G-Strings and Stilettos

2005 Part 2 The Platinum Hip Check

2012-03-08T12:00:00.001-08:00

Editor’s Note: The 2005 series are not going to be posted in chronological order. This chapter takes place about four or five months after the events of Part I. It is written with the assumption that you have read it. If you have not, it can be found here.

This post will serve two purposes. First and foremost it’s an anecdote about a pretty funny moment from my career, and secondly, it will outline a pretty slick way to get rid of an unwanted customer.

The Airport Déjà Vu under the command of Nick was a lot of things, some good and some bad. One of the good things was that for the first time in recent memory the club was profitable. You have to realize that when I was initially hired by Airport, they had a girl count of around 12… literally. It wasn’t until the fall of its closest rival Club Ecstasy that we started to see that number rise. My original stint with the club was as you know, as the dayshift DJ. Working on dayshift is sort of like having a normal job. You get up in the mornings and it’s still daylight when you are heading home… usually.

The only way I could tell how the night shift did was by the DJ’s logs that we all filled out. (I told you, old school) At that time, it wasn’t unheard of for the dayshift to beat the nightshifts numbers. When Nick took over, all of this changed. It’s hard to explain everything he did to help turn things around, but it was as if he brought an air of hard-nosed discipline, and reckless abandon all at the same time. It was very impressive to say the least. Nick didn’t care what state of mind you were in while at work, so long as you did your job. I dug the shit out of that.

Most days were spent in some state of heavy inebriation. This as you could imagine affected pretty much all of our decisions, for better or worse, in one way or another. During this time period four people had pretty much free reign to do as they pleased at work. Obviously Nick, and myself were two of them. The third was our floor guy, who’s name was (and still is) Chris. We called him “Goober” Chris, because he was… well, a goober. Deep down he is a solid dude, but he is an enormous prick, a mid level dork, and a stage five kiss ass. Another appropriate verbiage to use would be to call him a tool. He takes some getting used to, but for some reason he grows on you.

The fourth, and this is the important one was a showgirl named Platinum. Most of you will have no idea who she is, as she stopped dancing several years ago. Some of your more senior managers will remember her, but not many. She was a slender red head that stood about 5’-7”. At the time she was by far Airports hottest stripper. Amazingly she earned this status not by sleeping with a person of power, but by being an awesome person to work with. Far too few a showgirl knows this is a significantly better way to get what you want all the time. Even fewer can pull it off.

Nick, Platinum, and I were pretty consistent drinking buddies, on and off the clock. There were several occasions where Platinum and I spent an entire shift at Trudy’s, and Nick walked back and forth to make sure the club didn’t burn down, or something else equally terrible. One day after spending several hours at Trudy’s, Platinum and I decided we should probably spend at least some time actually working. Seeing as how I was on the clock the entire time, and she had some bills to pay besides her half of the bar tab.

When we got back inside, I took my usual spot behind the bar, and Platinum went to the dressing room to get dressed. Or undressed… or is it undressing to get dressed into something that’s easier to undress? Whatever, fuck you. Anyway, when she was done doing whatever it was she does in there, she came back out to the bar where I still was. Another dancer named Chasity was standing with me complaining about a customer that was not only wearing sweatpants, was also soliciting every girl in the club to do whatever lurid sex act they were willing to charge him for.

Platinum immediately suggested that Chasity “accidentally” spill a drink on him. This in theory would force the guy to leave. Chasity was unsure how she could do such a thing and still make it appear “accidental.” Platinum in her quick thinking yet highly intoxicated state came up with a brilliant plan. Brilliant in its infallible simplicity, and also in what became its execution.

The plan was to have Chasity holding a large ladies drink glass filled with soda and ice go up to the customer and make some small talk with him. As she stood in front of the customer Platinum was to walk behind her in the narrow isle, and give her a bit of a nudge with her hips, which in turn would cause Chasity to spill the drink on the customer. It sounded damn good to me, as from my vantage point at the bar gave me an outstanding view of what was about to happen.

I wasted no time filling up the glass, and handing it to Chasity with near school girl giddiness. She was mildly apprehensive all of a sudden when we were so eager to make this plan happen. This however didn’t last long, and Chasity made the short trip to where the customer was sitting.

