Puns are always intended...

Billions and Taxes

noreply@blogger.com (Gess Homsany) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 10:51:44 PST

This an interesting and funny, yet disheartening chain Email I received today I thought I'd share:

This is too true to be funny.

The next time you hear a politician use the
Word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about
whether you want the 'politicians' spending
YOUR tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend,
But one advertising agency did a good job of
Putting that figure into some perspective in
One of its releases.

A.
A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

B.
A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

C.
A billion hours ago our ancestors were
living in the Stone Age.

D.
A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

E.
A billion dollars ago was only
8 hours and 20 minutes,
at the rate our government
is spending it.

While this thought is still fresh in our brain...
let's take a look at New Orleans ...
It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division.

Louisiana Senator,
Mary Landrieu (D)
was asking Congress for
250 BILLION DOLLARS
To rebuild New Orleans . Interesting number...
What does it mean?

A.
Well .. If you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans
(every man, woman and child)
You each get $516,528

B.
Or... If you have one of the 188,251 homes in
New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.

C.
Or... If you are a family of four...
Your family gets $2,066,012.

Washington , D.C

HELLO!
Are all your calculators broken??

Building Permit Tax
CDL License Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax (Fed)
Federal Unemployment Tax (FU TA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Tax
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge Taxes
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax (Truckers)
Sales Taxes
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School   Tax
State   Income   Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurringCharges   Tax
Telephone   State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage ChargeTax
Utility Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
(And to think, we left British Rule to avoid so many taxes)

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago...
And our nation was the most prosperous in the world.

We had absolutely no national debt...
We had the largest middle class in the world...
And Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

What happened?
Can you spell

'politicians'!

And I still have to
Press '1'
For English.

I hope this goes around the
USA
At least 100 times

What the hell happened?????

A Day Without Cliche - Reprise

noreply@blogger.com (Gess Homsany) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 13:24:23 PST

As a follow up to my A Day Without Cliche post, here is something I was sent with very interesting facts about some popular phrases origins and/or meanings.

Enjoy:

There is an old Hotel/Pub in Marble Arch, London , which used to have a gallows adjacent to it. Prisoners were taken to the gallows (after a fair trial of course) to be hanged

The horse-drawn dray, carting the prisoner, was accompanied by an armed guard, who would stop the dray outside the pub and ask the prisoner if he would like ''ONE LAST DRINK''.

If he said YES, it was referred to as ONE FOR THE ROAD.

If he declined, that prisoner was ON THE WAGON.

They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot and then once a day it was taken and sold to the tannery. If you had to do this to survive you were "piss poor", but worse than that were the really poor folk, who couldn't even afford to buy a pot, they "Didn't have a pot to piss in" and were the lowest of the low.

Here are some facts about the 1500s:

Most people got married in June, because they took their yearly bath in May and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell, brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married. Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water!"

Houses had thatched roofs, thick straw piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom, where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a thresh hold.

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight, then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: ''Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot, nine days old''.

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over they would hang up their bacon, to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "Bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around talking and ''chew the fat''.

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or ''The Upper Crust''.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of ''Holding a Wake''.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people, so they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, thread it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell.

Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift) to listen for the bell; thus someone could be, ''Saved by the Bell ''or was considered a ''Dead Ringer''

      And that's the truth.

      Now, whoever said history was boring ! ! !

My Top 5 Video Girls

noreply@blogger.com (Gess Homsany) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 07:44:33 PST

Growing up as a member of the M-TV Generation, the effect music videos had on my childhood is enormous. In its infancy, M-TV actually aired mostly nothing but actual music videos. I spent countless hours watching and was annoyed by any break. As a matter of fact, the only programming break I can remember back then, was Music News which lasted only a minute or two.

Being an adolescent male, it's rather needless to say that much of my attention was focused on the girls in the videos. I decided to list in ascending order my top 5. Mind you this is a list of extras or little known actresses only. The list would have been too large if I included the likes of Madonna, Janet Jackson, Beyonce, Shakira, etc. I'll reserve that discussion for a later date.

#5 Tesla - Love Song

I've been pondering this one for quite a while. The top 4 was pretty easy, but I could not get a solid 5th. A week or so ago, this song debuted on my Vlog and the wheels started turning. The girl appears in the video twice and embodies the 80's look. She's not my type at all, mind you, but nevertheless, there's something captivating about her.

#4 Billy Idol - Cradle of Love

To quote Kevin James character in Hitch, Albert Brenneman, "This whole thing, it just works." As above, this girl is night my type at all. I prefer more brunette and the "younger" thing has never really appealed to me. However, the overall product is excellent.

#3 Motley Crue - Home Sweet Home

This one is more implied than anything. Actually, implied may be a bad choice of words. Potential? Better yet, unattainable. She is only on screen for seconds and nothing but a silhouette in darkness singing with Vince Neil. Otherwise, she may have been #1. Hey, we'll never know... Note: this video is mirrored and it takes away from it a bit. Can't explain why...

#2 Winger - Miles Away

Great song, great video. The black and white adds character. This one IS my type. Being shitty to the guy keeps her out of the top spot.

#1 White Lion - Wait

Put a pretty, girl next door, long haired brunette in jeans and a denim jacket and I'm done! Put a fork in me! Perfect, perfect, perfect. I'll say no more. She wins.

Everyone Loves A Good Hummer

noreply@blogger.com (Gess Homsany) — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 07:24:33 PST

Hold on, hold on, don't get the wrong idea! I know the title of this post sounds a little risqué...

