fwdmail2me

If you don‘t like your job, just be glad that …

admin — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 09:30:50 +0000

You are not an Electrician in China …

… or a plumber in Hungary …

… or a delivery service employee in Asia …

… or a Zoo keeper in America …

… or a deodorant tester in Germany …

… or a Ditch Digger in Poland …

… or what is really a shitty job …… a mobile toilet !

Just be thankful for your job ! And now hurry back to your job !

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helpful-post-office-workers

admin — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 15:07:58 +0000

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.

One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.

The letter read:

Dear God,

I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.

Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had “$100″ in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment.

Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?

Sincerely, Edna

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars.

By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.

The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

Christmas came and went.

A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.

All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.

It read:

Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?

Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.

By the way, there was $4 missing.

I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.

Sincerely, Edna

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Cycle of life: Play wise, play fool to achieve your goal

admin — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 02:18:09 +0000

]There once lived a great mathematician in a village outside Ujjain. He was often called by the local king to advice on matters related to the economy. His reputation had spread as far as Taxila in the North and Kanchi in the South. So it hurt him very much when the village headman told him, “You may be a great mathematician who advises the king on economic matters but your son does not know the value of gold or silver.”

The mathematician called his son and asked, “What is more valuable – gold or silver?” “Gold,” said the son. “That is correct. Why is it then that the village headman makes fun of you, claims you do not know the value of gold or silver? He teases me every day. He mocks me before other village elders as a father who neglects his son. This hurts me. I feel everyone in the village is laughing behind my back because you do not know what is more valuable, gold or silver. Explain this to me, son.”

So the son of the mathematician told his father the reason why the village headman carried this impression. “Every day on my way to school, the village headman calls me to his house. There, in front of all village elders, he holds out a silver coin in one hand and a gold coin in other. He asks me to pick up the more valuable coin. I pick the silver coin. He laughs, the elders jeer, everyone makes fun of me. And then I go to school. This happens every day. That is why they tell you I do not know the value of gold or silver.”

The father was confused. His son knew the value of gold and silver, and yet when asked to choose between a gold coin and silver coin always picked the silver coin. “Why don’t you pick up the gold coin?” he asked. In response, the son took the father to his room and showed him a box. In the box were at least a hundred silver coins. Turning to his father, the mathematician’s son said, “The day I pick up the gold coin the game will stop. They will stop having fun and I will stop making money.”

Sometimes in life, we have to play the fool because our seniors and our peers, and sometimes even our juniors like it. That does not mean we lose in the game of life. It just means allowing others to win in one arena of the game, while we win in the other arena of the game. We have to choose which arena matters to us and which arenas do not.
[source: http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/articleshow/6034358.cms]

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Organization chart

admin — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 16:42:37 +0000

if
you cant read, i’ll type it down..
“When top level guys
look down, they see only shit. When bottom level guys look up, they see
only assholes”
hahaha.
it’s an organisation chart.
in
reality, it happens.

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Stress management – A Lovely Story

admin — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 23:59:33 +0000

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised

a glass of water and asked,
“how heavy is this glass of water? ”

Answers
called out ranged from 20g to 500g.
The lecturer replied,
“The absolute weight doesn’t matter.
It depends on how long you try to hold it.

“If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour,
I’ll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day,

you’ll have to call an ambulance.
“In each case, it’s the same weight,
but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes. ”

He continued,
“And that’s the way it is with stress management.
If we carry our burdens all the time,
sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy,
we won’t be able to carry on. ”

“As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and
rest before holding it again.
When we’re refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. ”
“So, before you go to bed tonight, put the burden of work down.

Don’t carry it on your bed.
You can pick it up tomorrow.
Whatever burdens you’re carrying now,
let them down for a moment if you can. ”

“Relax; pick them up later after you’ve rested.
Life is short.
Enjoy it!

And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

* Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the
statue.
* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat
them.
* Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the
middle of it.
* Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their
maker.
* If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
* If you lend someone Rs.200 and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it.
* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
warning to others.
* Never buy a car you can’t push.
* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you
won’t have a leg to stand on.
* Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
* Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
* The second mouse gets the cheese.
* When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
* You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world
to one person.
* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once
* We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and
some are dull some have weird names, and all are different colors, but
they all have to live in the same box.

“A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour

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Prison Help!

admin — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 23:45:44 +0000

An old man lived alone in Minnesota. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation:

Dear Son,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I wont be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden because your mother always loved planting time. Im just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you werent in prison.
Love,Dad

Shortly, the old man received this telegram: For Heavens sake, Dad, dont dig up the garden!! Thats where I buried the GUNS!!

At 4 a.m. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what had happened, and asked him what to do next.

His sons reply was: Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad. Its the best I could do for you, from here.

MORAL:
NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART, YOU CAN DO IT.
IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT MATTERS, NOT WHERE YOU ARE OR WHERE THE PERSON IS

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Charles Schultz Philosophy

admin — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 08:24:00 +0000

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz , the creator of the “Peanuts” comic strip. You don’t have to actually answer the questions. Just read the e-mail straight through, and you’ll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world .

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America Contest.

4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. They are not second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school…

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?
I love this!

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are NOT the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones who care.

Share this with those who have made a difference in your life. [By sharing it on facebook as easy as clicking a button]
I just did!

