Funnybone Advice

Reason Why Corrective Laser Eye Surgery Is Important

2010-05-06T17:45:00.001-07:00

Casino Tipping

2010-05-02T22:48:00.000-07:00

As a Blackjack Dealer, I rely on tips as my main source of income. Actually, my hourly wage is well below the minimum wage requirements. My main goal in this article is help people understand that, YES, YOU CAN TIP YOUR CARD DEALER. Every casino has its' own policies regarding tokes, but I do not know any casino that disallows tipping.

At my place of employment, the dealers share tokes. This has its' advantages, as well as disadvantages. There are several ways to tip a dealer. A tip can simply be tossed to the dealer and declared a tip. Some people like to "play" for the dealer. This involves playing a checque next to the blackjack bet. If the player wins, so does the dealer. On the other hand, if the player loses, the dealer's toke is lost and goes to the house. It is up to the player on if and how to tip.

Dealers appreciate every dollar that is given to them. Many players have no idea how to tip a dealer. The general rule is tip in the beginning, during play, and after you have stopped the game. LOL... It is never too late to tip. Happy Blackjack!!!!

Answers to Riddles

2010-04-28T16:33:00.001-07:00

Answers

1. Mark is the priest that performed the marriage services.
2. He said, "You'll sentence me to six years in prison." If it was true, then the judge would have to make it false by sentencing him to four years. If it was false, then he would have to give him six years, which would make it true. Rather than contradict his own word, the judge set the man free.
3. Queue.
4. A postage stamp

Riddles

2010-04-28T16:28:00.000-07:00

1. How did Mark legally marry three women in Ohio, without divorcing any of them, becoming legally separated, or any of them dying?

2. A man was to be sentenced, and the judge told him, "You may make a statement. If it is true, I'll sentence you to four years in prison. If it is false, I'll sentence you to six years in prison." After the man made his statement, the judge decided to let him go free. What did the man say?

3. What English word retains the same pronunciation, even after you take away four of its five letters?

4. What can travel around the world while staying in a corner?

ANSWERS IN NEXT POST

Laughter at the Emergency Room

2010-04-25T13:05:00.000-07:00

Recently, I had to visit the emergency room at the local hospital. As I was in my cubicle with curtains drawn, I heard a man next to me in tremendous pain. He was wailing very loud and it was obvious his pain was unbearable. As I laid there and listened, I knew there were a group of men that had brought him in to the ER. The doctor went in to attend to him and I heard the patient say "I would shake your hand, but I'm holding my balls." The doctor responded, "I need to put your pants down, is it ok that everyone is in here?" The group of men said "Yes, we are all Army brothers." A few more minutes went by, and the doctor left. A nurse went in later and I heard "Don't want to shake that hand..." I know that this man was in pain, but from my perspective, it was alot of balls, wind and fire....The next thing that I overheard almost brought tears to my eyes. The patient was in so much pain, he began crying. The Army men consoled him with the most tender, loving words. I never knew men could be so outwardly loving to another man. They assured the man that he would be ok and that they would stand by his side. And the last thing I heard was "We just met, but we are brothers." God Bless the Soldiers!!!

Man on mower charged with DUI, fishing pole theft

2010-04-14T19:13:00.000-07:00

ATHENS, Tenn. - An East Tennessee man driving a lawn mower in the road has been charged with DUI. Athens police said 30-year-old Jimmy Graham Jr. smelled like alcohol and failed a sobriety test Monday after an officer spotted him on the lawn mower. He told the officer he had consumed a beer and taken a stress reliever prescribed to him.

A jailer said Graham was in custody Tuesday and there was no record of him having a lawyer.

The Daily Post-Athenian in Athens reported that Graham was also charged with aggravated burglary and theft under $500.

A police report shows Graham told the officer he had stopped by a house to pick up some fishing poles. Police said the man who lives at the house where Graham had stopped on the mower told police the fishing poles were stolen from his garage.