...but I'm referring to my old car, my Hummer H3.

Out of all the other cars I've had, I have to say it was and still is my all time favorite. It just felt right. I liked the feeling of being inside something that felt like a tank! The ride was extremely smooth, even for a tank.

There were some minor problems. Gas mileage isn't the greatest but not bad as SUV's go. A taillight bulb went out and my driver's side door release cable snapped. GM service was poor and expensive, but these negatives barely diminish my overall love of this vehicle.

Unfortunately, for most of the lease, I let my wife use the Hummer while I drove a Saturn. I don't regret that decision at all, only the time lost driving my favorite car. After all, there's no better feeling of security than knowing your loved ones are in a tank! Believe it or not, a streetlight post fell on them and they came away unscathed! She now drives a Toyota FJ Cruiser, which is a very poor attempt to mimic the H3.

I loved it so much I wore a Hummer hat and even still wear the cologne! I also almost bought the sneakers.

Since I have less than a year remaining on my current lease, I'm deeply saddened that Hummers are no longer produced. So this is somewhat of a desperate plea for GM or another auto manufacturer to resume production of Hummers fast. This is really the only public forum I have access to, and hopefully this will get noticed. Please, please, please pass this on, share it, comment, like it (maybe I'll make yet another Facebook page), tweet it, Stumble it, talk about it, anything. If not for yourself, in the spirit of the holiday season, for ME!!! I rarely ask for any gifts, but I'm desperate. I miss my Hummer!

Hardware Bugs

noreply@blogger.com (Gess Homsany) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 08:03:06 PST

A few days ago I strolled into work, like any other day, but this time I bumped into the owner. Rather than his usual, "Good morning," he said, "I need you..." Always a bad thing.

Apparently his desktop printer wasn't printing. Getting technical feedback from someone in their mid 70's is more difficult than fixing the issue itself, so I just said, "No problem." Unfortunately, it was followed by, "Betty (his secretary, uh, administrative assistant) and John (former IT guy) couldn't get it to work either."

Great, so now I have to fix what they made worse.

There are two things I've learned when troubleshooting issues:

Start basic - loose cords, on / off buttons, out of paper, caps lock, etc.
Don't reinvent the wheel - search the net, someone, somewhere has had the same issue

Before I entered his office, I was already jumping to step 2 on my phone. He has an ink based photo printer. Nothing fancy and few removable parts. The error continually said there was a paper jam. John, always having to provide useless advice, brought in some troubleshooting steps he had printed, which didn't apply to this particular model at all. Perhaps they could be used in a severe toilet paper emergency...

Anyway, these phantom paper jams are caused by "something" blocking the paper path. Through my searches, I found others had success removing the cartridges, turning it upside down, and shaking. So I did.

So what fell out? Not an itty-bitty piece of paper nor a staple, a fly. Yes, a fly, a "bug". A real bug. The term bug came from a moth that had flown into a large IBM machine way back in the day. Here was my first, real bug. A few more shakes and a gnat fell out too.

When I told him what was wrong, he showed me a sticky fly trap on the window sill directly above the printer. So not only were the bugs falling in, they were coated with some sticky substance.

Nevertheless, the printer worked fine since.

We moved it away from the window, of course.

Name That Movie

noreply@blogger.com (Gess Homsany) — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 17:11:26 PDT

For as long as I can remember, my brothers and friends and I have loved quoting movie lines. Caddyshack has always been one of the most frequent, but there are several.

Rodney in Back To School...

A Few Good Men is one on the serious side. As Good As It Gets is another of Nicholson's.

In addition to the obvious ones, we've always had a blast using more obscure lines from lesser known movies. A good example is Can't Buy Me Love starring a young Patrick Dempsey. There's one particular character in the movie, Quint, who says some ridiculously funny lines.

Speaking of Quints, how many memorable lines does Robert Shaw as Quint in Jaws have???

The Best of Times with Kurt Russel and Robin Williams is another.

This post is actually tied to a few of my other posts. Movie quotes are not always witty, but some people get them, some people don't. And like my Paradox of Wit post explains, if those listening do not get it, you may look pretty foolish. I've also tried using Twitter hashtags to turn things into a game. 3 On A Beach and Cliche Quote have not been as successful as I'd like. Let's try one more. #NTM for Name That Movie.

Oh, and don't cheat! We all know how easy it is to look up a line on the internet...

WYSE Pocket Cloud app for Android

noreply@blogger.com (Gess Homsany) — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 08:37:07 PDT

This is not a shameless plug because I have no affiliation with this product...

I just have to rave about WYSE's Pocket Cloud Pro that I use on my EVO 4G running Android.

There are dozens of remote control apps out there, most of which are not free. WYSE's app is definitely well worth the money.

I primarily use it to RDP to a Windows 2003 server. From there (and this has never worked with other remote control apps) I remote control any device on our LAN. A remote control session within a remote control session. I've used RDP, PCanywhere, and VNC. In the past, switching between sessions gets pretty messy. Not with PocketCloud.

Since I have been unable to find any terminal emulation apps for UNIX, Pocket Cloud allows me to run one from a desktop instead. If you know of any, especially one with wyse60 emulation, please let me know.

Unlike most others, the user interface is flawless. Panning is easy and smooth, but that's just the beginning. The keyboard controls are intuitive and complete. CTRL, ALT, and functions keys are simple to access as are combinations.

