Gadgets, reviews, and everything else new

Mac's coolest phone!

2009-11-24T08:48:00.000-08:00

Not not apple, designer Mac has come up with these two awesome looking, mind bending, and other big fancy words that I probably should not use because I don't know what they mean, designs that will make you wish you lived in the future. What he brings us today are new phone and desktop concepts.

The computer is called "Zafiro" which is made out of glass, round rim and "deformable material" for the keyboard which flattens out when not in use.
The phone is called "Cobalto" which also has the deformable keys and has the option of working as a regular smart phone. The design enables the phone to project 3D images, which is awesome! Can't wait for my 3D pron, I mean for 3D panoramic views of nature....

Spank the monkey for more images ;)

yankodesign

Poke-battle!!

2009-11-23T11:16:00.001-08:00

Now I assure you am not a geek and have no idea what's going on. But seriously, that blastoise couldn't have taken out that charizard in one hit. I mean look at it, it looks all malnourished and small. And a water cannon?? Come on, at least use a hydro blast... again, not that I would now, because I don't spend my weekends pokemon-card battling my brother. O.O

Anyway, this reminds of the time my friend drew two donkeys making out on his heat transfer test... and then I did something just as stupid the next time around which I might post later on. Don't look at me weird, you know you'd do it too.

albotas

The spoils of warfare 2

2009-11-17T18:49:00.000-08:00

So after I whooped this kids butt on Warfare 2, this is what he had to say:

Now, I know some of my cube mates talk to themselves and go crazy sometimes, but real weapons should be kept at least 5 miles away from this kid. I punched a wall once, it was steel and broke through it. No joke, I was like POW!! Cuz old school batman sounds come out when I hit things, so anyway did I mention I have a really short term attention span? Wow kitty!!

It's a sad day.

2009-11-16T14:36:00.000-08:00

I has been recently discovered that.... women do fart. The following is the thermal imaging of a Kim Kardashian fart. Ok maybe I made that up but, if was it would probably look something like this. It goes to show that hot girls are also a victim of beans..... re-fried beans mmmmmmm.

Conspiracy Theory, Google Street

2009-11-16T09:30:00.000-08:00

Now, I know that firemen are supposed to help people and old ladies can't really see much but, put them together and what do you get? That's right, an old lady on the floor. I'm not saying I have not ran over my share of old ladies, and backed up on a few to make sure they were out of their misery, but using a firetruck is just plain wrong. Now if it had been an ambulance.... would have been faster to get her to the hospital right?

Via Gizmodo

I wonder what the first thing was that came to the driver's head, "200 points!!!"
Second thing: "Oh shit, we're in trouble."
Third thing: "Lets just sprinkle some crack on her and lets get out of here."

Or at least that's what I would have thought. Anyway, those images have since been removed from google streets, in an effort to help keep the "hit the lady with a firetruck" game going.

Spank the monkey for a before shot of the incident.

Bugatti Veyron

2009-11-15T17:30:00.000-08:00

Here's a clip of the 1.5-ish million dollar car driving into the lake. Stupid invisible pelicans!!! The car is probably scrap by now no thanks to you! But seriously, one has to wonder what he was doing to just drive a 1.5 MILLION DOLLAR car into the lake.... getting a bj maybe?? hmmmmmmmmm

Next time, wait till you get home buddy.

Spank the monkey to see a video of the car being towed.

Crafty japanese

2009-11-14T13:10:00.000-08:00

Wowowee. The picture is HUGE. It's going to do nothing to contribute to the aesthetics of the site, but I don't care.

PEDOBEAR VERSUS RONALD MCDONALD

Lets do it, Dino-Style!!

2009-11-13T09:56:00.000-08:00

Ever heard of doggy style?? Well this is the next step up, Dino style!!
A lot rougher, harder, meaner, stronger and more enjoyable. I'm talking about dinosaur vs. dog fighting of course!! get your mind out of the gutter.... geeeesh

wikipedia
Next time someone says, "I wanna doggy style it tonight." You say, "f doggy, ama tyrannosaurus rex your arse..." yes YOU.

Cool Barcode Art

2009-11-12T20:04:00.000-08:00

The Japanese come up with some really cool ideas like anime, the car, Japanese girls, ummmm giant robots.... and some other cool crap. This here is some cool Japanese art in barcode form. It can get kind of pricey but hey, you gotta spend money if you want to be cool. Now I don't know why I didn't think of this, but then again, I didn't think of the wheel, or the internet, and I sure won't invent teleportation.... but did invent the "spiderman"!! Ok maybe I didn't.... hahahha O.O

Dvice

Review: Febreze Air Effects Cranberries and Frost

2009-11-12T01:00:00.000-08:00

Today, I'm going to review Febreze's Air Effects in Cranberries and Frost.