As planned she stood directly in front of the mark, and held her ladies drink casually at her chest. As she bull-shitted for about .45 seconds or so Platinum started her walk through the narrow isle where she delivered the needed hip bump in order to spill the drink. However as mentioned before Platinum, like me was trashed. Instead of the tiny little nudge that was needed, she calmly walked behind skinny little Chasity, and delivered what is now known (in certain circles) as “The Platinum Hip Check”. This sent Chasity and her beverage pretty much right through the customer knocking him to the ground. Yes the drink was successfully spilled on him, but since she wasn’t expecting nearly as hard a shove as what she got, she let out a pretty solid scream which killed any chance of hiding its intentional nature. Also a good portion of the drink got on Chasity too, which was unfortunate.

The customer was pissed to say the least, and was cussing everyone in the building as he was on his way out the door. Especially me since I was laughing hysterically from the moment the hip touched down, till several minutes after he left. Nick heard something and came out of his office to see what the deal was. Just in time to see the guy breeze past him, and me laughing and pointing in the front doors general direction. Platinum trying really hard not to laugh, and Chasity standing next to her drenched with soda to the point her and Platinum had to do a shower show just to clean it off [winning!]

It took me a couple minutes to calm down, but Nick was not pissed about any of it once I told him what happened. Like I said, I had free reign… it rocked.

To be continued…

Here are the Brackets

2012-03-05T00:23:00.000-08:00

March Madness Round 1A

2012-03-04T23:04:00.000-08:00

Anya vs. Dylan

Anya

Dylan

March Madness Round 1A

2012-03-04T23:00:00.000-08:00

Vega vs. McKenzie

Vega

McKenzie

March Madness Round 1A

2012-03-04T22:56:00.002-08:00

Skyy vs. Paris

Skyy

Paris

March Madness Round 1A

2012-03-04T22:49:00.000-08:00

Ruby vs. Angel

Ruby

Angel

The Peoples Response to Anya (Reader Submission)

2012-03-04T22:33:00.000-08:00

(Reader)Dear James

Anya not only has indeed given head in the VIPs but the amount of drugs is the part I find the funniest that she denied. Past co workers can tell you that she starts off her nights snorting Percs and then finishes off the night with a few lines of coke. Anya has told people that she has "trusted" in her inner circle that she has on more that one occasion given blow jobs in the VIPs. So for the right price Anya will gladly blow a stranger. She is a very high priced hooker.

If Anya wants to deny the simple truths that face her, she has more issues than I thought. she might as well own up to it and get it over with.

JH: If this is true, then its a little disappointing. I can't hate to much because I did my fair share of drugs when working in the business. But I learned to stop. As a stripper, if you choose to spend your time working in a club to buy drugs, and prostitute yourself, then you will become a tired old good for nothing broke ass stripper/whore. You should treat this business as a means to an end, and form a solid exit strategy. Its OK to have fun, but don't lose your self respect in the process.

Updated Pix and Response from Anya @ Ricks

2012-03-04T20:09:00.000-08:00

Anya: I think your blog is wonderful and I cannot express the flattery I feel for being nominated in your March Madness. In response to those that commented that I "give blow jobs in the champagne room" I only say this:

Simply because you don't understand why someone would be attracted to me enough to pay for my company is no reason to post slanderous lies on the internet. There are a number of reasons why someone wouldn't like me...my attitude, my music choices or just my face, however, none of those characteristics translates into sexual favors in the VIP. If you don't like me and feel the need to talk about it (even on the fucking internet) I understand, but I hope you know when you spread lies about the manner in which I conduct my business no one looks uglier or trashier than you.

XOXO Anya
P.S. If you ask, I WILL get on ya ;]

JH: Don't let it get to you Anya... haters gunna hate.

March Madness Round 1A

2012-03-04T19:52:00.000-08:00

Kellie vs. Gia

Kellie

Gia

March Madness Round 1A

2012-03-04T19:46:00.001-08:00

Coco vs. Ciarra

Coco

Ciarra

March Madness Round 1A

2012-03-04T19:39:00.000-08:00

Sierra vs. Precious

Sierra

Precious

March Madness Round 1A

2012-03-04T19:31:00.000-08:00

Rosa vs Ashley

Rosa

Ashley

March Madness Round 1A

2012-03-04T19:11:00.002-08:00

Samantha vs Irene

Samantha

Irene

March Madness Round 1A

2012-03-04T18:59:00.003-08:00

Well kids the day you've all been waiting for is finally here. Round 1 of the G-Strings & Stilettos March Madness Tournament of Champions is now officially underway. The brackets have been filled at random. The first round will be split into two preliminary rounds because of the odd number of contestants. After which point we will continue on like a normal tournament.