Perhaps the best feature is their Touch Pointer. It's a transparent circular set of buttons with a traditional pointer arrow emulating a mouse. The buttons allow you to click, right-click, or bring up the keyboard with ease. Most importantly, your pointer is in a precise location, rather than have to rely on the touch screen. With fat fingers like mine, that is a Godsend!

Just this morning, I used it to free up my boss's secretary's "locked" PC. It wasn't really locked, but if you read my posts, you know how end users can be! Regardless, while stuck in traffic, I was able to remote control her UNIX session and free up the so called "lock". Right from my car! Please do not tell any law enforcement officials as I've already received 2 tickets for having my phone in hand while driving. One for plugging in the charger, the other while stopped at a red light!

Last summer, I also was able to push along our paused nightly UNIX backup, which would have prevented the morning crew from working. It was 6 AM and we were on I-95 in South Carolina on our way to Florida. They never even knew there was a problem.

Needless to say, I highly, highly, recommend this app.

My Top 5 Video Girls

noreply@blogger.com (Gess Homsany) — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 09:50:56 PST

Growing up as a member of the M-TV Generation, the effect music videos had on my childhood is enormous. In it's infancy, M-TV actually aired mostly nothing but actual music videos. I spent countless hours watching and was annoyed by any break. As a matter of fact, the only programming break I can remember back then, was Music News which lasted only a minute or two.

#2 Winger - Miles Away

Great song, great video. The black and white adds character. This one IS my type. Being shitty to the guy keeps her out of the top spot.

#1 White Lion - Wait

Put a pretty, girl next door, long haired brunette in jeans and a denim jacket and I'm done! Put a fork in me! Perfect, perfect, perfect. I'll say no more. She wins.

My X Factor "Top 16"

noreply@blogger.com (Gess Homsany) — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 09:55:38 PDT

Let me start off by saying I have become quite of fan of the popular television singing competitions. I've diligently watched recent seasons of American Idol, The Voice, and The X Factor. Lately it seems when the judges make their "final cuts", before the voting gets turned over to the public, they make their choices for ratings as opposed to talent or performance.

There are several theories behind this, aside from ratings. They quite possibly may wish to spread the demographics or genres. Why else would they select even numbers of boys and girls (in Idol and Voice) or boys, girls, over 30, and groups (X factor)? If you were looking for the best, you would take the best regardless of sex, race, financial background, geographic location, and so on.

This became suspicious when Idol changed their format but almost obvious recently with X Factor. Having live audience auditions is brilliant. You already know who is popular, and thus, may get votes. Why then, the judges' homes, round? This is where the controversy occurs. From my standpoint, some very strange choices, without the weight of an audience. Can two groups of teenagers thrown together really be better than groups who have been performing together for years?

Regardless, I did not intend to make my intro this wordy. Instead, I was aiming to share my own list of who should have made those final cuts. Here goes:

Groups:
Honestly, I think there should be a separate group competition. It's far too hard to compare groups with soloists. For me, this is more of who not should have made it. But if I have to....

The Stereo Hogzz
4 Shore
The Anser
Illusion Confusion

Notes: I already mentioned my thoughts regarding the groups the judges "created". As for the Brewer Boys, it seemed the younger brother lacked personality, confidence, and stage presence.

Over 30's:

The best category. Hard to really cut most. I would've expanded the numbers coming from here.

Josh Krajcik
LeRoy Bell
Stacy Francis
Elaine Gibbs
James Kenney
Tiger Budbill

Notes: Any 4 of these 6 would've been fine. It's unfortunate that Dexter Haygood is homeless, but that is not reason enough to bump out one of the others. He's just not that good of a singer. As for James and Tiger, they were probably too ordinary. Just regular guys. Elaine was not as publicly emotional as Stacy, to the say the least, and that likely made them go with Stacy.

Boys:

Marcus Canty
Brennin Hunt
Tim Cifers

Notes: That's all I got! I'm not about to re-hash the bootcamp round. I don't have a theory as to why Brennin got axed. Tim was a result of an all country Idol finale. It would be nice to have a good hip/hop rapper. Problem is Astro is not good. He should've been kicked off when he refused to dance. I'm sure he could dance better on his hands then some of the others that were out there trying! Chris Rene was a judges favorite from the start and they were putting him through no matter what. Phillip Lomax, I don't think a modern day crooner will sell mp3s. Skyelor Anderson was not as good as Tim.

Girls:

Caitlin Koch
Rachel Crow
Melanie Amaro
Tora Woloshin
Jazzlyn Little

Notes: Oh my God! Did Caitlin have any bad performances? Did she forget any lyrics (hint, hint, hint!) My only guess is that she was too humble, if there is such a thing. Travesty. Tora is spunky, unique, entertaining, and sings very well. Jazzlyn lacks confidence when she's not singing but it does not affect her performances. Simone, really? Tiah was getting through 'cause Simon fought for her, but she's pretty good. Drew is the every season folk singer addition who always seems to get far flying under the radar. Her first audition was the only decent one, 'cause of the arrangement. She's no where near the other girls who were cut.

Guest Post: How IT Can Gain Control of Consumerization Trends

noreply@blogger.com (Gess Homsany) — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 08:16:13 PDT

This morning I joined a webinar titled “Consumerization: How IT Can Gain Control”. While I was expecting to hear about how companies are dealing with the exponential growth of consumer data to help grow market share, I was educated with how the “enterprise” is managing the explosion of employee owed devices such as tablets and smart phones and growing traction of the virtual workplace.