“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today.
It’s already tomorrow in Australia …”
Charles Schultz

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Stop Comparing Yourself – Dive Into Your Own Sweet Life!

admin — Fri, 21 May 2010 07:33:11 +0000

Stop Comparing Yourself – Dive Into Your Own Sweet Life!

by Tama J. Kieves…

Some years ago, I sat at this wedding and met a younger woman who had gone to two Ivy League schools and had a masters and a doctorate and had run marathons and traveled in countries like Cambodia and Vietnam. Not only that, but she was strikingly pretty, could belt out Hip Hop at the karaoke bar, had a disarming sense of humor and a sweet husband with buckets of money. Clearly, she’d gotten quite the package deal from the Big Cosmic Travel Agent in the sky. The encounter made me want to run home and win a Nobel Peace prize or at least clean up my basement.Where had my time gone? Why hadn’t I achieved more with my life?

“Let’s keep in touch,” she said breezily, as the evening ended. And I thought to myself that could get expensive for me, what with the therapy bills and all.

Comparison is such a nasty business. A complete stranger could stir up a hornet’s nest in me, just by being impertinently flawless and sitting next to me with good perfume. In the wisdom tradition of A Course in Miracles, it says, “Love makes no comparisons.” It says this, not because that’s a nice thing to do, but because comparison is impossible. We don’t know the journey someone else is on. We don’t know the journey we’re on. We don’t know the miracles that are right in front of us, when we choose to enter our current lives with no regrets and no holding back.

“I should have done more with my life by now,” is a comment I often hear from clients. They are filled with comparisons, regrets and wisps of dreams that tempt and sting them. They come home from work barren and restless. They have survived on autopilot and “survival” costs them peace of mind. They want sweeter days. They yearn for accomplishments that reverberate in their soul. But here’s the real secret. They don’t regret their past. They regret their present.

You only regret the past when you’re not in love with the moment before you. Change this moment, and you change how you feel about everything. You can’t be in the wrong life…if you’re in an enchanted moment.

Comparison will cost you enchantment. When I strain to see my neighbor’s garden, I’ve taken my eyes off my own. “My God, look at the size of those roses,” I despair, while my patch of land withers with neglect. Nothing grows without attention and love. Likewise, nothing remains the same when offered love and attention.

Want to live a life of no regrets, no matter what choices you’ve made in the past? Make these choices right now. Keep your eyes on your own roses and tend them with every thing you have. Plunge into accepting and blessing your own unique circumstances. Take a small step, a big step, a holy step in the direction that calls you right now. Trust that you are not alone and that you will have what you absolutely need. Diving into this moment with integrity answers everything. There is no past or future. There are no other choices. It doesn’t matter what anyone else has. You have this unbelievable moment.

About the Author:
Tama J. Kieves is an honors graduate of Harvard Law School who left her practice with a large corporate law firm to write and to embolden others to live their most fulfilling lives. She is the bestselling author of THIS TIME I DANCE! Creating the Work You Love and is a sought-after speaker and career coach who has helped thousands world-wide to discover and live their creative dreams. Visit her at http://www.ThisTimeIDance.com and sign up for free inspiration and support through her monthly e-newsletter. Download her Free Report on “Finding Your Calling Now.”

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tama_J._Kieves

http://EzineArticles.com/?Stop-Comparing-Yourself—Dive-Into-Your-Own-Sweet-Life!&id=2611362

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Nice one to forward to your friends

admin — Fri, 14 May 2010 03:52:00 +0000

God
knew that everyone needs
Companionship and cheer,
He knew that
people need someone
Whose thoughts are always near.

He
knew they need someone kind
To lend a helping hand.
Someone to
gladly take the time
To care and understand.

God
knew that we all need someone
To share each happy day,
To be a
source of courage
When troubles come our way.

Someone
to be true to us,
Whether near or far apart.
Someone whose love
we’ll always
Hold and treasure in our hearts.

That’s
Why GOD Gave Us Friends!

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Cancelling Your Credit Card

admin — Thu, 13 May 2010 11:09:00 +0000

Cancel your credit card before you
die……….(hilarious!)

Now some people are really stupid!!!!

Be sure and cancel your
credit cards before you die.

This is so priceless, and so, so
easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.

A
lady died this past January, and bank billed her for February and
March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added
late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00
when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a
call to bank.

Here is the exchange :

Family Member: ‘I am
calling to tell you she died back in January.’
bank: ‘The account
was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.’
Family
Member: ‘Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.’
bank: ‘Since it is two months past due, it already has been’
Family
Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?’
bank:
‘Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the
credit bureau, maybe both!’
Family Member: ‘Do you think God will be mad at her?’
bank:
‘Excuse me?’
Family Member: ‘Did you just get what I was telling you -
the part about her being dead?’
bank: ‘Sir, you’ll have to speak
to my supervisor.’

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family
Member: ‘I’m calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0
balance.’
bank: ‘The account was never closed and late fees and
charges still apply.’
Family Member: ‘You mean you want to collect from her estate?’
bank:
(Stammer) ‘Are you her lawyer?’
Family Member: ‘No, I’m her great
nephew.’ (Lawyer info was given)
bank: ‘Could you fax us a
certificate of death?’
Family Member: ‘Sure.’ (Fax number was given )

After they
get the fax :

bank: ‘Our system just isn’t setup for
death. I don’t know what more I can do to help.’
Family Member:
‘Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing
her. She won’t care.’
bank: ‘Well, the late fees and charges will still apply.’
(What
is wrong with these people?!?)
Family Member: ‘Would you like her new
billing address?’
bank: ‘That might help..’
Family Member: ‘Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69.’
bank:
‘Sir, that’s a cemetery!’
Family Member: ‘And what do you do with
dead people on your planet???’

Priceless!! Have you wondered why BAnks are going broke and need the feds
to bail them out!!

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Inspiring office and rules?