Start spreading the news, Obama’s in New York, attending the UN General Assembly. Unlike President Butt … I mean Bush, Obama will be sticking around for four days and three lovely nights in the Big Apple.
From what I understand, his calendar is chock full of important stuff. According to CBS news, he will be meeting with “Japanese Prime Minister Yukio Hatoyama of Japan.” Not to be confused with Japanese Prime Minister Yukio Hatoyama of New Jersey. BIG DIFFERENCE. Yukio of Jersey prefers sleeveless t-shirts and attending events like the Annual Weehawken Union Bowling Championship.
While meeting with Yukio of Japan at the Waldorf Astoria, he’ll be sampling the Bull and Bears yummy Tuna Tartare and the Ham with Par-magnesium Cheese. After chasing it down with a beer, he’ll mosey on down to the United Nations General Assembly at the UN Headquarters. You know, that place where Palin was so impressed with “all those flags.” My quotes, not hers.
At the UN General Assembly, he will do the complete polar opposite of our previous president – he will partake in a meeting with leaders of countries that provide peacekeeping troops only. C’mon, imagine it with me: “Whirled Peas.”
After the wreath-laying ceremony for fallen UN staff, he’ll chow down at a luncheon headed up by UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon. Cool name. Rhymes with Banshi Moon.
After lunch he heads back to the Astoria. However, I am certain, somewhere in between those two places, he’ll need to grab a newspaper (maybe even a paper that Palin knows the name of) and catch up on his daily reading while taking care of his afternoon constitutional. Sorry, I’m a mom with little kids. The poop jokes come easy.
Medvedev doing his Ricky Gervais impression.
Anyhoo, back at the Astoria, before he meets with Russian President Dmitry Medvedev, he will spend about thirty minutes practicing how to say Medvedevedevedevemedevedev. You get the idea.
Finally, at the end of the day, he and the missus are going to dress super spiffy and host a party at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. As expected, there will be signs everywhere stating, “Please Do Not Touch the Artwork.” For French President, Nicolas Sarkozy, the museum made a special sign to say, “Please Do Not Touch Other People’s Wives.”