Fueling these trends are low cost devices and blurred lines between personal and business lives, especially here is the US. While these interesting developments are without questions, companies are learning to deal with greater security, more complex compliance and rising cost issues. CIOs and CTOs in public and private businesses are adopting a Bring Your Own (BYO) device policy in order to improve employee satisfaction and mobility, attract a new tech savvy workforce, and increase staff productivity.

The current corporate model has IT at the center of devices, data, employees and applications. But, will this trend have Echo Boomers or Millennials elbowing their way to center stage and IT adopting more of a service delivery and governance role? With PCs and laptops accounting for less and less of hardware purchases, will virtual or cloud computing emerge as the new norm?

I would like to know what you think!

http://gmconsultingllc.wordpress.com/2011/10/13/how-it-can-gain-control-of-consumerization-trends/

http://twitter.com/#!/georgemarmo

The Paradox of Wit

noreply@blogger.com (Gess Homsany) — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 09:43:00 PDT

Throughout my life, I have been impressed by, and to some extent, crave witty remarks. I admire and envy envy those quick witted individuals can fire some off while grasping others'. Needless to say, I try to be one of these people.

The contradiction I've found, however, is that wit is in the eye of the beholder.

What I mean is, that regardless of how clever a statement may be, if no one understands it, does it matter?

I suppose it depends on what you're trying to accomplish. If your goal is to impress those you are speaking to, saying something over their heads will not suit you. If you are the type of person who amuses themselves, maybe that is exactly your plan. Maybe you enjoy the confusion.

Generally speaking, perception is everything. I doubt most people regularly surround themselves with others who do not understand them, or what they are saying. Consider the following statement I found on a website:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol

You can interpret this is as "I'm a risky person, so why be cautious with food" or "you're going to die someday" or somewhat more profound, "live life to the fullest".

But what if you take it literally? What if you miss the subtle analogy? Cholesterol obviously has nothing to do with driving fast. The person saying this would appear moronic, or worse, insane!

In my opinion, witty remarks are said to demonstrate wisdom or intelligence. The contradiction is that in using them, you run the risk of appearing the opposite.

Apparently there is a fine line between wittiness and stupidity.

Dumb User Comments

noreply@blogger.com (Gess Homsany) — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 10:56:02 PDT

I've been in charge of IT at a small industrial supply company in Northern NJ for the past 15 years. During that time, I've heard some ridiculous comments from end users. Here is a quick list of some of my favorites, in no particular order. They are guaranteed to amuse:

Help, there's a message on my screen I've never seen before... What does it say? I don't know, I didn't read it
I'm trying to get into invoice recall and it's not working. OK, hit spacebar then type INVOICE-RECALL. I did. Show me. (proceeds to type INVOICE RECALL) You typed space, not dash. Isn't it the same thing?
I'm trying to send a FAX and I don't know where to put the FAX number. Where is your cursor now? It's blinking next to FAX NUMBER: Why don't you try putting it there!
Can you look at an order for me? Sure, what's the order number? Oh, I didn't look, do you need it?
I hit ENTER and nothing happened, should I hit it harder?
(On Saturday) If I FAX something today, will they have it by Monday?
I lost a picture from my Email that I was saving. Where were you saving it? In my Deleted Items folder...
When creating a new customer, put the company name in the name field. What if they don't have a company? Then put their name. What if they don't have a name?

Stuffed Grape Leaves Stew Recipe

noreply@blogger.com (Gess Homsany) — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 09:49:01 PDT

If the title of this post didn't scare you off, you might be in for a treat...

There is a Middle Eastern or Mediterranean food that my family, and extended family, has grown to love. It is named and pronounced several different ways by different cultures. The Americanized term is "stuffed grape leaves". The closest match to the name we use on the corresponding Wikipedia page is:

The Assyrians of Iraq may either call it dolma or yaprekh which is the Syriac term for stuffed grape leaves

We call it ( Yeb - a - det ). No matter what you call it, it is grape leaves stuffed with a seasoned mixture of meat and rice or vegetables and rice then boiled in lemon juice. Needless to say, it is quite tedious to prepare. The cooking part is easy, but stuffing and rolling the leaves takes time. I personally can devour 30 or so in one sitting.

Fortunately, one of my impatient cousins asked, "Why roll them? Why not throw it all in a pot and be done?" In the process, he created Yeb - a - det Stew or Yeb Stew. For those of us who prefer our grape leaves saturated in lemon, the stew is perfect. It takes a few minutes to prepare and only about 15 minutes to cook. My Mom (who according to my friends can make shit taste good!) was kind enough to type up her recipe. It calls for ground beef but you can use turkey or pork instead. Actually, the proper meat to use is lamb. If you're lucky enough to have hand picked leaves, they are better than the jarred ones.

½ cup Carolina Rice
¾ lb. ground beef
1 cup Lemon Juice
Grape Leaves (use the Grape Leaves from the supermarket in a jar, usually the brand is Orlando – use at least 10 leaves (more if you like) rinse the leaves and squeeze dry – cut stems off and cut up in small pieces
1 ½ to 2 Tablespoons Salt – or a little more to taste
1 Teaspoon Allspice
½ Teaspoon Garlic Salt
Water

Put the rice in a large bowl. To rinse the starch off the rice, cover the rice with water, swish the rice around, carefully drain the water off the rice, repeat once or twice until the water is pretty clear. Drain the water off the rice before mixing with the meat.

