ø George bush method:

Link the lion with osama bin laden and shoot him!!!

Ø Ravi Shastri method:

Ask the lion to bowl at u. U bat for 200 balls and
score 1 run

--
Arun
Enjoy my mail jokes at
http://feeds.feedburner.com/FunnyMailJokes

Funny Explanations

2007-12-13T22:10:00.001+05:30

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance : A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse : A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Father : A banker provided by nature.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc .: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead

BUSH IN PRIMARY SCHOOL

2007-11-10T10:02:00.001+05:30

BUSH IN PRIMARY SCHOOL

GEORGE BUSH GOES TO A PRIMARY SCHOOL TO TALK ABOUT THE WAR.

AFTER HIS TALK HE OFFERS

QUESTION TIME.ONE LITTLE BOY PUTS UP HIS HAND AND GEORGE ASKS HIM

WHAT IS YOUR NAME IS.

"BOB".

AND WHAT IS YOUR QUESTION, BOB?

I HAVE 3 QUESTIONS.

FIRST,WHY DID THE USA INVADE IRAQ WITHOUT THE SUPPORT OF THE UN?

SECOND,WHY ARE YOU PRESIDENT WHEN AL GORE GOT MORE VOTES?

AND

THIRD,WHAT HAPPEND TO OSAMA BIN LADEN?

JUST THEN THE BELL RINGS FOR RECESS.

GEORGE BUSH INFORMS THE KIDDIES THAT THEY WILL CONTINUE AFTER RECESS.

WHEN THEY RESUME GEORGE SAY,OK WHERE WERE WE?

OH THAT,S RIGHT..........

QUESTION TIME.

WHO HAS A QUESTION?

A DIFFERENT LITTLE BOY PUTS UP HIS HAND.

GEORGE POINTS HIM OUT AND ASKS HIM WHAT HIS NAME IS?

"STEVE"

AND WHAT IS YOUR QUESTION STEVE?

I HAVE 5 QUESTIONS.

FIRST,WHY DID THE USA INVADE IRAQ WITHOUT THE SUPPORT OF UN?

SECOND,WHY ARE YOU PRESIDENT WHEN AL GORE GOT MORE VOTES?

THIRD,WHAT HAPPENED TO OSAMA BIN LADEN?

FOURTH,WHY DID THE RECESS BELL GO 20 MINUTES EARLY?

AND FIFTH,

WHERE IS "BOB".

--
Arun
Enjoy my mail jokes at
http://feeds.feedburner.com/FunnyMailJokes

Think and solve - interesting!!!!!!!!!

2007-11-08T15:22:00.001+05:30

Don't give it up so easily.

Best of Luck ............ ..

IF
1 = 5
2 = 25
3 = 125
4 = 625
5 = ?

Think.......

Scroll down for Answer

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Answer is 1

Are you thinking too much?
Going off the track?
Do not keep forgetting the history!

Remember the first line? 1=5?

THE MORAL IS ..........

Don't complicate simple problems.... :-) :-) :-)

--
Arun

Punctuation is powerful

2007-11-08T09:08:00.001+05:30

Punctuation is powerful

An English professor wrote the words : "A woman without her man is nothing"

on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.

All of the males in the class wrote : "A woman, without her man, is nothing."

All the females in the class wrote : "A woman: without her, man is nothing."

So to conclude, punctuation is powerful ....

--
Arun

Wrong Mail ....

2007-11-08T09:07:00.001+05:30

A man checked into a hotel in LA. There was a

computer in his room, So he decided to send an e-mail

to his wife. However, he accidentally typed wrong

e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he

sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile.....somewhere in London , a widow had

just returned home from her husband's funeral. The

widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages

from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother

on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've reached

Date: 16 Apr 2004

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They

have computers here now, and you are allowed to send

E-mails to your loved ones. I've just reached and have

been checked in. I see that everything has been

prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your

journey is as uneventful as mine was.

With love

Your ever

Loving Hubby.

Chinese call....

2007-11-08T08:56:00.001+05:30

Good Wan! (Good One!)'

Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan !

Operator : Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You
can speak to me. Who is this?

Caller : I'm Sam Wan . And I need to talk to Annie Wan!
It's urgent.

Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to
anyone ! But what's this urgent matter about?

Caller : Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our
brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident.
Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being
sent to the hospital. Right now , Avery Wan is on his way to the
hospital.

Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to
the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter!
You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I'm Saw Ree .

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry . Now give me your
name!!

Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree ...

Caller: O h .......God!!! !

--
Arun

Sardar at quiz

2007-11-07T23:05:00.001+05:30

1. How long was the 100 year war?
a.116
b.99
c.100
d.150

Sardarji says,"I'll skip this".

2.In which country are the panama hats made?
a.brazil
b.Chile
c.Panama
d.Ecuador

Sardarji says,"Please help me students"

3.In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
a.January
b.September
c.October
d.November

Sardarji says,"Next question please"

4.Which of these is King George VI first name?
a.Eder
b.Albert
c.George
d.Manoel

Sardarji says,"I'll take 50-50"

5.The Canary Islands in the Pacific Ocean has its name based on which animal
a.Canary Bird
b.Kangaroo
c.Puppy
d.Rat

Sardarji gives up!!!

U think Sardarji is a fool? Ofcourz he is a fool. No doubt in that....
What about u?
U know the answers for these questions?
Check out the answers below.................
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1.The hundred year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453.
2.The Panama hats are made in Ecuador
3.The October Revolution is celebrated in November
4.King George's First name is Albert. In 1936, he changed his name
5.Puppy........The latin name of puppy is INSULARIA CANARIA which means islands of the puppies

Now tell me who is a fool???

--
Arun

Clever Blinds

2007-11-07T22:51:00.001+05:30



One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle. The copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with sunglasses. At first, the passengers do not react thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. After a few minutes though, the engines start revving, and the airplane begins moving down the runway. The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness. They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance. Yet, the plane starts accelerating rapidly, and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical. When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once. At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne. Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot: "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we aren't going to know when to take off!"

--
Arun

Country Politics

2007-11-07T21:13:00.001+05:30

	Country Politics

	A busload of politicians was driving down a country road, when suddenly the bus ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's barn. The old farmer got off his tractor and went to investigate. Soon he dug a hole and buried the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus and apsked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone. The old farmer told him he had buried them. The sheriff asked the old farmer, "Lordy, they were ALL dead?" The old farmer said, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them crooked politicians lie."

--
Arun

A Barber's story

2007-11-07T21:11:00.001+05:30

There was a good old barber in Bangalore .

One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the
barber
and the barber replies:
I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am
doing a Community Service.
Florist is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his
shop, there is a "Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at his
door.

A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to
pay the barber he again refuses to take the money. The Confectioner is
happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his
shop, there is another "Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at
his
door.

A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the
barber
again refuses the money saying that it was a community
service.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his
shop, guess what he finds there......

Scroll down for answer... . . . . . . .. . . . ...
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(Believe me it's worth it!!!!!!!!!! )
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A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free
haircut... with Printouts of
Forwarded mail mentioning about free haircut. !!!!!!

--
Arun

"Where does Gmail put all that mail?"

2007-11-07T21:08:00.001+05:30

--
Arun

Jokes on Marriage

2007-11-07T20:57:00.001+05:30

* Q: Why do women live longer than men?

A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

*Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u.

* Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

* Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

* Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

* Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

* It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

* It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives !

* A man who surrenders when he's wrong, is Honest. A man who surrenders when not Sure, is Wise. A man who surrenders even if he's Right, is a Husband.

* If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day

* Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.

--
Arun

cool jokes

2007-10-26T17:46:00.001+05:30

	The Test

	A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test. The engineer went in first and was asked, ''''What is 2+2?'''' The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, ''''4.'''' Then the mathemetician was called in and was asked the same question. With little thought he replied, ''''4.0'''' Then the lawyer was called in, and was asked the same question. The lawyer answered even quicker than the mathematician, ''''What do you want it to be?''''

--
Arun

Mom's fear

2007-10-26T17:45:00.001+05:30

rani: U know mam, my mother fears a lot while crossing a road!

teacher: How do U know that?

rani: Becoz, she holds my hand while crossing!

--
Arun

why india is in trouble??Why India is in trouble??

2007-10-26T17:29:00.001+05:30

Why India is in trouble??

POPULATION :100 crore

9 crore retired

30 crore in state Govt

17 crore in central Govt

(Both Category don't work)

1 crore IT professional (don't work for India)

25 crore in school

1 crore r under 5 years

15 crore unemployed

1.2 crore u can find anytime in hospitals

Statistics says u find 79,99,998 people anytime in jail

The Balance two are U & Me.

U are busy " checking E Mails /sending fwds.. "..!!

HOW CAN I HANDLE INDIA alone?

--
Arun