Voting can only be done on this poll... votes are limited to once per day. For the moment I have no control over this, but I'm working on it.

No more BS. Good luck to everyone!

Riot vs. Serenity

Riot

Serenity

Rumor (Reader Submission)

2012-03-04T16:50:00.000-08:00

(Reader) Heard a rumour today that lily at first and pike winner of show girls of the yer contest got preggers from banging custies and had a abortion.

the story goes that she is tricking in the VIP rooms and has been caught in the past but no one says anything to uer. From what I've heard from some girls I know there she's been doing this for years but she makes money for the club so no one wants to stop it. She fucks customers in the rooms and it's bareback.

JH: At least now we know its not just Pandora's.

2005

2012-03-04T15:38:00.000-08:00

The stories “In the Beginning” Parts: I & II detail all about how I stumbled into a job in the strip club industry. That first stint working for the Vu lasted slightly longer than a year and a half. Lots of stuff went down during that time period, but those are all stories for another time. 2005 marks the year I went through my second tour of duty with the company. This is significant, because people who are old school enough still talk about what some managers have said was the ballsiest move ever attempted by a full time strip club bartender. The end of 2005 in my career marked the official death of the old school way of doing business. It’s when I learned that with the right manager, there is no limit to what you can get away with. Conversely, it’s also when I learned that all good things must come to an end.

FYI: This one is going to get a little lengthy, so I will be breaking it up into several chapters, which will be posted as I finish them.

Part I: Fin?

It was late in 2004 when I was fired from the Vu… the first time. At the time I was Airport’s day shift DJ working for then manager Rudy Carasco. Some of you may remember him, most of you will not. Rudy came up through the Lake City club, and his being sent to Airport was his first shot at a full time manager position. He inherited me as a DJ, which isn’t always the easiest thing to do, but at first we actually got along pretty well… at first. Let me give you a little background info on Mr. Carasco. Like most strip club managers, he wasn’t the coolest kid in school. He was an overweight, awkward character who lacked essential management traits like: tact, game, and objectivity. But! He was funny. He liked to talk shit, and usually shared his pot with me. Which is a really easy way to get me to like you… actually it’s an easy way to get me to consider liking you. I’ve always been perfectly willing to smoke free pot from people I don’t like.

Rudy liked to feel in charge, and the go-to way to make yourself feel powerful at the Vu is to twirl your manager keys around the standard phone cord style key chain. Managers use this as a sort of warning bell to let people know they better start looking busy. They won’t knock on the door before entering the dressing room, but they will jingle the keys to make themselves feel important. Anyway… I digress.

As the year was winding down, and Christmas time had passed. During an incredibly slow time period for day shift tensions had started to rise between Rudy and I. Predictably it was over a girl. A waitress whose name I can’t remember, so we will call her Hotwaitress. She was a very petit Hispanic number that myself and Rudy would flirt with pretty frequently. The only difference is she would flirt back with me. This made Mr. Carasco very angry. Apparently this anger built up like radiation poisoning, which in small doses can be pretty harmless. Yet it has a cumulative effect which can become fatal if subject to repeated exposures.

Admittedly Rudy had asked me several times to stop flirting with Hotwaitress. At first saying because it made her uncomfortable, but I laughed in his face at that one. Then he said it was because she couldn’t get any work done, if she spent all her time BSing with me in the DJ booth. Slightly better reason, but I knew he was still full of shit. He wanted me to stop flirting, so he could do it himself. Well kids, Homey don’t play that. I continued to flirt. Fuck him.

Hotwaitress had a pretty serious boyfriend so I wasn’t too concerned with hooking up with her. Don’t get me wrong; like I said before, she was hot. If she was giving it away, I would have taken it. As a point of personal policy however, I won’t jump through any hoops to nail a girl in a relationship. So what had started as harmless flirting to pass the time on a boring day shift, turned into aggressive vindictive flirting designed specifically to piss off my boss. To say I laid it on thick would be putting it mildly. If any of you have ever worked a day shift at Airport in the middle of winter, then you know I literally had nothing better to do.