In a large bowl, combine the ground beef, the rinsed rice, 1 ½ Tablespoons salt, 1 Teas. Allspice, ½ cup water. Mix all the ingredients together until rice and meat look evenly mixed. (If mixture is too sticky – add a little more water and mix)

In a medium size pot, add the meat and rice mixture – on medium heat brown the meat and with a fork, break the meat up until it is in small chunks. Keep moving the meat and rice around to brown on all sides – when there is no more raw meat showing drain the meat mixture in a strainer –( with paper towels or a paper plate under it to catch the excess fat.)

Put the mixture back into the pot – add a cup Lemon Juice and enough water to cover the meat by an inch - add the cut up grape leaves, bring to a boil, add garlic salt, and/or regular salt to taste. Be careful not to add too much salt. Taste the broth to see if there is enough salt.

Lower the heat, cover the pot and cook on a slow boil until rice is cooked – about 15 mins. If the liquid boils down you can add more lemon juice or more water. Try not to overcook – rice will get too mushy.

Music is my Fountain of Youth

noreply@blogger.com (Gess Homsany) — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 07:06:53 PDT

When I was younger, I had several sayings about getting older, or more accurately, remaining youthful:

You're old when you stop doing the things you did when you were young...
You're as old as you act
Age is a state of mind

On and on it goes, but you get the point.

So now I am "older" and actually still agree with most of these. Even though I am a dedicated believer and spokesperson for "mind over matter" theories, I cannot deny or overcome the physical effects of aging.

For example, considering the first bullet point above, throughout most of my life, I've been a sports fanatic. Not necessarily watching (especially when I was a child), but always playing. Touch football, wiffle ball, kill the man with the ball, baseball, softball, basketball, soccer, tackle football, tennis, golf, street hockey, ice hockey, you name it. Even in my adult years, well after high school and college, I participated in mens' baseball, basketball, street hockey, fast pitch softball, and even "rough touch" football leagues. I haven't been involved in any of these in quite some time. However, when I do play any of these today, I don't feel 25. I'm not refuting bullet point #1, just looking at it in a more complete way. There is a difference between doing things you did in your youth and feeling youthful.

Because of this, I am fascinated by the feeling I get when I hear a song from years past. A wave of agelessness comes over me. It seldom matters what I'm doing that particular moment. The music triggers such an amazing feeling of euphoria. Not only do I recall the feelings and emotions of long ago, but I actually, physically FEEL YOUNGER.

It's really hard to describe. Smell is a very powerful sense. When you smell something you love, perhaps a favorite food, it's extremely pleasing. You can almost taste it. It also, usually, makes you feel hungry.

I would not think the sense of hearing could be equally as powerful, but perhaps it's the most powerful. Pavlov's dog was really onto something. He didn't smell the food, he didn't see the food, he heard the bell. I wasn't doing anything I did in my youth, I heard a song. Come to think of it, when I see an old photo, it's more of a melancholy feeling rather than one of happiness.

If I were a brain function researcher, I would begin a project focusing on what areas of the brain hearing a song awakens.

For some reason, the effects are greater when the song is unexpected. The next time an old favorite of yours comes on, try to identify the way it make you feel. See if music is your Fountain of Youth too...

A Day Without Cliché

noreply@blogger.com (Gess Homsany) — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 06:40:06 PDT

Try to go a day without using a cliché. Wait, wait, wait, that's not fair. Try to go an hour, instead. It's a lot harder than you think.

Before you try, I must warn you:
- Once you tune your brain to listen for these, you will not be able to turn it off!
- You may chuckle while others are speaking, apparently to them for no reason at all, implying insanity.

I speak from experience. Not long ago, a few colleagues and I were discussing how often these phrases were used, their origins, misuse, etc.. It's far more often than one might think. In fact, our common dialogue has become inundated with them.

Dictionary.com defines cliché as:
- a trite, stereotyped expression; a sentence or phrase, usually expressing a popular or common thought or idea, that has lost originality, ingenuity, and impact by long overuse

Overuse, is an understatement. (PAI, no, perhaps oxymoron?)
The average person uses clichés more than Adel's "Rolling In The Deep" is played on the radio.

There is even a popular commercial about it, or maybe more than one. The one I'm thinking about is a group of people around a business conference table. Dunkin Donuts, maybe, or FedEx? They all take turns saying things like, "..run it up the flagpole", "circle back offline", "way to bring your 'A' game!", and so on.
thought of suggesting a Twitter hashtag, like #CQ (Cliche-Quote), but they are spoken aloud far more often than written or typed, especially when limited by 140 characters. It's more of a verbal, conversational thing.

Back to the point, we started out trying to use as many clichés as possible, with each other. A little fun humor to liven up the workplace. Problem was, we could not stop isolating them from regular conversations. They stuck out like a sore thumb. There I go! I'm writing this on a Friday, and I tend to feel somewhat goofy leading into the weekends.

So if you come across any good ones, please drop me a line. Comment, Tweet, SMS, or whatever floats your boat. They're always a barrel of laughs!

What has SpongeBob done for you?

noreply@blogger.com (Gess Homsany) — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 13:23:45 PDT

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By now, just about everyone knows who SpongeBob is, especially parents! We have an 8 year old boy who has watched the show for hours. He takes great offense when I categorize the show as garbage.