I find this scent cheerfully delicate. You know how other scents combine with your poop scent and linger in your air days after you take a dump? Soon you're sick of the poop scent and go out an buy a new scent only to have that one do the same thing. You're stuck with 20 different scents that remind you of crap. Ever been stuck in that scenario?

The best part about this scent is that it does NOT combine with the scent of your poop. It annihilates the poop scent completely and leaves a BEAUTIFUL scent behind.

(via curioustongue)
Does this turn you on?

Do you put deodorant on your balls?

2009-11-11T01:00:00.000-08:00

I, the queen of badass products, bring to you Fresh Balls! From freshballs, "Fresh Balls is the first and only antiperspirant for your boys… It’s Aluminum Free, Paraben Free and Talc Free. It contains Oatmeal as an anti-irritant and Tea Tree Oil – so it’s anti-bacterial as well. In other words, it’s perfect for your skin." In other words, ladies will line up at your balls hoping for a whiff.

Some guy even said it was as basic as shaving or brushing teeth.

This may be the next epic product of the century and at $14.99 a bottle, it's definitely a steal!

A Sincere Apology

2009-11-10T22:06:00.001-08:00

We apologize for the lack of epic posts. They are having problems at the whorehouse and we're getting sent there to straighten it out. Gotta be rough with them hos.

Hugs and herpes kisses!
xoxo

Durnk Halloween!!

2009-11-10T10:41:00.000-08:00

I know its somewhat past that time of year, and I seriously thought I had made a drunk post on Halloween, but apparently I just sent a really dirty nasty message to my grandma about ninja turtles.....

But anyway! I'm definately gonna try this out next year, maybe my wimpy friends will wanna have a drinking contest then!! Yest, am talking bout YOU, you know who you are. Here's the recipe for these delicious looking brain shooter if you wanna make some.

" bloody brain shooter

1 1/4 oz. strawberry vodka such as Stoli
1/8 oz. Rose's lime juice
3/4 oz. Bailey's Irish Cream
Splash of grenadine

Preparation:

Chill vodka for better smoothness. Add vodka and lime juice to a shaker, shake and strain into a shot glass. Using a straw, dip some Bailey's Irish Cream into the shot. Once you submerge the straw into the Bailey's put your finger on top of the straw to hold the Bailey's in the straw. Dip the straw tip into the vodka and slowly release your top finger. The Bailey's will curdle a little bit due to the lime juice and you should be able to make strands of Bailey's.

Repeat the straw/Bailey's process to build a "brain" in the shot glass. Add a splash of grenadine to the concoction to add the 'blood' to the mix. Down the hatch as a shot. "

Via Netorama

The AirShake: Anti Mexican Flue

2009-11-09T09:37:00.000-08:00

The Belgian telecommunications company telenet has reinvented the handshake. I thought I was cool for inventing the horizontal dance and the ninja stalking guide (don't tell anyone), but this is just way too cool. (They also have a video of how to do it on their webpage for the "visual" [stupid] learners ;)

"...we desperately need a new way of greeting each other, since greeting is the cornerstone of our social and political life. It's a sign of mutual respect, friendship and equality. As of today we propose to replace the firm handshake by an airshake, that's a handshake without touching one another."

Utter racism I say, who's to say the Mexicans invented the H1N1? I thought they couldn't even read? I'm kidding!!! I don't want no cholos coming after me, you know I love all Messicans. Do the shake!

Honda's Unicycle

2009-11-04T01:00:00.000-08:00

Imagine an obese person trying to ride.

(via inhabitat)

Maserati

2009-11-02T11:52:00.000-08:00

There's no way I'm going to edit and resize these photos or read and re-type the details here so here's the image straight from the CL-Design:

If you want to make life easier, just look at the pictures because that's all that matters.

COOL ASS FIREPLACE

2009-11-01T01:00:00.000-07:00

Although I'm far from buying my own mansion, when I do, I'm going to make it awesome. The back will be shaped like a pirate ship, the front will have a modern touch to it, and a giant salt-water aquarium moat will encircle it.

And I'm going to have this cool ass fireplace in the living room.

(via likecool)

It produces artificial heat and projects video of a flickering flame. The other details are kind of boring, so that's all you need to know.

LEMME SUCCU DRY PART 2

2009-10-31T00:50:00.000-07:00

Edward Cullen is a 108 year old virgin and when he finally sticks his pale-ass peen into Bella, who's a whiny little ho, she gets knocked up. It's very FML-worthy.

Ever since the 108 year old virgin became the craze, there's been all sorts of vampire products. Edible period blood, vampire fleshlights and 10 million variations of Twilight storylines in various media outlets to name a few. You think you've seen it all...

but have you seen the Edward Cullen panties?