___

Information from: The Daily Post-Athenian, http://dpa.xtn.net

Copyright 2010 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

And I thought next time I had a few too many, I'd just take a mower!!!! Guess Not!!!!

Lift My Face!!!

2010-04-08T19:27:00.000-07:00

I accompanied a friend to the Lifelift place in Albuquerque, NM yesterday. It's absolutely amazing what they can do nowadays. There was an 80 year old woman getting a face lift. Guess you're never too old to look younger. I suppose it would be nice looking 20 years younger when I lay in my coffin so friends that are viewing me don't think I look bad. But, when I'm dead, who really cares. My friend had to watch a video on the technique, and ran out of time before she could consult with the doctor. No doubt she would have signed her life away, and make 500 dollar payments for who knows how long. The surgery itself only takes an hour and is on an outpatient basis. A few cuts and slits and you're out looking beautiful again. I am amazed how many people hate the way they look. God must be laughing at us all....It's true, years bring gravity and all...but not to worry...for the cost of a house payment, you can look younger again. And who said the economy was bad?

A Day In The Life Of A Blackjack Dealer

2010-03-31T21:15:00.000-07:00

I returned to work after a lengthy illness a few weeks ago. Many would think that dealing Blackjack for a living is not a real job. Well, I'm sure my parents are not so thrilled with the idea after spending money on my college degree. The truth is that I make more money dealing as a living than I can using my degree which is as a Social Worker. That's really sad if you think about it. Counting to 21 is not that hard, but there are many other things that are needed to excell as a Blackjack Dealer. There are numerous policies and procedures to follow, and you have to like people. There are always people in your face, many negative about losing all their money. That's why it's called gambling, right? It always amazes me how angry people get when they lose their money. I get screamed at for their losses...Noone forced them to keep playing!!! Sometimes it gets hard dealing with people, and you have to somehow suppress your feelings of just wanting to slap somebody. But, in general, dealing is not bad. It's a great way to make money, considering some of the other alternatives. I have been dealing for a year now, and sometimes I can't believe that someone as dingy as me can actually do it. But, it is ok for now, and I pray that people continue to gamble, at least responsibly, anyway. And for those of you that like a game of Blackjack, please remember that the dealer has no control of the cards, and no matter how it seems, we do not suddenly pull that card that makes you lose. It isn't my money, so why wouldn't I want you to win??? Good luck at the tables!!!

http://www.typeupsidedown.com/

2010-03-31T21:07:00.000-07:00

http://www.typeupsidedown.com/

Affordable Eye Wear At Zenni Optical

2010-03-23T16:38:00.000-07:00

I have been wearing the same prescription glasses for 3 years now. It's not that my prescription has remained the same these last few years, but that I have not had the money for new glasses. Glasses are expensive, and although they are a necessity for us blind folks, I keep putting my purchase off, waiting for the time I might have extra money. As I was surfing the internet the other day, I ran across eyeglasses at Zenni Optical, a place that offers quality and affordable eyeglasses. I was actually shocked at the low prices.

Eyeglasses at Zenni Optical has prescription eyeglasses starting as low as $8.00. That's right, just 8 bucks for a pair of glasses, including lens. The same style of glasses would cost me at least $100.00 some where else. There is extra charges for bifocals, thicker lenses, and anti-glare coatings, but not all that much. You can still get a pair of prescription glasses for $40.00 and under. Where else can you find this kind of deal. I can actually afford several pairs now which will allow me a stylish change whenever I want. This is truely amazing.

In order to take advantage of these great deals, simply check out eyeglasses at Zenni Optical and pick out the frames of your choice. There are many styles and colors available. You will need a prescription from an eye doctor as well as your Pupillary Distance (PD). The PD is needed in order to correctly position the center of the lens. Make sure to ask your eye doctor for the PD during your exam. Once you have your prescription and PD, and have chosen which frames you want, you are ready to order. There is a check out on the website and a window for you to put in your prescription and PD. Make sure all the information is correct before finishing checkout. Shipping cost only $4.95, regardless of quantity. It takes about 2 weeks to get your glasses.