I've come to realize, unfortunately, that after he watches this particular show, his behavior deteriorates. He becomes quite a crabby patty (PAI). Originally, I thought it must have something to do with the ridiculousness of the content. The show seldom uses proper speech or grammar and is usually about a topic like "boogers." Perfect for every child, whose brain is the far more important sponge.

Fortunately, my theories have been validated. I found this on opposingviews.com after my wife mentioned hearing about it:

...According to TheWrap.com, a new study to be published online Monday by the medical journal Pediatrics claims that watching just nine minutes of 'SpongeBob' had a negative effect on the attention span of four-year-olds...

http://www.opposingviews.com/i/entertainment/sponge-bob-rotting-your-kids-brain

From my experience, this study is accurate. Only, in our case, it is not limited to SpongeBob or even cartoons. Many shows the little guy loves have similar effects. The surprising thing is, these shows are not that unintelligent and come from reputable networks like Disney and Nickelodeon. Some of them include iCarly, The Suite Life..., and Drake and Josh. The shows themselves are not that bad (after the first 10 times!) but the resulting behavior is. My guess is that they are episodes of a series and seem to go on and on without end.

By comparison, movies do not have the same negative impact on his behavior or attention. He could watch a DVD 3 times back to back and when it's off, he's OK. The DVD itself can be anything: Rango, Star Wars, Spy Kids, Bedtime Stories, etc. They do not have the same effect as the TV shows. This could be because they often tell a story that has a conclusion.

In addition, other TV programming actually improves his behavior. Not long ago, since he adores animals, we encouraged him to watch Animal Planet. There are all different kinds of programs, and he likes every one. So far, none seem to influence him the way the aforementioned programs have. It's been so good I've actually given him the green light to turn on Animal Planet without asking permission first. I know having to ask permission to watch TV may sound harsh, but believe me, if you witnessed the effect of hours of Squidworth, or whatever the name is, you'd agree.

The beauty of it is, when he watches the better programs, HE is happier.

So if you can, try and wring SpongeBob out from your life. It will be well worth it.

What a Great Time To Be Alive

noreply@blogger.com (Gess Homsany) — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 07:18:17 PDT

A few weeks back, I decided that my seemingly constant online life should be put to a more productive use. Having a 4G smartphone keeps me connected when I'm not at a PC, laptop, or E-Pad (not to be confused with I-Pad). Still, I realized that I was not using my websites, Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ accounts for anything useful. I decided to begin...or at least, begin trying.

Since then, I have been expanding my connections on these social networks. Facebook is easy, since I have hundreds of connections to start with, and several idle requests I had not answered yet. However, for all intents and purposes, I'm a Twitter beginner.

I was able to gain 500+ followers in a week or so, but the challenge for me is the content of the tweets. As I was gaining followers, and following others, I myself became annoyed with some of the garbage that was coming my way. Rather than wing it, I decided to seek out some resources. Coincidentally, I noticed one followee (my own word) had written a book about optimizing Twitter, called the Tau of Twitter.

I am not writing this to tell you how this book changed my life. As a matter of fact, I have not read it yet, albeit the first chapter. Instead, I'd like to share how I got the book. After reading @markwschaefer Mark Schaefer's profile, I found the book on Amazon.com. I read a few reviews, some excerpts, and decided to give it a try. I've always been an "I want it now" kind of person, so ordering it and having it shipped seemed too long of a wait. I checked to see if Borders had it, knowing there was one nearby and going out of business, but no luck.

Just then, the "kindle" version caught my eye. It was a couple bucks less and I could have it right away. Problem: I don't own a Kindle. But wait, haven't I seen a Kindle icon on my Android EVO 4G? Yes, it's there. Go back to Amazon, buy the book, tap the Kindle icon, sign in with my already exiting Amazon account, and....bang! There it is...in seconds! I do most of the Tweeting and Facebooking (another new word) on my phone, so why not have the book there as well. I can read it anytime, anywhere.

I'll follow up with a book review once I'm done. Just thought I had to share the story.

BLOGS: Reality TV for readers???

noreply@blogger.com (Gess Homsany) — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 10:03:39 PDT

As far as blogging goes, I'm a relative newcomer. As a matter of fact, I'm a newbie in quite a large portion of the social media realm. What I've gathered thus far, is that blogging is closely related to Reality TV.

With all due respect, there are tens of thousands of bloggers out there who are experts in one or more fields and whose blogs are representative of that. Just as there are regularly programmed documentaries or other informative, historical, and educational series on TV. There are also authors and musicians whose blogs may correspond to regular network sitcoms, dramas, awards shows, concerts, etc. I am not likening these to Reality TV.

Still there are scores and scores of bloggers that are just writing whatever comes to mind (I happen to be one of them). Some purists or pro-bloggers may even look down on this approach. I hope not, but everyone is entitled to their opinion. In this way, readers are participating in the reality of the individual blogger's life and experiences. I for one find it interesting reading the way others go about their days and what they feel is interesting to write about.

No one can argue how popular the Reality TV genre has become. There are several shows I despise, in all honesty, most of them. I'll go as far as to say I am not a fan, overall. However, there are a few that I enjoy quite a bit. I watch these shows regularly. Most of the "stars" of these shows were not famous. They became famous because of their show. I, like most other bloggers, am not famous. Yet, because of social media and it's tools, we get thousands of hits on our blogs. In that way, we have become famous.

Ironic, that in a small way I am benefiting from a concept I have never really been a fan of...

The more you think about it, the more similarities you can draw.
I find it fascinating.
Still, I must say, it is extremely rewarding to know that others are interested in what I have to say. For that, I must say "Thank you!" to everyone who has taken the time to read this post or any other I have written or will write.

