Here’s a quick update on the lack of updates over here. A much larger variety of opportunities presented themselves as a result of this whole Greatest Employee in the World experiment than I would have expected. Instead of just a bunch of fun public job offers that would have fed into the contest, I kept getting hit with private offers and opportunities that were tough to say no to and as a result started taking up more and more of my time…until there wasn’t any…

That said, my friend and I have LOVED shooting Résumé Padding so I think what’s going to happen is the GEitW site will pivot into a place for the webseries to live and (hopefully) thrive without the baggage of the contest aspect. So there should still be a ton of fun going on here every other week or so if we can get our schedules to align. (I’m very excited about the next episode…it’s the kind of job you don’t even think about existing. )

Finally, keep your eyes peeled for a couple of companies I’m playing a large part in to rear their heads in the near future!

Thanks, Team! See you soon.

Brett.

Ever think to yourself, “Wow, that banker is SUPER attractive. Man, oh man does she look good in that pencil skirt. What I wouldn’t give to see her…fired!”

Yeah, me neither. But I guess that’s not really the point.

“What IS the point?” you ask. Well, first of all, let me just thank you for asking such a great, segue-aiding question. The point, my second person narrative friend, is that now there is presumably an open position for a Bank Officer in New York and I’m thinking…why not me?

Maybe I should back up a bit.

It seems 33 year old, single mom, Debrahlee Lorenzana has been deemed “Too Hot” to work as a Business Bank Officer for Citibank in New York.

Long story short, she has filed a suit claiming that Citibank has fired her for being too attractive and a distraction to male coworkers thanks to her penchant to parade around in…the same clothing her co-workers did. According to her, female coworkers “were able to wear such clothing because they were short, overweight, and they didn’t draw much attention.”

Here’s what I’m thinking. Although I’m neither short nor overweight and I do occasionally have the tendency to draw attention, I can nonetheless, categorically guarantee that I look hideous in a dress. Add to that the fact that I can count to nearly 4,657,872 without using my fingers and have more customer service skills than a Zappos call center employee on Zoloft and I figure I’m kind of a shoe in for this position.

So, without further ado, here’s my open cover letter to Citibank:

To Whom It May Concern:

I’m writing in regards to the newly vacated Business Bank Officer position in your Rockefeller Center branch. I have a lot to bring to the table and, without being too presumptuous, I just may be a perfect fit in your company culture.

I would like to point out that I am a man and as such rarely wear anything approaching a pencil skirt or dress. (I would love to say never but, in the interest of complete honesty, there was that time during that lip sync competition in high school. We won.) Also, it’s worth noting that although I do display copious amounts of boyish charm, I eschew any designations of rugged and/or rakish good looks.

Furthermore, far from being a distraction and thanks largely to a proclivity to over-eagerly prattle on about technology, I’m significantly more likely to bore coworkers to the point at which it is in their own self-interest to return to their duties thus AIDING in productivity.

I believe my résumé sufficiently outlines a sparkling academic and professional record (free of clothing related firing and lawsuits) and would more than welcome the opportunity to further discuss this position and how my average looks could be of use to Citibank. I can be reached by email at brett@GEitW.com or via phone at (559) 492-7388 to schedule an appointment. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Brett Rounsaville

I’m done.

Brett.

What do you think? Do I have a shot? Do you think Debrahlee has a case?

I was looking for an article that ran strongly counter to my thoughts on job hunting, so I could get more than one viewpoint up on the site, when I thought I found the perfect candidate, titled: Stop Being Creative in Your Job Search.

Sadly, I was completely disappointed before I even finished reading the first line. (At least as far as quickly finding a counterpoint goes.) Instead, what I got was a couple of really good points with which I completely agree.

One of the lines you’ve heard me say over and over (…and over) again, thanks to Amtrekker (it also happens to be my favorite line to shout when I get bored and/or frustrated) is, “Less talk, more action!” In fact, the entire premise of Amtrekker was predicated on this one line.

So, naturally, I was drawn to the opening of this article.

“Creativity is thinking up new things. Innovation is doing new things.”

That’s according to economist and Harvard professor, Theodore Levitt.

And that’s absolutely correct.

Especially in job hunting, where too many people think too much and do too little.

Granted, I don’t spend much time sitting around watching TV but I’ve clearly taken things much farther in the other direction than I would recommend to most folks. I categorically guarantee that it is much less work to follow some of the sound advice presented in this article than to build a website, worldwide contest and video series around your inability to find a paycheck. Granted, I’ve always kind of been that guy that never stops looking for “the top”…just so I can go over it.

I’m done.

Brett.

This is just way too crazy of an article and entirely too fitting of this site not to repost here. I was blow away by the tweet I saw pointing out this story and it just went downhill from there.

Apparently it’s becoming increasingly more common to see job postings that specifically state “Client will not consider/review anyone NOT currently employed regardless of the reason.”

Ads asking the unemployed not to apply are easy to find. A Craigslist ad for assistant restaurant managers in Edgewater, N.J. specifies, “Must be currently employed.” Another job posting for a tax manager at an unnamed “top 25 CPA firm” in New York City contains the same line in all caps.

A company’s choice to ignore unemployed applicants and recycle the current workforce ignores the effect of the recession on millions of highly-qualified workers and could prolong the unemployment crisis, said Judy Conti, federal advocacy coordinator for the National Employment Law Project.