Before ordering, I checked out a review of Zenni Optical at http://examiner.com which further helped me with my decision to purchase eyewear from them. I am so pleased that I found out about this company. Buying eyeglasses is no longer a dreadful moment for me. It is possible to get quality eyewear at low costs. I can't wait to show off my new frames, and better yet, to see clearly again.

Debt Collectors

2010-03-17T19:00:00.000-07:00

Being a debt collector has got to be the worst job there is. I know I have had a lot of calls from them lately. They call, I say I don't have money and so forth. Then, they call 2 minutes later...do they really think I somehow won the lottery that fast? It's amazing how often they keep calling-as if my situation has changed so fast. My hats off to you guys, but my pocketbook is still empty!!!!

Promotional Products at Lowe Promotions

2010-03-12T12:27:00.000-08:00

The other day I was searching for promotional products to boost my business. It seems like when someone sees your logo over and over they seem to buy your products. Finding the right products to boost sales is the key to successful sales. I wanted something unusual instead of the usual pens and pencils.

I finally found the right Promotional Products. This company has anything and everything you could think of as a way to promote your business. They have mugs, USB drives, T-shirts, automotive accessories, and much more. My favorite is the edible stuff including popcorn, candy, coffee, and tea. Who doesn't like these things? If you can eat it, then maybe you will be remembered. This company has been in business for over 20 years. If they do not have what you are looking for, they will get it for you.

If you are looking for the perfect give away product to promote your business, check out the above website. There is no better way to advertise than giving away products with your logo branded on them. Everyone will remember who you are and what your company represents. These products also make great gifts to show employee appreciation.

Stupid People Doing Stupid Things

2010-03-10T19:16:00.000-08:00

Making Money From Your Website

2010-03-09T14:12:00.001-08:00

Kickin Life

Shame On You Presidents!!!!

2010-03-03T18:36:00.000-08:00

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

The Three Stooges- Is It Spring Yet?

2010-03-03T18:12:00.000-08:00

These three a ready for Spring!!!!

2010-03-01T15:00:00.001-08:00

What Medications to Avoid If You Have a Sulfa Allergy
What You Should Know If You Have A Sulfa Allergy
Read More

The Queens Rule!!!!

2010-02-28T21:15:00.000-08:00

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Funny News Bloopers

2010-02-27T20:53:00.000-08:00

How About Some Red Bull?

2010-02-27T15:57:00.001-08:00

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Super Mario 64 | Play Games @ Flashdriven.com

2010-02-25T21:21:00.000-08:00

Super Mario 64 | Play Games @ Flashdriven.com

2010-02-24T18:18:00.001-08:00

Epilepsy/Seizure Working Dogs
A look at how service dogs are trained to help people with seizures, and what exactly these dogs can do.
Read More

2010-02-24T18:10:00.001-08:00

Riverbend Hot Springs in Truth or Consequences, NM
My reflection on my visit to Riverbend Hotsprings. A review and information on the lodging and mineral baths located at the facility.
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Woman Trades Children for a Bird

2010-02-24T15:32:00.000-08:00

Woman admits selling 2 kids for 1 bird, $175
52-year-old Louisiana resident sentenced to 15 months of hard labor

VILLE PLATTE, La. - A Louisiana woman has pleaded guilty to selling two children for a cockatoo and $175 in what her attorney called an attempt to do a good thing that went wrong.

"It was a really clumsy attempt at an adoption proceeding," said Steve Sikich, attorney for Donna Louise Greenwell of Pitkin. "She was trying to help the children and get them situated."

Greenwell, 53, was sentenced Monday to 15 months of hard labor on each of two criminal counts: sale of a minor. The sentences are to run concurrently.

Children for a bird!!! That's why I never had children. But for a bird???? Come on now, how stupid can you be?????

2010-02-24T15:20:00.001-08:00

Guide to Ruidoso, NM Lodging
A guide to different hotels, motels, and cabins in the Ruidoso, NM area.
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