Happy blogging!

The Next Epic Fantasy Movie Series?

noreply@blogger.com (Gess Homsany) — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 15:22:29 PDT

I have a project for Peter Jackson, after he's done with the Hobbit. He's the obvious choice because of how well he directed the Lord Of The Rings trilogy. I was one of the many who read the actual books after seeing the movies, so perhaps my viewpoint is skewed a bit. Nevertheless, I think he did an excellent job.

As far as the project goes, there are many, many fantasy series out there, and I've read few of them. The first was The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant, the Unbeliever. Terrible title. Like with most other things, I was encouraged to read these books by my older brother. He later went on to read many other stories and criticized these as being the worst. His main reason was that they were too dark, almost depressing, hence the 'unbeliever' reference in the title. Books and other series written before and after are far more heroic and inspiring.

But it is this dark side that make me think a movie version would be successful. After all, we live in an imperfect world and have to deal with misery and despair often. For that reason, I think an adaptation would appeal to a much larger audience. I've tried several times to get my wife to watch the epics with me, but it bores her. Some people want a real life or human connection. The Chronicles has it. It actually begins somewhere in America, I believe in the mid-west. I can cheat and look it up, but what fun would that be? Anyway, I'm trying not to divulge much of the plot. Basically, it has it's heroic elements and a amazing, inspiring, fictional characters.

My brothers and I actually named our dog after one of the characters. He was one of "The Bloodguard" who vow to devote their existence to guarding a single person and no longer need to sleep, eat, etc. I apologize for being vague, but I'm trying to not to say too much.

The main character I categorize as an anti-hero. He frustrates reader beyond belief. He also suffers from leprosy, which is why he is extremely bitter. Again, this adds to the human element, overcoming obstacles and that sort of thing. Something that may increase the audience even more.

I realize my depiction thus far, likely is not making you want to rush out and buy the books. Believe me, I understand. However, I will say that I thoroughly enjoyed both The Chronicles and The 2nd Chronicles. Just to be sure, I re-read the 1st a few years ago, and I like it just as much as before. Being older, I was defined looking at most aspects from a different perspective, yet the appreciation did not diminish.

Hopefully someone influential might stumble across this post and decide it's a good idea. Or, the post will get SO many hits that it draws attention to a producer or director who decided to give it a shot. I can't imagine Peter Jackson will read this, but maybe someone who knows him will and pass it on.

Hey, what can I say? Unlike Thomas Covenant, I'm an optimist...

Semi-Video Blog - Live Songs better than the original

noreply@blogger.com (Gess Homsany) — Sun, 28 Aug 2011 10:01:02 PDT

The other day I Tweeted a YouTube video for an old Triumph video I used to watch long ago on M-TV. Actually, M-TV is the reason I started liking Triumph in the first place, or why I knew they existed even! I became a fan and one of their concerts were the first I had every attended. I began buying their albums (yes they were albums, not CD's), but I realized there were a few songs where I liked the video version better than the recorded one. Posting the Tweet the other day inspired me to list some of my favorites from Triumph and a few other bands / artists. I tried to include both versions:

Cheap Trick - I Want You To Want Me

The original is very quiet and doesn't seem as upbeat. What I mean by quiet is it doesn't have the raw distortion quality of the Live at Budokan version. It also does not have guitar fills.

U2 - Bad

From Wide Awake In America. For the most part, any U2 song is awesome live. They are at their best when Bono is singing with raw emotion while the Edge is strumming away in his unique style.

Bon Jovi - Born to Me My Baby

This one isn't a live version but a video version. I like it better because of how they isolate each instrument during the 1st verse.

Elton John - Candle In The Wind

Can't really put my finger on exactly why I like this version better. It just seems to flow better.

U2 - A Sort of Homecoming

see above...

Triumph - Hold On

This was a quick list, off the top of my head. Please add to it.

Another "On the Way to Work" Moral

noreply@blogger.com (Gess Homsany) — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 12:00:21 PDT

So this time, I'm heading to work, coincidentally in Paterson again. I'm several car lengths behind another car, while I cross a small bridge, and up the road, there is one other car approaching. Suddenly, the car in front of me makes a left turn without signalling right in front of the oncoming car.

BOOM! The front end of the oncoming car strikes the passenger side of the car making the left. It happened so fast, there was no way he could have avoided the collision. I quickly pull over and dial 911. The driver of the car making the left seems to be OK. Unfortunately, the other drive struck his forehead against the steering wheel.

As I approach, he tries to get out of the car. I recall hearing it is important to remain stationary after and accident, so I tell him to stay in the seat, and that I will help him. I rush to my car to find something to stop the bleeding. Having a messy car can sometimes be a good thing! At his request, I call the injured man's parents in a delicate, un-alarming fashion, and ask them to come down.

Shortly after, an off-duty paramedic pulls over and helps as well. He tells me I should have mentioned to 911 that there were injuries and to send an ambulance. Now I know for the next time I'm first on the scene. This section of Bunker Hill gets a steady flow of traffic, so by now the rubber necking has begun.

So another car slows down alongside, but instead of pulling over, the driver rolls down his window as if to say something. I approach, thinking like the other man, he;s about to offer assistance of some sort. Instead, he tells me, I should move my car out of the way to make it easier for everyone else to get to work...

Are you freaking kidding me!!! What a J.O.!!! He pulled away, not waiting for a response, even though I gave a pretty loud, profane one.