“In the current economy, where millions of people have lost their jobs through absolutely no fault of their own, I find it beyond unconscionable that any employer would not consider unemployed workers for current job openings,” she said. “Not only are these employers short-sighted in their search for the best qualified workers, but they are clearly not good corporate citizens of the communities in which they work. Increasingly, politicians and policy makers are trying to blame the unemployed for their condition, and to see this shameful propaganda trickle down to hiring decisions is truly sad and despicable.”

You can find the article in its entirety here.

Horrible, ego-deflating and completely lacking any modicum of empathy.

I’m done.

Brett.

article found via @lons on twitter

Brett spends the day at Yellow Dog Signs and Graphics where he learns how to make all manner of signs and closes out the day with a head to head competition, that ends up neck and neck, to see who can make a banner the fastest.

This story was pretty big last week but I was so busy trying to get Résumé Padding off the ground I didn’t have much of a chance to write about it.

Here’s the deal: clearly I’m not the only one who has come to the realization that, between an economy that’s on suicide watch and an online job posting system that is better suited to hiring robots (literal robots…that wasn’t some figurative jab against people who don’t think for themselves), job hunting in 2010 is fundamentally broken.

Click here to view the embedded video.

How did this guy solve the problem? Did he spend months building a website around a twisted job competition concept thereby creating not only a means to an end but also a mirror into society and a marketing coup for some lucky winner? Did he spend further weeks of shooting and editing a weekly web series dedicated to padding his résumé, adding awareness and interactivity to his site and proving he can produce a top quality show on time and under budget?

No.

He spent $6 on a Google AdWords.

Here’s the clever part though: The dude bought ads, not for generic search terms, but for the names of Creative Directors in New York City. So, when these guys vanity searched themselves, lo and behold, here was a clever guy asking for a job. I’ve heard of people playing similar games with facebook ad buys so it’s not without some precedent but still…brilliant, right?!

There it is folks, stand out and make an impression. Let’s call that Life Lesson #11.

I’m done.

Brett.

Are you crazy kids ready for some Résumé Padding? Here’s the deal: In addition to this little GEitW contest that’s rolling out we’re going to start taking things a step further. You know what? That’s just lazy. Why take things a step further when you can take them THREE steps further?!

Good. That’s settled then. Let’s start over…

Are you crazy kids ready for some Résumé Padding? Here’s the deal: In addition to this little GEitW contest that’s rolling out we’re going to start taking things THREE HUGE STEPS FURTHER. I know what you’re thinking. 1) Who’s this “we” and 2) What are you babbling on about?

It seems I can’t in good conscience run a website that doesn’t provide a startling amount of entertainment relative to how many people are working on it* so, starting next week there will be a new weekly web series on this very site operating under the name…Résumé Padding!

Résumé Padding will be serving a dual purpose of 1) entertaining the masses (that’s you, friends!) and 2) proving once and for all that I am indeed…the Greatest Employee in the World! (Maybe.)

The concept is simple. Each episode will feature me taking on a different local job (Maybe a pizza parlor, a shoeshine stand, a zoo? Who knows?), going over what it takes to do the job well, a little look at training and ending with a grand competition between me and a regular employee for the title of “Greatest Employee in the WORLD!” Sounds fun, right?!

It’s kind of like the web’s answer to Dirty Jobs…but without the dirty…and no one nearly as cool as Mike Rowe…and less of a focus on obscure jobs…and not sponsored by Ford…and done with little to no budget…y’know what, it’s probably more like the web’s answer to Amtrekker.

Here’s where the “we” comes in. Since these episodes don’t have to be super timely I’d LOVE to shoot as many as I can, as quickly as possible and just spread out the editing. Which means, if you own your own business or know of a business that would love to be part of an episode shoot me and email at brett [at] GEitW [dot] com! I’m based in Fresno, CA so the closer to there the better but I am willing to do a little driving. (You know what? There are some pretty good airline deals out there right now…if you’ve got a cool idea for an episode hit me up regardless of your location!)

I’m super pumped about this, gang! Let’s make it happen!

I’m done.



Brett.

*Bear in mind there is exactly one person working on this site.

Andrew Mayne has a great new site up about monetizing internet projects that is a must read. Very well thought out and concisely written, it provides some great insights into specific concepts. And since he recently wrote a post about tipping and donations, which I happen to know a thing or two about after living off the good graces of the web for almost two years, I agreed to write a quick devil’s advocate response.

You can check out my guest post here.

And his homepage is right here.

Thanks, Team!

I’m done.

Brett.

I spent the last week trapped in the amazing networking blackhole that is South by Southwest and let it be known: I enjoyed every minute of it.

More importantly, just before I left to fly out to Texas I realized I should be heeding my own advice and using the opportunity to make an impression face to face with whoever I happen to run across. Unfortunately, as digital as our world has become, that still means business cards are the first line of offense.

So, what happens when you suddenly realize you doesn’t have business cards that creatively reflect your unemployment contest six hours before your flight leaves?

This:

With a Sharpie, a scanner and some old Trader Joe’s paper bags I was shooting for something that had a chance at standing out above the crowd not on cost or flash but by creatively fitting the cards into a story that reflected what I’m trying to accomplish.

Modeling this season’s cards is one of my desk’s oldest friends, Hellboy.

I actually saw quite a few really cool business cards floating around SXSW. Send some pics of your favorites and I’ll add them to the post!

Thanks, Team.

I’m done.

Brett.