Hotwaitress was in on the joke so she played it all up pretty beautifully. One day Rudy couldn’t take it anymore, and after half a day of stewing over not being flirted with, he yelled out “God dammit [James] I told you to stop hitting on her so much!” After which he hit me literally in the face with his manager keys attached to his stupid phone cord style key chain. What followed was a full on brawl between Rudy and I that covered pretty much the entire bar/DJ area, and into the office. Once we made it in the office the fight turned into a screaming argument that could be clearly heard by everyone in the dressing room… over the music. The argument lasted for close to an hour; not one customer bothered to come in during this time.

The really fucked thing about this fight is that once it fizzled out he actually apologized for hitting me with his keys, and I said I was sorry for repeatedly punching him in the head in retaliation. Everything seemed to be pretty chill afterwards, and I worked the rest of the shift not hearing another word about it until the end of my week on Thursday. A guy named Jerry Shackles was the head DJ at the time, and near the end of my shift he came up to me in the booth and told me my name wasn’t on the schedule for the following week. I still had around ten minutes left on my shift, but he offered to take over early so I could see what the deal was.

I won’t bother going over the whole conversation with Rudy but the long and short of it was this: I was being fired, but Rudy was afraid to tell me at work, so he was planning to wait until I got home. He figured I was unstable or something and would just start punching him again if he had to tell me I was sacked in person. Since he was a lazy-fat-slob, and just wanted to surf the internet all day in his office, he waited untill the end of the week to fire me so he wouldn’t have to DJ himself. The extra hours on that final paycheck were actually pretty helpful, but it’s still a dick head way to manage an employee termination.

I was away from the business for almost two months, when a different manager from Airport named Josh called me kind of out of the blue. He and I were friends, so it wasn’t unheard of to hear from him from time to time, but the call wasn’t expected nonetheless. Josh said there had been a bit of a managerial shake up at the club. Rudy was still there, but the GM had been transferred to 1^st & Pike, and a new GM named Nick was being brought in from Spokane. Apparently he (Josh) needed a Lot Guy for the head shift, and wanted to know if I wanted the job. He wasn’t a fan of Rudy’s, and he informed me that much of the reason he called me was to piss him off. I was ok with this, so I took the job. I was back mother fuckers.

I was a little apprehensive about working on the lot after having only been a DJ for so long. But I didn’t care. I was happy to be handed such a sweet way to piss Rudy off. Plus I always felt like the strip club industry and I had unfinished business. (I still feel that way actually)

I worked outside for maybe a week before I was brought inside to cover for a bartender that was let go. I spent about 60% of my day inside the club anyway, so it was a pretty easy transition. When it became pretty obvious to Nick that I was a way better bartender than I was a lot guy he made the change permanent. It helped a bit that Nick and I got along pretty famously, and he pretty much hated Rudy too. This was an employee/manager match that dreams were made of. The next year of my life was by far the craziest of my career. Nick was the definition of an “old school” manager, and together we literally broke every rule in the book. If there were a book, it would have spontaneously combusted.

To be continued…

Rumor Alert! Head to Pandora's Home of the $10 Hand Job

2012-02-20T18:18:00.000-08:00

Pandora's is really living up to their "Work Hard Play Hard" moniker. No bullshit this is the latest rumor to come out of the Seven Seas Chinese Restaurant.

"Allegedly" according to several different sources this is becoming such an issue that customers now expect it when entering the club on Lake City Way. Additionally the now infamous $10 hand job is being requested at other more reputable establishments in the Seattle area. Much to the ire and chagrin of other more reputable strippers.

I don't have any hard evidence that this is true, but given how much shit is sitting in my inbox that pertains to rampant prostitution, and manager neglect or abuse of power. I'm inclined to believe there may be some truth to this one.

Maybe the $10 is just the teaser price to get people in the VIP, then you get hit with the mandatory tip. I'm sure another $10 will do the trick. Don't be rude people, always tip.

If anyone has anything to add to this developing story, please don't hesitate to email me here.

Dreamgirls at Rick's Adds Another one to the List

2012-02-20T03:08:00.000-08:00

Talk about a club that's well represented in the tournament. Here are some pictures from yet another Rick's hottie. This time its lovely Dreamgirl Dylan.

