FUNNYnator

iPhone v. Android v. Blackberry

noreply@blogger.com (mf) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 07:29:00 +0000

from csectioncomics

Which Underwear Should I Wear Today?

noreply@blogger.com (mf) — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 22:28:00 +0000

from csectioncomics

How Women Decide

How Men Decide

Julian Assange v. Mark Zuckerberg

noreply@blogger.com (mf) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 22:37:00 +0000

What Should I do to Marry A Rich Guy?

noreply@blogger.com (MJ) — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 19:44:00 +0000

A Philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan

A young 'n pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style 'n good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.

You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.

My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?

I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?

Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, 'n it seems that this is my upper limit.

If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden (?), $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names 'n addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)

2) Which age group should I target?

3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I've met a few girls who don't have looks 'n are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.

4) How do you decide who can be your wife, 'n who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty

A Philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.

My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" 'n "money" : Person A provides beauty, 'n Person B pays for it, fair 'n square.

However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year.

Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, 'n you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position".

If the trade value dropped we will sell it 'n it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".

Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. 'n by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me.

signed,

J.P. Morgan CEO...

An American Drone

noreply@blogger.com (MJ) — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 18:48:00 +0000

by Jay Leno
Iran is now in possession of an American drone. When I heard that, I said, "Oh my god! They captured Joe Biden!"

The Six Girls You'll Date in College

noreply@blogger.com (MJ) — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 05:56:00 +0000

Erection Juices???

noreply@blogger.com (MJ) — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 03:55:00 +0000

Bellydance Party

noreply@blogger.com (MJ) — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 03:49:00 +0000

Fun on a Budget

noreply@blogger.com (MJ) — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 20:45:00 +0000

Luxury Boat Trips

noreply@blogger.com (MJ) — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 20:40:00 +0000

Another Supid Sign

noreply@blogger.com (MJ) — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 19:22:00 +0000

Toilet

noreply@blogger.com (MJ) — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 19:15:00 +0000

That Might Make Them Sick

noreply@blogger.com (MJ) — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 22:03:00 +0000

Do NOT Walk on Grass

noreply@blogger.com (MJ) — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 21:55:00 +0000

Test Your Eyes

noreply@blogger.com (MJ) — Sun, 28 Aug 2011 04:52:00 +0000

Happy and Sad Dick

noreply@blogger.com (MJ) — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 21:06:00 +0000

A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology and explaining the phenomenon of "mixed emotion." The husband turned to his wife and said, "Honey, that is bullshit. I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time."

She looked at him and said, "Out of all your friends, you have the biggest dick!"

A Priceless Wedding Invitation From the Mother of the Groom

noreply@blogger.com (MJ) — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 19:57:00 +0000

The photo below tells the rest of the story ....

Side of the Road

noreply@blogger.com (MJ) — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 17:31:00 +0000

Close the Gate

noreply@blogger.com (MJ) — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 17:26:00 +0000

Attention: Don't Forget Your Teeth

noreply@blogger.com (MJ) — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 00:51:00 +0000

Fairyland

noreply@blogger.com (MJ) — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 00:48:00 +0000

Cake or Bed

noreply@blogger.com (MJ) — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 17:54:00 +0000

A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts. "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now."

He looks at her and says angrily, " Fix the lights now? Does it look like I have Energex written on my forehead? I don't think so."

"Fine," she said.

Then the wife asks, " Could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right.'

To which he replied, fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have Westinghouse written on my forehead? I don't think so. "

"Fine," she says.

"Then could you at least fix the steps to the front door? They are about to break."

"I am not a carpenter and I don't want to fix steps," he says. "Does it look like I have Bunnings written on my forehead? I don't think so."

"I have had enough of you. I am going to the pub!!!"

So he goes to the pub and drinks for a couple of hours. He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home. As he walks into the house, he notices that the steps are already fixed. As he enters the house, he sees the halllight is working. As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed.

"Honey," he asks, "how'd all this get fixed?"

She said, "Well, when you left, I sat outside and cried. Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either to go to bed with him or bake a cake.

He said, " So, what kind of cake did you bake?"

She replied, "Hellooooo??!!! Do you see Sara Lee written on my forehead? I don't think so!"

Adult Channel or Fishing?

noreply@blogger.com (MJ) — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 05:06:00 +0000

An old married couple was at home watching TV.
The husband had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel.
The wife became more and more annoyed and finally said:
"For god's sake! Leave it on the porn channel.
You already know how to fish!!!"

I am Naked

noreply@blogger.com (MJ) — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 02:14:00 +0000

Celebrity Question

noreply@blogger.com (MJ) — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 18:25:00 +0000

from Yahoo Questions

Q: Is it me, or Does Gerard Butler look worn out?

A: It's all the sword swingin' and time travelin'. After battling Persians, English knights, and the Roman Empire, one would get a little worn out.. :)