Finally, the police, ambulance, and parents arrive. I give the officer my statement, then continue on to work.

There is not much of a moral here, other than If you're not going to help, SHUT THE FRONT DOOR (you've all seen the commercial) AND KEEP DRIVING!!!

Oh and, look before you make a left turn...

Happiness is a Choice

noreply@blogger.com (Gess Homsany) — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 07:35:21 PDT

Another of my many, many authored philosophical mottoes is, Happiness is a Choice. What does that mean? Just what is says. You chose to be happy, or unhappy, just like you chose what you're going to wear. I know it sounds a bit corny, but bear with me for a moment.

For instance:

A few years ago, I became extremely disgruntled at work. It's easy to fall into a hole like that. I felt underpaid, unappreciated, blah ba blah ba blah. When I would arrive at work, if the small parking lot was full, I became infuriated.

How can there be no space for ME???
Why do others get to park here and I do not???
I should have me own space!!!

On and on it goes, and I enter the building with a large chip on my shoulder.

So it come to pass that I accept another job. Not long after, I change my mind and decided to go return. I'm not going to bore you with the details of the in-between, but one of my first days back, I pulled into the lot and there was no available space. Uh oh.

Suddenly, I realized...I'm not angry.

What was the difference?

Same cars.
Same lot.
Same building.
Same people.
Same job.

The difference was me. I allowed myself to get so irritated in the past for such a minor inconvenience. After all, I'm younger than most of my colleagues and in decent shape. I do not have any reasons or injuries that should keep me from walking a bit further. So what was making me so angry? Once again, ME!!! The situation was exactly the same, yet I had a completely different reaction.

From that moment forward, I've tried to remind myself that I'm in control of the bulk of my emotions. The only thing I truly accomplish by reacting negatively, is to make myself and those around me uncomfortable, irritable, unhappy, etc. And do not think for one second that it's not contagious...either way.

So next time you feel rage rushing over you, ask yourself, do you have to be angry, or can you choose not to be?

Save money on Energy while going GREEN

noreply@blogger.com (Gess Homsany) — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 08:13:44 PDT

Not long ago, the company I work for hired a consultant to reduce our utility costs. A few weeks ago, the consultant came back in to extend an opportunity to the employees. Afterward, I realized that this is also available to anyone and everyone, in participating states. The energy utility markets have been deregulated, like the phone companies were. 3rd party energy suppliers can sell energy (usually at lower rates) while the current (pun always intended) utility still handles billing, services, and reading the meter. Basically, if you live in a PSE&G service area and switch over, you'll still get the same PSE&G bill only the supply portion will list a 3rd party. Over time this can amount to considerable savings.

This company also guarantees using at least 20% renewable energy, like solar, wind, water power, etc. Needless to say, I signed up immediately. I liked the fact that my bill and service would still come from the same company, there is no enrollment or cancellation fees, and I could cancel any time. No brainer.

After investigating further, I decided to join the company's referral program. I am now an Independent Associate of Viridian Energy. I am NOT a corporate employee. If you're interested, click HERE, call me at the number below, or Email any questions. I signed up for their Everyday Green product, their most popular. Right now, during the 20/20 Summer Sizzle Promotion, you can take advantage of 20% discounts off the Viridian rates.

Gess Homsany
GJH Technical Services
Associate ID# 20081
(201) 481-3059

What's In A Name?

noreply@blogger.com (Gess Homsany) — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 19:49:39 PDT

I read a post about dos and don'ts for your social media presence. Among those were the authenticity of your identity. I agree with most of them. My question is, how important is it to use a "real" name? I completely understand how any type of misrepresentation is a bad thing.

When you say you're a pro, expert, or guru when you're not, credibility is shot.

If you display a picture of someone tall, dark, and handsome but you're short (vertically challenged), overweight, and pale, people will lose interest. Not to say you need to be an underwear model to get people's attention. Absolutely not! However, giving the impression you're something you're not is a bad practice.

That being said, what about a name? Does your credibility diminish if you disguise your name? Actors have had stage names for decades. Authors have had pen names for centuries. That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet...

I have an peculiar name that some have difficulty pronouncing, and is nearly impossible to distinguish aloud, especially over the phone.

Gess is pronounced Jess. When people read it, they will say, Gus, Guess, even Goose! Trust me, when a coach pronounces your name wrong at a high school pep rally, you better believe that mispronunciation will stick with you for a long time!
Homsany, for some reason, sounds to people like Thompson.

Nevertheless, I would proudly use it everywhere and anywhere. As I got older, I occasionally would spell Gess with a J, so the reader would pronounce it right. If I only had responsibility to myself, there would be no issue. But that's not the case. I have a family to think about now.

It is careless and naive to think we live in a perfect world. Now that there's one way social media, where anyone can follow anyone, I felt the need to protect, somewhat, those closest to me. I obviously have not gone to great lengths covering my tracks. A small amount of digging can reveal all. Still, it gives me a small measure of security.

Is that wrong? Am I being a fraud or unauthentic? Should my influence levels take a hit?

I think not.

My Suitcase Full of Tricks: I'm Not Classy OR a Urologist

noreply@blogger.com (Gess Homsany) — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 06:44:39 PDT

My Suitcase Full of Tricks: I'm Not Classy OR a Urologist: "Warning! Please do not read this post if you think I could possibly be any of the following: A) ladylike B) classy C) a good mother D) ..."