Now... have you seen Edward Cullen's lips ON THE INSIDE of the panties?

(via twitarded)

HAHAHAH. SO WRONG. SO SAD. All the Twilight freaks are tweens. Imagine Dakota Fanning wearing these. I'm going to hell. =(

It's a matter of money

2009-10-30T00:40:00.000-07:00

You've been waiting the entire day.

True to your nature, you remain patient as the tension builds up.

Minutes pass by. Perhaps hours.

A tiny bead of sweat forms on your forehead.

The concentration is unbridled.

You can barely inhale.

Suddenly, the thickest Lincoln Log comes shooting out of your butthole.

Now THAT's a good dump. The ones that take some patience but are well worth waiting for. The ones that shoot everywhere, the ones don't come out in one piece, the ones that feel like they should be coming out of your urethra-- those suck.

Work Poop is a site that allows you to calculate how much you're getting paid to take a dump at work. You simply enter your hourly pay, time how much you get paid to poop, and it calculates how much your poop was worth. It can also calculate your poop-salary by entering a different set of parameters. Cool, right?

P.S. - Girls do poop.

LEMME SUCCU DRY

2009-10-26T13:51:00.001-07:00

The geniuses at Fleshlight have made a Vampire Fleshlight that boasts a fang-like texture on the inside appropriately named Succu Dry. ON SALE FOR $45. No STD free ho in the street will be this cheap.

via gizmodo

Everybody is cashing in on the vampire craze... vagina dentata.

According to the Fleshlight site, this will "suck you dry." A while ago, I created the tag "that sucks". Man, I am all knowing.

Something to brighten up your saturday

2009-10-24T09:18:00.000-07:00

I NEED COMMENTS

2009-10-23T13:59:00.001-07:00

I need reassurance that there are people out there who read this. Leave me a comment or I will deprive you of posts for the next week.

Balloon boy

2009-10-23T13:51:00.000-07:00

As well all know, Balloon Boy has become an internet meme after gaining wide publicity and wasting taxpayer's money for a hoax conducted by Richard Heene.

They actually made a shirt of this crazy white bastard's son. Now if they made a shirt from the crazy white bastard (and his son, for a coat) that would be a different story.

(via likecool)

And you can buy it here. It'll cost $20 and your soul.

WIN A JABRASTONE!

2009-10-21T17:42:00.000-07:00

Tell me that does not look cool.

(via core77)

This is AT&T's newest bluetooth headset. It looks AWESOME. Like the first time I saw my own vag. Kidding, it's not that awesome. I really don't want to share with our two readers that higher-ups have decided to give two of these babies away every week since that will lessen my chances of winning, but I'm feeling nice today. Enter to win here. It comes out on November 8th in the United States. The JabraStone has Noise Blackout, intelligent volume control, advanced noise cancellation and volume control. So when your needyass girlfriend calls and begins bawling in the range of 130 decibels (threshold of pain for you mortals), the headset will tune that broad down. But one of the main advantages of having one of these will definitely get you laid. Ladies will be all up over you because whoever drops $130 on a Bluetooth headset must have a wallet thicker than mantle of the earth.

I WANT!

Post

2009-10-20T07:16:00.000-07:00

I was told I'm not making enough posts nowadays. There are reasons why this is so.

It's titty-twisting 29 degrees outside. You just woke up. You're groggy and warm under your comforter, which has trapped all the heat like an igloo. There's no way in hell you want to get up.

But you have to, your brain is calling for a strong dose of caffeine. So you drag your ever-expanding lazyass to the kitchen to make a large cup. Now you're grumpy and your nipples are hard enough to stab stainless steel appliances.

"FAWK!" You exclaim. You've been trying to stab your blender that you didn't realize you have to go to school. You skip breakfast because you're half robot and don't need to eat. That being said, you have never had the satisfaction of taking a large, steamy dump either.

You pretend to pay attention. The professor is cross-eyed. You make up pirate stories about him. You stare out the window at the bleak and colorless landscape. You endure this pain for eight hours. You're ladened with homework.

You go home. You're too tired to whore it up like a boozed-up slut dancing topless on a beer pong table trying to impress the world on homecoming night. You do homework, but can't seem to take your eyes off Facebook.

"FAWK!" You explain. You find Mr. Zuckerberg and smack him up real good. He begs for your mercy and you are a merciful soul. He agrees to give you 79% of his annual salary in exchange for freedom and you agree.

Now you're tired. You didn't do any homework and your body aches in unimaginable places. You're too tired to type "blogger.com" in the search bar. You crawl under the covers and fall asleep.

ANNNNNNNNNNNNND... REPEAT. Since everyone should feel sympathy for my story, everyone should send me a portion of their annual salary whenever I post, okay?