Dylan

1st & Pike Checking in

2012-02-20T03:00:00.000-08:00

We are getting closer to March, and the brackets are starting to fill out nicely. Here is the Downtown Deja Vu's Arwen!

Arwen

Pics are in for Tacoma Vu's Ciarra

2012-02-20T02:52:00.000-08:00

Here is the latest in picture submissions from Deja Vu Showgirls Lakewood. Feast your eyes on Ciarra!

Ciarra

Dreamgirls SODO Back in the Action

2012-02-11T18:05:00.000-08:00

Not a lot of pictures have been coming my way from Dreamgirls SODO, but hopefully this will liven things up a bit. This round of pictures was submitted by showgirl Jordan, and I want everyone to take a good long hard look at these shots. This is the very definition of a good picture submission. Ladies and Gentleman the competition just got a little stiffer. (No pun intended)

Jordan

Photos by:

Cale Glendening photography
Caleglendening.com

A New Round of Pictures from Dreamgirls at Ricks

2012-02-09T20:44:00.000-08:00

It never fails... as soon as I post an updated list of pictured nominees for the March Madness tournament I get a new round of pictures. This time its Dreamgirls at Ricks Showgirl Anya. So go ahead and add her to the list.

Remember, the competition starts in March, at which point I will open the tournament for voting. Until then I want to get as close to the 64 stripper tournament maximum as possible. Anya makes the current total 23 pictured, and 54 nominated. This leaves us exactly 20 days to get as many showgirls as we can to fill out the brackets. Help me out here, and lets try to get the full 64 strippers. So spread the word, and let these girls know they are one of Seattle's hottest strippers.

The full list of nominees can be found here.

Anya

Dreamgirls at Ricks Nominee Serenity

2012-02-09T13:10:00.000-08:00

I was able to track down this picture of Ricks nominee Serenity. I know its not in the usual format, but its just one picture, so I figured it wouldn't hurt anything. I'm sure you will be fine.

Dreamgirls at Fox's; Stop Teasing Me! Updated

2012-02-09T12:42:00.000-08:00

Opening day for the new Fox's is set for the 24th of this month (February). The somewhat uninspiring sign outside the club has been put up. What are you thoughts on this one? I think the Dreamgirls name deserves something a little more impressive than that.

Peace

*Update: According to this Facebook post, opening day has been pushed back to March 2nd

Miss Pole Champ USA Regional Qualifier Information

2012-02-09T12:13:00.000-08:00

Hey [JH!]

The 2nd annual Miss Pole Champ NW USA is coming your way Sunday, February 12th at Club SinRock! We have contestant openings so if any of your girls would be interested in the opportunity~ please have them register Sunday from 6-8pm at the club.

We are giving cash and gift bags from our sponsors to the top 3 places, but the regional winner will also get an X-Pert pole, $100 certificate for custom costumes, $100 certificate for music & voice over service, crown, sash, and a free trip to the national competition March 10th in Tampa, FL!

The Miss Pole Champ USA competition is being held in 9 different cities hosting regional competitions nationwide. A winner from each region is competing at the national event in Tampa, FL on March 10th.

We hope to see your girls there!

JH: This was sent to me by the MPC people. Last year in was at Dreamgirls SODO... kind of surprising to see its at Sin Rock this year. Given its sq. footage limitations.

Sierra vs. Precious
	Sierra
	Precious

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G-Strings and Stilettos

2005 Part 2 The Platinum Hip Check

Here are the Brackets

March Madness Round 1A

March Madness Round 1A

March Madness Round 1A

March Madness Round 1A

The Peoples Response to Anya (Reader Submission)

Updated Pix and Response from Anya @ Ricks

March Madness Round 1A

March Madness Round 1A

March Madness Round 1A

March Madness Round 1A

March Madness Round 1A

March Madness Round 1A

Rumor (Reader Submission)

2005

Rumor Alert! Head to Pandora's Home of the $10 Hand Job

Dreamgirls at Rick's Adds Another one to the List

1st & Pike Checking in

Pics are in for Tacoma Vu's Ciarra

Dreamgirls SODO Back in the Action

A New Round of Pictures from Dreamgirls at Ricks

Dreamgirls at Ricks Nominee Serenity

Dreamgirls at Fox's; Stop Teasing Me! *Updated*

Miss Pole Champ USA Regional Qualifier Information

Dreamgirls at Fox's; Stop Teasing Me! Updated